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My Rent
Posted by shonnieg on 2012-04-20 19:58:52
Help Us Start Over
Posted by openyourheart4me on 2012-04-14 13:58:58
Help Us Start Over
Posted by openyourheart4me on 2012-04-14 13:58:55
Will be evicted soon.
Posted by annafireist on 2012-04-11 00:58:53
Thank You,
Anna
A family in turmoil.
Posted by elbeecee on 2012-04-06 04:58:09
It wasn't long before she became gravely ill. In the summer of 2010 my mother had succumbed to kidney failure and had to be on kidney dialysis permanently. She had neglected to take care of herself while trying to take care of my father and their financial woes. Along with the financial woes, there were back taxes that were still owed and of course were impossible to pay, their house was falling apart--still is. By the end of Spring 2011, my mother got so ill and was on a ventilator at least 4 times in a 2 week period due to her lungs filling up with fluid. Finally it was discovered that she had endocarditis (infection in heart)that had ravaged one of her heart valves. This required open heart surgery and replacement of the defected valve. The endocarditis stemmed from an infected temporary dialysis catheter. She was in the hospital for over a month and a half or so. Needless to say she was confused, lost tons of weight, and lost the ability to walk or care for herself. She was placed in a nursing home for rehab, but several more stays in the hospital only made her fall several steps back on her rehab and she never has fully recovered. It was discovered that she also had a tumor on one of her kidneys and her kidney was removed in the Fall of 2011 and supposedly it was all contained and it was early stage renal (kidney) carcinoma (cancer). While my mother was in the hospital my father had trouble breathing and I took him to the hospital. It as discovered he was in kidney failure and they both ended up in the hospital at the same time. Now my father is on permanent kidney dialysis.
Now fast forward to present day April 6, 2012. My mother's dialysis shunt would not stop bleeding and she was taken to the emergency room. She also complained of right leg pain and ultimately she ended up with a CT angiogram. This test revealed she not only had some blockage in one of her arteries in her leg, but that she had metastatic cancer to her liver, lungs, and a site near her spleen. Of course we are devastated.
They have no money. The money they do get is always depleted as soon as they get it from Medicare. My mother's social security check went straight to the nursing home and still was not enough to cover her bill. My father would have to pay over $1,000 a month because Medicare would only pay for several weeks. Since she has been in the hospital now for almost 2 weeks, we have pulled her out of the nursing home because the expected us to pay over $180 A DAY to keep her spot at the nursing home.
Now we are faced with a surgery to fix her leg, a plan for cancer treatment, and no suitable place for my mother to live. Their current home is in shambles and I mean SHAMBLES. Roof leaks and is falling apart. I assume there is some black mold lingering. No central air or heat as their units are broke. Plus large amounts of stuff--my mother also was a hoarder. The house is disgusting and it has been hard to clean up with out major assistance and with constant trips to the hospital who has ample time (?). They live in a small town and it is very hard to simply get a dumpster to throw many items away. The house would have to be completely gutted and redone. The floors are sinking in and it is very dangerous. They don't have the funds to fix any of it and nor do I.
I have missed work several times over the last year and more with FMLA, but never have enough PTO to fully cover my own losses.
My siblings have yet to start their lives. They have been with my parents ever since 2007 to help them with everything. Even when my mother was in a nursing home my siblings and my dad would go see my mom every single day--we just didn't trust the care of the nursing home and rightly so because she developed a bed ulcer on her heel after the wound care nurse said it was getting better--not even close! And yes the blocked artery in her leg and her bed ulcer on her heel are related. The wound care nurse and the Dr. for the nursing home should have caught this medical issue.
So life has been tough, but reading about it doesn't even give it justice. We need financial assistance, a new home or help to fix it--we need a lot of help. I want my brother and sister to finally get on their own feet and do what they want to do. I feel bad for them because I was able to finish college and have a career, a husband, and a home. They have yet to accomplish their goals and it makes me sad and sick to see them so depressed. They are in their late 20s and my parents are both 65 y.o.
If anyone has a kind heart, I promise you I'm not lying. I have proof of all I have written about and I swear on everything--my family, my husband, etc. that this is all real. Thank you for your time and interest. If you can't help at least please pray for us.
