Severely Tags

Recently my husband and I gained custody of 3 severely abused children ages 6,7, & 10. Money was so tight before we recieved these angels, but now with supporting them we cant afford even utilities, we have shut off notices and a car thats about to blow its transmission. These children have suffered enough, all we want is to be able to provide happy ,lives for them. They need bedding, clothes and everything else you can imagine, thank you for your humanity, you can txt me at 801) 8575794, I do not have paypal

I currently work 2 different jobs, sometimes pulling over 60 hours a week. I work hard and do my best, but I never seem to be able get ahead. I am asking for help because I have loans that my deferment runs out on at the end of next month. I will have to start making payments towards those as well as my usual bills. On top of that, my car broke down last week. The rear frame has rusted so severely that it is no longer safe to drive and is beyond repair. I just need to be able to have a vehicle to get to work and enough money to make the payments on loans. Please help if you can.

Hi I am a mom of 3 children, 1 a special needs child. I work as a nurse assistant but it only covers about half of our needs. I work hard and do my best every day and try to keep a smile and a good attitude but sometimes your best just isn't good enough. My special needs baby is 8 years old and is speech impaired, deaf in one ear, severely asthmatic, and has ADHD. Medicaid pays for most of the meds and specialists but not all. I pay for some of his meds and specialists and then there's the gas to go to and from. All in all I'm spending about $800 per month that medicaid is refusing. I haven't been able to get an answer why as of yet. I've applied for social security for him but have been denied twice and now am awaiting a hearing which I am told could be anywhere between 18 and 21 months just to get a hearing date. I only make about $1500 per month so simple things like even a trip to the laundromat is a challenge. Apart from my son's problems I also have 2 baby girls aged 9 and 6 to take care of. Thanks be to God they are healthy. All of my family has passed away due to various forms of cancer so it's just my children and my husband and self. He is out of a job presently and has been seeking work since being laid off from his last job (about 7 months). I have applied for a pell grant and registered for LPN classes at the local community college to try to help myself but it will take about 15 months to finish school let alone get a job. I've managed to pay rent but am 2 months behind on the internet bill (used for school) am 5 months behind in car payments and am at risk of a repo any day. If I lose my car then how am I going to be able to go to work,school, take the kids to school, take the kids to the doctor,grocery shop, do laundry, or anything else? I currently do not have auto insurance because I can't afford it.(was cancelled for nonpayment 2 days ago.) I managed to pay my water and cell(about $100) to keep that going. I am almost a month behind on my electricity but have managed to keep it going by paying about half the bill per month. As of now, I have a balance of $150. I don't know what to do. If anyone would please help us I would be forever grateful and appreciative.

I have several outstanding medical bills which have not only seriously affected my credit but just make me feel badly, nervous & ashamed they aren't paid yet. One of the biggest is for $200 for a replacement motorized scooter I needed in 2009. My Medicare paid all except this amount & I have been unable to pay it at all. Shortly after this replacement scooter was ordered I was in a head-on collision that set me back medically so severely I am still recovering. My medical needs tripled as did my monthly costs. I have been physically disabled since early childhood & I am in my early 50s now. Because I am on disability, thus a limited income, I am always struggling to meet my bills & have exhausted all my former resources. I am trusting God daily for my needs, but I don't know at this point how to pay many unpaid, overdue bills with nothing in the bank.

Thank you for taking time to read my post. I never knew about this site & came across it by chance & I am taking the chance the lucky penny I found today is a sign help is on the way.

I am in domestic turmoil with my diagnosed severely narcissistic sociopath mother. I am trying to raise money to relocate with my children and pets and cut contact to my family. I went through my savings after I lost my job, trying to find another job and a place to stay. The situation is growing more tense weekly, and I know I need further professional counseling. We need to break away to start anew. Thank you all for any help towards our progress and goal to be able to finally leave.

All the financial means that would've let my best friend/spirit sister be matron of honor at my wedding have fallen thru, in true Murphy's Law fashion. This is one of MANY snafus all draining joy from my wedding, the worst being my dad passing away. I'd forgo all the gifts on my registry if it meant my best friend could fly here for my wedding! (Please click the headline above for the full story. THANK YOU!)

We've tried so hard to stay caught up with our mortgage and bills for the past 6 years in this economy. Now we have a young son, my wife has become unemployed, and I have been forced to reduce my hours at work. We've tried so hard to find employment for my wife, and better employment for myself. But the search is ongoing. We're now severely delinquent on our mortgage, and barely making ends meet with our other bills. If we could just get a little bit of help, just enough to keep us going until I my work is able to put me back to full time, we would be okay.

