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My daughter and I are in need of finding a place of our own. These past couple months have been extremely hard because of the death of my mother. We were all living together and my mom was splitting the rent with me and I was working to take care of her. She was sick with Cancer and she had the operation and we all thought she was going to be okay. She did not recover like we expected and she ended up going in a Rehabilitation Center and we visited her often until she came home. I am the youngest of her children. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister and we are called the Berry 5. We were allways known as the Berry Family from the time we were little. My mom started to do better and we were so happy to have her home. It came time for her to Start Chemotherapy and Radiation. She was scared but I and my sister talked her into it because we knew the doctors had told us that she needed it because the cancer had spread to her lymp nodes and when they did the surgery they were not able to get everything. My mom had done one week of Radiation and she went in for one session of Chemo. The same day she had Chemo she seemed fine and then 2 days later she was having fevers, throwing up and so extremely weak. I thought it was because of the Chemo because that is what was explained to us. My concern was she couldn't keep anything down. I needed to give her medication for her Diabetes and High Blood Pressure but everytime I gave her anything, it all came up and so I was so scared because her blood sugar was high and I didn't want it to get any higher. She began to complain of stomach pain and I thought it was another side effect of the Chemo. For a couple days of her vomiting and having diarrhea, I was able to get some fluids down her and it seemed to stay. Little by little we both thought she was doing better. Her strength was not there though, it was difficult for her to even get up to go to the bathroom. The following day she continued to vomit and I was scared so I told her she needed to go to the hospital, because I felt that they could help her more. They could give her medications through an IV and they could find out why she was so weak and everything. She was scared and did not want to go but I convinced her. The ambulance came and took her to the hospital. I tried to follow her but I had to pick up my 11 year old daughter from school. I did go and they would not let me go back right away. I told them my mom had been brought in and they told me she wasn't checked in yet. About 20 minutes passed and I went back up to the window and they told me they would see if the doctor would let me back there and they were saying my daughter couldn't come back there because she wasn't 14, I told them she is only 11 years old and I'm not leaving her in the waiting room with strangers and that she was coming back there with me. They finally let us in and we went back to see my mom. I couldn't believe they had her hooked up to so many machines and she was on morphine and so out of it. I walked up to her and I said Ma, I'm here and she turned and looked at me. She was happy to see me, but then she told me that they told her, they found blood in her stools. I told her it was probably just do to her Hemorrhoids. but she said they told her it was positive for something. I asked her for what and she didn't know. I began looking for the doctor so I could ask questions but he wasn't around and everyone I talked to told me the doctor would be in soon to go over my mom's condition. I stayed with my mom, just holding her hand, telling her I loved her and that she was going to be okay. They came in to take her to have an ultrasound and my daughter and I waited. The doctor finally came in and told me that my mom had an abcess in her stomach that had burst. I said what are you talking about? He said that she had a condition called peridonitis and that the abcess burst and was releasing all this poison inside her stomach and her blood pressure was dropping dramatically. He then told me it was too dangerous for them to operate at that time because her INR level to to high. My mom had been taking Cumadin for a blood clot that she previously had and the cumadin made her INR level extremely high and her blood was not clotting so they said if they did surgery, she would bleed out. They said they needed to correct it by giving her lots of blood products and they gave her all kinds of strong antibiotics and blood and plasma. They were pumping so much stuff into her, I didn't know what to do. Her blood pressure was like 85/60 and then like 76/40 and it was getting lower and lower. They had her hooked up to so many IVs and then they told me that she was the sickest person they had in the ER. So many doctors and interns and students and nurses overcrowded my mom's room. I called my sister and told her what was going on and she came down to be with me and my daughter. They told us they would do all they could for my mom but that it didn't look good. I began to pray, my mom had always taught me to pray and give things over to god. As the night went on, they decided to put an IV in my moms neck, they said it was more direct and if and when she went to surgery it would be better to have that in place. They made us leave the room and they had like 10 people in there with there machines and cameras and equipment to help guide them where to put the IV at. I had never gone through this before and I was so scared but I was keeping my faith. One doctor wanted to talk to me and my sister alone and I didn't want to hear him telling me anything negative. He asked us a lot of questions concerning my mom's health and history. He then told us that she was in acute renal failure and that her colon was damaged where the abcess bursts and fecal was being released into her abdomen. This is the last thing I wanted to hear. I asked him if they could fix it, he said they would do all they could but that their main focus was trying to bring her INR levels down because they were dangerously high. She was also anemic and that is why she was so weak, her blood level was extremely low. They were continuously giving her blood products, antibiotics and plasma. My sister decided to take my daughter home with her. I told her I would call her when I knew when they were going to do surgery. The surgeon had spoken to us and said that it was a good chance, and that operating was her only chance and once her blood level was corrected that they would go in and repair the damage. I felt some what relieved but as the night went on she was in a fight for her life. The main doctor working on my mom's case came and told me that her breathing was not getting any better and that he needed to put her to sleep so he could intubate her and put a breathing tube down her throat. He said it would be good to have anyways so that she would be ready when they went to surgery. There was nothing I could do except walk out of the room and wait. I continued to pray and wait and pray and wait. Hours went by and I would walk and peek inside the room and see my mom's blood pressure increasing some, this gave me hope but then the doctor would come and tell me it wasn't looking like she was improving and that we needed to prepare that she might not make it through the night. i couldn't believe what he was telling me. I called my sister and my brother and told them , they were praying as well. I didn't know who to listen to, one doctor is telling me it's hopeless and the surgeon is telling me it's a good chance she would be okay once taken to surgery. I sat in the hall because they wouldn't let me back in and they stayed with her at all times, monitoring her and giving her medicine and all the blood and stuff back to back. Then they came out in the hall and told me they were ready to take her to surgery. They said she might not hear you but you can still talk to her. I walked up to her lying there, so still and I told her how much I loved her and i told her to fight and that we would do it togther and that I would be here when she woke up and that I was not leaving her. The surgeon put me in the OR waiting room. I was all alone in there by myself. I waited and waited and only 20 mins went by and a security guard told me there was a cafe there and if I wanted to go grab a cup of coffee that I could. I went downstairs and got the coffee, as soon as I reached the OR floor I saw the surgeon standing there, he walked over to me and he said, I'm sorry but your mom's heart stopped during surgery and we revived her but then it stopped again and he said I don't we can get it back. My whole world just crumbled, I began screaming and crying and I fell to the floor. I was just askig God why. Why is this happening? This security lady came over to comfort me and began telling me how sorry she was and asked me if I had any family I could call. I called my sister and told her and she said she was on her way down. She lived in another city about 45 mins away. I was still on the ground just broken and this lady began to tell me that God would help me and give me the strength to go on. She asked me if I had any children, I told her I had a daughter, and she told me I needed to be strong for her. I wasn't trying to hear all that. My whole world was ripped right from under me. A couple of doctors and this lady helped me off the floor and the surgeon that came out , came out again and told me they would take me back to see her. They brought out a wheelchair and wheeled me back there and when they opened the door, my god I just saw them on top of her doing chest compressions and I was just screaming and then the surgeon is telling me I need to make a decision because everytime they do that, they are hurting her and he said, you don't want her to suffer anymore. I was just waiting on my sister4. I didn't want to make that call but I didn't want them pounding her chest in so I told them to stop. It killed in me inside. They wheeled me over to her and I just cried. My mom was only 60 years old and she had her whole life ahead of her and I don't understand why any of this