Sorry Tags

Hi, I'm a mom with 3 little girls in elementary school and a gorgeous husband and I thought my life, though simple, was perfect. We've never lived beyond our means and have tried to do the best by our family. We've given to lots of charities (mainly World Vision and Red Cross) and never thought we'd have to ask ANYONE for even a penny.
I don't know if "Medical Bills" is the right category but medical is why we can't pay our other bills and are in trouble with the bank over our home payments.
Since #3 was born I have had a bowel resection following them finding colo-rectal cancer - and I thought that was the end of it. I now have a prolapsed uterus (sorry.. this area of my body is a disaster) which I need to have operated on. I have to pay for that operation but also I'm scheduled for a routine staging colonoscopy at the same time. This is TOO MANY BILLS! I am praying that this will be the end of it and I can return to full-time work in the next 3 or 4 months.
There are so many stories of people's difficulties that I'm a little embarrassed to even ask. If you can spare a small amount, our family would really appreciate it.

Well to start this off I'm a 19 year male living in socal with my family.I grew up poor and we still struggle to make ends meet.My mother is a single parent.As a kid i grew up with an abusing father and two older brothers who would constantly hit me,my mother and sister.They were alcholics and drug addicts.With all this happening at home i began to form a deep depression that made it hard for me to make and keep friends.I also began to have problems with school,I began to fail classes and miss school on a daily baises.Where was I? Home sleeping my life away,wishing I had no exsistance.When finally i dropped out of high school.Things got worse.I became suicidal and began to cut myself to outdue the pain and lonliness i felt in my heart.I kept looking for somthing tho,something that can make things better,anything.Mabe a passion and thats when i met a guy.He was 18 and i was 15.we spent nights together and after 5 months i realized i was in love.He was the only person who cared for me,took care of me and understood what i was going through without judging me unlike all those fake "best" friends.With a little of support i got into counseling.With a counsler i tryed several times to get back into hs but i kept giving up.and now today im still struggling to live my life.This is basically whats going on.Im still depressed and have really low self esteem.Yes im with my boyfriend(3 years :D) i want so badly to get my ged and start college and get a job.But i have a little problem.it sounds silly but,my acne scars prevent me from living my life!!! they make me feel so self consious.and with low self esteem you get where this is going...i have BDD.(Body Dismorphic Disorder) make face in my eyes looks so gross that i never want to go out and do anything productive or fun :( Im scared ill lose my boyfriend soon because we never go out and do anything fun and exciting.he basically has to force me to go out! And i truely just want to get back to school.ugh my story is to long to keep this going so here it is.I grew up in an abusive home.I was malested.I was bullied in school.I was suicidal.And now i just want to be happy.im tired of always being sad everyday.I have low self esteem and i want to do a procedure to get rid of my acne(i have tryed everything even proactive lol) So if anybody can help me raise money to get laser acne removal.i will truely from the bottom of my heart aprciate it.No this is not a scam.I just want to be happy.Please and Thank you.:) Sincerly Fernando V. Ps sorry for the bad grammer,im a drop out remember? lol

First of all, I'm terribly sorry for my bad english. I'm a portuguese man and recently I had the most wonderful news, I'm going to be a dad... unfortunately, I'm unemployed and so is my wife.
I need help to start buying some basic things for the child, and I've absolutely no chance of credit (I've already made one) with the portuguese banks. Any help will be extremely valuable... I want to keep this baby and if I can't provide a good environment the government will take the baby from us... Please help.

my name is donald an im a 73 year old vetran from the united states air force.I just found out that my sister is dying of cancer they gave her 3 weeks or less.I have no money to go see her an I would really want to. I too am dying of liver cancer an another type of cancer im doing kemo only to prolong my time here they said that if i didnt do the kemo then i would only have a few months give or take but if i do kemo id live forone year. Sorry this isnt about me its to see my sister.I am a proud man an i dont usually go begging for money.But this is realley tearing me apart i need to see my sister before she's gone.If their is anyone out their that could help me out id really apprieate this.My sister lives in pennsylvania an i live in rhode island so please im begging help me someone.Thank You for taking the time to read my post. Have a wounderful day.

Hello. Im writing this with my pride put aside because i've let the love of my life down as far as im concerned and need help in order to pay the remaining past due rent for this month. This is not easy for me to do because of the overwhelming feeling of failure that just eats me up inside. We have been together for more than 12 yrs now and we have always managed somehow to make it through some extremely difficult times. This women is an Angel of Mercy for those who know her and to her family she is simply the rock. She is 1 of 5 sisters, all having 2 children a piece, and to which all 10 children she has taken in under our roof for extended periods through all the years i've known her. She is the most positive and giving person I have ever met! I LIVE FOR THIS WOMEN and have always reassured her that I could never at any cost, no matter how tough things got, give her reason for serious concern or not be able to get us past any finacial issues no matter how bad it looks. Yes im feeling very sorry for myself because I was a truck driver and lost my job because of an accident that was my fault and where knowone was injured, resulted in a dollar amount that was too high for my company to retain insurance in order for me to continue in thier employment. Week to week we got by and then back in December the freight slowed and my checks that the bulk of our bills and all the rent came out of, was now barely making the household bills. We fell behind Dec and Jan rent and was given such a break from an understanding landlord and we caught up in Feb with every dime of our tax refund given to a thankful landlord but one that stated, from that point on, we must be on time. After all the struggle we went through and the extreme patients and understanding of our landlord....now i've lost my job! We have spent the first half of this month calling and talking to and submitting applications to so many programs for assistance but getting turned away with no solutions. We have no more time and if forced to moved i will have let down the last person on earth that deserves it. Our rent is $675 a month and sent $300 yesterday and it was everything we had. we need $375 and nothing more. if anyone can help, you will find knowone more greatful beyond words can trully express and any additional info needed for your consideration can be provided if requested. Thanks to all that take the time to consider any possibility for help.

To my babies,

1) You will always be safe.
2 There is no such thing as a Boogie Man.
3) You can always come home.
4) I will always be here for you.
5) There will always be laughter and singing and dancing.
6) The sun always comes up,even on cloudy days.
7) You will never have to worry, I can fix it.
8) Study hard and you will go somewhere in life.
9) Be good to yourself and others.
10) When you're wrong, say your sorry.

16 years that flew by...

To my teenagers,

1) Danger may find you, be stronger, faster, and smarter.
2) You will sometimes be afraid, but I will comfort you.
3) Home is where your heart is, no matter where, no matter the circumstances that seperate you.
4) I will always be where you are when you need me.
5) There may be days of quiet and the dancing subdued, but sometimes you see a rainbow on the rainiest days.
6) Sometimes the sun stays hidden behind the clouds, but its warmth is still felt down here on the ground.
7) Sometimes you have to fix it yourself, but I will stand beside your while you try.
8) Study hard anyway, even if your dreams are not what you wished for, the journey there is the just a small twist in the road.
9) Love with integrity and honor, even when it's difficult, even when it's not returned. Believe in love.
10) Forgive yourself when you ask others to forgive you. You are worth it.

I hope you will not see the struggles we face, the house we are in danger of losing, or the tears on my pillow late at night. I hope you never see my quiet desperation and uncertainty. I hope you never know that I’ve lost my job to budget cuts 5 times, just like I have now. I hope you cannot see the moments of hopelessness in my heart and how much I have aged in such a short time. I hope you remember how strong your Mama is and how I would do anything for you both. There is no SuperMom, just an ordinary Mom in extraordinary circumstances. And one last thing…..when you are given to, it is always with a promise that you will in some way give back.

Love, Love, Love,

The Third Musketeer

Please help us. Thank you

To my babies,

1) You will always be safe.
2 There is no such thing as a Boogie Man.
3) You can always come home.
4) I will always be here for you.
5) There will always be laughter and singing and dancing.
6) The sun always comes up,even on cloudy days.
7) You will never have to worry, I can fix it.
8) Study hard and you will go somewhere in life.
9) Be good to yourself and others.
10) When you're wrong, say your sorry.

16 years that flew by...

To my teenagers,

1) Danger may find you, be stronger, faster, and smarter.
2) You will sometimes be afraid, but I will comfort you.
3) Home is where your heart is, no matter where, no matter the circumstances that seperate you.
4) I will always be where you are when you need me.
5) There may be days of quiet and the dancing subdued, but sometimes you see a rainbow on the rainiest days.
6) Sometimes the sun stays hidden behind the clouds, but its warmth is still felt down here on the ground.
7) Sometimes you have to fix it yourself, but I will stand beside your while you try.
8) Study hard anyway, even if your dreams are not what you wished for, the journey there is the just a small twist in the road.
9) Love with integrity and honor, even when it's difficult, even when it's not returned. Believe in love.
10) Forgive yourself when you ask others to forgive you. You are worth it.

I hope you will not see the struggles we face, the house we are in danger of losing, or the tears on my pillow late at night. I hope you never see my quiet desperation and uncertainty. I hope you never know that I’ve lost my job to budget cuts 5 times, just like I have now. I hope you cannot see the moments of hopelessness in my heart and how much I have aged in such a short time. I hope you remember how strong your Mama is and how I would do anything for you both. There is no SuperMom, just an ordinary Mom in extraordinary circumstances. And one last thing…..when you are given to, it is always with a promise that you will in some way give back.