We've tried so hard to stay caught up with our mortgage and bills for the past 6 years in this economy. Now we have a young son, my wife has become unemployed, and I have been forced to reduce my hours at work. We've tried so hard to find employment for my wife, and better employment for myself. But the search is ongoing. We're now severely delinquent on our mortgage, and barely making ends meet with our other bills. If we could just get a little bit of help, just enough to keep us going until I my work is able to put me back to full time, we would be okay.

im not going to give u this big clique sob story and lie to you. the truth is.. i have made alot of mistakes and alot of bad desicions. yes my daughtets daddy died back in 2009 and i have been through complete and total hell with that but a while after that i grieved the wrong way. i fell into severe depression and met someone offline that had me fooled. he beat me severely left me for dead on many occasions.. and trust me i know that was on owb stupidity. me and my daughter lived in a womens battered shelter for a long while. but i am proud to say me and my kids are stable now i have an apartment. but i lost my job a while back and i have no car now soo yes we are struggling. i need ideas on working from home i have no comp but i do have a smartphone with net and unlimited calling. my dad is dying in my hometown i need a way to make atleast 1000 to move back and have a deposit on a house. email me with ideas jstattedangel@yahoo.com or lipglossandmetal@yahoo.com if u make a donation i dont have paypal would have to be mailed.... ty *nikky*

We are starting a fund to help Little Erin. She was diagnosed with Alobar Holoprosencephaly. It is a severe brain abnormality and studies have shown that only 3% of these little angels survive after birth. What happens is the brain doesn’t separate right and if Erin is one of the lucky ones that survives she would be severely handicapped and would need extensive medical care. If you can find it in your hearts to help this family in need it would be greatly appreciated and would not be forgotten. All donations go towards helping with medical expenses and if the unfortunate happens and she doesn’t survive donations will go towards helping the family with sending this Little Angel To Heaven. Thank you and God Bless.

We are starting a fund to help Little Erin. She was diagnosed with Alobar Holoprosencephaly. It is a severe brain abnormality and studies have shown that only 3% of these little angels survive after birth. What happens is the brain doesn’t separate right and if Erin is one of the lucky ones that survives she would be severely handicapped and would need extensive medical care. If you can find it in your hearts to help this family in need it would be greatly appreciated and would not be forgotten. All donations go towards helping with medical expenses and if the unfortunate happens and she doesn’t survive donations will go towards helping the family with sending this Little Angel To Heaven. Thank you and God Bless.

Money Help
First let me begin by stating that if I were not in desperate need of help I would not go to such lengths to seek it out. As of right now I am currently a senior in college majoring in English. Last year, after taking prescribed antibiotics I did not need, I was diagnosed with a severe case of C.diff. At first, I did not recognize the symptoms as anything worth seeking medical attention for so I went on with life as a waitress awaiting the fall semester to begin. But my illness got the best of me and on the first day of class I found myself severely sick and was forced to run out of class to make it to the restroom. I sat in the stall and cried trying to understand why I was so sick for so long; I knew then that something was wrong. My mother insisted on taking me to the ER, once admitted they drew my blood and determined that I was indeed severely sick. My white blood cell count was over 40,000. They took x-rays, MRIs and Cat scans to determine the severity of my illness. While running the test they discovered a tumor on my liver, luckily it is begnine but I am suppose to have it checked every six months to ensure it won't become cancerous. Of course, this is not possible for me since I do not have insurance and as of right now I am tremendously in debt. My illness forced me to seek the help of a GI, unfortunately, they are ridiculously pricey and my bills have skyrocketed. I begged family and friends for financial assistance just to pay the minimum fee in order to be seen, but I have exhausted they kindness. My family has been great; they have helped me as much as they could even while they themselves do not have much. I was forced to quit my job because I was sick for well over six months. They too were kind enough to let me work when I could but it became too much trying to juggle school and work while sick. On top of my acquired medical bills I also am $40,000.00 in student debt. I am frightened by the amount of debt I have and am worried I will not land a job post-graduation soon enough to begin paying on them. I am proud of myself for sticking through school all while being sick. I am not bitter, the illness taught me many lessons that I will take with me forever. Any help would be greatly appreciated and I hope to someday pay all the kindness forward. Thank you for reading.
Blessing,
Mary

Hi,

(Note: You may see this same post on beggingmoney.com)

My name is Eliabe. I am an 18-year-old guy from Brazil and I need your donation because I need to move away but I can't afford it.
Let me tell you why.

I grew up being abused by my dad -- emotionally and sexually. I did not realize what was happening until recently. I still have to deal with the consequences. I became social phobic, anxious and depressed. I am still afraid, disgusted of and uncomfortable with touch and closeness, yet I am dying for it. An African therapist agreed to help me for free, so I am getting better but only very recently am I making progress.

