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I'm about to be 51 years old and never thought I'd do something like this, but here goes.

I am disabled from a car wreck with a semi, among other conditions. I was on disability for 15 years, but lost it almost 5 years ago because the guy I roomed with was always gone and was supposed to take me to my doctor and Social Security review appointments. Then he got us thrown out of the apartment because he had hoarded his paychecks, was living off my money, and wasn't paying the rent or bills. He left me with a $1600 light bill ! I didn't find out any of this until we were evicted.

I have been homeless ever since, for nearly 5 years, bounced around from place to place, unable to stay in one place long enough to get thru the Social Security application process - I had to start all over again. In 2010, I spent 8 month living in a closet in Columbus, OH and starved.

I had a Social Security hearing in Lexington, KY last August and was dropped off at a horrible homeless shelter in Lexington, to stay until my hearing, when I was assured by a 'free' lawyer I'd get my disability back. I didn't and now I've been trapped in this gulag for more than 10 months, among druggies, alcholics, and ex-cons dumped off here by the police and the Dept. of Corrections. The building is infested wih bedbugs and there is black mold everywhere, which caused me to have an inner ear infection that finally blew a hole in my eardrum since I couldn't get treated for it. Men sleep on the floors and the bathroom is a chamber of horrors. I've had food poisoning 4 times and a couple months ago, more than 40 men sought treatment for food poisoning. The nurse who reported the cases to the Health Dept suddenly left, while the cook remains at work. A Veteran's Admin rep said he wouldn't give the food served here to his dog.

I'm trapped here because Kentucky discriminates against men in that it will not give us Medicaid cards unless we're already on Social Security. This prevents me from having a family doctor and care for my disabilities, which I need in order to win back my benefits. Under these conditions, I will never be able to get out of this nightmare.

I have a friend in Florida who wants me to come down there. FL will give me a Medicaid card and I could at least have a fighting chance to win my disability back. As I've said; I was on it for 15 years and was repeatedly approved every 2 years during the case reviews. I need to get out of this awful state if this nightmare is ever to end. I've lost almost 11 months of my life being warehoused in a place that's one step above prison, and I've done nothing wrong to deserve this. Yet I'm subject to the same rules and restrictions as the ex-cons who live on the floors above me.

I have no family left to fall back on, so all I can do is ask for help. I need money to get to FL so I can get a doctor and my disabillity back, and have a life again. It will cost around $500 to get my things shipped to Orlando, and another $200 to get me there. Then I'd need somewhere to stay until I can get thru the Social Security process again. After that, I'd be OK.

Thank you for reading all this any any help offered would change my life. I would do everything I could to help other homeless men so as to give back help given me when I most needed it.

I was laid off from my job in the mortgage business in 2007. I tried to find a job for four years, while still managing to pay the mortgage from my savings. No jobs in mortgage, and no interest (despite my skills in general office duties) from other types of business. In December of 2010 I ended up in the hospital with a life threatening skin cancer-I hadn't sought medical treatment because of losing my health insurance, but it got to the point that I was taken out of the house on a stretcher. Now my only source of income is SS disability (my sternum was removed in surgery). My house is being foreclosed. There's no way that I can ask for help with keeping the house, it's too much money. But, I need help with being able to find a place to live where I can bring my two dogs. They are rescued German Shepherds. They are both old, and would have no chance of being adopted if I take them to a shelter. Giving up my devoted friends isn't an option, but any place that I can afford on the disability income alone doesn't allow dogs. I spent all my savings keeping my house because I truly believed that I would be able to find a job. I just need some help to get a new home for me, Chance and Bentley until they either are ready to leave and I can go rent a little room, or I can regain enough strength to go back to work.