happened. She was such a beautiful person and she had been a christian for 33 years. SHe loved the lord and she raised me and my siblings up in the church. I couldn't believe that she was gone because I had prayed and prayed and I just knew that God would spare her life. I lost my real father at the age of 16 and even then I didn't know him. I always had my mom and she remarried when I was 11 years old. She had been married for 19 years and my step father passed away in July of 2008. He was a sickly person and she took care of him and nursed him for all those years. He had diabetes, high blood pressure, prostate cancer, he was on dialysis for kidney failure, he had a four by pass surgery and he was in and out of the hospitals for years. She suffered so much seeing him suffer and taking care of him, he took what little strength she had. But because he was her husband she did all she could to help him and she loved him so much. So now all remains is just me and my siblings. It's hard because my mom was my best friend. I can't remember a time when she wasn't around. We did everything together and we lived together for years and I took care of her. I wanted so bad for her to be okay and to make it through surgery, I had been taught for years about the love of Jesus and I couldn't understand what he chose to take her away from her children and grandchildren. We had a two bedroom apartment and she had her room and my daughter and I shared a room. After she died, I went home that morning with my sister and I stayed over there for the remainder of the day. The whole day was just hurting, crying and calling the rest of the family. I felt so bad because my youngest brother, say youngest because he is the youngest of my 3 brothers, even though they are all older than me. He came to the hospital to see my mom but he thought she was still alive and the doctors didn't tell him, they let him in the room and she was already covered up and he walked in and was like, it's over ?? he couldn't believe it , he just broke down. One of the nurses that was in the OR called my sister and he was crying, apologizing to us because he thought my brother already knew. He told us how sorry he was. Now my family is broken, my mom was the rock that held us all together. We didn't have money growing up, we didn't have a lot of the finer things in life but we had love. She loved us like no one could. She did it all for her children and most importantly she taught us about God. She lived her life for Jesus, she would pray on a regular basis, read her bible daily, go to church often as she could and when things looked hopeless she took them to god in prayer. She prayed not only for her children, grandchildren and siblings but for people all over the world, she would pray for all the countries and for the sick and homeless and anyone she could pray for. She gave over the years endlessly to Trinity Broadcasting Network, Feed the children, CBN, David Terrell Ministries, Boys Town, Children International, Food For All and to so many others. Month after month, year after year she was giving. She taught us how to give and there were times when we would just make food and take it to the park to give to the homeless, bottled water, sandwiches, noodles, chicken or whatever we could. She would never turn down a person needing help or asking for spare change, she would give freely. She would tell me all the time, it's better to give than to receive and that god would bless me. So I began giving as well, I would call and donate and try to help whenever I could. My mom was also a big giver to the goodwill. Over the years we gave so much, and everytime they would ask if we wanted a donation paper for a tax write off she would say no. she didn't want that, she was giving freely and she didn't want anything in return. That's who she was, she was the person who would mentor you and talk to you about Jesus and how over the years he brought her and our family through so many trials and tribulations. SHe praised god for everything, for the good times and the bad. She used to always tell me to be thankful and to praise god. Now there were times when i was suffering so much and I didn't want to praise god, I wanted god to help me and at the time it seemed like he wasn't. My mom was always there to tell me baby, hold on.. give your burdens over to the lord and he will help you and supply all your needs. I realized that he did just that. I remember when she had surgery for the cancer and she was wondering why god allowed her to come down with that. It was hard for her because her faith was shaken then. She couldn't believe after she was faithful to him for so many years that he would allow her to suffer so horribly and there my sister and I were telling her that she would be okay, that God loved her still and he had not forsaken her and that he would bring her through this. She was so discouraged at the time but we would not let up. She couldn't believe this was her children mentoring and encouragiing her as she had done for us over the years. She told me, she was happy and she felt relieved that her living and everything she had taught us was not in vain. She was thankful to God that we were listening to her and by example we followed her footsteps. She began to get better and we thought she would be okay. My mom was a pure Christian, she didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, didn't curse. She would make you turn the tv channel if you were watching something that cursed. She loved her cowboys though. Her favorites were Bonanza, The rifle man, High Chapparal, Wagon Train, The Virginian and so many others. She also loved the old shows, the clean shows, the original dennis the menace, columbo, family affair, petticoat junction, I married joan, hawai five o, the streets of san francisco, i spy, murder she wrote, in the heat of the night, matlock, the big vally, dr quinn, little house on the prairie, family ties, good times, 227, what's happening, the jeffersons, the brady bunch and so many others. Her favorite game shows were The price is right, deal or no deal, let's make a deal, the newlywed game, match game and who wants to be a millionaire. I loved spending time with my mom, she was someone I could always talk to and she would never judge me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. She taught me how to carry myself as a lady and she taught me how to stand up for myself and I owe her so much. I felt like I let her down that night she was in the hospital and I told her she would be okay and that I would be waiting for her when she woke up but she never woke up. I felt that made me a liar. I had been taking care of my mom for months and I was preparing her meals, giving her medications on schedule and was taking her to her appointments and running errands for her. My mom had been weak for so long because before she found out she had cancer she was bleeding perfusely having vaginal bleeding and they made her very anemic. Before surgery she had 4 transfusions and then after surgery she had 2 more. She never got all her strength back and after she had the first surgery, she was too weak that they sent her to Ballard Rehabilitation and they were working on getting her strength back and getting her up and walking. She did so much better when she was in there and when she came home, they sent out a home health nurse, a physcialy therapist and an occupational therapist. They began doing exercises with her and the physical therapist thought it would benefit my mom to have some help with getting around. So she ordered her an walker , the kind that had a seat on it, she ordered her a wheel chair, a raised toilet seat with the rails and a shower chair and shower bench. So when my mom started walking more better she was using her walker all the time, it was helping her because she had the support to keep her from falling and when she got tired , she could just sit down. I did all I could to take care of her, on a daily basis. She was not strong enough to shower herself, so I bought the shower hose and I began to shower her daily, dress her and do everything for her but I loved her so much and I didn't care what I had to do, she was my mom. There were days when she thought she was a burden to me and she would tell me, that I work to hard and that she was sorry she was not able to do things for herself and i would immediately tell her to stop talking like that. I would tell her, she was my mom, I loved her and wanted to look after her and that she wasn't a burden on me. That she took care of me when I was little and over the years and now it was my turn to take care of her. She told me a couple weeks before she passed away , you said, you really stood by your mom, when all the others went on their way. you stood by your mom. She said, I don't know what I would have done with out you. She said I don't know how I would have made it and she said god is really going to bless you and he will remember everything you did for your mother. She told me how special I was and now that she is gone , I remember everything she ever told me. It has been so hard, going through all her things and seeing all the cards and letters she gave me over the years. Everybody keeps telling me it will get better but I don't see that happening. I can't go one day without crying for missing her so much. I am grateful because she is not in any more pain but I am hurting so badly without her. I have a big sister but we have never been that close, she seems to want to spend more time with me now but nobody could ever feel that empty space inside my heart for my mother. I recently moved in with my brother and I want so desperately for me and my daughter to be able to get a place of our own. It costs so much to pay for first and last months rent and I have this old 1994 car that has been giving me so much trouble and I am barely scraping along , just trying to make it. I would appreciate any help I am given. If anyone can find it in their heart to help me and my daughter move out and get our own place or simply help us with the day to day necessities, it would be greatly appreciated.

