Therapist Tags

Hello due to unforseen reasons I got behind on my mortgage and when I had most of the money to pay Chase they did not want to take it but they wanted all of the money at once. They now have a sell date on my home for the 5th of next month and I have until May 29 at 5pm to have all the money plus lawyer fee totaling 9,155.30. I have 3,000 of it and my twin said she can come up with 1,200 of it. Please can someone help me I will pay you back. Checking around to different shelters has caused me anxiety that i never experienced. As the days goes by i cant function nor think because I feel helpless with this date clicking away. I can show proof to any donor or they can meet me at Chase bank. I am also a certified professional massage therapist and cosmetologist, I can also pay you back with services. Please please help

I have anxiety disorder, sometimes raging agoraphobia and also fell in 2007, causing two vertebrae to bulge and also did some nerve damage to my left arm. I suffer from severe back pain, hip and leg pain everyday and I drop things with my left had constantly! I tried and tried to push on, through the pain and depression I had but finally cracked and I was laid off in 2010 from my job for not being able to handle the pain or the pressure and stress and shortly thereafter met a guy who I will call Jake. Jake has panic disorder, agoraphobia and dependent personality disorder. His family had abandoned him, his friends had become fatigued with his panic attacks. He was in a bad situation being abused by someone who was taking advantage of his disabilities. My mother had over 20 years of suffering this type of illness and was in an abusive marriage, and I had had my own issues with anxiety and depression so I felt I had to help. I invited him to come live in my home. I told him I would do all I could to help. I arranged some free therapy. Introduced him to my friends and family. Gave him all the kindness and love I had in me.

I had hoped it would help. It has not. He is still depressed, still agoraphobic and the worst part for me, still has dependent personality disorder. Now for those who don’t know what this is, well it means I can’t leave the house without him and naturally he can’t leave the house without me. We have not been more than 50 feet from each other in the year he has been here. He can’t go and do anything like movies, bowling, shopping or anything like that so I can’t either, when I myself feel able to do any of those things that is. Don’t feel sorry for me though. I have fallen in love and this is a small sacrifice to make sure he is okay.

We both applied for disability five months ago but it is still working through the process. My unemployment ran out six weeks ago so we have no more income and to make matters worse my father who has early onset dementia with psychotic features had no where else to go so he is living with us now. This has all put serious strain on me. How to pay bills with no money? How do I help this man I love get better? How do I get my sick dad, who has no one else to help him get to appointments with doctors and therapist when I can’t leave the house myself? How do I get better?

I am in serious need of help. I need to be able to at least keep the house and keep the lights on. I don’ t know what to do. I am lost. There is no help for someone who tries to help others. I called the department of family and children services and asked if there was any government program or even charity they knew of that I could apply for help with and they acted like I was a crazy person. She was like, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to do for you.”

I am out of savings and my bills are due. I have appealed to family and friends but they are all strapped themselves. I have sold my van, a computer and anything else I had around my house to survive but I am tapped out. Now I am here, depressed and hurting all the time, my friend is here, depressed and we both are having a lot of anxiety. My dad is here and has no where else to go and I am so scared. I have never been in a situation where I had not only my life but the lives of others in my hands and I can’t do anything.

I feel helpless, hopeless and sometimes think it’s not worth going on. I just need some help making my bills for now until disability comes through. Then some of my stress will be reduced. Some that is. But that is most pressing right now. Like I said, keeping the lights on and a phone and car going in case of emergencies.

On top of everything I feel so alone. I have to try and smile because I don’t want my friend or dad to worry. I won’t them to know I am gonna be here for them and not let them down. But I don’t know where to turn to get the help so that does not happen. I am afraid. I am scared. I am depressed and stressed. I need help.

My daughter and I are in need of finding a place of our own. These past couple months have been extremely hard because of the death of my mother. We were all living together and my mom was splitting the rent with me and I was working to take care of her. She was sick with Cancer and she had the operation and we all thought she was going to be okay. She did not recover like we expected and she ended up going in a Rehabilitation Center and we visited her often until she came home. I am the youngest of her children. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister and we are called the Berry 5. We were allways known as the Berry Family from the time we were little. My mom started to do better and we were so happy to have her home. It came time for her to Start Chemotherapy and Radiation. She was scared but I and my sister talked her into it because we knew the doctors had told us that she needed it because the cancer had spread to her lymp nodes and when they did the surgery they were not able to get everything. My mom had done one week of Radiation and she went in for one session of Chemo. The same day she had Chemo she seemed fine and then 2 days later she was having fevers, throwing up and so extremely weak. I thought it was because of the Chemo because that is what was explained to us. My concern was she couldn't keep anything down. I needed to give her medication for her Diabetes and High Blood Pressure but everytime I gave her anything, it all came up and so I was so scared because her blood sugar was high and I didn't want it to get any higher. She began to complain of stomach pain and I thought it was another side effect of the Chemo. For a couple days of her vomiting and having diarrhea, I was able to get some fluids down her and it seemed to stay. Little by little we both thought she was doing better. Her strength was not there though, it was difficult for her to even get up to go to the bathroom. The following day she continued to vomit and I was scared so I told her she needed to go to the hospital, because I felt that they could help her more. They could give her medications through an IV and they could find out why she was so weak and everything. She was scared and did not want to go but I convinced her. The ambulance came and took her to the hospital. I tried to follow her but I had to pick up my 11 year old daughter from school. I did go and they would not let me go back right away. I told them my mom had been brought in and they told me she wasn't checked in yet. About 20 minutes passed and I went back up to the window and they told me they would see if the doctor would let me back there and they were saying my daughter couldn't come back there because she wasn't 14, I told them she is only 11 years old and I'm not leaving her in the waiting room with strangers and that she was coming back there with me. They finally let us in and we went back to see my mom. I couldn't believe they had her hooked up to so many machines and she was on morphine and so out of it. I walked up to her and I said Ma, I'm here and she turned and looked at me. She was happy to see me, but then she told me that they told her, they found blood in her stools. I told her it was probably just do to her Hemorrhoids. but she said they told her it was positive for something. I asked her for what and she didn't know. I began looking for the doctor so I could ask questions but he wasn't around and everyone I talked to told me the doctor would be in soon to go over my mom's condition. I stayed with my mom, just holding her hand, telling her I loved her and that she was going to be okay. They came in to take her to have an ultrasound and my daughter and I waited. The doctor finally came in and told me that my mom had an abcess in her stomach that had burst. I said what are you talking about? He said that she had a condition called peridonitis and that the abcess burst and was releasing all this poison inside her stomach and her blood pressure was dropping dramatically. He then told me it was too dangerous for them to operate at that time because her INR level to to high. My mom had been taking Cumadin for a blood clot that she previously had and the cumadin made her INR level extremely high and her blood was not clotting so they said if they did surgery, she would bleed out. They said they needed to correct it by giving her lots of blood products and they gave her all kinds of strong antibiotics and blood and plasma. They were pumping so much stuff into her, I didn't know what to do. Her blood pressure was like 85/60 and then like 76/40 and it was getting lower and lower. They had her hooked up to so many IVs and then they told me that she was the sickest person they had in the ER. So many doctors and interns and students and nurses overcrowded my mom's room. I called my sister and told her what was going on and she came down to be with me and my daughter. They told us they would do all they could for my mom but that it didn't look good. I began to pray, my mom had always taught me to pray and give things over to god. As the night went on, they decided to put an IV in my moms neck, they said it was more direct and if and when she went to surgery it would be better to have that in place. They made us leave the room and they had like 10 people in there with there machines and cameras and equipment to help guide them where to put the IV at. I had never gone through this before and I was so scared but I was keeping my faith. One doctor wanted to talk to me and my sister alone and I didn't want to hear him telling me anything negative. He asked us a lot of questions concerning my mom's health and history. He then told us that she was in acute renal failure and that her colon was damaged where the abcess bursts and fecal was being released into her abdomen. This is the last thing I wanted to hear. I asked him if they could fix it, he said they would do all they could but that their main focus was trying to bring her INR levels down because they were dangerously high. She was also anemic and that is why she was so weak, her blood level was extremely low. They were continuously giving her blood products, antibiotics and plasma. My sister decided to take my daughter home with her. I told her I would call her when I knew when they were going to do surgery. The surgeon had spoken to us and said that it was a good chance, and that operating was her only chance and once her blood level was corrected that they would go in and repair the damage. I felt some what relieved but as the night went on she was in a fight for her life. The main doctor working on my mom's case came and told me that her breathing was not getting any better and that he needed to put her to sleep so he could intubate her and put a breathing tube down her throat. He said it would be good to have anyways so that she would be ready when they went to surgery. There was nothing I could do except walk out of the room and wait. I continued to pray and wait and pray and wait. Hours went by and I would walk and peek inside the room and see my mom's blood pressure increasing some, this gave me hope but then the doctor would come and tell me it wasn't looking like she was improving and that we needed to prepare that she might not make it through the night. i couldn't believe what he was telling me. I called my sister and my brother and told them , they were praying as well. I didn't know who to listen to, one doctor is telling me it's hopeless and the surgeon is telling me it's a good chance she would be okay once taken to surgery. I sat in the hall because they wouldn't let me back in and they stayed with her at all times, monitoring her and giving her medicine and all