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Violent Tags
Help I can't afford day care rent and feed my kids
Posted by Chantell45 on 2012-03-22 22:58:57
Croatian single mother
Posted by Croatian on 2012-03-09 15:58:34
Iâm sending you our documentation like reference for psychiatric care for my child (http://www.poliklinika-djeca.hr/english/) and other doc. If it needed.
Sorry for my bed english. Best regards,
Croatian single mother
Posted by Croatian on 2012-03-09 15:58:33
Iâm sending you our documentation like reference for psychiatric care for my child (http://www.poliklinika-djeca.hr/english/) and other doc. If it needed.
Sorry for my bed english. THX to all good people!!! Love!
moving home
Posted by norah1 on 2012-01-28 11:58:18
I Lived a Nightmare
Posted by startingover on 2012-01-14 20:58:35
Please help mom of Domestic Violence keep her home
Posted by mmccmason on 2012-01-11 04:58:18
The physical violence had stopped for many years before the marriage so I felt that my love had "HEALED ALL HIS WOUNDS" I was so wrong and fled with our kids the very first time he became physical against me again. I was a stay at home Mom when I fled from him the first time he became violent again. I had no job and he never again deposited his checks in our joint account to cover "our" current debt.
I always thought (and was told by many others) that he would be held accountable for 50% of all the joint debt that WE had racked up over the last 22 years.
WRONG! He/She who has the highest paid attorney will be able to pull you in to court every 2 weeks until the one with the less money breaks.
I work hard but put my kids first. Their Father leaves the USA on average for 6 months a year and misses any visits with his kids during his absence. He also does not pay his court order payments on time.
I was hit by a drunk driver over a year ago and lost my highest grossing job because I was unable to work for 6 months and a few months ago 2 other jobs I had were forced to let me go as they could no longer afford to keep me on.
Please help me save the only house my kids have known. The market has dropped and I have been upside down for 2 years now.
The house will go into foreclosure in the next 60 days if I can't raise the funds needed.
I hope you can find it in your heart to spare even just $1.00 to help me keep a roof over the kids head also to send out a short prayer for me to find a job would also be much appreciated.
Thank you for whatever you can spare.
Help a mom who fled from an abusive husband
Posted by mmccmason on 2012-01-11 04:58:17
The physical violence had stopped for many years before the marriage so I felt that my love had "HEALED ALL HIS WOUNDS" I was so wrong and fled with our kids the very first time he became physical against me again. I was a stay at home Mom when I fled from him the first time he became violent again. I had no job and he never again deposited his checks in our joint account to cover "our" current debt.
I always thought (and was told by many others) that he would be held accountable for 50% of all the joint debt that WE had racked up over the last 22 years.
WRONG! He/She who has the highest paid attorney will be able to pull you in to court every 2 weeks until the one with the less money breaks.
I work hard but put my kids first. Their Father leaves the USA on average for 6 months a year and misses any visits with his kids during his absence. He also does not pay his court order payments on time.
I was hit by a drunk driver over a year ago and lost my highest grossing job because I was unable to work for 6 months and a few months ago 2 other jobs I had were forced to let me go as they could no longer afford to keep me on.
Please help me save the only house my kids have known. The market has dropped and I have been upside down for 2 years now.
The house will go into foreclosure in the next 60 days if I can't raise the funds needed.
I hope you can find it in your heart to spare even just $1.00 to help me keep a roof over the kids head also to send out a short prayer for me to find a job would also be much appreciated.
Thank you for whatever you can spare.
Trying to keep roof over kids head since I was hit by a drunk driver
Posted by mmccmason on 2012-01-11 04:58:17
The physical violence had stopped for many years before the marriage so I felt that my love had "HEALED ALL HIS WOUNDS" I was so wrong and fled with our kids the very first time he became physical against me again. I was a stay at home Mom when I fled from him the first time he became violent again. I had no job and he never again deposited his checks in our joint account to cover "our" current debt.
I always thought (and was told by many others) that he would be held accountable for 50% of all the joint debt that WE had racked up over the last 22 years.
WRONG! He/She who has the highest paid attorney will be able to pull you in to court every 2 weeks until the one with the less money breaks.
I work hard but put my kids first. Their Father leaves the USA on average for 6 months a year and misses any visits with his kids during his absence. He also does not pay his court order payments on time.
I was hit by a drunk driver over a year ago and lost my highest grossing job because I was unable to work for 6 months and a few months ago 2 other jobs I had were forced to let me go as they could no longer afford to keep me on.
Please help me save the only house my kids have known. The market has dropped and I have been upside down for 2 years now.
The house will go into foreclosure in the next 60 days if I can't raise the funds needed.
I hope you can find it in your heart to spare even just $1.00 to help me keep a roof over the kids head also to send out a short prayer for me to find a job would also be much appreciated.
