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trying to save home and need money for school

Posted by broke_brook on 2012-05-21 22:58:37

i finally got accepted into pharmacy school and i am broke. i cannot afford to pay bills and school fees at the same time. i got 2 kids and a mother who suffers from clinical depression since my dad left us. i decided to go to school to change my future outlook for my kids, whose father by the way gave up his responsibilty and paternal rights. i have been doing it ALL BY MYSELF! i have lost the weight to prove it. none of my family is here they are mostly in Congo. i am the oldest of 6 children and i am trying my best to assist and be the bread winner of my family. i only make 10.00 an hour and the school i got accepted into, i can not get any loans because i still owe money or i am deliquent on my house bills. i cry EVERYDAY for help!! sometimes i wanna kill my self other times i wallow in a depressive state.....PLEASE HELP ME!! i will take any dime or dollar...thank you

trying to keep my house

Posted by broke_brook on 2012-05-21 22:58:27

i finally got accepted into pharmacy school and i am broke. i cannot afford to pay bills and school fees at the same time. i got 2 kids and a mother who suffers from clinical depression since my dad left us. i decided to go to school to change my future outlook for my kids, whose father by the way gave up his responsibilty and paternal rights. i have been doing it ALL BY MYSELF! i have lost the weight to prove it. none of my family is here they are mostly in Congo. i am the oldest of 6 children and i am trying my best to assist and be the bread winner of my family. i only make 10.00 an hour and the school i got accepted into, i can not get any loans because i still owe money or i am deliquent on my house bills. i cry EVERYDAY for help!! sometimes i wanna kill my self other times i wallow in a depressive state.....PLEASE HELP ME!! i will take any dime or dollar...thank you

starving please help . no other options .

Posted by smiley on 2012-05-09 09:58:27

If I don`t get some help with some money for food , bills and just daily living to help me get back up on my feet I`m so scared for my family and I & everything I fought for for years will be for nothing . I am down to some days choosing breakfast lunch or dinner or a roll of toilet paper or gas in my car to get my children to school and am I going to have enough to get them back home . Things have got that bad . Look , I have tried my very best all I have ever wanted was a home . I and had my first child at 16 . I am still married to the same man today. We went on to have 4 children . My last two are still at home they both were born with disability`s . We always loved them and taken care of them . My husband always worked was a great worker and provider until 12 years ago when he was in a near fatal wreck and ran off a mountain in Georgia . He tried to go back but , couldn`t After years of many , many hospital stays and therapy 7 years ago he was well enough to stay with the 2 children for me to go to work full time only 3 years ago Surprise . I had to have emergency open heart surgery with another surgery 1 month later then a lung collapse soon after that . I did go back to work but , everything went down hill after that . I kept fighting and struggling until I had to give up in Jan 2012 . I `m waiting to see if I can get approved for my long term disability that I have paid in these 7 years but they say it may be July IF they carry me . So right now I`m in dire straights . I have done all this on my own . I DON`T KNOW THAT THINGS CAN GET WORSE . But , I never know anything from day to day . I never in a million years thought I would have to ask anyone for help much less online . I`m a private person and I feel embarrassed to have to do this but , a lot of times in your life you have to humble yourself . I thought about it and I saw and read about George Zimmerman we all know who that is he gets to kill someone a kid shoot them in the back not get arrested then set up a sight and get over 200,000 and when they do arrest him claim he has zero money . You know something is wrong with this picture . The parents of the child should get that but , that's not my call. because I need to understand just like me people did open their hearts and even thought people like him needed help .I`m not the one to judge . I just need to get out of a hole . I just need some compassion . I need to be able to get ahead and really be able to go and buy shampoo , soap , soap powders , food , gas , and pay some bills and get what is necessary to be able to continue to live a regular just a simple life and my children or husband won`t have to suffer or worry until I can get my long term disability started .
Thank you for reading my story and Thank you for any little gift you may be able to give . If you can`t give I understand to I know times are really , really hard . But , would you maybe say a little prayer for us ?
Thanks & Bless you .

Trying to fix the damage my own uncles and aunts forced on my family

Posted by FamilyMan1986 on 2012-05-05 05:58:20

Sometime ago, my grandparents, Anthony and Mercedes passed away within 2 years with my grandpa being first, but before that came about, my grandparents dying wish, was that after they passed, that the money they had saved up would be split between me, my uncles, aunts, father, mother and sister. So my uncles and aunts promised my grandparents they would do that, we all agreed.