the blood and stuff back to back. Then they came out in the hall and told me they were ready to take her to surgery. They said she might not hear you but you can still talk to her. I walked up to her lying there, so still and I told her how much I loved her and i told her to fight and that we would do it togther and that I would be here when she woke up and that I was not leaving her. The surgeon put me in the OR waiting room. I was all alone in there by myself. I waited and waited and only 20 mins went by and a security guard told me there was a cafe there and if I wanted to go grab a cup of coffee that I could. I went downstairs and got the coffee, as soon as I reached the OR floor I saw the surgeon standing there, he walked over to me and he said, I'm sorry but your mom's heart stopped during surgery and we revived her but then it stopped again and he said I don't we can get it back. My whole world just crumbled, I began screaming and crying and I fell to the floor. I was just askig God why. Why is this happening? This security lady came over to comfort me and began telling me how sorry she was and asked me if I had any family I could call. I called my sister and told her and she said she was on her way down. She lived in another city about 45 mins away. I was still on the ground just broken and this lady began to tell me that God would help me and give me the strength to go on. She asked me if I had any children, I told her I had a daughter, and she told me I needed to be strong for her. I wasn't trying to hear all that. My whole world was ripped right from under me. A couple of doctors and this lady helped me off the floor and the surgeon that came out , came out again and told me they would take me back to see her. They brought out a wheelchair and wheeled me back there and when they opened the door, my god I just saw them on top of her doing chest compressions and I was just screaming and then the surgeon is telling me I need to make a decision because everytime they do that, they are hurting her and he said, you don't want her to suffer anymore. I was just waiting on my sister4. I didn't want to make that call but I didn't want them pounding her chest in so I told them to stop. It killed in me inside. They wheeled me over to her and I just cried. My mom was only 60 years old and she had her whole life ahead of her and I don't understand why any of this happened. She was such a beautiful person and she had been a christian for 33 years. SHe loved the lord and she raised me and my siblings up in the church. I couldn't believe that she was gone because I had prayed and prayed and I just knew that God would spare her life. I lost my real father at the age of 16 and even then I didn't know him. I always had my mom and she remarried when I was 11 years old. She had been married for 19 years and my step father passed away in July of 2008. He was a sickly person and she took care of him and nursed him for all those years. He had diabetes, high blood pressure, prostate cancer, he was on dialysis for kidney failure, he had a four by pass surgery and he was in and out of the hospitals for years. She suffered so much seeing him suffer and taking care of him, he took what little strength she had. But because he was her husband she did all she could to help him and she loved him so much. So now all remains is just me and my siblings. It's hard because my mom was my best friend. I can't remember a time when she wasn't around. We did everything together and we lived together for years and I took care of her. I wanted so bad for her to be okay and to make it through surgery, I had been taught for years about the love of Jesus and I couldn't understand what he chose to take her away from her children and grandchildren. We had a two bedroom apartment and she had her room and my daughter and I shared a room. After she died, I went home that morning with my sister and I stayed over there for the remainder of the day. The whole day was just hurting, crying and calling the rest of the family. I felt so bad because my youngest brother, say youngest because he is the youngest of my 3 brothers, even though they are all older than me. He came to the hospital to see my mom but he thought she was still alive and the doctors didn't tell him, they let him in the room and she was already covered up and he walked in and was like, it's over ?? he couldn't believe it , he just broke down. One of the nurses that was in the OR called my sister and he was crying, apologizing to us because he thought my brother already knew. He told us how sorry he was. Now my family is broken, my mom was the rock that held us all together. We didn't have money growing up, we didn't have a lot of the finer things in life but we had love. She loved us like no one could. She did it all for her children and most importantly she taught us about God. She lived her life for Jesus, she would pray on a regular basis, read her bible daily, go to church often as she could and when things looked hopeless she took them to god in prayer. She prayed not only for her children, grandchildren and siblings but for people all over the world, she would pray for all the countries and for the sick and homeless and anyone she could pray for. She gave over the years endlessly to Trinity Broadcasting Network, Feed the children, CBN, David Terrell Ministries, Boys Town, Children International, Food For All and to so many others. Month after month, year after year she was giving. She taught us how to give and there were times when we would just make food and take it to the park to give to the homeless, bottled water, sandwiches, noodles, chicken or whatever we could. She would never turn down a person needing help or asking for spare change, she would give freely. She would tell me all the time, it's better to give than to receive and that god would bless me. So I began giving as well, I would call and donate and try to help whenever I could. My mom was also a big giver to the goodwill. Over the years we gave so much, and everytime they would ask if we wanted a donation paper for a tax write off she would say no. she didn't want that, she was giving freely and she didn't want anything in return. That's who she was, she was the person who would mentor you and talk to you about Jesus and how over the years he brought her and our family through so many trials and tribulations. SHe praised god for everything, for the good times and the bad. She used to always tell me to be thankful and to praise god. Now there were times when i was suffering so much and I didn't want to praise god, I wanted god to help me and at the time it seemed like he wasn't. My mom was always there to tell me baby, hold on.. give your burdens over to the lord and he will help you and supply all your needs. I realized that he did just that. I remember when she had surgery for the cancer and she was wondering why god allowed her to come down with that. It was hard for her because her faith was shaken then. She couldn't believe after she was faithful to him for so many years that he would allow her to suffer so horribly and there my sister and I were telling her that she would be okay, that God loved her still and he had not forsaken her and that he would bring her through this. She was so discouraged at the time but we would not let up. She couldn't believe this was her children mentoring and encouragiing her as she had done for us over the years. She told me, she was happy and she felt relieved that her living and everything she had taught us was not in vain. She was thankful to God that we were listening to her and by example we followed her footsteps. She began to get better and we thought she would be okay. My mom was a pure Christian, she didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, didn't curse. She would make you turn the tv channel if you were watching something that cursed. She loved her cowboys though. Her favorites were Bonanza, The rifle man, High Chapparal, Wagon Train, The Virginian and so many others. She also loved the old shows, the clean shows, the original dennis the menace, columbo, family affair, petticoat junction, I married joan, hawai five o, the streets of san francisco, i spy, murder she wrote, in the heat of the night, matlock, the big vally, dr quinn, little house on the prairie, family ties, good times, 227, what's happening, the jeffersons, the brady bunch and so many others. Her favorite game shows were The price is right, deal or no deal, let's make a deal, the newlywed game, match game and who wants to be a millionaire. I loved spending time with my mom, she was someone I could always talk to and she would never judge me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. She taught me how to carry myself as a lady and she taught me how to stand up for myself and I owe her so much. I felt like I let her down that night she was in the hospital and I told her she would be okay and that I would be waiting for her when she woke up but she never woke up. I felt that made me a liar. I had been taking care of my mom for months and I was preparing her meals, giving her medications on schedule and was taking her to her appointments and running errands for her. My mom had been weak for so long because before she found out she had cancer she was bleeding perfusely having vaginal bleeding and they made her very anemic. Before surgery she had 4 transfusions and then after surgery she had 2 more. She never got all her strength back and after she had the first surgery, she was too weak that they sent her to Ballard Rehabilitation and they were working on getting her strength back and getting her up and walking. She did so much better when she was in there and when she came home, they sent out a home health nurse, a physcialy therapist and an occupational therapist. They began doing exercises with her and the physical therapist thought it would benefit my mom to have some help with getting around. So she ordered her an walker , the kind that had a seat on it, she ordered her a wheel chair, a raised toilet seat with the rails and a shower chair and shower bench. So when my mom started walking more better she was using her walker all the time, it was helping her because she had the support to keep her from falling and when she got tired , she could just sit down. I did all I could to take care of her, on a daily basis. She was not strong enough to shower herself, so I bought the shower hose and I began to shower her daily, dress her and do everything for her but I loved her so much and I didn't care what I had to do, she was my mom. There were days when she thought she was a burden to me and she would tell me, that I work to hard and that she was sorry she was not able to do things for herself and i would immediately tell her to stop talking like that. I would tell her, she was my mom, I loved her and wanted to look after her and that she wasn't a burden on me. That she took care of me when I was little and over the years and now it was my turn to take care of her. She told me a couple weeks before she passed away , you said, you really stood by your mom, when all the others went on their way. you stood by your mom. She said, I don't know what I would have done with out you. She said I don't know how I would have made it and she said god is really going to bless you and he will remember everything you did for your mother. She told me how special I was and now that she is gone , I remember everything she ever told me. It has been so hard, going through all her things and seeing all the cards and letters she gave me over the years. Everybody keeps telling me it will get better but I don't see that happening. I can't go one day without crying for missing her so much. I am grateful because she is not in any more pain but I am hurting so badly without her. I have a big sister but we have never been that close, she seems to want to spend more time with me now but nobody could ever feel that empty space inside my heart for my mother. I recently moved in with my brother and I want so desperately for me and my daughter to be able to get a place of our own. It costs so much to pay for first and last months rent and I have this old 1994 car that has been giving me so much trouble and I am barely scraping along , just trying to make it. I would appreciate any help I am given. If anyone can find it in their heart to help me and my daughter move out and get our own place or simply help us with the day to day necessities, it would be greatly appreciated.

