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19 year old living with depression
Posted by Iwantalife on 2012-05-24 21:58:34
I'm just really hungry and exhausted.
Posted by cp030190 on 2012-05-23 14:58:06
The thing is.. I am hungry. I am not Ethiopian starving, but I'm hungry. My last meal consisted of a pack of chicken flavored ramen noodle soup and 3 saltine crackers. The 7 meals before that consisted of the same exact thing, except I was so lucky as to add a few broccoli florets to the soup broth. I have since ran out of broccoli and ramen. All I have left in my food pantry is canned baby food, and oatmeal. I am down to drinking tap water and falling asleep at night to the borborygmus sounds that my intestines sing to me out of pure hunger. I am so very blessed to be able to pay my bills and provide for my daughter while furthering my education so that some fine day we will both be living like Princesses. I have counted each and every one of my blessings. However, food isn't among these blessings of mine. All I'm asking is for someone to treat a girl to a hot nutritious meal.
BORDER BUSINESS NEED FINANCIAL HELP URGENT!!!
Posted by totoobo on 2012-05-13 21:58:16
THANK VERY MUCH FOR YOUR HELP AND GOOD LUCK TO ALL.
MUCHAS GRACIAS Y SUERTE PARA TODOS! ILOVEYOU
Please! save a mechanical engineer's future
Posted by markbenson88 on 2012-05-12 11:58:42
From: Mr. Danish Hussain
Subject: Please! arrange the amount 1500 U.S. dollar for me as loan. I am mechanical engineer from Pakistan. I am having just 50 USD in my bank account and urgently need money.
Date: 13-05-2012
Respectfully Addressing,
The Concerned Person
Hi Sir, Please! arrange the amount 1500 U.S. dollar for me as loan so that I may hire a hitec detective (e.g. Mr. Jay @ detectives.com) who can collect all the required evidences of people harassing me & spoiling my life, for the police to action and rescue me from worst torture & immense losses of time & money.
Sir, This is Danish Hussain, mechanical engineer. Sir, I am listening voices in my home, office, library, on streets, with me all the time, 24hrs. A group of influential people are teasing me with words & statements. Am helpless. The teasers are teasing me with a super station sort device & this teasing from people goes with me whereever I go, wherever I am. They can listen me, see me and generate sound in my home, office, shop, streets everywhere, those sounds are recordable and am having videos of all that but police needs strong evidences who the teasers are, from where they are teasing me as no one in the video. Losses faced by this teasing are 8 jobs (as soon as I get job I lose it because the boss finds I am always lost, delivering no work just time passing in my probation), interviews (for the same reason), marriage proposals, no earnings for big durations. No improvement in living status whatever earned in 1 or 2 months get spent as I become jobless again. Next month, will be joining a Chinese firm. But before that, please help by arranging a loan for me else will be soon fired again. Please! arrange the amount 1500 U.S. dollar for me as loan so that I may hire a hitec detective (e.g. Mr. Jay @ detectives.com) who can collect all the required evidences of people harassing me & spoiling my life, for the police to action and rescue me from worst torture & immense losses of time & money. I am in Karachi, Pakistan.Thank you very much.
I look forward for your reply. Bye Bye. Take Care
Am waiting for your reply.
Tenderly.
Mr. Hussain
please save my family
Posted by man_in_need on 2012-05-05 13:58:25
Single Mom (not in recovery, not a felon, not disabled, just unemployed)
Posted by cdimiceli on 2012-05-01 17:58:09
Iâm going to be a little blunt, because I'm tired and I want to give up so bad, but I can't. I'm better than that and my kids are my motivator. I wake up everyday and remind myself of 2 things :1) Faith is what you have when you all your beliefs are blown to hell. 2) What doesn't kill you makes you stronger -Nietzsche
I am a 35 year old educated, ambitious, head strong woman. I have owned my own business with my soon to be ex. I know what hard work and determination are. I went to private school and I am educated. I value my community and have always given back and will continue to do so. I also know that I have the drive and determination to get myself back on track. I'm not ASKING for a handout, I'm asking for help up! I also know what loss is. I don't have the business, a house or EVEN the car anymore. We lost everything. He bounced back , I didnât. All I have is HOPE, that someone or some program can help me carve a path back to self sufficiency.