Three, almost four, years ago (2008), my family rejected me over religious issues. I wanted to join this Sabbatarian Christian religious association (this particular sect is a minority in Brazil and honestly everywhere else but they're more present in the US and England) and my family rejected me and reproached me so severely that it radically changed my personality. They wanted to throw me away. I was only 15. I had nowhere to go. I was deeply shocked and shaken on the inside. I never knew I could feel so hurt! I had never expected such sudden rejection from them. My mom said I was a disappointment to her and that I would not stay under the same ceiling as hers if I wanted to keep my faith. My siblings made fun of me and my new beliefs. My father demonized me and said he'd take me to their religious authorities to “straighten me out.” They accused me of bringing a curse into our lives and treated me as a shame to the family ("What will others think?" they wondered). My relatives (uncles, aunts, cousins -- I have a big family) were all against me too. I did not tell my friends because they belonged to the same religion as my parents. I started isolating from everybody. I became very deeply depressed. I would sleep just not to have to be awake and suffering.

It was really overwhelming to me. I had nowhere to go, no one to turn to. The congregation was out of town. So I decided to give up on joining that group. However, I did not stop believing in them but I had to pretend to be in my parents' religion on the outside.

But then my life became a nightmare. I had bad dreams at night. I became paranoid. Every time I was outside, I would walk around the house many times before taking the courage to go in. My heart would pound every time the phone or doorbell rang or someone called my name or asked about my religion. I would feel sick and go pale every time someone initiated a conversation about religion with me. I was traumatized. I am only getting better now. I fainted many times as I got weak because my mom refused to cook clean kosher dishes for me. I can’t even begin to describe all the sacrifices and pains I had to go through not to lose my identity. I can’t, for example, go out on a date or have a serious friendship because I am hiding the most important part of myself. Try to have a relationship where you do things you can’t explain the other party. Do you think it can ever work? My friendships are all shallow because of that.

I am a recent high school graduate. I took a basic course on administrative services and telemarketing last year, paid by the government as part of a program in Brazil called “Jovem Aprendiz” (“Young Apprentice” in English). As part of that course, I am working part-time, supposedly to acquire experience in the field, though I actually work as a warehousing assistant in the company (completely unrelated to administrative services). As I only work part-time (4 hours a day), I only receive HALF the minimum wage, which means I earn about $2 per hour. Yes, I could save that money to achieve my goals. It would take over two years but it would be possible. But I can't at the moment because I have to support my parents and siblings. My brother also works and my dad has recently found a job after three years of unemployment but I still have to give them a significant part of my salary or else we will starve. Also, even if I could, I’d still be desperate because I have been suffering for almost FOUR YEARS!

So I want to move away because I want to be free to convert and live my life, have friends, a girlfriend and a normal life. I got a passport and contacts in the United States. They can help me once I am there but they can’t buy my plane tickets as they cost over $800! There are also additional costs as I need a visa. I am currently looking for a job there. There have been people who want to hire me but they stopped contacting me after learning of the costs they would have to pay.
So please help me. It is the ONLY way for me to be happy again! It doesn’t matter how much you donate. It will make a HUGE difference.

Thank you very much. God bless you!

Click below to donate:

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=VQLJXYWTYVRW6

Hi my name is Devin and I am 21 years old. About a month ago I got my first apartment under a one year lease. I have been working a full time job for the past two years of which i was laid off from a week ago. I have no living family members and no way to get a loan. I am currently waiting on a tax refund check and for my unemployment benefits to go through. I need $275.00 to make it through the month. It is severely needed as I have nowhere else I can stay and it is another cold Colorado winter. For anyone that helps me with this rough situation I can donate to them as well (at interest) when my taxes and unemployment comes in. Thank you for your time I really appreciate it. Have a blessed day and remember Jesus loves all of us.

I am a 23 year old student struggling to make ends meet and get through school. I am in my 4th out of 6 years into a psychology major, I am not working, but looking for work. My current issues getting work have been complicated in part to me being legally deaf, and being in school as well, in the past I did some work as a secretary, but they also needed help answering the phones as well. So I couldn't continue working there for that reason. I am a foster child, so I don't have family, and being a student, most of my friends are broke like I am.

I am in need of a car as the area where I am living is very far from any stores, which is making it difficult to get to school, to buy food, or get to the library for studies, etc. Once I can afford a decent vehicle I will dedicate my time to finding work and getting myself out of the current hole I am in. I now have a bit of cash saved up and am hoping to find something that I don't have to pedal soon, so any help that can be given would be severely appreciated and go a long way to helping me finish school.