My daughter and I are in need of finding a place of our own. These past couple months have been extremely hard because of the death of my mother. We were all living together and my mom was splitting the rent with me and I was working to take care of her. She was sick with Cancer and she had the operation and we all thought she was going to be okay. She did not recover like we expected and she ended up going in a Rehabilitation Center and we visited her often until she came home. I am the youngest of her children. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister and we are called the Berry 5. We were allways known as the Berry Family from the time we were little. My mom started to do better and we were so happy to have her home. It came time for her to Start Chemotherapy and Radiation. She was scared but I and my sister talked her into it because we knew the doctors had told us that she needed it because the cancer had spread to her lymp nodes and when they did the surgery they were not able to get everything. My mom had done one week of Radiation and she went in for one session of Chemo. The same day she had Chemo she seemed fine and then 2 days later she was having fevers, throwing up and so extremely weak. I thought it was because of the Chemo because that is what was explained to us. My concern was she couldn't keep anything down. I needed to give her medication for her Diabetes and High Blood Pressure but everytime I gave her anything, it all came up and so I was so scared because her blood sugar was high and I didn't want it to get any higher. She began to complain of stomach pain and I thought it was another side effect of the Chemo. For a couple days of her vomiting and having diarrhea, I was able to get some fluids down her and it seemed to stay. Little by little we both thought she was doing better. Her strength was not there though, it was difficult for her to even get up to go to the bathroom. The following day she continued to vomit and I was scared so I told her she needed to go to the hospital, because I felt that they could help her more. They could give her medications through an IV and they could find out why she was so weak and everything. She was scared and did not want to go but I convinced her. The ambulance came and took her to the hospital. I tried to follow her but I had to pick up my 11 year old daughter from school. I did go and they would not let me go back right away. I told them my mom had been brought in and they told me she wasn't checked in yet. About 20 minutes passed and I went back up to the window and they told me they would see if the doctor would let me back there and they were saying my daughter couldn't come back there because she wasn't 14, I told them she is only 11 years old and I'm not leaving her in the waiting room with strangers and that she was coming back there with me. They finally let us in and we went back to see my mom. I couldn't believe they had her hooked up to so many machines and she was on morphine and so out of it. I walked up to her and I said Ma, I'm here and she turned and looked at me. She was happy to see me, but then she told me that they told her, they found blood in her stools. I told her it was probably just do to her Hemorrhoids. but she said they told her it was positive for something. I asked her for what and she didn't know. I began looking for the doctor so I could ask questions but he wasn't around and everyone I talked to told me the doctor would be in soon to go over my mom's condition. I stayed with my mom, just holding her hand, telling her I loved her and that she was going to be okay. They came in to take her to have an ultrasound and my daughter and I waited. The doctor finally came in and told me that my mom had an abcess in her stomach that had burst. I said what are you talking about? He said that she had a condition called peridonitis and that the abcess burst and was releasing all this poison inside her stomach and her blood pressure was dropping dramatically. He then told me it was too dangerous for them to operate at that time because her INR level to to high. My mom had been taking Cumadin for a blood clot that she previously had and the cumadin made her INR level extremely high and her blood was not clotting so they said if they did surgery, she would bleed out. They said they needed to correct it by giving her lots of blood products and they gave her all kinds of strong antibiotics and blood and plasma. They were pumping so much stuff into her, I didn't know what to do. Her blood pressure was like 85/60 and then like 76/40 and it was getting lower and lower. They had her hooked up to so many IVs and then they told me that she was the sickest person they had in the ER. So many doctors and interns and students and nurses overcrowded my mom's room. I called my sister and told her what was going on and she came down to be with me and my daughter. They told us they would do all they could for my mom but that it didn't look good. I began to pray, my mom had always taught me to pray and give things over to god. As the night went on, they decided to put an IV in my moms neck, they said it was more direct and if and when she went to surgery it would be better to have that in place. They made us leave the room and they had like 10 people in there with there machines and cameras and equipment to help guide them where to put the IV at. I had never gone through this before and I was so scared but I was keeping my faith. One doctor wanted to talk to me and my sister alone and I didn't want to hear him telling me anything negative. He asked us a lot of questions concerning my mom's health and history. He then told us that she was in acute renal failure and that her colon was damaged where the abcess bursts and fecal was being released into her abdomen. This is the last thing I wanted to hear. I asked him if they could fix it, he said they would do all they could but that their main focus was trying to bring her INR levels down because they were dangerously high. She was also anemic and that is why she was so weak, her blood level was extremely low. They were continuously giving her blood products, antibiotics and plasma. My sister decided to take my daughter home with her. I told her I would call her when I knew when they were going to do surgery. The surgeon had spoken to us and said that it was a good chance, and that operating was her only chance and once her blood level was corrected that they would go in and repair the damage. I felt some what relieved but as the night went on she was in a fight for her life. The main doctor working on my mom's case came and told me that her breathing was not getting any better and that he needed to put her to sleep so he could intubate her and put a breathing tube down her throat. He said it would be good to have anyways so that she would be ready when they went to surgery. There was nothing I could do except walk out of the room and wait. I continued to pray and wait and pray and wait. Hours went by and I would walk and peek inside the room and see my mom's blood pressure increasing some, this gave me hope but then the doctor would come and tell me it wasn't looking like she was improving and that we needed to prepare that she might not make it through the night. i couldn't believe what he was telling me. I called my sister and my brother and told them , they were praying as well. I didn't know who to listen to, one doctor is telling me it's hopeless and the surgeon is telling me it's a good chance she would be okay once taken to surgery. I sat in the hall because they wouldn't let me back in and they stayed with her at all times, monitoring her and giving her medicine and all the blood and stuff back to back. Then they came out in the hall and told me they were ready to take her to surgery. They said she might not hear you but you can still talk to her. I walked up to her lying there, so still and I told her how much I loved her and i told her to fight and that we would do it togther and that I would be here when she woke up and that I was not leaving her. The surgeon put me in the OR waiting room. I was all alone in there by myself. I waited and waited and only 20 mins went by and a security guard told me there was a cafe there and if I wanted to go grab a cup of coffee that I could. I went downstairs and got the coffee, as soon as I reached the OR floor I saw the surgeon standing there, he walked over to me and he said, I'm sorry but your mom's heart stopped during surgery and we revived her but then it stopped again and he said I don't we can get it back. My whole world just crumbled, I began screaming and crying and I fell to the floor. I was just askig God why. Why is this happening? This security lady came over to comfort me and began telling me how sorry she was and asked me if I had any family I could call. I called my sister and told her and she said she was on her way down. She lived in another city about 45 mins away. I was still on the ground just broken and this lady began to tell me that God would help me and give me the strength to go on. She asked me if I had any children, I told her I had a daughter, and she told me I needed to be strong for her. I wasn't trying to hear all that. My whole world was ripped right from under me. A couple of doctors and this lady helped me off the floor and the surgeon that came out , came out again and told me they would take me back to see her. They brought out a wheelchair and wheeled me back there and when they opened the door, my god I just saw them on top of her doing chest compressions and I was just screaming and then the surgeon is telling me I need to make a decision because everytime they do that, they are hurting her and he said, you don't want her to suffer anymore. I was just waiting on my sister4. I didn't want to make that call but I didn't want them pounding her chest in so I told them to stop. It killed in me inside. They wheeled me over to her and I just cried. My mom was only 60 years old and she had her whole life ahead of her and I don't understand why any of this happened. She was such a beautiful person and she had been a christian for 33 years. SHe loved the lord and she raised me and my siblings up in the church. I couldn't believe that she was gone because I had prayed and prayed and I just knew that God would spare her life. I lost my real father at the age of 16 and even then I didn't know him. I always had my mom and she remarried when I was 11 years old. She had been married for 19 years and my step father passed away in July of 2008. He was a sickly person and she took care of him and nursed him for all those years. He had diabetes, high blood pressure, prostate cancer, he was on dialysis for kidney failure, he had a four by pass surgery and he was in and out of the hospitals for years. She suffered so much seeing him suffer and taking care of him, he took what little strength she had. But because he was her husband she did all she could to help him and she loved him so much. So now all remains is just me and my siblings. It's hard because my mom was my best friend. I can't remember a time when she wasn't around. We did everything together and we lived together for years and I took care of her. I wanted so bad for her to be okay and to make it through surgery, I had been taught for years about the love of Jesus and I couldn't understand what he chose to take her away from her children and grandchildren. We had a two bedroom apartment and she had her room and my daughter and I shared a room. After she died, I went home that morning with my sister and I stayed over there for the remainder of the day. The whole day was just hurting, crying and calling the rest of the family. I felt so bad because my youngest brother, say youngest because he is the youngest of my 3 brothers, even though they are all older than me. He came to the hospital to see my mom but he thought she was still alive and the doctors didn't tell him, they let him in the room and she was already covered up and he walked in and was like, it's over ?? he couldn't believe it , he just broke down. One of the nurses that was in the OR called my sister and he was crying, apologizing to us because he thought my brother already knew. He told us how sorry he was. Now my family is broken, my mom was the rock that held us all together. We didn't have money growing up, we didn't have a lot of the finer things in life but we had love. She loved us like no one could. She did it all for her children and most importantly she taught us about God. She lived her life for Jesus, she would pray on a regular basis, read her bible daily, go to church often as she could and when things looked hopeless she took them to god in prayer. She prayed not only for her children, grandchildren and siblings but for people all over the world, she would pray for all the countries and for the sick and homeless and anyone she could pray for. She gave over the years endlessly to Trinity Broadcasting Network, Feed the children, CBN, David Terrell Ministries, Boys Town, Children International, Food For All and to so many others. Month after month, year after year she was giving. She taught us how to give and there were times when we would just make food and take it to the park to give to the homeless, bottled water, sandwiches, noodles, chicken or whatever we could. She would never turn down a person needing help or asking for spare change, she would give freely. She would tell me all the time, it's better to give than to receive and that god would bless me. So I began giving as well, I would call and donate and try to help whenever I could. My mom was also a big giver to the goodwill. Over the years we gave so much, and everytime they would ask if we wanted a donation paper for a tax write off she would say no. she didn't want that, she was giving freely and she didn't want anything in return. That's who she was, she was the person who would mentor you and talk to you about Jesus and how over the years he brought her and our family through so many trials and tribulations. SHe praised god for everything, for the good times and the bad. She used to always tell me to be thankful and to praise god. Now there were times when i was suffering so much and I didn't want to praise god, I wanted god to help me and at the time it seemed like he wasn't. My mom was always there to tell me baby, hold on.. give your burdens over to the lord and he will help you and supply all your needs. I realized that he did just that. I remember when she had surgery for the cancer and she was wondering why god allowed her to come down with that. It was hard for her because her faith was shaken then. She couldn't believe after she was faithful to him for so many years that he would allow her to suffer so horribly and there my sister and I were telling her that she would be okay, that God loved her still and he had not forsaken her and that he would bring her through this. She was so discouraged at the time but we would not let up. She couldn't believe this was her children mentoring and encouragiing her as she had done for us over the years. She told me, she was happy and she felt relieved that her living and everything she had taught us was not in vain. She was thankful to God that we were listening to her and by example we followed her footsteps. She began to get better and we thought she would be okay. My mom was a pure Christian, she didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, didn't curse. She would make you turn the tv channel if you were watching something that cursed. She loved her cowboys though. Her favorites were Bonanza, The rifle man, High Chapparal, Wagon Train, The Virginian and so many others. She also loved the old shows, the clean shows, the original dennis the menace, columbo, family affair, petticoat junction, I married joan, hawai five o, the streets of san francisco, i spy, murder she wrote, in the heat of the night, matlock, the big vally, dr quinn, little house on the prairie, family ties, good times, 227, what's happening, the jeffersons, the brady bunch and so many others. Her favorite game shows were The price is right, deal or no deal, let's make a deal, the newlywed game, match game and who wants to be a millionaire. I loved spending time with my mom, she was someone I could always talk to and she would never judge me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. She taught me how to carry myself as a lady and she taught me how to stand up for myself and I owe her so much. I felt like I let her down that night she was in the hospital and I told her she would be okay and that I would be waiting for her when she woke up but she never woke up. I felt that made me a liar. I had been taking care of my mom for months and I was preparing her meals, giving her medications on schedule and was taking her to her appointments and running errands for her. My mom had been weak for so long because before she found out she had cancer she was bleeding perfusely having vaginal bleeding and they made her very anemic. Before surgery she had 4 transfusions and then after surgery she had 2 more. She never got all her strength back and after she had the first surgery, she was too weak that they sent her to Ballard Rehabilitation and they were working on getting her strength back and getting her up and walking. She did so much better when she was in there and when she came home, they sent out a home health nurse, a physcialy therapist and an occupational therapist. They began doing exercises with her and the physical therapist thought it would benefit my mom to have some help with getting around. So she ordered her an walker , the kind that had a seat on it, she ordered her a wheel chair, a raised toilet seat with the rails and a shower chair and shower bench. So when my mom started walking more better she was using her walker all the time, it was helping her because she had the support to keep her from falling and when she got tired , she could just sit down. I did all I could to take care of her, on a daily basis. She was not strong enough to shower herself, so I bought the shower hose and I began to shower her daily, dress her and do everything for her but I loved her so much and I didn't care what I had to do, she was my mom. There were days when she thought she was a burden to me and she would tell me, that I work to hard and that she was sorry she was not able to do things for herself and i would immediately tell her to stop talking like that. I would tell her, she was my mom, I loved her and wanted to look after her and that she wasn't a burden on me. That she took care of me when I was little and over the years and now it was my turn to take care of her. She told me a couple weeks before she passed away , you said, you really stood by your mom, when all the others went on their way. you stood by your mom. She said, I don't know what I would have done with out you. She said I don't know how I would have made it and she said god is really going to bless you and he will remember everything you did for your mother. She told me how special I was and now that she is gone , I remember everything she ever told me. It has been so hard, going through all her things and seeing all the cards and letters she gave me over the years. Everybody keeps telling me it will get better but I don't see that happening. I can't go one day without crying for missing her so much. I am grateful because she is not in any more pain but I am hurting so badly without her. I have a big sister but we have never been that close, she seems to want to spend more time with me now but nobody could ever feel that empty space inside my heart for my mother. I recently moved in with my brother and I want so desperately for me and my daughter to be able to get a place of our own. It costs so much to pay for first and last months rent and I have this old 1994 car that has been giving me so much trouble and I am barely scraping along , just trying to make it. I would appreciate any help I am given. If anyone can find it in their heart to help me and my daughter move out and get our own place or simply help us with the day to day necessities, it would be greatly appreciated.