It's gone continually downhill.I am amazed at the allotment of programs for both housing and employment for all different walks of life. However, what about those that are just struggling. No hang ups, no record, just struggling and are LOW INCOME. I'm not writing this to make you feel sorry, I'm writing this because I have exhausted possibilities that I have researched both on my own or been given the information to do the work with.
There are people who struggle everyday through no fault of their own. They don't want a hand out, but help up would be a relief. Society doesn't need band-aids they need solutions.
Not every county, city or state program fits everyone's needs.
First of all Section 8 has been closed since BEFORE I left my marriage so that idea could never work. The list has been closed for years. Because I have limited time with my children, I do not qualify for CALWORKS. I have tried getting assistance in every way possible. I had very little unemployment left since I have been struggling to find work. I was delayed for about 3 months because they needed verification and I had to appeal and request a hearing. I have won my appeal but will only receive $91/week and for a short period of time.
I took a project management class through WIA in 2011, and I was able to get CTB benefits. I NEED HELP. I have hit the absolute worst point in my life and still refuse to give up. I have been looking for work and am now HOMELESS.I am in week 3 of staying in an extended stay hotel (paid for by my mother back east, who makes maybe $26,000/yr in PA) I recently sold my car because I needed to pay bills and rent. I have maybe $75 to my name.
The fact that they say there are services for low income/ homeless is frustrating. I say this because there is no category for me. I'm not a drug addict or in recovery. I don't have a mental illness. I wasn't in prison, I donât' even have a RECORD. I can proudly say I've never been arrested or even in the back of a cop car. I'm not a victim of domestic violence and I do not beat my kids. Why aren't there programs in place for single parents struggling to make it? Everyday people that are responsible and respectable. I understand the need to assist those that may not have the capacity to take care of themselves. However, I have a huge problem with the fact that Santa Clara County & all programs (private, govt or state funded) will rehabilitate and reintroduced felons into the community, but if you're poor, homeless, no record, are looking for work, have high intelligence; sorry, you can't get help. This sounds extremely cynical and jaded, but I am a little after going through all I have.
I have been told constantly âI wish I could do something but we don't have any programs to help you.â My favorite reply is: "Yeah and you have done everything. I'm surprised you even knew about all the programs you did"
I have talked to employment counselors, program coordinators, program advocates and case managers, volunteers, just about anyone. The bankruptcy is hindering my chances of securing housing, even if I had employment.
The icing on the cake has to be with food stamps and General Assistance. I qualified for Cal-Fresh. However, at the time I had a car worth $2200. So I wasn't able to get General Assistance. Fast Forward a year later, I HAD to sell my car to pay bills. Now this month when I went for General Assistance, I qualify.
It's a never ending cycle, a constant push down. I can take public transportation to work, but to get around and see my boys and being able to transport them would be extremely difficult, not to mention financially stressing. I have scoured employment books, read articles, searched the library, spent hours online trying to find a job, program, a company, anybody who could be a resource whether for low income assistance or employment.
I can probably tell you about a plethora of services this county (Santa Clara) offers for both income assistance and job services.I am registered with CALJOBS; I know all the career sites and have my resume there. I get interviews, however I am starting to think the bankruptcy from loss of business is holding me back when employers do background check.
I also could teach the business writing class or the resume writing classes they offer at Work2Future, I practically did when I took them. I could do the same at Sacred Heart. I've been to InnVision and EHC. Iâve talked to Sunnyvale Community Services. Boy he was a treat he sounded older then my 80 yr old grandma. When I said I need housing and employment help, he gruffly told me to check the newspaper and hung up. I've called St Josephs in Gilroy. I've talked to a program coordinator at West Valley Community Services. I called the Sobrato Organization hoping they had ties to something and one the employees just by grace of god happened to pick up and take my call. I was able to talk to someone at HIF (they couldn't help)
.