I'm trying this BegsList as desperation as I don't know what to do. My wish is to get them a nice clean place to live and live their last years worry free.
family crisis
Posted by jagger1 on 2012-03-21 19:58:48
Homeless and in major need of help
Posted by selondon247 on 2012-03-07 09:58:46
A light at the end of the tunnel?
Posted by doomed1 on 2012-01-30 02:58:37
I've worked very hard and instead of being out there in the world stealing or making babies I can't afford I got a good job, car, and bought my first home at age 20. I'm the kinda friend you know has his own issues and he don't wanna bum you out with them but you can say "Hey James, I can't make my rent, can I borrow this.." or "James my house burned down can I come live wit you?" or "my boyfriend is about to be deported can you buy his old car so we can afford the lawyers?" and my answers are as follows; How much you need?, how long Can you stay + here's $2000 come buy a co-op in my building I'll put in a good word for you, and will it pass inspection?? All this before I was even 25 and these people were older than me! Grown men coming up to my desk at work tell me "I'm hungry" or even just a simple "Feed me" while perched atop my cubicle like a starving pigeon and we'd laugh and joke and sure enough I would buy or bring in something good to eat. I'm the kind of friend that for your birthday from me your most likely to get something we saw in a store window months ago, just to surprise you and make you happy cause it was meaningful to you. Also very kind to those I don't know who seem to be in need, even when we didn't speak the same language, they were drunk and I didn't know if I was walking into trouble.
Somewhere between then and now my life has turned completely upside down. The weight of what I had previously survived (praise God) and what I am now going through don't balance anymore. I lost that home and car and job due to a disability and even though by now you must think me a generally upbeat, diligent, resourceful, praise his name in wrong or right soul I'm lost and I need to rebuild. My entire support system was slowly picked off by my family and close friends life circumstances. I hate telling people how it all happened because to me it sounds like I'm saying I'm cursed and horrible things just keep happening to me. I accept my responsibility for my end and do self checks constantly. Even when thrown into situations far beyond my years, or no one should expect and try to deal with careful thought, civility and grace.
The one last thing I had to hold on to, that was keeping me strong and helping me grow as a person was the love I thought I had but apparently I did not. Lying, fear, cheating, HIV, emotional abuse, sneakiness, poverty, hurt, uncertainty, finding out the person who was the love of your life gave him HIV on purpose but still didn't want him!, cancer and treatments, severely persistent and mental illnesses, self-centeredness, the loss of friends and family acting shady and all that was just my relationship with my EX! So of course me being me for the most part stowed my problems.. "as usual" even if it left me in a bad spot financially, emotionally or physically and I was there! Loving and Supportive even after I was almost attacked. It's a fine line between being a damn fool and doing the right thing, I know but now I'm all on my own. I'm on medicare but the co-pays and deductible are killing me, I can't stay where I am, I'm fat, unhappy and depressed but still thanking God for all the blessing, some time's I feel like asking for more would be an exercise in futility But I'm here. I recently learned that it's ok for me to ask for help. What I'm begging for is to please, please, say a prayer for one another and me! be good to one another and if you could please help me reach my $2,000 goal to a new begining of self sufficiency so I can stop being a broken person and go back to helping others, me and kitty would be forever in your debt and pray for you as well. Amen
I don't know what else to do...
Posted by alice on 2011-11-15 15:58:06
I have been blacklisted and unable to find work, meanwhile I'm unable to pay my rent, buy groceries or school supplies, not even basic toiletries; I have been without toothpaste and toilet paper for 3 weeks. I have no friends that can help, they all either have children or are unemployed and unable to spare any money for me. I don't qualify for any county aid because I made too much money earlier this year, so I have zero help for my medical bills that are now surmounting $15K, my car is going to be repossessed, I'm on the verge of eviction and half starving. My parents cannot help me because they are not in much better financial shape than me, I have not grandparents left and no valid cosigner to acquire an extra student loan. All of this while attending college for nursing, taking a 15 credit course load.
