Surprised Tags

I'm a single mother aged 35. I've lived in California for almost 14 years ( it will be 15 this year on memorial day weekend.)
I’m going to be a little blunt, because I'm tired and I want to give up so bad, but I can't. I'm better than that and my kids are my motivator. I wake up everyday and remind myself of 2 things :1) Faith is what you have when you all your beliefs are blown to hell. 2) What doesn't kill you makes you stronger -Nietzsche

I am a 35 year old educated, ambitious, head strong woman. I have owned my own business with my soon to be ex. I know what hard work and determination are. I went to private school and I am educated. I value my community and have always given back and will continue to do so. I also know that I have the drive and determination to get myself back on track. I'm not ASKING for a handout, I'm asking for help up! I also know what loss is. I don't have the business, a house or EVEN the car anymore. We lost everything. He bounced back , I didn’t. All I have is HOPE, that someone or some program can help me carve a path back to self sufficiency.
It's gone continually downhill.I am amazed at the allotment of programs for both housing and employment for all different walks of life. However, what about those that are just struggling. No hang ups, no record, just struggling and are LOW INCOME. I'm not writing this to make you feel sorry, I'm writing this because I have exhausted possibilities that I have researched both on my own or been given the information to do the work with.
There are people who struggle everyday through no fault of their own. They don't want a hand out, but help up would be a relief. Society doesn't need band-aids they need solutions.
Not every county, city or state program fits everyone's needs.
First of all Section 8 has been closed since BEFORE I left my marriage so that idea could never work. The list has been closed for years. Because I have limited time with my children, I do not qualify for CALWORKS. I have tried getting assistance in every way possible. I had very little unemployment left since I have been struggling to find work. I was delayed for about 3 months because they needed verification and I had to appeal and request a hearing. I have won my appeal but will only receive $91/week and for a short period of time.
I took a project management class through WIA in 2011, and I was able to get CTB benefits. I NEED HELP. I have hit the absolute worst point in my life and still refuse to give up. I have been looking for work and am now HOMELESS.I am in week 3 of staying in an extended stay hotel (paid for by my mother back east, who makes maybe $26,000/yr in PA) I recently sold my car because I needed to pay bills and rent. I have maybe $75 to my name.
The fact that they say there are services for low income/ homeless is frustrating. I say this because there is no category for me. I'm not a drug addict or in recovery. I don't have a mental illness. I wasn't in prison, I don’t' even have a RECORD. I can proudly say I've never been arrested or even in the back of a cop car. I'm not a victim of domestic violence and I do not beat my kids. Why aren't there programs in place for single parents struggling to make it? Everyday people that are responsible and respectable. I understand the need to assist those that may not have the capacity to take care of themselves. However, I have a huge problem with the fact that Santa Clara County & all programs (private, govt or state funded) will rehabilitate and reintroduced felons into the community, but if you're poor, homeless, no record, are looking for work, have high intelligence; sorry, you can't get help. This sounds extremely cynical and jaded, but I am a little after going through all I have.
I have been told constantly “I wish I could do something but we don't have any programs to help you.” My favorite reply is: "Yeah and you have done everything. I'm surprised you even knew about all the programs you did"
I have talked to employment counselors, program coordinators, program advocates and case managers, volunteers, just about anyone. The bankruptcy is hindering my chances of securing housing, even if I had employment.

The icing on the cake has to be with food stamps and General Assistance. I qualified for Cal-Fresh. However, at the time I had a car worth $2200. So I wasn't able to get General Assistance. Fast Forward a year later, I HAD to sell my car to pay bills. Now this month when I went for General Assistance, I qualify.

