Swallow Tags

What do you do when you have no other place to turn? You swallow your pride and post on this site.

Never in a thousand years would I expect to find myself here, but drastic times call for drastic measures.

I find myself in a situation where I need your help to make ends meet.

I had a second job to help pay the bills, but due to my Multiple Sclerosis it became to taxing and I had to quit.

My rent and utilities are now late due to a recent hospitalization that set me back and also the new medications my doctor put me on.

If someone can find it in their heart to help, you don't know how much that would mean to me and I will be sure to Pay It Forward when I'm back on my feet to help other people in my situation.

Thank you so much for reading and hopefully for helping!!

What do you do when you have no other place to turn? You swallow your pride and post on this site.

Never in a thousand years would I expect to find myself here, but drastic times call for drastic measures.

I find myself in a situation where I need your help to make ends meet.

I had a second job to help pay the bills, but due to my Multiple Sclerosis it became to taxing and I had to quit.

My rent and utilities are now late due to a recent hospitalization that set me back and also the new medications my doctor put me on.

If someone can find it in their heart to help, you don't know how much that would mean to me and I will be sure to Pay It Forward when I'm back on my feet to help other people in my situation.

Thank you so much for reading and hopefully for helping!!

What do you do when you have no other place to turn? You swallow your pride and post on this site.

Never in a thousand years would I expect to find myself here, but drastic times call for drastic measures.

I find myself in a situation where I need your help to make ends meet.

I had a second job to help pay the bills, but due to my Multiple Sclerosis it became to taxing and I had to quit.

My rent and utilities are now late due to a recent hospitalization that set me back and also the new medications my doctor put me on.

If someone can find it in their heart to help, you don't know how much that would mean to me and I will be sure to Pay It Forward when I'm back on my feet to help other people in my situation.

Thank you so much for reading and hopefully for helping!!

What do you do when you have no other place to turn? You swallow your pride and post on this site.

Never in a thousand years would I expect to find myself here, but drastic times call for drastic measures.

I find myself in a situation where I need your help to make ends meet.

I had a second job to help pay the bills, but due to my Multiple Sclerosis it became to taxing and I had to quit.

My rent and utilities are now late due to a recent hospitalization that set me back and also the new medications my doctor put me on.

If someone can find it in their heart to help, you don't know how much that would mean to me and I will be sure to Pay It Forward when I'm back on my feet to help other people in my situation.

Thank you so much for reading and hopefully for helping!!

I'm 27 years old and I take care of my very sick mother, 6 kids, and myself when I can. We currently have no lights. Our lights were turned off Friday due to someone stealing my identity in the past and running up a high light bill and they even stole power. I'm now being forced to pay for the bill. I know your wondering how they can do that. Let me explain: power was in
my mothers name, then they found out my name was on the lease when we signed a special form cause my mother is on oxygen. At that point they said pay it or we will disconnect. I do not have any savings left or even a credit card to use. Plead help me ... I don't know what else to do but to swallow my pride and beg. If UT wws

I'm 27 years old and I take care of my ill mother, disabled husband, and 6 children. Were struggling so much right now.I have been fired from several jobs due to my family needing me. Please understand this was so embarrassing to me. I had to swallow my pride because my family Is what I live for. We need help to pay these bills. Please help us. I assure you when all is well I will pay it forward.

I will keep this simple. I live in Scotland, and lost my job due to ill health. My girlfriend was forced to move back to Israel, and I am saving up cash to get there to get back together with her. Her family are struggling financially s of recently, and so my girlfriend has taken a second job to help, although she was offered a job as an escort. She turned it down at first, but now her family are pushing and pushing for her to take the job to help with money. I need to get there ASAP to prevent this from happening. I cannot bear to think of her being bought, or being in danger, and I cannot do anything to change her situation stuck here.
I am begging for any monetary help to get there as i cannot afford a plane ticket soon enough to get there.
I really hate asking for help, but i decided to swallow my pride as she is more important than my embarrassment.
If anyone is willing to help, once i have fixed the situation, i will continue to save up cash on my own to pay back anyone who was incredibly generous, and will also offer my assistance in anything should the giver live close enough to me.