My savings are gone, my bank account is -$483.93 and counting, my landlord is evicting me in December if I can't come up with this month's and December's rent by the first of December. I am reusing everything I can, but am at this point only able to allow myself on very small meal per day or I will have NO food in one week. My cat is starving with me, and we have less than one weeks' food supply left and the food shelf here is so limited I'm on a waiting list. I have no cash, my fiancee's family won't help because they hate me and my fiancee is living two hours away from me, barely getting by as well.
I'm crying my eyes out in the school library typing this. It's the most humiliating and pitiful thing I've done in my life so far but I have no idea what else to do. Please help me. I've asked for help everywhere I should be able to find it but this is my last ditch effort. If this doesn't work, I don't know what I'll do. Please, anyone, anywhere, anything, help me. Anything would be greatly appreciated, even a few cents. I know I'm not going to get out of the situation that I'm in by using this site but all I could hope for was a little relief. Any help and I will consider you my saving grace and do my best to pay it forward when I get done with Medical School, if I make it that far. Please and Thank You for reading my story.
If you want the details of my life came to this, here you go...
I quit my great paying job of three years to concentrate on school more closely in June.
Since school started in August I have had the following happen:
A nervous breakdown caused by an imbalance of hormones from ovarian cysts that I had to seek medical attention for and cost me my job in absences.
Got engaged to the love of my life, and we suffered the loss of a child by ectopic pregnancy on September 9. I had to have emergency surgery as the ER dept. here did not figure out that was the problem until I was nearly dying. They had to remove the fetus, 15% of my left fallopian tube and had to perform a D & C of my uterus. All of this without medical insurance.
Finally got a new job at a local bar waiting tables and was promised 4 days per week after a one month training/probationary period. After a month, my shifts didn't go up but I wasn't contacted about my performance until my boss TEXTED me to have a meeting with him, where he fired me for being "too professional" and refused to elaborate, also informed me that he "extended the training period by two weeks" because he "wasn't sure about my performance" and decided since I was still on probation the last two weeks that he didn't have to pay me for it and never filled my tax information so there is no record of me ever working for him, other than whenever I try to get another job in town I am told that I lied about my work history because I didn't include the job on the list because I didn't exist but when I do, they call and he tell them one of two things: either that I never worked for him and I must be lying and delusional or that I didn't "work" for him, I just trained and wasn't a good "fit" so I shouldn't have put the bar for previous work experience. Keep in mind, this is a small town with a State University in it, and my old boss owns nearly 1/3 of the property and is very well known in the area, therefor: I somehow need to overcome his poor reference to get a job which is proving impossible.
Buyer of My mobile Home is in Default and not paying me, I need to get money 4 car
Posted by all4Luna on 2011-11-05 19:58:18
Mentaly ill Nazis have ruined my life. They are communists
Posted by Winner99 on 2011-10-30 14:58:49
A Second chance at life
Posted by newstartmd2011 on 2011-09-10 21:58:49
Yesterday I decided to try lying on the sofa, that worked better, the painkillers left me with nausea, diarrhoea, and feeling very sick but at least I had relief from pain for a little while.
The house is in terrible mess, kitchen dishes everywhere, wish I could move around and do my housework, I wish I could sit up and eat, and not have to be bent over on my hands and knees or flat on my back trying to eat.
I wonder what the best thing to do is, do I go to the doctor, or the physiotherapist? How will I get there? How can I pay for it, there is only $2 in my bank account, until my sickness benefit get paid in 3 days time, can I manage to work around to free up some funds for this emergency medical need.
I wrote out a grocery list, 9 items, total cost $49.00; I work out my budget for next week:
Income: Sickness Benefit - $260.00
Outgoings:
Rent $260 can only pay $160
Phone $10.00
Internet $12.00
Power $15.00
Transport $20.00
Therapist $40.00
Total: $257.00
I realised I cannot afford them, will have to ask for food grant if I want to get groceries, I need to find a cheaper place to live, but can’t find anywhere within city Region, have to look further out, to the rural areas for anything under $200 per week.
I also need to find a part time job, but my searches and applications have not been successful so far, no one wants to hire someone with Osteoarthritis, and depression.
All day I search the internet for some idea, some open door somewhere, to start my own business, or find some work for a few hours a week, that would give me a chance to break out of the current situation, to change my life, to make a fresh start.