Hi,

(Note: You may see this same post on beggingmoney.com)

My name is Eliabe. I am an 18-year-old guy from Brazil and I need your donation because I need to move away but I can't afford it.
Let me tell you why.

I grew up being abused by my dad -- emotionally and sexually. I did not realize what was happening until recently. I still have to deal with the consequences. I became social phobic, anxious and depressed. I am still afraid, disgusted of and uncomfortable with touch and closeness, yet I am dying for it. An African therapist agreed to help me for free, so I am getting better but only very recently am I making progress.

Three, almost four, years ago (2008), my family rejected me over religious issues. I wanted to join this Sabbatarian Christian religious association (this particular sect is a minority in Brazil and honestly everywhere else but they're more present in the US and England) and my family rejected me and reproached me so severely that it radically changed my personality. They wanted to throw me away. I was only 15. I had nowhere to go. I was deeply shocked and shaken on the inside. I never knew I could feel so hurt! I had never expected such sudden rejection from them. My mom said I was a disappointment to her and that I would not stay under the same ceiling as hers if I wanted to keep my faith. My siblings made fun of me and my new beliefs. My father demonized me and said he'd take me to their religious authorities to “straighten me out.” They accused me of bringing a curse into our lives and treated me as a shame to the family ("What will others think?" they wondered). My relatives (uncles, aunts, cousins -- I have a big family) were all against me too. I did not tell my friends because they belonged to the same religion as my parents. I started isolating from everybody. I became very deeply depressed. I would sleep just not to have to be awake and suffering.

It was really overwhelming to me. I had nowhere to go, no one to turn to. The congregation was out of town. So I decided to give up on joining that group. However, I did not stop believing in them but I had to pretend to be in my parents' religion on the outside.

But then my life became a nightmare. I had bad dreams at night. I became paranoid. Every time I was outside, I would walk around the house many times before taking the courage to go in. My heart would pound every time the phone or doorbell rang or someone called my name or asked about my religion. I would feel sick and go pale every time someone initiated a conversation about religion with me. I was traumatized. I am only getting better now. I fainted many times as I got weak because my mom refused to cook clean kosher dishes for me. I can’t even begin to describe all the sacrifices and pains I had to go through not to lose my identity. I can’t, for example, go out on a date or have a serious friendship because I am hiding the most important part of myself. Try to have a relationship where you do things you can’t explain the other party. Do you think it can ever work? My friendships are all shallow because of that.

I am a recent high school graduate. I took a basic course on administrative services and telemarketing last year, paid by the government as part of a program in Brazil called “Jovem Aprendiz” (“Young Apprentice” in English). As part of that course, I am working part-time, supposedly to acquire experience in the field, though I actually work as a warehousing assistant in the company (completely unrelated to administrative services). As I only work part-time (4 hours a day), I only receive HALF the minimum wage, which means I earn about $2 per hour. Yes, I could save that money to achieve my goals. It would take over two years but it would be possible. But I can't at the moment because I have to support my parents and siblings. My brother also works and my dad has recently found a job after three years of unemployment but I still have to give them a significant part of my salary or else we will starve. Also, even if I could, I’d still be desperate because I have been suffering for almost FOUR YEARS!

So I want to move away because I want to be free to convert and live my life, have friends, a girlfriend and a normal life. I got a passport and contacts in the United States. They can help me once I am there but they can’t buy my plane tickets as they cost over $800! There are also additional costs as I need a visa. I am currently looking for a job there. There have been people who want to hire me but they stopped contacting me after learning of the costs they would have to pay.
So please help me. It is the ONLY way for me to be happy again! It doesn’t matter how much you donate. It will make a HUGE difference.

Thank you very much. God bless you!

Click below to donate:

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=VQLJXYWTYVRW6

Hi.

Thanks for taking the time to read my request. I'm 30 years old, still in college and living with my parents. I've made a lot of great accomplishments in my life with far less support than most people who make it this far. Of course, with that said I've also made plenty of mistakes.

I grew up with a single parent, and another parent who visited annually just to stir up emotions and make my life miserable. When I was 18, I decided to work really hard to lose weight so that I could join the US Air Force. I had a strict plan that I was going to follow to succeed in life.

Unfortunately my superiors in the USAF would not accommodate that plan to independence as they forced me to find my own way from the barracks to work (a 40 mi drive), so I had to immediately struggle to get my drivers licence and I had to buy a car on an Airman's paygrade.

My income wasn't enough to afford the car and gas and other living needs that I was expected to pay, so eventually I had to leave the Air Force before my term was up (under honorable conditions). I tried to work as a civilian. The transfer was tough and I was vastly uninformed about what to do and what my options were. I'm the first first generation college student of my extended family.

After some petty jobs that would each take more than 10 years to be able to earn enough to live independently, I finally found a nice nighttime custodian job that was at least simple enough for that kind of pay. I was the night time custodian, but I was also a guy to have on call at this retirement home where I worked. If people's toilets flooded or a nearly deaf resident left their tv on past quiet hours (once I could hear one through 3 floors!) I was the guy to send up to fix it.

Having my first satisfying job as a civilian, I was able to investigate community college during the day, so eventually I enrolled and tried taking a few classes while working full-time. College was my saving grace. I never felt like I belonged anywhere until I first started to take college courses in math, science, and philosophy. I found the tutoring lounge on campus, made a lot of friends there, and I spent many hours cramming and helping those in need.

This soon led to me finding financial aid, making arrangements with my parents (my mom and my stepfather) to let me go to school full-time while I lived with them, and putting in my 2 weeks notice at work to focus exclusively on school.

My counselors advised that I pick where I want to transfer to and then figure out the details of how to get there after I got accepted. I think this was bad advice. While I ended up choosing to transfer to a university that had my desired major, Biophysics, it was 60 miles away from where my parents lived. My car that I had bought when I was in the Air Force also eventually broke down from not being able to afford maintenance while I worked, and was towed away for being in the public street for too long.

Finally, I got accepted to UC San Diego to work towards a degree in Physics with a specialty in Biophysics. When it came time to transfer, I got as involved as I could on how and when I was supposed to receive the financial aid so that I could go get an apartment and everything, and my school kept telling me, "you should get it tomorrow" until about 2 weeks into my first quarter when I finally got the support.

Despite this rocky start, I managed to get into a good shape for myself, making my way slowly but surely through school. Learning a great deal. Eventually when I felt the struggle was too difficult, I changed my major to Neuroscience before I began my upper division coursework.

So, as I settled into my schooling and struggled with maintaining financial independence on financial aid, I managed to get myself into maintaining a great aquarium hobby, owned two great little kittens from a street cat program, led as president of a student organization for one year, and eventually I got married. I also carefully learned about the stock market and managed to make some great gains with money that I had invested from financial aid savings.

In 2010, my gains were over 100%. That amounted to $2000 doubling itself, but still, that says a lot about me as a trader. However, 6 months into my marriage, she said she wanted out, grabbed the car that we both paid into (most of the money was mine from stocks; $5500 worth), and refused to pay her share of 2 months rent. That happened in December of the year of 2010.

2011 was a difficult year for me. I fought hard to maintain things, especially my head, but it was tough. I lost 45 lbs from exercising regularly, made lots of new friends, and I got some volunteer work experience in a Neuroscience lab. But I just couldn't focus well enough to maintain my finances and my grades, so I had to drop out and live back with my parents.

Despite how tough it's been, not finding work, struggling with the ins and outs of the VA, and just needing a professional therapist to talk to and help me keep my head straight but never being able to get one, I've managed to recuperate well enough and learn a lot more about this bottom floor of society that I've been so desperately trying to escape my whole life.

I've gone looking for opportunity in every direction. I've tried changing my career goals, collecting recyclables, writing online, trying any online scheme that didn't include me forking out money to get it, imagining what I could write as a novel, tried to make money through playing video games, making goal after goal after goal for myself, but still just not being able to get just the right amount of money to put me back on my feet.

I'll be going back to school in April at the risk of having to do it as a homeless person if the VA doesn't pull through for me. They recently approved my 10% service connected disability status and now I need to jump over a few more hurdles to get my more significant service connected disabilities recognized. I'm also seeing what the vocational rehab people can do for me despite the bureaucratic issues that are stopping them from helping me all the way.

BTW, this whole time that I've gone through life with common lower class difficulties, I've been disabled with a number of small conditions that all add up to a hard time. I have lower back issues that the military has yet to own up to. Community college found also that I have a learning disability which makes some intellectual tasks show up as lower than average ability for me while the rest of my intellect is high enough to expect that I could easily get a Masters Degree or a PhD. My biggest difficulty in school is that they don't give me enough time to show them what I know or what I'm capable of.

From working with special needs students as a tutor, I have proven to myself that there is a major problem in the education system. Most teachers never simplify the material into a clear picture of what they want to teach. If you want someone to learn something, the last thing you should be fuzzy on is what it is exactly that you want them to learn. We can't all work like intuitive Jedi or sophisticated parrots.

If you help me out, here is a list of the priorities of what your money will go towards, in order of their priority If you would like to request that I spend your donation on a specific cause, please let me know:

1. A working cheap economic vehicle.
I need something that I can sleep in and that will take me wherever I need to go. Preferably something that can stow quite a few recyclables as well to pay for gas, but not an SUV or truck or van (Unless that's all that is cheap of course. Not likely but you never know.).
I'll aim for great gas mileage, but I'm thinking that I should attend some police car auctions to see what the cheapest deal I can find is. This car would make a great shelter for me while I return to my far away school.

2. Investing on the stock market.
Trust me, I know how to fish. If you want to send me a request for proof I'd be glad to compose some evidence of my finest moments as well as my worst to show you that I can do well for myself on the stock market, even during the recession. What I could really use right now, is a little bait. Trading is good money for me, but to make enough to make gains worth more than the commission cost (about $10), you need about $300-1000 per investment. $300 is more for the high risk lottery plays on the market. I even made a blog about it if you would like to see:
http://www.squidoo.com/TheYoungidealistEconomyBlog
If you are willing, we can arrange something personal so that you wont need to worry about me putting the money you offer at high risk and blow it all. Might even be able to arrange something where I could make money for you to prove myself before accepting your donation. Whatever the case, I know we'd have to make it a personal arrangement to satisfy the current laws.

3. Working towards paying my debts to my friends.
My friends have been really supportive through these hard times, though they are starving students themselves. To keep up my morale they've bought me food, given me a place to crash when they could, and even paid to have me join them at fun local events. I have some money that I've promised them back, and I plan on making due on those promises as soon as possible.

4. Paying off my debts with companies.
I've had times where I couldn't afford to pay for rent and had to leave, like when my wife left me to live with her parents. These issues follow me on my credit score and I would like to work towards removing them so that I can turn my life around.

5. Getting a good start towards paying off my student loans.
I know I won't be able to pay them off before I find a good career with my degree. I would just like to have something to start making some automatic payments with and put that part of my bad credit score behind me as well.

6. Buying a home.
My mom never owned a home. No offense meant to land lords out there, but I really think the rental system is way out of line. My mom was always a hard worker. Way better than me, yet she could never own a home because she didn't have the money. Meanwhile, people with money could live in great big houses for less than she even had to pay.
I want a house to own. Probably start with a condo and seek ways to improve it and flip a profit out of it. Then I want to keep building up money from housing until I can manage to build an apartment building.
If I could, I'd like to make an apartment building near a university that offers cheap housing using the Japanese capsule model or something even more economic and more comfortable.