My daughter and I are in need of finding a place of our own. These past couple months have been extremely hard because of the death of my mother. We were all living together and my mom was splitting the rent with me and I was working to take care of her. She was sick with Cancer and she had the operation and we all thought she was going to be okay. She did not recover like we expected and she ended up going in a Rehabilitation Center and we visited her often until she came home. I am the youngest of her children. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister and we are called the Berry 5. We were allways known as the Berry Family from the time we were little. My mom started to do better and we were so happy to have her home. It came time for her to Start Chemotherapy and Radiation. She was scared but I and my sister talked her into it because we knew the doctors had told us that she needed it because the cancer had spread to her lymp nodes and when they did the surgery they were not able to get everything. My mom had done one week of Radiation and she went in for one session of Chemo. The same day she had Chemo she seemed fine and then 2 days later she was having fevers, throwing up and so extremely weak. I thought it was because of the Chemo because that is what was explained to us. My concern was she couldn't keep anything down. I needed to give her medication for her Diabetes and High Blood Pressure but everytime I gave her anything, it all came up and so I was so scared because her blood sugar was high and I didn't want it to get any higher. She began to complain of stomach pain and I thought it was another side effect of the Chemo. For a couple days of her vomiting and having diarrhea, I was able to get some fluids down her and it seemed to stay. Little by little we both thought she was doing better. Her strength was not there though, it was difficult for her to even get up to go to the bathroom. The following day she continued to vomit and I was scared so I told her she needed to go to the hospital, because I felt that they could help her more. They could give her medications through an IV and they could find out why she was so weak and everything. She was scared and did not want to go but I convinced her. The ambulance came and took her to the hospital. I tried to follow her but I had to pick up my 11 year old daughter from school. I did go and they would not let me go back right away. I told them my mom had been brought in and they told me she wasn't checked in yet. About 20 minutes passed and I went back up to the window and they told me they would see if the doctor would let me back there and they were saying my daughter couldn't come back there because she wasn't 14, I told them she is only 11 years old and I'm not leaving her in the waiting room with strangers and that she was coming back there with me. They finally let us in and we went back to see my mom. I couldn't believe they had her hooked up to so many machines and she was on morphine and so out of it. I walked up to her and I said Ma, I'm here and she turned and looked at me. She was happy to see me, but then she told me that they told her, they found blood in her stools. I told her it was probably just do to her Hemorrhoids. but she said they told her it was positive for something. I asked her for what and she didn't know. I began looking for the doctor so I could ask questions but he wasn't around and everyone I talked to told me the doctor would be in soon to go over my mom's condition. I stayed with my mom, just holding her hand, telling her I loved her and that she was going to be okay. They came in to take her to have an ultrasound and my daughter and I waited. The doctor finally came in and told me that my mom had an abcess in her stomach that had burst. I said what are you talking about? He said that she had a condition called peridonitis and that the abcess burst and was releasing all this poison inside her stomach and her blood pressure was dropping dramatically. He then told me it was too dangerous for them to operate at that time because her INR level to to high. My mom had been taking Cumadin for a blood clot that she previously had and the cumadin made her INR level extremely high and her blood was not clotting so they said if they did surgery, she would bleed out. They said they needed to correct it by giving her lots of blood products and they gave her all kinds of strong antibiotics and blood and plasma. They were pumping so much stuff into her, I didn't know what to do. Her blood pressure was like 85/60 and then like 76/40 and it was getting lower and lower. They had her hooked up to so many IVs and then they told me that she was the sickest person they had in the ER. So many doctors and interns and students and nurses overcrowded my mom's room. I called my sister and told her what was going on and she came down to be with me and my daughter. They told us they would do all they could for my mom but that it didn't look good. I began to pray, my mom had always taught me to pray and give things over to god. As the night went on, they decided to put an IV in my moms neck, they said it was more direct and if and when she went to surgery it would be better to have that in place. They made us leave the room and they had like 10 people in there with there machines and cameras and equipment to help guide them where to put the IV at. I had never gone through this before and I was so scared but I was keeping my faith. One doctor wanted to talk to me and my sister alone and I didn't want to hear him telling me anything negative. He asked us a lot of questions concerning my mom's health and history. He then told us that she was in acute renal failure and that her colon was damaged where the abcess bursts and fecal was being released into her abdomen. This is the last thing I wanted to hear. I asked him if they could fix it, he said they would do all they could but that their main focus was trying to bring her INR levels down because they were dangerously high. She was also anemic and that is why she was so weak, her blood level was extremely low. They were continuously giving her blood products, antibiotics and plasma. My sister decided to take my daughter home with her. I told her I would call her when I knew when they were going to do surgery. The surgeon had spoken to us and said that it was a good chance, and that operating was her only chance and once her blood level was corrected that they would go in and repair the damage. I felt some what relieved but as the night went on she was in a fight for her life. The main doctor working on my mom's case came and told me that her breathing was not getting any better and that he needed to put her to sleep so he could intubate her and put a breathing tube down her throat. He said it would be good to have anyways so that she would be ready when they went to surgery. There was nothing I could do except walk out of the room and wait. I continued to pray and wait and pray and wait. Hours went by and I would walk and peek inside the room and see my mom's blood pressure increasing some, this gave me hope but then the doctor would come and tell me it wasn't looking like she was improving and that we needed to prepare that she might not make it through the night. i couldn't believe what he was telling me. I called my sister and my brother and told them , they were praying as well. I didn't know who to listen to, one doctor is telling me it's hopeless and the surgeon is telling me it's a good chance she would be okay once taken to surgery. I sat in the hall because they wouldn't let me back in and they stayed with her at all times, monitoring her and giving her medicine and all the blood and stuff back to back. Then they came out in the hall and told me they were ready to take her to surgery. They said she might not hear you but you can still talk to her. I walked up to her lying there, so still and I told her how much I loved her and i told her to fight and that we would do it togther and that I would be here when she woke up and that I was not leaving her. The surgeon put me in the OR waiting room. I was all alone in there by myself. I waited and waited and only 20 mins went by and a security guard told me there was a cafe there and if I wanted to go grab a cup of coffee that I could. I went downstairs and got the coffee, as soon as I reached the OR floor I saw the surgeon standing there, he walked over to me and he said, I'm sorry but your mom's heart stopped during surgery and we revived her but then it stopped again and he said I don't we can get it back. My whole world just crumbled, I began screaming and crying and I fell to the floor. I was just askig God why. Why is this happening? This security lady came over to comfort me and began telling me how sorry she was and asked me if I had any family I could call. I called my sister and told her and she said she was on her way down. She lived in another city about 45 mins away. I was still on the ground just broken and this lady began to tell me that God would help me and give me the strength to go on. She asked me if I had any children, I told her I had a daughter, and she told me I needed to be strong for her. I wasn't trying to hear all that. My whole world was ripped right from under me. A couple of doctors and this lady helped me off the floor and the surgeon that came out , came out again and told me they would take me back to see her. They brought out a wheelchair and wheeled me back there and when they opened the door, my god I just saw them on top of her doing chest compressions and I was just screaming and then the surgeon is telling me I need to make a decision because everytime they do that, they are hurting her and he said, you don't want her to suffer anymore. I was just waiting on my sister4. I didn't want to make that call but I didn't want them pounding her chest in so I told them to stop. It killed in me inside. They wheeled me over to her and I just cried. My mom was only 60 years old and she had her whole life ahead of her and I don't understand why any of this happened. She was such a beautiful person and she had been a christian for 33 years. SHe loved the lord and she raised me and my siblings up in the church. I couldn't believe that she was gone because I had prayed and prayed and I just knew that God would spare her life. I lost my real father at the age of 16 and even then I didn't know him. I always had my mom and she remarried when I was 11 years old. She had been married for 19 years and my step father passed away in July of 2008. He was a sickly person and she took care of him and nursed him for all those years. He had diabetes, high blood pressure, prostate cancer, he was on dialysis for kidney failure, he had a four by pass surgery and he was in and out of the hospitals for years. She suffered so much seeing him suffer and taking care of him, he took what little strength she had. But because he was her husband she did all she could to help him and she loved him so much. So now all remains is just me and my siblings. It's hard because my mom was my best friend. I can't remember a time when she wasn't around. We did everything together and we lived together for years and I took care of her. I wanted so bad for her to be okay and to make it through surgery, I had been taught for years about the love of Jesus and I couldn't understand what he chose to take her away from her children and grandchildren. We had a two bedroom apartment and she had her room and my daughter and I shared a room. After she died, I went home that morning with my sister and I stayed over there for the remainder of the day. The whole day was just hurting, crying and calling the rest of the family. I felt so bad because my youngest brother, say youngest because he is the youngest of my 3 brothers, even though they are all older than me. He came to the hospital to see my mom but he thought she was still alive and the doctors didn't tell him, they let him in the room and she was already covered up and he walked in and was like, it's over ?? he couldn't believe it , he just broke down. One of the nurses that was in the OR called my sister and he was crying, apologizing to us because he thought my brother already knew. He told us how sorry he was. Now my family is broken, my mom was the rock that held us all together. We didn't have money growing up, we didn't have a lot of the finer things in life but we had love. She loved us like no one could. She did it all for her children and most importantly she taught us about God. She lived her life for Jesus, she would pray on a regular basis, read her bible daily, go to church often as she could and when things looked hopeless she took them to god in prayer. She prayed not only for her children, grandchildren and siblings but for people all over the world, she would pray for all the countries and for the sick and homeless and anyone she could pray for. She gave over the years endlessly to Trinity Broadcasting Network, Feed the children, CBN, David Terrell Ministries, Boys Town, Children International, Food For All and to so many others. Month after month, year after year she was giving. She taught us how to give and there were times when we would just make food and take it to the park to give to the homeless, bottled water, sandwiches, noodles, chicken or whatever we could. She would never turn down a person needing help or asking for spare change, she would give freely. She would tell me all the time, it's better to give than to receive and that god would bless me. So I began giving as well, I would call and donate and try to help whenever I could. My mom was also a big giver to the goodwill. Over the years we gave so much, and everytime they would ask if we wanted a donation paper for a tax write off she would say no. she didn't want that, she was giving freely and she didn't want anything in return. That's who she was, she was the person who would mentor you and talk to you about Jesus and how over the years he brought her and our family through so many trials and tribulations. SHe praised god for everything, for the good times and the bad. She used to always tell me to be thankful and to praise god. Now there were times when i was suffering so much and I didn't want to praise god, I wanted god to help me and at the time it seemed like he wasn't. My mom was always there to tell me baby, hold on.. give your burdens over to the lord and he will help you and supply all your needs. I realized that he did just that. I remember when she had surgery for the cancer and she was wondering why god allowed her to come down with that. It was hard for her because her faith was shaken then. She couldn't believe after she was faithful to him for so many years that he would allow her to suffer so horribly and there my sister and I were telling her that she would be okay, that God loved her still and he had not forsaken her and that he would bring her through this. She was so discouraged at the time but we would not let up. She couldn't believe this was her children mentoring and encouragiing her as she had done for us over the years. She told me, she was happy and she felt relieved that her living and everything she had taught us was not in vain. She was thankful to God that we were listening to her and by example we followed her footsteps. She began to get better and we thought she would be okay. My mom was a pure Christian, she didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, didn't curse. She would make you turn the tv channel if you were watching something that cursed. She loved her cowboys though. Her favorites were Bonanza, The rifle man, High Chapparal, Wagon Train, The Virginian and so many others. She also loved the old shows, the clean shows, the original dennis the menace, columbo, family affair, petticoat junction, I married joan, hawai five o, the streets of san francisco, i spy, murder she wrote, in the heat of the night, matlock, the big vally, dr quinn, little house on the prairie, family ties, good times, 227, what's happening, the jeffersons, the brady bunch and so many others. Her favorite game shows were The price is right, deal or no deal, let's make a deal, the newlywed game, match game and who wants to be a millionaire. I loved spending time with my mom, she was someone I could always talk to and she would never judge me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. She taught me how to carry myself as a lady and she taught me how to stand up for myself and I owe her so much. I felt like I let her down that night she was in the hospital and I told her she would be okay and that I would be waiting for her when she woke up but she never woke up. I felt that made me a liar. I had been taking care of my mom for months and I was preparing her meals, giving her medications on schedule and was taking her to her appointments and running errands for her. My mom had been weak for so long because before she found out she had cancer she was bleeding perfusely having vaginal bleeding and they made her very anemic. Before surgery she had 4 transfusions and then after surgery she had 2 more. She never got all her strength back and after she had the first surgery, she was too weak that they sent her to Ballard Rehabilitation and they were working on getting her strength back and getting her up and walking. She did so much better when she was in there and when she came home, they sent out a home health nurse, a physcialy therapist and an occupational therapist. They began doing exercises with her and the physical therapist thought it would benefit my mom to have some help with getting around. So she ordered her an walker , the kind that had a seat on it, she ordered her a wheel chair, a raised toilet seat with the rails and a shower chair and shower bench. So when my mom started walking more better she was using her walker all the time, it was helping her because she had the support to keep her from falling and when she got tired , she could just sit down. I did all I could to take care of her, on a daily basis. She was not strong enough to shower herself, so I bought the shower hose and I began to shower her daily, dress her and do everything for her but I loved her so much and I didn't care what I had to do, she was my mom. There were days when she thought she was a burden to me and she would tell me, that I work to hard and that she was sorry she was not able to do things for herself and i would immediately tell her to stop talking like that. I would tell her, she was my mom, I loved her and wanted to look after her and that she wasn't a burden on me. That she took care of me when I was little and over the years and now it was my turn to take care of her. She told me a couple weeks before she passed away , you said, you really stood by your mom, when all the others went on their way. you stood by your mom. She said, I don't know what I would have done with out you. She said I don't know how I would have made it and she said god is really going to bless you and he will remember everything you did for your mother. She told me how special I was and now that she is gone , I remember everything she ever told me. It has been so hard, going through all her things and seeing all the cards and letters she gave me over the years. Everybody keeps telling me it will get better but I don't see that happening. I can't go one day without crying for missing her so much. I am grateful because she is not in any more pain but I am hurting so badly without her. I have a big sister but we have never been that close, she seems to want to spend more time with me now but nobody could ever feel that empty space inside my heart for my mother. I recently moved in with my brother and I want so desperately for me and my daughter to be able to get a place of our own. It costs so much to pay for first and last months rent and I have this old 1994 car that has been giving me so much trouble and I am barely scraping along , just trying to make it. I would appreciate any help I am given. If anyone can find it in their heart to help me and my daughter move out and get our own place or simply help us with the day to day necessities, it would be greatly appreciated.

