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I'm from Mississippi, went to Oklahoma last year to see my mum, sistera, uncle.. started helping out an old friend/employer & one evening while fixing the boss' dad's computer for free, met a girl, love at first sight. Then, my parents got me to come back to MS to try out a job. I got the job, very enjoyable, $10/hr, but couldn't forget the girl, she was going crazy thinking I was ignoring her online, I was working & didn't check my messages frequently enough. So I missed her, she missed me.. I came back to OK the day after my birthday & we started our relationship. Everything was perfect. Then, she started losing it, getting stressed for no apparent reason. It turned out the boss had been feeding her meth.(this was oklahoma, after all) so we move out to be happy together, all december we just spent the money I had accumulated working in MS, then stayed in bed together until about New Years, when the boss came around.. we went to casino with her and started working for the ol' boss again, because my job search attempts during December had been fruitless without a vehicle or $ for transportation. So, living with the boss again, problems/drama came back around, my girlfriend would occasionally disappear for 3 days with no communication. I would worry about her, couldn't sleep, worrying/wondering.. we took off to Kansas to get away from the meth-heads. left everything behind, just took a few clothes & ewch other. Everything was perfect.. then my girlfriends aunt started feeding her lies and meth. Effin' meth. girls really get hooked on the stuff. so my first Valentines day was ruined because my girlfriends aunt fed her drugs and lies (i must be a cop because i wont smoke meth with them) and made her think she hates me. She also broke my phone in half and physically assaulted me, but I don't hit females, no matter how obnoxious.. I went back to Oklahoma to work with the boss. this was okay for awhile, but being depressed and lonely, having nothing else to livs for, i stuck with it, no matter how stressful. I was working(for weak pay, but i had free use of vehicles and a place to stay, this was Meth City, Oklahoma, after all - I was the only licensed, insured driver & trustworthy worker they had. I was hoping to accumulate enough funds to take a trip to KS and rescue her from corruption, or at least get her an android to keep in touch, but that never happens when the boss pays you then borrows it back. eventually, the boss' husband went crazy, thought everybody was supplying his wife drugs, or having sex with her, neither of which was I doing, but he kicked everyone out except his nephew, which turned out to be who the one who had sexted his wife from my phone. They were having a relationship, aunt & nephew, which disgusts me.. Anyway, I w(as kicked out as well, my grandparents wanted me to come to Florida to help, meanwhile, my ex comes back from KS with a boyfriend, i get a greyhound ticket to FL.. then the ex kicks her new bf back to KS, comes over needing a place to sleep & get away from meth. I give her uninterrupted sleep, feed her, etc.. and pretty soon we are together again. Nobody helps me get her a ticket to FL for what happened in KS, and before long, matching tickets are sold out. After a hellish, lonely journey in Greyhound, I end up in what seems like paradise, lonely, depressed. My girlfriend wants to get out of Meth City, and I've been trying to make the money with no luck. its been about a week now. My GF texted me how she is heartbroken and wants me to get her out of there. I need to fly her to Jacksonville airport, get her a ride to the nearest airport, and feed her, and I think it can all be accomplished for about $400. I do have intentions of repaying anyone that helps, once I start making money out here. All i need is about $400 to get her out of that drug infested town and out here to the country where she will be away from it all, distracted by lizards, squirrels, bunnies, etc. This girl means the world to me, she's had a rough life, and I want to make her life better like it should be. $400 will get her here to FL with me and I can take over from there, and when I repay, it will be more than was originally contributed, as it should be. this is "begslist" so: Pleeeeeeeease?

My daughter and I are in need of finding a place of our own. These past couple months have been extremely hard because of the death of my mother. We were all living together and my mom was splitting the rent with me and I was working to take care of her. She was sick with Cancer and she had the operation and we all thought she was going to be okay. She did not recover like we expected and she ended up going in a Rehabilitation Center and we visited her often until she came home. I am the youngest of her children. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister and we are called the Berry 5. We were allways known as the Berry Family from the time we were little. My mom started to do better and we were so happy to have her home. It came time for her to Start Chemotherapy and Radiation. She was scared but I and my sister talked her into it because we knew the doctors had told us that she needed it because the cancer had spread to her lymp nodes and when they did the surgery they were not able to get everything. My mom had done one week of Radiation and she went in for one session of Chemo. The same day she had Chemo she seemed fine and then 2 days later she was having fevers, throwing up and so extremely weak. I thought it was because of the Chemo because that is what was explained to us. My concern was she couldn't keep anything down. I needed to give her medication for her Diabetes and High Blood Pressure but everytime I gave her anything, it all came up and so I was so scared because her blood sugar was high and I didn't want it to get any higher. She began to complain of stomach pain and I thought it was another side effect of the Chemo. For a couple days of her vomiting and having diarrhea, I