7. Making an online tutoring site meant to offer free tutoring and tutoring for tips. Imagine a site (I have yet to know of one) where people can collect their resources on a class, much like they collect info on ratemyprofessor.com, but also seek help from others who are taking the class or who have taken the class. Donors like you can offer money to tutors who post their notes and stories on the site, alongside ratings from other students that they helped.
Some tutors can offer their rates for help, sell their notes online for cheap, or just offer their help whenever they can and ask to be tipped through paypal if someone likes their work. My hope is that such a site could help to put an end to sophistry in the college system once and for all, making education easy and affordable for everyone.

8. After I have everything I'm hoping for above, the sky is the limit. But I would prefer to put the extra money that I don't need to good uses. I would spread a little philanthropy around, give to others in need on this site and through other resources.
I'd also look to teach others how to fish. I think a great way for the economy to be fixed would be if philanthropists made some really good employee owned companies. Make the place pay for itself, skim a little off the top, and walk away knowing that you really were a job creator.
I think that everyone who is capable of work and who chooses to work deserves to have their own independent living situation. I know that we are a long way from that, but I tend to be an optimist. I would like to try and make the world a better place, if nothing else.

Aside form financial help, I'm interested in anything else that I could get that's useful. Advice, Neuroscience Career connections, work, hobby or volunteer work that can easily become lucrative, I'm really all ears. Thanks again for taking the time to read my request. I hope you find it in you to help me out, even get to know me if you'd like. Bet you $5000 I can make you laugh. Did I win? >;) it was worth a try anyway.

I need a Game ready recovery system. Its a devise that helps to heal my wounds from surgery quicker so I can get back to work and support my family Its 5000. I know its a lot and I need your help to get it. It helps keep the swelling down in my legs. I will need it for a year or two. Then I will donate it to my local therapist who can use it to help others.
Thank you and GOD BLESS. I need to get back to work and heal quickly to save my family.

HI, I'm a married mum of two, and our family is going through a tough patch. My daughter has a rare neurological condition called Sturge Weber syndrome, which consists of a large Port Wine Birthmark covering two thirds of her face, scalp, and chest, learning difficulties, speech delay, potentially glaucoma in the future. Thankfully she has never had a full seizure that so many SWS children have daily. She started school this year, and we were successful in applying for a Support Teacher and Language Therapist to help her so she could attend mainstream school. When I say successful, I mean we fought all the way !!! This extra teaching she receives means she gets a lot of homework to keep up with the rest of the class, so I went part time at work, so I could pick her up from school, at spend the time concentrating on her homework, etc. so this had a significant effect on our finances. But my husbands business was doing Ok. He and another partner run a small metal work business, just the two of them. However, since October 2011, the work for them has dried up, and there has been several months where they've not had enough business to take home any pay. We also have to take out daughter to a hospital 300 miles away for her laser surgery for the Port Wine Birthmark. The surgery is to lighten the birthmark as much as possible. So far we have seen some good results but she still has some way to go. Unfortunately, these hospital trips cost us quite a bit, by the time we pay for the fuel, overnight stay in hotel and food, etc. If any can spare any amount of cash to help us through this incredibly tough period, I would be so grateful.
Thanks for taking time to read this post.
regards

I am a daughter of a burn victim. My mom got burned when she was only 15 years old. She is not able to bend her knees since then. She can walk but it is awkward and is hard for her now due to she is a little old and whenever she rides the public transport its hard for her to take a seat or stand-up afterwards since she cannot bend her knees. I can't afford to take her to a therapist since my wages is enough to pay the bills and feed us each day.I hope you can help me.

First of all thank you for taking the time to read this.
I am a single mum to a 3 year old boy. We live miles away from any friends or family and get very lonely.
I try to pay my bills , buy food but there is never anything left.
I would love to be able to support my son and give him things in life that he deserves.
I know I can do this by starting my own business. I am trying to raise funds to study a beauty therapy course. Once quailifed I will be able to start my business as a mobile therapist. I will no longer have to be skint and feed my son toast for dinner.
I know I can do this I just need that step on the ladder.
Please, please, please help me.
Thank you in advance for your kind donations.

I need help with fund to start my business,that is for a hair/beauty/spa salon.I have locate shop and have done an research of the area,as i am trying to business plan report.
I am a single mom,one child,work part-time but unable to accumulate enough capital to start my business.This achievement will help me provide a better standard of living for me and child.I am a talented hairdresser and beauty/spa therapist.

I am a 26 year old college student in desperate need of funds to finish my degree. I am in a program to become a certified occupational therapist assistant and it is very expensive. I am single with no children yet. I got engaged two years ago to the love of my life and we cant afford to get married. Neither of us come from families with any kind of money so if we want it, we have to pay for it on our own. Its been very rough this past couple of years with being out of work, bouncing around from house to house just renting a room, losing my car, losing my dad to liver disease. I am trying to get back on my feet and the amount of loans I have already taken out for my AA is close to 18,000. I just want to be out of debt and not have to stress out about getting kicked out of school. Please help me. I dont know what else to do. Ive dug myself into a whole so deep of debt it will take a miracle to get me out.

September 2011: Had a nearly fatal motorcycle accident on Lucent Blvd. in Denver. The events leading up to the accident I am unclear of, all I remember is waking up underneith a car and couldnt move. I remember the ambulance showing up to extricate me. Apparently I had a shattered pelvis and a broken humorus. I also sustained another concussion. I never was a big fan of the helmet, in fact very rarely did I wear one. I just happened by chance to decide to wear one that day, if I hadnt I'd be dead. It used to be that I struggled to survive, now I struggle to exist. This account is by my wife:

On September 28th, 2011
My husband Trevan had an accident on is his way to an Interview and he was going on Lucent to get on to the highway on C470 and was not able to see with the dew on the street and sun glare. He didn’t see the car at the stoplights, going on to C470. Didn’t know or see that it was stopped at the light. The sun was so bad that he slammed right into the person in front of him and went over the handlebars of the motorcycle and over the person’s car and was found underneath the car. The Paramedics found him under the person’s car and had to pull him out from under it.

I got a call about 8:15 am from the fire department letting me know that my husband was in an accident. I was so scared I was trying to get my son ready for school and get my daughter ready to so I could take him. I was told that he was taken to Littleton Hospital and that I can call over there and get info on how he is doing. Instead of me calling the ER the ER nurse called me and gave me some info about what they are doing and what ER room they are taking him to. They took some x-rays and he couldn’t be moved because they were not sure about his back. So they did the x-rays in the ER. That is what the nurse told me that they were doing and that he was stable. The nurse also said if I could get to the hospital as soon as I could, it would be a good idea to come since the police and fire department was still there. I told her I would try. I called my mother in law to let her that her son was in an accident and I called my mom. There were other people that I called too. When I got there and I had to park so far in the back of the hospital that I had to ask for directions to get to the ER from the outpatient so I could be there with my husband. When I got there it was very hard to see what he looked like. He had a neck brace on and his left arm was all wrapped up like a present. He had a big gash on the inside of his right leg that was pretty wide and you could see the fat and it kept on bleeding. They would not take off the brace from his neck because they didn’t know what else was going on with him. I met the ER doctors and they told me that he is in quite bit of pain, and that he was starting to not know what happened off and on. I tried to see if he could tell me himself but could not remember. One of the ER doctors was very concerned about the blood in his urine so they took him to another place in the hospital to do some more tests on him. My mom in the mean time called me and told me that she was on her way to be at the hospital with me for support, I told her that I really need some comfort and to keep it together. When she got here Trevan was not yet taken to get tested yet so my mom said hi to him and ask him questions. Then with the ER nurses came in to take him for the tests my mom ask the nurse what kind of test that they were going to do on him and they said it is to check for internal bleeding. When Trevan was taken back we went to sit in the waiting room in the ER. My mom kept asking me questions but I could not answer any of them, because I have not been told about any thing besides what the nurse told me on the phone before I got there. I ask the nurses that were still around they’re about where his belonging were because I needed to know if his wallet and other things like ring and glasses was there. They handed me the beg that had his wallet and other things that they took off of him. I took the beg with me so I could go through it and see if every thing was still with him. His wedding band was in there his wallet was in there and socks and helmet was there too so I took it with me out to the waiting room. There was also a ticket that the police left in it too. My mom took a look at it to find out what all happened. It just said it was his fault but we didn’t think it was his fault, but later on we did fine out it was his fault but we took care of it for him while he was in the hospital. While we were waiting Trevan’s mom came with my daughter to see him but he was still not back in the Trauma room. After a while they finally moved him to a room so we all went there. They took him to the ICU and we had to keep our hands clean at all times coming and going. Trevan was put on many powerful pain medicines for the pain. He was put on dilaudid and he was on that for a while but then he was inching so bad that they took him off of that and put him on morphine he was a little better but still was itching like crazy.

Doug and Jan drove out here on Wednesday night they didn’t stop except for brakes and gas but they drove all the way through so could see Trevan. They arrived at the hospital at 3:30 am. Trevan didn’t remember that his dad and step mom came to see him the first night. I told him twice that they were here and he just didn’t remember it. Every one came to see Trevan everyday Doug and J, Karen and John Hager, Kehli, his mom Beverly. Doug and Jan were here for four days and they were here also for the surgery. We had a lot of people in the waiting room Beverly and our kids, me, and Doug and Jan. I was happy that I had that many people there with me because I was very upset.

October 1st 2011
Trevan had his surgery on both the pelvis and the humerus bone. The doctor started with his pelvis first he said it was the quick one and that Trevan didn’t loose much blood with that one. Then the doctor moved Trevan to another table to do the other part of the surgery. He lost a little bit of blood when they did his surgery on the arm they had to give him two pints of blood. The doctor did come out to tell us the update as he did them and how everything was going. He showed us before and after x-rays. The doctor did a great job of fixing Trevan up. Then after the surgery was done he was in recovery room for about an hour and a half. They moved Trevan to his room afterwards and he still was not doing hot. He kept saying that the room was moving and it made him sick. He tried to keep his eyes closed but it made him even feel worse. He also kept asking for ice chips which I feed to him as much as I could. He was better by the evening, he didn’t feel dizzy any more. Family kept coming to see him and tell him that they love him and pray that he will heal quickly. I stayed with him every night after the surgery to keep an eye on how he was doing. He didn’t remember a lot of things, which in some ways it is good but in some ways it is bad. I think a lot of it had to do with the pain medicine that the doctors was giving him. A nurse told me that it could happen with the medicine could make you forgetful depending on what kind of pain medicine.

October 4th 2011
While Trevan was at the hospital he did fall. He hit his head agents the closet that was in his room. The nurses found him on the floor. They did say that when he fell he landed on his right side and that they don’t think he hurt him self, but he did hit his head when he went down. I asked them if they were going to see if he did any damage, and they said that he didn’t and couldn’t do that much damage because the way he fell. I asked them if he hurt any thing else and the nurse they checked him over and asked him questions and didn’t see any evidence that he had any more damage to what he already had. I asked to if they did any test to see. They said they didn’t do any other tests on him because they didn’t want him to be exposed to any more radiation from the x-ray machine. He was getting out of bed by his self with out any help, which he was not supposed to do that. That is why when he fell they put a bed alarm on his bed so they would know at all times that he gets up, for his safety.