I will make a blog (2 or 3 articles) for you or set up a 2 or 3 page website for a donation of $5.00. I need to raise money for the dogs and to buy land and to move. We can not stay where we are at. The website will be on a free site. You can send me the information you want and color scheme. There are also free social networks where you can have your own social network. For larger websites or blog articles would require larger donations. Social network set up donations of $10.00.

https://www.wepay.com/donations/donate-money-get-a-website-or-blog

http://doggiesinneed.blogspot.com/
http://whydidimarrythisguy.blogspot.com/
http://manifestingmynewreality.blogspot.com/

I developed perhaps the ultimate in 'sustainability' based perma culture farming with almost no tilling required here in Oregon. I am not big on all the sustainability jargon but what I have done is created a kind of natural farm factory that I would like to see reproduced on a larger level. It produces high carbohydrate value food with almost no irregation although some was required to get it started and revolves around an ancient plant speices friend of man-kind the Chestnut Tree. Believe it or not chestnut trees can produce upto 2,000 lbs each of nuts a year if spaced at least 40 feet apart. There is a story and a book on how to do what has been discovered here on a small farm at a very much larger and perhaps international basis. The economy and use of the Chestnut is a bit of a harder sell than wheat , rice or corn. It is the lowest fat tree nut in existence. It is also glutten free. The farm still has nuts for sale from last year thanks to their being no organized major distribution network for our product like other basic crops and growing competition (all good for the long run) Money or new land to develop in the Pacfic Northwest is sought after. We have many nuts to plant and many seedlings ready to transplant and we have other types of plants that play a role in the development. Inexpensive cleared land that needs to be replanted in the Northwest is sought after for this purpose. Land that is inexpensive and not suitable for vinyards or other uses other than slow timber growth would be perfect but at an affordible price please if possible. The amazing thing about chestnut trees is their tap roots can allow them to self irregate in places where it seems there is no water to resourse at all at the surface. donations accepted as well as land donations/ participation. Chestnut trees also have value as wood and timber as a hard wood. In some areas once timber is cut down in the Northwest most of the value of the land is gone which would be a perfect time for us to go in and buy iti to reforest it with an eye to new permaculture farming. please help if you can.