I am responsible, respectable and just want to work, have a place to live, and be able to have my children 50/50. I have no police record. I am not in recovery, nor have I ever had to be in a program
I want to work and am attaching a compilation of ALL my work skills. I would not send this out otherwise, I would tailor it specifically to the job I am applying for.
I used to volunteer as much as I could I like being active in my community and helping others. I'm still about that I believe in PAY IT FORWARD. I believe the good you do comes back to you tenfold and that no matter what is going wrong in your life, someone else is struggling just as much if not more; so be thankful for what you have.
I attend church and was a hospitality volunteer for that as well.
I just need help getting on my feet. I have no family, other than my children here in CA.
I do not want to move back east and be far away from them. I want to work, I want to live again. I want to smile and mean it.
I hate what my life has become and know that I am SO MUCH BETTER THEN THIS.
Please help me : money is fine, but it's only a temporary fix, please help me find a program that can assist me in getting on my feet, direct me to employment, and most of all afford me the opportunity to have my children much more consistently so I can be a mom again.
Thank you
Courtney DiMiceli
miscellaneous
Posted by qqq62 on 2012-04-29 12:58:07
Please help my best friend be matron at my already-saddened wedding
Posted by PurpleGirl8 on 2012-04-22 19:58:35
Don't Want To Lose My Dog!
Posted by FreeSpirit247 on 2012-04-20 08:58:36
Laid off, disabled, losing our home
Posted by layoff on 2012-04-18 16:58:11
Stuck in El Paso
Posted by stuck_in_elpaso on 2012-04-01 19:58:17
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I appreciate it.
Looking for help!
Posted by hangingbythreads on 2012-03-31 15:58:31
Thank you for reading our story. Please help us. We need $500 to keep our house.
I Cannot Afford The Plastic Surgery I Desperately Need A Tail Implant Now.
Posted by goodkarma on 2012-03-26 02:58:56
Single father
Posted by 69powerwagon on 2012-03-25 22:58:32
Just one of another
Posted by Mikeprinsen on 2012-03-25 09:58:36
Before I will begin my letter I will first introduce myself. My name is Mike, I am 16 years old and from the Netherlands, if you are a millionaire or just someone that can afford it to give away money I encourage you to continue reading. I know it already sounds it will be like a ''begging letter''. And yes it kinda will be like that. There are people that will need money more than I am, but I am bold enough to ask for it. The U.S. census bureau estimates the world population passed 7 billion on March 12, 2012. There is no doubt possible that there are some very kind persons that awards this to other people. I would like to have a starting capital, so I don't have to work that hard anymore to achieve things. Life is just about working hard so after some time if you have saved some money you can do or buy that one thing you would like to have. You just live life once, and I think you should just live it up as you wanted to. But unfortunately you can't because there are to many rules in the way and don't forget about the money you will need to do this. Fortunately I am doing a good study, so I hope this will lead me to a good job in the future. I already said I would like to have a starting capital. I am working as a postman now, but that will just edify this starting capital a little bit. My parents are both working, but they haven't the ''best'' job either. My dad has his own construction business, but he is just working on his own he has no staff. All the money that he earns goes straight to a house that he must rebuild. He wanted to do buy houses and rent them immediately. This went well just a couple of times. But 10 years ago he did put his money in a wrong house what's even nice to say. And it still isn't finished yet. The walls and roof are there but on the inside is a lot to do. If there would be some money that will be donated, I will certainly give something to my father. I would like to start this buy and rent a house progress too, if everything goes well you can earn some nice extra money with it. My mother schedule dates at a rating agency, she is working 3 days a week, to sustain us and do the payments for the house. Now you know a little bit of the things where it was mostly about, I hope you understand it well and I will wait for answers. If you have any questions (maybe something like this: I don't believe the house story, can you send me pictures of it?) feel free to ask me. Contact me: mikeprinsen@rocketmail.com God bless you all and have a nice day! Mike
Just one of another
Posted by Mikeprinsen on 2012-03-25 09:58:36