October 5th 2011
During that time while he was a Littleton hospital they were trying to find a rehab place for him so he can start getting back on his feet. They did find one and they had him transferred from Littleton to Porter hospital. Before he left I told him that I would see him later that evening and so will his mom and kids. He said ok and they he was gone. That evening Beverly and the rest of us call daddy from his mom’s phone to let him know that we are coming to see him but we were going to stop and get something to eat on the way up to the hospital. Then while we were eating at Wendy’s he calls me on my cell phone and asks if we were still coming I told him yes. I asked him did you even remember that we called you before and told you that we were coming he said no he didn’t remember. While he was on the phone with me still we asked him if he wanted us to bring something for him. He said yes. We brought him a hamburger and a frosty. When we got to the Porter hospital and got to his room we noticed it was very small and odd shaped. He had a window but in the wrong place or the room was just in the worst place. It looked like a bad shaped L and had no flow to it. I asked Trevan on how he was doing and he said tired and in pain. I said you just been through a lot and it will take a while to heal. Then we gave him is food and let him eat while we also talked to the nurses that were taking care of him there. We also ask that if there was a way for a cot to be put in there so I could stay with him some of the times. They said yes that they will get one in the room the next time I come up to see him. I said thanks. They also had a bed alarm on his bed and his wheel chair that he was using. I am happy that they had that on there but the moment that he got up to use the urinal that the alarm went off. And he didn’t feel comfortable with them always coming in and him not able to potty when he wanted too. When he is in the bed but keep it on when he is in the wheel chair because he could not remember to lock his brakes before he transferred form the wheel >chair to bed or just getting up to stand.

October 6th 2011
Trevan calls him mom to get my number to be able to call me. He talked to her for a while and he also asked if we were coming to see him, and also asked if we knew where he was. His mom said yes she knew and asked him if he remembered that we were the other night. He said no and also said that we weren’t there to see him. Which we were there but he just didn’t remember that we were all there his son and daughter me and his mom. He forgot the entire evening and event that we even were there to see him the night before. His mom said to him that we were all coming to see you again tonight so we will see you later. The same day I went to take our van to get the oil changed in it and found out that there was a clucking sound and they told me that it was not safe for me to keep driving it. They said about a week or two would be all I should drive it. I called my dad and asked if he knew any one that I could take my van to get an idea on how much it would cast to get it fixed. This was all the same day that I was going to see Trevan at the hospital. They didn’t want me to drive it anymore until it was fixed. So Beverly had to take me back and forth to and from the hospital for a while. After Beverly got off work we all got in to the car and drove up to the hospital. We asked the nurses if there was any way for Trevan to watch movies other than watching TV all the time. They said yes and told us there is a TV, VCR that is on a cart that can go into their room to watch movies and only VHS tapes only no DVD’S. So mom went into the lunchroom and looked at all the movies and wrote down all the ones that Trevan would be interested in watching. After she was done she brought the list to Trevan to see and to know that he had choices. Then we went home and told Trevan that we will see him later the next day. Then said our good-byes.

October 7th 2011
There was a lot of thing going on this day that I don’t want to go through again. I had to take my van to a place that my sister in law told me about. I made my appointment with them the day before and they wanted me to bring it back today and get it fixed. They even said that it was not safe at all. I left it with them to fix it in the morning. Then I came back home and had more things to do. I had to run around back and forth using my mother in laws car which was ok she was taking care of my daughter and my niece so I got thing done and I was able to relax a little bit. We all went to see Trevan that evening. We had to go and pick up my van after we picked up dinner. Then we left to see Trevan. When we got there into Trevan’s room he looked really tired and in a bit of pain. We got an extra hamburger so we gave it to him so he could eat it. Of course he at it all up. I changed the channel and found shreck the movie and we all watched that with Trevan. The nurse cam in to see how he was doing. He said that he needed more pain medicine, also needed to have his depends changed. The kids and grandma left outside the room while he was getting changed. After he got settled again the kids came back in and they were getting rowdy so I ask Beverly to take the kids home. They gave their daddy a kiss and left. That night I stayed with him and he kept on asking if the nurse had given him his pain medicine. I told him yes that they did give you your medicine. I asked him if even remembered it and he said no. He asked me 4 other times to while I was there. When it was time for him to have another dose of medicine I said to use the call button that is what it is there for instead of me always running in and out of his room to let the nurses know that he needed more medicine. I stayed with him all night it was very hard for me to hear. When Trevan would fall to sleep he would start dreaming and breathing heavy then wake up crying and then fell back to sleep. It would go on about 5 times at night. I think it was nightmares and when he wakes up he would not remember any of it.

October 8th 2011
The nurses were coming into see how Trevan was doing. He had his breakfast and pain medicine. After breakfast the therapist came in to take him to do some therapy stuff. He worked on the ramp with wheel chair going up and down with keeping control with his feet. The first round was 35 minutes. Then comes back and rests for a half-hour and goes again for 30 minutes. Then he came back and rested and had lunch. Then he went with another therapist and goes and has a shower, but after a while he came back. The nurses told me when they came back with Trevan that the cut on the inside of the right leg came open while they were helping him with his shower. He lost a little bit of blood but it hurt him quite a bit. So two nurses came back. One was pushing him and the other on putting pressure on the wound. When he was back in the room he looked like a ghost, and looked very tired. Then his nurse came in to put a different kind of bandage on his leg. By the end of the day he had color back in his face and was doing better. That day and evening he didn’t know that I was staying with him. I was with him at the hospital since Friday night, to Sunday evening. I will be going home on Sunday night.

October 9th 2011
The nurses and doctors decided not to have therapy because Trevan gave them a scare. So they just let him rest and let the wound heal some more before he did any more. I watched him sleep and he has the bad dreams again all day, and all night. I woke up every time he had the dreams. I counted how many times he would wake up and go to sleep again. It was hard to hear too. When he did wake up I would ask if he remembered any of it. He would say No. I did let the nurses know what was going on with Trevan and also asked him to keep an eye out and check on him. I also asked them to keep a record of it too. I left the evening so I could take care of my kids the next day. My mother in law had to work and had to keep Sarah with me. I said my good-byes. I asked the nurses to keep me in formed on how he did through the night.

October 10th 2011
Trevan told me that he had therapy and that he was in some pain. He was up in the wheel chair and bed. He was learning how to put socks and underwear, shorts and shirt on by him self with out help and doing it all by with one hand. He did OK is what he said. It is hard for him to remember which arm to do in first. The nurses said try to remember left first than over the head than right arm. Then put your glasses on so you can see. He said he would try to remember. Then I went home. He also saw the doctor and asked for Ibuprofen.

October 11th 2011
I got to the hospital to see Trevan about 7ish. He looked tire but also happy to see me. He said to me when I can in “I was wondering when you were going to be here” I said I had to take care of the kids first. In the morning he did therapy then he has lunch and after he had lunch he did some more activities he had u ride outside and played scrabble to get his mind working on thinking. That is what he did during the day when I was not there to see him during the day Trevan had therapy and looked somewhat tired when I got there, he was also in his wheel chair. He ate all the tacos that his mom got for him. After we got done eating he was in a lot of pain. He asked for more pain medicine and he could not get any more ibuprofen. So they gave him percocet for the pain. All we did while I was there with him we talked and watched TV together. Was late when I left to go home and care for my kids.

October 12th 2011
I went to see Trevan about 7ish again. He did a lot of thing in the morning it was all written down so I knew what he did. Which he was to do every day for his memory issues that he has. He had breakfast then he had PT. He did exercises with his legs. ST. tested him it scored 20 out of 25 on the cognitive tests. Then he did some transferring using one leg, 2-½ lbs. on the other leg (right leg all weight and partial weight on the left.) After lunch he did the walker, wheel chair, shower, teeth and hair. All of this info that I keep getting is what he writes down for his memory reminder. I took a look at him and asked him how he is doing, He said he is in a bit of pain. A lot of pain was mainly in the arm. He asked for some pain medicine and he started to fall to sleep. So I told him that I would head home and take care of the kids. He said to tell them that he loves them. I said ok.

October 13th 2011
Just reading his report that he wrote. He did getting in to his wheel chair to go to the toilet, Independence Square and weight. That was his activities during the day and he also had another stitch pop and his leg started bleeding again. That is what he told me. It is covered with gaze. I was happy that they did put that on there to protect it better. He has been sleeping better. They aren’t using the walker with the plate form because of his bad left arm. He is balancing so much better on his right leg which I am very proud of him. I noticed while I was there he didn’t remember that he had his pain medicine which they did give it to him. But they could not give him any more until 9:15 PM. And it was about 8:20 PM when he asked for more pain medicine.

October 14th 2011
Trevan woke up around 5:45 am having pain in his arm and needed to be changed. Found out that Dr. Bess has not released him from putting more weight on his left leg. It will be 30% weight for a while. At a little bit after 9 this morning went for a wheel chair walk. He sat in the wheel chair and used his right foot to move him forward and his right hand also help him to move forward in the direction that he needs to go. He went around the hallway twice. Then after he did that he came back to his room, so after that another person came in and took him down to the shower. Both of us were in the shower room with the nurse getting him ready and helping him stand only on one leg. He could not put much weight on the left leg. After every thing was off the therapist helped him sit on the shower/ tub chair. We both helped him get cleaned up, but we made sure he did most of the cleaning up. He did well at listening to me and stayed seated until we needed him to stand to pull up his pants. He only used his right leg to stand on and his right arm to pull up. I told him if he comes home he is going to have to listen and wait until I can come and help him. I didn’t want him to fall again and end up in the hospital again. After the shower we went back to his room to rest for a few minutes. Then he went to do more moving therapy. He did hopping on the right leg and using the parallel bars with the right arm to and from the wheel chair. Then he did some bumping up and down on the stairs. They would not do any more of them for a while because it tired him out so much. We did not know when he would be able to come home yet. We were going to have someone come by to take a look at the house and see if he can come home. Right now it is set for wed. But it is not set in stone. I am planning to stay the night again and leave about 8:15 am to watch my daughter. Then I will be back to stay with him again that evening.

October 15th 2011
This is what Trevan did for the day, leg/ hip exercises, control wheelchair up and down ramp. ST- did memory strategies, put a picture with info, and writing down notes. OT- watched him do his brushing his teeth, getting dressed, independence square (cashier, shop, and sandwich) memory. That is what he did and also found out he has a urine infection. He slept a little bit, was up having to go to the potty all night, had to remind him mot to put any weight on his left leg. He said that he was not but I doubt it. I was watching him. After he was done he was always putting weight on the left leg every time he pushed his butt back in the bed. I am very worried about that. I did tell the nurses to keep an eye on him that he was having issues with him having to pee all the time. Since he had the infection. They said that they would keep watch and see how he does through the night.

October 16th 2011
Trevan had a bad day at remembering this day. I just don’t remember what he forgot because I was also very tired this day also.

