Ptsd Tags

VICTIM OF PREDATORY LENDING NEED NEW LOAN
SAVE ME AND MY CORGI'S PLEASE!!!

I am a single mother of four. I have been diagnosed with Ptsd and depression. My kids dad is on felony status with childsupport, yet they do nothing. I have been trying to look for work but I have walked everywhere around me. I am facing eviction because I owe 1500 for rent. I have no way to pay it and no help from anyone and no where to go. I also need 80 dollars for car insurance and 60 dollars for my car tag. I would really appreciate any help. Thank you and God Bless.

Because I believe in the power of prayer & the kindness of my fellow man, I've decided to swallow my pride & ask for help. This is not an action I am at all familiar with but am grasping at every straw to attempt to keep a roof over my family's head. We live in a modest house that we've called home for the past 20+ years.

I am a single mother who's been truly blessed with 4, beautiful, healthy children; 3 biological & a foster son that joined our family when he was 12…..he is now 23. My kids are the reason I continue to battle through what has been the most challenging, darkest phase of my 50 years on this Earth.

In the summer of 2011, life, as my family knew it, was forever changed. My son got off the school bus & proceeded to enter a crime scene upon opening the front door of the house we call home. It was immediately clear that we were victims of a daytime home invasion and robbery. A trail of splinters led straight to my bedroom door, which had been demolished in the process of gaining entrance & access to my personal belongings. Robbers took my box of trash bags & proceeded to fill them with anything that could be sold or traded. I came home to find that they had stolen everything of value that I had worked for in my 50 years of existence & everything of value that my kids cherished as well.

It didn't happen often, but on the occasion that I had a few extra dollars to spend on myself, I found pleasure in buying nice jewelry. Through the years, I had managed to accumulate a nice collection. Also, as a child, my father & I shared an interest in coin collecting. I had managed to hold on to several interesting coins my dad & I found. Weekly, he also, gave me & my brothers our allowance of a fifty cent piece each. I had somehow managed to hold on to many of these as well. I stored my coin collection in the bottom portion of my large armoire. This area is what my family referred to as "the safe." Anything of value, particularly sentimental, was given to me to be protected in the safe. A couple good examples are my, then, 10 year old son's game ball for hitting the Championship game winning grand slam home run & my daughter's horse riding medals, show jewelry & accessories, as well as a silver handled knife & sheath…….the only personal possession my foster son owned from his childhood. I carry a tremendous amount of guilt for not doing a better job of safe guarding my family's precious & dear possessions.

In addition to the lingering guilt, the robbery also resulted in life altering psychological effects to me & my family. I continue to wonder if & when I will ever fully recover & be the secure, self confident person I was before the robbery. Immediately following the break-in, I was consumed by finding out who was responsible & ways of obtaining this information…..I could think of nothing else. After several weeks of frantic guessing & running wild goose chases, I started to realize that regaining possession of my property was less likely as each day went by. I could feel myself falling into a dark, lonely place with deep despair…..& unfortunately, I was content to be there. For the next several months, I could not work, did not eat or sleep & rarely came out of my bedroom. There was a film in my head that ran & reran the events leading up to & immediately following the robbery…..filled with the "I should've"s, "I could've"s and "what ifs." I am plagued with distrust & no longer find interest in much of anything. I was robbed of far more than just pieces of property…..they stole my trust in mankind, my desire to thrive, my faith in the world & my sanity.

I have worked as a medical school curriculum manager for 21 years. As a result of my mental decline, I was unable to work for over three months which, consequentially, made it difficult to pay all of the bills. I managed to rob Peter to pay Paul for several months & kept up with everything except for my house payment. It is now in arrears nearly $5,000.00 & I am out of resources. For the first time in my life, I am facing foreclosure. It is embarrassing & humiliating & I don't know how to tell my kids that they are likely to have no place to call home in the very near future. I feel like such a failure! Even though I've been an exemplary employee for many years, as a consequence of the self doubting & tremendous stress, I am now faced with the strong potential of losing my job due to my inability to focus & my lack of desire to face each day, As if this wasn't enough for one person to handle, I am also witnessing the daily decline of my father & my hero due to end stage Parkinson's & Alzheimer's.

I'm not sure how this begging website works but if there is someone out there that is willing to make me a loan & work out a payment arrangement, I promise not to let you down.....you will be repaid! I am working hard to battle the persisting PTSD symptoms that continue to plague me. I just worry that facing homelessness may be more than I can handle. Lord, I hand it over to You coz I come to You a broken, wounded angel. I thank you for any consideration and appreciate all prayers. May God bless you many times & in many ways for your generosity & kindness!

Because I believe in the power of prayer & the kindness of my fellow man, I've decided to swallow my pride & ask for help. This is not an action I am at all familiar with but am grasping at every straw to attempt to keep a roof over my family's head. We live in a modest house that we've called home for the past 25 years.

I am a single mother who's been truly blessed with 4, beautiful, healthy children; 3 biological & a foster son that joined our family when he was 12…..he is now 23. My kids are the reason I continue to battle through what has been the most challenging, darkest phase of my 50 years on this Earth.

In the summer of 2011, life, as my family knew it, was forever changed. My son got off the school bus & proceeded to enter a crime scene upon opening the front door of the house we call home. It was immediately clear that we were victims of a daytime home invasion and robbery. A trail of splinters led straight to my bedroom door, which had been demolished in the process of gaining entrance & access to my personal belongings. Robbers took my box of trash bags & proceeded to fill them with anything that could be sold or traded. I came home to find that they had stolen everything of value that I had worked for in my 50 years of existence & everything of value that my kids cherished as well.

It didn't happen often, but on the occasion that I had a few extra dollars to spend on myself, I found pleasure in buying nice jewelry. Through the years, I had managed to accumulate a nice collection. Also, as a child, my father & I shared an interest in coin collecting. I had managed to hold on to several interesting coins my dad & I found. Weekly, he also, gave me & my brothers our allowance of a fifty cent piece each. I had somehow managed to hold on to many of these as well. I stored my coin collection in the bottom portion of my large armoire. This area is what my family referred to as "the safe." Anything of value, particularly sentimental, was given to me to be protected in the safe. A couple good examples are my, then, 10 year old son's game ball for hitting the Championship game winning grand slam home run & my daughter's horse riding medals, show jewelry & accessories, as well as a silver handled knife & sheath…….the only personal possession my foster son owned from his childhood. I carry a tremendous amount of guilt for not doing a better job of safe guarding my family's precious & dear possessions.