was able to get some fluids down her and it seemed to stay. Little by little we both thought she was doing better. Her strength was not there though, it was difficult for her to even get up to go to the bathroom. The following day she continued to vomit and I was scared so I told her she needed to go to the hospital, because I felt that they could help her more. They could give her medications through an IV and they could find out why she was so weak and everything. She was scared and did not want to go but I convinced her. The ambulance came and took her to the hospital. I tried to follow her but I had to pick up my 11 year old daughter from school. I did go and they would not let me go back right away. I told them my mom had been brought in and they told me she wasn't checked in yet. About 20 minutes passed and I went back up to the window and they told me they would see if the doctor would let me back there and they were saying my daughter couldn't come back there because she wasn't 14, I told them she is only 11 years old and I'm not leaving her in the waiting room with strangers and that she was coming back there with me. They finally let us in and we went back to see my mom. I couldn't believe they had her hooked up to so many machines and she was on morphine and so out of it. I walked up to her and I said Ma, I'm here and she turned and looked at me. She was happy to see me, but then she told me that they told her, they found blood in her stools. I told her it was probably just do to her Hemorrhoids. but she said they told her it was positive for something. I asked her for what and she didn't know. I began looking for the doctor so I could ask questions but he wasn't around and everyone I talked to told me the doctor would be in soon to go over my mom's condition. I stayed with my mom, just holding her hand, telling her I loved her and that she was going to be okay. They came in to take her to have an ultrasound and my daughter and I waited. The doctor finally came in and told me that my mom had an abcess in her stomach that had burst. I said what are you talking about? He said that she had a condition called peridonitis and that the abcess burst and was releasing all this poison inside her stomach and her blood pressure was dropping dramatically. He then told me it was too dangerous for them to operate at that time because her INR level to to high. My mom had been taking Cumadin for a blood clot that she previously had and the cumadin made her INR level extremely high and her blood was not clotting so they said if they did surgery, she would bleed out. They said they needed to correct it by giving her lots of blood products and they gave her all kinds of strong antibiotics and blood and plasma. They were pumping so much stuff into her, I didn't know what to do. Her blood pressure was like 85/60 and then like 76/40 and it was getting lower and lower. They had her hooked up to so many IVs and then they told me that she was the sickest person they had in the ER. So many doctors and interns and students and nurses overcrowded my mom's room. I called my sister and told her what was going on and she came down to be with me and my daughter. They told us they would do all they could for my mom but that it didn't look good. I began to pray, my mom had always taught me to pray and give things over to god. As the night went on, they decided to put an IV in my moms neck, they said it was more direct and if and when she went to surgery it would be better to have that in place. They made us leave the room and they had like 10 people in there with there machines and cameras and equipment to help guide them where to put the IV at. I had never gone through this before and I was so scared but I was keeping my faith. One doctor wanted to talk to me and my sister alone and I didn't want to hear him telling me anything negative. He asked us a lot of questions concerning my mom's health and history. He then told us that she was in acute renal failure and that her colon was damaged where the abcess bursts and fecal was being released into her abdomen. This is the last thing I wanted to hear. I asked him if they could fix it, he said they would do all they could but that their main focus was trying to bring her INR levels down because they were dangerously high. She was also anemic and that is why she was so weak, her blood level was extremely low. They were continuously giving her blood products, antibiotics and plasma. My sister decided to take my daughter home with her. I told her I would call her when I knew when they were going to do surgery. The surgeon had spoken to us and said that it was a good chance, and that operating was her only chance and once her blood level was corrected that they would go in and repair the damage. I felt some what relieved but as the night went on she was in a fight for her life. The main doctor working on my mom's case came and told me that her breathing was not getting any better and that he needed to put her to sleep so he could intubate her and put a breathing tube down her throat. He said it would be good to have anyways so that she would be ready when they went to surgery. There was nothing I could do except walk out of the room and wait. I continued to pray and wait and pray and wait. Hours went by and I would walk and peek inside the room and see my mom's blood pressure increasing some, this gave me hope but then the doctor would come and tell me it wasn't looking like she was improving and that we needed to prepare that she might not make it through the night. i couldn't believe what he was telling me. I called my sister and my brother and told them , they were praying as well. I didn't know who to listen to, one doctor is telling me it's hopeless and the surgeon is telling me it's a good chance she would be okay once taken to surgery. I sat in the hall because they wouldn't let me back in and they stayed with her at all times, monitoring her and giving her medicine and all the blood and stuff back to back. Then