Hi there:

I now realized that my financial woes are much worse than before. Now my state forced us to now spend $282.00 in a now state mandated Medicaid spendown that will take a good chunk of our monthly checks that both my husband and I make together. Our combined total is $2,114.00. According to the state, they claimed "We make way beyond the limit". But one thing they don't understand that other expenses takes a good bite of our checks also. Rent is $1,200.00.00. Cell phones, $170.00. Cable/phone/internet, $190.00. Leaving me/us with little or noting to my/our names. What's worse is he is in a nursing home and it's stressfull enough for me already. Carfare is also expensive to see him every day and it all adds up. My family put more financial pressure to help them also and makes me feel small inside because of what I get each month. It's difficult to have substancial amount to for any entertainment purpose. I hate to go anywhere empty. My pets did not get any of their shots because our finances are high and we can't afford it. With all that I had mentioned above, I'm seriously and desperately need financial help at this time. Whatever I'm getting every will never get me by and I'm barely hanging on a string struggling to make ends meet and I get little or no financial help anywhere else, please. I can't live like this. I can't stand when other put any financial pressure on me. Medical bills are now harder to swallow and I can't hanldle it. The rent is donwright high still and I the rent is outrageously high. Please, I desperately need help right now. I have no one to turn to. Thank you so much. Thank you and God bless.

Because I believe in the power of prayer & the kindness of my fellow man, I've decided to swallow my pride & ask for help. This is not an action I am at all familiar with but am grasping at every straw to attempt to keep a roof over my family's head. We live in a modest house that we've called home for the past 20+ years.

I am a single mother who's been truly blessed with 4, beautiful, healthy children; 3 biological & a foster son that joined our family when he was 12…..he is now 23. My kids are the reason I continue to battle through what has been the most challenging, darkest phase of my 50 years on this Earth.

In the summer of 2011, life, as my family knew it, was forever changed. My son got off the school bus & proceeded to enter a crime scene upon opening the front door of the house we call home. It was immediately clear that we were victims of a daytime home invasion and robbery. A trail of splinters led straight to my bedroom door, which had been demolished in the process of gaining entrance & access to my personal belongings. Robbers took my box of trash bags & proceeded to fill them with anything that could be sold or traded. I came home to find that they had stolen everything of value that I had worked for in my 50 years of existence & everything of value that my kids cherished as well.

It didn't happen often, but on the occasion that I had a few extra dollars to spend on myself, I found pleasure in buying nice jewelry. Through the years, I had managed to accumulate a nice collection. Also, as a child, my father & I shared an interest in coin collecting. I had managed to hold on to several interesting coins my dad & I found. Weekly, he also, gave me & my brothers our allowance of a fifty cent piece each. I had somehow managed to hold on to many of these as well. I stored my coin collection in the bottom portion of my large armoire. This area is what my family referred to as "the safe." Anything of value, particularly sentimental, was given to me to be protected in the safe. A couple good examples are my, then, 10 year old son's game ball for hitting the Championship game winning grand slam home run & my daughter's horse riding medals, show jewelry & accessories, as well as a silver handled knife & sheath…….the only personal possession my foster son owned from his childhood. I carry a tremendous amount of guilt for not doing a better job of safe guarding my family's precious & dear possessions.

In addition to the lingering guilt, the robbery also resulted in life altering psychological effects to me & my family. I continue to wonder if & when I will ever fully recover & be the secure, self confident person I was before the robbery. Immediately following the break-in, I was consumed by finding out who was responsible & ways of obtaining this information…..I could think of nothing else. After several weeks of frantic guessing & running wild goose chases, I started to realize that regaining possession of my property was less likely as each day went by. I could feel myself falling into a dark, lonely place with deep despair…..& unfortunately, I was content to be there. For the next several months, I could not work, did not eat or sleep & rarely came out of my bedroom. There was a film in my head that ran & reran the events leading up to & immediately following the robbery…..filled with the "I should've"s, "I could've"s and "what ifs." I am plagued with distrust & no longer find interest in much of anything. I was robbed of far more than just pieces of property…..they stole my trust in mankind, my desire to thrive, my faith in the world & my sanity.