Love, Love, Love,

The Third Musketeer

Please help us. Thank you

To my babies,

1) You will always be safe.
2 There is no such thing as a Boogie Man.
3) You can always come home.
4) I will always be here for you.
5) There will always be laughter and singing and dancing.
6) The sun always comes up,even on cloudy days.
7) You will never have to worry, I can fix it.
8) Study hard and you will go somewhere in life.
9) Be good to yourself and others.
10) When you're wrong, say your sorry.

16 years that flew by...

To my teenagers,

1) Danger may find you, be stronger, faster, and smarter.
2) You will sometimes be afraid, but I will comfort you.
3) Home is where your heart is, no matter where, no matter the circumstances that seperate you.
4) I will always be where you are when you need me.
5) There may be days of quiet and the dancing subdued, but sometimes you see a rainbow on the rainiest days.
6) Sometimes the sun stays hidden behind the clouds, but its warmth is still felt down here on the ground.
7) Sometimes you have to fix it yourself, but I will stand beside your while you try.
8) Study hard anyway, even if your dreams are not what you wished for, the journey there is the just a small twist in the road.
9) Love with integrity and honor, even when it's difficult, even when it's not returned. Believe in love.
10) Forgive yourself when you ask others to forgive you. You are worth it.

I hope you will not see the struggles we face, the house we are in danger of losing, or the tears on my pillow late at night. I hope you never see my quiet desperation and uncertainty. I hope you never know that I’ve lost my job to budget cuts 5 times, just like I have now. I hope you cannot see the moments of hopelessness in my heart and how much I have aged in such a short time. I hope you remember how strong your Mama is and how I would do anything for you both. There is no SuperMom, just an ordinary Mom in extraordinary circumstances. And one last thing…..when you are given to, it is always with a promise that you will in some way give back.

Love, Love, Love,

The Third Musketeer

Please help us. Thank you

Hello. I lost my job when my daughter with spina bifida got severly burned at her fathers house and she had to go into the hospital. I had to call in less than 2 hours before my shift, and they said if I didnt show up for my shift I would be a no call no show. Im sorry but my daughter comes first. That was 2 months ago. I have been viligently looking for a job since, and finally found one. It is to start on may 21st. To answer eveyones first question, I have pawned my tv and wii to get gad money to look for jobs, and to get my daughter back and fourth to drs appointments, and to get myself back and fourth to drs appointments and surgery, as they are 95% sure I have breast cancer. I will know for sure this week. I tried to take out a title loan, but they wont let me due to no income. I am at the point where begging is my only option as I have no family or friends that can help. I have asked the labor workforce and community action, salvation army, ect, and they cant help. I am nit asking for it to be just given, just a loan til I get paid. If anyone can help, even 5 dollars, it would help. Thank you so much.

hi im not sure how promising this website is but i guess we shall see. first off im not begging for money but i please ask that you add me to your prayer because i could sure use it. here is my story: I am 24 years old i have been working full time since i was 16 and had my own place the day i turned 18 my mom raised 3 kids all alone so she taught me to be independent when i turned 20 i was diagnoosed with Crohns disease i only had few flare ups and for the most part stayed in remission as of april 4 2012 my world has been turned upside down not only am i not in remission anymore but my body is rejecting medication which is resulting in me losing my intestines and having a colostimy bag for the rest of my life but the hospital ran a ct scan on me when i was in the hospital for a 3 1/2 week stay and found one large lump and 4 small lumps in my left breast and a large mass on my left ovary, at this point they arent concerned about the mass on my ovary but the large lump on my breast doesnt look good at all. i am now deeply depressed and just asking for a prayer i am home from the hospital now but i cant pay my bills or afford my medication all my bills are now past due and i havnt had meds in 2 days i dont know what i will do next ive applied for medicaid and awaiting my approval my dr adviced me to apply for disability which i did but it is a 3-6 month process on top of all these health problems i have, now i have all these bills that i look at over and over everyday i have never not been able to pay my bills and not been able to buy food and now i have nothing im negative in my account because my car insurance gets directly taken out... sorry so long guess i just needed to vent even if you cant spare one dollar please all i ask is for a prayer i never thought at age 24 i will be dealing with this but like my mother used to tell me "god will not give you what you cant handle" so please just keep me in mind when saying a prayer

I have never done anything like this before but I dont know what else to do. I work everyday and still cannot stay above water. I work so much I hardly get to spend anytime with my kids. I have gotten behind on my car note and my rent is due and I cant pay either one because I had to pay the light bill and buy food. I have nobody to ask for help and I have really bad credit. I know its hard being a single mom and im doing the best I can but I feel like I'm drowning really fast. I dont wanna have to tell my kids we have to move agian because mommy cant pay our rent or they took mommys car away because i couldnt pay note. I dont blow money or buy unecessary things I go without so my kids can have what they need. I was doing ok until some bills came out of my account and I didnt have enough money to cover it. So now on top of everything I have to lose my account is overdrawn. So Im asking for help so we dont have to move or lose my car. A mom feels so bad when i can only buy a few groceries and constantly have to tell my kids im sorry mommy cant get that I have no money. thank you

im a hard working mom of a 5month old boy i have a boyfriend that works and i babysit im 20 years old my son recieves disability this is why i babysit so im home with him, somebody broke into the rent drop box and stole a bunch of peoples money mine just so happened to be one they took, i thought this was a nice neighborhood but people r in need, i will repay anybody that helps, i know millions of people say its our fault where in this predicument but its just life everyday things go up people r laid off jobs pay shitty, all im asking is for 500.00 and we will repay you! thank you for reading or just judging me, god bless those who care and those who dont! its a shame when a begging website asks you for 10 bucks! to get good donors wow i wouldnt be writing on here if i had 10 bucks! sorry for complaining im stressed! dont have a paypal, please donate by mail or send western union and email me with what u sent and that, i will keep tract and pay u back, brittany_woods2001@yahoo.com

I posted a beg online because I need help and so far all i have gotten is two guys offering help(Scams). One wanted my name, address, phone number and wanted to send me checks so i could take out some money for myself and and send the rest to orphanage in Canada. The other took me through a long process of how he could know for sure I needed help. He made me believe he was sincere and genuinely willing to help. at the end of the day all he wanted was my bank account info. He said the only way he helps people is thru chase bank wire transfers and credit cards. When I told him I couldn't get a chase bank account he never contacted me again. If somebody is willing to help you they will donate via PayPal. I have not received any help yet but I hate scammers. I may have just gotten on begslist but to attempt to exploit already down on their luck individuals disgust me and If I am ever contacted by another person attempting to scam me I will make it my personal mission in life to demolish their sorry asses. I sometimes comment on peoples post asking if they want to be a referral for me and make some extra money that way. It is legit and I stand y my word. I do that because I need help too and although I am supposed to keep the money I make I pay some of it out to the person because they need the money and I feel something is better than nothing but there is no tricks or games. I'm starting to believe that nobody helps anybody on here but I have to hope I am wrong. I am trying to pay my past due and current rent before I am evicted as well as take care of my 2 son's. I have a 2yr old and a 4 month old and they keep me busy. my email is ycurry@yahoo.com if you are seriously interested in being a referral for me and completing some free offers(and I will help you understand how to do everything so you get credit) then hit me up. If you are interested in donating to me to help my family that is also my PayPal email address or you can hit the donate button below. If You want to scam me, try your luck and I guarantee it will be the biggest mistake of you've ever made! This is supposed to be about people helping people right?

I'm a single mother aged 35. I've lived in California for almost 14 years ( it will be 15 this year on memorial day weekend.)
I’m going to be a little blunt, because I'm tired and I want to give up so bad, but I can't. I'm better than that and my kids are my motivator. I wake up everyday and remind myself of 2 things :1) Faith is what you have when you all your beliefs are blown to hell. 2) What doesn't kill you makes you stronger -Nietzsche