Also, my grandma wanted a big funeral with everyone she knew to be there. But after she passed, my uncles just disappeared, and my aunt Gloria robbed my grandma out of her own funeral, she only invited 6 people out of 50, stole all the money that was supposed to be for the funeral and split between us all, which totaled up to a little over $100,000, and she took it all for herself and her husband, moved to Nevada, and pretended like my mom, dad, sister and me didn't even exist, worst then that, is that she never apologized, my uncle Dave did nothing, and either did any of my cousins.

They promised to fulfill my grandparents dying wish, and I believed them, my grandparents believe them, and in the end, they stole from their own parents, my grandparents. I begged my aunt for an answer on why she did what she did, and she never came clean, she never once admitted she was wrong, and worst then that, she ignored me, and my mom, dad and sister. It's just the four of us, and we're financially struggling worst then ever before, because we were betrayed. This has effected my sister the most, because her depression has been getting worst, and because of it, she has tried to kill herself a few times because of how things turned out, but she didn't, although I couldn't stop her from cutting herself.

I am currently the only healthy person in my family right now. My mom is disabled and has cerebral palsy, my father is ex-military who is also disabled, and just recently, he was hit by a car and can no longer work, and my sister has asthma. I'm 25 years old and currently unemployed, despite the fact I went to college, I can't find a job anywhere. My mom too, went to college, earned her degree, and she can't find a job either. I worked for a several years, but was let go because business was slow. Since then, I've been selling my stuff left and right just to get through and to help my family, but it's not enough.

If there is anyone out there that can help me and my family, I would be eternally grateful and thankful to you, and to the good Lord for this blessing. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, and God bless you.
I'm a single mother aged 35. I've lived in California for almost 14 years ( it will be 15 this year on memorial day weekend.)
I’m going to be a little blunt, because I'm tired and I want to give up so bad, but I can't. I'm better than that and my kids are my motivator. I wake up everyday and remind myself of 2 things :1) Faith is what you have when you all your beliefs are blown to hell. 2) What doesn't kill you makes you stronger -Nietzsche

I am a 35 year old educated, ambitious, head strong woman. I have owned my own business with my soon to be ex. I know what hard work and determination are. I went to private school and I am educated. I value my community and have always given back and will continue to do so. I also know that I have the drive and determination to get myself back on track. I'm not ASKING for a handout, I'm asking for help up! I also know what loss is. I don't have the business, a house or EVEN the car anymore. We lost everything. He bounced back , I didn’t. All I have is HOPE, that someone or some program can help me carve a path back to self sufficiency.
It's gone continually downhill.I am amazed at the allotment of programs for both housing and employment for all different walks of life. However, what about those that are just struggling. No hang ups, no record, just struggling and are LOW INCOME. I'm not writing this to make you feel sorry, I'm writing this because I have exhausted possibilities that I have researched both on my own or been given the information to do the work with.
There are people who struggle everyday through no fault of their own. They don't want a hand out, but help up would be a relief. Society doesn't need band-aids they need solutions.
Not every county, city or state program fits everyone's needs.
First of all Section 8 has been closed since BEFORE I left my marriage so that idea could never work. The list has been closed for years. Because I have limited time with my children, I do not qualify for CALWORKS. I have tried getting assistance in every way possible. I had very little unemployment left since I have been struggling to find work. I was delayed for about 3 months because they needed verification and I had to appeal and request a hearing. I have won my appeal but will only receive $91/week and for a short period of time.
I took a project management class through WIA in 2011, and I was able to get CTB benefits. I NEED HELP. I have hit the absolute worst point in my life and still refuse to give up. I have been looking for work and am now HOMELESS.I am in week 3 of staying in an extended stay hotel (paid for by my mother back east, who makes maybe $26,000/yr in PA) I recently sold my car because I needed to pay bills and rent. I have maybe $75 to my name.
The fact that they say there are services for low income/ homeless is frustrating. I say this because there is no category for me. I'm not a drug addict or in recovery. I don't have a mental illness. I wasn't in prison, I don’t' even have a RECORD. I can proudly say I've never been arrested or even in the back of a cop car. I'm not a victim of domestic violence and I do not beat my kids. Why aren't there programs in place for single parents struggling to make it? Everyday people that are responsible and respectable. I understand the need to assist those that may not have the capacity to take care of themselves. However, I have a huge problem with the fact that Santa Clara County & all programs (private, govt or state funded) will rehabilitate and reintroduced felons into the community, but if you're poor, homeless, no record, are looking for work, have high intelligence; sorry, you can't get help. This sounds extremely cynical and jaded, but I am a little after going through all I have.
I have been told constantly “I wish I could do something but we don't have any programs to help you.” My favorite reply is: "Yeah and you have done everything. I'm surprised you even knew about all the programs you did"
I have talked to employment counselors, program coordinators, program advocates and case managers, volunteers, just about anyone. The bankruptcy is hindering my chances of securing housing, even if I had employment.