I have worked as a medical school curriculum manager for 21 years. As a result of my mental decline, I was unable to work for over three months which, consequentially, made it difficult to pay all of the bills. I managed to rob Peter to pay Paul for several months & kept up with everything except for my house payment. It is now in arrears nearly $5,000.00 & I am out of resources. For the first time in my life, I am facing foreclosure. It is embarrassing & humiliating & I don't know how to tell my kids that they are likely to have no place to call home in the very near future. I feel like such a failure! Even though I've been an exemplary employee for many years, as a consequence of the self doubting & tremendous stress, I am now faced with the strong potential of losing my job due to my inability to focus & my lack of desire to face each day, As if this wasn't enough for one person to handle, I am also witnessing the daily decline of my father & my hero due to end stage Parkinson's & Alzheimer's.

I'm not sure how this begging website works but if there is someone out there that is willing to make me a loan & work out a payment arrangement, I promise not to let you down.....you will be repaid! I am working hard to battle the persisting PTSD symptoms that continue to plague me. I just worry that facing homelessness may be more than I can handle. Lord, I hand it over to You coz I come to You a broken, wounded angel. I thank you for any consideration and appreciate all prayers. May God bless you many times & in many ways for your generosity & kindness!

Because I believe in the power of prayer & the kindness of my fellow man, I've decided to swallow my pride & ask for help. This is not an action I am at all familiar with but am grasping at every straw to attempt to keep a roof over my family's head. We live in a modest house that we've called home for the past 25 years.

I am a single mother who's been truly blessed with 4, beautiful, healthy children; 3 biological & a foster son that joined our family when he was 12…..he is now 23. My kids are the reason I continue to battle through what has been the most challenging, darkest phase of my 50 years on this Earth.

In the summer of 2011, life, as my family knew it, was forever changed. My son got off the school bus & proceeded to enter a crime scene upon opening the front door of the house we call home. It was immediately clear that we were victims of a daytime home invasion and robbery. A trail of splinters led straight to my bedroom door, which had been demolished in the process of gaining entrance & access to my personal belongings. Robbers took my box of trash bags & proceeded to fill them with anything that could be sold or traded. I came home to find that they had stolen everything of value that I had worked for in my 50 years of existence & everything of value that my kids cherished as well.

It didn't happen often, but on the occasion that I had a few extra dollars to spend on myself, I found pleasure in buying nice jewelry. Through the years, I had managed to accumulate a nice collection. Also, as a child, my father & I shared an interest in coin collecting. I had managed to hold on to several interesting coins my dad & I found. Weekly, he also, gave me & my brothers our allowance of a fifty cent piece each. I had somehow managed to hold on to many of these as well. I stored my coin collection in the bottom portion of my large armoire. This area is what my family referred to as "the safe." Anything of value, particularly sentimental, was given to me to be protected in the safe. A couple good examples are my, then, 10 year old son's game ball for hitting the Championship game winning grand slam home run & my daughter's horse riding medals, show jewelry & accessories, as well as a silver handled knife & sheath…….the only personal possession my foster son owned from his childhood. I carry a tremendous amount of guilt for not doing a better job of safe guarding my family's precious & dear possessions.

In addition to the lingering guilt, the robbery also resulted in other life altering psychological effects to me & my family. I continue to wonder if & when I will ever fully recover & be the secure, self confident person I was before the robbery. Immediately following the break-in, I was consumed by finding out who was responsible & ways of obtaining this information…..I could think of nothing else. After several weeks of frantic guessing & running wild goose chases, I started to realize that regaining possession of my property was less likely as each day went by. I could feel myself falling into a dark, lonely place accompanied by deep despair…..& unfortunately, I was content to be there. For the next several months, I could not work, did not eat or sleep & rarely came out of my bedroom. There was a film in my head that ran & reran the events leading up to & immediately following the robbery…..filled with the "I should've"s, "I could've"s and "what ifs." I am plagued with distrust & no longer find interest in much of anything. I was robbed of far more than just pieces of property…..they stole my trust in mankind, my desire to thrive, my faith in the world & my sanity.