It's a never ending cycle, a constant push down. I can take public transportation to work, but to get around and see my boys and being able to transport them would be extremely difficult, not to mention financially stressing. I have scoured employment books, read articles, searched the library, spent hours online trying to find a job, program, a company, anybody who could be a resource whether for low income assistance or employment.
I can probably tell you about a plethora of services this county (Santa Clara) offers for both income assistance and job services.I am registered with CALJOBS; I know all the career sites and have my resume there. I get interviews, however I am starting to think the bankruptcy from loss of business is holding me back when employers do background check.
I also could teach the business writing class or the resume writing classes they offer at Work2Future, I practically did when I took them. I could do the same at Sacred Heart. I've been to InnVision and EHC. I’ve talked to Sunnyvale Community Services. Boy he was a treat he sounded older then my 80 yr old grandma. When I said I need housing and employment help, he gruffly told me to check the newspaper and hung up. I've called St Josephs in Gilroy. I've talked to a program coordinator at West Valley Community Services. I called the Sobrato Organization hoping they had ties to something and one the employees just by grace of god happened to pick up and take my call. I was able to talk to someone at HIF (they couldn't help)
.
I am responsible, respectable and just want to work, have a place to live, and be able to have my children 50/50. I have no police record. I am not in recovery, nor have I ever had to be in a program
I want to work and am attaching a compilation of ALL my work skills. I would not send this out otherwise, I would tailor it specifically to the job I am applying for.

I used to volunteer as much as I could I like being active in my community and helping others. I'm still about that I believe in PAY IT FORWARD. I believe the good you do comes back to you tenfold and that no matter what is going wrong in your life, someone else is struggling just as much if not more; so be thankful for what you have.
I attend church and was a hospitality volunteer for that as well.
I just need help getting on my feet. I have no family, other than my children here in CA.
I do not want to move back east and be far away from them. I want to work, I want to live again. I want to smile and mean it.

I hate what my life has become and know that I am SO MUCH BETTER THEN THIS.
Please help me : money is fine, but it's only a temporary fix, please help me find a program that can assist me in getting on my feet, direct me to employment, and most of all afford me the opportunity to have my children much more consistently so I can be a mom again.
Thank you
Courtney DiMiceli

*******Please take a moment to read this.******

I am surprised I am doing this but I am looking for some way to get ahead. My husband and I both work full time but we just can't seem to get past a wall that we've hit. Our debt started to accumulate as we were raising our children. My husband is actually stepfather to my two children and support payments from the bioligical father were far and few between. My children are young adults now and I will never see the $25K that is owed in back support. Ironically, we have about $20K in credit card debt. With credit cards maxed out, credit scores go down so trying other options such as consolidation loans have gone nowhere. We have tried earning extra money on Ebay but by the time they collect all their fees there's not much left for us. I have searched the internet for ways to earn extra income but find more scams than legitimate opportunities. Every month it seems to become more difficult. It's a juggling act just trying to keep up with everything.

I have always considered myself a generous person. I volunteer in the community and would love nothing more than to contribute more, especially financially. If we can get this debt under control, I would have the ability to "Pay it Forward".

This year is my Mum's 60th Birthday and I really, really want to be with her to celebrate it - in person.
But about 10,000 miles separate us. She lives in Nebo, Australia and I live in Wisconsin Dells, WI of the U.S of A and I don't have the funds to travel there. It's been over 20 years since I've celebrated a birthday with her, together in the same location.
My Mum knows I don't have any money so I know she will be super surprised to see me instead of just the getting a phone call on the day.
Having to ask for money is very uncomfortable for me but I need to see my Mum. Currently I only have a part-time job and in debt from living on my credit cards and I'm trying so hard not to get further in debt.
So, thank you for taking the time to read my request and I appreciate any help you could spare.
Thank you and no offering is too small.

When I purchased this home back in 2004 after finally getting away from an extremely abusive marriage, all I could see was that the price was right and that I would finally be safe - hundreds of miles away from my now ex-husband. As a single mother of 3 children on a limited income, I saw how I would be able to live completely mortgage and rent free. I didn't however see the major repairs that this house required - nor did I have the money to make such repairs. Over time, of course things got worse - and it brings me up to the point of where I am today.

The roof on this house is so badly deteriorated that it is leaking very badly in the downstairs bathroom, dining room, kitchen and front door areas. It has leaked so badly that now mold has started to form in the bathroom ceiling and the drywall has slowly been falling away on the one wall. The slightest wind and you will find shingles blown off and laying on the ground. The roof is so bad that I am fearful that even the boards underneath the shingles may need to be replaced.