The icing on the cake has to be with food stamps and General Assistance. I qualified for Cal-Fresh. However, at the time I had a car worth $2200. So I wasn't able to get General Assistance. Fast Forward a year later, I HAD to sell my car to pay bills. Now this month when I went for General Assistance, I qualify.

It's a never ending cycle, a constant push down. I can take public transportation to work, but to get around and see my boys and being able to transport them would be extremely difficult, not to mention financially stressing. I have scoured employment books, read articles, searched the library, spent hours online trying to find a job, program, a company, anybody who could be a resource whether for low income assistance or employment.
I can probably tell you about a plethora of services this county (Santa Clara) offers for both income assistance and job services.I am registered with CALJOBS; I know all the career sites and have my resume there. I get interviews, however I am starting to think the bankruptcy from loss of business is holding me back when employers do background check.
I also could teach the business writing class or the resume writing classes they offer at Work2Future, I practically did when I took them. I could do the same at Sacred Heart. I've been to InnVision and EHC. I’ve talked to Sunnyvale Community Services. Boy he was a treat he sounded older then my 80 yr old grandma. When I said I need housing and employment help, he gruffly told me to check the newspaper and hung up. I've called St Josephs in Gilroy. I've talked to a program coordinator at West Valley Community Services. I called the Sobrato Organization hoping they had ties to something and one the employees just by grace of god happened to pick up and take my call. I was able to talk to someone at HIF (they couldn't help)
.
I am responsible, respectable and just want to work, have a place to live, and be able to have my children 50/50. I have no police record. I am not in recovery, nor have I ever had to be in a program
I want to work and am attaching a compilation of ALL my work skills. I would not send this out otherwise, I would tailor it specifically to the job I am applying for.

I used to volunteer as much as I could I like being active in my community and helping others. I'm still about that I believe in PAY IT FORWARD. I believe the good you do comes back to you tenfold and that no matter what is going wrong in your life, someone else is struggling just as much if not more; so be thankful for what you have.
I attend church and was a hospitality volunteer for that as well.
I just need help getting on my feet. I have no family, other than my children here in CA.
I do not want to move back east and be far away from them. I want to work, I want to live again. I want to smile and mean it.

I hate what my life has become and know that I am SO MUCH BETTER THEN THIS.
Please help me : money is fine, but it's only a temporary fix, please help me find a program that can assist me in getting on my feet, direct me to employment, and most of all afford me the opportunity to have my children much more consistently so I can be a mom again.
Thank you
Courtney DiMiceli

please save my life...i got fooled over.

Posted by lilya on 2012-04-29 02:58:22

i am so need your help. i don't know what to do and what to say.
i feel like everythings gonna trying to kill me. i need money. my grandmother got an Alzheimer and she gonna die.
i really want to see her. i never call her grandmother. but i can not see her now because i don't have money to buy airplane cost. my situation is really bad now.
so i am begging you to help me.
if you help please help, i will never forget your help and someday i am gonna help someone else who is same as my situation.
please help me. and please understand poor my english so i can't not explain everything.

Please help me LIVE a little bit longer.