I am a 35 year old educated, ambitious, head strong woman. I have owned my own business with my soon to be ex. I know what hard work and determination are. I went to private school and I am educated. I value my community and have always given back and will continue to do so. I also know that I have the drive and determination to get myself back on track. I'm not ASKING for a handout, I'm asking for help up! I also know what loss is. I don't have the business, a house or EVEN the car anymore. We lost everything. He bounced back , I didn’t. All I have is HOPE, that someone or some program can help me carve a path back to self sufficiency.
It's gone continually downhill.I am amazed at the allotment of programs for both housing and employment for all different walks of life. However, what about those that are just struggling. No hang ups, no record, just struggling and are LOW INCOME. I'm not writing this to make you feel sorry, I'm writing this because I have exhausted possibilities that I have researched both on my own or been given the information to do the work with.
There are people who struggle everyday through no fault of their own. They don't want a hand out, but help up would be a relief. Society doesn't need band-aids they need solutions.
Not every county, city or state program fits everyone's needs.
First of all Section 8 has been closed since BEFORE I left my marriage so that idea could never work. The list has been closed for years. Because I have limited time with my children, I do not qualify for CALWORKS. I have tried getting assistance in every way possible. I had very little unemployment left since I have been struggling to find work. I was delayed for about 3 months because they needed verification and I had to appeal and request a hearing. I have won my appeal but will only receive $91/week and for a short period of time.
I took a project management class through WIA in 2011, and I was able to get CTB benefits. I NEED HELP. I have hit the absolute worst point in my life and still refuse to give up. I have been looking for work and am now HOMELESS.I am in week 3 of staying in an extended stay hotel (paid for by my mother back east, who makes maybe $26,000/yr in PA) I recently sold my car because I needed to pay bills and rent. I have maybe $75 to my name.
The fact that they say there are services for low income/ homeless is frustrating. I say this because there is no category for me. I'm not a drug addict or in recovery. I don't have a mental illness. I wasn't in prison, I don’t' even have a RECORD. I can proudly say I've never been arrested or even in the back of a cop car. I'm not a victim of domestic violence and I do not beat my kids. Why aren't there programs in place for single parents struggling to make it? Everyday people that are responsible and respectable. I understand the need to assist those that may not have the capacity to take care of themselves. However, I have a huge problem with the fact that Santa Clara County & all programs (private, govt or state funded) will rehabilitate and reintroduced felons into the community, but if you're poor, homeless, no record, are looking for work, have high intelligence; sorry, you can't get help. This sounds extremely cynical and jaded, but I am a little after going through all I have.
I have been told constantly “I wish I could do something but we don't have any programs to help you.” My favorite reply is: "Yeah and you have done everything. I'm surprised you even knew about all the programs you did"
I have talked to employment counselors, program coordinators, program advocates and case managers, volunteers, just about anyone. The bankruptcy is hindering my chances of securing housing, even if I had employment.

The icing on the cake has to be with food stamps and General Assistance. I qualified for Cal-Fresh. However, at the time I had a car worth $2200. So I wasn't able to get General Assistance. Fast Forward a year later, I HAD to sell my car to pay bills. Now this month when I went for General Assistance, I qualify.

It's a never ending cycle, a constant push down. I can take public transportation to work, but to get around and see my boys and being able to transport them would be extremely difficult, not to mention financially stressing. I have scoured employment books, read articles, searched the library, spent hours online trying to find a job, program, a company, anybody who could be a resource whether for low income assistance or employment.
I can probably tell you about a plethora of services this county (Santa Clara) offers for both income assistance and job services.I am registered with CALJOBS; I know all the career sites and have my resume there. I get interviews, however I am starting to think the bankruptcy from loss of business is holding me back when employers do background check.
I also could teach the business writing class or the resume writing classes they offer at Work2Future, I practically did when I took them. I could do the same at Sacred Heart. I've been to InnVision and EHC. I’ve talked to Sunnyvale Community Services. Boy he was a treat he sounded older then my 80 yr old grandma. When I said I need housing and employment help, he gruffly told me to check the newspaper and hung up. I've called St Josephs in Gilroy. I've talked to a program coordinator at West Valley Community Services. I called the Sobrato Organization hoping they had ties to something and one the employees just by grace of god happened to pick up and take my call. I was able to talk to someone at HIF (they couldn't help)
.
I am responsible, respectable and just want to work, have a place to live, and be able to have my children 50/50. I have no police record. I am not in recovery, nor have I ever had to be in a program
I want to work and am attaching a compilation of ALL my work skills. I would not send this out otherwise, I would tailor it specifically to the job I am applying for.

I used to volunteer as much as I could I like being active in my community and helping others. I'm still about that I believe in PAY IT FORWARD. I believe the good you do comes back to you tenfold and that no matter what is going wrong in your life, someone else is struggling just as much if not more; so be thankful for what you have.
I attend church and was a hospitality volunteer for that as well.
I just need help getting on my feet. I have no family, other than my children here in CA.
I do not want to move back east and be far away from them. I want to work, I want to live again. I want to smile and mean it.

I hate what my life has become and know that I am SO MUCH BETTER THEN THIS.
Please help me : money is fine, but it's only a temporary fix, please help me find a program that can assist me in getting on my feet, direct me to employment, and most of all afford me the opportunity to have my children much more consistently so I can be a mom again.
Thank you
Courtney DiMiceli

PLEASE I am Desperate! I am really sorry for the short notice, but Im in sort of a jam. I really really need to get into this college, and the only problem is that although I am elligible for finaincial aid, but I need to pay my new student fee. By the first of May. Which is today. Sadly, I asked the financial aid office if they could use the grant money to pay the fee but they said no. The way I see it is this: If everyone I know would kindly donate a little, then I would be able to pay it. Please, I'll pay you guys back, could you donate using PayPal or something? I made a Fundrazr on facebook but no one has given me anything yet: http://fnd.us/c/aH5n8 via @FundRazr

I have anxiety disorder, sometimes raging agoraphobia and also fell in 2007, causing two vertebrae to bulge and also did some nerve damage to my left arm. I suffer from severe back pain, hip and leg pain everyday and I drop things with my left had constantly! I tried and tried to push on, through the pain and depression I had but finally cracked and I was laid off in 2010 from my job for not being able to handle the pain or the pressure and stress and shortly thereafter met a guy who I will call Jake. Jake has panic disorder, agoraphobia and dependent personality disorder. His family had abandoned him, his friends had become fatigued with his panic attacks. He was in a bad situation being abused by someone who was taking advantage of his disabilities. My mother had over 20 years of suffering this type of illness and was in an abusive marriage, and I had had my own issues with anxiety and depression so I felt I had to help. I invited him to come live in my home. I told him I would do all I could to help. I arranged some free therapy. Introduced him to my friends and family. Gave him all the kindness and love I had in me.

I had hoped it would help. It has not. He is still depressed, still agoraphobic and the worst part for me, still has dependent personality disorder. Now for those who don’t know what this is, well it means I can’t leave the house without him and naturally he can’t leave the house without me. We have not been more than 50 feet from each other in the year he has been here. He can’t go and do anything like movies, bowling, shopping or anything like that so I can’t either, when I myself feel able to do any of those things that is. Don’t feel sorry for me though. I have fallen in love and this is a small sacrifice to make sure he is okay.

We both applied for disability five months ago but it is still working through the process. My unemployment ran out six weeks ago so we have no more income and to make matters worse my father who has early onset dementia with psychotic features had no where else to go so he is living with us now. This has all put serious strain on me. How to pay bills with no money? How do I help this man I love get better? How do I get my sick dad, who has no one else to help him get to appointments with doctors and therapist when I can’t leave the house myself? How do I get better?

I am in serious need of help. I need to be able to at least keep the house and keep the lights on. I don’ t know what to do. I am lost. There is no help for someone who tries to help others. I called the department of family and children services and asked if there was any government program or even charity they knew of that I could apply for help with and they acted like I was a crazy person. She was like, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to do for you.”

I am out of savings and my bills are due. I have appealed to family and friends but they are all strapped themselves. I have sold my van, a computer and anything else I had around my house to survive but I am tapped out. Now I am here, depressed and hurting all the time, my friend is here, depressed and we both are having a lot of anxiety. My dad is here and has no where else to go and I am so scared. I have never been in a situation where I had not only my life but the lives of others in my hands and I can’t do anything.

I feel helpless, hopeless and sometimes think it’s not worth going on. I just need some help making my bills for now until disability comes through. Then some of my stress will be reduced. Some that is. But that is most pressing right now. Like I said, keeping the lights on and a phone and car going in case of emergencies.

On top of everything I feel so alone. I have to try and smile because I don’t want my friend or dad to worry. I won’t them to know I am gonna be here for them and not let them down. But I don’t know where to turn to get the help so that does not happen. I am afraid. I am scared. I am depressed and stressed. I need help.

I'm not going to give a sorry story. I'm a straight forward 32 year old single mom who don't sugar coat things. I am in need of money to move into a new apartment. One months rent, plus last months rent and security all upfront is hard for me to come up with on short notice, and my landlord sold the house I'm in. $4500.00 total is what I need in less than a week. I'm just hoping a goodhearted person with money will read this and be willing to donate. I am not a degenerate, I work full time, don't do drugs or gamble, and I am the kind of person when someone homeless or begging on the street asks me for money I give it to them. I have a huge heart and am always willing to help a person in need myself, I just can't swing this one on my own, and don't know anyone who could help me.

