Strong Tags

I am faced with an impossible request I think. 3 years ago I was a strong, confident woman, 13 credit hours away from a BS in Biology with plan of going to graduate school. I was in an extremely abusive relationship with a man that I had to assist authorities in putting in prison. The same man left his daughter in my custody under the pretenses that her mother had abandoned her. I cared for her for two years as the only mother she knew before I found out that he had in fact kept her from her real mother and I had to return her to her biological mother. That same man sent people after me to attack me later and forced me to fear for my life. I still do.

I now understand that I was dealing with a psychopath.

After that man was incarcerated I tried to rebuild and began a relationship with another man who later went to prison for a charge that he accepted for someone else basically. While he was incarcerated my best friend of over 20 year died of unknown and still unexplainable causes. Once the man that I was with came home I then suffered two miscarriages.

I am told by my physicians that the constant state of being in a heightened and frightened state caused post traumatic stress disorder which led to an anxiety disorder coupled with daily panic attacks and agoraphobia.

Due to my condition I lost my job and no longer have health insurance. I am unable to drive or leave my house 90% of the time. I have been hospitalized on several occasions in an attempt to control the anxiety and depression that seem to only be getting worse. I feel over medicated but still as if nothing is working.

My physicians have suggested a residential psychatric program that would last approximately 30-45 days to assist me in in getting a handle on these conditions and assist me in regaining control of my life. However these programs are all self pay even if I did have insurance and range from 40-60,000 for the complete care in a facilty that can handle both the medical and therapeutic side of psychiatric care.

There is simply no way that I can accomplish this, but I feel as if I am slipping away and I am scared that I will never come back.

I just want my life back. To be free from these nightmares, this panic, these fears and to not live my life on medications that due nothing but make me a zombie. I had a life and a plan, I was going somewhere, and now I can't even leave my house for weeks sometimes months at a time.

My parents have basically been placed in financial ruin to assist me during this time, and they can no longer assist me. I am scared beyond words, If I don't find a way to get help, to get better, I fear for what will happen to me, how I will live, pay bills, work, be a functinal member of society.

I feel that committing to a residential program as suggested is my only option left, my only option for survival. I am desperate and scared. But I don't know how to accomplish what seems to be the only hope.

Please Help, someone please throw me a rope, I am desperate, lost in a dark pit somewhere, I can't see out, there seems to be no way out......I need a rope.....Please help.

I am a wise genuinely trustworthy woman and straightshooter..I will not exaggerate to make my situation out to be worse than it is. I have been out of work for a few months and I am in need of approximately
$3000 to stay in my home I've been renting for eight years. Its also the house I was raised in so it's meaningful to my kids and I even though I'm just renting..I was raised to be a caring empathetic person and I can relate to a kind giving soul like that of a person who is thoughtful enough to donate to the less fortunate..when it boils down,I am in this situation simply because I refuse to tolerate any man whose heart is in the wrong place. Ive had alot of terrible things happen to me in my life as many have ..but most of it I would not change if I could ...this spot I'm in now~is one I would change if I could go back :-).... I've put alot of blood swear and tears into keeping my home for my kids. I fell into a depression during the holidays and I've had bad luck since then. But now finally I have found some faith deep in my heart that I can turn this nightmare around ..I'm regretful for letting myself get as weak as I did.I am feeling strong enough to fight again. I just need a miracle to help me keep my home..I thank you and would be eternally grateful and. I will not let myself or my kids or buddy or p-nut (my dog and cat)..down again. I believe there's a reason why this is happening..I never in my life thought I would be spending a beautiful day like today on a begging website ..It really opens my eyes to a different light..in a strange scary but good way.. I am begging. I hope I never
have to say those words again..at least not for this reason!

I recently got out of a Long term relationship with a girl who was unwilling to look for a job. She left me ib this relationship with $19,000 in credit card debt, wrn i already have almost $60,000 in student loans that i can barely pay back. I was laid off in 2008 and had to take a series of odd jobs over the past few years before finally settling in with my current position at $3 an hour less than I was making. I am currently living I. My friends basement because adter taxes my take home is only 1200 a month. My bare minimum payments combined with the 500 a month I give them for rent and food I am left with just enough to stay alive.

As a practitioner of Buddhist meditation, I have a strong belief in the power of karma and losing kindness. I am not asking for a complete bail out but I have faith that there is someone out there that has te means and desire to help out. A large portion of my credit card debt was built up after offering up my car to help those in need, including my ex. If these bills were at the very least lessened, I would have the financials and to continue to help those in needs which is something hat I draw much happiness from.

If you Have the means and te desire to help me get back in my feet i promise you that I will return that generosity to others based in your example. Thank you

If you have questions email me at thatgraphicsguy@yahoo.com

I am a single mother of one 7yr old that is more than a gift!! I had to step down from college for a little while when I got pregnant to earn money. I cant afford it as long as im trying to save my home. I have went through health issues, lost my job, depression, struggles and a lot of spirit breaking situations, but surprisingly im still standing and fighting! This house was the only house that I have ever known as well as my son. I bought the house from my parents when they were going through a divorce that forced the hand of them selling the house so in an effort to save my best memories and something thats been in the family since '82 I took the responsibility. I've been trying to fight against the odds my whole life so in my last effort against defeat I've came here to try and save my home!! I have court on Thursday to find out how much time I have before they completely forclose, but if anybody and I mean anybody out there can help please!!!! Every dollar counts because I have no where to turn and I need approximately $10,000 to save my home!! I dont know how much fight I have left in me and im trying to keep strong in front of my son since we have nowhere to go or no help!! Pride aside thanks in advance for anything that u can give and I will humble myself dramatically to protect my son. I just found a new job and praying its not too late!!

To my babies,

1) You will always be safe.
2 There is no such thing as a Boogie Man.
3) You can always come home.
4) I will always be here for you.
5) There will always be laughter and singing and dancing.
6) The sun always comes up,even on cloudy days.
7) You will never have to worry, I can fix it.
8) Study hard and you will go somewhere in life.
9) Be good to yourself and others.
10) When you're wrong, say your sorry.

16 years that flew by...

To my teenagers,

1) Danger may find you, be stronger, faster, and smarter.
2) You will sometimes be afraid, but I will comfort you.
3) Home is where your heart is, no matter where, no matter the circumstances that seperate you.
4) I will always be where you are when you need me.
5) There may be days of quiet and the dancing subdued, but sometimes you see a rainbow on the rainiest days.
6) Sometimes the sun stays hidden behind the clouds, but its warmth is still felt down here on the ground.
7) Sometimes you have to fix it yourself, but I will stand beside your while you try.
8) Study hard anyway, even if your dreams are not what you wished for, the journey there is the just a small twist in the road.
9) Love with integrity and honor, even when it's difficult, even when it's not returned. Believe in love.
10) Forgive yourself when you ask others to forgive you. You are worth it.

I hope you will not see the struggles we face, the house we are in danger of losing, or the tears on my pillow late at night. I hope you never see my quiet desperation and uncertainty. I hope you never know that I’ve lost my job to budget cuts 5 times, just like I have now. I hope you cannot see the moments of hopelessness in my heart and how much I have aged in such a short time. I hope you remember how strong your Mama is and how I would do anything for you both. There is no SuperMom, just an ordinary Mom in extraordinary circumstances. And one last thing…..when you are given to, it is always with a promise that you will in some way give back.

Love, Love, Love,

The Third Musketeer

Please help us. Thank you

To my babies,

1) You will always be safe.
2 There is no such thing as a Boogie Man.
3) You can always come home.
4) I will always be here for you.
5) There will always be laughter and singing and dancing.
6) The sun always comes up,even on cloudy days.
7) You will never have to worry, I can fix it.
8) Study hard and you will go somewhere in life.
9) Be good to yourself and others.
10) When you're wrong, say your sorry.

16 years that flew by...

To my teenagers,

1) Danger may find you, be stronger, faster, and smarter.
2) You will sometimes be afraid, but I will comfort you.
3) Home is where your heart is, no matter where, no matter the circumstances that seperate you.
4) I will always be where you are when you need me.
5) There may be days of quiet and the dancing subdued, but sometimes you see a rainbow on the rainiest days.
6) Sometimes the sun stays hidden behind the clouds, but its warmth is still felt down here on the ground.
7) Sometimes you have to fix it yourself, but I will stand beside your while you try.
8) Study hard anyway, even if your dreams are not what you wished for, the journey there is the just a small twist in the road.
9) Love with integrity and honor, even when it's difficult, even when it's not returned. Believe in love.
10) Forgive yourself when you ask others to forgive you. You are worth it.