Posted by SweetLittleDoll on 2012-04-18 01:58:02

Thank You so very much for your help. Heres my story. I am in my early 30s. I am a mother of two loving kids ages 4 and 9. My husband moved out a year ago after a bout of depression, stating "I love you thats why I cant stand to stay here n watch you die like this!" And it is true anyone who has watched a loved one waste away before thier eyes can tell you it eats your soul. In a way I cant blame him. I have hopes we will someday get our family back together. Untill then I am in this alone, and now find my self here asking you for help.
I have several cronic illnesses. Including scoliosis:Scoliosis is a sideways curvature of the spine that occurs most often during the growth spurt just before puberty. While scoliosis can be caused by conditions such as cerebral palsy and muscular dystrophy, the cause of most scoliosis is unknown. My scoliosis curve got worse, the spine rotated and twisted, in addition to curving side to side. This caused the ribs on one side of the body to stick out farther than on the other side. Severe scoliosis can caused back pain and difficulty breathing. In my case In severe scoliosis, the rib cage may press against the lungs and heart, making it more difficult to breathe and harder for the heart to pump.I also experience harsh neurological affects of Muscle weakness, Numbness and Abnormal reflexes. To save my life I had to have surgery.
Surgery involves correcting the curve (although not all the way) and fusing the bones in the curve together. The surgeon lays bone grafts across the exposed surface of each vertebra. These grafts will regenerate, grow into the bone, and fuse the vertebrae together. The bones are held in place with one or two metal rods held down with hooks and screws, helping to support the fusion of the vertebrae.I went through all this at age 13. But now with the onset of sevral more cronic illness complication from the surgery that once saved my life now slowly kill me.
Years later I began getting sicker and sicker by the time I was 20 my spine was degenerating causing horrible pain, I had to have my appendix removed, then gallblader went bad. We never dreamed these all had a common factor. Doctors just shook their head proclaiming :you are just so young for your body to be failing like this". Eventually it was discovered I have Lupus and severe arthritus. Lupus is an autoimmune disease, meaning that the body' s immune system mistakenly attacks healthy organs and tissue. Lupus can affect any part of the body, causing inflammation and damage in joints, skin, kidneys, heart, lungs, blood vessels, or the brain. More than 90% of people with lupus have skin rashes, often triggered by exposure to the sun, and about half have kidney and lung problems. Because lupus affects the joints, it is considered a rheumatic (arthritis) disease.
Upon this discovery things began to make sense. So doctors now knowing why began a body wide check up to see what all has been affected. One test was A bone mineral density (BMD) test measures how much calcium and other types of minerals are present in a section of your bone. Your health care provider uses this test, along with other risk factors, to predict your risk of bone fractures in the future and detect osteoporosis. Bone fracture risk is highest in people with osteoporosis. They found I indeed had osteoporosis at the age of 22. SO now My bones are weaking causing damage areas all over my body, but the most serious being in my spine. Now comes the arthritis/lupus, they see these damaged areas and my own imune system attacks. Eating at the damaged areas creating even more damage, which increases the area the lupus attacks. It is a vicious circle. I have now been treated with medication over 10 yrs. But they can only slow the illness there is no cure, and dure to my scoliosis and the metal rods in my back surgical treatment options are very limited.
The damage is so severe I was decared legally disabled by the age of 23. My only income is SSI. I have to support my children and I on 658.00 a month. Thank God the court issued my ex to pay my rent in lue of child support. I am asking for help to cover upcoming medical bills. In the last 14 months I have had 5 seperate kidney surgery. My right kidney is damaged and I will soon be having a 6th surgery. This one to remove damaged section of the tube that leads from the kidney to bladder. then they will reattach at a higher section of bladder. I will aslo be having several Jaw surgeries. Due to exposure to radiation, osteoperosis a excessive vomiting of stomache acid my teeth are breaking and falling out. The doctor needs to repair what they can and put in inplants for what they cant. This will slow the degineration of my jaw. Without this treatment my jaw is going to cave in. Currently I am only able to eat mushy foods. I have drastically lost weight and my body is stuggling to heal due to the stress, pain and infection. So I hunbly beg of you to help me 1.00 or 50.00 anything would help. These procedures will not only improve my quality of life but aslo help extend my time here on earth just a little ehile longer. I just want to be with my kids as long as I can.Whith each dollar you donate its like adding an hour to my life.....What would you give for a few more hours with the ones you love?

Please help me LIVE a little bit longer.