Lying here unable to do much, my mind starts thinking, thinking and more thinking, I reflect on my life, I take stock of where I am now, how I got here and where I want to be. I am living in a substandard rental home that I cannot afford the rent for, on a sickness benefit, in therapy to deal with 15 years of childhood sexual and physical abuse.
15 years of beatings and torture has left me physically, emotionally and psychologically scarred.
The psychologist is helping me to deal with the emotional and psychological, the painkillers sometimes helps with the pain of the physical, but the scars and injuries are always there.
I don’t want to live in this state, I want to break free, make a new start, but how?
I cannot work as a Computer support analyst or a caterer anymore, because the osteoarthritis diminishes my ability to cope with physical work and movements for long. I have tried finding part time work, just a few hours a week, but there are not many jobs out there, and when I do apply for any, they do not want me.
If only I could get my driver’s licence, a little place I could afford the rent for, and a little car, and retrain, I could get back to work and change my life, get a second chance at a normal life…that is all I ask.
What I need to change my life
Re-training = $4,000.00
Driver Licence = $600.00
Car = $2,000.00
Moving costs $1100.00
Business start = $7,000.00
Total $14700.00
I don’t drink, smoke, or go out, I don’t go to café’s or buy coffees or cans of coke. My only outgoings are the basic necessities of life, one day I would love to be able to do these things, but now my goal is to get to a better place, higher place, out of the gutter that I am in, and start feeling like human again, to feel worthy of life.
Help a public servant and his family have a better life
Posted by bradforj77 on 2011-08-20 19:58:56
Please Help Me Leave My Schizophrenic Abusive Husband
Posted by Karma2678 on 2011-08-15 18:58:17
I have been a loyal and faithful wife for 15 years. I've been with the same man for more than half of my life, as I was married very young. We have a 14 year old son and a 10 month old daughter. I would do anything for my family and I have tried for years to keep our family together. All I can say now is that enough is enough. My husband is diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic. It has been extremely difficult dealing with his illness, but now it has become impossible. I've put up with him cheating on me, lying to me, him having alcohol problems, losing his jobs, his controlling behavior etc.. etc.. His illness causes him to believe that everyone is out to get him. He believes his home is bugged by the government as well as his phone. He believes they are tracking him in his vehicle. He believes he gets messages from God through the television and radio stations. He is see's and hears things that are not there. Many times he won't have a normal conversation with me unless we go outside and he runs the lawn mower so no one can listen in! I have tried to get him help and he's been hospitalized and medicated, but it does not help all his symptoms. I know that when your spouse is ill you should stay and take care of them, but I just cannot continue living this way. He is medicated at this time, so he isn't hallucinating. What he is, is extremely controlling. He moved us out of the apartment we were living in after my mother died last year. He moved us in with his mother, who has always disliked me. She treats me horribly. He stays gone all of the time and I am stuck here living in a garage. He has the only vehicle and he controls all of the money. We live in the middle of nowhere so I can't even walk to a gas station. He has alienated me from my friends and my family has all passed away now. All I have besides him is my two children. I would love to be able to work outside the home, but its impossible to do so without a vehicle and childcare. He knows this and just will not allow it.
My only hope is that enough people will understand what I am going through and have pity on my children and myself. All I wish to do is obtain enough money to get on my feet and get out of here. I will then gladly work as I was a Medical Billing Specialist. I will take care of my children and myself.
What I really need to do is move my children and myself into an apartment which runs on the bus line. This way I will be able to take the bus to work each day. After some time I will be able to save enough money to purchase a decent used car.
In my area a two bedroom apartment starts at $550 per month and a 3 bedroom apartment starts at $775 per month. Before I can move I need first and last months rent ($1550 max). $150 for Electricity Deposit. I am estimating that I would need about $500 to pay for a U-haul truck and a couple of guys to help move me in. I also feel that I should not move until I have my next months rent, grocery money and a little extra for miscellaneous expenses ($1275). So, it looks like as soon as I can come up with approximately $3500 my nightmare will finally end!
The good news is that I do have an old co-worker who is in charge of hiring at a medical billing office in my area. She is holding a position open for me in which I will earn $600 gross each week. I know its not much, but I should be able to manage on my own as long as I budget wisely. I should also be able to receive child support payments for my two children at some point in the future.