hello since i last visited someone halped me with my si tuat ion where i needed help paying for my meds and doctor's bills ove the holdiays much appreciated i am h owever st ill unemployed and planning to move soon i once lived ina ahelter here but my time was up in about 3 months i continue toseek a job iam a middleged woman 55 who needs help with a buscard for a week here i have asked to have various papers fi lled out but when i ge t better the health cneter stops working for me i am no member of gang teh lazy old micial social worker would not help me wi th my reduced fare permit i cna't walk far i have heart problem under control with medications i can work however i am not from here when the peoples health center got my medicla records from cook county they stopped helping i need a lit tle change or i have a paypal account until things improve i am an adult learner who is trying to SURVIVE i read online that many older workers are getting jobs i used tostay in an sro but state financing ran out in illinois i have a new eyeglass pr escrip tion that needs filling i only run in to difficulties here lately when i ask for minor help 15-25 dollars can anyone help me i used to suffer for CHF!I am in need of shoes also i have type 2 diabetes wk hich ialso treat with medicine once t hey at the health center on delmar blvd.)helped me use Xubex for important medicines once however i only tke basics i can use a little help and help with bus fare i go to churches to eat many .many meals their clohing is limited so i have very little if not sought by people who claim to be lceaning up an area that is already environmentally clean and hidden on a tree branch not in anyone's way i can get doanted items if i can get there i am hungry at times and am given t hing s formtime to time, ilove to work god bless youif you can help , my name is yslvia mccullough i get coorespondence at 1610 olive st., st.louis,mo 63103 i also have paypal, thanks for letting me ask, good nite

I developed perhaps the ultimate in 'sustainability' based perma culture farming with almost no tilling required here in Oregon. I am not big on all the sustainability jargon but what I have done is created a kind of natural farm factory that I would like to see reproduced on a larger level. It produces high carbohydrate value food with almost no irregation although some was required to get it started and revolves around an ancient plant speices friend of man-kind the Chestnut Tree. Believe it or not chestnut trees can produce upto 2,000 lbs each of nuts a year if spaced at least 40 feet apart. There is a story and a book on how to do what has been discovered here on a small farm at a very much larger and perhaps international basis. The economy and use of the Chestnut is a bit of a harder sell than wheat , rice or corn. It is the lowest fat tree nut in existence. It is also glutten free. The farm still has nuts for sale from last year thanks to their being no organized major distribution network for our product like other basic crops and growing competition (all good for the long run) Money or new land to develop in the Pacfic Northwest is sought after. We have many nuts to plant and many seedlings ready to transplant and we have other types of plants that play a role in the development. Inexpensive cleared land that needs to be replanted in the Northwest is sought after for this purpose. Land that is inexpensive and not suitable for vinyards or other uses other than slow timber growth would be perfect but at an affordible price please if possible. The amazing thing about chestnut trees is their tap roots can allow them to self irregate in places where it seems there is no water to resourse at all at the surface. donations accepted as well as land donations/ participation. Chestnut trees also have value as wood and timber as a hard wood. In some areas once timber is cut down in the Northwest most of the value of the land is gone which would be a perfect time for us to go in and buy iti to reforest it with an eye to new permaculture farming. please help if you can.

my eldest sister of 48 was rushed to the hospital for stomach pain.Until now,she is not undergoing on operation because a CT SCAN must be done first,we all contributed for the payment of her hospital bill and at the moment we are all broke, her siblings. We cannot start with the rest of what is needed because of a CT SCAn. We sought help on our town mayor but his donation is still not enough for it...We do not have any medical card. We are basically on grass root level income. I am seeking help for anyone who can help my sister. She is very thin now..I love her so much...Thank you

my eldest sister of 48 was rushed to the hospital for stomach pain.Until now,she is not undergoing on operation because a CT SCAN must be done first,we all contributed for the payment of her hospital bill and at the moment we are all broke, her siblings. We cannot start with the rest of what is needed because of a CT SCAn. We sought help on our town mayor but his donation is still not enough for it...We do not have any medical card. We are basically on grass root level income. I am seeking help for anyone who can help my sister. She is very thin now..I love her so much...Thank you

my eldest sister of 48 was rushed to the hospital for stomach pain.Until now,she is not undergoing on operation because a CT SCAN must be done first,we all contributed for the payment of her hospital bill and at the moment we are all broke, her siblings. We cannot start with the rest of what is needed because of a CT SCAn. We sought help on our town mayor but his donation is still not enough for it...We do not have any medical card. We are basically on grass root level income. I am seeking help for anyone who can help my sister. She is very thin now..I love her so much...Thank you

Hi people

I wont make this ultra long or at least I will try not to ok :)

My name is Christine,I am Scottish, mother of 4 really lovely kids ranging from 2 years to 14 years.