Posted by SweetLittleDoll on 2012-04-18 01:58:01

Thank You so very much for your help. Heres my story. I am in my early 30s. I am a mother of two loving kids ages 4 and 9. My husband moved out a year ago after a bout of depression, stating "I love you thats why I cant stand to stay here n watch you die like this!" And it is true anyone who has watched a loved one waste away before thier eyes can tell you it eats your soul. In a way I cant blame him. I have hopes we will someday get our family back together. Untill then I am in this alone, and now find my self here asking you for help.
I have several cronic illnesses. Including scoliosis:Scoliosis is a sideways curvature of the spine that occurs most often during the growth spurt just before puberty. While scoliosis can be caused by conditions such as cerebral palsy and muscular dystrophy, the cause of most scoliosis is unknown. My scoliosis curve got worse, the spine rotated and twisted, in addition to curving side to side. This caused the ribs on one side of the body to stick out farther than on the other side. Severe scoliosis can caused back pain and difficulty breathing. In my case In severe scoliosis, the rib cage may press against the lungs and heart, making it more difficult to breathe and harder for the heart to pump.I also experience harsh neurological affects of Muscle weakness, Numbness and Abnormal reflexes. To save my life I had to have surgery.
Surgery involves correcting the curve (although not all the way) and fusing the bones in the curve together. The surgeon lays bone grafts across the exposed surface of each vertebra. These grafts will regenerate, grow into the bone, and fuse the vertebrae together. The bones are held in place with one or two metal rods held down with hooks and screws, helping to support the fusion of the vertebrae.I went through all this at age 13. But now with the onset of sevral more cronic illness complication from the surgery that once saved my life now slowly kill me.
Years later I began getting sicker and sicker by the time I was 20 my spine was degenerating causing horrible pain, I had to have my appendix removed, then gallblader went bad. We never dreamed these all had a common factor. Doctors just shook their head proclaiming :you are just so young for your body to be failing like this". Eventually it was discovered I have Lupus and severe arthritus. Lupus is an autoimmune disease, meaning that the body' s immune system mistakenly attacks healthy organs and tissue. Lupus can affect any part of the body, causing inflammation and damage in joints, skin, kidneys, heart, lungs, blood vessels, or the brain. More than 90% of people with lupus have skin rashes, often triggered by exposure to the sun, and about half have kidney and lung problems. Because lupus affects the joints, it is considered a rheumatic (arthritis) disease.
Upon this discovery things began to make sense. So doctors now knowing why began a body wide check up to see what all has been affected. One test was A bone mineral density (BMD) test measures how much calcium and other types of minerals are present in a section of your bone. Your health care provider uses this test, along with other risk factors, to predict your risk of bone fractures in the future and detect osteoporosis. Bone fracture risk is highest in people with osteoporosis. They found I indeed had osteoporosis at the age of 22. SO now My bones are weaking causing damage areas all over my body, but the most serious being in my spine. Now comes the arthritis/lupus, they see these damaged areas and my own imune system attacks. Eating at the damaged areas creating even more damage, which increases the area the lupus attacks. It is a vicious circle. I have now been treated with medication over 10 yrs. But they can only slow the illness there is no cure, and dure to my scoliosis and the metal rods in my back surgical treatment options are very limited.
The damage is so severe I was decared legally disabled by the age of 23. My only income is SSI. I have to support my children and I on 658.00 a month. Thank God the court issued my ex to pay my rent in lue of child support. I am asking for help to cover upcoming medical bills. In the last 14 months I have had 5 seperate kidney surgery. My right kidney is damaged and I will soon be having a 6th surgery. This one to remove damaged section of the tube that leads from the kidney to bladder. then they will reattach at a higher section of bladder. I will aslo be having several Jaw surgeries. Due to exposure to radiation, osteoperosis a excessive vomiting of stomache acid my teeth are breaking and falling out. The doctor needs to repair what they can and put in inplants for what they cant. This will slow the degineration of my jaw. Without this treatment my jaw is going to cave in. Currently I am only able to eat mushy foods. I have drastically lost weight and my body is stuggling to heal due to the stress, pain and infection. So I hunbly beg of you to help me 1.00 or 50.00 anything would help. These procedures will not only improve my quality of life but aslo help extend my time here on earth just a little ehile longer. I just want to be with my kids as long as I can.Whith each dollar you donate its like adding an hour to my life.....What would you give for a few more hours with the ones you love?

Spiritual Readings

Posted by Praise on 2012-03-21 13:58:04

I sometimes give life changing spiritual readings to people on the streets. I gave a reading to one woman on the streets and her life changed. I gave a reading to another woman and she no longer wanted to kill herself and stopped taking drugs! Some people charge as much as $70 for a reading. But right now because I am going through a difficult time in my life. I will give you a reading for ANY amount you donate! Just send me your name, and your birthdate. Blessings.