If you have the means to help my children and myself I plead with you to do so. You would be dramatically changing the lives of three people in a very positive way. I promise that I will never forget any help that I receive and as soon as I am in the position to do so I will pay it forward.
Thank you in advance for considering my request for help.
LAST RESORT PLEASE HELP
Posted by twiztidangel on 2011-07-21 14:58:21
Earlier this year, I had to have two surgeries, (more debt) which I can verify if you think I'm lying. I was off work 3 months which started our downfall. I was diagnosed with adenmyosis which has no cure except surgery which I can't afford. It sometimes paralyzes me with pain but you move on. My husband just recently went back to work after a 2 month layoff this led to us being further behind.
I fear my job is in jeopardy. I can not sleep, eat, my hair is falling out daily. My stress level is beyond breaking, but my 8 and ten year old keep me striving. I am searching online daily for jobs that don't seem to appear. I have minimized all my bills and cut out everything that is not an essential. Next month school starts and I have no idea where the money will come from to clothe these two children. Bills are behind, which as of now is down to gas, electric, rent, food and necessities, and our vehicle, which if I can't come up with $1,037.48 by August 16th, 2011 will be repossessed.
I have applied to Mcdonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, and Kentucky Fried Chicken only to be told I am over qualified. So this led me to lie on an application to Subway, which when I got an interview, I was flat out told I lied on the application therefore I was not Subway material. I am expecting nothing other than minimum wage and a chance to work, I tried to explain and was still denied. I am doing every survey site I can which is very discouraging but every penny will help.
I have been to Job and Family services and was told my household makes $23 too much to qualify for food stamps! If I could've received even $200 a month I could've made it work. While I know it is not Christian-like I can't help resenting the people down the street driving brand new vehicles, receiving $600+ a month on food stamps and the good Lord above only knows what else my tax dollars are paying for in their household.
Any and all help will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
Hanging on by a thread
Posted by Aimco1222 on 2011-06-16 20:58:49
1. Mortgage $1000.00
2. Car repairs 500.00
3. Bills $2000.00
4. Home repairs (roof and collapsing porch) $1500.00
We are a hard working family with 2 beautiful, yet sassy kids...and we struggle everyday. Our credit SUCKS, so a bank won't give us a loan, and those PAY DAY crooks do nothing to help you, they just make it worse.
So here I am...BEGGING online to random strangers that could hold in their hands the money that could really help us out.
If by some chance you have an extra $5000.00 or even more lying around and you would like to help out a person that will "pay it forward", I AM YOUR GIRL!
Two 18 year old girls! HELP!
Posted by onlyexception on 2011-05-07 07:58:59
Please Help Me!
Posted by lindabaker on 2011-04-04 17:58:35
I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.
I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.
When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.
It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.
But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.
It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.
So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.
However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.
I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.
So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.
Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.
Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.
If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.
Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.
Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!
Sincerely,
Linda
Desperate to Escape Abusive Husband!
Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:19
I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.
I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.
When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.
It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.
But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.
It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.
So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.
However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.
I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.
So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.
Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.
Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.
If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.
Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.
Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!
Sincerely,
Jamie
Desperate to Escape Abusive Husband!
Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:17
I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.
I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.
When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.
It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.
But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.
It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.
So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.
However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.
I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.
So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.
Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.
Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.
If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.
Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.
Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!
Sincerely,
Jamie
Desperate to Escape Abusive Husband
Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:16
I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.
I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.
When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.
It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.
But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.
It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.
So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.
However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.
I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.
So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.
Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.
Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.
If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.
Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.
Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!
Sincerely,
Jamie
Desperate to get Away from Abusive Husband!
Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:13
I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.
I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.
When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.
It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.
But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.
It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.
So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.
However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.
I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.
So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.
Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.
Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.
If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.
Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.
Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!
Sincerely,
Jamie
Desperate to Get Away from my Abusive Husband
Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:10
I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.
I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.
When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.
It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.
But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.
It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.
So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.
However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.
I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.
So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.
Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.
Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.
If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.
Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.
Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!
Sincerely,
Jamie
I Want to Be $10,000 DEBT-FREE...
Posted by jisunie on 2011-02-16 14:58:44
come on just a start
Posted by fourseas on 2010-12-18 19:58:58