I have been with their father since I was young (16), I have suffered from depression for a long time and never sought help till about 3 years ago.

My partner worked while I stayed at home and looked after the kids, I tried :)

2 years ago my partner was made redundant, since then he's had some work but its been poorly paid and only short term, we have had to rely on the government for help and let me tell you its been no where near enough!
we own our own home (mortgage) and they wont pay it all while he's jobless and we dont get enough money to cover the rest, we have accrued debt from the mortgage and from most of our other bills.
We have been close to eviction on more than 2 occasions, we borrowed the money from his mum, really great of her, she decided she didn't want re-paid which was awesome, but we only just covered that one event, we are still behind and struggling like crazy.
We are all stuck together in this now cramped house as when we initially bought it, we only had 2 kids!
we dont get out, we dont take vacations or holidays, we dont drink nor smoke and though we'd like one, we dont have a car (we cant even drive).

I am stressed, he's stressed, itsnot a nice atmosphere at home like every single day, the kids argue (older kids), mostly over space and we all argue and shout and get upset.

My oartner has been for many job interviews and so far no success, we are not scroungers, he's worked all his adult life and he hates not working and being stuck with me 24/7.

There are some things that have happened, things that I dont want to mention, personal stuff, breaks my heart.........we just need a break, I have been on the verge of a meltdown, surely it cant just continue?

I anyone is in a position to help not just me but my whole family, then please.....it would be the best thing ever!!!

this is probably the most sincere thing I ever wrote right there.

Kind and warm regards Christine

I’ve never asked for any kind of help before, and certainly not from people that I have never met! But my situation has become so desperate that I really do need help.
I have, for the last 15 years, struggled to make ends meet, following periods of ill-health, bad luck and catastrophic decision making. My circumstances are now very desperate indeed, and have even considered suicide.
In 1997 I suffered from a period of depression, that became so severe that I was forced to give up my job, and borrowed money to cover my mortgage and keep my house. Unfortunately the repayments on this ever increasing debt snowballed, and I found myself unable to meet my mortgage and household bills. I had ploughed my life savings into the home, and lost it all.
In 2006 I was approached by a friend, who was concerned for my financial circumstances, and suggested that we buy an old property, renovate it and sell it for a profit. I was desperate to make some money, and trusted my friend. I would refer you to full details of this in my Beg, as the project ended in complete failure having been ripped off by an unscrupulous builder. Work that should have taken 3 months took in excess of 9, and I ended up carrying out all the work myself. I regularly worked at the house from the early hours until well past midnight. The long hours left me exhausted, and in October 2008 I had a breakdown. I simply couldn’t carry on, and collapsed at work. My employer at the time was an unforgiving and vindictive man, and he said that I would be suspended if my work didn’t improve. I was afraid that I would lose my job, and under considerable psychological pressure from my employer I was forced to resign.
Following the failed business venture, which had plunged me into further debt, my breakdown and subsequent loss of my job, I simply couldn’t cope and pushed me into a long period of depression that became so severe that I planned to take my life. At the time I was so ill that I was unable to hold down a job, and this simply added to my woes - whilst out of work and undergoing intensive counselling I borrowed further. By the end of 2009 I was £15,000 ($23,250) in debt. I desperately want to rebuild my life now, but it is difficult to do so when I am saddled with a debt that is crippling me. Between 2009 and December 2010 my debt increased - there is no answer to it, and I will never ever me able to clear the £18,000 ($27,900) that I now owe. It is a debt that cripples me and prevents me from having a normal, happy life. I am 50 in February 2012, but have no future. I am tired of being worried, stressed, unable to sleep, and being depressed. Please, please help me start my life all over again. Please read my full story, and contact me if you have any questions. Thank you.