Stuck because of illness.

Posted by chelszyo on 2012-03-15 05:58:29

At the age of 18 I began working as a TAC engineer. I was very successful and very lucky. I lived on my own and had it all really. I became very ill in the fall and was in the hospital for two weeks missing work. Being stuck in the hospital and the large amounts of meds I was on made me extremely depressed. I then one day attempted to kill myself after returning to work for a few days. My work assumed this was the real reason I was out, and said they did not want someone that was mentally unstable working in their office and let me go. I have not been able to find a job since that fully supports me. I have bills to pay. I don't even want a hand out. I want a job, anything, i need to get by and need to get into a good position to start school again.

lost everything

Posted by minidash on 2012-03-09 08:58:44

lord were do i begin, i dont even know anymore. i am just at my wits end with everything going on and i know that there are people out there in worse shape than i am lord knows , ive never done this type of thing before and i really dont know how, to ask for help im usually the one giving but now i need some help i lost my home to a fire two weeks ago all of our clothes memorabla furniture all of it on top of that just yesterday my company laid me off of course i can get unemployment but that takes about a month to start and its only one quarter of what i made anyway , i have no money for food im living with a relative who constantly tells me what a favor he is doing for me and my two children i cant take it i found a place to rent for only 350.oo dollars a month and i managed to get that now i need money for food please if you can help me please do so my e mail is davidgist62@yahoo.com im using my brothers computer to do this if he knew he would kill me i need this today please please help me i cant take it anymore

Needing Help With A Baby

Posted by williams2009 on 2012-03-05 22:58:06

My story is different, I make money to pay my bills, and I'm not behind on anything. My problems I make enought to pay my bills but nothing to save. The reason I'm looking for help is because I had to have my tubes tied because I was told I could not have babies do to my sudden heart condition (Cardiomyopathy) They told me I would never be better for the rest of my life and its rare if I even got 45% normal heart. Well its been 9 years later and just taking care of my self and I show no signs of every having a heart condition. Being its makes me upset that I had my tubes tied when I didnt have to...Why were tubes tides they thought pressure having baby make my heart pump faster and kill me and birth control same didnt know how it would effect my heart. Well I have thought love and hard about it and I'm married now for five years and I really want to have a child and its going to cost me $6000,00 to have a child. I'm really looking for help to get to my goal to have this baby..I have have a doctor and my medical records review. If there is anybody that could help me I would be forever thankful.

will some one please help me

Posted by jono on 2012-03-05 02:58:34

hi,
this is the hardest thing i have had to do ever.and i dont exactly now how to tell you.
i am a 56 year old ex military police man,i am disabled with a spine contition.
i dont have any money after my ex wife 5 years ago made me bankrupt,
now i have a beautiful thai wife and we have been married for 4 years, we are very much in love and she live in thailand.
last year we found out that she has a very bad contition that could kill her, and she is only 32 i dont want to say what it is on here, but i will tell any one about it that can help me,
in thailand there is no state funding, so if you get ill and you are poor, you die, and thats a fact.
she needs regular treatment and medication to keep her alive, both me and my wifes family are poor and money is somthing we dont have a lot of.
i can only go out and see her twice a year i dont have the money to pay for the ticket i have to send every spare penny i get to her, i live alone and only allow my self £15 per week to live on. please please. is there any kind hearted sole out there that can donate some money to help us, im not going to ask for an amount, thats not nice, any amount will help no matter how much. i am prepeard to come and work for it,
i hope that god will be kind to me and find some one to help before its to late.
i thank you in advance.
god be with you all
kind regards

Sallie Mae is killing me!

Posted by 6ewApp on 2012-03-04 18:58:22

I have over $50,000 in student loan debt, mostly from Grad school (Masters degree is required in my profession.) I have faithfully made payments on my loans ever since the in-college deferment wore off. But paying $500 a month on my loans is killing me. I am a single professional adult who is just trying to be a positive member of society. I have not and will not file for bankruptcy (my mother would disown me), I do not use any government subsidies, and I am drug free (my mom would kill me then disown me at the funeral/prison).