In addition to the lingering guilt, the robbery also resulted in other life altering psychological effects to me & my family. I continue to wonder if & when I will ever fully recover & be the secure, self confident person I was before the robbery. Immediately following the break-in, I was consumed by finding out who was responsible & ways of obtaining this information…..I could think of nothing else. After several weeks of frantic guessing & running wild goose chases, I started to realize that regaining possession of my property was less likely as each day went by. I could feel myself falling into a dark, lonely place accompanied by deep despair…..& unfortunately, I was content to be there. For the next several months, I could not work, did not eat or sleep & rarely came out of my bedroom. There was a film in my head that ran & reran the events leading up to & immediately following the robbery…..filled with the "I should've"s, "I could've"s and "what ifs." I am plagued with distrust & no longer find interest in much of anything. I was robbed of far more than just pieces of property…..they stole my trust in mankind, my desire to thrive, my faith in the world & my sanity.

I have worked as a medical school curriculum manager for 21 years. As a result of my mental decline, I was unable to work for over three months which, consequentially, made it difficult to pay all of the bills. I managed to rob Peter to pay Paul for several months & kept up with everything except for my house payment. It is now in arrears nearly $5,000.00 & I am out of resources. For the first time in my life, I am facing foreclosure. It is embarrassing & humiliating & I don't know how to tell my kids that they are likely to have no place to call home in the very near future. I feel like such a failure! Even though I've been an exemplary employee for many years, as a consequence of the self doubting & tremendous stress, I am now faced with the strong potential of losing my job due to my inability to focus & my lack of desire to face each day. As if this wasn't enough for one person to handle, I am also witnessing the daily decline of my father & my hero due to end stage Parkinson's & Alzheimer's.

I'm not sure how this begging website works but if there is someone out there that is willing to believe in me & offer me a loan & payment arrangements, I promise not to let you down.....you will be repaid! I am working hard to battle the persisting PTSD that continues to plague me. I just worry that facing homelessness may be more than I can handle. Lord, I hand it over to You coz I come to You a broken, wounded angel. I thank you for any consideration and appreciate all prayers. May God bless you many times & in many ways for your generosity & kindness!

My name is Jamie. I'm a 24 year old disabled college student ( I have celebral palsey ) studying to be a LCSW . A few years ago, I lost my Daddy to diabetes and with his death, I lost the only person who ever believed in me.

My mother is abusive both physically and emotionally. Because of this, I chose to be homeless instead of going back to live with her. I was homeless for almost a year and never panhandled . I just went without and lost a great deal of weight -- getting very sick.

I was diagnosed with PTSD while my father was alive because of my past and it only got worst after he died . Still , I pushed on. I got a little apartment and got myself back in school.

This year, I lost my grant because one of my prof failed EVERYONE in that class and it affected my others as well. Because of this, I had to pay for classes myself and have been pretty much broke ever since.

I never begged while homeless , but I'm doing so now.

I should also mention that I let someone stay with me for a while and she took full advantage of me and put me futhur into debt-- but I refused to let her be on the streets in the cold because I remembered what that felt like.


Everything that could go wrong this year has but I refuse to give up.

I need money for food as my food stamps have run out this month. My phone and cable are about ready to get shut off as well and I need both for school.


I'm just as poor college student doing my best to get by. Please help me.

Cable: 53.00 needed by the first
Phone: 60.00 - ASAP

Food: Any amount.

Thanks again.

This hurts to ask nothing seems to be going right
63 yrs old wife left. trying to start my own business can't live on disability. need someone to take a chance and help. no help from the sate seems like they just make it harder. when you try for extra help from ssa they want you to move out of your home and want you to live on less then what you are getting for ssdi. trying to get a head but just does not seem to work fighting with the VA for PTSD but that takes forever. if i can get help i will pay it forward if someone feels inclined to help i will pass it on the world would be better if people worked together. thanks will appreciate any help i can receive

Greetings,

My name is Stephanie. Following the death of both my parents in a car accident 5 years ago August my health has been in a steady decline. I suffer from neurological issues that will soon have me in a wheelchair, and advanced COPD that means I have to have Oxygen continuously. Yesterday I had to go the doctors in 85 degree heat without any air conditioning in my van. By the time I got to the medical center and tried to find this new doctors location I ended up collapsing twice between the walking and breathing. I weigh 83 pounds at 5'5" and I can't carry the oxygen with me when I have to exit the vehicle. Ultimately I ended up in the emergency room.

I live with my daughter and grandson of 6 years. My grandson was in the car when my parents were killed and suffered a major brain injury at 13 months. I'm happy to report though that after months of hospitalization he is right as rain and is mad at me currently ;o) because I'm on my computer which he adores playing with. My daughter suffers from PTSD since the accident my parents were killed in. She cannot drive without someone in the car and she was going to go with me yesterday but the heat was so bad that we were concerned about Gavin in the back in my black 1994 Ford Astro van. It was just way too hot for him and with her PTSD we HAVE to go through town to get anywhere or she will lose it so there would not have been any steady air flow.

It's been a long 5 years. My parents and I jointly owned a duplex. Their deaths were the beginning of the most miserable time of my life. When I divorced it was jointly decided that it would better if I lived in the upstairs apartment so they could be there for the kids while I worked. Over 16 years we became so close that their deaths nearly destroyed me. I paid for the last 15 years on the note of the house, my buy in and we all lived there incredibly content and happy. My parents were my best friends.

After their deaths during the mortgage meltdown, credit locks, and the economic fallout my career of 16 years was one of the first to go. I worked in the non-profit sector designing programming for inner-city communities with a specific focus on youth. So 8 months after their deaths the funding streams I used for the programming dried up and a job I loved disappeared.

Life insurance was enough to cover their debt with a little left over because they didn't carry much but in the end I lost my home of 16 years to the insurance company that covered my daughters son through work when they filed a $ 90,000.00 lien against my home. So 7 months after losing my job I also lost a home I loved. So I experienced 3 deaths within the span of a little over a year.

Because I was unemployed so long and had to use my cards to keep the lights on so to speak my credit is not good. So I can't borrow the funds or even charge a repair for the car.

I can no longer go to doctors visits alone. I'm too weak to walk very far without help and I can't carry the oxygen canister on my own. So I need my daughter for these visits.

Like anyone with severe health issues I'm buried in bills but what I really need help on is funds that will me to fix the air conditioning in my van which despite it's age runs like a champ. I have a physicians assistant who comes into my home to work with my but getting to the specialists has become real concern.