I hope you will not see the struggles we face, the house we are in danger of losing, or the tears on my pillow late at night. I hope you never see my quiet desperation and uncertainty. I hope you never know that I’ve lost my job to budget cuts 5 times, just like I have now. I hope you cannot see the moments of hopelessness in my heart and how much I have aged in such a short time. I hope you remember how strong your Mama is and how I would do anything for you both. There is no SuperMom, just an ordinary Mom in extraordinary circumstances. And one last thing…..when you are given to, it is always with a promise that you will in some way give back.

Love, Love, Love,

The Third Musketeer

Please help us. Thank you

To my babies,

1) You will always be safe.
2 There is no such thing as a Boogie Man.
3) You can always come home.
4) I will always be here for you.
5) There will always be laughter and singing and dancing.
6) The sun always comes up,even on cloudy days.
7) You will never have to worry, I can fix it.
8) Study hard and you will go somewhere in life.
9) Be good to yourself and others.
10) When you're wrong, say your sorry.

16 years that flew by...

To my teenagers,

1) Danger may find you, be stronger, faster, and smarter.
2) You will sometimes be afraid, but I will comfort you.
3) Home is where your heart is, no matter where, no matter the circumstances that seperate you.
4) I will always be where you are when you need me.
5) There may be days of quiet and the dancing subdued, but sometimes you see a rainbow on the rainiest days.
6) Sometimes the sun stays hidden behind the clouds, but its warmth is still felt down here on the ground.
7) Sometimes you have to fix it yourself, but I will stand beside your while you try.
8) Study hard anyway, even if your dreams are not what you wished for, the journey there is the just a small twist in the road.
9) Love with integrity and honor, even when it's difficult, even when it's not returned. Believe in love.
10) Forgive yourself when you ask others to forgive you. You are worth it.

I hope you will not see the struggles we face, the house we are in danger of losing, or the tears on my pillow late at night. I hope you never see my quiet desperation and uncertainty. I hope you never know that I’ve lost my job to budget cuts 5 times, just like I have now. I hope you cannot see the moments of hopelessness in my heart and how much I have aged in such a short time. I hope you remember how strong your Mama is and how I would do anything for you both. There is no SuperMom, just an ordinary Mom in extraordinary circumstances. And one last thing…..when you are given to, it is always with a promise that you will in some way give back.

Love, Love, Love,

The Third Musketeer

Please help us. Thank you

To:The Concerned Person
From: Mr. Danish Hussain
Subject: Please! arrange the amount 1500 U.S. dollar for me as loan. I am mechanical engineer from Pakistan. I am having just 50 USD in my bank account and urgently need money.
Date: 13-05-2012

Respectfully Addressing,
The Concerned Person

Hi Sir, Please! arrange the amount 1500 U.S. dollar for me as loan so that I may hire a hitec detective (e.g. Mr. Jay @ detectives.com) who can collect all the required evidences of people harassing me & spoiling my life, for the police to action and rescue me from worst torture & immense losses of time & money.

Sir, This is Danish Hussain, mechanical engineer. Sir, I am listening voices in my home, office, library, on streets, with me all the time, 24hrs. A group of influential people are teasing me with words & statements. Am helpless. The teasers are teasing me with a super station sort device & this teasing from people goes with me whereever I go, wherever I am. They can listen me, see me and generate sound in my home, office, shop, streets everywhere, those sounds are recordable and am having videos of all that but police needs strong evidences who the teasers are, from where they are teasing me as no one in the video. Losses faced by this teasing are 8 jobs (as soon as I get job I lose it because the boss finds I am always lost, delivering no work just time passing in my probation), interviews (for the same reason), marriage proposals, no earnings for big durations. No improvement in living status whatever earned in 1 or 2 months get spent as I become jobless again. Next month, will be joining a Chinese firm. But before that, please help by arranging a loan for me else will be soon fired again. Please! arrange the amount 1500 U.S. dollar for me as loan so that I may hire a hitec detective (e.g. Mr. Jay @ detectives.com) who can collect all the required evidences of people harassing me & spoiling my life, for the police to action and rescue me from worst torture & immense losses of time & money. I am in Karachi, Pakistan.Thank you very much.

I look forward for your reply. Bye Bye. Take Care

Am waiting for your reply.
Tenderly.
Mr. Hussain

I need money for an apartment. I am currently living with my ex boyfriend because I would otherwise be homeless. He is emotionally and physically abusive and it is extremely difficult living with him. He wants me to move out as soon as possible, but no later than the end of July. I found an apartment for $700 a month, but need a few thousand to move in--deposit, furniture, two months rent.

I have a job but I barely make enough to pay my bills. I can't even buy myself groceries. I apply for other jobs every day and never get them. I am a college graduate and am intelligent and would appear to be pretty normal if you saw me at the store. But I have slept in my car when my ex boyfriend has kicked me out at times and I fear I will be living in it soon. It wouldn't be too bad, I guess, but I have cats and it's impossible for my cats to live in my car.

I am a good person and always try to help other people whenever I can. I just need a little help now. I have no friends or family anywhere in the area and I feel hopeless. I have had a hard life, from an abusive childhood to where I am today, but I am strong. I am positive about my future, if only someone would be willing to help me today.

Even a very small amount would be appreciated.

Hello, and thank you for taking time to read my post. I am a 21 year old single mother to a little girl. I am struggling to make ends meet, and I'm having a hard time staying strong for my little girl. My ex husband has been unemployed. Therefore, I do not recieve any financial help from him. If you're a parent, you know that daycare is very expensive. I simply cannot do it all on my own. I need your help. I am a very prideful person, and do not like asking for help, but I do not know what else to do. I owe $400, and have sold things, thought of odd jobs, but have still come up shorthanded. So, please help us. I want to be able to provide for my daughter and keep a roof over her head. She will be 2 in a few months, and I want her to have a "home."

I am a very confident lady of 30, I have been supporting and teaching myself how to live unsupported on my own for half my life,I started life well living on a farm in the country side with my Mum and Sister, then my mum meet her future husband and my step father, we didn't get on and soon he marked his authority, he would deprive me of food and call me sleighs of names when my mum wasn't around, then it got to the point that my mum would support his actions, he turned vilolant in the end and I moved out at 17....I felt strong but didn't know what was really instore, I had to work hard to make ends meet and have made a few errors along the way, however I am proud to say I've done ok, I am about £5000 in debt maybe a little more, I know there would seem to be nothing to be proud of, but some of my friends with supportive family have alot more debt over 15 years, it has come to the point in my life where I beg that someone out there who has some spare money will help me out, I'm tired of struggling to pay off my debts and missing out on life because of it, I cannot afford to eat at all at the moment and my rent is late :(.....I believe I am an Investment into the future as once my debts are paid and I am freeto start again I will have great protienal and experience to make money and use it wisely even to the point that one day I myself will be in a position to help others .If you would like to make any footprint on my future I beg you to donate to me via paypal. Kindest regards Friend x

I'm a single mother aged 35. I've lived in California for almost 14 years ( it will be 15 this year on memorial day weekend.)
I’m going to be a little blunt, because I'm tired and I want to give up so bad, but I can't. I'm better than that and my kids are my motivator. I wake up everyday and remind myself of 2 things :1) Faith is what you have when you all your beliefs are blown to hell. 2) What doesn't kill you makes you stronger -Nietzsche