I am a proud owner of 3 lovely ferrets. Unfortunately one of my ferrets is getting up there in age and has acquired adrenal disease which becomes quite common in older ferrets. His name is Kumo (Cloud in Japanese), he's the white one in the picture. In order to make him healthy again, I have to come up with $2,000 dollars to get the surgery to have his adrenal glands removed. Adrenal disease in ferrets is an over production of hormones creating a huge chemical imbalance in ferrets. Symptoms include excessive itching, hair loss, sexual aggressive behavior, swelling of the vulva or prostate which in turn makes the animal unable to pass urine, and death if no treatment is sought out in a few months. My ferret Kumo is going through all of this right now and I need to have this surgery for him or he will die before his time. Any donation is helpful. Thank you

We are a group of asylum seekers and 20 in number who hail from different African countries. we sought asylum in Botswana between the years 1998- to 2000.the government hosted us for more than 12 years.but in April this year the government in conjuction with the UNHCR did issue us with rejection letters clearly stating that we are nolonger a concern to them.the only aid we recieve is meagre food ration and medicare but are not allowed to work.out of the 43 cases who were rejected on nunerous occassions, the government decided to re-reject us the 20 people and granted (recognition)status to the other 23 cases.

for that matter we are requesting for financial assistance to help for legal funding as we are taking the matter to court and get legal help because we do not work. for more information please do contact us on the following email address othieno.martin@yahoo.com and for further information please do contact robert on +267-75482198

we look forward to your positive response.
conrad

I am a single mother of two high school aged children (15 & 17) seeking immediate assistance to pay my debts, bills and secure affordable housing for my family again. We were displaced in April from our home of 5 years.

My family was involved in an automobile accident (not our fault, but thankfully no injuries)in January of this year in the only vehicle our family owns and while it is still drivable and in need of repair, I am still settling the outstanding claim (for the past 8 months) with the other person's insurance company who hit us, which includes fighting in court to recover damages.

Additionally, my income has dropped drastically due to loss of work and we are barely surviving on $500 a month.

Unforeseen hardships, deaths in our family, my childrens' education, lack of involvement from their father and other financial strains continue to take a huge toll on us and our ability to maintain a sustainable home. It seems bleak at times to feel as though we have no sense of real security in our lives. And, it serves only to divide us, which makes it even more difficult for any of us to stay together, focused, driven and motivated..

I am struggling to find sustainable employment to no avail and we had no choice except to move in with a family friend who is retired and living on a fixed income and struggling to save his home from foreclosure. Our combined contributions do not adequately cover the expense of managing the home, but there is little recourse to either of us at the moment to change the situation. We have only patched the situation, not repaired it. It still feels as though the boat is sinking....

I have never sought this type of assistance before and while it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable seeking this help, I feel I have no other choice but to BEG for immediate relief before something drastic happens to permanently alter our lives forever in ways I do not want to even imagine. I cannot allow what is happening to us (be it pride or pity) destroy our hope, my children and their vision for the future. We must turn our situation around to restore balance back into my family's life. Any generosity would be an eternal blessing...

First I want to thank anyone who is considering donating money to raise myself and my child out of debt. I have never begged for anything, but I have no other choice but to ask for help at this time in my life. I am a 41 year old single mother of a 14 month old child. My son's father left me at 4 months pregnant for a 19 year old girl who knew me and knew I was pregnant. They had no remorse for what they did either. My son's father has had practically no involvement in my sons life other than paying child support. The child support that I receive is very minimal because his father is on commission where he works and I never know what I'm going to receive. I lost my job in 2007 where I was making over $50,000 a year and now I'm making about half that with an additional mouth to feed. I never thought I would get to this place in my life. I've tried looking for a higher paying job, but with no completed college education no one will hire me for the amount of money I was making before. I have sought out help with Medicaid, food stamps, WIC, etc. but I make just a "little" too much money for what they allow. I have a house and have tried to remodify my loan and refinance it but I have been rejected left and right. I have considered selling my house, but I do not want my son raised in an apartment with all the pedophiles and criminals that are out there.(I am barely able to make my house payments and may lose my home anyway) I think my home and my neighborhood are much safer. I have exhausted all the resources I can. I am currently doing online surveys just to get a few dollars here and there to just pay for gas to and from work. I'm praying this will be a temporary situation as I continue to look for a higher paying position and hope to one day to get a degree. I don't believe in just living off the system and not doing something in return to better oneself. Any assistance would be greatly appreciated and when my son grows up I will let him know how generous people can be in a time of need. Please find it in your heart to help someone in need who isn't trying to just scam someone to make themselves rich. I just want to get by and make my son happy. I don't need any luxuries, but he does. Praying for help!