My daughter even with her PTSD has reached a point where she doesn't want me going alone. I was supposed to call her when I reached the doctors the other day when I collapsed the 2nd time and they took me to the specialists office I asked the receptionist to call my daughter. She didn't and she left my daughter terrified that something horrible had happened to me. I don't carry a cell I can't afford one. My daughter was getting better about both driving and me driving myself; because of this receptionist my daughter has now had a huge set back. I have to see that doctor again next week and I can't take them without air conditioning so what I'm going to have to do is make sure I find someone that sit with my daughter while I'm gone to help keep her anxiety level low. I don't have any choice I have to get there. I won't have anyone to carry my oxygen but I'm hoping I can in there.

Anything you can do would be greatly appreciated. I am more than happy to pay it forward as soon as I can. I have been a lifelong contributor to various causes and I know people are in dire straights right now. We all need help in one form or another. I would never ask if I could do this myself. Please forgive me.

If you would like to know more about the accident and my Grandson and his Grandmother who after losing her home and moving into a 3rd floor apartment made a terrible mistake in her depressed state go to http://ontheirway.vanderbiltchildrens.org/?article=7511 this a feature story Vanderbilt Children's Hospital did in their print and web magazine.

I am a 26 year old former college student, and I owe over $5000 to the college I was attending. I had a 4.0, was a member of 3 choirs & 2 honor societies, one of which I was elected events planner.

I had some unfortunate luck during my last few terms there. I found out I suffer from PTSD, my son was badly burned, I broke a rib due to pneumonia, and I began to suffer deep depression. Due to all of this I could not complete a few terms.

I looked to see if I had received my financial aid for the term and because of a glitch the computer said I had, so I paid for my books and classes. I then received a call saying I had not been awarded the money, and that I would have to pay every dime back even though it was their mistake for not telling me I was on academic probation.

This website is my last resort. I have dreams of graduating valedictorian, going on to graduate school, and of changing the world. I need a break. If anyone could help it would be a miracle. Any amount would be greatly appreciated. If you have any questions you can reach me at (541)791-7290 or e-mail me at: deena.anne@yahoo.com. I won't let you down. God bless <3

Can maybe get Social Security in 5 months but need help living till then.
Dire Straits. noun. a bad or difficult situation or state of affairs, (not just the name of a band).
Up front, I take full responsibility for my current condition/situation, no other person place or thing is responsible for bad decisions I have made. And I have made quite a few.
That being stated, here are the facts;
Currently living in a car(read that homeless).
Unemployed, not unemployable but a very poor job history.
Stuck in a place where the weather is nice, but I really do not want to be here.
So if you have guessed that this is a plee for help, you are correct.
How did I get here? Years of practice.
I recently spoke with a professional, not in his professional settings, but of subjet matter that is discussed in his professional settings.
After some communications between us his opinion is that quite probably I am suffering from PTSD (Post Tramatic Stress Disorder). Something I aquired at the age of 17. 45 years ago I was involved in an automobile accident that resulted in both deaths, yes plural, and permanent disability to persons other than myself. Although due to circumstances beyond my control I was never charged with any crime, and there are no wants or warrants now, I believe the accident was my fault. I am willing to discuss the details in private as posting them on the internet could possibly bring painful memories to any living family members involved.
So for 45 years I have practiced the symptoms of PTSD so well that I have slipped through undetected. Probably in part due to the fact that although I am of the typical age of a Vietnam Vet, I never served in that arena, as I ran away from home just after the accident, because I was afraid of going to jail, that any draft papers never caught up with me. I was not afraid of going to jail because of being locked behind bars, I was afraid of suffering more sexual abuse at the hands of older inmates like I had already received from my sick alcoholic father.
So not being a vet and not discussing the accident no one ever considered PTSD, and they now know that severe trama of any sort can cause it, not just the theatre of the battlefield. Couple that to me not staying in one spot long enough for anyone to really know me. I have been successfully hiding in my head. As long as I don't get too close too intimate it won't hurt when I run away and lose you.
Severe trama it is now believed to stunt emotional growth. If the trama is severe enough emotional growth can in fact be locked in to the time of the tramatic event. So imagine being a teenager in a 61 year old body, thats me. Married 4 times afraid to have children. I heard on a radio talk show when I was very young that "The sins of the fathers where passed to their offsprings" and made a decision to never have children because no way was I going to do what was done to me to some helpless trusting child. This is one of the few things that I have been successful at.
The professional says I must discuss these matters, that is part of the healing process. So I am jumping in off the deep end, going online with my story in hopes that it will benefit myself and any other poor sod that happens to be in a similar situation.
Yes I am asking for help, financial help. Here with the help of the professional is what I am thinking, If I can find a few thousand lucky individuals that are housed and employed to give one dollar then I can purchase a used motorhome, put it in an inexpensive rv park so that I can have a base of operations from which to take showers on a daily basis, eat hot food and have an address to put on job applications. I could find some form of professional assistance either city/state/federal to deal with the PTSD for the long term.
There is help available.
And just to ease the voices in your head, I have not had a drink of alcohol or any hard drugs since 1982. I have used marijuana on a irregular basis off and on my whole life, I'll see what the PTSD treatment brings regarding that issue.
Honesty, what a concept.
Well if you have read this far, please, if you can afford it, click the paypal button and just one dollar is all I ask.
Thank You,
Joe

PLEASE HELP ME SAVE MY HOME. i AM DISABILED. I DROVE A TRAIN FOR 16 YEARS. A DRUNK WOMAN FELL UNDER MY TRAIN AND ENDING MY CAREER. I HAVE PTSD. I HAVE PETS AND NEED HELP GOD BLESS YOU!

I am a foster mum and am struggling to make ends meet. I have three wonderful foster children that will be part of my life for ever but I wish I could give them a better start. I need money to help support my daughter's education as she needs equipment and trips as part of the course. My foster son who has a learning disability and PTSD has studied jewlery making and would love to buy the equipment to make stuff at home. My other daughter is getting ready to leave but I have no monies to help her start her adult life.
I love these children like my own but because I have no savings I can not offer them what they need to get started in life.
Any donation however small will make a difference. Please help. Thank you for reading this.

let me start by saying my name is crystal and i have 2 very beautiful children i am 30 yr s old and i married a man that i thought was a devout christian..after about 6 yr of marriage my 12 yr old comes to me and tells me that my husband has been touching her inappriatly and has been doing this for a ahwile so i took the appriate steps had him arrested for this he was bonded out and has continuasly harassed me and my children since december ...the police r doing everything in their power to help with the situation ...but now i have his family harassing me...anyway my daughter is now suffering from ptsd and depression...this man took my daughters innocents from her...he destroyed our marriage ...my daughter tried to kill her self right after all this because she thought this was her fault i have her in counceling but it doent seem to be helping i get a phone call today from my divorce lawyer saying i would probably not be able to keep our house because he is fighting me for it and the house is in his name ...he was the supporter in the house so his name was on the bills.not mine..so i need help either with a home or relocation expences i am in the process of looking for work so far i havent had any luck a job would be nice too..any ways godbless and ty

I've decided to try and get help through donations http://www.giveforward.com/unbreakmyheart and funding http://unbreakmyheart2011.blogspot.com/from outside sources since every doctor I've seen in 2 years agree that I need the leads to my ICD (defibrillator) replaced; but shuffle me back to the original doctor and wash their hands of me.