Thank you for whatever you can spare.
I was setup and fired for Fighting to keep kids safe at work. Now I am losing my home.
Posted by safeforkids on 2011-11-23 20:58:57
This led to MRDD kids getting sexually abused, manipulated, and viciously attacked many times leading to hospitalization and even surgery to repair the damage. I started out sending emails to the director of the hospital and then on to the CEO. I was wrote off and dismissed despite the number of kids that were getting hurt. I was told that we had to take all kids of patients depending on who the market was paying for and we would just have to find a way to make it safe, then to make things worse they started to lower our staffing. When they saw that I was not going to let it go they fired me saying that I had broken some BS policy. They have been fighting my unemployment and now I am fighting to keep my home. I am also still fighting them in the local press and court but since I am seen as a whistle blower I seem to be unemployable at this time. I have no regret for this fight but I do not want my own kids to suffer for my decisions. We have no money for Christmas and my son smiled and hugged me when I told him I had no money for his birthday last month. I donât like to ask for help but itâs all I have left. Thank you.
Homeless in 18 Hours
Posted by homelessnow on 2011-11-09 19:58:28
Well, the snowstorm in NYC cancelled our flight, and at the same time my wife developed severe problems with her blood glucose levels. She has child onset diabetes. After various tests at ER they discovered a serious abcess in her jaw and admitted her for antibiotic therapy. (Yale Hosp). This caused us to miss our flight again and had to buy tickets once more.
After returning to Atlanta she wasn't doing better and was readmitted because the infection was resistant to antibiotics. Meanwhile I am having to go from one hotel to the other getting dirt cheap rates on Priceline.com but no longer having money for food or the weekly hotel.
She was discharged from hospital last night.
Tonight is our last night and tomorrow we are out on the street with no food, nowhere to go and no money forger medication.
We are both professional 40 yr olds, lost our jobs and now our home, had to give up our animals and had car repossessed. Please, somebody, somewhere have some kindness and a generous heart.
Need car, just got out of a 15 year violent relationship
Posted by dv-survivor on 2011-11-08 17:58:33
sterilisation reversal desperatly needed
Posted by paula32 on 2011-09-07 04:58:21
I have a new partner now & we would really like children before its too late but cant afford the £4500 to get it reversed. I am asking for your help please.
Violent relationship
Posted by DesperationBleeds on 2011-08-02 13:58:51
I found my way out of the relationship, but I am left with nothing. I have creditors calling everyday, hospital and ambulance bills piling up. I don't know how I am going to pay my rent, my bills or put gas in my car and food on the table.
I was abused long enough, and now am in serious financial crisis as a result and am just looking to get out of the hole. PLEASE.
Please visit my blog at http://desperationbleeds.blogspot.com/ to learn more.
MENTALLY ILL! CAN'T WORK ON THE MEDICATIONS CAN'T WORK OFF THE MEDICATIONS!
Posted by mollymuledeer on 2011-06-04 22:58:05
My father was a schizophrenic my mother was a 1950's mom.
This was back in the early 1970's when people didn't know much about schizophrenia. The drugs made my dad really sick and he didn't want to take them. My mother, being from her generation, was ill prepared to deal with this kind of situation.
When I was 8 we moved to Woodstock, NY on my father's whim. Dad wouldn't work, so my Mom has to. I also have an older brother, Mitchell, who definitely picked up the mentally ill gene at an early age. After a time my Dad became really violent. He asked us all the time if we were afraid of him, but we were all too frightened to tell him "yes". my brother moved into a boy's shelter in town. He was 13 at the time. My brother got into lot's of fights. The night after the first time my father hit her, my Mom moved into a close-by seedy apartment to keep an eye on us kids, but my Dad wouldn't let her near us.
I was Daddy's princess which for some reason still makes me happy to this day. Being alone with him was a psychodelic nightmare. My Father told me that I was the Messiah(we're Jewish) returned to bring peace to the world. My Father said we would find the garden of Eden. I saw a lot of things that I'm sure couldn't possibly exist, but still think they were real.
It's difficult to explain what it's like to live with a schizophrenic. The person can be quite docile and then, on the drop of a dime, become a hideously violent person.
My father never physically hurt me, like he did my brother and my Mom. Nor did he ever molest me. my Dad did make me live in his mind like a cult makes you part of the group mind.
Eventually my Mother kidnapped me during the middle of the day from my elemenatarly school. She had got a legal separation from my Dad. He saw her car parked at a motel that night and kicked the door down. He asked me if I wanted to go with him or stay with her. I was 9 at the time, it seemed that the right thing to do was to go with my Mom, and my Dad agreed to let me go.
My Dad had visitation rights every weekend. He didn't show up the first weekend. We waited and waited.
The next weekend I slept in, not expecting him. Then, of course, he arrived. I knew it was going to be a bad deal.