I am a 35 year old educated, ambitious, head strong woman. I have owned my own business with my soon to be ex. I know what hard work and determination are. I went to private school and I am educated. I value my community and have always given back and will continue to do so. I also know that I have the drive and determination to get myself back on track. I'm not ASKING for a handout, I'm asking for help up! I also know what loss is. I don't have the business, a house or EVEN the car anymore. We lost everything. He bounced back , I didn’t. All I have is HOPE, that someone or some program can help me carve a path back to self sufficiency.
It's gone continually downhill.I am amazed at the allotment of programs for both housing and employment for all different walks of life. However, what about those that are just struggling. No hang ups, no record, just struggling and are LOW INCOME. I'm not writing this to make you feel sorry, I'm writing this because I have exhausted possibilities that I have researched both on my own or been given the information to do the work with.
There are people who struggle everyday through no fault of their own. They don't want a hand out, but help up would be a relief. Society doesn't need band-aids they need solutions.
Not every county, city or state program fits everyone's needs.
First of all Section 8 has been closed since BEFORE I left my marriage so that idea could never work. The list has been closed for years. Because I have limited time with my children, I do not qualify for CALWORKS. I have tried getting assistance in every way possible. I had very little unemployment left since I have been struggling to find work. I was delayed for about 3 months because they needed verification and I had to appeal and request a hearing. I have won my appeal but will only receive $91/week and for a short period of time.
I took a project management class through WIA in 2011, and I was able to get CTB benefits. I NEED HELP. I have hit the absolute worst point in my life and still refuse to give up. I have been looking for work and am now HOMELESS.I am in week 3 of staying in an extended stay hotel (paid for by my mother back east, who makes maybe $26,000/yr in PA) I recently sold my car because I needed to pay bills and rent. I have maybe $75 to my name.
The fact that they say there are services for low income/ homeless is frustrating. I say this because there is no category for me. I'm not a drug addict or in recovery. I don't have a mental illness. I wasn't in prison, I don’t' even have a RECORD. I can proudly say I've never been arrested or even in the back of a cop car. I'm not a victim of domestic violence and I do not beat my kids. Why aren't there programs in place for single parents struggling to make it? Everyday people that are responsible and respectable. I understand the need to assist those that may not have the capacity to take care of themselves. However, I have a huge problem with the fact that Santa Clara County & all programs (private, govt or state funded) will rehabilitate and reintroduced felons into the community, but if you're poor, homeless, no record, are looking for work, have high intelligence; sorry, you can't get help. This sounds extremely cynical and jaded, but I am a little after going through all I have.
I have been told constantly “I wish I could do something but we don't have any programs to help you.” My favorite reply is: "Yeah and you have done everything. I'm surprised you even knew about all the programs you did"
I have talked to employment counselors, program coordinators, program advocates and case managers, volunteers, just about anyone. The bankruptcy is hindering my chances of securing housing, even if I had employment.

The icing on the cake has to be with food stamps and General Assistance. I qualified for Cal-Fresh. However, at the time I had a car worth $2200. So I wasn't able to get General Assistance. Fast Forward a year later, I HAD to sell my car to pay bills. Now this month when I went for General Assistance, I qualify.

It's a never ending cycle, a constant push down. I can take public transportation to work, but to get around and see my boys and being able to transport them would be extremely difficult, not to mention financially stressing. I have scoured employment books, read articles, searched the library, spent hours online trying to find a job, program, a company, anybody who could be a resource whether for low income assistance or employment.
I can probably tell you about a plethora of services this county (Santa Clara) offers for both income assistance and job services.I am registered with CALJOBS; I know all the career sites and have my resume there. I get interviews, however I am starting to think the bankruptcy from loss of business is holding me back when employers do background check.
I also could teach the business writing class or the resume writing classes they offer at Work2Future, I practically did when I took them. I could do the same at Sacred Heart. I've been to InnVision and EHC. I’ve talked to Sunnyvale Community Services. Boy he was a treat he sounded older then my 80 yr old grandma. When I said I need housing and employment help, he gruffly told me to check the newspaper and hung up. I've called St Josephs in Gilroy. I've talked to a program coordinator at West Valley Community Services. I called the Sobrato Organization hoping they had ties to something and one the employees just by grace of god happened to pick up and take my call. I was able to talk to someone at HIF (they couldn't help)
.
I am responsible, respectable and just want to work, have a place to live, and be able to have my children 50/50. I have no police record. I am not in recovery, nor have I ever had to be in a program
I want to work and am attaching a compilation of ALL my work skills. I would not send this out otherwise, I would tailor it specifically to the job I am applying for.

I used to volunteer as much as I could I like being active in my community and helping others. I'm still about that I believe in PAY IT FORWARD. I believe the good you do comes back to you tenfold and that no matter what is going wrong in your life, someone else is struggling just as much if not more; so be thankful for what you have.
I attend church and was a hospitality volunteer for that as well.
I just need help getting on my feet. I have no family, other than my children here in CA.
I do not want to move back east and be far away from them. I want to work, I want to live again. I want to smile and mean it.

I hate what my life has become and know that I am SO MUCH BETTER THEN THIS.
Please help me : money is fine, but it's only a temporary fix, please help me find a program that can assist me in getting on my feet, direct me to employment, and most of all afford me the opportunity to have my children much more consistently so I can be a mom again.
Thank you
Courtney DiMiceli

Im a second year architect student studying abroad away from the family. I ahve been going through a financeial disaster since january..i still haven't paid half of my course fee and the hostel fee. My parents were strong enough to send me money for past year whenever i wanted.
Unfortunately, at the moment my mom is suffering from diabetics and my dad had to drop the job to take care of her. I kindly request you to help me with some amount to live until i finish my degree. god bless!

The last two years have been rather unfortunate. I was going to school, had a good job and a relationship of 5 years. Then my father died, and I had to move my mother with dementia into my home. This caused strain on my relationship and it ended. Then I was laid off. I didnt want to aquire more debt, so I stopped school. My mother also passed away several months ago. I am a strong person, and I dont give up. I have a new job (that pays 5 dollars less an hour) and I have faith things will turn around. But right now im 6 months behind on my student loans payments that I have to pay back since im not currently enrolled. I have maxed out my credit card. and I am near termination of my utilities. I also need several hundred dollars of work done to my car. I just want help to catch up on debt. I know I can manage with a tight budget if i can just knock out what ive fallen behind on. I work at a hospital helping people every day, and im an active member of the community including fundraising for AIDS and Animal shelters. Now I need someone to please help me.. Thank you