Realize that this is my last resort in trying to come up with the funds required to get this new roof. I have tried applying to government grants for home improvement but unfortunately I do not qualify because 1. my property taxes are not paid up to date (I owe approximately $2000 just in property taxes), and 2. the size of the house is larger than the specified guideline parameters. Nor do I qualify for a loan of any sort as 1. I make a mere $200 a month working and 2. have bad past credit (being a single mom has taken some serious tolls on me - including financially!).

So the goal here is to get a new roof installed - and as soon as possible so that any further damage to the house is avoided. I also worry about the mold forming in the bathroom especially and one day the roof caving in in there. While my children have grown to teenagers now, I still have to worry about their health.

I have uploaded pictures and this story at Chip-In to show you the extent of the damage done especially in the bathroom area - and a view of the shingles as they are right now on the roof. Admittedly I realize that my house also needs some repair on the stucco, windows and such but right now my main concern is the roof. I'm surprised it hasn't caved in on me by now.

I thank everyone in advance for helping me with this. I do not normally like asking for help from anyone but at this point I am finding that I have no other alternative.

Please view photos of the damage, etc at my Chip-In page at http://escapetofreedom.chipin.com/imperative-home-repairs

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho men was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

Dear lovely person who is reading this,

My twin sister desperately needs my help, but I'm in poverty and I have medical issues. I'm having a really hard time giving her much help.

First off, she is barely 21 years old and such a beautiful, lovely young lady. She always, no matter what, tries to be good to everyone, no matter what she has been through, and she has been through a lot. She has a lot of talents, including singing, songwriting, journalism, and poetry. I love my sister!

Unfortunately, she just became a struggling single mom with a newborn baby. She loves her beautiful baby so much and cares so much for him. If I ever have a baby, I wish I could be as strong and caring of a mom as she is. She puts her whole heart into his care.

She's been through a lot in the past year as well. Before she became pregnant, she was hit by a car and lost her job, all the while being confronted with huge medical bills. She can walk now, but has a permanent weakness in her leg and it hurts sometimes for her.

She now has absolutely no support from the father, and thankfully, he is out of the picture due to incarceration. I was aware of the fact that he was always a little "off", but she recently revealed many secrets to me, and he was aggressive and very emotionally abusive to her. He even stole from her! He hurt her very much.

She's staying at my mother's, which, is normally a good thing, but, this is NOT a good situation she is in. It is not very safe, constructive, or loving at my mother's. I worry for her being alone and having been through so much. I know she feels so upset, and it pains me that I can't be by her side. I also worry that the father might try to come back and hurt her if he gets a chance. She is stuck there and she needs to get out, soon.

So, dear stranger, my sister needs your help. She wants to do so much for the world, go to school, learn a lot, and contribute to society. She has a lot of dreams. She just needs that jump start. She needs to get started first.

Please, if you would take a moment and donate something, she would appreciate it so very much. Everything will go towards her beautiful newborn baby and her enrichment, and hopefully a few counseling sessions for the pain she's been through. She needs all the help she can get.

Once I am done collecting donations, I'll surprise her with the donations received on this Mother's Day. She'll be so surprised!

***If I get over $300 in donations, I'll buy a post that allows video, and on Mother's Day I'll post a video of the surprised lovely young lady!***

Sincerely,
A twin sister

i am a young businessman started a big multibrand mobile showroom with airconditioned. i went to andhra bank for a loan of 30 lakhs and given my house as security. The branch head said that your loan is under processing and it will sanctioned in 7 days. After seven days i went to bank and met him. He opend an current account on my firm name and issued cheque book stating that your loan will starts from 5th of this month. So i went home happily and the next day i placed order worth of 10 lakhs to all distributors of various brands and i issued post dated cheque on the date of 6th. The day i never forgot in my life. Morning about 11am one of the distributor called me and said there is no balance in your account. how can u give 5 lakhs cheque to us. i was surprised and told him that it was an OD account. plz chek once again. after 15 mins he called me again and told me that there is no such OD facility in my account. Immediatly i called to my bank manager and his cell was switched off. then i called to branch land line number and asked the Assistant Manager. He said that the manager was on leave upto 4 days and he dont know anything about the loan. then i took money from one financer at a huge rate of interest to pass all my cheques and it took 6 months to clear the loan by selling my house which i was supposed to put as security with the bank. I lost all my money, house, car, showroom and all. At present i am having still 25 lakhs debits and i am facing very bad and worst situation both outside and in my house. When i sold my house 70years aged my parents went to other rented house and till today i dont know where they are living right now. They are very much anger with me and not interestd to state that i am their son. I left my wife and child and living with my friend because of my wife's torture. So i kindly request you to help me with money as much as u can and i will return all the money which i got from you with in a period of one year. Kindly do the needful.