I need help to make the co-payments so I can get my teeth fixed. Please help me pay for much needed dental work which is severely affecting my health. Thank you for taking the time to read my request. This is very awkward but necessary since I'm out of options. I write this in faith that GOD will fill your heart with compassion. I have been entrusted to care for my 4 beautiful grandchildren. The only way I can fulfill this blessed opportunity is by regaining my self-esteem again.
Unfortunately I'm a victim of negligence and greed. After years of faulty dental work I’m left with no molars it’s very hard eat. I’m not looking for pity just a little bit of help. I just want to get my life back and be happy again.
I've lost all confidence and my joy. I suffer from depression because I cannot smile anymore. I wear a frown on my face something I thought I would never do. I was a happy person with a lust for life. But now I wear a frown on my face something I thought I would never do.
I’m paying the price for years of abuse. I’ve begged my husband (of 29 years) for help me but he refuse. I’ve become a recluse locked away in my bedroom. I need to (want to) go back to work. I want to live again. I just can’t do it on my own, so here I am.
I’m in need of financial assistance to pay for my dental work. I have insurance but I'm unable to make the co-payments. I’ve been looking for work in customer service since it’s hard to smile I’m left with rejection. My health is deteriorating. My teeth are rotting away. I’m left depressed and unhappy.
I pray GOD will hear me and answer my prayers today. I just want to laugh and smile again and be able to share my joy with family and friends. Your generous donation (small or large) will be greatly appreciated. May GOD's face shine on you. May you be blessed in JESUS now and forever, Amen. Aloha from PA

Hello, my name is Jay and I am 41 and take care of my disabled sister as well as go to school to hopefully become a youth pastor. I am asking for donations for my sister who is disabled and needs to be moved to a place where she can be away from the stress of her current situation with her illness .. I am her care giver for the last 5 years and I have been out of work for sometime now going back to school .I was able to supplement our income because I was on unemployment but that has since ran out I am currently out of work and recently had the only car we own a 20 year old ford tempo die and it was our only means of transportation and I used that transportation for all of my sisters needs. Ya see I live with my sister and I do all of her shopping and running around for her. I also make sure she makes it to her doctors appointments on time which she goes quite frequent. She has been disabled for 12 years from an on the job accident and I have been taking care of her for 5 of those years. My mother was helping before that until she passed away suddenly in 07'. we are currently in dire financial need right now and I am trying to raise enough money to get a new vehicle and get caught up on some way overdue bills and move us back home to our hometown in Lake Geneva WI because the physicians here in Iowa can not seem to get a handle on why her health has progressively gotten worse. she has been in and out of the hospital In the past 12 years and she has also other ailments to deal with she had cancer 2 years ago from a tumor in her neck which they removed and they think it was localized so it did not spread which is good news. She has constant leg swelling,incontinence which at her age is demoralizing in itself ,blood disorder,lost her teeth because of the countless medications she has been on,lost a lot of her hair, she had gastric by-pass because the doctors thought that would help her back because she was a very big girl but no so ..nothing changed but made things worse .she can not walk at all really she is severely limited because of the 3 herniated discs in her lower back and right now she has something wrong with her stomach that they think may have to do with her gastric by-pass surgery she had a few years ago but they cannot figure out what.She has severe nerve damage in her lower back which they think maybe the cause of her leg swelling and incontinence. The worst is she is only 41 and has not had a real chance to live..she spends a lot of her disability check on her incontinence and medical supplies because medicare will only allow her so much a month and medications her plan does not cover. I love my sister so much and want to make her as comfortable as I can but with all the negative things happening to her she is starting to have doubts about her faith..and I can't have that. God is the one person I know she loves besides me because we only have eachother...please..We need to raise at least that amount to pay for past due bills and a reliable vehicle so I can bring her back home where we grew up and where I know that is the one place that makes her happy ..I need to take this worry off of her. Right now she has such severe anxiety over all of this medical and financial issues that she has to take 2 different kinds of medicine to combat this anxiety. So not only will that money help her, it will help us to find a vehicle that I can get her to her doctors appointments as well as help her in other means and hopefully to work when I find a job.I am asking anyone that will listen to please..please help my sister ..her health is declining so fast almost everyday and it is something new that is going wrong and I seriously do not know how much more she can bear being stuck in the place she is with no hope of ever having any type of life..i love my sister ..I can not lose my best friend. ..Please help me to show her that there are good people out there who want to help. I know and have faith that there are .Thank you to all who read this story God Bless.

Hi, I hate to beg but am desperate. I live in the U.K am a single parent with disabilities panic attacks, agorophobia, anxiety and a degenerative back condition.
My son aged 14 severely disabled Downs Syndrome, Autisim, Challenging Behaviours, Type 1 Diabetes, Wheelchair user.
Our car was seized by Baliffs for 2 parking tickets worth £25. They now want £1000 to return the car. I am housebound and desperate now. They are selling the car at auction next week.Any help would be gratefully received. Thanks
king2511@live.co.uk