My Beautiful wife died on April 13th the year before last – nearly a thousand days ago. God colected her when I went to the shops and she was on her own. 37 years we were together. I made a mess of the finanses because I thought I could pay off the morgage and leave enough for the bills. It didn’t happen like that and I cant pay them. I sold the car for the overdraft strate away. I’ve had no work since I took early retirment to look after her. Now I’m in my sixties, nobody will have me to work, and its 4 yers before my pension. I am ashamed to ask but I don’t know what else to do. Can you spare me some to pay my bills? Thank you if you can. And thank you if you can’t anyway. It’s nice to know somebody cares. i don’t seem to have many friends left now she’s gone. Where do people go? Sorry if I’ve gone on a bit I do miss her

My name is Gary Griffin , im a 32
year old man that used to be a very hard worker in the job force, in
2010 I became very ill and had to stop working , i tried to get social
security dissability and have been denied 2 times and now am having to
wait for a hearing infront of a judge, they keep giving me some excuse
that my age and ability to get retrained for other work is the reason
for denile. I have congestive heart failure, enlarged heart, and an
irregular heartbeat requiring a defibulator implant in my chest , and
now have type 2 diabeties on top of that, with my medical problems I
can no longer work, just living around my house seems like a full time
job now. I have exausted all available unemployment insurance. and now
have no way to pay my bills and support my family, bills are piling up
and ill be lucky to pay rent, ( having to borrow from my brother) . I
am lost and dont know what to do , i cant get a job but need money to
live on untill i go to court for ssd. do you have any suggestions I could really use some donations right now! sorry for the sob
story but I am going mental trying to figure this out ! I already get
food asistance but food stamps dont pay the bills lol. I really need
help , thanks for listening needed to get this off my chest . Just been put on medicine for diabeties supposed to take 2 pills a day checked price of meds cheapest for 60 is $470 thats rediculous! My health is getting worse and the stress of my financal situation is killing me I despratly need donations any thing will help! We have no one to go to for help as both my wife and I our parents have all past away no family to turn to ,my brother has over run his finances to help me and now he is having problems too! please help me with any donations any thing will help

My husband and i have been married 7 years, both work full time but bought a house (when i say bought, i mean got an interest only mortgage on a rubbish deal tied in for 5 year)that was 3 years ago and we pay our way but thats all we can afford to do, we try to save but what pity little we manage to put back is always needed for something, most recently the dentist, needed antibiotics 3 times, £7.50 each time because we work,£17.50 just for the dentist to see me and thats the NHS dentist. Sorry for going on, our problem is that we desperatly want a baby together, we have been through every test the docs wanted and the end result was unexplained infertility and as weve been trying for 7 years he gave us a 1% chance of conceiving naturally , usually the NHS would offer 3 attempts at IVF but because my husband has a son (hes 16 now) who i love and have been lucky enough to have in my life, we are not eligible and will have to pay approx £5000 for 1 attempt at IVF.Obviously if anyone by some mirracle was able to help i would get and provide with receipts or a statement of how much it costs. i havent got a bit of paper with the price on but ill sharp get one and show you. I hate doing this,begging, it's against everything i stand for bar one thing and i would give my life just for the oppportunity. My husband is 43 which to the docs is no issue but im 28, 29 this year so the clock is ticking. ivf is only offered under 36 years for woman.Any help even just advice, we'd be most grateful,please and thank you. Sarah x

Ive never done this before so i dont know what to expect from people, i'm just in desperate need of money and am running out of options. Basically me and my parter (21 and 19) moved out together about 5 months ago, she's at college and im still desperately looking for a job. Until now we have been able to just about get by by living off income support, only things have taken a turn for the worst. Our cat Yugi was hit by a car and needed surgery on his leg. It cost us £600 and now were seriously in debt. I owe companies such as british gas, souther electric ALOT of money and simply cant afford to pay them right now. We have had numerous letters threatening to send round the bayliffs and i'm scared for my partner and myself. I know some of you may be thinking it was stupid to of spent the money on the cat and get ourselves into this situation, but the cat means a great deal to us and is such a loving member of our little family that weve made together since moving out.

Sorry to ramble on, but please if your able to make any donations to help us out it would be greatly appreciated, even if its just a £1 it would still be appreciated and make a difference.

No matter what your decision is, thank you for you time and have a good day.

Ben.