My wife is a nurse. She works Hospice. For the twenty plus years I've known her, the one thing I could say about her is that she is a very giving person. The things she does to make sure everyone else is cared for, the way she puts everyone else before herself, are some of her best defining characteristics. Our son, bless him, is almost exactly like her. But now, as the holidays loom, she's become very ill.

My wife had uterine cancer. They performed surgery this weekend, and were surprised to find a lot more cancer outside the uterus and of a more aggressive type than their tests indicated.

Now we are looking at at least 6 months of chemo and radiation therapy. She goes in this weekend to have another tumor biopsied.

She's on leave of absence from work. I have a job, but it pays terribly. I'm looking for something better. When it was just going to be one surgery and done, we knew things would get tight, but her recovery would let her get back to work without us losing anything. Now with her being out of work a further six months, we just don't know how we're going make it all work.

We're on a medical card now, so the bills from her treatment are paid. We get food stamps, so we can eat. What we don't have is a way to pay the mortgage or car payment or any of the other bills that come up on a monthly basis. My paychecks are far from enough. I'm going to work every shift they give me, but by myself, I can't do it.

Every little bit helps. Thank you, and god bless.

Hi, i have never really done anything like this before so here goes. I am 29 years old and have worked in the service industry most of my life as a cook. I have always said i was going to go back to school but i never really found the time since i have always worked 50+ hour weeks. For the last year work prospects have been dismal. You would think that service industry work is plentiful but i have been proven otherwise. Pretty much what brings me here now goes like this :
I had what i thought was a decent amount of money saved up after the restaurant i worked in closed its doors. When i had first started saving this it was originally intended to go into my college fund. After paying rent, car payment, phone bill, food, internet
along with some quality of life expenses i am down to my last 23 dollars. I have already either sold or am in the process of selling anything of value i have in my apartment (funny enough having a hard time doing that too only thing that sold quickly was my xbox 360 and my flat screen). Again, i don't know what to do. I keep doing the right thing. Looking for a job has become my job. I have tried to do everything i can to minimize my spending even down to eating one meal a day and walking to look for work (you would be surprised how after a while walking a few miles is preferable to paying 2.25 for a bus fare). As time is going by my clothing are starting to deteriorate and my shoes are worn on the outer heel of each to the point i can see my socks. I do have another pair of shoes but when you are looking for a job dress shoes i wore once at a wedding and damn near tattered jeans and super faded shirts doesn't sound like a good idea when you're trying to impress a potential employer.
I feel like i am just screwed now. Soon i wont be able to afford my cell phone payments (i need this to keep in touch for job prospects) and i am currently arranging to find somewhere to stay temporarily since i wont be able to afford my apartment anymore (makes me glad i had the forethought to pay a few months rent in advance while i still could). I don't have any family left and my 2 friends in the world and now ex girlfriend are having enough money problems of their own they couldn't help me if they wanted to. I am currently only eligible for foodshare and a reduced payment plan for my electricity. I have tried every state resource that is meant to help out people in my situation but aside from the foodshare and utilities assistance all i found was jaded city workers and disappointment.
Getting to the point i have nowhere else to turn for help aside from charity. I don't have money left and i am freaking out. I ran a laundry list of things that everybody needs and i cant afford simple things anymore like soap, shoes , toothpaste and clothing.
I am planning on getting what i need together and go to college since i don't want to be a cook for the rest of my life but i need some help. Anything that can be thrown towards my expenses so i can keep my head above water until i manage to find a job and pay for my high school transcripts to be translated so i can apply for financial aid and go to school (i am aware that college is not a solution to my situation but i can at least take that time to learn something new that i can apply to hopefully increasing my earning potential). I cant do this if i am homeless.
So please anything can help since its more than i make right now. I am scared and i honestly do not think i will fare well homeless in the streets. I don't want to end up homeless in the dead of winter.
Thank you for taking your time to read this.
Anything from 25 cents to your prayers help.