I have worked as a medical school curriculum manager for 21 years. As a result of my mental decline, I was unable to work for over three months which, consequentially, made it difficult to pay all of the bills. I managed to rob Peter to pay Paul for several months & kept up with everything except for my house payment. It is now in arrears nearly $5,000.00 & I am out of resources. For the first time in my life, I am facing foreclosure. It is embarrassing & humiliating & I don't know how to tell my kids that they are likely to have no place to call home in the very near future. I feel like such a failure! Even though I've been an exemplary employee for many years, as a consequence of the self doubting & tremendous stress, I am now faced with the strong potential of losing my job due to my inability to focus & my lack of desire to face each day. As if this wasn't enough for one person to handle, I am also witnessing the daily decline of my father & my hero due to end stage Parkinson's & Alzheimer's.

I'm not sure how this begging website works but if there is someone out there that is willing to believe in me & offer me a loan & payment arrangements, I promise not to let you down.....you will be repaid! I am working hard to battle the persisting PTSD that continues to plague me. I just worry that facing homelessness may be more than I can handle. Lord, I hand it over to You coz I come to You a broken, wounded angel. I thank you for any consideration and appreciate all prayers. May God bless you many times & in many ways for your generosity & kindness!

Well. Like many on here, I have to swallow my pride because I'm suffering and can't make ends meat. Back in December. I learned I had a leak on my pipes. When I rcd a $498 water bill, needless to say I was shocked. I work only part-time at a school helping special need kids and have one at home myself. They cut back my hours. there looking for ways to cur back schools budget. I was sacraficed. I get about 250 every 2 weeks. One month I will pay electric then next another. I'm always behind. My son has pdd Nos and is a joy but he suffers cause I. Can't take him anywhere or feed him foods he likes due to our low income. I have to pick him up every other Sundays 2 nhour drive from his fathers so food gets pasted so u can get my child. Oh I can't afford car insurance. I don't know what else to for. I would like to pay off KY divorce lawyer and get insurance and braces fir Michael and get rid of my bills. Water iou. $498. Rent $500. Lawyer. $2,000. I.surance. approximately 50 per month. Braces and dental for me: 10,000 which is asking a lot. Better smile to move on with my life would help me and my child. God bless good people who care and want to help. I also want to go back to svhool

It took me awhile to swallow my pride and post something like this.

Unfortunately, myself and my partner in have found ourselves a little short on paying the project expenses, which has halted production, temporarily.. I'm not asking for much. If you can spare $10, $15 or $20 that would be fantastic. Honestly, I'd rather have five people spare $20 than one person send us $100, so smaller numbers are better.

Every little bit brings us much closer to our goal and help us meet our self-imposed deadlines without upsetting the contributors who have already volunteered their original work.

I have been writing most of my life and anyone who has ever written fiction will tell you, there are more writers than markets. Adding a new market to the world would be doing a service to both aspiring authors and to people who enjoy short fictions. Also, We never plan to charge subscription fees (most online publications of this sort don't).

If you do choose to help us out, please send an email to hipsterfight@gmail.com, so we can keep you updated on the project if you wish. Also, if you give us permission, we'll include your name in a list of special thanks.

And finally, thank you. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to read this, even if you choose not to send any assistance our way.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho men was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I feel so awkward asking for help, glad this site is anonymous. I was taught growing up you always have to do things on your own and be self sufficient, but I guess have to swallow my pride.

At the age of 17 I was diagnosed with ankylosis spondylitis, 2 years later I received crohn's disease, 1 year after that another problem I was diagnosed with Primary sclerosing cholangitis. I have to pay a ton on medication every month from remicade to other steroids. I have been in the hospital three times past two years due to crohn's flare up's. I need help with my medical bills.

Please anything will help

It's a long road we all travel.Some of us turn the right way,and some of us turn the wrong way.And then there's those of us,who no matter which way we turn.It all ends up like Shit.I just need a little help TODAY, so i can keep myself together with dignity,and with a roof over my head.I'm a 54 year old male just looking to keep the Gas,Electric,
and Water going.Lost my vehicle to mechanical problems in October,any money I had at the time went toward survival.I am on food stamps so I'm not worried about that,but that is all the assistance my local Government will provide me.I don't drink,
I don't do drugs,I have know credit,and have pawned what little I had to get to this point.I do have some pride left which I have had to learn to swallow to ask for help.Please help with anything you can. Thank you and God bless.