I'm raising funds for ICD replacement surgery, to go see a HOCM specialist (Dr. Craig Asher) at Cleveland Clinic in S. Florida and to have advanced testing through Vanderbilt Autonomic Center in Tennessee.

I don't want to admit I need help; I've always been a strong, independent person who took care of everything and everyone. In August 2009, my whole world changed. After my procedure, I applied for disability and was turned down twice and had to hire an attorney. I went from being "super" mom, wife & friend and care taker of an Autistic son to being the one who had to be taken care of.

So how did I get to the point I have to ask others for help? Shortly before Father's Day 2009, I fell and broke my foot. When it didn't heal, I went to my primary with a broken foot and came out with a broken heart. After the shock wore off from the doctor telling me that I was going to die if I didn't have valve surgery; I started asking questions.

I didn't quite believe him and thought he was over reacting when he told me I was going to die because I walked and ran 3-5 times weekly and even did strenuous yard work. I felt fine and have 4 children aged 9-26 and kept up with them and stayed very active in things they did; but I was a ticking time bomb just waiting for the right time for my heart to stop.

He sent me to several specialists who said I had nothing really wrong, just some mild valve problems associated with aging; which was a huge relief. Everything seemed normal except my EKG's; they showed I had a huge amount of PVC's (premature ventricular contractions) roughly 50,000 “extra” heartbeats daily.

My heart didn't really beat fully; it only quivered like a bowl of jello day in day out. The problem with it beating like this is, the heart becomes very ineffective at pumping and your cardiac output drops and heart muscle damage can occur.

The cardiologist and electrophysiologist I saw did extensive testing and recommended more testing in the hospital. I went in for a sleep study, Tilt table test and EP Study with Ablation. The sleep study revealed I had moderately severe sleep apnea and my oxygen goes from 99% down to 73% at night making it very dangerous for me when I sleep.

The tilt table test was the first inkling that something dangerous was going on inside. I fainted and had no palpable pulse; which is a very rare thing to happen. I was diagnosed with Dysautonomia - Neurocardiogenic Syncope and Orthostatic Intolerance.
I then had an ablation to burn the extra pathways in my heart and get rid of the pvc's I was living with daily. I was told this would be a relatively easy process and given a 95% success rate to get rid of the extra beats completely but it never crossed my mind that anything would happen.

What preliminary tests failed to show, is the pattern and origin of my arrhythmias were in a very dangerous spot to ablate - the RV Apex – in the bottom thin underside of the heart.

During the EP Study, I went into cardiac arrest and my heart stopped completely with no rhythm they could shock (Asystole), some how it started again for a few minutes but then stopped again. They were able to shock me back to normal sinus rhythm and luckily, the third time it stopped; it restarted on it's own so I didn't have to be shocked again.

I was diagnosed with Polymorphic Ventricular Tachycardia; a very dangerous, life threatening arrhythmia. I stayed in the hospital for 4 days trying to find a cause and to be prepped for an ICD (implantable cardiac defibrillator).

It took a cardiac catherization to finally find the problem and to show I had HOCM (obstructive Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy) and internal high pressures in my valves.

My regular EP had to go out of town after the first procedure, so his partner had to do the implant; he wasn't as skilled as my regular dr and botched the lead implants.

When they checked the leads the next day before releasing me, they found a problem with the lead placement but the dr said it was "ok" and sent me home. Since then, I've had nothing but problems with the unit and been told by several other EP's I need to have the leads replaced and the ICD could be causing part of my problems.

Doctors think my other problems are related to HOCM (obstructive hypertrophic cardiomyopathy) and Autonomic nervous system failure and when I faint, my heart stops briefly causing damage each time this happens.

After the procedure, my body started failing from the damage it sustained the 4 times my heart stopped. My original cardiologist told me I would be in a wheel chair and totally dependent on others for everything by the time I'm 50; which is daunting because in March I'll be 45 and I can't deny the facts - my body is failing.

I was put on 10,000g sodium daily, water/fluid loading, Midodrine (insurance won't cover it $312 - 30 day supply), Propanolol, Pantoprazole, pain meds, suppression hose and binders as well as having to stay supine the majority of the day - which caused my heart failure to worsen and my EF (ejection fraction) to go down.

Nothing the doctor's have tried has helped, I still faint and my heart stops on a daily basis and I never know from one day to the next if something is going to trigger fluid build up and I have an acute attack.

In June 2011 I fainted falling into the side of my tiled tub, lacerating the side of my head in the process, severely sprained my neck and suffered a concussion. After that episode, I became a bit more cautious with every move I make because the dr found declining neurological functioning and mild brain damage; he said any more falls could lead to permanent major brain damage.

With so many previous medical bills and co-pays, I can't afford the 20% co-insurance to have my ICD replaced and Mayo Clinic wants a $5,000 deposit up front even with insurance. My ICD alone is $125,000, leads another $30,000 and then there's the doctor and hospital fees; which I won't know the cost until the procedure is done.

Each heart rhythm specialist and cardiologist I see tell me there is nothing more they can do after going over my history and treatments; I have a long hard fight to go and I have to just be thankful each day I'm alive. Some days I'm really glad I made it through, other days when the problems and pain take over; I wish the dr's had let me die.

I developed PTSD after the procedure, panic disorder and extreme agoraphobia. I went into such a deep depression over my health issues, I was afraid I would never see the lighter side of things again. I finally went to see a psychologist who prescribed Lamictal and diagnosed me with Bi-Polar disorder which has helped greatly but I still struggle on a daily basis.

One day we were just the “normal” every day family and the toughest thing we had to deal with is a child with Autism. Then; our whole lives changed in an instant we were dealing with mounting medical bills, expensive prescriptions, tests, appointments, loss of income and dealing with the possibility of death on a daily basis.