they came out in the hall and told me they were ready to take her to surgery. They said she might not hear you but you can still talk to her. I walked up to her lying there, so still and I told her how much I loved her and i told her to fight and that we would do it togther and that I would be here when she woke up and that I was not leaving her. The surgeon put me in the OR waiting room. I was all alone in there by myself. I waited and waited and only 20 mins went by and a security guard told me there was a cafe there and if I wanted to go grab a cup of coffee that I could. I went downstairs and got the coffee, as soon as I reached the OR floor I saw the surgeon standing there, he walked over to me and he said, I'm sorry but your mom's heart stopped during surgery and we revived her but then it stopped again and he said I don't we can get it back. My whole world just crumbled, I began screaming and crying and I fell to the floor. I was just askig God why. Why is this happening? This security lady came over to comfort me and began telling me how sorry she was and asked me if I had any family I could call. I called my sister and told her and she said she was on her way down. She lived in another city about 45 mins away. I was still on the ground just broken and this lady began to tell me that God would help me and give me the strength to go on. She asked me if I had any children, I told her I had a daughter, and she told me I needed to be strong for her. I wasn't trying to hear all that. My whole world was ripped right from under me. A couple of doctors and this lady helped me off the floor and the surgeon that came out , came out again and told me they would take me back to see her. They brought out a wheelchair and wheeled me back there and when they opened the door, my god I just saw them on top of her doing chest compressions and I was just screaming and then the surgeon is telling me I need to make a decision because everytime they do that, they are hurting her and he said, you don't want her to suffer anymore. I was just waiting on my sister4. I didn't want to make that call but I didn't want them pounding her chest in so I told them to stop. It killed in me inside. They wheeled me over to her and I just cried. My mom was only 60 years old and she had her whole life ahead of her and I don't understand why any of this happened. She was such a beautiful person and she had been a christian for 33 years. SHe loved the lord and she raised me and my siblings up in the church. I couldn't believe that she was gone because I had prayed and prayed and I just knew that God would spare her life. I lost my real father at the age of 16 and even then I didn't know him. I always had my mom and she remarried when I was 11 years old. She had been married for 19 years and my step father passed away in July of 2008. He was a sickly person and she took care of him and nursed him for all those years. He had diabetes, high blood pressure, prostate cancer, he was on dialysis for kidney failure, he had a four by pass surgery and he was in and out of the hospitals for years. She suffered so much seeing him suffer and taking care of him, he took what little strength she had. But because he was her husband she did all she could to help him and she loved him so much. So now all remains is just me and my siblings. It's hard because my mom was my best friend. I can't remember a time when she wasn't around. We did everything together and we lived together for years and I took care of her. I wanted so bad for her to be okay and to make it through surgery, I had been taught for years about the love of Jesus and I couldn't understand what he chose to take her away from her children and grandchildren. We had a two bedroom apartment and she had her room and my daughter and I shared a room. After she died, I went home that morning with my sister and I stayed over there for the remainder of the day. The whole day was just hurting, crying and calling the rest of the family. I felt so bad because my youngest brother, say youngest because he is the youngest of my 3 brothers, even though they are all older than me. He came to the hospital to see my mom but he thought she was still alive and the doctors didn't tell him, they let him in the room and she was already covered up and he walked in and was like, it's over ?? he couldn't believe it , he just broke down. One of the nurses that was in the OR called my sister and he was crying, apologizing to us because he thought my brother already knew. He told us how sorry he was. Now my family is broken, my mom was the rock that held us all together. We didn't have money growing up, we didn't have a lot of the finer things in life but we had love. She loved us like no one could. She did it all for her children and most importantly she taught us about God. She lived her life for Jesus, she would pray on a regular basis, read her bible daily, go to church often as she could and when things looked hopeless she took them to god in prayer. She prayed not only for her children, grandchildren and siblings but for people all over the world, she would pray for all the countries and for the sick and homeless and anyone she could pray for. She gave over the years endlessly to Trinity Broadcasting Network, Feed the children, CBN, David Terrell Ministries, Boys Town, Children International, Food For All and to so many others. Month after month, year after year she was giving. She taught us how to give and there were times when we would just make food and take it to the park to give to the homeless, bottled water, sandwiches, noodles, chicken or whatever we could. She would never turn down a person needing help or asking for spare change, she would give freely. She would tell me all the time, it's better to give than to receive and that god would bless me. So I began giving as well, I would call and donate and try to help whenever I could. My mom was also a big giver to the goodwill. Over the years we gave so much, and everytime they would ask if