October 17th 2011
We brought Trevan home to do the home inspection so we could find out what we all needed to do and what to get for the house, so Trevan can come home. We didn’t want him to get injured any more than what he is now. When we got to the house the two nurses had to lift him and the wheel chair up the stairs since we didn’t have the ramp up quite yet. We did tell them it would be up once we know what day we could get help. While Trevan was still sitting in the wheel chair he had to use the restroom. He did try to get in the restroom which he did do just fine, but when he was ready to get back out and into the wheel chair he almost fell in to the wheel. So they deiced not to have him use the small bathroom.

I need help to go to school to obtain a license as a Massage Therapist. I have always been in demand as a masseuse, everyone always wants a back rub. I want to be able to charge I can make (I've been told) as much as 120.00 an hour. This is my chance to become self-sufficient. I've been on disability for so long, I just want off. I need to go to school in order to obtain my license, It is going to cost me about 15000 before July 20 In order to go to school.

I am 23 year old single mom with two little girls, 2 and 3. before i became a mom i was going to school to further my education, but now i just can affors to pay for day care, bills, and school. I am working as a waitress right now but i want to go back to school to become a physical therapist. Any help that you can give would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this!

My wife and I are struggling to open our home to at risk kids. We wanted to buy a small, working farm to help children with Developmental disabilities transition to helping themselves by hands on therapy and life skills.... Unfortuantely, our government, The United States, doesn't see a purpose or need for such a place and keeps denying grants and help... My wife is an occcupational therapist and I am a certified chef. We opened our home to an at risk young woman last year and have been rewarded with the leaps and bouds she has made developmentally... We want to help others with thier special needs, but cannot do it on our own. If you have it in your hearts, please donate what you can... You'd be amazed what an extra $5.00 could do..

Thank You so very much for reading this post, and God bless you and your family!

It's a life changing experience when you have to put your school plans on hold. I had to do that to care for my my mother who was terminally-ill at the time. I had been left with a lot of debt that my job as a nursing assistant couldnt handle. I want to go back to school to finish up my studies as a massage therapist.I am struggling to pay my bills every month because it's one setback after another. I know that people who come asking here and for help ask for the most ridiculous of things and nothing that is actually logical. Paying bills and wanting to finish school is legitimate and that's something I would rather show people for them to see I am a responsible person. I owe the school I am taking my massage studies at money to cover a previous semester and I have to pay that in order to be able to finish. I was offered money by my grandmother to finish school, but I won't accept money from someone who's an abusive person and uses this to control people. I would rather ask here because there's kind people in the world who know when someone is truly trying to get their life back on track. I think about my dream of finishing school and being able to get back on my feet again. If I had a little something I would give it to someone who truly needed it. I help those who are truly trying to get their lives back on track. Whatever people can help me with will be appreciated a few dollars here and there will help me out. God Bless and Thank You.

I am a single mother of three children and I work very, very hard as a registered respiratory therapist. I have always given my last dime to anyone and I have a huge heart. My husband left us with no money, and a huge amount of debt. They have reposessed my car from my employment, forclosed on my house and now they are garnishing my wages. I have been working two jobs, gotten a used car, 2 bedroom apartment for my kids, yay. It is an accomplishment, but I still can't even put food on the table. Their dad has left the state and remarried, left us for good. I have tried United Way, Catholic charities, churches and I am out of ideas. No luck. DHS and my children's school said I make too much money to get reduced lunches or food stamps. I am desperate to put food on my table and sleep with heat. I am at my breaking point. I live in Tennessee and have very little family here and they are not able to help themselves. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and God bless.

My family has had a ruff couple of years!!..in September 2008 a tree fell on
our rental house and we lost everything all while my wife was 6 months
pregnant two years later while still rebuilding our lives we lost our second
house to fire. our debt has gotten out of control , my wife is a chemical
dependancy therapist with the student loans to prove it and i have now lost

my job...we are now afraid to answer our phones due to being behind on
everything......i just want to get our lives back to normal and would also
like for my family to have real furniture instead of air mattress ...any
help from anyone would be a blessing.....i have always been the problem
solver of my family and now i have run out of answers and have no one to
turn to....our savings is long gone and we cant pay our rent any longer while paying other monthly bills and buying food

My family has had a ruff couple of years!!..in September 2008 a tree fell on
our rental house and we lost everything all while my wife was 6 months
pregnant two years later while still rebuilding our lives we lost our second
house to fire. our debt has gotten out of control , my wife is a chemical
dependancy therapist with the student loans to prove it and i have now lost

my job...we are now afraid to answer our phones due to being behind on
everything......i just want to get our lives back to normal and would also
like for my family to have real furniture instead of air mattress ...any
help from anyone would be a blessing.....i have always been the problem
solver of my family and now i have run out of answers and have no one to
turn to....our savings is long gone and we cant pay rent any longer

I can’t believe my life has come to this. First and foremost, it is important to know that I am a hardworking, responsible individual. I love going to work every day as a child and family therapist knowing that I have the ability to help make positive changes in others’ lives. I also, for whatever reason, feel very uncomfortable asking for help. I don’t think I have ever asked anyone for financial help in my life, let alone a “donation”. I was always taught that if you want something…. YOU WORK FOR IT! I have had a job since I was 13 yrs old and it taught me to appreciate the value of the dollar and hard work. But what happens when you physically can’t? My values speak to who I was, who I am and who I want to be and why I am worthy of your help.
• Be respectful, giving, loving and kind to others.
• Treat others as you would want to be treated.
• First and foremost dedication to my family and friends
• If you want something, you have to work for it because nothing in life is free
• Work hard and you can achieve anything you set your mind to
• If you believe in something, be passionate about it
• Love what you do for work – Life is too short
• Do not be selfish, but selfless – be there or give to others as much as you can
Resilient for many years –struggling through a childhood of undiagnosed ADHD - low self esteem, disruptive and impulsive behaviors, poor attention, disorganization, ambivalence about making life decisions, flunking out of college my freshman yr at 18 yo (which led to me having to pay any subsequent schooling on my own), moving and attending a new school at the beginning of my 8th grade year with a scoliosis brace that had to be worn 23 hours a day, having major surgery at 14 yo and missing 3 months of my freshman yr. As an adult, moving from NJ to Ma away from my family who I was extremely close to due to a marriage that didn’t work, losing my father to cancer and watching him waste away in front of me and feeling helpless. I did return to school as an adult committed to helping others and figuring out my own insecurities. Over 7 yrs (25-32 yrs old) received my bachelors degree from Rutgers University with high honors and my masters in clinical social work from Columbia University also with honors.
I know what I am capable of and I know how much I have to give to others. But at this point in my life, I also need to be honest with myself about my physical limitations.
When I was 12 yo I was diagnosed with a severe case of scoliosis and had to wear a body brace for 1 ½ yrs. Bad timing, I guess… I had just moved and was starting my 8th grade yr in a new school. Two yrs later (1983) I had major reconstructive surgery (14 hours, in a body cast 6 mos, couldn’t ride in a car or sit for more than 15 mins a day for 3 mos) and my spine was fused from T3 to L4 – all at 14 yo! Over the years, my back problems were just “part of my life”. Now at 43 I am disabled and in need of another major surgery due to collapsed discs that are compressing the nerves in my lower back. The pain I endure is affecting my ability to sit, stand or walk to any period of time. I had to leave my last job as an outpatient therapist a couple of years ago due to my inability to commit to a schedule because of my pain. I have been taking pain pills, which I do not want to become addicted to and have worked out an arrangement with a caring chiropractor. Not to mention at work I have kids, teens and their families who depend on me to help them, some of who I don’t charge because they can’t afford it. So, my schedule is minimal, my bills are racking up and I continue to try to help people sometimes at my own expense (physical). I have no health insurance because I can’t afford it, I live in a 800 square foot apartment that I share and I drive a 1998 Nissan Maxima that has over 200,000 miles on it! I don’t have “things” because I don’t NEED material things. It kills me to ask for help, especially monetary. It’s hard for me to accept help but I have no problem giving, lending or helping other people. My friends say that I give “too much”, but I feel that if I have it to give or I can do something to help someone else be happier, less stressed or more comfortable than I will. And I’ve been taken advantage of many times because of this – for example, 3 yrs ago, I lent a co-worker $5000 to assure that as a single mother she would have a dependable car for her and her 3 kids. She has not paid me anything yet. Gave another friend my car for 2 weeks to use because her car was in the shop and she couldn’t afford a rental. It was definitely an inconvenience, having to walk to and from work a mile, having to way to run errands until the weekend, etc. But I did it because I knew how much it meant to her and how much it helped. I then find myself thinking … who will be my angel when I need one?? And I do…. Please, please help!! I don’t have a choice right now. I need surgery, physical therapy/personal training in order to continue working for others. Thank you so much for any contribution you can make! God Bless!
College Loans: $60,000
Surgery: $250,000
Credit card debt $40,000 over last 8 yrs to support me at times when couldn’t work
Physical Therapy $2,000
Bills 3 mos $5,000 during recovery time

Wow… that’s hard to see… : ( Feel like I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown!! Please be my angel

I can’t believe my life has come to this. First and foremost, it is important to know that I am a hardworking, responsible individual. I love going to work every day as a child and family therapist knowing that I have the ability to help make positive changes in others’ lives. I also, for whatever reason, feel very uncomfortable asking for help. I don’t think I have ever asked anyone for financial help in my life, let alone a “donation”. I was always taught that if you want something…. YOU WORK FOR IT! I have had a job since I was 13 yrs old and it taught me to appreciate the value of the dollar and hard work. But what happens when you physically can’t? My values speak to who I was, who I am and who I want to be and why I am worthy of your help.
Be respectful, giving, loving and kind to others.
Treat others as you would want to be treated.
First and foremost dedication to my family and friends
If you want something, you have to work for it because nothing in life is free
Work hard and you can achieve anything you set your mind to
If you believe in something, be passionate about it
Love what you do for work – Life is too short
Do not be selfish, but selfless – be there or give to others as much as you can
Resilient for many years –struggling through a childhood of undiagnosed ADHD - low self esteem, disruptive and impulsive behaviors, poor attention, disorganization, ambivalence about making life decisions, flunking out of college my freshman yr at 18 yo (which led to me having to pay any subsequent schooling on my own), moving and attending a new school at the beginning of my 8th grade year with a scoliosis brace that had to be worn 23 hours a day, having major surgery at 14 yo and missing 3 months of my freshman yr. As an adult, moving from NJ to Ma away from my family who I was extremely close to due to a marriage that didn’t work, losing my father to cancer and watching him waste away in front of me and feeling helpless. I did return to school as an adult committed to helping others and figuring out my own insecurities. Over 7 yrs (25-32 yrs old) received my bachelors degree from Rutgers University with high honors and my masters in clinical social work from Columbia University also with honors.
I know what I am capable of and I know how much I have to give to others. But at this point in my life, I also need to be honest with myself about my physical limitations.
When I was 12 yo I was diagnosed with a severe case of scoliosis and had to wear a body brace for 1 ½ yrs. Bad timing, I guess… I had just moved and was starting my 8th grade yr in a new school. Two yrs later (1983) I had major reconstructive surgery (14 hours, in a body cast 6 mos, couldn’t ride in a car or sit for more than 15 mins a day for 3 mos) and my spine was fused from T3 to L4 – all at 14 yo! Over the years, my back problems were just “part of my life”. Now at 43 I am disabled and in need of another major surgery due to collapsed discs that are compressing the nerves in my lower back. The pain I endure is affecting my ability to sit, stand or walk to any period of time. I had to leave my last job as an outpatient therapist a couple of years ago due to my inability to commit to a schedule because of my pain. I have been taking pain pills, which I do not want to become addicted to and have worked out an arrangement with a caring chiropractor. Not to mention at work I have kids, teens and their families who depend on me to help them, some of who I don’t charge because they can’t afford it. So, my schedule is minimal, my bills are racking up and I continue to try to help people sometimes at my own expense (physical). I have no health insurance because I can’t afford it, I live in a 800 square foot apartment that I share and I drive a 1998 Nissan Maxima that has over 200,000 miles on it! I don’t have “things” because I don’t NEED material things. It kills me to ask for help, especially monetary. It’s hard for me to accept help but I have no problem giving, lending or helping other people. My friends say that I give “too much”, but I feel that if I have it to give or I can do something to help someone else be happier, less stressed or more comfortable than I will. And I’ve been taken advantage of many times because of this – for example, 3 yrs ago, I lent a co-worker $5000 to assure that as a single mother she would have a dependable car for her and her 3 kids. She has not paid me anything yet. Gave another friend my car for 2 weeks to use because her car was in the shop and she couldn’t afford a rental. It was definitely an inconvenience, having to walk to and from work a mile, having to way to run errands until the weekend, etc. But I did it because I knew how much it meant to her and how much it helped. I then find myself thinking … who will be my angel when I need one?? And I do…. Please, please help!! I don’t have a choice right now. I need surgery, physical therapy/personal training in order to continue working for others. Thank you so much for any contribution you can make! God Bless!
College Loans: $60,000
Surgery: $250,000
Credit card debt $40,000 over last 8 yrs to support me at times when couldn’t work
Physical Therapy $2,000
Bills 3 mos $5,000 during recovery time