I’ve never asked for any kind of help before, and certainly not from people that I have never met! But my situation has become so desperate that I really do need help.
I have, for the last 15 years, struggled to make ends meet, following periods of ill-health, bad luck and catastrophic decision making. My circumstances are now very desperate indeed, and have even considered suicide.
In 1997 I suffered from a period of depression, that became so severe that I was forced to give up my job, and borrowed money to cover my mortgage and keep my house. Unfortunately the repayments on this ever increasing debt snowballed, and I found myself unable to meet my mortgage and household bills. I had ploughed my life savings into the home, and lost it all.
In 2006 I was approached by a friend, who was concerned for my financial circumstances, and suggested that we buy an old property, renovate it and sell it for a profit. I was desperate to make some money, and trusted my friend. I would refer you to full details of this in my Beg, as the project ended in complete failure having been ripped off by an unscrupulous builder. Work that should have taken 3 months took in excess of 9, and I ended up carrying out all the work myself. I regularly worked at the house from the early hours until well past midnight. The long hours left me exhausted, and in October 2008 I had a breakdown. I simply couldn’t carry on, and collapsed at work. My employer at the time was an unforgiving and vindictive man, and he said that I would be suspended if my work didn’t improve. I was afraid that I would lose my job, and under considerable psychological pressure from my employer I was forced to resign.
Following the failed business venture, which had plunged me into further debt, my breakdown and subsequent loss of my job, I simply couldn’t cope and pushed me into a long period of depression that became so severe that I planned to take my life. At the time I was so ill that I was unable to hold down a job, and this simply added to my woes - whilst out of work and undergoing intensive counselling I borrowed further. By the end of 2009 I was £15,000 ($23,250) in debt. I desperately want to rebuild my life now, but it is difficult to do so when I am saddled with a debt that is crippling me. Between 2009 and December 2010 my debt increased - there is no answer to it, and I will never ever me able to clear the £18,000 ($27,900) that I now owe. It is a debt that cripples me and prevents me from having a normal, happy life. I am 50 in February 2012, but have no future. I am tired of being worried, stressed, unable to sleep, and being depressed. Please, please help me start my life all over again. Please read my full story, and contact me if you have any questions. Thank you.

Hello. I am newly (8 weeks ago) single mother of 2 boys (ages 3, 6) and I have recently left my abusive husband. I remained in the relationship for 7 years and am have just now gotten the courage and willpower to leave. The relationship and the last beating before I left (by far the worst) left me 75 percent unable to see in my right eye.This has resulted in us being homeless with no financial help or backing.
I no longer qualify for TANF (WELFARE) and all I get is food stamps once a month. We are currently residing in a homeless shelter in downtown St. Louis where we have to leave every morning at 6 am (rain, snow, or shine). I go to the library with my children daily and we read together just to get out of the cold. I am happy to be free from years of abuse, but at the same time I am severely depressed because of my living and financial situation.
My wish is to get funds for one month at a studio extended stay hotel, funds for interview clothes (I have gotten several interviews and then when I go, they HR reps are immediately turned off by my unkempt, worn and inappropriate so called interview attire), funds for a bus pass to get to more interviews (I walk for now), and funds for minor toiletries. I know that with my resume and decent interview attire that I can get a decent full time job within one month's time.
It would help so much toward my short term goal, which is to attain full time stable employment and provide a stable and healthy living situation for my two boys. Thanks so much in advance and I appreciate all help and donations, no matter how big or small. Feel free to send all donations to paypal account name charlyfran2008@hotmail.com

I'm a 31 year old male, oh and my 4 year old kitty. Life has not been easy but I always did my best to keep moving forward. From dealing with childhood abuse to climbing the corporate/social latter and falling.. I've always tried to "handle it" and do everything the right way, all on my own and helping everyone I could in anyway I could along the way.

I've worked very hard and instead of being out there in the world stealing or making babies I can't afford I got a good job, car, and bought my first home at age 20. I'm the kinda friend you know has his own issues and he don't wanna bum you out with them but you can say "Hey James, I can't make my rent, can I borrow this.." or "James my house burned down can I come live wit you?" or "my boyfriend is about to be deported can you buy his old car so we can afford the lawyers?" and my answers are as follows; How much you need?, how long Can you stay + here's $2000 come buy a co-op in my building I'll put in a good word for you, and will it pass inspection?? All this before I was even 25 and these people were older than me! Grown men coming up to my desk at work tell me "I'm hungry" or even just a simple "Feed me" while perched atop my cubicle like a starving pigeon and we'd laugh and joke and sure enough I would buy or bring in something good to eat. I'm the kind of friend that for your birthday from me your most likely to get something we saw in a store window months ago, just to surprise you and make you happy cause it was meaningful to you. Also very kind to those I don't know who seem to be in need, even when we didn't speak the same language, they were drunk and I didn't know if I was walking into trouble.

Somewhere between then and now my life has turned completely upside down. The weight of what I had previously survived (praise God) and what I am now going through don't balance anymore. I lost that home and car and job due to a disability and even though by now you must think me a generally upbeat, diligent, resourceful, praise his name in wrong or right soul I'm lost and I need to rebuild. My entire support system was slowly picked off by my family and close friends life circumstances. I hate telling people how it all happened because to me it sounds like I'm saying I'm cursed and horrible things just keep happening to me. I accept my responsibility for my end and do self checks constantly. Even when thrown into situations far beyond my years, or no one should expect and try to deal with careful thought, civility and grace.