You just never know what the day may bring, so keep those you love close to you and never take one second for granted.
From the bottom of my heart thank you - even if it's support to say hey; I'm here if you need to talk or I know how you're feeling.

I've decided to try and get help through donations http://www.giveforward.com/unbreakmyheart and funding http://unbreakmyheart2011.blogspot.com/from outside sources since every doctor I've seen in 2 years agree that I need the leads to my ICD (defibrillator) replaced; but shuffle me back to the original doctor and wash their hands of me.

I'm raising funds for ICD replacement surgery, to go see a HOCM specialist (Dr. Craig Asher) at Cleveland Clinic in S. Florida and to have advanced testing through Vanderbilt Autonomic Center in Tennessee.

I don't want to admit I need help; I've always been a strong, independent person who took care of everything and everyone. In August 2009, my whole world changed. After my procedure, I applied for disability and was turned down twice and had to hire an attorney. I went from being "super" mom, wife & friend and care taker of an Autistic son to being the one who had to be taken care of.

So how did I get to the point I have to ask others for help? Shortly before Father's Day 2009, I fell and broke my foot. When it didn't heal, I went to my primary with a broken foot and came out with a broken heart. After the shock wore off from the doctor telling me that I was going to die if I didn't have valve surgery; I started asking questions.

I didn't quite believe him and thought he was over reacting when he told me I was going to die because I walked and ran 3-5 times weekly and even did strenuous yard work. I felt fine and have 4 children aged 9-26 and kept up with them and stayed very active in things they did; but I was a ticking time bomb just waiting for the right time for my heart to stop.

He sent me to several specialists who said I had nothing really wrong, just some mild valve problems associated with aging; which was a huge relief. Everything seemed normal except my EKG's; they showed I had a huge amount of PVC's (premature ventricular contractions) roughly 50,000 “extra” heartbeats daily.

My heart didn't really beat fully; it only quivered like a bowl of jello day in day out. The problem with it beating like this is, the heart becomes very ineffective at pumping and your cardiac output drops and heart muscle damage can occur.

The cardiologist and electrophysiologist I saw did extensive testing and recommended more testing in the hospital. I went in for a sleep study, Tilt table test and EP Study with Ablation. The sleep study revealed I had moderately severe sleep apnea and my oxygen goes from 99% down to 73% at night making it very dangerous for me when I sleep.

The tilt table test was the first inkling that something dangerous was going on inside. I fainted and had no palpable pulse; which is a very rare thing to happen. I was diagnosed with Dysautonomia - Neurocardiogenic Syncope and Orthostatic Intolerance.
I then had an ablation to burn the extra pathways in my heart and get rid of the pvc's I was living with daily. I was told this would be a relatively easy process and given a 95% success rate to get rid of the extra beats completely but it never crossed my mind that anything would happen.

What preliminary tests failed to show, is the pattern and origin of my arrhythmias were in a very dangerous spot to ablate - the RV Apex – in the bottom thin underside of the heart.

During the EP Study, I went into cardiac arrest and my heart stopped completely with no rhythm they could shock (Asystole), some how it started again for a few minutes but then stopped again. They were able to shock me back to normal sinus rhythm and luckily, the third time it stopped; it restarted on it's own so I didn't have to be shocked again.

I was diagnosed with Polymorphic Ventricular Tachycardia; a very dangerous, life threatening arrhythmia. I stayed in the hospital for 4 days trying to find a cause and to be prepped for an ICD (implantable cardiac defibrillator).

It took a cardiac catherization to finally find the problem and to show I had HOCM (obstructive Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy) and internal high pressures in my valves.

My regular EP had to go out of town after the first procedure, so his partner had to do the implant; he wasn't as skilled as my regular dr and botched the lead implants.

When they checked the leads the next day before releasing me, they found a problem with the lead placement but the dr said it was "ok" and sent me home. Since then, I've had nothing but problems with the unit and been told by several other EP's I need to have the leads replaced and the ICD could be causing part of my problems.

Doctors think my other problems are related to HOCM (obstructive hypertrophic cardiomyopathy) and Autonomic nervous system failure and when I faint, my heart stops briefly causing damage each time this happens.

After the procedure, my body started failing from the damage it sustained the 4 times my heart stopped. My original cardiologist told me I would be in a wheel chair and totally dependent on others for everything by the time I'm 50; which is daunting because in March I'll be 45 and I can't deny the facts - my body is failing.

I was put on 10,000g sodium daily, water/fluid loading, Midodrine (insurance won't cover it $312 - 30 day supply), Propanolol, Pantoprazole, pain meds, suppression hose and binders as well as having to stay supine the majority of the day - which caused my heart failure to worsen and my EF (ejection fraction) to go down.

Nothing the doctor's have tried has helped, I still faint and my heart stops on a daily basis and I never know from one day to the next if something is going to trigger fluid build up and I have an acute attack.

In June 2011 I fainted falling into the side of my tiled tub, lacerating the side of my head in the process, severely sprained my neck and suffered a concussion. After that episode, I became a bit more cautious with every move I make because the dr found declining neurological functioning and mild brain damage; he said any more falls could lead to permanent major brain damage.

With so many previous medical bills and co-pays, I can't afford the 20% co-insurance to have my ICD replaced and Mayo Clinic wants a $5,000 deposit up front even with insurance. My ICD alone is $125,000, leads another $30,000 and then there's the doctor and hospital fees; which I won't know the cost until the procedure is done.

Each heart rhythm specialist and cardiologist I see tell me there is nothing more they can do after going over my history and treatments; I have a long hard fight to go and I have to just be thankful each day I'm alive. Some days I'm really glad I made it through, other days when the problems and pain take over; I wish the dr's had let me die.

I developed PTSD after the procedure, panic disorder and extreme agoraphobia. I went into such a deep depression over my health issues, I was afraid I would never see the lighter side of things again. I finally went to see a psychologist who prescribed Lamictal and diagnosed me with Bi-Polar disorder which has helped greatly but I still struggle on a daily basis.

One day we were just the “normal” every day family and the toughest thing we had to deal with is a child with Autism. Then; our whole lives changed in an instant we were dealing with mounting medical bills, expensive prescriptions, tests, appointments, loss of income and dealing with the possibility of death on a daily basis.

You just never know what the day may bring, so keep those you love close to you and never take one second for granted.

From the bottom of my heart thank you - even if it's support to say hey; I'm here if you need to talk or I know how you're feeling.