The rent is Overdue, I don't have a dime in my purse, 2 kids clinging to me for every ounce of want and need. No child support checks, no family to help, or who would care to help. Old credit card , medical bills, and other misc. charges that I've incurred over the past 10 years remain unpaid. Sought government assistance and they only give you enough to do one or the other, so it's either pay my bills or pay the rent. I no longer have a cell phone, besides the free govt phone they give you with 70 minutes a month on it. I have a car, but it needs work, hundreds of dollars of work. 35 years and I'm still striving for a destination spot. a place of rest, stability, and contentedness. Wondering when and how my load will lighten. Thinking about running away, then I look at my babies and know that they would find a way to keep me here with them, their smiles, playing, hugs, and the like. I often wonder how I ended up in this place of not knowing, confusion, heartache, toil, lack, despair, and think why me, then again, why not me? Is God trying to show/tell me something? What, I'm all ears, and eyes, you've got my attention, and have had it held there for about 5 years. Everything changed when my mom left us, everything changed when she passed. You must understand my mother was a paragon, well I guess every decent kid would say that about their mom, but mine really was. If I were to tell you about her, you would feel what I felt and others felt about her even in a moment, a fragment of a second, you would get a sense of her spirit, humor, nuture, kindness, humility, charity, etc. I could go on and on about her. but you don't want to hear about that you want to know why I am writing this, and like so many other countless stories, what makes my struggle any more worthy than the next man or womans. I am in no position to tell you that my trial is far worse, or more deserving than anothers, I am not asking for a certain amount, or for one particular thing. Anything you send would be beneficial to any and all areas of my life and that of my children. I can only say that for someone who has dreams and aspirations of someday coming out of this fog, permanately, your donations would put me in a position of independence.

first want to thank you for taking your time reading this. I am not going to fully paste a long sob story, but this is a story of a broken father trying to get his son home where he knows he is going to be loved, safe and to be raised happy.

My oldest son Keegan who was born to me on Christmas has been out of my home for over 3 years. My son is 10 years old and right now is living at a Residential Treatment Center; this facility was provided to him by the State of Texas Department of Family Services. The Department of Family Services was sought by my ex-wife over 3 years ago for help assistance while I was working to support my family living. This is not going to be a story where I am going to bash my ex-wife, at that point of life she was not a good mother, she could not handle the responsibilities and our son Keegan was on medications or medical conditions given to us ADHD, Hyper-Aggressive Disorder, and possible Bi-Polar.

Keegan was not acceptance to large change. We had to move from a city and a house where my son felt settled, back to our home city of Amarillo. This condition did not set well with my son, but as long as Daddy was with him he felt safe. Then Daddy had to be gone from Monday through Friday (except Friday Night) for work, and then when I was home I would spend time with my kids. Keegan was settled with this, but on the second week gone his medications ran out and the MHMR would not see him for three weeks, his past Pedi-physiologist would not refill medications unless they saw him which started him on a process where his mother felt she could not attend to his needs. Situations always arose and my ex-wife sought help from the Pavilion while I was away. After one month of this my ex-wife who was listening to “her” friends kept telling her to seek help with Family Services. Then an incident happened at home, my ex-wife and her friends left the house to look at business property (for what reason I still do not know), but left a thirteen year old who was not mental capable himself to watch Keegan, his sister Shaylah, and her friends youngest son. The situation happened when my son Keegan and Shaylah got into an egg fight with the thirteen year old and his youngest brother. The youngest brother got upset because he was losing and picked up a stick and STABBED Keegan in the back and punctured him. Keegan got upset and picked up his Fatboy skateboard and knocked him across the forehead knocking him out in one hit. This information was provided to me by my ex-wife and her friends. That is when my ex-wife called the Sherriff f department on Keegan because of the situation; she allowed her friends threaten to beat him to death and scared him so bad he defecated himself. He did not feel safe and the only person who would make him feel safe was over 3 hours away.