My daughter and I are in need of finding a place of our own. These past couple months have been extremely hard because of the death of my mother. We were all living together and my mom was splitting the rent with me and I was working to take care of her. She was sick with Cancer and she had the operation and we all thought she was going to be okay. She did not recover like we expected and she ended up going in a Rehabilitation Center and we visited her often until she came home. I am the youngest of her children. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister and we are called the Berry 5. We were allways known as the Berry Family from the time we were little. My mom started to do better and we were so happy to have her home. It came time for her to Start Chemotherapy and Radiation. She was scared but I and my sister talked her into it because we knew the doctors had told us that she needed it because the cancer had spread to her lymp nodes and when they did the surgery they were not able to get everything. My mom had done one week of Radiation and she went in for one session of Chemo. The same day she had Chemo she seemed fine and then 2 days later she was having fevers, throwing up and so extremely weak. I thought it was because of the Chemo because that is what was explained to us. My concern was she couldn't keep anything down. I needed to give her medication for her Diabetes and High Blood Pressure but everytime I gave her anything, it all came up and so I was so scared because her blood sugar was high and I didn't want it to get any higher. She began to complain of stomach pain and I thought it was another side effect of the Chemo. For a couple days of her vomiting and having diarrhea, I was able to get some fluids down her and it seemed to stay. Little by little we both thought she was doing better. Her strength was not there though, it was difficult for her to even get up to go to the bathroom. The following day she continued to vomit and I was scared so I told her she needed to go to the hospital, because I felt that they could help her more. They could give her medications through an IV and they could find out why she was so weak and everything. She was scared and did not want to go but I convinced her. The ambulance came and took her to the hospital. I tried to follow her but I had to pick up my 11 year old daughter from school. I did go and they would not let me go back right away. I told them my mom had been brought in and they told me she wasn't checked in yet. About 20 minutes passed and I went back up to the window and they told me they would see if the doctor would let me back there and they were saying my daughter couldn't come back there because she wasn't 14, I told them she is only 11 years old and I'm not leaving her in the waiting room with strangers and that she was coming back there with me. They finally let us in and we went back to see my mom. I couldn't believe they had her hooked up to so many machines and she was on morphine and so out of it. I walked up to her and I said Ma, I'm here and she turned and looked at me. She was happy to see me, but then she told me that they told her, they found blood in her stools. I told her it was probably just do to her Hemorrhoids. but she said they told her it was positive for something. I asked her for what and she didn't know. I began looking for the doctor so I could ask questions but he wasn't around and everyone I talked to told me the doctor would be in soon to go over my mom's condition. I stayed with my mom, just holding her hand, telling her I loved her and that she was going to be okay. They came in to take her to have an ultrasound and my daughter and I waited. The doctor finally came in and told me that my mom had an abcess in her stomach that had burst. I said what are you talking about? He said that she had a condition called peridonitis and that the abcess burst and was releasing all this poison inside her stomach and her blood pressure was dropping dramatically. He then told me it was too dangerous for them to operate at that time because her INR level to to high. My mom had been taking Cumadin for a blood clot that she previously had and the cumadin made her INR level extremely high and her blood was not clotting so they said if they did surgery, she would bleed out. They said they needed to correct it by giving her lots of blood products and they gave her all kinds of strong antibiotics and blood and plasma. They were pumping so much stuff into her, I didn't know what to do. Her blood pressure was like 85/60 and then like 76/40 and it was getting lower and lower. They had her hooked up to so many IVs and then they told me that she was the sickest person they had in the ER. So many doctors and interns and students and nurses overcrowded my mom's room. I called my sister and told her what was going on and she came down to be with me and my daughter. They told us they would do all they could for my mom but that it didn't look good. I began to pray, my mom had always taught me to pray and give things over to god. As the night went on, they decided to put an IV in my moms neck, they said it was more direct and if and when she went to surgery it would be better to have that in place. They made us leave the room and they had like 10 people in there with there machines and cameras and equipment to help guide them where to put the IV at. I had never gone through this before and I was so scared but I was keeping my faith. One doctor wanted to talk to me and my sister alone and I didn't want to hear him telling me anything negative. He asked us a lot of questions concerning my mom's health and history. He then told us that she was in acute renal failure and that her colon was damaged where the abcess bursts and fecal was being released into her abdomen. This is the last thing I wanted to hear. I asked him if they could fix it, he said they would do all they could but that their main focus was trying to bring her INR levels down because they were dangerously high. She was also anemic and that is why she was so weak, her blood level was extremely low. They were continuously giving her blood products, antibiotics and plasma. My sister decided to take my daughter home with her. I told her I would call her when I knew when they were going to do surgery. The surgeon had spoken to us and said that it was a good chance, and that operating was her only chance and once her blood level was corrected that they would go in and repair the damage. I felt some what relieved but as the night went on she was in a fight for her life. The main doctor working on my mom's case came and told me that her breathing was not getting any better and that he needed to put her to sleep so he could intubate her and put a breathing tube down her throat. He said it would be good to have anyways so that she would be ready when they went to surgery. There was nothing I could do except walk out of the room and wait. I continued to pray and wait and pray and wait. Hours went by and I would walk and peek inside the room and see my mom's blood pressure increasing some, this gave me hope but then the doctor would come and tell me it wasn't looking like she was improving and that we needed to prepare that she might not make it through the night. i couldn't believe what he was telling me. I called my sister and my brother and told them , they were praying as well. I didn't know who to listen to, one doctor is telling me it's hopeless and the surgeon is telling me it's a good chance she would be okay once taken to surgery. I sat in the hall because they wouldn't let me back in and they stayed with her at all times, monitoring her and giving her medicine and all the blood and stuff back to back. Then they came out in the hall and told me they were ready to take her to surgery. They said she might not hear you but you can still talk to her. I walked up to her lying there, so still and I told her how much I loved her and i told her to fight and that we would do it togther and that I would be here when she woke up and that I was not leaving her. The surgeon put me in the OR waiting room. I was all alone in there by myself. I waited and waited and only 20 mins went by and a security guard told me there was a cafe there and if I wanted to go grab a cup of coffee that I could. I went downstairs and got the coffee, as soon as I reached the OR floor I saw the surgeon standing there, he walked over to me and he said, I'm sorry but your mom's heart stopped during surgery and we revived her but then it stopped again and he said I don't we can get it back. My whole world just crumbled, I began screaming and crying and I fell to the floor. I was just askig God why. Why is this happening? This security lady came over to comfort me and began telling me how sorry she was and asked me if I had any family I could call. I called my sister and told her and she said she was on her way down. She lived in another city about 45 mins away. I was still on the ground just broken and this lady began to tell me that God would help me and give me the strength to go on. She asked me if I had any children, I told her I had a daughter, and she told me I needed to be strong for her. I wasn't trying to hear all that. My whole world was ripped right from under me. A couple of doctors and this lady helped me off the floor and the surgeon that came out , came out again and told me they would take me back to see her. They brought out a wheelchair and wheeled me back there and when they opened the door, my god I just saw them on top of her doing chest compressions and I was just screaming and then the surgeon is telling me I need to make a decision because everytime they do that, they are hurting her and he said, you don't want her to suffer anymore. I was just waiting on my sister4. I didn't want to make that call but I didn't want them pounding her chest in so I told them to stop. It killed in me inside. They wheeled me over to her and I just cried. My mom was only 60 years old and she had her whole life ahead of her and I don't understand why any of this happened. She was such a beautiful person and she had been a christian for 33 years. SHe loved the lord and she raised me and my siblings up in the church. I couldn't believe that she was gone because I had prayed and prayed and I just knew that God would spare her life. I lost my real father at the age of 16 and even then I didn't know him. I always had my mom and she remarried when I was 11 years old. She had been married for 19 years and my step father passed away in July of 2008. He was a sickly person and she took care of him and nursed him for all those years. He had diabetes, high blood pressure, prostate cancer, he was on dialysis for kidney failure, he had a four by pass surgery and he was in and out of the hospitals for years. She suffered so much seeing him suffer and taking care of him, he took what little strength she had. But because he was her husband she did all she could to help him and she loved him so much. So now all remains is just me and my siblings. It's hard because my mom was my best friend. I can't remember a time when she wasn't around. We did everything together and we lived together for years and I took care of her. I wanted so bad for her to be okay and to make it through surgery, I had been taught for years about the love of Jesus and I couldn't understand what he chose to take her away from her children and grandchildren. We had a two bedroom apartment and she had her room and my daughter and I shared a room. After she died, I went home that morning with my sister and I stayed over there for the remainder of the day. The whole day was just hurting, crying and calling the rest of the family. I felt so bad because my youngest brother, say youngest because he is the youngest of my 3 brothers, even though they are all older than me. He came to the hospital to see my mom but he thought she was still alive and the doctors didn't tell him, they let him in the room and she was already covered up and he walked in and was like, it's over ?? he couldn't believe it , he just broke down. One of the nurses that was in the OR called my sister and he was crying, apologizing to us because he thought my brother already knew. He told us how sorry he was. Now my family is broken, my mom was the rock that held us all together. We didn't have money growing up, we didn't have a lot of the finer things in life but we had love. She loved us like no one could. She did it all for her children and most importantly she taught us about God. She lived her life for Jesus, she would pray on a regular basis, read her bible daily, go to church often as she could and when things looked hopeless she took them to god in prayer. She prayed not only for her children, grandchildren and siblings but for people all over the world, she would pray for all the countries and for the sick and homeless and anyone she could pray for. She gave over the years endlessly to Trinity Broadcasting Network, Feed the children, CBN, David Terrell Ministries, Boys Town, Children International, Food For All and to so many others. Month after month, year after year she was giving. She taught us how to give and there were times when we would just make food and take it to the park to give to the homeless, bottled water, sandwiches, noodles, chicken or whatever we could. She would never turn down a person needing help or asking for spare change, she would give freely. She would tell me all the time, it's better to give than to receive and that god would bless me. So I began giving as well, I would call and donate and try to help whenever I could. My mom was also a big giver to the goodwill. Over the years we gave so much, and everytime they would ask if we wanted a donation paper for a tax write off she would say no. she didn't want that, she was giving freely and she didn't want anything in return. That's who she was, she was the person who would mentor you and talk to you about Jesus and how over the years he brought her and our family through so many trials and tribulations. SHe praised god for everything, for the good times and the bad. She used to always tell me to be thankful and to praise god. Now there were times when i was suffering so much and I didn't want to praise god, I wanted god to help me and at the time it seemed like he wasn't. My mom was always there to tell me baby, hold on.. give your burdens over to the lord and he will help you and supply all your needs. I realized that he did just that. I remember when she had surgery for the cancer and she was wondering why god allowed her to come down with that. It was hard for her because her faith was shaken then. She couldn't believe after she was faithful to him for so many years that he would allow her to suffer so horribly and there my sister and I were telling her that she would be okay, that God loved her still and he had not forsaken her and that he would bring her through this. She was so discouraged at the time but we would not let up. She couldn't believe this was her children mentoring and encouragiing her as she had done for us over the years. She told me, she was happy and she felt relieved that her living and everything she had taught us was not in vain. She was thankful to God that we were listening to her and by example we followed her footsteps. She began to get better and we thought she would be okay. My mom was a pure Christian, she didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, didn't curse. She would make you turn the tv channel if you were watching something that cursed. She loved her cowboys though. Her favorites were Bonanza, The rifle man, High Chapparal, Wagon Train, The Virginian and so many others. She also loved the old shows, the clean shows, the original dennis the menace, columbo, family affair, petticoat junction, I married joan, hawai five o, the streets of san francisco, i spy, murder she wrote, in the heat of the night, matlock, the big vally, dr quinn, little house on the prairie, family ties, good times, 227, what's happening, the jeffersons, the brady bunch and so many others. Her favorite game shows were The price is right, deal or no deal, let's make a deal, the newlywed game, match game and who wants to be a millionaire. I loved spending time with my mom, she was someone I could always talk to and she would never judge me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. She taught me how to carry myself as a lady and she taught me how to stand up for myself and I owe her so much. I felt like I let her down that night she was in the hospital and I told her she would be okay and that I would be waiting for her when she woke up but she never woke up. I felt that made me a liar. I had been taking care of my mom for months and I was preparing her meals, giving her medications on schedule and was taking her to her appointments and running errands for her. My mom had been weak for so long because before she found out she had cancer she was bleeding perfusely having vaginal bleeding and they made her very anemic. Before surgery she had 4 transfusions and then after surgery she had 2 more. She never got all her strength back and after she had the first surgery, she was too weak that they sent her to Ballard Rehabilitation and they were working on getting her strength back and getting her up and walking. She did so much better when she was in there and when she came home, they sent out a home health nurse, a physcialy therapist and an occupational therapist. They began doing exercises with her and the physical therapist thought it would benefit my mom to have some help with getting around. So she ordered her an walker , the kind that had a seat on it, she ordered her a wheel chair, a raised toilet seat with the rails and a shower chair and shower bench. So when my mom started walking more better she was using her walker all the time, it was helping her because she had the support to keep her from falling and when she got tired , she could just sit down. I did all I could to take care of her, on a daily basis. She was not strong enough to shower herself, so I bought the shower hose and I began to shower her daily, dress her and do everything for her but I loved her so much and I didn't care what I had to do, she was my mom. There were days when she thought she was a burden to me and she would tell me, that I work to hard and that she was sorry she was not able to do things for herself and i would immediately tell her to stop talking like that. I would tell her, she was my mom, I loved her and wanted to look after her and that she wasn't a burden on me. That she took care of me when I was little and over the years and now it was my turn to take care of her. She told me a couple weeks before she passed away , you said, you really stood by your mom, when all the others went on their way. you stood by your mom. She said, I don't know what I would have done with out you. She said I don't know how I would have made it and she said god is really going to bless you and he will remember everything you did for your mother. She told me how special I was and now that she is gone , I remember everything she ever told me. It has been so hard, going through all her things and seeing all the cards and letters she gave me over the years. Everybody keeps telling me it will get better but I don't see that happening. I can't go one day without crying for missing her so much. I am grateful because she is not in any more pain but I am hurting so badly without her. I have a big sister but we have never been that close, she seems to want to spend more time with me now but nobody could ever feel that empty space inside my heart for my mother. I recently moved in with my brother and I want so desperately for me and my daughter to be able to get a place of our own. It costs so much to pay for first and last months rent and I have this old 1994 car that has been giving me so much trouble and I am barely scraping along , just trying to make it. I would appreciate any help I am given. If anyone can find it in their heart to help me and my daughter move out and get our own place or simply help us with the day to day necessities, it would be greatly appreciated.