I recently went through a natural disaster and lost everything I own. I have gotten my house back to livable, but can't afford to save money for more improvements because of these horrendous payments!

I'm drowning in debt and unless someone helps me, I'll be drowning for 18 more years!
I have chronic inflammation of a very important organ, and also a rare type of skin cancer that has been partially treated. Both of these were diagnosed in the past one year. However, further investigations would be needed with MRI to exclude very serious complications from this cancer. *(if there is a complication, that would almost certainly kill or leave me seriously maimed if not treated early.)

Basic info on me: I come from a former communist country now part of the EU. I went to high school abroad, as I was awarded a scholarship. Recently however, my parents have disowned me and right now I have nowhere to go, nobody to turn to. In my home country I have no insurance. I am in need of serious help, both financial and emotional.

The current cost of all treatments and investigations would amount to around 4000 USD in a proper hospital in an inexpensive country. please consider helping. I can be reached at the following address: frimurernye@gmail.com
I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.
I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.
I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.
I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.
I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.
I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.
I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho men was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I need motivation

Posted by CantTakeMore on 2012-02-06 07:58:20

Hi. Where do I start. 2 years ago i was taken against my will and forced into prostitution. In other countries it is called Human Trafficking. In my country it is ignored. I was looked in a bedroom in a house where I was made to sleep with men for money. If I did not listen or do as my kidnappers said then I was beaten.

This went on for 8 months.

Only God knows how I survived this. I prayed every day and somewhere deep in me I kneqw I would get out. Then one day I managed to escape. I reported it to the police and helped them set them up. These people where caught. I was to scared to hang around to see what would happen to these people as I knew if they got bail they would find me and kill me. So I decided to leave my family and all that I knew and start a whole new life far away.

I have managed to find a very low paying office job in another province. I have no family or friend that can help me here. They don't even know where I am.

I am batteling financially. Each month is a struggle. It has finally come to a point where I can't afford to pay my rent next month or buy food.

Please Anyone if you can help me get on my feet again and start living again i would really be thankful to you.

Need to get out of abusive situation

Posted by cookie13 on 2012-02-04 13:58:23

I have been married for 2 1/2 years to an abusive drunk. I was a teacher in another state for 11 years and moved to Ohio to get married and start a new life. Almost immediately, I realized I had made a mistake. He drinks heavily and is verbally and physically abusive. I often find myself locked in a bedroom with our cat, who he also threatens to kill. I have slept in my car, in cheap hotels and on friend's couches.
I want to leave and go back to the state where I taught before moving here, but cannot afford it. I am in need of $1500 to buy a plane ticket and to help pay my bills until I can find a job.
I am currently working a min wage job and want can barely pay my bills (student loans, credit cards, insurance, living expenses)and can't afford to leave. I am desperate, scared and tired of living this way. I want out, but have no place to go and no money to do it and wouldn't be on here unless it was a last resort. I can provide a police report from when he was arrested for domestic violence if you want proof of my situation.
Please, if you can find any way to help me, I would be so grateful. When I get out, I would pay back by serving in the community I move to. I currently volunteer at our local cat shelter and would do that in my new city, as well as work in the soup kitchen and find other service opportunities. I believe in paying it forward.

University Fees

Posted by kodak on 2012-01-30 13:58:43

I am a 24 year old student trying to fund my own degree. I am now in 2nd year and really struggling to keep everything together. I unfortunately had to resign from my job that funds my education as I couldn’t balance working and my degree. I do not have any reason why you should donate money specifically to me. I am healthy, I have no children or dependents who are relying on me, and nothing particularly devastating has happened me to put me in my current situation. Unfortunately I simply have no-one else to ask. My family would give me all the money they have, unfortunately they have as much/little as me. I am not asking for a large sum of money, nor do I expect anything from anyone who cannot afford it. There are many other people in a more desperate situation than I am. It is however my dream to graduate and use my degree to help those less well off than myself and to be honest, although it isn’t going to kill me if I don’t get my degree, I honestly can’t think of what else I could do with my future. I guess I’m just hoping that there are people reading this who have been in my situation and also people who can empathise that for some, the student life isn’t quite as carefree and full of fun as it is often portrayed to be. Any amount is appreciated more than you can imagine as every little really does help, and any donation is more than I have right now. Any donations will go towards my university fees which my job previously covered. Thank you lots even just for taking the time to read this.