Before I will begin my letter I will first introduce myself. My name is Mike, I am 16 years old and from the Netherlands, if you are a millionaire or just someone that can afford it to give away money I encourage you to continue reading. I know it already sounds it will be like a ''begging letter''. And yes it kinda will be like that. There are people that will need money more than I am, but I am bold enough to ask for it. The U.S. census bureau estimates the world population passed 7 billion on March 12, 2012. There is no doubt possible that there are some very kind persons that awards this to other people. I would like to have a starting capital, so I don't have to work that hard anymore to achieve things. Life is just about working hard so after some time if you have saved some money you can do or buy that one thing you would like to have. You just live life once, and I think you should just live it up as you wanted to. But unfortunately you can't because there are to many rules in the way and don't forget about the money you will need to do this. Fortunately I am doing a good study, so I hope this will lead me to a good job in the future. I already said I would like to have a starting capital. I am working as a postman now, but that will just edify this starting capital a little bit. My parents are both working, but they haven't the ''best'' job either. My dad has his own construction business, but he is just working on his own he has no staff. All the money that he earns goes straight to a house that he must rebuild. He wanted to do buy houses and rent them immediately. This went well just a couple of times. But 10 years ago he did put his money in a wrong house what's even nice to say. And it still isn't finished yet. The walls and roof are there but on the inside is a lot to do. If there would be some money that will be donated, I will certainly give something to my father. I would like to start this buy and rent a house progress too, if everything goes well you can earn some nice extra money with it. My mother schedule dates at a rating agency, she is working 3 days a week, to sustain us and do the payments for the house. Now you know a little bit of the things where it was mostly about, I hope you understand it well and I will wait for answers. If you have any questions (maybe something like this: I don't believe the house story, can you send me pictures of it?) feel free to ask me. Contact me: mikeprinsen@rocketmail.com God bless you all and have a nice day! Mike
Just one of the others
Posted by Mikeprinsen on 2012-03-22 12:58:23
Before I will begin my letter I will first introduce myself. My name is Mike, I am 16 years old and from the Netherlands, if you are a millionaire or just someone that can afford it to give away money I encourage you to continue reading. I know it already sounds it will be like a ''begging letter''. And yes it kinda will be like that. There are people that will need money more than I am, but I am bold enough to ask for it. The U.S. census bureau estimates the world population passed 7 billion on March 12, 2012. There is no doubt possible that there are some very kind persons that awards this to other people. I would like to have a starting capital, so I don't have to work that hard anymore to achieve things. Life is just about working hard so after some time if you have saved some money you can do or buy that one thing you would like to have. You just live life once, and I think you should just live it up as you wanted to. But unfortunately you can't because there are to many rules in the way and don't forget about the money you will need to do this. Fortunately I am doing a good study, so I hope this will lead me to a good job in the future. I already said I would like to have a starting capital. I am working as a postman now, but that will just edify this starting capital a little bit. My parents are both working, but they haven't the ''best'' job either. My dad has his own construction business, but he is just working on his own he has no staff. All the money that he earns goes straight to a house that he must rebuild. He wanted to do buy houses and rent them immediately. This went well just a couple of times. But 10 years ago he did put his money in a wrong house what's even nice to say. And it still isn't finished yet. The walls and roof are there but on the inside is a lot to do. If there would be some money that will be donated, I will certainly give something to my father. I would like to start this buy and rent a house progress too, if everything goes well you can earn some nice extra money with it. My mother schedule dates at a rating agency, she is working 3 days a week, to sustain us and do the payments for the house. Now you know a little bit of the things where it was mostly about, I hope you understand it well and I will wait for answers. If you have any questions (maybe something like this: I don't believe the house story, can you send me pictures of it?) feel free to ask me. Contact me: mikeprinsen@rocketmail.com God bless you all and have a nice day! Mike
Just one of the others
Posted by Mikeprinsen on 2012-03-22 12:58:22