The one last thing I had to hold on to, that was keeping me strong and helping me grow as a person was the love I thought I had but apparently I did not. Lying, fear, cheating, HIV, emotional abuse, sneakiness, poverty, hurt, uncertainty, finding out the person who was the love of your life gave him HIV on purpose but still didn't want him!, cancer and treatments, severely persistent and mental illnesses, self-centeredness, the loss of friends and family acting shady and all that was just my relationship with my EX! So of course me being me for the most part stowed my problems.. "as usual" even if it left me in a bad spot financially, emotionally or physically and I was there! Loving and Supportive even after I was almost attacked. It's a fine line between being a damn fool and doing the right thing, I know but now I'm all on my own. I'm on medicare but the co-pays and deductible are killing me, I can't stay where I am, I'm fat, unhappy and depressed but still thanking God for all the blessing, some time's I feel like asking for more would be an exercise in futility But I'm here. I recently learned that it's ok for me to ask for help. What I'm begging for is to please, please, say a prayer for one another and me! be good to one another and if you could please help me reach my $2,000 goal to a new begining of self sufficiency so I can stop being a broken person and go back to helping others, me and kitty would be forever in your debt and pray for you as well. Amen

hi
Please before you judge me hear me out...

I am not sick I don't have starving kids but I do find I never have any money I work hard but i never seams to be quite enough, I pay my bills but that is about it..

I am turning 30 this year and after a very stressful past 18 months where I have severely struggled with my finances, for once I just want to let my hair down and have some fun with my friends, the trouble is I don’t even have the money for food at the end of each month et alone a party, where I have to organise a venue, DJ food etc.

I don’t exactly want dinner at the ritz.. just a function room in a pub!!! please please help me


thank you for at least reading this

I've decided to try and get help through donations http://www.giveforward.com/unbreakmyheart and funding http://unbreakmyheart2011.blogspot.com/from outside sources since every doctor I've seen in 2 years agree that I need the leads to my ICD (defibrillator) replaced; but shuffle me back to the original doctor and wash their hands of me.

I'm raising funds for ICD replacement surgery, to go see a HOCM specialist (Dr. Craig Asher) at Cleveland Clinic in S. Florida and to have advanced testing through Vanderbilt Autonomic Center in Tennessee.

I don't want to admit I need help; I've always been a strong, independent person who took care of everything and everyone. In August 2009, my whole world changed. After my procedure, I applied for disability and was turned down twice and had to hire an attorney. I went from being "super" mom, wife & friend and care taker of an Autistic son to being the one who had to be taken care of.

So how did I get to the point I have to ask others for help? Shortly before Father's Day 2009, I fell and broke my foot. When it didn't heal, I went to my primary with a broken foot and came out with a broken heart. After the shock wore off from the doctor telling me that I was going to die if I didn't have valve surgery; I started asking questions.

I didn't quite believe him and thought he was over reacting when he told me I was going to die because I walked and ran 3-5 times weekly and even did strenuous yard work. I felt fine and have 4 children aged 9-26 and kept up with them and stayed very active in things they did; but I was a ticking time bomb just waiting for the right time for my heart to stop.

He sent me to several specialists who said I had nothing really wrong, just some mild valve problems associated with aging; which was a huge relief. Everything seemed normal except my EKG's; they showed I had a huge amount of PVC's (premature ventricular contractions) roughly 50,000 “extra” heartbeats daily.

My heart didn't really beat fully; it only quivered like a bowl of jello day in day out. The problem with it beating like this is, the heart becomes very ineffective at pumping and your cardiac output drops and heart muscle damage can occur.

The cardiologist and electrophysiologist I saw did extensive testing and recommended more testing in the hospital. I went in for a sleep study, Tilt table test and EP Study with Ablation. The sleep study revealed I had moderately severe sleep apnea and my oxygen goes from 99% down to 73% at night making it very dangerous for me when I sleep.

The tilt table test was the first inkling that something dangerous was going on inside. I fainted and had no palpable pulse; which is a very rare thing to happen. I was diagnosed with Dysautonomia - Neurocardiogenic Syncope and Orthostatic Intolerance.
I then had an ablation to burn the extra pathways in my heart and get rid of the pvc's I was living with daily. I was told this would be a relatively easy process and given a 95% success rate to get rid of the extra beats completely but it never crossed my mind that anything would happen.

What preliminary tests failed to show, is the pattern and origin of my arrhythmias were in a very dangerous spot to ablate - the RV Apex – in the bottom thin underside of the heart.

During the EP Study, I went into cardiac arrest and my heart stopped completely with no rhythm they could shock (Asystole), some how it started again for a few minutes but then stopped again. They were able to shock me back to normal sinus rhythm and luckily, the third time it stopped; it restarted on it's own so I didn't have to be shocked again.

I was diagnosed with Polymorphic Ventricular Tachycardia; a very dangerous, life threatening arrhythmia. I stayed in the hospital for 4 days trying to find a cause and to be prepped for an ICD (implantable cardiac defibrillator).