Hello my name is charles shephard and Im a Iraq vet with severe PTSD and bipolar disorder. I have had a very hard life since coming back from Iraq. When I came back from Iraq they didn't send me to a mental health specialist. I'm fighting the VA right now for disability. They are telling me that I need to get a lawyer and get ALL my paper work together showing that I have PTSD and Bipolar because of the Army. I need help with paying a lawyer to help me with my case. My doctors already said I can NOT work at all. I have a severe mental condition that keeps me from working. The Army messed me up in the head. And I didn't even know what PTSD was until 2 years ago. The WHOLE military gets tested for any type of mental conditions that they get while serving over seas. Back in 2003 they did not. This is there fault and they wont help me with a lawyer. I need at least 500 dollars for a good lawyer. Anyone that can would be great. I hate staying home every day in fear because I can not handle seeing anyone else but my wife. I have flash backs all the time and I really don't want to live in fear of the outside work. Any help would be appropriated.

I've never done this before, and feel ashamed to do so, but here goes nothing. A little over a year ago I was diagnosed with PTSD due to extreme child abuse and torture at the hands of my mother and grandmother. It got so bad that I couldn't cope with anything anymore. My job was very unhelpful with assisting me on having lighter duty and they ended up firing me. This past July my partner of 6 years broke up with me because he no longer wanted to deal with the PTSD and we parted ways. I had to find an apartment that I could afford for me and my dog. I've been able to make rent and pay bills but things are getting tighter. I'm only eating once a day and having to ration my medications to keep afloat. I'm not asking anyone to support me, just a little help. Trying to live on $1,300 a month is virtually impossible and I need my dog to keep my mood up. Along with the PTSD I also have agorophobia and have a hard time just getting out. I still have to pay off my pet deposit also. Thank you.

Barely scraping by. I am self employed, but not bringing in much at this time. Need to get back home to see my animals and get my belongings. Only wanted to be gone from my home for a small amount of time and have been "stuck" in my current rut for longer than expected. I have complex ptsd (and other mental health issues) which really makes it difficult for me to find a job. I have just enough money to pay my rent and some bills. I really just want to get back to my old hometown. If you can help I would really appreciate it. I haven't ever done this before, but I do not have anyone to turn to for help.
My email is violet8880@gmail if you want to contact me.
Greendot and western union would work out best for me.
Willing to do work from home jobs as well...data entry, research, etc.
Thanks for your time.

I'm 23 years old, living on my own in northern canada. I have been self sufficient since the age of 16, and not without struggle.

I'm currently attending post secondary education, but my financial aid does not cover much more than part of the cost of my tuition and books, with nothing left over for food and clothing and medication.

I struggle with Chronic Complex PTSD, SOcial and general anxiety, major depression and am being monitored for bipolar- all of this caused me to lose my job that i had held for three years.

As you can imagine, things are pretty rough, but i try to hold my head up and get through each day, hoping one day i can catch a break.

So please, if you can, find it in your heart to help me out, and i will be forever grateful.

In 2005 I was on 12 medications, mostly psychiatric. I got a migraine after 3 days of no sleep due to chronic insomnia, which I still have. My Dr. did not know how to treat it and gave me a flu shot and sleeping pills.

I had a severe reaction to the shot and got the flu which turned into chronic fatigue. I also developed cognitive problems similar to early dementia. I have not been able to work successfully since 2005 and have a lot of cognitive problems when I do. I am on disability which barely covers my personal needs and does not cover my bills. My partner supports me.

On top of this I have struggled with mental illness my whole adult life and have felt suicidal most of the time. I have been diagnosed with Early Dimentia, Anxiety Disorder, Bi-Polar, PTSD from childhood abuse and recently Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)which is very hard to treat. (Learmm about BPD here http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=17770 )

The only evidence-based treatment for BPD is Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) which costs $800/month for a 4 month group with intensive therapy.
(Learn about the treatment here http://www.cognitivetherapynyc.com/DBT.aspx )

As a result of not working I have not been able to contribute to family bills and we are 2-3 months behind on most. We rob peter to pay paul monthly not to get the electricity shut off or the car repossessed or foreclosed on. We faced forecloseure one year.

I hope that with treatment I can return to work. I am happy to talk to you about this in detail if you are interested.

Cyber Panhandling? I had never heard of such a thing until I saw a post about Karyn Bosnak last month. She starts a website and asks for $20,000 to help her pay off her credit cards. And she does it!! When I read about it I thought you've got to be kidding me, who would actually believe this girl's story? But then I saw it with my own eyes. All I can say is WOW, who would have thought? I don't have the money to start my own website nor do I have the $9.95 to have my post rotated here and frankly begging for money is making my stomach hurt. But here I am. Am I the only one who is sitting here staring at the screen not knowing how to do this, where to start or thinking do I really have the courage? The thing is, I really don't know what else to do. So here goes.

Wow, this is hard. How do I start? "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up"? Well that's true in a way I guess. I think my problem is I'm afraid to tell you my story because I don't want you to think I'm telling you it because I want you to feel sorry for me because I really don't but how will you know why I am where I am because of it. Ok I just deleted my story and will just say that I had open heart surgery a couple of years ago at the age of 39 for a tumor so you can imagine the medical bills racked up from that. I suffer from depression and PTSD (post tramatic stress disorder)and major anxiety so I've been in the hospital for that...more hospital bills. My husband was laid off from work for 9 months and finally landed a job in a different state and while we were driving up for a week of his training we flipped over twice on black ice. By the grace of God my husband, myself and our 13 year old daughter walked away. But we didn't have insurance because we couldn't afford it. We are so far behind on our bills, our cell phones are turned off, the electricity is next, my daughter needs a bed, she needs her braces put back on (we had to have them taken off when we lost our insurance). We have sold anything of value on craigslist. Our refrigerator is empty, I can't get a job because I don't have a car. If it was just me I'd live in a box, I truly don't want anything for me. But I don't want my daughter to suffer. Trying to hide our financial problems has been so hard but luckily she doesn't know the extent. She's such a good kid. Gets good grades, has the biggest heart and doesn't ask for much. It is killing me because I don't want her to suffer like we are.