My daughter and I are in need of finding a place of our own. These past couple months have been extremely hard because of the death of my mother. We were all living together and my mom was splitting the rent with me and I was working to take care of her. She was sick with Cancer and she had the operation and we all thought she was going to be okay. She did not recover like we expected and she ended up going in a Rehabilitation Center and we visited her often until she came home. I am the youngest of her children. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister and we are called the Berry 5. We were allways known as the Berry Family from the time we were little. My mom started to do better and we were so happy to have her home. It came time for her to Start Chemotherapy and Radiation. She was scared but I and my sister talked her into it because we knew the doctors had told us that she needed it because the cancer had spread to her lymp nodes and when they did the surgery they were not able to get everything. My mom had done one week of Radiation and she went in for one session of Chemo. The same day she had Chemo she seemed fine and then 2 days later she was having fevers, throwing up and so extremely weak. I thought it was because of the Chemo because that is what was explained to us. My concern was she couldn't keep anything down. I needed to give her medication for her Diabetes and High Blood Pressure but everytime I gave her anything, it all came up and so I was so scared because her blood sugar was high and I didn't want it to get any higher. She began to complain of stomach pain and I thought it was another side effect of the Chemo. For a couple days of her vomiting and having diarrhea, I was able to get some fluids down her and it seemed to stay. Little by little we both thought she was doing better. Her strength was not there though, it was difficult for her to even get up to go to the bathroom. The following day she continued to vomit and I was scared so I told her she needed to go to the hospital, because I felt that they could help her more. They could give her medications through an IV and they could find out why she was so weak and everything. She was scared and did not want to go but I convinced her. The ambulance came and took her to the hospital. I tried to follow her but I had to pick up my 11 year old daughter from school. I did go and they would not let me go back right away. I told them my mom had been brought in and they told me she wasn't checked in yet. About 20 minutes passed and I went back up to the window and they told me they would see if the doctor would let me back there and they were saying my daughter couldn't come back there because she wasn't 14, I told them she is only 11 years old and I'm not leaving her in the waiting room with strangers and that she was coming back there with me. They finally let us in and we went back to see my mom. I couldn't believe they had her hooked up to so many machines and she was on morphine and so out of it. I walked up to her and I said Ma, I'm here and she turned and looked at me. She was happy to see me, but then she told me that they told her, they found blood in her stools. I told her it was probably just do to her Hemorrhoids. but she said they told her it was positive for something. I asked her for what and she didn't know. I began looking for the doctor so I could ask questions but he wasn't around and everyone I talked to told me the doctor would be in soon to go over my mom's condition. I stayed with my mom, just holding her hand, telling her I loved her and that she was going to be okay. They came in to take her to have an ultrasound and my daughter and I waited. The doctor finally came in and told me that my mom had an abcess in her stomach that had burst. I said what are you talking about? He said that she had a condition called peridonitis and that the abcess burst and was releasing all this poison inside her stomach and her blood pressure was dropping dramatically. He then told me it was too dangerous for them to operate at that time because her INR level to to high. My mom had been taking Cumadin for a blood clot that she previously had and the cumadin made her INR level extremely high and her blood was not clotting so they said if they did surgery, she would bleed out. They said they needed to correct it by giving her lots of blood products and they gave her all kinds of strong antibiotics and blood and plasma. They were pumping so much stuff into her, I didn't know what to do. Her blood pressure was like 85/60 and then like 76/40 and it was getting lower and lower. They had her hooked up to so many IVs and then they told me that she was the sickest person they had in the ER. So many doctors and interns and students and nurses overcrowded my mom's room. I called my sister and told her what was going on and she came down to be with me and my daughter. They told us they would do all they could for my mom but that it didn't look good. I began to pray, my mom had always taught me to pray and give things over to god. As the night went on, they decided to put an IV in my moms neck, they said it was more direct and if and when she went to surgery it would be better to have that in place. They made us leave the room and they had like 10 people in there with there machines and cameras and equipment to help guide them where to put the IV at. I had never gone through this before and I was so scared but I was keeping my faith. One doctor wanted to talk to me and my sister alone and I didn't want to hear him telling me anything negative. He asked us a lot of questions concerning my mom's health and history. He then told us that she was in acute renal failure and that her colon was damaged where the abcess bursts and fecal was being released into her abdomen. This is the last thing I wanted to hear. I asked him if they could fix it, he said they would do all they could but that their main focus was trying to bring her INR levels down because they were dangerously high. She was also anemic and that is why she was so weak, her blood level was extremely low. They were continuously giving her blood products, antibiotics and plasma. My sister decided to take my daughter home with her. I told her I would call her when I knew when they were going to do surgery. The surgeon had spoken to us and said that it was a good chance, and that operating was her only chance and once her blood level was corrected that they would go in and repair the damage. I felt some what relieved but as the night went on she was in a fight for her life. The main doctor working on my mom's case came and told me that her breathing was not getting any better and that he needed to put her to sleep so he could intubate her and put a breathing tube down her throat. He said it would be good to have anyways so that she would be ready when they went to surgery. There was nothing I could do except walk out of the room and wait. I continued to pray and wait and pray and wait. Hours went by and I would walk and peek inside the room and see my mom's blood pressure increasing some, this gave me hope but then the doctor would come and tell me it wasn't looking like she was improving and that we needed to prepare that she might not make it through the night. i couldn't believe what he was telling me. I called my sister and my brother and told them , they were praying as well. I didn't know who to listen to, one doctor is telling me it's hopeless and the surgeon is telling me it's a good chance she would be okay once taken to surgery. I sat in the hall because they wouldn't let me back in and they stayed with her at all times, monitoring her and giving her medicine and all the blood and stuff back to back. Then they came out in the hall and told me they were ready to take her to surgery. They said she might not hear you but you can still talk to her. I walked up to her lying there, so still and I told her how much I loved her and i told her to fight and that we would do it togther and that I would be here when she woke up and that I was not leaving her. The surgeon put me in the OR waiting room. I was all alone in there by myself. I waited and waited and only 20 mins went by and a security guard told me there was a cafe there and if I wanted to go grab a cup of coffee that I could. I went downstairs and got the coffee, as soon as I reached the OR floor I saw the surgeon standing there, he walked over to me and he said, I'm sorry but your mom's heart stopped during surgery and we revived her but then it stopped again and he said I don't we can get it back. My whole world just crumbled, I began screaming and crying and I fell to the floor. I was just askig God why. Why is this happening? This security lady came over to comfort me and began telling me how sorry she was and asked me if I had any family I could call. I called my sister and told her and she said she was on her way down. She lived in another city about 45 mins away. I was still on the ground just broken and this lady began to tell me that God would help me and give me the strength to go on. She asked me if I had any children, I told her I had a daughter, and she told me I needed to be strong for her. I wasn't trying to hear all that. My whole world was ripped right from under me. A couple of doctors and this lady helped me off the floor and the surgeon that came out , came out again and told me they would take me back to see her. They brought out a wheelchair and wheeled me back there and when they opened the door, my god I just saw them on top of her doing chest compressions and I was just screaming and then the surgeon is telling me I need to make a decision because everytime they do that, they are hurting her and he said, you don't want her to suffer anymore. I was just waiting on my sister4. I didn't want to make that call but I didn't want them pounding her chest in so I told them to stop. It killed in me inside. They wheeled me over to her and I just cried. My mom was only 60 years old and she had her whole life ahead of her and I don't understand why any of this happened. She was such a