My daughter and I are in need of finding a place of our own. These past couple months have been extremely hard because of the death of my mother. We were all living together and my mom was splitting the rent with me and I was working to take care of her. She was sick with Cancer and she had the operation and we all thought she was going to be okay. She did not recover like we expected and she ended up going in a Rehabilitation Center and we visited her often until she came home. I am the youngest of her children. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister and we are called the Berry 5. We were allways known as the Berry Family from the time we were little. My mom started to do better and we were so happy to have her home. It came time for her to Start Chemotherapy and Radiation. She was scared but I and my sister talked her into it because we knew the doctors had told us that she needed it because the cancer had spread to her lymp nodes and when they did the surgery they were not able to get everything. My mom had done one week of Radiation and she went in for one session of Chemo. The same day she had Chemo she seemed fine and then 2 days later she was having fevers, throwing up and so extremely weak. I thought it was because of the Chemo because that is what was explained to us. My concern was she couldn't keep anything down. I needed to give her medication for her Diabetes and High Blood Pressure but everytime I gave her anything, it all came up and so I was so scared because her blood sugar was high and I didn't want it to get any higher. She began to complain of stomach pain and I thought it was another side effect of the Chemo. For a couple days of her vomiting and having diarrhea, I was able to get some fluids down her and it seemed to stay. Little by little we both thought she was doing better. Her strength was not there though, it was difficult for her to even get up to go to the bathroom. The following day she continued to vomit and I was scared so I told her she needed to go to the hospital, because I felt that they could help her more. They could give her medications through an IV and they could find out why she was so weak and everything. She was scared and did not want to go but I convinced her. The ambulance came and took her to the hospital. I tried to follow her but I had to pick up my 11 year old daughter from school. I did go and they would not let me go back right away. I told them my mom had been brought in and they told me she wasn't checked in yet. About 20 minutes passed and I went back up to the window and they told me they would see if the doctor would let me back there and they were saying my daughter couldn't come back there because she wasn't 14, I told them she is only 11 years old and I'm not leaving her in the waiting room with strangers and that she was coming back there with me. They finally let us in and we went back to see my mom. I couldn't believe they had her hooked up to so many machines and she was on morphine and so out of it. I walked up to her and I said Ma, I'm here and she turned and looked at me. She was happy to see me, but then she told me that they told her, they found blood in her stools. I told her it was probably just do to her Hemorrhoids. but she said they told her it was positive for something. I asked her for what and she didn't know. I began looking for the doctor so I could ask questions but he wasn't around and everyone I talked to told me the doctor would be in soon to go over my mom's condition. I stayed with my mom, just holding her hand, telling her I loved her and that she was going to be okay. They came in to take her to have an ultrasound and my daughter and I waited. The doctor finally came in and told me that my mom had an abcess in her stomach that had burst. I said what are you talking about? He said that she had a condition called peridonitis and that the abcess burst and was releasing all this poison inside her stomach and her blood pressure was dropping dramatically. He then told me it was too dangerous for them to operate at that time because her INR level to to high. My mom had been taking Cumadin for a blood clot that she previously had and the cumadin made her INR level extremely high and her blood was not clotting so they said if they did surgery, she would bleed out. They said they needed to correct it by giving her lots of blood products and they gave her all kinds of strong antibiotics and blood and plasma. They were pumping so much stuff into her, I didn't know what to do. Her blood pressure was like 85/60 and then like 76/40 and it was getting lower and lower. They had her hooked up to so many IVs and then they told me that she was the sickest person they had in the ER. So many doctors and interns and students and nurses overcrowded my mom's room. I called my sister and told her what was going on and she came down to be with me and my daughter. They told us they would do all they could for my mom but that it didn't look good. I began to pray, my mom had always taught me to pray and give things over to god. As the night went on, they decided to put an IV in my moms neck, they said it was more direct and if and when she went to surgery it would be better to have that in place. They made us leave the room and they had like 10 people in there with there machines and cameras and equipment to help guide them where to put the IV at. I had never gone through this before and I was so scared but I was keeping my faith. One doctor wanted to talk to me and my sister alone and I didn't want to hear him telling me anything negative. He asked us a lot of questions concerning my mom's health and history. He then told us that she was in acute renal failure and that her colon was damaged where the abcess bursts and fecal was being released into her abdomen. This is the last thing I wanted to hear. I asked him if they could fix it, he said they would do all they could but that their main focus was trying to bring her INR levels down because they were dangerously high. She was also anemic and that is why she was so weak, her blood level was extremely low. They were continuously giving her blood products, antibiotics and plasma. My sister decided to take my daughter home with her. I told her I would call her when I knew when they were going to do surgery. The surgeon had spoken to us and said that it was a good chance, and that operating was her only chance and once her blood level was corrected that they would go in and repair the damage. I felt some what relieved but as the night went on she was in a fight for her life. The main doctor working on my mom's case came and told me that her breathing was not getting any better and that he needed to put her to sleep so he could intubate her and put a breathing tube down her throat. He said it would be good to have anyways so that she would be ready when they went to surgery. There was nothing I could do except walk out of the room and wait. I continued to pray and wait and pray and wait. Hours went by and I would walk and peek inside the room and see my mom's blood pressure increasing some, this gave me hope but then the doctor would come and tell me it wasn't looking like she was improving and that we needed to prepare that she might not make it through the night. i couldn't believe what he was telling me. I called my sister and my brother and told them , they were praying as well. I didn't know who to listen to, one doctor is telling me it's hopeless and the surgeon is telling me it's a good chance she would be okay once taken to surgery. I sat in the hall because they wouldn't let me back in and they stayed with her at all times, monitoring her and giving her medicine and all the blood and stuff back to back. Then they came out in the hall and told me they were ready to take her to surgery. They said she might not hear you but you can still talk to her. I walked up to her lying there, so still and I told her how much I loved her and i told her to fight and that we would do it togther and that I would be here when she woke up and that I was not leaving her. The surgeon put me in the OR waiting room. I was all alone in there by myself. I waited and waited and only 20 mins went by and a security guard told me there was a cafe there and if I wanted to go grab a cup of coffee that I could. I went downstairs and got the coffee, as soon as I reached the OR floor I saw the surgeon standing there, he walked over to me and he said, I'm sorry but your mom's heart stopped during surgery and we revived her but then it stopped again and he said I don't we can get it back. My whole world just crumbled, I began screaming and crying and I fell to the floor. I was just askig God why. Why is this happening? This security lady came over to comfort me and began telling me how sorry she was and asked me if I had any family I could call. I called my sister and told her and she said she was on her way down. She lived in another city about 45 mins away. I was still on the ground just broken and this lady began to tell me that God would help me and give me the strength to go on. She asked me if I had any children, I told her I had a daughter, and she told me I needed to be strong for her. I wasn't trying to hear all that. My whole world was ripped right from under me. A couple of doctors and this lady helped me off the floor and the surgeon that came out , came out again and told me they would take me back to see her. They brought out a wheelchair and wheeled me back there and when they opened the door, my god I just saw them on top of her doing chest compressions and I was just screaming and then the surgeon is telling me I need to make a decision because everytime they do that, they are hurting her and he said, you don't want her to suffer anymore. I was just waiting on my sister4. I didn't want to make that call but I didn't want them pounding her chest in so I told them to stop. It killed in me inside. They wheeled me over to her and I just cried. My mom was only 60 years old and she had her whole life ahead of her and I don't understand why any of this happened. She was such a beautiful person and she had been a christian for 33 years. SHe loved the lord and she raised me and my siblings up in the church. I couldn't believe that she was gone because I had prayed and prayed and I just knew that God would spare her life. I lost my real father at the age of 16 and even then I didn't know him. I always had my mom and she remarried when I was 11 years old. She had been married for 19 years and my step father passed away in July of 2008. He was a sickly person and she took care of him and nursed him for all those years. He had diabetes, high blood pressure, prostate cancer, he was on dialysis for kidney failure, he had a four by pass surgery and he was in and out of the hospitals for years. She suffered so much seeing him suffer and taking care of him, he took what little strength she had. But because he was her husband she did all she could to help him and she loved him so much. So now all remains is just me and my siblings. It's hard because my mom was my best friend. I can't remember a time when she wasn't around. We did everything together and we lived together for years and I took care of her. I wanted so bad for her to be okay and to make it through surgery, I had been taught for years about the love of Jesus and I couldn't understand what he chose to take her away from her children and grandchildren. We had a two bedroom apartment and she had her room and my daughter and I shared a room. After she died, I went home that morning with my sister and I stayed over there for the remainder of the day. The whole day was just hurting, crying and calling the rest of the family. I felt so bad because my youngest brother, say youngest because he is the youngest of my 3 brothers, even though they are all older than me. He came to the hospital to see my mom but he thought she was still alive and the doctors didn't tell him, they let him in the room and she was already covered up and he walked in and was like, it's over ?? he couldn't believe it , he just broke down. One of the nurses that was in the OR called my sister and he was crying, apologizing to us because he thought my brother already knew. He told us how sorry he was. Now my family is broken, my mom was the rock that held us all together. We didn't have money growing up, we didn't have a lot of the finer things in life but we had love. She loved us like no one could. She did it all for her children and most importantly she taught us about God. She lived her life for Jesus, she would pray on a regular basis, read her bible daily, go to church often as she could and when things looked hopeless she took them to god in prayer. She prayed not only for her children, grandchildren and siblings but for people all over the world, she would pray for all the countries and for the sick and homeless and anyone she could pray for. She gave over the years endlessly to Trinity Broadcasting Network, Feed the children, CBN, David Terrell Ministries, Boys Town, Children International, Food For All and to so many others. Month after month, year after year she was giving. She taught us how to give and there were times when we would just make food and take it to the park to give to the homeless, bottled water, sandwiches, noodles, chicken or whatever we could. She would never turn down a person needing help or asking for spare change, she would give freely. She would tell me all the time, it's better to give than to receive and that god would bless me. So I began giving as well, I would call and donate and try to help whenever I could. My mom was also a big giver to the goodwill. Over the years we gave so much, and everytime they would ask if we wanted a donation paper for a tax write off she would say no. she didn't want that, she was giving freely and she didn't want anything in return. That's who she was, she was the person who would mentor you and talk to you about Jesus and how over the years he brought her and our family through so many trials and tribulations. SHe praised god for everything, for the good times and the bad. She used to always tell me to be thankful and to praise god. Now there were times when i was suffering so much and I didn't want to praise god, I wanted god to help me and at the time it seemed like he wasn't. My mom was always there to tell me baby, hold on.. give your burdens over to the lord and he will help you and supply all your needs. I realized that he did just that. I remember when she had surgery for the cancer and she was wondering why god allowed her to come down with that. It was hard for her because her faith was shaken then. She couldn't believe after she was faithful to him for so many years that he would allow her to suffer so horribly and there my sister and I were telling her that she would be okay, that God loved her still and he had not forsaken her and that he would bring her through this. She was so discouraged at the time but we would not let up. She couldn't believe this was her children mentoring and encouragiing her as she had done for us over the years. She told me, she was happy and she felt relieved that her living and everything she had taught us was not in vain. She was thankful to God that we were listening to her and by example we followed her footsteps. She began to get better and we thought she would be okay. My mom was a pure Christian, she didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, didn't curse. She would make you turn the tv channel if you were watching something that cursed. She loved her cowboys though. Her favorites were Bonanza, The rifle man, High Chapparal, Wagon Train, The Virginian and so many others. She also loved the old shows, the clean shows, the original dennis the menace, columbo, family affair, petticoat junction, I married joan, hawai five o, the streets of san francisco, i spy, murder she wrote, in the heat of the night, matlock, the big vally, dr quinn, little house on the prairie, family ties, good times, 227, what's happening, the jeffersons, the brady bunch and so many others. Her favorite game shows were The price is right, deal or no deal, let's make a deal, the newlywed game, match game and who wants to be a millionaire. I loved spending time with my mom, she was someone I could always talk to and she would never judge me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. She taught me how to carry myself as a lady and she taught me how to stand up for myself and I owe her so much. I felt like I let her down that night she was in the hospital and I told her she would be okay and that I would be waiting for her when she woke up but she never woke up. I felt that made me a liar. I had been taking care of my mom for months and I was preparing her meals, giving her medications on schedule and was taking her to her appointments and running errands for her. My mom had been weak for so long because before she found out she had cancer she was bleeding perfusely having vaginal bleeding and they made her very anemic. Before surgery she had 4 transfusions and then after surgery she had 2 more. She never got all her strength back and after she had the first surgery, she was too weak that they sent her to Ballard Rehabilitation and they were working on getting her strength back and getting her up and walking. She did so much better when she was in there and when she came home, they sent out a home health nurse, a physcialy therapist and an occupational therapist. They began doing exercises with her and the physical therapist thought it would benefit my mom to have some help with getting around. So she ordered her an walker , the kind that had a seat on it, she ordered her a wheel chair, a raised toilet seat with the rails and a shower chair and shower bench. So when my mom started walking more better she was using her walker all the time, it was helping her because she had the support to keep her from falling and when she got tired , she could just sit down. I did all I could to take care of her, on a daily basis. She was not strong enough to shower herself, so I bought the shower hose and I began to shower her daily, dress her and do everything for her but I loved her so much and I didn't care what I had to do, she was my mom. There were days when she thought she was a burden to me and she would tell me, that I work to hard and that she was sorry she was not able to do things for herself and i would immediately tell her to stop talking like that. I would tell her, she was my mom, I loved her and wanted to look after her and that she wasn't a burden on me. That she took care of me when I was little and over the years and now it was my turn to take care of her. She told me a couple weeks before she passed away , you said, you really stood by your mom, when all the others went on their way. you stood by your mom. She said, I don't know what I would have done with out you. She said I don't know how I would have made it and she said god is really going to bless you and he will remember everything you did for your mother. She told me how special I was and now that she is gone , I remember everything she ever told me. It has been so hard, going through all her things and seeing all the cards and letters she gave me over the years. Everybody keeps telling me it will get better but I don't see that happening. I can't go one day without crying for missing her so much. I am grateful because she is not in any more pain but I am hurting so badly without her. I have a big sister but we have never been that close, she seems to want to spend more time with me now but nobody could ever feel that empty space inside my heart for my mother. I recently moved in with my brother and I want so desperately for me and my daughter to be able to get a place of our own. It costs so much to pay for first and last months rent and I have this old 1994 car that has been giving me so much trouble and I am barely scraping along , just trying to make it. I would appreciate any help I am given. If anyone can find it in their heart to help me and my daughter move out and get our own place or simply help us with the day to day necessities, it would be greatly appreciated.