Hi! I am currently a single mother of 2 preschool children. I left their father after 5 years of abuse. He was an alcoholic and had become addicted to meth. He signed our children away to his mother. My children were returned to me and I left state to be with my family. My family was unable to help me and sent me to a 3rd state shelter. That shelter was unable to help me due to such extreme needs. My 2 year old has special needs such as celiac disease, hearing impairment, developmental delays, and possible down syndrome. This adds to my stress greatly. I am currently attending school for my Bachelors in Science in Information Technology with a concentration Network Management. I am trying to get on my feet and keep getting knocked down. I need a car, home, and job. If you know of any city or town that would be able to help me get on my feet, please post here.

My name is Jennifer and I am a volunteer with ETSN.
Some of our projects include ..
a low cost vet clinic, pet food pantry, short term foster network, and a non profit center for adoptions, training, grooming, etc....

Some of the things we are in need of for our clinic are
copying/printing services,
office supplies, such as postage stamps, copy paper--white and colors--as well as laser toner cartridge Canon 104, large paper clips, pens, clipboards, display holders
Gas cards, gas cards, gas cards!
Travel carriers- small, medium, or large
Did I mention GAS CARDS?
Items we can sell or raffle off--hand-made or not
Purina or Pedigree pet foods
Equipment and supplies for our low-income veterinary clinic
You don't have to send money, but money helps too.
Please don't send money to me, go to the website for info on donations.

FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE GO TO etnspay-neuter.org

Thank you and God Bless You for your time.

I DON'T NEED TO TOUCH A DIME. I REPEAT, I DON'T NEED TO TOUCH A DIME. (JUST GIVE ME ACCESS TO THE PRODUCT)

CURRENTLY I ONLY NEED USD$100. TO BUY 'WEB CONTENT EXTRACTOR' (IT IS A COPY AND PASTE SOFTWARE). IT WILL GIVE ME THE MANPOWER OF MANY MEN.

I AM FROM THE MOST INSIGNIFICANT REGION IN WORLD ECONOMICS, THE CARIBBEAN. EVEN MORE SAD IS THE FACT THAT WE DON'T BELIEVE IN OURSELF. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON EVERY COUNTRY IN THE CARIBBEAN CAN'T BE A LITTLE SINGAPORE. AS SHOULD BE OBVIOUS BY NOW, I REALLY BELIEVE IN MYSELF (DESPITE MY IMPOVERISHED SITUATION) AND I AM GOING TO BREAK THIS STATUS QUO. I AM 100% SURE I WILL BE VERY SUCCESSFUL AND WILL HAVE ROUGHLY

300,000 MEMBERS BY 2013.


Please visit: www.caribbeanbusinessandcommerce.com　



Total Caribbean Internet Population is 11,660,570.



Total World Internet Population is 2,095,006,005. (Source: Internet World Stats)



Our main target, Total Business Players with Caribbean Interest (unparallel niche). Of that we expect 300,000 members by period ending 2013.



Our main ways to attract and keep this audience:

1. Business Directory (local business network, importers network; government contracts; executive vacancies; business cupid; capital network; and sponsorship network.)

2. Caribbean and International Business News,

3. Business Blogs,

4. Business Forums.



PLEASE STUDY US WELL?



Singapore, Hong Kong and Macau editions NEXT!



19 complimentary sites per edition. Subdomains free for gold and platinum members.



http://www.caribbeanbusinessandcommerce.com/about-us.html
http://www.caribbeanbusinessandcommerce.com/contact-us.html



IF YOU DECIDE TO MAKE A DIRECT DONATION, CLICK THE HEART ON MY WEBSITE AND PROCEED. YOU WILL BE ACKNOWLEDGED IN MY SUCCESS STORY WHICH WILL BE PUBLISHED EVERY WAY POSSIBLE (UNLESS YOU INSIST NOT TOO). YOUR KINDNESS WILL BE GREATLY APPRECIATED. www.caribbeanbusinessandcommerce.com


THANKS FOR YOUR TIME!

I DON'T NEED TO TOUCH A DIME. I REPEAT, I DON'T NEED TO TOUCH A DIME. (JUST GIVE ME ACCESS TO THE PRODUCT)

CURRENTLY I ONLY NEED USD$100. TO BUY 'WEB CONTENT EXTRACTOR' (IT IS A COPY AND PASTE SOFTWARE). IT WILL GIVE ME THE MANPOWER OF MANY MEN.

I AM FROM THE MOST INSIGNIFICANT REGION IN WORLD ECONOMICS, THE CARIBBEAN. EVEN MORE SAD IS THE FACT THAT WE DON'T BELIEVE IN OURSELF. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON EVERY COUNTRY IN THE CARIBBEAN CAN'T BE A LITTLE SINGAPORE. AS SHOULD BE OBVIOUS BY NOW, I REALLY BELIEVE IN MYSELF (DESPITE MY IMPOVERISHED SITUATION) AND I AM GOING TO BREAK THIS STATUS QUO. I AM 100% SURE I WILL BE VERY SUCCESSFUL AND WILL HAVE ROUGHLY

300,000 MEMBERS BY 2013.


Please visit: www.caribbeanbusinessandcommerce.com　



Total Caribbean Internet Population is 11,660,570.



Total World Internet Population is 2,095,006,005. (Source: Internet World Stats)



Our main target, Total Business Players with Caribbean Interest (unparallel niche). Of that we expect 300,000 members by period ending 2013.



Our main ways to attract and keep this audience:

1. Business Directory (local business network, importers network; government contracts; executive vacancies; business cupid; capital network; and sponsorship network.)

2. Caribbean and International Business News,

3. Business Blogs,

4. Business Forums.



PLEASE STUDY US WELL?



Singapore, Hong Kong and Macau editions NEXT!



19 complimentary sites per edition. Subdomains free for gold and platinum members.



http://www.caribbeanbusinessandcommerce.com/about-us.html
http://www.caribbeanbusinessandcommerce.com/contact-us.html



IF YOU DECIDE TO MAKE A DIRECT DONATION, CLICK THE HEART ON MY WEBSITE AND PROCEED. YOU WILL BE ACKNOWLEDGED IN MY SUCCESS STORY WHICH WILL BE PUBLISHED EVERY WAY POSSIBLE (UNLESS YOU INSIST NOT TOO). YOUR KINDNESS WILL BE GREATLY APPRECIATED. www.caribbeanbusinessandcommerce.com


THANKS FOR YOUR TIME!