Hi, i have never really done anything like this before so here goes. I am 29 years old and have worked in the service industry most of my life as a cook. I have always said i was going to go back to school but i never really found the time since i have always worked 50+ hour weeks. For the last year work prospects have been dismal. You would think that service industry work is plentiful but i have been proven otherwise. Pretty much what brings me here now goes like this :
I had what i thought was a decent amount of money saved up after the restaurant i worked in closed its doors. When i had first started saving this it was originally intended to go into my college fund. After paying rent, car payment, phone bill, food, internet
along with some quality of life expenses i am down to my last 23 dollars. I have already either sold or am in the process of selling anything of value i have in my apartment (funny enough having a hard time doing that too only thing that sold quickly was my xbox 360 and my flat screen). Again, i don't know what to do. I keep doing the right thing. Looking for a job has become my job. I have tried to do everything i can to minimize my spending even down to eating one meal a day and walking to look for work (you would be surprised how after a while walking a few miles is preferable to paying 2.25 for a bus fare). As time is going by my clothing are starting to deteriorate and my shoes are worn on the outer heel of each to the point i can see my socks. I do have another pair of shoes but when you are looking for a job dress shoes i wore once at a wedding and damn near tattered jeans and super faded shirts doesn't sound like a good idea when you're trying to impress a potential employer.
I feel like i am just screwed now. Soon i wont be able to afford my cell phone payments (i need this to keep in touch for job prospects) and i am currently arranging to find somewhere to stay temporarily since i wont be able to afford my apartment anymore (makes me glad i had the forethought to pay a few months rent in advance while i still could). I don't have any family left and my 2 friends in the world and now ex girlfriend are having enough money problems of their own they couldn't help me if they wanted to. I am currently only eligible for foodshare and a reduced payment plan for my electricity. I have tried every state resource that is meant to help out people in my situation but aside from the foodshare and utilities assistance all i found was jaded city workers and disappointment.
Getting to the point i have nowhere else to turn for help aside from charity. I don't have money left and i am freaking out. I ran a laundry list of things that everybody needs and i cant afford simple things anymore like soap, shoes , toothpaste and clothing.
I am planning on getting what i need together and go to college since i don't want to be a cook for the rest of my life but i need some help. Anything that can be thrown towards my expenses so i can keep my head above water until i manage to find a job and pay for my high school transcripts to be translated so i can apply for financial aid and go to school (i am aware that college is not a solution to my situation but i can at least take that time to learn something new that i can apply to hopefully increasing my earning potential). I cant do this if i am homeless.
So please anything can help since its more than i make right now. I am scared and i honestly do not think i will fare well homeless in the streets. I don't want to end up homeless in the dead of winter.
Thank you for taking your time to read this.
Anything from 25 cents to your prayers help.