My daughter and I are in need of finding a place of our own. These past couple months have been extremely hard because of the death of my mother. We were all living together and my mom was splitting the rent with me and I was working to take care of her. She was sick with Cancer and she had the operation and we all thought she was going to be okay. She did not recover like we expected and she ended up going in a Rehabilitation Center and we visited her often until she came home. I am the youngest of her children. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister and we are called the Berry 5. We were allways known as the Berry Family from the time we were little. My mom started to do better and we were so happy to have her home. It came time for her to Start Chemotherapy and Radiation. She was scared but I and my sister talked her into it because we knew the doctors had told us that she needed it because the cancer had spread to her lymp nodes and when they did the surgery they were not able to get everything. My mom had done one week of Radiation and she went in for one session of Chemo. The same day she had Chemo she seemed fine and then 2 days later she was having fevers, throwing up and so extremely weak. I thought it was because of the Chemo because that is what was explained to us. My concern was she couldn't keep anything down. I needed to give her medication for her Diabetes and High Blood Pressure but everytime I gave her anything, it all came up and so I was so scared because her blood sugar was high and I didn't want it to get any higher. She began to complain of stomach pain and I thought it was another side effect of the Chemo. For a couple days of her vomiting and having diarrhea, I was able to get some fluids down her and it seemed to stay. Little by little we both thought she was doing better. Her strength was not there though, it was difficult for her to even get up to go to the bathroom. The following day she continued to vomit and I was scared so I told her she needed to go to the hospital, because I felt that they could help her more. They could give her medications through an IV and they could find out why she was so weak and everything. She was scared and did not want to go but I convinced her. The ambulance came and took her to the hospital. I tried to follow her but I had to pick up my 11 year old daughter from school. I did go and they would not let me go back right away. I told them my mom had been brought in and they told me she wasn't checked in yet. About 20 minutes passed and I went back up to the window and they told me they would see if the doctor would let me back there and they were saying my daughter couldn't come back there because she wasn't 14, I told them she is only 11 years old and I'm not leaving her in the waiting room with strangers and that she was coming back there with me. They finally let us in and we went back to see my mom. I couldn't believe they had her hooked up to so many machines and she was on morphine and so out of it. I walked up to her and I said Ma, I'm here and she turned and looked at me. She was happy to see me, but then she told me that they told her, they found blood in her stools. I told her it was probably just do to her Hemorrhoids. but she said they told her it was positive for something. I asked her for what and she didn't know. I began looking for the doctor so I could ask questions but he wasn't around and everyone I talked to told me the doctor would be in soon to go over my mom's condition. I stayed with my mom, just holding her hand, telling her I loved her and that she was going to be okay. They came in to take her to have an ultrasound and my daughter and I waited. The doctor finally came in and told me that my mom had an abcess in her stomach that had burst. I said what are you talking about? He said that she had a condition called peridonitis and that the abcess burst and was releasing all this poison inside her stomach and her blood pressure was dropping dramatically. He then told me it was too dangerous for them to operate at that time because her INR level to to high. My mom had been taking Cumadin for a blood clot that she previously had and the cumadin made her INR level extremely high and her blood was not clotting so they said if they did surgery, she would bleed out. They said they needed to correct it by giving her lots of blood products and they gave her all kinds of strong antibiotics and blood and plasma. They were pumping so much stuff into her, I didn't know what to do. Her blood pressure was like 85/60 and then like 76/40 and it was getting lower and lower. They had her hooked up to so many IVs and then they told me that she was the sickest person they had in the ER. So many doctors and interns and students and nurses overcrowded my mom's room. I called my sister and told her what was going on and she came down to be with me and my daughter. They told us they would do all they could for my mom but that it didn't look good. I began to pray, my mom had always taught me to pray and give things over to god. As the night went on, they decided to put an IV in my moms neck, they said it was more direct and if and when she went to surgery it would be better to have that in place. They made us leave the room and they had like 10 people in there with there machines and cameras and equipment to help guide them where to put the IV at. I had never gone through this before and I was so scared but I was keeping my faith. One doctor wanted to talk to me and my sister alone and I didn't want to hear him telling me anything negative. He asked us a lot of questions concerning my mom's health and history. He then told us that she was in acute renal failure and that her colon was damaged where the abcess bursts and fecal was being released into her abdomen. This is the last thing I wanted to hear. I asked him if they could fix it, he said they would do all they could but that their main focus was trying to bring her INR levels down because they were dangerously high. She was also anemic and that is why she was so weak, her blood level was extremely low. They were continuously giving her blood products, antibiotics and plasma. My sister decided to take my daughter home with her. I told her I would call her when I knew when they were going to do surgery. The surgeon had spoken to us and said that it was a good chance, and that operating was her only chance and once her blood level was corrected that they would go in and repair the damage. I felt some what relieved but as the night went on she was in a fight for her life. The main doctor working on my mom's case came and told me that her breathing was not getting any better and that he needed to put her to sleep so he could intubate her and put a breathing tube down her throat. He said it would be good to have anyways so that she would be ready when they went to surgery. There was nothing I could do except walk out of the room and wait. I continued to pray and wait and pray and wait. Hours went by and I would walk and peek inside the room and see my mom's blood pressure increasing some, this gave me hope but then the doctor would come and tell me it wasn't looking like she was improving and that we needed to prepare that she might not make it through the night. i couldn't believe what he was telling me. I called my sister and my brother and told them , they were praying as well. I didn't know who to listen to, one doctor is telling me it's hopeless and the surgeon is telling me it's a good chance she would be okay once taken to surgery. I sat in the hall because they wouldn't let me back in and they stayed with her at all times, monitoring her and giving her medicine and all the blood and stuff back to back. Then they came out in the hall and told me they were ready to take her to surgery. They said she might not hear you but you can still talk to her. I walked up to her lying there, so still and I told her how much I loved her and i told her to fight and that we would do it togther and that I would be here when she woke up and that I was not leaving her. The surgeon put me in the OR waiting room. I was all alone in there by myself. I waited and waited and only 20 mins went by and a security guard told me there was a cafe there and if I wanted to go grab a cup of coffee that I could. I went downstairs and got the coffee, as soon as I reached the OR floor I saw the surgeon standing there, he walked over to me and he said, I'm sorry but your mom's heart stopped during surgery and we revived her but then it stopped again and he said I don't we can get it back. My whole world just crumbled, I began screaming and crying and I fell to the floor. I was just askig God why. Why is this happening? This security lady came over to comfort me and began telling me how sorry she was and asked me if I had any family I could call. I called my sister and told her and she said she was on her way down. She lived in another city about 45 mins away. I was still on the ground just broken and this lady began to tell me that God would help me and give me the strength to go on. She asked me if I had any children, I told her I had a daughter, and she told me I needed to be strong for her. I wasn't trying to hear all that. My whole world was ripped right from under me. A couple of doctors and this lady helped me off the floor and the surgeon that came out , came out again and told me they would take me back to see her. They brought out a wheelchair and wheeled me back there and when they opened the door, my god I just saw them on top of her doing chest compressions and I was just screaming and then the surgeon is telling me I need to make a decision because everytime they do that, they are hurting her and he said, you don't want her to suffer anymore. I was just waiting on my sister4. I didn't want to make that call but I didn't want them pounding her chest in so I told them to stop. It killed in me inside. They wheeled me over to her and I just cried. My mom was only 60 years old and she had her whole life ahead of her and I don't understand why any of this happened. She was such a beautiful person and she had been a christian for 33 years. SHe loved the lord and she raised me and my siblings up in the church. I couldn't believe that she was gone because I had prayed and prayed and I just knew that God would spare her life. I lost my real father at the age of 16 and even then I didn't know him. I always had my mom and she remarried when I was 11 years old. She had been married for 19 years and my step father passed away in July of 2008. He was a sickly person and she took care of him and nursed him for all those years. He had diabetes, high blood pressure, prostate cancer, he was on dialysis for kidney failure, he had a four by pass surgery and he was in and out of the hospitals for years. She suffered so much seeing him suffer and taking care of him, he took what little strength she had. But because he was her husband she did all she could to help him and she loved him so much. So now all remains is just me and my siblings. It's hard because my mom was my best friend. I can't remember a time when she wasn't around. We did everything together and we lived together for years and I took care of her. I wanted so bad for her to be okay and to make it through surgery, I had been taught for years about the love of Jesus and I couldn't understand what he chose to take her away from her children and grandchildren. We had a two bedroom apartment and she had her room and my daughter and I shared a room. After she died, I went home that morning with my sister and I stayed over there for the remainder of the day. The whole day was just hurting, crying and calling the rest of the family. I felt so bad because my youngest brother, say youngest because he is the youngest of my 3 brothers, even though they are all older than me. He came to the hospital to see my mom but he thought she was still alive and the doctors didn't tell him, they let him in the room and she was already covered up and he walked in and was like, it's over ?? he couldn't believe it , he just broke down. One of the nurses that was in the OR called my sister and he was crying, apologizing to us because he thought my brother already knew. He told us how sorry he was. Now my family is broken, my mom was the rock that held us all together. We didn't have money growing up, we didn't have a lot of the finer things in life but we had love. She loved us like no one could. She did it all for her children and most importantly she taught us about God. She lived her life for Jesus, she would pray on a regular basis, read her bible daily, go to church often as she could and when things looked hopeless she took them to god in prayer. She prayed not only for her children, grandchildren and siblings but for people all over the world, she would pray for all the countries and for the sick and homeless and anyone she could pray for. She gave over the years endlessly to Trinity Broadcasting Network, Feed the children, CBN, David Terrell Ministries, Boys Town, Children International, Food For All and to so many others. Month after month, year after year she was giving. She taught us how to give and there were times when we would just make food and take it to the park to give to the homeless, bottled water, sandwiches, noodles, chicken or whatever we could. She would never turn down a person needing help or asking for spare change, she would give freely. She would tell me all the time, it's better to give than to receive and that god would bless me. So I began giving as well, I would call and donate and try to help whenever I could. My mom was also a big giver to the goodwill. Over the years we gave so much, and everytime they would ask if we wanted a donation paper for a tax write off she would say no. she didn't want that, she was giving freely and she didn't want anything in return. That's who she was, she was the person who would mentor you and talk to you about Jesus and how over the years he brought her and our family through so many trials and tribulations. SHe praised god for everything, for the good times and the bad. She used to always tell me to be thankful and to praise god. Now there were times when i was suffering so much and I didn't want to praise god, I wanted god to help me and at the time it seemed like he wasn't. My mom was always there to tell me baby, hold on.. give your burdens over to the lord and he will help you and supply all your needs. I realized that he did just that. I remember when she had surgery for the cancer and she was wondering why god allowed her to come down with that. It was hard for her because her faith was shaken then. She couldn't believe after she was faithful to him for so many years that he would allow her to suffer so horribly and there my sister and I were telling her that she would be okay, that God loved her still and he had not forsaken her and that he would bring her through this. She was so discouraged at the time but we would not let up. She couldn't believe this was her children mentoring and encouragiing her as she had done for us over the years. She told me, she was happy and she felt relieved that her living and everything she had taught us was not in vain. She was thankful to God that we were listening to her and by example we followed her footsteps. She began to get better and we thought she would be okay. My mom was a pure Christian, she didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, didn't curse. She would make you turn the tv channel if you were watching something that cursed. She loved her cowboys though. Her favorites were Bonanza, The rifle man, High Chapparal, Wagon Train, The Virginian and so many others. She also loved the old shows, the clean shows, the original dennis the menace, columbo, family affair, petticoat junction, I married joan, hawai five o, the streets of san francisco, i spy, murder she wrote, in the heat of the night, matlock, the big vally, dr quinn, little house on the prairie, family ties, good times, 227, what's happening, the jeffersons, the brady bunch and so many others. Her favorite game shows were The price is right, deal or no deal, let's make a deal, the newlywed game, match game and who wants to be a millionaire. I loved spending time with my mom, she was someone I could always talk to and she would never judge me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. She taught me how to carry myself as a lady and she taught me how to stand up for myself and I owe her so much. I felt like I let her down that night she was in the hospital and I told her she would be okay and that I would be waiting for her when she woke up but she never woke up. I felt that made me a liar. I had been taking care of my mom for months and I was preparing her meals, giving her medications on schedule and was taking her to her appointments and running errands for her. My mom had been weak for so long because before she found out she had cancer she was bleeding perfusely having vaginal bleeding and they made her very anemic. Before surgery she had 4 transfusions and then after surgery she had 2 more. She never got all her strength back and after she had the first surgery, she was too weak that they sent her to Ballard Rehabilitation and they were working on getting her strength back and getting her up and walking. She did so much better when she was in there and when she came home, they sent out a home health nurse, a physcialy therapist and an occupational therapist. They began doing exercises with her and the physical therapist thought it would benefit my mom to have some help with getting around. So she ordered her an walker , the kind that had a seat on it, she ordered her a wheel chair, a raised toilet seat with the rails and a shower chair and shower bench. So when my mom started walking more better she was using her walker all the time, it was helping her because she had the support to keep her from falling and when she got tired , she could just sit down. I did all I could to take care of her, on a daily basis. She was not strong enough to shower herself, so I bought the shower hose and I began to shower her daily, dress her and do everything for her but I loved her so much and I didn't care what I had to do, she was my mom. There were days when she thought she was a burden to me and she would tell me, that I work to hard and that she was sorry she was not able to do things for herself and i would immediately tell her to stop talking like that. I would tell her, she was my mom, I loved her and wanted to look after her and that she wasn't a burden on me. That she took care of me when I was little and over the years and now it was my turn to take care of her. She told me a couple weeks before she passed away , you said, you really stood by your mom, when all the others went on their way. you stood by your mom. She said, I don't know what I would have done with out you. She said I don't know how I would have made it and she said god is really going to bless you and he will remember everything you did for your mother. She told me how special I was and now that she is gone , I remember everything she ever told me. It has been so hard, going through all her things and seeing all the cards and letters she gave me over the years. Everybody keeps telling me it will get better but I don't see that happening. I can't go one day without crying for missing her so much. I am grateful because she is not in any more pain but I am hurting so badly without her. I have a big sister but we have never been that close, she seems to want to spend more time with me now but nobody could ever feel that empty space inside my heart for my mother. I recently moved in with my brother and I want so desperately for me and my daughter to be able to get a place of our own. It costs so much to pay for first and last months rent and I have this old 1994 car that has been giving me so much trouble and I am barely scraping along , just trying to make it. I would appreciate any help I am given. If anyone can find it in their heart to help me and my daughter move out and get our own place or simply help us with the day to day necessities, it would be greatly appreciated.