It took a cardiac catherization to finally find the problem and to show I had HOCM (obstructive Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy) and internal high pressures in my valves.

My regular EP had to go out of town after the first procedure, so his partner had to do the implant; he wasn't as skilled as my regular dr and botched the lead implants.

When they checked the leads the next day before releasing me, they found a problem with the lead placement but the dr said it was "ok" and sent me home. Since then, I've had nothing but problems with the unit and been told by several other EP's I need to have the leads replaced and the ICD could be causing part of my problems.

Doctors think my other problems are related to HOCM (obstructive hypertrophic cardiomyopathy) and Autonomic nervous system failure and when I faint, my heart stops briefly causing damage each time this happens.

After the procedure, my body started failing from the damage it sustained the 4 times my heart stopped. My original cardiologist told me I would be in a wheel chair and totally dependent on others for everything by the time I'm 50; which is daunting because in March I'll be 45 and I can't deny the facts - my body is failing.

I was put on 10,000g sodium daily, water/fluid loading, Midodrine (insurance won't cover it $312 - 30 day supply), Propanolol, Pantoprazole, pain meds, suppression hose and binders as well as having to stay supine the majority of the day - which caused my heart failure to worsen and my EF (ejection fraction) to go down.

Nothing the doctor's have tried has helped, I still faint and my heart stops on a daily basis and I never know from one day to the next if something is going to trigger fluid build up and I have an acute attack.

In June 2011 I fainted falling into the side of my tiled tub, lacerating the side of my head in the process, severely sprained my neck and suffered a concussion. After that episode, I became a bit more cautious with every move I make because the dr found declining neurological functioning and mild brain damage; he said any more falls could lead to permanent major brain damage.

With so many previous medical bills and co-pays, I can't afford the 20% co-insurance to have my ICD replaced and Mayo Clinic wants a $5,000 deposit up front even with insurance. My ICD alone is $125,000, leads another $30,000 and then there's the doctor and hospital fees; which I won't know the cost until the procedure is done.

Each heart rhythm specialist and cardiologist I see tell me there is nothing more they can do after going over my history and treatments; I have a long hard fight to go and I have to just be thankful each day I'm alive. Some days I'm really glad I made it through, other days when the problems and pain take over; I wish the dr's had let me die.

I developed PTSD after the procedure, panic disorder and extreme agoraphobia. I went into such a deep depression over my health issues, I was afraid I would never see the lighter side of things again. I finally went to see a psychologist who prescribed Lamictal and diagnosed me with Bi-Polar disorder which has helped greatly but I still struggle on a daily basis.

One day we were just the “normal” every day family and the toughest thing we had to deal with is a child with Autism. Then; our whole lives changed in an instant we were dealing with mounting medical bills, expensive prescriptions, tests, appointments, loss of income and dealing with the possibility of death on a daily basis.

You just never know what the day may bring, so keep those you love close to you and never take one second for granted.
From the bottom of my heart thank you - even if it's support to say hey; I'm here if you need to talk or I know how you're feeling.

I've decided to try and get help through donations http://www.giveforward.com/unbreakmyheart and funding http://unbreakmyheart2011.blogspot.com/from outside sources since every doctor I've seen in 2 years agree that I need the leads to my ICD (defibrillator) replaced; but shuffle me back to the original doctor and wash their hands of me.

I'm raising funds for ICD replacement surgery, to go see a HOCM specialist (Dr. Craig Asher) at Cleveland Clinic in S. Florida and to have advanced testing through Vanderbilt Autonomic Center in Tennessee.

I don't want to admit I need help; I've always been a strong, independent person who took care of everything and everyone. In August 2009, my whole world changed. After my procedure, I applied for disability and was turned down twice and had to hire an attorney. I went from being "super" mom, wife & friend and care taker of an Autistic son to being the one who had to be taken care of.

So how did I get to the point I have to ask others for help? Shortly before Father's Day 2009, I fell and broke my foot. When it didn't heal, I went to my primary with a broken foot and came out with a broken heart. After the shock wore off from the doctor telling me that I was going to die if I didn't have valve surgery; I started asking questions.

I didn't quite believe him and thought he was over reacting when he told me I was going to die because I walked and ran 3-5 times weekly and even did strenuous yard work. I felt fine and have 4 children aged 9-26 and kept up with them and stayed very active in things they did; but I was a ticking time bomb just waiting for the right time for my heart to stop.

He sent me to several specialists who said I had nothing really wrong, just some mild valve problems associated with aging; which was a huge relief. Everything seemed normal except my EKG's; they showed I had a huge amount of PVC's (premature ventricular contractions) roughly 50,000 “extra” heartbeats daily.

My heart didn't really beat fully; it only quivered like a bowl of jello day in day out. The problem with it beating like this is, the heart becomes very ineffective at pumping and your cardiac output drops and heart muscle damage can occur.