Before I will begin my letter I will first introduce myself. My name is Mike, I am 16 years old and from the Netherlands, if you are a millionaire or just someone that can afford it to give away money I encourage you to continue reading. I know it already sounds it will be like a ''begging letter''. And yes it kinda will be like that. There are people that will need money more than I am, but I am bold enough to ask for it. The U.S. census bureau estimates the world population passed 7 billion on March 12, 2012. There is no doubt possible that there are some very kind persons that awards this to other people. I would like to have a starting capital, so I don't have to work that hard anymore to achieve things. Life is just about working hard so after some time if you have saved some money you can do or buy that one thing you would like to have. You just live life once, and I think you should just live it up as you wanted to. But unfortunately you can't because there are to many rules in the way and don't forget about the money you will need to do this. Fortunately I am doing a good study, so I hope this will lead me to a good job in the future. I already said I would like to have a starting capital. I am working as a postman now, but that will just edify this starting capital a little bit. My parents are both working, but they haven't the ''best'' job either. My dad has his own construction business, but he is just working on his own he has no staff. All the money that he earns goes straight to a house that he must rebuild. He wanted to do buy houses and rent them immediately. This went well just a couple of times. But 10 years ago he did put his money in a wrong house what's even nice to say. And it still isn't finished yet. The walls and roof are there but on the inside is a lot to do. If there would be some money that will be donated, I will certainly give something to my father. I would like to start this buy and rent a house progress too, if everything goes well you can earn some nice extra money with it. My mother schedule dates at a rating agency, she is working 3 days a week, to sustain us and do the payments for the house. Now you know a little bit of the things where it was mostly about, I hope you understand it well and I will wait for answers. If you have any questions (maybe something like this: I don't believe the house story, can you send me pictures of it?) feel free to ask me. Contact me: mikeprinsen@rocketmail.com God bless you all and have a nice day! Mike
Pay Off the Debt, Buy a White Chocolate Ski-Slope or Something
Posted by GiantMidget on 2012-03-16 17:58:01
Like most twenty-something's in this day and age, I have credit card debt. Oh yes. You wouldn't have guessed it. And like most twenty-something year olds, I'm working full-time slogging my guts out for the little pay that makes being a bin man look worth it. They get paid more. Trust me, I've tried. They have an entrance exam for the local council. As daft as that sounds, I'm not joking.
I got done over by my ex who decided a "system" for roulette was a sure-fire way to make money had more alcohol in his veins than blood. Ditching the sucker was the best half hour conversation I've ever had with anyone in my life.
I moved back in with the parents, wished I'd never left, seriously regretted the tattoos and trying to get on with life but with this debt hanging around my neck like a noose, its exceedingly difficult to do anything else other than worry about the swinging axe over my head.
In the long run, I want to finish my part-time university course and move out of the house - hopefully near a white chocolate ski-slope but I'm not hopeful.
If any of you kind souls wish to help, I'm looking to pay off a chunk of the debt of £10,000. I'm trying every which was possible to save money and at the moment, 80% of my wage each month goes toward getting rid of this weight on my shoulders. 20% goes on Asda Price food stuffs like baked beans, cheap bread made of brick dust and cheese (or at least it resembles cheese).
Please help, it would seriously mean the world to me.
In need of help to get life started.
Posted by sunshine729 on 2012-03-15 16:58:39
Need An iMac To Start My Career
Posted by amieb05 on 2012-03-15 15:58:34
I'm a struggling graphic designer in need of a new desktop Machintosh. I'm aiming to raise $1300 to buy a new iMac computer so that I can start designing to complete my portfolio and start applying for work. My last computer failed on me during finals in school. Thanks to my school's computer lab, I was able to finish my work and graduate. That was back in NYC. I couldn't afford living there on my own and had to come to a smaller town to live with parents. I worked minimum wage retail to gain some money, but the physical stress forced me to stop working due to muscle weakness problem I have. A medical affliction caused by a tumor that has been affecting my energy and skeletal/muscle strength for about 7 years. It was hard getting through school with my condition. It was twice as hard having to work on my feet for hours in a retail environment.