Since Keegan was under the age of 10 years old they could not take him, so again my ex-wife called Family services and with the discussion of everything and the fact he had been in the pavilion prior the accepted to take him for help and placed him in a temporary children’s facility.

I did not even to get to see my son before they took him, I had to go to the Randall County Courthouse where I was explained by the legal team and Family Services if I did not accept this treatment for my son I would be held liable for the charges and I could charged for his actions. I knew my son needed help, but not this help. I was assured he would get proper treatment and care for, and he should be home soon. A year later I was told the state now has permeate custody of my son, but I still have a stature of rights as a parent and I am not banned to see my son.

There is more to that story, but again I am not dragging other events, but after three years he is in a facility that tends to switch out employees weekly, they are not participating in family counseling, at this point of my letter I have not talked to my son in over 2 months, and have not received any of his letters he writes. Visitation has been promised to me once every other month to bring him home for a day visit, but that has not happened 9 months. The State of Texas has made a statement they are not responsible to bring my son home for visitation because they do not have the money for this, and it is my responsibility to make the visitation visits 3 hours from me. I was promised weekly phone calls, but again that is not happening, and when I call the facility nobody seems to be there to assist with the issue. Texas Department of Family Services is over stocked on cases and I tend to get a voicemail over a real phone conversation, and when I email I may get a response. I was explained I am supposed to have family counseling sessions with Keegan because the facility is breaking that bond with my son and his family and for the past 3 months that has not happened. I have been told by the State because of my financial conditions even if he was ready to come home they would not let him.

This is my plea for help, my son needs help, I need help and I need to do something about my situation. I am a hard worker, I take care of my two other kids and do not receive any support from my children mother. I make enough to stay afloat, I have a best friend (as close as a brother) help me trade my old Chevy Pickup for an automobile that will get me around in the city but do not go hard on it. Overall I am just an average hard working low class worker trying to get back what is his.

My family and i really need help , my fiancee lost his job and since then we have gone nowere but downhill . He has sought employment and continues to .We do not have a permanent home and stay from place to place we have three kids . Any help would be greatly appreciated even if its just prayer we need it i do not expect a handout my fiancee and myself can and will work . Please just keep us in your prayers thank u so much

I have been suffering from severe anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember, but it wasn't till recently that I have actually sought out the help I need. I now trying to better myself by seeing a psychiatrist and slowly trying to feel mentally stong, but since I have no insurance of any kind, it is getting more and more difficult to keep appointment and get medicine. So please help, any amount is great.

I have been struggling all year to keep afloat..I feel like I have exhausted every avenue and don't know what to do at this point. I am not lazy... I have a job but they keep closing my unit in the hospital and not giving me hours. I've sold all my stuff worth anything and sought assistance where I could. I have 3 kids; 17 yr boy, 12 yr girl, n 11 month old boy. I'm can't even begin to think about Christmas because I have to figure out rent past due, get insurance on vehicle, and tags are now past due as of November. I have been desperately trying to stay afloat and have been...but it has been getting progressively harder every month. If I could just get caught up....I could keep it there. I've done it on my own for 39 years till now without help. I just need that life preserver before I drown.

I am a 53-year-old divorced mom of two teenagers who is struggling to find work, keep my home, and pay my bills. 2010 has been the most difficult year of my life, as I have had to deal with three major sources of stress all at the same time. The first one (financial) actually began in April 2009 when I injured my right hand in a table saw accident which required hand surgery (almost $5000, which I am still paying off) and prevented me from being able to work for a couple of months. (I am self-employed and do minor home remodeling, as well as decluttering and organizing.) I got behind on all of my bills (two mortgages, medical bills and credit cards) and have been within days of my home being foreclosed upon on three different occasions since then. I have worked really hard to market myself and find enough work to get caught back up, working 10-12 hours a day six days a week when I had enough work to do so. This past May I finally managed to get completely caught up on all my bills, which was a tremendous relief.