Hi, i have never really done anything like this before so here goes. I am 29 years old and have worked in the service industry most of my life as a cook. I have always said i was going to go back to school but i never really found the time since i have always worked 50+ hour weeks. For the last year work prospects have been dismal. You would think that service industry work is plentiful but i have been proven otherwise. Pretty much what brings me here now goes like this :
I had what i thought was a decent amount of money saved up after the restaurant i worked in closed its doors. When i had first started saving this it was originally intended to go into my college fund. After paying rent, car payment, phone bill, food, internet
along with some quality of life expenses i am down to my last 23 dollars. I have already either sold or am in the process of selling anything of value i have in my apartment (funny enough having a hard time doing that too only thing that sold quickly was my xbox 360 and my flat screen). Again, i don't know what to do. I keep doing the right thing. Looking for a job has become my job. I have tried to do everything i can to minimize my spending even down to eating one meal a day and walking to look for work (you would be surprised how after a while walking a few miles is preferable to paying 2.25 for a bus fare). As time is going by my clothing are starting to deteriorate and my shoes are worn on the outer heel of each to the point i can see my socks. I do have another pair of shoes but when you are looking for a job dress shoes i wore once at a wedding and damn near tattered jeans and super faded shirts doesn't sound like a good idea when you're trying to impress a potential employer.
I feel like i am just screwed now. Soon i wont be able to afford my cell phone payments (i need this to keep in touch for job prospects) and i am currently arranging to find somewhere to stay temporarily since i wont be able to afford my apartment anymore (makes me glad i had the forethought to pay a few months rent in advance while i still could). I don't have any family left and my 2 friends in the world and now ex girlfriend are having enough money problems of their own they couldn't help me if they wanted to. I am currently only eligible for foodshare and a reduced payment plan for my electricity. I have tried every state resource that is meant to help out people in my situation but aside from the foodshare and utilities assistance all i found was jaded city workers and disappointment.
Getting to the point i have nowhere else to turn for help aside from charity. I don't have money left and i am freaking out. I ran a laundry list of things that everybody needs and i cant afford simple things anymore like soap, shoes , toothpaste and clothing.
I am planning on getting what i need together and go to college since i don't want to be a cook for the rest of my life but i need some help. Anything that can be thrown towards my expenses so i can keep my head above water until i manage to find a job and pay for my high school transcripts to be translated so i can apply for financial aid and go to school (i am aware that college is not a solution to my situation but i can at least take that time to learn something new that i can apply to hopefully increasing my earning potential). I cant do this if i am homeless.
So please anything can help since its more than i make right now. I am scared and i honestly do not think i will fare well homeless in the streets. I don't want to end up homeless in the dead of winter.
Thank you for taking your time to read this.
Anything from 25 cents to your prayers help.

My problem started in July 2010. I was involved in an auto accident. I rear-ended a woman, who in turn rear-ended the person in front of her. The reason it happened was that the person in front of me hit their gas and got over to an open spot in the lane to my left. This move was so fast I didn't have room to either side and I saw the reason that driver moved was the cars in front of him or her were at a dead stop. We were traveling uphill so I was unable to see past the car and I had no idea people were stopped. I had less than a second to hit my brakes. Luckily no body was injured.

Here is where the story gets ugly. My mom had paid my auto insurance but she lost her job so I started to pay the premiums. I told my insurance agent to automatically deduct the premium and I gave her my bank information. So I was under the impression I had insurance. I did not. The agent only charged me for one month's premium and never set up the automatic deduction. Great. But there seemed to be a silver lining...the two other vehicles involved in the accident drove away before the police arrived. I did not get a ticket, I was completely sober and cooperative, and the police were surprised two victims of an accident would just drive away. Both parties got all of my information, they drove away before I got theirs. At the time of the accident I wasn't worried because I thought I had insurance.
When I called my agent I was informed that my policy lapsed because I hadn't paid my monthly premium.

I was curious if the fact that both of these people drove away would take the heat off of me. The police thought this was possible, after all, how can they prove they didn't smash up their vehicles further after they drove away to get more insurance money?

It gets worse. I left my job a few years ago because I had a job all but promised to me in Denver. Obviously, I didn't get the job in Denver. Not sure why, I aced the interview. So with no steady income (I was used to making about 42k yearly) I held hope I'd land a good job and had no choice to but to survive on a credit card for food and gas. That good job never came along. I ended up working overnights as a nurse assistant in the mental health unit. I've been drowning in debt, I had to get a car from what some consider a predatory lending car lot. I lost the hospital job in April for 'misconduct' (I worked nights and someone reported that I was sleeping, I wasn't but they didn't believe me so now I don't qualify for unemployment.) So, no income to pay for that vehicle and it got repossessed. But the best part is I got a letter in January 2011 stating that I owe one of the parties involved in the accident around 5k. I don't have it. If I had the money I would write both of the drivers involved in that accident fat checks right now, but I simply do not have the resources. The letter from the state dept of transportation stated that my license would be suspended unless I came up with the money. So I called the agency, and from my conversation with the state employee it sounded like my case would be reviewed. Nope. A collection agency sent me a letter saying in total I owe nearly 35k for the two cars and my credit cards.