I have been laid off since October of 2009. The only work I've been able to find is temporary work which may last 1 day or a few weeks. I've exhausted unemployment insurance. I've been applying to at least 15 jobs a day, 7 days a week. I call my network of recruiters every week looking for work but it's hit or miss. I was contracted to a 10 month position that was cut to 3 months. I showed up for work on a Monday and was told that morning that the work flow had slowed down and I wasn't needed anymore. I'm ineligible for a new unemployment claim because I haven't met the income threshold due to not having worked for 2 fiscal quarters prior to my claim which I would have if I wasn't screwed out of the contract position. I was already 2 months late on my rent which is $700, due to unemployment checks not being enough to cover the rent and utilities that come to about $300. I choose between eating or having electricity some months. The loss of this job has royally screwed me! I'm now facing being 3 months behind. I'm facing imminent eviction. I've got no where to store my stuff and no way to pay for storage. I'm waiting for the decision for an interview I had Friday but that's not written in stone that I'll get it. I'm just trying to hold on to me and my son's place to live. ANY thing anyone could donate would be greatly appreciated. I've tried applying to gov't agencies for help but they seem to want you on the street already before they offer any help!

Hello!I never done anything like in my life before,but let's try this.I am 26 years old male who is broke and have awful job.All I want in my life is to finish college (computer science) and to work as network and systems admin.I have no money for that.I do not suffer for big money , but with this pay I receive now I will not be able to make a small house of my own in a 30 years.I need to work whole my life to earn $150k.And that kind of money is enough to build me a small house,buy a car, start and finish college,and startup my own bussiness.I don't want to do that with 70 years.I'm looking for someone to give me a job in IT and pay me school at least...or donate 1 dollar.If 150k people donate 1 dollar each my life is everything I want it to be.What is 1 dollar?

Good Evening, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Here's the situation We're in. Normally I wouldn't ask for help, but thanks to the Dear President, and our "wonderful" congress, cutting Veterans Administration Benefits, my pay has been cut to the point I don't know how I'm going to be able to support myself, or my family with our bills for the next two months. I am a full time student, ONE semester away from Graduating with my A.A.S. in Network Administration, and now, thanks to the changes to our Veterans Benefits, our pay for going to school full time will be significantly reduced for the next two months. Meanwhile my rent, power bill, phone bill, and Internet bill doesn't decrease. Once the 6th. Arrives, I face eviction, and I'm currently facing my phone and power getting shut off at any moment. Like I said, normally as a Veteran, I wouldn't ask for assistance, but there seems to be a lack of support from our "treasured" government, and with the economic status, churches, and other such places are running short on funds assisting the local communities. I have no other options, and don't know where to turn. Any bit of support will be HIGHLY appreciated from myself and my family.

Good Evening, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Here's the situation We're in. Normally I wouldn't ask for help, but thanks to the Dear President, and our "wonderful" congress, cutting Veterans Administration Benefits, my pay has been cut to the point I don't know how I'm going to be able to support myself, or my family with our bills for the next two months. I am a full time student, ONE semester away from Graduating with my A.A.S. in Network Administration, and now, thanks to the changes to our Veterans Benefits, our pay for going to school full time will be significantly reduced for the next two months. Meanwhile my rent, power bill, phone bill, and Internet bill doesn't decrease. Once the 6th. Arrives, I face eviction, and I'm currently facing my phone and power getting shut off at any moment. Like I said, normally as a Veteran, I wouldn't ask for assistance, but there seems to be a lack of support from our "treasured" government, and with the economic status, churches, and other such places are running short on funds assisting the local communities. I have no other options, and don't know where to turn. Any bit of support will be HIGHLY appreciated from myself and my family.

Good Evening, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Here's the situation We're in. Normally I wouldn't ask for help, but thanks to the Dear President, and our "wonderful" congress, cutting Veterans Administration Benefits, my pay has been cut to the point I don't know how I'm going to be able to support myself, or my family with our bills for the next two months. I am a full time student, ONE semester away from Graduating with my A.A.S. in Network Administration, and now, thanks to the changes to our Veterans Benefits, our pay for going to school full time will be significantly reduced for the next two months. Meanwhile my rent, power bill, phone bill, and Internet bill doesn't decrease. Once the 6th. Arrives, I face eviction, and I'm currently facing my phone and power getting shut off at any moment. Like I said, normally as a Veteran, I wouldn't ask for assistance, but there seems to be a lack of support from our "treasured" government, and with the economic status, churches, and other such places are running short on funds assisting the local communities. I have no other options, and don't know where to turn. Any bit of support will be HIGHLY appreciated from myself and my family.

Good Evening, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Here's the situation We're in. Normally I wouldn't ask for help, but thanks to the Dear President, and our "wonderful" congress, cutting Veterans Administration Benefits, my pay has been cut to the point I don't know how I'm going to be able to support myself, or my family with our bills for the next two months. I am a full time student, ONE semester away from Graduating with my A.A.S. in Network Administration, and now, thanks to the changes to our Veterans Benefits, our pay for going to school full time will be significantly reduced for the next two months. Meanwhile my rent, power bill, phone bill, and Internet bill doesn't decrease. Once the 6th. Arrives, I face eviction, and I'm currently facing my phone and power getting shut off at any moment. Like I said, normally as a Veteran, I wouldn't ask for assistance, but there seems to be a lack of support from our "treasured" government, and with the economic status, churches, and other such places are running short on funds assisting the local communities. I have no other options, and don't know where to turn. Any bit of support will be HIGHLY appreciated from myself and my family.

Good Evening, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Here's the situation We're in. Normally I wouldn't ask for help, but thanks to the Dear President, and our "wonderful" congress, cutting Veterans Administration Benefits, my pay has been cut to the point I don't know how I'm going to be able to support myself, or my family with our bills for the next two months. I am a full time student, ONE semester away from Graduating with my A.A.S. in Network Administration, and now, thanks to the changes to our Veterans Benefits, our pay for going to school full time will be significantly reduced for the next two months. Meanwhile my rent, power bill, phone bill, and Internet bill doesn't decrease. Once the 6th. Arrives, I face eviction, and I'm currently facing my phone and power getting shut off at any moment. Like I said, normally as a Veteran, I wouldn't ask for assistance, but there seems to be a lack of support from our "treasured" government, and with the economic status, churches, and other such places are running short on funds assisting the local communities. I have no other options, and don't know where to turn. Any bit of support will be HIGHLY appreciated from myself and my family.

Good Evening, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Here's the situation We're in. Normally I wouldn't ask for help, but thanks to the Dear President, and our "wonderful" congress, cutting Veterans Administration Benefits, my pay has been cut to the point I don't know how I'm going to be able to support myself, or my family with our bills for the next two months. I am a full time student, ONE semester away from Graduating with my A.A.S. in Network Administration, and now, thanks to the changes to our Veterans Benefits, our pay for going to school full time will be significantly reduced for the next two months. Meanwhile my rent, power bill, phone bill, and Internet bill doesn't decrease. Once the 6th. Arrives, I face eviction, and I'm currently facing my phone and power getting shut off at any moment. Like I said, normally as a Veteran, I wouldn't ask for assistance, but there seems to be a lack of support from our "treasured" government, and with the economic status, churches, and other such places are running short on funds assisting the local communities. I have no other options, and don't know where to turn. Any bit of support will be HIGHLY appreciated from myself and my family.

Without sufficient friends or family to rely on, a single person with special-needs pets needs your help in any amount. No steady work in spite of many interviews and diligent searching, multiple health issues, and lack of adequate support network have left this person in a desperate situation. Ten dollars will buy a bag of groceries. One hundred dollars will pay an electricity bill. Eight hundred dollars will help keep this person and the pets in their home. Eighty dollars will help keep communications open so this person can continue to look for work. Eighty-three dollars will buy prescription dry and canned pet food. Twenty dollars will pay for human prescriptions. Two hundred dollars will buy a warm winter coat that fits and which is suitable for job interviews. Five dollars will buy a thrift store garment in the person's current size (presentable clothes that fit are an issue). One hundred twenty dollars will buy a suit for a job interview. Sixty dollars will buy shoes that do not hurt and which are suitable for work. Thirty dollars will help pay for the laundromat for a couple of weeks. Fifteen dollars will buy an herbal supplement to help treat a life-threatening condition.