Ok, I have to stop now. Please help me if you can. I meant what I said, if you want to know my story, I will tell you. Please know that I am being completely honest. Asking for help is hard but I just don't know what else to do.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

My name is Missy. I am a 49 year old struggling grandmother of 3 sweet, beautiful boys, ages 5, 7 and 8. I am trying desperately to save and protect my grandsons and ensure their futures. I would not ask help if it were only for me. I am asking for help for them, so that my 3 innocent little grandsons will be safe, secure and have a chance in life. As things stand right now, we will be homeless within the next 2 weeks.
My greatest fear is that when (not if) I do become homeless, which isn’t that far off, the state will take my grandsons because we have no place to live, split them up and put them in foster homes. That thought scares the hell out of me. I am all those sweet little boys have. And if they lose each other too, after losing everyone and everything else that they known and loved, I fear their lives will be ruined at the tender ages of 5, 7 and 8.
I suffer from PTSD, COPD and fibromyalgia and each day I struggle with mental distress and physical pain. We live near the New Orleans Metro Area in Jefferson Parish, Louisiana. We were displaced for a year after Hurricane Katrina, came back, bought a mobile home in Lafitte, Louisiana and tried to rebuild our lives. In 2008, when Hurricanes Gustav and Ike hit us back to back, our home was flooded with more than 4 feet of water; unreachable, except by boat for over 2 weeks.
At that time, my mother, age 75, had been experiencing the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s as well as a series of strokes which affected the memory and impulse control centers of her brain due to a vascular disease which severely decreased the flow of blood to those areas of her brain. During these TIA’s and small strokes/seizures, she behaved erratically and during larger ones she could become paranoid and psychotic. She had to be hospitalized for several of the more severe episodes, as she was becoming a danger to herself and others. The effects of these episodes lingered for days, sometimes weeks. Afterwards, she had no memory of anything that happened during that time period.
After the storms, we moved in with my mother to help her and because we did, FEMA stopped helping us. And since we could not afford to rebuild again without FEMA’s help, we lost our home. The recent BP oil spill was just another deep blow to our already struggling local economy.
Mom required 24/7/365 assistance and supervision, which she could not afford. She was eventually diagnosed with vascular disease of the brain and Alzheimer’s. Due to the region of her brain that was affected her disease went unnoticed for several years, until she had a large enough stroke to prompt her to seek medical attention. This diagnosis explained her erratic behavior of the past several years, I have since been homebound, unable to leave mom untended for any length of time and unable to work outside the home due to my mother’s need for the past 3 years.
My mother passed away this past April at the age of 79. She had suffered from Alzheimer's and vascular dementia, suffering several major and minor strokes and seizures over the past 6+ years. On April 9th she suffered a massive stroke, lingering for 9 days before passing on the 18th. God rest her soul, I miss her. I loved my mom very much and did everything I could to help her.
To add to the difficulties already faced by our loss, my youngest daughter, who had been living in Ohio with what turned out to be a conman/ junkie twice her age that saw a vulnerable young woman with 3 children and took advantage of that fact, had been physically, verbally and emotionally abusive to all of them for the past 1½ years. 2 weeks before Mom passed, she got in major legal trouble in Ohio and sent my 3 young grandsons to me to raise.
Now, things have turned for the worst... On August 17th we discovered that my eldest daughter took my mother to an attorney and had her write a will leaving everything my mother had to her and excluding me! This abominable act was done 1 month after Hurricane Katrina when ALL of us were distraught and displaced from the storm! My mom was not in her right mind at that time, even though a full diagnosis had not yet been made on her true condition.... Also, in Louisiana, the bar for mental competency is set so low that so long as you are not actively drooling and babbling in front of the judge/attorney/witnesses you are considered competent!! It doesn’t matter if you won’t remember doing it five minutes later either. My mother, in her right mind, would NEVER have disinherited me.
Now, my greedy, self-serving, ungrateful eldest child decided that she will evict us so she can try to sell my mother's home, in which I and my grandsons, her nephews still live, so she can pay off mom's debt, which she exaggerates, and her student loans. She is fully aware of our circumstances, she just doesn’t care. The only transportation I have for my grandsons is the truck my mom gave me before her death, but did not have the money to transfer title on. It is now part of mom’s estate and she took that too.
I called the Clerk in division where probate/ succession on my mom were filed... Clerk said that I need an attorney to file contest to the will, herein lies the problem... there is not 1 single legal aid agency in the ENTIRE New Orleans Metro area that can handle a contested will!! There are also no private attorneys that will handle it either, unless there's big money in it for them, which in this case there is not.
Clerk also said she has no idea why I was never notified. Judge signed off regardless. There seems to be no justice for the poor in this country... since we can't afford to pay the exorbitant fees of a private attorney, which seems to be a necessity to get anything done in the courts. I have tried appealing to my daughter’s sense of decency, but she doesn’t seem to have one. Her actions are despicable and deplorable. I am ashamed to be her mother. It breaks my heart and sickens me to know that I brought such a hateful, selfish, greedy, heartless person into this world. I did not raise her to be that way.
I've called every single legal aid agency in my area; including the Bar Assoc. Lawyer referral service... no one will help because there just isn't any money in it for them... sad state this country is in when the poor cannot get justice anywhere.
We were told by the eviction court judge on Sept 12th, that we have 24 hours to vacate our home... stating that our situation is a matter for probate court. Thankfully, we found a place, however, we still need about $800.00 more to pay the $420.00 we still owe our new landlord to avoid eviction from this new place by the 5th of October plus $365.00 to the light company which will be past due (cut off)on the 7th and includes a new deposit and transfer fee.