In February I was on my way to a friend's house and I was pulled over because my temp tags were expired. The officer ran my license and I was handcuffed and taken to jail. I have never been arrested, and my driving record is excellent. The officer even thought it was silly. Regardless, now I have a court date in early July and I have the public defender taking my case. He said I either need to pay $1000 fine, or spend a minimum of 2 days in jail. So it looks as if I will be in jail at least 2 days because I have no money. Being without a vehicle is no picnic. My job search is limited to places on a bus route close to my home in Kansas City. I have no friends or family with that kind of money. I am not a drug addict, or a criminal. My career tanked, and I've kept falling through the cracks. I stay positive and I love life, but the anxiety and absence of pride in my life are making me isolate more. I can't afford to do anything. Luckily my brother is letting me stay in a spare room at his place or I may be homeless. I am a hard worker, I have a bachelor's degree, and I am a pleasant person to work with. But I have no car, no money, horrible credit, and bleak job prospects. Please do not think I feel sorry for myself. I've made stupid decisions that got me where I am. I take responsibility for putting myself in situations where these things happened. And especially for not paying attention to my financial obligations (the insurance premium). That being said, all I can do is look forward and do the best I can to get back on my feet. At this moment I feel like a wet puppy who is trying unsuccessfully to jump out of the tub during a bath. I need help. I don't know who to turn to. I've wanted to volunteer at some places to meet people and network but without a vehicle and a suspended license I can't even volunteer at most places. Please, if anyone can help, contact me with suggestions. I desperately need to file for bankruptcy but that costs around 1,800.00 and I can't afford that.

I also have around 27k in student loan debt. That debt along with the approximately 35k in unsecured debt leaves me with a very large amount of money that I have no realistic chance of paying back. The student loans will not be affected if I file for bankruptcy. Which is fine. As a matter of pride and doing what is right I don't like that my debts can simply be written off, but that is seemingly my only option. I would love to volunteer for a charity of my debtor's choosing to start to contribute something, but that proposal often times ends up sounding like a mutated version of indentured servitude.

I apologize for the rambling. This is the first time I have ever written all of this down at once and I feel better.

Thank you for your time.

my mom has recently became mentally ill and very depressed, she has been in and out of the ER and mental facilities. me and my sister have been struggling to get her house paid off she has worked very hard her whole life and I would be devastated if she lost her home considering she only has $2500 left on her loan. she has experienced a very sad childhood and thats probably why she has been having so many mental problems recently shes only 49 years old but yet she has lived a very painful life, when she was a young child she seen her mother take her own life, along with very abusive behavior from her mother towards her and brother, my mom would tell me horrible stories about her and her brother being toddler aged would have to hunt for food in the cabinets because there mother was to sick to fix them something to eat, so they would eat a bottle full of chewable vitamins because they were so hungry. there mother had epilepsy which caused very bad seizures, and I guess she just couldnt take the pain anymore so she ended her short life at 29, after this tragedy my mom and her brother where in and out of different foster homes. but that didnt discourage her from being the best mother to her children, and a wonderful independent women, she raised her children by herself without any help from anyone not even from the gov., she help everyone she possibly could she cleaned a sweet old ladys home once a week because she was sick with cancer, another older lady thats shes close too, she felt bad for one year because she told her she was upset because she couldnt afford to buy her grandbabies Christmas gifts that year, so my mom searched all the goodwills to gather toys for the lady’s grandbabies and surprised her with the toys that Christmas! My mom could do anything on her own before she got sick, she could work on her own vehicle, sew up clothes, drapes, anything, she’s an artist, there’s nothing she couldn’t do, Im just so distraught to see her like this she was always so strong but now I think all those bad moments in her life has caught up with her, please help me pay off her home.