The financial situation for this person has become very dire due to lack of work. The person is applying for many types of jobs at any rate of pay. This is a skilled and educated individual who is eager to do any work of which the person is capabale. Any amount can help relieve the health-robbing pressure and burden on this person. Two hundred fifty dollars would allow the person to get a needed cleaning for the first time in over two years and to check on tooth pain and a possible jaw problem. Ten dollars will cover the required donation required to visit a low-income medical clinic. Twenty-five dollars will cover most urgent prescriptions for a month.

Two dollars will buy a little bit of fruit. Four hundred dollars will provide a vision exam and new glasses or a couple of pair of replacement lenses as this person is having difficulty seeing with the old glasses.

Please forgive the third person description. It is very hard to write this and just about impossible to use the word "I" in telling this story.

Even a tiny amount will help go for something necessary. No amount is too large or too small to be appreciated or put to practical use to help a very grateful person climb out of a very bad situation and create a more stable and secure life. Thank you again for reading.

Need $143 to help keep car insured and internet and phone working for job search. Even a few dollars will help. Policy and utilities are at risk of being canceled. Any amount received over the requested amount will go for other utilities. There is no one else in this household and no strong support network or agency that can help. Also facing medical challenges. If four people donate, that would be only $36 apiece.

Thank you.

Please consider sending even a dollar to help create a clothing fund for an out-of-work person who normally works in an office. Due to the stress of long-term unemployment (very little and very low-paying work in the past three years), weight has shot up from a Size 6/8 to a Size 14/16, XL. There is almost no business wear and very little casual wear that fits. Shoes are very worn and pinch. Bras do not fit and create pain as there is a breast tumor involved. No family or friend network exists that can help with these needs. The biggest need is a winter coat that will button that is suitable for wear with an interview suit (also a need).

Thank you. Bless you. I can make even $10 or $20 go a very long way.

I'm trying to get up donations, any amount to help out a friend that is losing her home after Christmas. I've contacted a few places to help, I've put up a webpage on my site and I've hit the social network sites as well as online friends to help.

She needs $5k to stop the bank from foreclosing. She's a good person & I don't want her family to be homeless after the Holidays. I have to do all I can to help her, I just can't give up and do nothing.
The page I made is at www.viviti.me/starrweaver/donation.html - if you want to know more go there. She doesn't have a Paypal account, so I'm collecting all the money for her. Also try not to use donation buttons, Paypal charges a fee for donations. Use send money and gift instead, then it won't take out the fees.

Also if you have a business, you can give gifts up to $20 for the Holidays and write it off on your taxes. Also for those trying to find work, if you can't get a job, create a business. Employ yourself, it isn't difficult & making an online business is less costly. Think about it and take a good look at what hobbies, skills & talents you have. Invest in yourself, check out some sites for freelance work or even fiverr.com to see what others are doing for $5.

Think of metal scrapping, recycle & get paid at scrap yards. Dead batteries can be taken in for money too. Think out of the box - brainstorm and come up with something you can do. It's better than nothing...right?

If you go to my aidpage.com site I've listed a bunch of resources. There are others that can help give more resources too. It's a supportive and helpful site to find information.

Please help if you can, She doesn't have much time left. Any amount would be a big help.

I am by default a substitute teacher, but am trying to use my new licenses to teach HS English. No interviews yet. It's been my third worst summer ever, as I'm stuck out here in my trailer/neighborhood 30 m. from buses, no gas money to swim,visit people, network, or look for jobs in person. Sure can't afford to move from my paid-for mobile and start paying rent, and couldn't sell the place when I tried. I would love some kind person to send me a few hundred dollars (or what-have-you) to get around.I could do a dragon drawing or pet portrait in colored pencil for you.I'm not sure how paypal works, and I'm on sketchy dial-up, so you would need to send it to Box 1501 Tijeras, NM 87059. Thanks.

My problem started in July 2010. I was involved in an auto accident. I rear-ended a woman, who in turn rear-ended the person in front of her. The reason it happened was that the person in front of me hit their gas and got over to an open spot in the lane to my left. This move was so fast I didn't have room to either side and I saw the reason that driver moved was the cars in front of him or her were at a dead stop. We were traveling uphill so I was unable to see past the car and I had no idea people were stopped. I had less than a second to hit my brakes. Luckily no body was injured.

Here is where the story gets ugly. My mom had paid my auto insurance but she lost her job so I started to pay the premiums. I told my insurance agent to automatically deduct the premium and I gave her my bank information. So I was under the impression I had insurance. I did not. The agent only charged me for one month's premium and never set up the automatic deduction. Great. But there seemed to be a silver lining...the two other vehicles involved in the accident drove away before the police arrived. I did not get a ticket, I was completely sober and cooperative, and the police were surprised two victims of an accident would just drive away. Both parties got all of my information, they drove away before I got theirs. At the time of the accident I wasn't worried because I thought I had insurance.
When I called my agent I was informed that my policy lapsed because I hadn't paid my monthly premium.

I was curious if the fact that both of these people drove away would take the heat off of me. The police thought this was possible, after all, how can they prove they didn't smash up their vehicles further after they drove away to get more insurance money?

It gets worse. I left my job a few years ago because I had a job all but promised to me in Denver. Obviously, I didn't get the job in Denver. Not sure why, I aced the interview. So with no steady income (I was used to making about 42k yearly) I held hope I'd land a good job and had no choice to but to survive on a credit card for food and gas. That good job never came along. I ended up working overnights as a nurse assistant in the mental health unit. I've been drowning in debt, I had to get a car from what some consider a predatory lending car lot. I lost the hospital job in April for 'misconduct' (I worked nights and someone reported that I was sleeping, I wasn't but they didn't believe me so now I don't qualify for unemployment.) So, no income to pay for that vehicle and it got repossessed. But the best part is I got a letter in January 2011 stating that I owe one of the parties involved in the accident around 5k. I don't have it. If I had the money I would write both of the drivers involved in that accident fat checks right now, but I simply do not have the resources. The letter from the state dept of transportation stated that my license would be suspended unless I came up with the money. So I called the agency, and from my conversation with the state employee it sounded like my case would be reviewed. Nope. A collection agency sent me a letter saying in total I owe nearly 35k for the two cars and my credit cards.

In February I was on my way to a friend's house and I was pulled over because my temp tags were expired. The officer ran my license and I was handcuffed and taken to jail. I have never been arrested, and my driving record is excellent. The officer even thought it was silly. Regardless, now I have a court date in early July and I have the public defender taking my case. He said I either need to pay $1000 fine, or spend a minimum of 2 days in jail. So it looks as if I will be in jail at least 2 days because I have no money. Being without a vehicle is no picnic. My job search is limited to places on a bus route close to my home in Kansas City. I have no friends or family with that kind of money. I am not a drug addict, or a criminal. My career tanked, and I've kept falling through the cracks. I stay positive and I love life, but the anxiety and absence of pride in my life are making me isolate more. I can't afford to do anything. Luckily my brother is letting me stay in a spare room at his place or I may be homeless. I am a hard worker, I have a bachelor's degree, and I am a pleasant person to work with. But I have no car, no money, horrible credit, and bleak job prospects. Please do not think I feel sorry for myself. I've made stupid decisions that got me where I am. I take responsibility for putting myself in situations where these things happened. And especially for not paying attention to my financial obligations (the insurance premium). That being said, all I can do is look forward and do the best I can to get back on my feet. At this moment I feel like a wet puppy who is trying unsuccessfully to jump out of the tub during a bath. I need help. I don't know who to turn to. I've wanted to volunteer at some places to meet people and network but without a vehicle and a suspended license I can't even volunteer at most places. Please, if anyone can help, contact me with suggestions. I desperately need to file for bankruptcy but that costs around 1,800.00 and I can't afford that.