The first thing my Dad did was try and kill me. He kept saying over and over, "why don't you love me!? why don't you love me!?" He was driving so fast and i was too small to see over the dash. He said, "if you don't love me I'm going to hit that tree and kill both of us!" I knew he meant it. We were going very fast but I got the car door opened and was going to jump it. He pulled the car door closed. I screamed, "Okay, I love you, I love you, I love you." and he slowed the car down.
We went to go have something to eat at some diner. We got back in the car and I promptly fell asleep and woke up in VIRGINIA.
Dad enrolled me in public school. I told the principle what was happening. The principle called my mother and she came with her father. The law at the time was if the kid was with you in a state, that kid was yours. But my Dad again did give me the choice to stay with him or go with my mother, and I chose my Mother.
At some point we moved down to Florida. My Dad was taking his meds so my Mom allowed him to follow us. Things went bad quickly and Mom called him from my Grandma's house around the street and told him to leave. When it was my turn to talk to him he asked me if I wanted him to leave to and I said "yes". He cursed me and said that he wished the same thing that happened to him would happen to me, and I'm not altogether sure it hasn't.
I've never really known how to relate to other people except tp people that are a lot like me. I'm being treated as bi-polar, but I have Boderline-Personality-Disorder and Post-Traumatic-Syndrome. I've taken classes that have helped me deall with sciety better. But the meds don't work so well. I have panic attacks being around people and hearing loud noises, which is at most jobs. I have trouble sleeping.
That was the last time I ever spoke to my Dad. He committed suicide a week later. My brother lives on the streets in Miami. And my Mom remarried somebody that is the exact opposite of my Dad.
Family in need
Posted by Raven on 2011-05-14 01:58:56
Hel left us with the house, all bills and everything. The point is, he was very controlling and sometimes violent because of his addiction to alcohol. He never allowed me to work, to have a social network etc and that made me get a severe depression with panic syndrome. When he left, there was no chance on earth for me to save our house, to pay our bills and so on, so life for us at the moment is really really bad.
I just got a job 2 weeks ago, 3hrs/day, not much but at least it is a job but it is hard to get back on track again and we would really appriciate if there is someone out there that want to help us to get back to a more or less normal life again. What we need is about $50.000 and we could pay the loans on the house we lost, all bills, buy some clothes, maybe with some luck buy an old, cheap car and then start to live again.
Thanks for taking time to read this and we hope someone would like to help, no amount is to small, everything counts. Thanks once again and god bless you all.
Just want to make ends meet
Posted by LWilson on 2011-05-10 22:58:47
Signed,
Out of options
My happiness depends on this
Posted by lawnmowerman on 2011-04-11 11:58:18
My life here in Australia is virtually over as my wife has turned everyone, including my family against me.
I am begging for your help and such a small amount will give me a life again and a love I haven't had for some 40 years...I am begging..Please help me. I am 60 years old and I just want happiness for the rest of my life and this small amount will give it to me
Please Help Me!
Posted by lindabaker on 2011-04-04 17:58:35
I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.
I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.
When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.
It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.
But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.
It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.
So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.
However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.
I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.
So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.
Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.
Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.
If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.
Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.
Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!
Sincerely,
Linda
Domestic Violence Victim - Please Help
Posted by nichole on 2011-03-20 09:58:01
I need the money so I can purchase a plane ticket back to the US. Please help me!
The more time goes by, the more violent he gets. There is no law here about it, and he is the only one who can communicate with the police, anyway.
Thank you for your help.
Desperate to Escape Abusive Husband!
Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:19
I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.
I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.
When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.
It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.
But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.
It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.
So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.
However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.
I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.
So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.
Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.
Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.
If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.
Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.
Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!
Sincerely,
Jamie
Desperate to Escape Abusive Husband!
Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:17
I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.
I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.
When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.
It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.
But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.
It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.
So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.
However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.
I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.
So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.
Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.
Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.
If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.
Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.
Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!
Sincerely,
Jamie
Desperate to Escape Abusive Husband
Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:16
I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.
I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.
When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.
It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.
But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.
It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.
So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.
However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.
I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.
So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.
Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.
Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.
If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.
Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.
Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!
Sincerely,
Jamie
Desperate to get Away from Abusive Husband!
Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:13
I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.
I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.
When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.
It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.
But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.
It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.
So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.
However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.
I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.
So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.
Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.
Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.
If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.
Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.
Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!
Sincerely,
Jamie
Desperate to Get Away from my Abusive Husband
Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:10
I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.
I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.
When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.
It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.
But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.
It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.
So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.
However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.
I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.
So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.
Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.
Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.
If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.
Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.
Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!
Sincerely,
Jamie
Need £700 before 15th march to stop eviction and me and my children being on the streets
Posted by shantelle on 2011-02-28 05:58:53
thanks Shantelle