RESPECTED READERS MY NAME IS MAHESH.S.P I AM 30 YEAR OLD GENTELMAN I AM LIVING IN THE NAME OF JESUS AND SPENDING MY WHOLE LIFE INCLUDING PAST LIFE , PRESENT LIFE ,FEATURE LIFE IN PRAYING JESUS . I WAS HAPPY WITH MY LIFE AND LIFESTYLE . BUT SUDDENLY UNFORTUNATLY DUE TO HYPERTENSION ( B.P ) MY BOTH KIDNEYS ARE FAILED MY DISEASE NAME IS CHRONIC KIDNEY DISEASE STAGE ; 5 SECONDARY TO REFLUX NEPHROPATHY HYPERTENSION ; GROSS VOLME OVERLOAD .PULMONARY EDEMA INITIATED ON HEMODIALYSIS DUE TO THIS A DROP OF URINE OUT PUT IS NOT COMMING FROM MY BODY DUE TO THIS MY BODY AND HEALTH CONDITION IS VERY BAD I CANNOT WORK , I CANNOT WALK , I CANNOT STAND FOR A HOUR OR SIT FOR A HOUR , AND I CANNOT SLEEP AT NIGHT TIME WELL AND DOCTER HAS ADVISED STRICTLY TO FALLOW FOOD DIET AND I SHOULD DRINK WATER LESS THAN HALF LITRE PER DAY SO IT IS VERY TOUGH TO LIVE . I AM TAKING WEEKLY 3 TIMES HEMODIALYSIS TREATMENT IN HOSPITAL THAT TO IN OUT STATION FROM 22-02-2009 AND ERALIER TO THAT FOR ONE YEAR I WAS IN MEDICAL TREATMENT AND MY FISTULA OPERATION WAS DONE ON THAT TIME , OUR S IS A MIDDLECLASS FAMILY I AM THE ONLY ONE SON FOR MY PARENTS SO WE HAVE SPEND LOT OF MONEY FOR MEDCINE , BLOODTEST , FISTULA OPERATION , HEMODIALYSIS TREATMENT , AND ETC . DOCTER HAS ADVISED TO KIDNEY TRANSPLATION DUE TO THAT MY HEMODIALYSIS TREATMENT WILL BE STOPED SO THAT I WILL BE HEALTHY SO THAT ICAN HAVE ALMOST 100 % NORMAL LIFE SO THAT I CAN WORK AND I CAN EARN I CAN LOOK AFTER ME AND FAMILY AND MOST IMPORTENT DUITY IS TO DO IS I CAN PRAY JESUS FOR LONG TIME I DONT WANT TO MARRY I WANT TO SPEND WHOLE MY LIFE IN THE NAME OF JESUS , TO THE JESUS , FOR THE JESUS BUT ONLY THING IS WE DONT HAVE MONEY FOR KIDNEY TRANSPLATION AND TILL TRANSPLATION I HAVE TO TAKE WEEKLY 3 TIMES HEMODIALYSIS TREATMENT SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE IN THE NAME OF JESUS I AM BEGGING ALL THE JESUS BELIVERS , JESUS FALLOWERS , JESUS RESPECTORS PLEASE DONATE AT LEAST A SMALL AMOUNT OF MONEY ALL SO THAT I CAN CUM UP FROM THIS BIG PROBLEM i can leave indipendent life PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU PLEASE SAVE MY LIFE & To over come from this big disease. BECAUSE operation cost AND MEDICATION is nearly 3.00.000 INDIAN RUPEE It is very difficult to arrange me please for the JESUS SAKE I am begging you & if the person or friend or any body or any charity OR ANY NGO S how can help me, you now please inform me on my E-MAIL -MAHESHSP30@GMAIL.COM My mobile no - 9964638566 my residence adress is MAHESH.S.P S\O S.Y.PANDURANGA RAO BANASHANKARI EXTSION BANAVARA ARASIKERE - 573103 TALUK HASSAN DISTRICT KARNATAKA STATE INDIA ( COUNTRY ) TO SEND MONEY my bank details are SYNDICATE BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER - 14022200075587 ISFC CODE - SYNB0001402 BANAVARA BRANCH ARASIKERE -573103 TALUK HASSAN DISTRICT KARNATAKA STATE INDIA COUNTRY THIS IS TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH PLEASE BELIVE IN ME OR JESUS PLEASE DONATE AT LEAST A SMALL AMOUNT OF MONEY ALL SO THAT ME AND JESUS WILL ALSO HAPPY IF JESUS IS HAPPY DEFNATLY HE WILL GIVE YOU GOOD HEALTH HAPPINESS , PROSPIRTY , MORE WEALTH , AND GLORY IN YOUR S LIFE AND YOURS FAMILY LIFE PLEASE DONT IGNORE THAT IT IS JOKE OR CHEETING BECAUSE IF YOU ARE IN MY CONDITION YOU WILL HAVE COME TO NOW THAT HOW TOUGH IS TO LIVE WITHOUT GOOD HEALTH AND WITHOUT HAVE ING MONEY TO LIVE IF YOU WONT SEND MONEY AFTER KNOWING THIS JESUS WILL DEFFANATLY FAILS YOUR KIDNEY , HEART FAIL , YOUR JOB WILL GO , YOUR FAMILY HAPPINESS WILL GO , YOUR BISSINESS WILL BE IN LOSS SO PLEASE TRUST ME AND SEND MONEY TO ME BECAUSE IF YOU TRUST ME JESUS WILL ALSO DEFFANATLY BILIVE YOU AND HE WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR LIFE AND WHAT YOU LIKE IN LIFE AND DIFFANATLY I WILL PRAY JESUS WHOLE MY LIFE FOR YOU PEOPLES TO GIVE GOOD HEALTH , MORE WEALTH , HAPPINESS , PROSPRITY AND GLORY IN LIFE AND SHOW MERCY AND FORGIVE ALL YOUR SIN THANKING YOU AND JESUS AND I DONT HAVE PAYPAL ACCOUNT PLEASE SORRY FOR THAT YOUR S RESPECTING MAHESH.S.P