I also have around 27k in student loan debt. That debt along with the approximately 35k in unsecured debt leaves me with a very large amount of money that I have no realistic chance of paying back. The student loans will not be affected if I file for bankruptcy. Which is fine. As a matter of pride and doing what is right I don't like that my debts can simply be written off, but that is seemingly my only option. I would love to volunteer for a charity of my debtor's choosing to start to contribute something, but that proposal often times ends up sounding like a mutated version of indentured servitude.

I apologize for the rambling. This is the first time I have ever written all of this down at once and I feel better.

Thank you for your time.

My ex man left us, me and our 4 children, 1½ year ago for a younger woman that he obviously wanted to share his life with.
Hel left us with the house, all bills and everything. The point is, he was very controlling and sometimes violent because of his addiction to alcohol. He never allowed me to work, to have a social network etc and that made me get a severe depression with panic syndrome. When he left, there was no chance on earth for me to save our house, to pay our bills and so on, so life for us at the moment is really really bad.
I just got a job 2 weeks ago, 3hrs/day, not much but at least it is a job but it is hard to get back on track again and we would really appriciate if there is someone out there that want to help us to get back to a more or less normal life again. What we need is about $50.000 and we could pay the loans on the house we lost, all bills, buy some clothes, maybe with some luck buy an old, cheap car and then start to live again.
Thanks for taking time to read this and we hope someone would like to help, no amount is to small, everything counts. Thanks once again and god bless you all.

Hello...

This has got to be the most humbling, humiliating experience ever. I just spent days creating a free website, not even knowing a site like this existed...Arrgghh!!!! Story of my life! Anyways, if you want the full gist of our story, please go to http://payitforwardtoday.webs.com. I'll try to be brief here. I figure if I'm going to ask total strangers for help, they have a right to know a little (or a lot!) about who they are helping. We are a family of 4 (plus our little Mini Daschund, who we'll call "Puppers" for the sake of privacy!) that have fallen on really hard times. We are not looking for hand outs; we are looking for a hand up! If you think it's not seriously earth shattering to realize that the best and only hope you have left is to air your dirty laundry to the world, and hope someone shows up with some detergent, then I really hope you never go through anything like this. I wouldn't wish our situation on my worst enemy on their worst day. It is truly soul crushing.

I am a wife and mother of 2 children, ages 9 and 21. Long and short of it, my oldest struggled A LOT. He was expelled from his school, and I forced him into the only other school that would take him, made him go every day until the time he got arrested. I picked up his diploma for him at his school, as he was in jail and couldn't go get it, but I am, to this day, glad that he has that diploma, and now, 4 years later, so is he. He was diagnosed as Bi-Polar while incarcerated, and mental can be so much tougher to deal with than physical. I'll always wish I had known the exact right point where his road changed to the one he travelled, and stopped it before it started. Now he is going to be a father himself, and all I can do is believe things will be ok (and wait anxiously to kiss all over my new Grandchild!!!!)

I got into trouble by with the IRS by filing taxes with my ex-husband for a couple of years. I didn't know any better, and though we were only married for a few years, and eventually had to part ways, his neglect to file or claim anything has haunted me for years. As I continued to work legitimately, his interest and penalties grew, and since the debt was considered uncollectible from him, the IRS opted to come after me. I was a single mother, unable to get child support, and losing my tax refunds to the IRS. When I reached 30, I met my current husband.

My husband has always been a hard worker, but he too has had his share of bad luck. He is a recovering alcoholic with 11 years of sobriety under his belt. His favorite catch phrase is "I'm the hardest working broke guy I know!", and it's so true. He is CONSTANTLY going; making phone calls, doing estimates, meeting with people to try to network and pick up more business. He does great work, and has had to really struggle to get his licenses, and maintain the insurances required to operate his business. He is in construction, and has had his own business (along with his partner) for about 5 years now. The past year has shown devastating loss. Basically, 9 out of 10 jobs have paid just enough to pay his 4 employees, and he and his partner end up taking home less than their employees. They are also having a hard time competing with "fly by night" construction companies who come in, promise the world for pennies on the dollar, and when they have problems a year later, the company is nowhere to be found. It's a constant battle to convince people that your workmanship and the warranty that backs it up, in addition to being a local contractor for 25+ years with a stellar reputation is worth it's weight in gold.

I am working at a really decent company now, and was thrilled to get my foot in the door. I wasn't there a month before the IRS decided to garnish my wages. Now, instead of the $500+ I would be taking home each week, I am bringing home a meager $123 per week. This has been our sole income for many weeks now, and after reviewing all of my paperwork, it appears the IRS feels I owe them in excess of $50,000!!!! This does NOT include the state taxes, which haven't caught up with me yet, but I'm sure they will. So, I have decided to stay working, even though unemployment would pay me more, because jobs are tough to come by. However, it's impossible trying to run a family by borrowing money from everyone we know, and no way to pay it back, because the money we bring in doesn't even pay the bills, the rent...it barely covers the groceries.

Can I add one more thing here? My husband, who's job is primarily getting up on a roof every day, was recently diagnosed with Vertigo. He can't drive right now, and even if jobs come in, he can't get on a roof anytime soon either. Reading through what I've written, I'm thinking to myself "I would SO think this is fake if I were reading it". I assure you, it's not. I'm not looking to bilk money from anyone, and I'm not promising anything to you in return. The only thing I AM promising is that you would honestly be helping a family in need. I know there are people worse off than us, and I thank GOD every day that I got to wake up in the morning, and that I have a family to love, and that loves me. I hope you never know how painful it is to tell your daughter that she can't go to gymnastics this time around because we don't have the money. I hope you never have to sleep on someones' couch with your child because your electricity is off, and you can't find anything valuable enough to pawn so you can pay it. I hope you never have to look in your husbands' eyes and see the pain and humiliation there because he feels he has failed your family. None of these things are things we asked to happen, but they all did. Could we have done anything differently? Sure. But who out there reading this right now has always chosen the right path? Who has NOT made errors along the way?

We are not looking to get rich. We are looking for a helping hand. We have always helped others when we have been able to, and are hoping there are others like us out there that feel the same. My primary goal is to collect enough to retain a tax attorney to help negotiate a settlement for me, so that I can finally contribute to my family, and take some pressure off of my husband. I am also hoping to pay off some utility bills we still owe, and March and Aprils' rent. That's it. Just looking to keep the little roof we rent over our heads. If we are able to get back on our feet, we'd like to pay it forward ourselves...one person, one family at a time.

Thanks for listening to the story of a stranger, and if you've got even a dollar or 2 to spare, we'd be really grateful. I'm sorry this is all over the map, but I'm not a writer, nor even a college grad. I'm a regular person fallen on hard times, and doing anything I can to get some help for my family.

Peace.

Please help, I am trying to get custody of my 6 year old son I have not been able to see in 3 years due to circumstances out of my control but I don't have a reliable car or my own place, I have been trying very hard to get both of these things and also pay off my debts but I just cant seem to make ends meet. I would like to be able to go before a judge and say that I am debt free, have my own apartment, my drivers licence, and a car that is safe and reliable. I don't have any family that I can ask for help I grew up in the foster care system with out any kind of a help network. Thank you for your help and God Bless you.