Double my misfortune, I live in a place where jobs are hard to come by. A small town which has a lot of developing to do and jobs are far between. I need a car to travel to the nearest grocery store and can't depend on parents to transport me everywhere. This is why a job is so imperative. I'd like to feel fulfilled knowing I'm doing something for my future and earning money to buy my needs. I wish I had the equipment to start looking for work.
I want an iMac more than anything in the world. If I had my iMac, I could update my portfolio, do some online freelance work and help my parents with some bills. I could start applying for jobs from home and not have to rely on my neighbor's iPad to browse the internet. Whenever my family goes to the mall in the weekends, I pass by our local Apple store and I see people walking out of the store with large boxes containing their brand new iMac's, Macbook Pro's or expensive iPad's...and I get angry.
Yes, I know it sounds terrible and I know not everyone buying a computer is a rich business mogul or an overpampered kid whose parents can buy them whatever they want, and they never have to worry about whether they could afford it or not. But it hurts me to know I'm in such a position, that although I am an adult who should be paying her parent's bills, I can't even help myself because I'm unemployed. No thanks to my stupid weak body that can't take a lot of physical strain, no thanks to ending up in a town where I can't get anywhere without having to walk at least two miles, no thanks to not having my computer...
My name is not Amelia. That is just a screen name because I am too embarassed to reveal my real name. I'd be so grateful to anyone that can help me reach my $1300 goal. I know Mac's are expensive, but they are the industry standard in what I do. I would like a desktop because they are durable and longer lasting. They can also take a lot processing power for the heavy graphic work I do. If you can find it in your time to spare any change .25 cents, $1, $5, I'll be grateful 'till eternity.
Anyone who donates, be kind to leave an email so that I can send you something in return for your favor.
Thank you and God bless,
ameliab2005@gmail.com
Trapped Overseas
Posted by dennisnaomi2011 on 2012-02-17 15:58:20
Her payout for the property she has a contract on selling has been finalized, but she is unable to collect the needed paperwork her stupid lawyer gave to the hotel as a "payment guarantee". It sounds stupid, because it is stupid. I think this lawyer must have purchased his law degree from a "five and dime" establishment. Any of you out there who've had to deal with lawyers in foreign countries know exactly what I'm talking about here. They are sometimes not the sharpest knives in the drawers!!! And that's being polite!!!! Please help...contact me for more details on how you may do so, or just submit your paypal details here on the website, I guess. Not sure how this site works, unfortunately. Thanks for reading my plea.
My name is Dennis. In early December 2011, my fiance' traveled abroad to settle her late father's estate and to sell a large piece of property. When she went (at the insistence of her uncle), she was assured she would only gone for about 2 weeks because the property was supposedly a hot commodity. According to the family lawyer, who was acting as counsel for my fiance', the land would easily sell in 2 weeks. That was in early December. My fiance was sent overseas with very little clothing, very little money (the minimum to get by on for 2 short weeks) and she had no place to stay. She was not welcome to remain in the lawyer's home past a few days, since he had other relatives coming in for the Christmas holidays. She was basically forced into staying in a hotel which she did not have sufficient funding for. I have since tried to help but have completely hit the bottom of the barrel. I've sold anything and everything of value to try to keep up with the mounting hotel bills and her survival needs. Now the money has run out, I am unable to borrow any more. I have no family or friends I can count on to help and neither does my fiance'. The hotel manager has decidely made things much more difficult by seizing her passport and some important documentation and is holding her papers as hostage until she pays the bill. Until she gets paid for the property she is selling, which will be in the next 10 days, she cannot do anything but cry for help. (She is caught in a "catch-22) situation. She cannot sell the property without having her travel papers and the important documentation for the sale of her property. She can't get her papers back until she provides for payment to the hotel. She desperately needs a minimum of $1500.00 to settle the hotel bill and satisfy mounting living expenses. Please donate what you can. If you need to be repaid, she is willing to repay what she is loaned with some nominal interest applied. We will need to work that detail out later if required. Please, please, help. Thank you for whatever you can do.