My name is Toni, I am 59 and live in Texas. I have advanced breast cancer. My cancer has spread to my bones. I am unable to work. This is really hard for me to swallow my pride and ask for help. I am in need of financial help because of debt related to my cancer and because my house had a slab leak and my homeowner's insurance does not cover that kind of flooding in a home. If you can help me with a donation towards my debt and home rehab I would be grateful. Any donation appreciated. I will pay it forward if you can help me.

I have never begged for noney befor as I am very prideful.Howver, sometimes you have to swallow your pride. I have for several years paid the mortgage my daughters private school etc. But I am self employed builder. I recently had to have complete shoulder reconstruction to my left shoulder and when that heals I will have to have surgery on right. Being self employed when I don't work, I don't make anymoney. I can't afford to get my wife or daughter anything for christmas or pay the mortgage (1200.00). I will be out work for 6 months. I have no idea what I can do. No family and my church can't help. collections are down. If you can please help me till I can get back on my feet.

It is a hard position to be in right now for my 10 year old son Roy and me. My name is Nicole and I am a single parent of an awesome kid. Unfortunately, I am unable to pay our monthly bills due to being hospitalized and current recovery time. Although I am no longer in the hospital, I have been off work for over 2 months now and I have long run out of vacation leave with my employment. As one may imagine my income to support my family and to pay our bills as dwindled away and the bills have been juggled and are now stacked high. I am grateful to friends and family for donating Christmas dinner and regular groceries and toiletries which have eased some of our burdens.

I do not expect my medical issue to continue for too much longer. I am hoping to be back to work earning a regular bi-weekly paycheck soon. Unfortunately, we are set back big time on the bills and I have no way of catching up on my own. I do not receive child support because I would rather have my son safe that see any money from a kidnapper. I have spoken to the utility companies and they seem to have had enough of helping me by putting me on payment plans and pushing back due dates of the bills. ALL donated funds will go to paying the household bills. i.e. electricity, gas, phone, water, and I would like to be able to give my son Roy a happier Christmas.

I am going to pay it forward when I am in a better place in life financially, I will help others in need as those who have donated to my son and I. Thank you in advance to those are able to donate and who felt it on their hearts to help us out.

Some extra info: Roy and I live in the great state of Kansas in the USA, we are not scammers, we are a legitimate family in need of help. Tax season is not a good time for me because in order to safe our home I had to file bankruptcy 2 Januaries ago to save our home, and I have been claiming 9 all year long in order to help supplement the $700 that comes out of my check every month that pays back the mortgage company among a few other creditors. Because of claiming 9 all year long, I see no tax return. I have NO credit cards, my car is paid off, the only dept that I have is from my bankruptcy and the money that has been owed to the utility companies. If we don't receive the kindness of others giving we will continue to be in a bad financial situation. I've been poor before and I know I will be okay, but my son, if I cant pay the bills he will have no heat, no water, small Christmas etc...

Roy is a trooper, he is a great son to have and I have always considered myself truly lucky to have him in my life, he tells me he feels the same. He understands that money is tight, we have had the "mommy doesn't have allot of money for Christmas" talk a couple of weeks ago, in which I cried and he was totally understanding and okay with it because "at least I have you" he said. No Joke, he actually said that to me! I am hoping that through this experience of asking for help, when this is said and done, that I can share with him the true gift of people giving and he and I will donate to others once we are back up on our feet.

I do wish there was a better way for you all to understand that this is a legitimate need, a financial emergency. My monthly bills are adding up to about $1400.00 which they are usually not that high but I owe some for last months bills too. If some of you reading this could donate any amount small or large, $1 goes a long way right now, I will truly appreciate it. I am making a donation goal of $2,000.00 which with luck and a prayer we will see half of that by Christmas time. $1,400 of it is for bills and most the rest is for Roy's Christmas and I have been sleeping on a broken bed for 6 years now so 200-300 of it will go to a new bed, but that's only if we make the total goal.