Wow… that’s hard to see… : ( Feel like I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown!! Please be my angel

I can’t believe my life has come to this. First and foremost, it is important to know that I am a hardworking, responsible individual. I love going to work every day as a child and family therapist knowing that I have the ability to help make positive changes in others’ lives. I also, for whatever reason, feel very uncomfortable asking for help. I don’t think I have ever asked anyone for financial help in my life, let alone a “donation”. I was always taught that if you want something…. YOU WORK FOR IT! I have had a job since I was 13 yrs old and it taught me to appreciate the value of the dollar and hard work. But what happens when you physically can’t? My values speak to who I was, who I am and who I want to be and why I am worthy of your help.
• Be respectful, giving, loving and kind to others.
• Treat others as you would want to be treated.
• First and foremost dedication to my family and friends
• If you want something, you have to work for it because nothing in life is free
• Work hard and you can achieve anything you set your mind to
• If you believe in something, be passionate about it
• Love what you do for work – Life is too short
• Do not be selfish, but selfless – be there or give to others as much as you can
Resilient for many years –struggling through a childhood of undiagnosed ADHD - low self esteem, disruptive and impulsive behaviors, poor attention, disorganization, ambivalence about making life decisions, flunking out of college my freshman yr at 18 yo (which led to me having to pay any subsequent schooling on my own), moving and attending a new school at the beginning of my 8th grade year with a scoliosis brace that had to be worn 23 hours a day, having major surgery at 14 yo and missing 3 months of my freshman yr. As an adult, moving from NJ to Ma away from my family who I was extremely close to due to a marriage that didn’t work, losing my father to cancer and watching him waste away in front of me and feeling helpless. I did return to school as an adult committed to helping others and figuring out my own insecurities. Over 7 yrs (25-32 yrs old) received my bachelors degree from Rutgers University with high honors and my masters in clinical social work from Columbia University also with honors.
I know what I am capable of and I know how much I have to give to others. But at this point in my life, I also need to be honest with myself about my physical limitations.
When I was 12 yo I was diagnosed with a severe case of scoliosis and had to wear a body brace for 1 ½ yrs. Bad timing, I guess… I had just moved and was starting my 8th grade yr in a new school. Two yrs later (1983) I had major reconstructive surgery (14 hours, in a body cast 6 mos, couldn’t ride in a car or sit for more than 15 mins a day for 3 mos) and my spine was fused from T3 to L4 – all at 14 yo! Over the years, my back problems were just “part of my life”. Now at 43 I am disabled and in need of another major surgery due to collapsed discs that are compressing the nerves in my lower back. The pain I endure is affecting my ability to sit, stand or walk to any period of time. I had to leave my last job as an outpatient therapist a couple of years ago due to my inability to commit to a schedule because of my pain. I have been taking pain pills, which I do not want to become addicted to and have worked out an arrangement with a caring chiropractor. Not to mention at work I have kids, teens and their families who depend on me to help them, some of who I don’t charge because they can’t afford it. So, my schedule is minimal, my bills are racking up and I continue to try to help people sometimes at my own expense (physical). I have no health insurance because I can’t afford it, I live in a 800 square foot apartment that I share and I drive a 1998 Nissan Maxima that has over 200,000 miles on it! I don’t have “things” because I don’t NEED material things. It kills me to ask for help, especially monetary. It’s hard for me to accept help but I have no problem giving, lending or helping other people. My friends say that I give “too much”, but I feel that if I have it to give or I can do something to help someone else be happier, less stressed or more comfortable than I will. And I’ve been taken advantage of many times because of this – for example, 3 yrs ago, I lent a co-worker $5000 to assure that as a single mother she would have a dependable car for her and her 3 kids. She has not paid me anything yet. Gave another friend my car for 2 weeks to use because her car was in the shop and she couldn’t afford a rental. It was definitely an inconvenience, having to walk to and from work a mile, having to way to run errands until the weekend, etc. But I did it because I knew how much it meant to her and how much it helped. I then find myself thinking … who will be my angel when I need one?? And I do…. Please, please help!! I don’t have a choice right now. I need surgery, physical therapy/personal training in order to continue working for others. Thank you so much for any contribution you can make! God Bless!
College Loans: $60,000
Surgery: $250,000
Credit card debt $40,000 over last 8 yrs to support me at times when couldn’t work
Physical Therapy $2,000
Bills 3 mos $5,000 during recovery time

Wow… that’s hard to see… : ( Feel like I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown!! Please be my angel

I lost my job in May, and being the sole breadwinner in our family and also the provider of medical insurance, it has been a struggle. My husband just received his license and has been looking for a job as a massage therapist, but the only jobs he can find are over 80 miles away. We only have one vehicle, and he has taken a job that is supposed to start the middle of October. The office he will be working in has to build a room for him, so it isn't ready yet. I have been looking daily for a job that will pay the bills, but have not found anything yet. I was an executive secretary, but lost my job due to budget cuts. I wish there was a job for me - I have received replies from scammers, or people that want me to sell their insurance for minimum wage, but nothing legitimate that will even come close to paying the mortgage or utilities. The most recent scam is a company saying they want to interview me, but only after I pay for a credit report/IQ test/background check/etc. While we try to find work, we have exhausted our savings. I recently applied for unemployment, but it will not be payable for another 2 weeks. Until then, we have no money for utilities, food or the mortgage. I also just applied for the first time in my life for public assistance, but found out that we do not qualify for anything but $72 in food stamps because I will be receiving unemployment. We will only get the food stamps for this month, because after the $392 unemployment payment begins it takes us over the guideline for assistance. So despite my best efforts, I am reduced to asking for help from complete strangers. I do not want to lost my home, and even though it may sound terrible, I would like to keep my credit from going completely into the toilet. To add to it, our roof started leaking from the last storm and the gutters fell off the south side of the house. We do not own a ladder tall enough to get up there and fix it (30'), and the repairman said it would be $2500 to fix the gutters and roof. I have about $8500 in credit card debt, mostly from Home Depot so we could repair our house. The rest is on my Visa because we have been using that to pay the utilities and get food. We do not have enough room on the Visa to pay for the roof repairs. Can someone help in any way at all? It just seems we cannot catch a break, and we are trying so hard. I just am at my wits end and I feel like we are going under. I don't want to lose the house, and I want to find a job.

As I lie here, flat on my back, with the laptop perched on top of me, unable to move. It has been like this for 3 days now, my lower back is in suck agonising pain, the first 2 days was worse, I could not stand up, or walk at all, confined to lying on the floor for 24 hours, and painkillers.

Yesterday I decided to try lying on the sofa, that worked better, the painkillers left me with nausea, diarrhoea, and feeling very sick but at least I had relief from pain for a little while.

The house is in terrible mess, kitchen dishes everywhere, wish I could move around and do my housework, I wish I could sit up and eat, and not have to be bent over on my hands and knees or flat on my back trying to eat.

I wonder what the best thing to do is, do I go to the doctor, or the physiotherapist? How will I get there? How can I pay for it, there is only $2 in my bank account, until my sickness benefit get paid in 3 days time, can I manage to work around to free up some funds for this emergency medical need.

I wrote out a grocery list, 9 items, total cost $49.00; I work out my budget for next week:
Income: Sickness Benefit - $260.00
Outgoings:
Rent $260 can only pay $160
Phone $10.00
Internet $12.00
Power $15.00
Transport $20.00
Therapist $40.00

Total: $257.00

I realised I cannot afford them, will have to ask for food grant if I want to get groceries, I need to find a cheaper place to live, but can’t find anywhere within city Region, have to look further out, to the rural areas for anything under $200 per week.

I also need to find a part time job, but my searches and applications have not been successful so far, no one wants to hire someone with Osteoarthritis, and depression.

All day I search the internet for some idea, some open door somewhere, to start my own business, or find some work for a few hours a week, that would give me a chance to break out of the current situation, to change my life, to make a fresh start.

Lying here unable to do much, my mind starts thinking, thinking and more thinking, I reflect on my life, I take stock of where I am now, how I got here and where I want to be. I am living in a substandard rental home that I cannot afford the rent for, on a sickness benefit, in therapy to deal with 15 years of childhood sexual and physical abuse.

15 years of beatings and torture has left me physically, emotionally and psychologically scarred.

The psychologist is helping me to deal with the emotional and psychological, the painkillers sometimes helps with the pain of the physical, but the scars and injuries are always there.
I don’t want to live in this state, I want to break free, make a new start, but how?

I cannot work as a Computer support analyst or a caterer anymore, because the osteoarthritis diminishes my ability to cope with physical work and movements for long. I have tried finding part time work, just a few hours a week, but there are not many jobs out there, and when I do apply for any, they do not want me.

If only I could get my driver’s licence, a little place I could afford the rent for, and a little car, and retrain, I could get back to work and change my life, get a second chance at a normal life…that is all I ask.

What I need to change my life

Re-training = $4,000.00
Driver Licence = $600.00
Car = $2,000.00
Moving costs $1100.00
Business start = $7,000.00

Total $14700.00

I don’t drink, smoke, or go out, I don’t go to café’s or buy coffees or cans of coke. My only outgoings are the basic necessities of life, one day I would love to be able to do these things, but now my goal is to get to a better place, higher place, out of the gutter that I am in, and start feeling like human again, to feel worthy of life.