beautiful person and she had been a christian for 33 years. SHe loved the lord and she raised me and my siblings up in the church. I couldn't believe that she was gone because I had prayed and prayed and I just knew that God would spare her life. I lost my real father at the age of 16 and even then I didn't know him. I always had my mom and she remarried when I was 11 years old. She had been married for 19 years and my step father passed away in July of 2008. He was a sickly person and she took care of him and nursed him for all those years. He had diabetes, high blood pressure, prostate cancer, he was on dialysis for kidney failure, he had a four by pass surgery and he was in and out of the hospitals for years. She suffered so much seeing him suffer and taking care of him, he took what little strength she had. But because he was her husband she did all she could to help him and she loved him so much. So now all remains is just me and my siblings. It's hard because my mom was my best friend. I can't remember a time when she wasn't around. We did everything together and we lived together for years and I took care of her. I wanted so bad for her to be okay and to make it through surgery, I had been taught for years about the love of Jesus and I couldn't understand what he chose to take her away from her children and grandchildren. We had a two bedroom apartment and she had her room and my daughter and I shared a room. After she died, I went home that morning with my sister and I stayed over there for the remainder of the day. The whole day was just hurting, crying and calling the rest of the family. I felt so bad because my youngest brother, say youngest because he is the youngest of my 3 brothers, even though they are all older than me. He came to the hospital to see my mom but he thought she was still alive and the doctors didn't tell him, they let him in the room and she was already covered up and he walked in and was like, it's over ?? he couldn't believe it , he just broke down. One of the nurses that was in the OR called my sister and he was crying, apologizing to us because he thought my brother already knew. He told us how sorry he was. Now my family is broken, my mom was the rock that held us all together. We didn't have money growing up, we didn't have a lot of the finer things in life but we had love. She loved us like no one could. She did it all for her children and most importantly she taught us about God. She lived her life for Jesus, she would pray on a regular basis, read her bible daily, go to church often as she could and when things looked hopeless she took them to god in prayer. She prayed not only for her children, grandchildren and siblings but for people all over the world, she would pray for all the countries and for the sick and homeless and anyone she could pray for. She gave over the years endlessly to Trinity Broadcasting Network, Feed the children, CBN, David Terrell Ministries, Boys Town, Children International, Food For All and to so many others. Month after month, year after year she was giving. She taught us how to give and there were times when we would just make food and take it to the park to give to the homeless, bottled water, sandwiches, noodles, chicken or whatever we could. She would never turn down a person needing help or asking for spare change, she would give freely. She would tell me all the time, it's better to give than to receive and that god would bless me. So I began giving as well, I would call and donate and try to help whenever I could. My mom was also a big giver to the goodwill. Over the years we gave so much, and everytime they would ask if we wanted a donation paper for a tax write off she would say no. she didn't want that, she was giving freely and she didn't want anything in return. That's who she was, she was the person who would mentor you and talk to you about Jesus and how over the years he brought her and our family through so many trials and tribulations. SHe praised god for everything, for the good times and the bad. She used to always tell me to be thankful and to praise god. Now there were times when i was suffering so much and I didn't want to praise god, I wanted god to help me and at the time it seemed like he wasn't. My mom was always there to tell me baby, hold on.. give your burdens over to the lord and he will help you and supply all your needs. I realized that he did just that. I remember when she had surgery for the cancer and she was wondering why god allowed her to come down with that. It was hard for her because her faith was shaken then. She couldn't believe after she was faithful to him for so many years that he would allow her to suffer so horribly and there my sister and I were telling her that she would be okay, that God loved her still and he had not forsaken her and that he would bring her through this. She was so discouraged at the time but we would not let up. She couldn't believe this was her children mentoring and encouragiing her as she had done for us over the years. She told me, she was happy and she felt relieved that her living and everything she had taught us was not in vain. She was thankful to God that we were listening to her and by example we followed her footsteps. She began to get better and we thought she would be okay. My mom was a pure Christian, she didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, didn't curse. She would make you turn the tv channel if you were watching something that cursed. She loved her cowboys though. Her favorites were Bonanza, The rifle man, High Chapparal, Wagon Train, The Virginian and so many others. She also loved the old shows, the clean shows, the original dennis the menace, columbo, family affair, petticoat junction, I married joan, hawai five o, the streets of san francisco, i spy, murder she wrote, in the heat of the night, matlock, the big vally, dr quinn, little house on the prairie, family ties, good times, 227, what's happening, the jeffersons, the brady bunch and so many others. Her favorite game shows were The price is right, deal or no deal, let's make a deal, the newlywed game, match game and who wants to be a millionaire. I loved spending time with my mom, she was someone I could always talk to and she would never judge me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. She taught me how to carry myself as a lady and she taught me how to stand up for myself and I owe her so much. I felt like I let her down that night she was in the hospital and I told her she would be okay and that I would be waiting for her when she woke up but she never woke up. I felt that made me a liar. I had been taking care of my mom for months and I was preparing her meals, giving her medications on schedule and was taking her to her appointments and running errands for her. My mom had been weak for so long because before she found out she had cancer she was bleeding perfusely having vaginal bleeding and they made her very anemic. Before surgery she had 4 transfusions and then after surgery she had 2 more. She never got all her strength back and after she had the first surgery, she was too weak that they sent her to Ballard Rehabilitation and they were working on getting her strength back and getting her up and walking. She did so much better when she was in there and when she came home, they sent out a home health nurse, a physcialy therapist and an occupational therapist. They began doing exercises with her and the physical therapist thought it would benefit my mom to have some help with getting around. So she ordered her an walker , the kind that had a seat on it, she ordered her a wheel chair, a raised toilet seat with the rails and a shower chair and shower bench. So when my mom started walking more better she was using her walker all the time, it was helping her because she had the support to keep her from falling and when she got tired , she could just sit down. I did all I could to take care of her, on a daily basis. She was not strong enough to shower herself, so I bought the shower hose and I began to shower her daily, dress her and do everything for her but I loved her so much and I didn't care what I had to do, she was my mom. There were days when she thought she was a burden to me and she would tell me, that I work to hard and that she was sorry she was not able to do things for herself and i would immediately tell her to stop talking like that. I would tell her, she was my mom, I loved her and wanted to look after her and that she wasn't a burden on me. That she took care of me when I was little and over the years and now it was my turn to take care of her. She told me a couple weeks before she passed away , you said, you really stood by your mom, when all the others went on their way. you stood by your mom. She said, I don't know what I would have done with out you. She said I don't know how I would have made it and she said god is really going to bless you and he will remember everything you did for your mother. She told me how special I was and now that she is gone , I remember everything she ever told me. It has been so hard, going through all her things and seeing all the cards and letters she gave me over the years. Everybody keeps telling me it will get better but I don't see that happening. I can't go one day without crying for missing her so much. I am grateful because she is not in any more pain but I am hurting so badly without her. I have a big sister but we have never been that close, she seems to want to spend more time with me now but nobody could ever feel that empty space inside my heart for my mother. I recently moved in with my brother and I want so desperately for me and my daughter to be able to get a place of our own. It costs so much to pay for first and last months rent and I have this old 1994 car that has been giving me so much trouble and I am barely scraping along , just trying to make it. I would appreciate any help I am given. If anyone can find it in their heart to help me and my daughter move out and get our own place or simply help us with the day to day necessities, it would be greatly appreciated.