Just to get it straight, I am not looking for a handout, just a helping hand of strangers in a time of need when I had to learn to swallow my pride. Your charitable gifts are appreciated and will help us get back up on our feet. If you would like to pay on a bill online instead of donating money please contact me. If you feel inclined to, you can specify what you would like the funds to go towards, i.e. "please put these funds towards Roy's Christmas" or "put this money towards your gas bill" and I will accommodate. thank you for your consideration

If you feel as though my family's cause is worthy but you have nothing to give please spread the word to friends and family that may be able to help us in our time of need. Feel free to make any comments also, I will reply and I will add updates. If you have any questions for me please ask. thank you, we love you

It is a hard position to be in right now for my 10 year old son Roy and me. My name is Nicole and I am a single parent of an awesome kid. Unfortunately, I am unable to pay our monthly bills due to being hospitalized and current recovery time. Although I am no longer in the hospital, I have been off work for over 2 months now and I have long run out of vacation leave with my employment. As one may imagine my income to support my family and to pay our bills as dwindled away and the bills have been juggled and are now stacked high. I am grateful to friends and family for donating Christmas dinner and regular groceries and toiletries which have eased some of our burdens.

I do not expect my medical issue to continue for too much longer. I am hoping to be back to work earning a regular bi-weekly paycheck soon. Unfortunately, we are set back big time on the bills and I have no way of catching up on my own. I do not receive child support because I would rather have my son safe that see any money from a kidnapper. I have spoken to the utility companies and they seem to have had enough of helping me by putting me on payment plans and pushing back due dates of the bills. ALL donated funds will go to paying the household bills. i.e. electricity, gas, phone, water, and I would like to be able to give my son Roy a happier Christmas.

I am going to pay it forward when I am in a better place in life financially, I will help others in need as those who have donated to my son and I. Thank you in advance to those are able to donate and who felt it on their hearts to help us out.

Some extra info: Roy and I live in the great state of Kansas in the USA, we are not scammers, we are a legitimate family in need of help. Tax season is not a good time for me because in order to safe our home I had to file bankruptcy 2 Januaries ago to save our home, and I have been claiming 9 all year long in order to help supplement the $700 that comes out of my check every month that pays back the mortgage company among a few other creditors. Because of claiming 9 all year long, I see no tax return. I have NO credit cards, my car is paid off, the only dept that I have is from my bankruptcy and the money that has been owed to the utility companies. If we don't receive the kindness of others giving we will continue to be in a bad financial situation. I've been poor before and I know I will be okay, but my son, if I cant pay the bills he will have no heat, no water, small Christmas etc...

Roy is a trooper, he is a great son to have and I have always considered myself truly lucky to have him in my life, he tells me he feels the same. He understands that money is tight, we have had the "mommy doesn't have allot of money for Christmas" talk a couple of weeks ago, in which I cried and he was totally understanding and okay with it because "at least I have you" he said. No Joke, he actually said that to me! I am hoping that through this experience of asking for help, when this is said and done, that I can share with him the true gift of people giving and he and I will donate to others once we are back up on our feet.

I do wish there was a better way for you all to understand that this is a legitimate need, a financial emergency. My monthly bills are adding up to about $1400.00 which they are usually not that high but I owe some for last months bills too. If some of you reading this could donate any amount small or large, $1 goes a long way right now, I will truly appreciate it. I am making a donation goal of $2,000.00 which with luck and a prayer we will see half of that by Christmas time. $1,400 of it is for bills and most the rest is for Roy's Christmas and I have been sleeping on a broken bed for 6 years now so 200-300 of it will go to a new bed, but that's only if we make the total goal.

Just to get it straight, I am not looking for a handout, just a helping hand of strangers in a time of need when I had to learn to swallow my pride. Your charitable gifts are appreciated and will help us get back up on our feet. If you would like to pay on a bill online instead of donating money please contact me. If you feel inclined to, you can specify what you would like the funds to go towards, i.e. "please put these funds towards Roy's Christmas" or "put this money towards your gas bill" and I will accommodate. thank you for your consideration

If you feel as though my family's cause is worthy but you have nothing to give please spread the word to friends and family that may be able to help us in our time of need. Feel free to make any comments also, I will reply and I will add updates. If you have any questions for me please ask. thank you, we love you