I've also called churches and other charitable organizations for help... there are so many families in need in the New Orleans metro area that any help is minimal. ALL homeless shelters are full up with waiting lists so long they are no longer taking applications for assistance.
I have applied for Section 8 housing, but there is a HUGE waiting list. The HUD Section 8 waiting list in Louisiana is backlogged 5+ years and has more than 20,000 applicants still waiting for vouchers, many of whom are currently homeless. They are not accepting any new applicants.
I have contacted EVERY charitable and public/community service agency that I can think of for help... none has been forthcoming as of yet..... Is there ANYONE out there with a heart who can and will help us? I have nowhere else to turn.
I’ve spent days seeking legal help... bottom line... none available... so since if my defense is denied and I can't fight the eviction then we are out on the streets with nowhere to go.
My nerves are shot; the house hunt is not going well.
I am hurt by my daughter’s actions and so sickened over all of this mess that I can barely think straight. I cry myself to sleep every night and awake with tears in my eyes and a rock in the pit of my stomach. Yet I dry them and try to be strong and act as if everything is normal for my grandsons who need me now more than ever. I still haven’t had time to grieve my mother’s death.
We are now faced with trying to find alternate housing that we can afford on the $840.00 a month income that I receive in Kinship Care for my grandsons. Fat chance in this over-priced rental market. Even a 1 bedroom apartment in Crack Alley goes for more than my income in this post-Katrina/Gustav/Ike market.
And it's starting to look like me and my grandsons will be homeless very soon... by the end of the 1st week in October.
Their mother is in prison and their deadbeat, psycho father hasn't been seen in almost 2 years, ever since he beat the hell out of his girlfriend, killed their little dog in front of my boys, stole and trashed her car and ended up in a mental hospital wanting to kill himself... my babies have had enough grief and loss in their lives... they need love, help and compassion.... and a decent place to live... soon!
We’re trying to stay in this area because my boyfriend of 11 years, and my only help, has an elderly, widowed mother who needs his help too. And we are all she has. She cannot take us in because her trailer is very small and there is no room for 5 more people in it.
Work is also scarce and hard to find in the New Orleans metro area due to the huge influx of big out of state companies with their out of state workers getting all of the bigger jobs and contracts and the even larger influx of foreign laborers so severely underbidding the smaller construction jobs, cutting local workers and sub-contractors, like my boyfriend, right out of the job market. Every day he goes out hunting for work taking any job offered.
I have prayed on this so hard and so often since this mess all began. I have put my burden in Jesus' Hands. For He is the only one that can save us. I can only hope that he sends us Angels to deliver us soon, for without help from someone, somewhere here on earth we are lost. I feel so lost and utterly alone... this truly is my darkest hour.
If there is ANYONE out there who can offer assistance, legal, residential, financial, whatever help you can give... please contact me ASAP. I have exhausted all available resources.
Right now, I can barely afford toilet paper to wipe our butts with.
We are thankful and grateful for the help we have received from 5 of my 267 facebook friends, our local churches and the 2nd Harvest Food Bank, as well as some assistance on our utility bill from our local community action organization. That meager help has helped us survive thus far, but our resources are nearly spent. Please have mercy on us and donate whatever you can to help me save my family. If enough people with a heart and some compassion give up just 1 cup of Latte from Starbucks and donate to help save us, we will be able to make it… small donations add up and every little bit helps.
Thank you for listening to my problems and for your consideration of my plight.
May God Bless you tenfold for any help you send us.
Proverbs 3: 3-7
Let not mercy and truth forsakes you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart,
And so find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

Hi. My name is Julie. I am a single mom. I have one at home, she is 13 and another that just started college.
I worked for a church for 4 years. I only lasted 6 months when a new Minister arrived. I am terrified of being homeless. I suffer from PTSD and Epilepsy. Last month my ex-husband, my daughter's father (the one in college) committed suicide. It just pushed my PTSD symptoms to the surface. I am working hard to hold it all together and I apply for multiple jobs a day. I have $1.28 in the bank, and no money for any bills. I have no credit card debt. Each day I wake up in panic wondering how I am going to keep a roof over our heads. We DESPERATELY need help. I wasn't even able to get my 13 yr old new clothes for school. I am the woman that stops and gives clothes, food, or money to the homeless when I could. Please help us. We just need enough to get by until I find a job. My rent includes utilities and is $581/month. I also have to pay my car insurance and phone. We need your help...Please..

My name is Mike, I am a combat veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom and after coming home, I was diagnosed with PTSD. As is typical with PTSD, I did not seek immidiate treatment for the condition, I was going through a divorce, losing everything, and I was unemployed. I started using alot of drugs and alcohol in an attempt to self medicate and I ended up homeless, addicted and in alot of legal trouble. I have since, remarried,my wife and I have 3 children (2 years, 1 year, and new born) and our 1 year old was born 3 months pre mature and has cerebral palsey as well as several other serious medical conditions. I have over 2 years clean and sober now, and I have not had any new criminal charges in 3 years, i recently turned myself in on the last warrant i had and served my jail time and I no longer have any pending legal charges. My problem is this, due to the warrants I had, my drivers license was suspended in 2008 and now that all charges are resolved, I can not afford my re-instatement fee. I am current on the pay plan for all fines and court costs, but with our limited income, our sons medical issues, and my fine payments, on top of regular living expenses (rent, utilities, diapers, food, etc) there is no way I can pay my reinstatement fee's or get a drivers license. I will worry about getting a car later, but I had a CDL before it was suspended and if I can get it back, I know I will be able to increase our income and achieve self sufficiency. If you can help, please consider doing so, it will not be unappreciated!

My name is Mike, I am a combat veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom and after coming home, I was diagnosed with PTSD. As is typical with PTSD, I did not seek immidiate treatment for the condition, I was going through a divorce, losing everything, and I was unemployed. I started using alot of drugs and alcohol in an attempt to self medicate and I ended up homeless, addicted and in alot of legal trouble. I have since, remarried,my wife and I have 3 children (2 years, 1 year, and new born) and our 1 year old was born 3 months pre mature and has cerebral palsey as well as several other serious medical conditions. I have over 2 years clean and sober now, and I have not had any new criminal charges in 3 years, i recently turned myself in on the last warrant i had and served my jail time and I no longer have any pending legal charges. My problem is this, due to the warrants I had, my drivers license was suspended in 2008 and now that all charges are resolved, I can not afford my re-instatement fee. I am current on the pay plan for all fines and court costs, but with our limited income, our sons medical issues, and my fine payments, on top of regular living expenses (rent, utilities, diapers, food, etc) there is no way I can pay my reinstatement fee's or get a drivers license. I will worry about getting a car later, but I had a CDL before it was suspended and if I can get it back, I know I will be able to increase our income and achieve self sufficiency. If you can help, please consider doing so, it will not go unappreciated!

My name is Mike, I am a combat veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom and after coming home, I was diagnosed with PTSD. As is typical with PTSD, I did not seek immidiate treatment for the condition, I was going through a divorce, losing everything, and I was unemployed. I started using alot of drugs and alcohol in an attempt to self medicate and I ended up homeless, addicted and in alot of legal trouble. I have since, remarried,my wife and I have 3 children (2 years, 1 year, and new born) and our 1 year old was born 3 months pre mature and has cerebral palsey as well as several other serious medical conditions. I have over 2 years clean and sober now, and I have not had any new criminal charges in 3 years, i recently turned myself in on the last warrant i had and served my jail time and I no longer have any pending legal charges. My problem is this, due to the warrants I had, my drivers license was suspended in 2008 and now that all charges are resolved, I can not afford my re-instatement fee. I am current on the pay plan for all fines and court costs, but with our limited income, our sons medical issues, and my fine payments, on top of regular living expenses (rent, utilities, diapers, food, etc) there is no way I can pay my reinstatement fee's or get a drivers license. I will worry about getting a car later, but I had a CDL before it was suspended and if I can get it back, I know I will be able to increase our income and achieve self sufficiency. If you can help, please consider doing so, it will not be unappreciated!