This is something I've never done before...
Posted by aussieseeks on 2012-02-05 12:58:17
I need some help. I'm trying to get out of a bad relationship and I want to go back to Australia where I'm originally from. I miss home, I miss my family, and I need to get away because I'm in a pretty raw emotional state at the moment. I've dropped out of school and things just aren't working out. More than anything, I want to be able to take my dog with me. I know it sounds silly but he's the one thing I've held onto throughout all this and thinking of not having him scares me to death. It's already going to cost me around $3500 to move, and will be an extra $1500 - $1700 to bring him with me.
Right now I'm still living with my ex. There isn't any food in the house and any money she's known about has always been spent on drugs/cigarettes instead. My pup is out of dog food and I've used up all of mine in an effort to keep him strong and healthy. I live in a place where there aren't any jobs - at least none that I'm qualified for.
I'm not looking for much. A dollar, two, three. It doesn't matter. All I'm doing right now is trying.
College Graduate In Need of Help
Posted by InNeed20 on 2012-02-03 23:58:18
A light at the end of the tunnel?
Posted by doomed1 on 2012-01-30 02:58:37
I've worked very hard and instead of being out there in the world stealing or making babies I can't afford I got a good job, car, and bought my first home at age 20. I'm the kinda friend you know has his own issues and he don't wanna bum you out with them but you can say "Hey James, I can't make my rent, can I borrow this.." or "James my house burned down can I come live wit you?" or "my boyfriend is about to be deported can you buy his old car so we can afford the lawyers?" and my answers are as follows; How much you need?, how long Can you stay + here's $2000 come buy a co-op in my building I'll put in a good word for you, and will it pass inspection?? All this before I was even 25 and these people were older than me! Grown men coming up to my desk at work tell me "I'm hungry" or even just a simple "Feed me" while perched atop my cubicle like a starving pigeon and we'd laugh and joke and sure enough I would buy or bring in something good to eat. I'm the kind of friend that for your birthday from me your most likely to get something we saw in a store window months ago, just to surprise you and make you happy cause it was meaningful to you. Also very kind to those I don't know who seem to be in need, even when we didn't speak the same language, they were drunk and I didn't know if I was walking into trouble.
Somewhere between then and now my life has turned completely upside down. The weight of what I had previously survived (praise God) and what I am now going through don't balance anymore. I lost that home and car and job due to a disability and even though by now you must think me a generally upbeat, diligent, resourceful, praise his name in wrong or right soul I'm lost and I need to rebuild. My entire support system was slowly picked off by my family and close friends life circumstances. I hate telling people how it all happened because to me it sounds like I'm saying I'm cursed and horrible things just keep happening to me. I accept my responsibility for my end and do self checks constantly. Even when thrown into situations far beyond my years, or no one should expect and try to deal with careful thought, civility and grace.
The one last thing I had to hold on to, that was keeping me strong and helping me grow as a person was the love I thought I had but apparently I did not. Lying, fear, cheating, HIV, emotional abuse, sneakiness, poverty, hurt, uncertainty, finding out the person who was the love of your life gave him HIV on purpose but still didn't want him!, cancer and treatments, severely persistent and mental illnesses, self-centeredness, the loss of friends and family acting shady and all that was just my relationship with my EX! So of course me being me for the most part stowed my problems.. "as usual" even if it left me in a bad spot financially, emotionally or physically and I was there! Loving and Supportive even after I was almost attacked. It's a fine line between being a damn fool and doing the right thing, I know but now I'm all on my own. I'm on medicare but the co-pays and deductible are killing me, I can't stay where I am, I'm fat, unhappy and depressed but still thanking God for all the blessing, some time's I feel like asking for more would be an exercise in futility But I'm here. I recently learned that it's ok for me to ask for help. What I'm begging for is to please, please, say a prayer for one another and me! be good to one another and if you could please help me reach my $2,000 goal to a new begining of self sufficiency so I can stop being a broken person and go back to helping others, me and kitty would be forever in your debt and pray for you as well. Amen