Hello my name is Mel and I am in emergency need of financial assistance as I left my job to finish my college degree last year. All was going well as I am 27 years old and I have my own place, car, and am very independent. My boyfriend was living with me for free and he drained my funds including my 401K retirement account that it took me seven years to build. The intention was he was going to pay me back and find a job as he was fired last July. Unfortunately, he never even tried. I spent all of my money around Christmas time spoiling his three children in which I was not allowed to be a part of their lives. He left me two months ago for their mother who is abusive and I have never been in such a bad financial situation in my life. I have managed to sell some of my belongings to cover last months rent. I am now actively looking for full time work and may have to not finish my Bachelor's degree in Sociology and I only have one semester left at the University. It is my goal to stand strong on my own two feet and I will do everything in my power to come back up from this and not let it bring me down. Any and all donations will help me until I can find employment as the economy is so bad I cannot find a decent job in my trade of Accounting/Office Management in my area. The good thing is once you hit the ground there is only once place to go from there and that is back up. I have no where else to turn or I would not be posting this on here. I hope that you can help someone today after reading this because there truly are genuine people out there in the world they are not all scammers. I happen to be one of the realest people, that is how I got in this sticky situation. God Bless you all.

Hello my name is Mel and I am in emergency need of financial assistance as I left my job to finish my college degree last year. All was going well as I am 27 years old and I have my own place, car, and am very independent. My boyfriend was living with me for free and he drained my funds including my 401K retirement account that it took me seven years to build. The intention was he was going to pay me back and find a job as he was fired last July. Unfortunately, he never even tried. I spent all of my money around Christmas time spoiling his three children in which I was not allowed to be a part of their lives. He left me two months ago for their mother who is abusive and I have never been in such a bad financial situation in my life. I have managed to sell some of my belongings to cover last months rent. I am now actively looking for full time work and may have to not finish my Bachelor's degree in Sociology and I only have one semester left at the University. It is my goal to stand strong on my own two feet and I will do everything in my power to come back up from this and not let it bring me down. Any and all donations will help me until I can find employment as the economy is so bad I cannot find a decent job in my trade of Accounting/Office Management in my area. The good thing is once you hit the ground there is only once place to go from there and that is back up. I have no where else to turn or I would not be posting this on here. I hope that you can help someone today after reading this because there truly are genuine people out there in the world they are not all scammers. I happen to be one of the realest people, that is how I got in this sticky situation. God Bless you all.

Hello my name is Mel and I am in emergency need of financial assistance as I left my job to finish my college degree last year. All was going well as I am 27 years old and I have my own place, car, and am very independent. My boyfriend was living with me for free and he drained my funds including my 401K retirement account that it took me seven years to build. The intention was he was going to pay me back and find a job as he was fired last July. Unfortunately, he never even tried. I spent all of my money around Christmas time spoiling his three children in which I was not allowed to be a part of their lives. He left me two months ago for their mother who is abusive and I have never been in such a bad financial situation in my life. I have managed to sell some of my belongings to cover last months rent. I am now actively looking for full time work and may have to not finish my Bachelor's degree in Sociology and I only have one semester left at the University. It is my goal to stand strong on my own two feet and I will do everything in my power to come back up from this and not let it bring me down. Any and all donations will help me until I can find employment as the economy is so bad I cannot find a decent job in my trade of Accounting/Office Management in my area. The good thing is once you hit the ground there is only once place to go from there and that is back up. I have no where else to turn or I would not be posting this on here. I hope that you can help someone today after reading this because there truly are genuine people out there in the world they are not all scammers. I happen to be one of the realest people, that is how I got in this sticky situation. God Bless you all.

Hello my name is Mel and I am in emergency need of financial assistance as I left my job to finish my college degree last year. All was going well as I am 27 years old and I have my own place, car, and am very independent. My boyfriend was living with me for free and he drained my funds including my 401K retirement account that it took me seven years to build. The intention was he was going to pay me back and find a job as he was fired last July. Unfortunately, he never even tried. I spent all of my money around Christmas time spoiling his three children in which I was not allowed to be a part of their lives. He left me two months ago for their mother who is abusive and I have never been in such a bad financial situation in my life. I have managed to sell some of my belongings to cover last months rent. I am now actively looking for full time work and may have to not finish my Bachelor's degree in Sociology and I only have one semester left at the University. It is my goal to stand strong on my own two feet and I will do everything in my power to come back up from this and not let it bring me down. Any and all donations will help me until I can find employment as the economy is so bad I cannot find a decent job in my trade of Accounting/Office Management in my area. The good thing is once you hit the ground there is only once place to go from there and that is back up. I have no where else to turn or I would not be posting this on here. I hope that you can help someone today after reading this because there truly are genuine people out there in the world they are not all scammers. I happen to be one of the realest people, that is how I got in this sticky situation. God Bless you all.

Hello my name is Mel and I am in emergency need of financial assistance as I left my job to finish my college degree last year. All was going well as I am 27 years old and I have my own place, car, and am very independent. My boyfriend was living with me for free and he drained my funds including my 401K retirement account that it took me seven years to build. The intention was he was going to pay me back and find a job as he was fired last July. Unfortunately, he never even tried. I spent all of my money around Christmas time spoiling his three children in which I was not allowed to be a part of their lives. He left me two months ago for their mother who is abusive and I have never been in such a bad financial situation in my life. I have managed to sell some of my belongings to cover last months rent. I am now actively looking for full time work and may have to not finish my Bachelor's degree in Sociology and I only have one semester left at the University. It is my goal to stand strong on my own two feet and I will do everything in my power to come back up from this and not let it bring me down. Any and all donations will help me until I can find employment as the economy is so bad I cannot find a decent job in my trade of Accounting/Office Management in my area. The good thing is once you hit the ground there is only once place to go from there and that is back up. I have no where else to turn or I would not be posting this on here. I hope that you can help someone today after reading this because there truly are genuine people out there in the world they are not all scammers. I happen to be one of the realest people, that is how I got in this sticky situation. God Bless you all.

Hello my name is Mel and I am in emergency need of financial assistance as I left my job to finish my college degree last year. All was going well as I am 27 years old and I have my own place, car, and am very independent. My boyfriend was living with me for free and he drained my funds including my 401K retirement account that it took me seven years to build. The intention was he was going to pay me back and find a job as he was fired last July. Unfortunately, he never even tried. I spent all of my money around Christmas time spoiling his three children in which I was not allowed to be a part of their lives. He left me two months ago for their mother who is abusive and I have never been in such a bad financial situation in my life. I have managed to sell some of my belongings to cover last months rent. I am now actively looking for full time work and may have to not finish my Bachelor's degree in Sociology and I only have one semester left at the University. It is my goal to stand strong on my own two feet and I will do everything in my power to come back up from this and not let it bring me down. Any and all donations will help me until I can find employment as the economy is so bad I cannot find a decent job in my trade of Accounting/Office Management in my area. The good thing is once you hit the ground there is only once place to go from there and that is back up. I have no where else to turn or I would not be posting this on here. I hope that you can help someone today after reading this because there truly are genuine people out there in the world they are not all scammers. I happen to be one of the realest people, that is how I got in this sticky situation. God Bless you all.

People always say that you can get to where you want to be if your ambition is strong enough.

I work a full-time job and pay for everything I own with no help. I'm caught in a cycle, earning only enough to get me through the month. Always budgeting, always trying to stretch every last cent in my pocket. Honestly, it disgusts me...