Throughout this time, both of my teenagers were living with me and since January I had been doing everything I could to help my 19-year-old son get into the Marines, as I felt it was the only thing that could get him back on the right track in life. I knew he had been drinking, smoking pot and doing some drugs throughout his high school years, but had no idea at the time how bad it was, so I ended up wasting six months taking him to work out with the Marines at the recruiting office five days a week in addition to many other Marine-related things. The last week of June, about a week after he failed his drug test at his Marine physical, I discovered that he had stolen several hundred dollars from my bank account. The next five weeks were utter hell. I managed to get him to admit to me that he was addicted to heroin. We have a tremendous problem where we live with teenagers getting hooked on OxyContin and then switching to heroin (both opiates) because it is about 1/10th the cost of OxyContin. Thank God, my son is scared to death of needles and never injected it (he was smoking five balloons of black-tar heroin a day). If you have lived with a drug addict, you know how it affects every single aspect of your life. Drug addicts are liars, thieves and master manipulators. They can’t help it because their brains have been hijacked by the drug and it is as though they are possessed. The only thing they can think about is how to get more drugs. My sweet, sensitive, smart, funny, loving boy was gone. You cannot reason with an addict and you cannot trust anything they say or do. It is the most unbelievably stress-inducing experience you can imagine. Until his father and I managed to get him into an inpatient rehab facility at the end of July, I spent most of my time dealing with him and trying to keep him from stealing everything in my house so he could either pawn it to get money for drugs or give the items to his drug dealer in exchange for drugs. Among many other things (I could type pages about just those five weeks of all the hell we went through), I had to buy my iPod back from his drug dealer after I discovered it was missing. During those five weeks, my son overdosed once and ended up in the hospital (this happened about a week after I kicked him out of my house). He had no place to go and I was scared to death he would die living on the streets, so I let him sleep on the hammock in my back yard (after I went looking for him and found him stumbling down a sidewalk in a heroin stupor) until he went to rehab (which he had been adamantly fighting against for the prior month) four days later. Because I was only able to work a few days during this period of time and had to spend almost $800 on repairs to my 16-year-old car, I got behind on all my bills again. I have been able to find an average of about 20 hours of work a week since then, so have fallen even further behind. I have been looking for a “real job” for months, without success so far.

Finally – the third source of major stress in my life this year. The love of my life, whom I had been with for 6+ years, ended our relationship in January. We grew up in the same town, went to jr. high and high school together, and I was head-over-heels over him then. We dated after high school, but he was too shy at the time to ask me to marry him, which I later found out he had wanted to do. After 25 years of not having any contact with each other, we reconnected almost seven years ago and it was as though we had never been apart. We were unable to marry at that time because we live in neighboring states and my two children were 11 and 12 then and my ex would not agree to me moving to Colorado and he was unable to move to my state because of his business. I have virtually put my life on hold career-wise for the past seven years, knowing that when my youngest turned 18, I would be moving to Colorado, and so I could have the flexibility in my schedule to make trips to see him every one to two months. Four months before her 18th birthday, he ended our relationship (which was a complete shock; I thought everything was great between us). Needless to say, on top of everything else, this has been very devastating and I am just now beginning to come to terms with the fact that my future with him that I had been working towards and looking forward to all this time is gone, besides dealing with the immense pain of a broken heart. I have felt utterly lost and alone, and very very sad. My wonderful 18-year-old daughter moved out of the house almost three months ago, so it has been kind of hard being in an empty house since then and not having my best friend to talk to every day on the phone like I had done for six years.

I have recently been working for a married mom of four boys, decluttering and organizing her house. Two days ago she called to tell me she had broken her foot and has to keep it elevated for two weeks, so she wants me to wait until after that before coming back to work. I currently have no other job prospects, am desperately looking for work, and worrying about the fact that I have to make two mortgage payments before the end of this month in order to keep from being over 60 days past due, in addition to being at least that far behind on my other bills. I have about $40 in cash, a quarter-tank of gas in my car, and my bank account is upside down.

I have always been a strong person and a survivor (having grown up with an angry alcoholic father). I have never sought any type of government assistance and never will. I have taken care of myself since age 17 and am a hard worker, so it is very difficult for me to ask for help and I apologize for doing so. I assure you that any money you choose to donate to me will only be used to pay bills, put gas in my car, buy groceries, or other similarly legitimate expenses. Thank you so much for helping me out (if you choose to do so). I am humbly grateful.