RESPECTED READERS MY NAME IS MAHESH.S.P I AM 30 YEAR OLD GENTELMAN I AM LIVING IN THE NAME OF JESUS AND SPENDING MY WHOLE LIFE INCLUDING PAST LIFE , PRESENT LIFE ,FEATURE LIFE IN PRAYING JESUS . I WAS HAPPY WITH MY LIFE AND LIFESTYLE . BUT SUDDENLY UNFORTUNATLY DUE TO HYPERTENSION ( B.P ) MY BOTH KIDNEYS ARE FAILED MY DISEASE NAME IS CHRONIC KIDNEY DISEASE STAGE ; 5 SECONDARY TO REFLUX NEPHROPATHY HYPERTENSION ; GROSS VOLME OVERLOAD .PULMONARY EDEMA INITIATED ON HEMODIALYSIS DUE TO THIS A DROP OF URINE OUT PUT IS NOT COMMING FROM MY BODY DUE TO THIS MY BODY AND HEALTH CONDITION IS VERY BAD I CANNOT WORK , I CANNOT WALK , I CANNOT STAND FOR A HOUR OR SIT FOR A HOUR , AND I CANNOT SLEEP AT NIGHT TIME WELL AND DOCTER HAS ADVISED STRICTLY TO FALLOW FOOD DIET AND I SHOULD DRINK WATER LESS THAN HALF LITRE PER DAY SO IT IS VERY TOUGH TO LIVE . I AM TAKING WEEKLY 3 TIMES HEMODIALYSIS TREATMENT IN HOSPITAL THAT TO IN OUT STATION FROM 22-02-2009 AND ERALIER TO THAT FOR ONE YEAR I WAS IN MEDICAL TREATMENT AND MY FISTULA OPERATION WAS DONE ON THAT TIME , OUR S IS A MIDDLECLASS FAMILY I AM THE ONLY ONE SON FOR MY PARENTS SO WE HAVE SPEND LOT OF MONEY FOR MEDCINE , BLOODTEST , FISTULA OPERATION , HEMODIALYSIS TREATMENT , AND ETC . DOCTER HAS ADVISED TO KIDNEY TRANSPLATION DUE TO THAT MY HEMODIALYSIS TREATMENT WILL BE STOPED SO THAT I WILL BE HEALTHY SO THAT ICAN HAVE ALMOST 100 % NORMAL LIFE SO THAT I CAN WORK AND I CAN EARN I CAN LOOK AFTER ME AND FAMILY AND MOST IMPORTENT DUITY IS TO DO IS I CAN PRAY JESUS FOR LONG TIME I DONT WANT TO MARRY I WANT TO SPEND WHOLE MY LIFE IN THE NAME OF JESUS , TO THE JESUS , FOR THE JESUS BUT ONLY THING IS WE DONT HAVE MONEY FOR KIDNEY TRANSPLATION AND TILL TRANSPLATION I HAVE TO TAKE WEEKLY 3 TIMES HEMODIALYSIS TREATMENT SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE IN THE NAME OF JESUS I AM BEGGING ALL THE JESUS BELIVERS , JESUS FALLOWERS , JESUS RESPECTORS PLEASE DONATE AT LEAST A SMALL AMOUNT OF MONEY ALL SO THAT I CAN CUM UP FROM THIS BIG PROBLEM i can leave indipendent life PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU PLEASE SAVE MY LIFE & To over come from this big disease. BECAUSE operation cost AND MEDICATION is nearly 3.00.000 INDIAN RUPEE It is very difficult to arrange me please for the JESUS SAKE I am begging you & if the person or friend or any body or any charity OR ANY NGO S how can help me, you now please inform me on my E-MAIL -MAHESHSP30@GMAIL.COM My mobile no - 9964638566 my residence adress is MAHESH.S.P S\O S.Y.PANDURANGA RAO BANASHANKARI EXTSION BANAVARA ARASIKERE - 573103 TALUK HASSAN DISTRICT KARNATAKA STATE INDIA ( COUNTRY ) TO SEND MONEY my bank details are SYNDICATE BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER - 14022200075587 ISFC CODE - SYNB0001402 BANAVARA BRANCH ARASIKERE -573103 TALUK HASSAN DISTRICT KARNATAKA STATE INDIA COUNTRY THIS IS TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH PLEASE BELIVE IN ME OR JESUS PLEASE DONATE AT LEAST A SMALL AMOUNT OF MONEY ALL SO THAT ME AND JESUS WILL ALSO HAPPY IF JESUS IS HAPPY DEFNATLY HE WILL GIVE YOU GOOD HEALTH HAPPINESS , PROSPIRTY , MORE WEALTH , AND GLORY IN YOUR S LIFE AND YOURS FAMILY LIFE PLEASE DONT IGNORE THAT IT IS JOKE OR CHEETING BECAUSE IF YOU ARE IN MY CONDITION YOU WILL HAVE COME TO NOW THAT HOW TOUGH IS TO LIVE WITHOUT GOOD HEALTH AND WITHOUT HAVE ING MONEY TO LIVE IF YOU WONT SEND MONEY AFTER KNOWING THIS JESUS WILL DEFFANATLY FAILS YOUR KIDNEY , HEART FAIL , YOUR JOB WILL GO , YOUR FAMILY HAPPINESS WILL GO , YOUR BISSINESS WILL BE IN LOSS SO PLEASE TRUST ME AND SEND MONEY TO ME BECAUSE IF YOU TRUST ME JESUS WILL ALSO DEFFANATLY BILIVE YOU AND HE WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR LIFE AND WHAT YOU LIKE IN LIFE AND DIFFANATLY I WILL PRAY JESUS WHOLE MY LIFE FOR YOU PEOPLES TO GIVE GOOD HEALTH , MORE WEALTH , HAPPINESS , PROSPRITY AND GLORY IN LIFE AND SHOW MERCY AND FORGIVE ALL YOUR SIN THANKING YOU AND JESUS AND I DONT HAVE PAYPAL ACCOUNT PLEASE SORRY FOR THAT YOUR S RESPECTING MAHESH.S.P