I am only 20 years old. I have huge dreams and a ton of ideas, which I fear will never be able to flourish if I just continue doing nothing about it.

Your donations will go towards my education. I have currently stopped going to school because I am stuck paying for everything in-between. With your help I can return and take pre-pharmacy courses.

Anything you are willing to offer is greatly appreciated.
All I ask is that you give me a chance to break the cycle I am trapped in.

Thank you very much for your time and thoughtfulness.

Because I believe in the power of prayer & the kindness of my fellow man, I've decided to swallow my pride & ask for help. This is not an action I am at all familiar with but am grasping at every straw to attempt to keep a roof over my family's head. We live in a modest house that we've called home for the past 20+ years.

I am a single mother who's been truly blessed with 4, beautiful, healthy children; 3 biological & a foster son that joined our family when he was 12…..he is now 23. My kids are the reason I continue to battle through what has been the most challenging, darkest phase of my 50 years on this Earth.

In the summer of 2011, life, as my family knew it, was forever changed. My son got off the school bus & proceeded to enter a crime scene upon opening the front door of the house we call home. It was immediately clear that we were victims of a daytime home invasion and robbery. A trail of splinters led straight to my bedroom door, which had been demolished in the process of gaining entrance & access to my personal belongings. Robbers took my box of trash bags & proceeded to fill them with anything that could be sold or traded. I came home to find that they had stolen everything of value that I had worked for in my 50 years of existence & everything of value that my kids cherished as well.

It didn't happen often, but on the occasion that I had a few extra dollars to spend on myself, I found pleasure in buying nice jewelry. Through the years, I had managed to accumulate a nice collection. Also, as a child, my father & I shared an interest in coin collecting. I had managed to hold on to several interesting coins my dad & I found. Weekly, he also, gave me & my brothers our allowance of a fifty cent piece each. I had somehow managed to hold on to many of these as well. I stored my coin collection in the bottom portion of my large armoire. This area is what my family referred to as "the safe." Anything of value, particularly sentimental, was given to me to be protected in the safe. A couple good examples are my, then, 10 year old son's game ball for hitting the Championship game winning grand slam home run & my daughter's horse riding medals, show jewelry & accessories, as well as a silver handled knife & sheath…….the only personal possession my foster son owned from his childhood. I carry a tremendous amount of guilt for not doing a better job of safe guarding my family's precious & dear possessions.

In addition to the lingering guilt, the robbery also resulted in life altering psychological effects to me & my family. I continue to wonder if & when I will ever fully recover & be the secure, self confident person I was before the robbery. Immediately following the break-in, I was consumed by finding out who was responsible & ways of obtaining this information…..I could think of nothing else. After several weeks of frantic guessing & running wild goose chases, I started to realize that regaining possession of my property was less likely as each day went by. I could feel myself falling into a dark, lonely place with deep despair…..& unfortunately, I was content to be there. For the next several months, I could not work, did not eat or sleep & rarely came out of my bedroom. There was a film in my head that ran & reran the events leading up to & immediately following the robbery…..filled with the "I should've"s, "I could've"s and "what ifs." I am plagued with distrust & no longer find interest in much of anything. I was robbed of far more than just pieces of property…..they stole my trust in mankind, my desire to thrive, my faith in the world & my sanity.

I have worked as a medical school curriculum manager for 21 years. As a result of my mental decline, I was unable to work for over three months which, consequentially, made it difficult to pay all of the bills. I managed to rob Peter to pay Paul for several months & kept up with everything except for my house payment. It is now in arrears nearly $5,000.00 & I am out of resources. For the first time in my life, I am facing foreclosure. It is embarrassing & humiliating & I don't know how to tell my kids that they are likely to have no place to call home in the very near future. I feel like such a failure! Even though I've been an exemplary employee for many years, as a consequence of the self doubting & tremendous stress, I am now faced with the strong potential of losing my job due to my inability to focus & my lack of desire to face each day, As if this wasn't enough for one person to handle, I am also witnessing the daily decline of my father & my hero due to end stage Parkinson's & Alzheimer's.

I'm not sure how this begging website works but if there is someone out there that is willing to make me a loan & work out a payment arrangement, I promise not to let you down.....you will be repaid! I am working hard to battle the persisting PTSD symptoms that continue to plague me. I just worry that facing homelessness may be more than I can handle. Lord, I hand it over to You coz I come to You a broken, wounded angel. I thank you for any consideration and appreciate all prayers. May God bless you many times & in many ways for your generosity & kindness!

Because I believe in the power of prayer & the kindness of my fellow man, I've decided to swallow my pride & ask for help. This is not an action I am at all familiar with but am grasping at every straw to attempt to keep a roof over my family's head. We live in a modest house that we've called home for the past 25 years.

I am a single mother who's been truly blessed with 4, beautiful, healthy children; 3 biological & a foster son that joined our family when he was 12…..he is now 23. My kids are the reason I continue to battle through what has been the most challenging, darkest phase of my 50 years on this Earth.

In the summer of 2011, life, as my family knew it, was forever changed. My son got off the school bus & proceeded to enter a crime scene upon opening the front door of the house we call home. It was immediately clear that we were victims of a daytime home invasion and robbery. A trail of splinters led straight to my bedroom door, which had been demolished in the process of gaining entrance & access to my personal belongings. Robbers took my box of trash bags & proceeded to fill them with anything that could be sold or traded. I came home to find that they had stolen everything of value that I had worked for in my 50 years of existence & everything of value that my kids cherished as well.

It didn't happen often, but on the occasion that I had a few extra dollars to spend on myself, I found pleasure in buying nice jewelry. Through the years, I had managed to accumulate a nice collection. Also, as a child, my father & I shared an interest in coin collecting. I had managed to hold on to several interesting coins my dad & I found. Weekly, he also, gave me & my brothers our allowance of a fifty cent piece each. I had somehow managed to hold on to many of these as well. I stored my coin collection in the bottom portion of my large armoire. This area is what my family referred to as "the safe." Anything of value, particularly sentimental, was given to me to be protected in the safe. A couple good examples are my, then, 10 year old son's game ball for hitting the Championship game winning grand slam home run & my daughter's horse riding medals, show jewelry & accessories, as well as a silver handled knife & sheath…….the only personal possession my foster son owned from his childhood. I carry a tremendous amount of guilt for not doing a better job of safe guarding my family's precious & dear possessions.

In addition to the lingering guilt, the robbery also resulted in other life altering psychological effects to me & my family. I continue to wonder if & when I will ever fully recover & be the secure, self confident person I was before the robbery. Immediately following the break-in, I was consumed by finding out who was responsible & ways of obtaining this information…..I could think of nothing else. After several weeks of frantic guessing & running wild goose chases, I started to realize that regaining possession of my property was less likely as each day went by. I could feel myself falling into a dark, lonely place accompanied by deep despair…..& unfortunately, I was content to be there. For the next several months, I could not work, did not eat or sleep & rarely came out of my bedroom. There was a film in my head that ran & reran the events leading up to & immediately following the robbery…..filled with the "I should've"s, "I could've"s and "what ifs." I am plagued with distrust & no longer find interest in much of anything. I was robbed of far more than just pieces of property…..they stole my trust in mankind, my desire to thrive, my faith in the world & my sanity.

I have worked as a medical school curriculum manager for 21 years. As a result of my mental decline, I was unable to work for over three months which, consequentially, made it difficult to pay all of the bills. I managed to rob Peter to pay Paul for several months & kept up with everything except for my house payment. It is now in arrears nearly $5,000.00 & I am out of resources. For the first time in my life, I am facing foreclosure. It is embarrassing & humiliating & I don't know how to tell my kids that they are likely to have no place to call home in the very near future. I feel like such a failure! Even though I've been an exemplary employee for many years, as a consequence of the self doubting & tremendous stress, I am now faced with the strong potential of losing my job due to my inability to focus & my lack of desire to face each day. As if this wasn't enough for one person to handle, I am also witnessing the daily decline of my father & my hero due to end stage Parkinson's & Alzheimer's.

I'm not sure how this begging website works but if there is someone out there that is willing to believe in me & offer me a loan & payment arrangements, I promise not to let you down.....you will be repaid! I am working hard to battle the persisting PTSD that continues to plague me. I just worry that facing homelessness may be more than I can handle. Lord, I hand it over to You coz I come to You a broken, wounded angel. I thank you for any consideration and appreciate all prayers. May God bless you many times & in many ways for your generosity & kindness!