The cardiologist and electrophysiologist I saw did extensive testing and recommended more testing in the hospital. I went in for a sleep study, Tilt table test and EP Study with Ablation. The sleep study revealed I had moderately severe sleep apnea and my oxygen goes from 99% down to 73% at night making it very dangerous for me when I sleep.

The tilt table test was the first inkling that something dangerous was going on inside. I fainted and had no palpable pulse; which is a very rare thing to happen. I was diagnosed with Dysautonomia - Neurocardiogenic Syncope and Orthostatic Intolerance.
I then had an ablation to burn the extra pathways in my heart and get rid of the pvc's I was living with daily. I was told this would be a relatively easy process and given a 95% success rate to get rid of the extra beats completely but it never crossed my mind that anything would happen.

What preliminary tests failed to show, is the pattern and origin of my arrhythmias were in a very dangerous spot to ablate - the RV Apex – in the bottom thin underside of the heart.

During the EP Study, I went into cardiac arrest and my heart stopped completely with no rhythm they could shock (Asystole), some how it started again for a few minutes but then stopped again. They were able to shock me back to normal sinus rhythm and luckily, the third time it stopped; it restarted on it's own so I didn't have to be shocked again.

I was diagnosed with Polymorphic Ventricular Tachycardia; a very dangerous, life threatening arrhythmia. I stayed in the hospital for 4 days trying to find a cause and to be prepped for an ICD (implantable cardiac defibrillator).

It took a cardiac catherization to finally find the problem and to show I had HOCM (obstructive Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy) and internal high pressures in my valves.

My regular EP had to go out of town after the first procedure, so his partner had to do the implant; he wasn't as skilled as my regular dr and botched the lead implants.

When they checked the leads the next day before releasing me, they found a problem with the lead placement but the dr said it was "ok" and sent me home. Since then, I've had nothing but problems with the unit and been told by several other EP's I need to have the leads replaced and the ICD could be causing part of my problems.

Doctors think my other problems are related to HOCM (obstructive hypertrophic cardiomyopathy) and Autonomic nervous system failure and when I faint, my heart stops briefly causing damage each time this happens.

After the procedure, my body started failing from the damage it sustained the 4 times my heart stopped. My original cardiologist told me I would be in a wheel chair and totally dependent on others for everything by the time I'm 50; which is daunting because in March I'll be 45 and I can't deny the facts - my body is failing.

I was put on 10,000g sodium daily, water/fluid loading, Midodrine (insurance won't cover it $312 - 30 day supply), Propanolol, Pantoprazole, pain meds, suppression hose and binders as well as having to stay supine the majority of the day - which caused my heart failure to worsen and my EF (ejection fraction) to go down.

Nothing the doctor's have tried has helped, I still faint and my heart stops on a daily basis and I never know from one day to the next if something is going to trigger fluid build up and I have an acute attack.

In June 2011 I fainted falling into the side of my tiled tub, lacerating the side of my head in the process, severely sprained my neck and suffered a concussion. After that episode, I became a bit more cautious with every move I make because the dr found declining neurological functioning and mild brain damage; he said any more falls could lead to permanent major brain damage.

With so many previous medical bills and co-pays, I can't afford the 20% co-insurance to have my ICD replaced and Mayo Clinic wants a $5,000 deposit up front even with insurance. My ICD alone is $125,000, leads another $30,000 and then there's the doctor and hospital fees; which I won't know the cost until the procedure is done.

Each heart rhythm specialist and cardiologist I see tell me there is nothing more they can do after going over my history and treatments; I have a long hard fight to go and I have to just be thankful each day I'm alive. Some days I'm really glad I made it through, other days when the problems and pain take over; I wish the dr's had let me die.

I developed PTSD after the procedure, panic disorder and extreme agoraphobia. I went into such a deep depression over my health issues, I was afraid I would never see the lighter side of things again. I finally went to see a psychologist who prescribed Lamictal and diagnosed me with Bi-Polar disorder which has helped greatly but I still struggle on a daily basis.

One day we were just the “normal” every day family and the toughest thing we had to deal with is a child with Autism. Then; our whole lives changed in an instant we were dealing with mounting medical bills, expensive prescriptions, tests, appointments, loss of income and dealing with the possibility of death on a daily basis.

You just never know what the day may bring, so keep those you love close to you and never take one second for granted.

From the bottom of my heart thank you - even if it's support to say hey; I'm here if you need to talk or I know how you're feeling.

I am the father of newborn twins who works as a 911 dispatcher. My wife is now a stay at home mom, who worked with severely handicapped children. Due to a series of unfortunate circumstances, we find ourselves in a home that is underwater with the mortgage, and being offered as a short sale. We have resigned ourselves to the fact that we can no longer stay in our home, and will have to move on. My Christmas wish would be for someone to help me with the 35k that built up on my credit card while I tried to keep up with the mortgage. As the sole earner in the family, i will never be able to pay it off. Thank you and Merry Christmas everyone!