we wanted a donation paper for a tax write off she would say no. she didn't want that, she was giving freely and she didn't want anything in return. That's who she was, she was the person who would mentor you and talk to you about Jesus and how over the years he brought her and our family through so many trials and tribulations. SHe praised god for everything, for the good times and the bad. She used to always tell me to be thankful and to praise god. Now there were times when i was suffering so much and I didn't want to praise god, I wanted god to help me and at the time it seemed like he wasn't. My mom was always there to tell me baby, hold on.. give your burdens over to the lord and he will help you and supply all your needs. I realized that he did just that. I remember when she had surgery for the cancer and she was wondering why god allowed her to come down with that. It was hard for her because her faith was shaken then. She couldn't believe after she was faithful to him for so many years that he would allow her to suffer so horribly and there my sister and I were telling her that she would be okay, that God loved her still and he had not forsaken her and that he would bring her through this. She was so discouraged at the time but we would not let up. She couldn't believe this was her children mentoring and encouragiing her as she had done for us over the years. She told me, she was happy and she felt relieved that her living and everything she had taught us was not in vain. She was thankful to God that we were listening to her and by example we followed her footsteps. She began to get better and we thought she would be okay. My mom was a pure Christian, she didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, didn't curse. She would make you turn the tv channel if you were watching something that cursed. She loved her cowboys though. Her favorites were Bonanza, The rifle man, High Chapparal, Wagon Train, The Virginian and so many others. She also loved the old shows, the clean shows, the original dennis the menace, columbo, family affair, petticoat junction, I married joan, hawai five o, the streets of san francisco, i spy, murder she wrote, in the heat of the night, matlock, the big vally, dr quinn, little house on the prairie, family ties, good times, 227, what's happening, the jeffersons, the brady bunch and so many others. Her favorite game shows were The price is right, deal or no deal, let's make a deal, the newlywed game, match game and who wants to be a millionaire. I loved spending time with my mom, she was someone I could always talk to and she would never judge me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. She taught me how to carry myself as a lady and she taught me how to stand up for myself and I owe her so much. I felt like I let her down that night she was in the hospital and I told her she would be okay and that I would be waiting for her when she woke up but she never woke up. I felt that made me a liar. I had been taking care of my mom for months and I was preparing her meals, giving her medications on schedule and was taking her to her appointments and running errands for her. My mom had been weak for so long because before she found out she had cancer she was bleeding perfusely having vaginal bleeding and they made her very anemic. Before surgery she had 4 transfusions and then after surgery she had 2 more. She never got all her strength back and after she had the first surgery, she was too weak that they sent her to Ballard Rehabilitation and they were working on getting her strength back and getting her up and walking. She did so much better when she was in there and when she came home, they sent out a home health nurse, a physcialy therapist and an occupational therapist. They began doing exercises with her and the physical therapist thought it would benefit my mom to have some help with getting around. So she ordered her an walker , the kind that had a seat on it, she ordered her a wheel chair, a raised toilet seat with the rails and a shower chair and shower bench. So when my mom started walking more better she was using her walker all the time, it was helping her because she had the support to keep her from falling and when she got tired , she could just sit down. I did all I could to take care of her, on a daily basis. She was not strong enough to shower herself, so I bought the shower hose and I began to shower her daily, dress her and do everything for her but I loved her so much and I didn't care what I had to do, she was my mom. There were days when she thought she was a burden to me and she would tell me, that I work to hard and that she was sorry she was not able to do things for herself and i would immediately tell her to stop talking like that. I would tell her, she was my mom, I loved her and wanted to look after her and that she wasn't a burden on me. That she took care of me when I was little and over the years and now it was my turn to take care of her. She told me a couple weeks before she passed away , you said, you really stood by your mom, when all the others went on their way. you stood by your mom. She said, I don't know what I would have done with out you. She said I don't know how I would have made it and she said god is really going to bless you and he will remember everything you did for your mother. She told me how special I was and now that she is gone , I remember everything she ever told me. It has been so hard, going through all her things and seeing all the cards and letters she gave me over the years. Everybody keeps telling me it will get better but I don't see that happening. I can't go one day without crying for missing her so much. I am grateful because she is not in any more pain but I am hurting so badly without her. I have a big sister but we have never been that close, she seems to want to spend more time with me now but nobody could ever feel that empty space inside my heart for my mother. I recently moved in with my brother and I want so desperately for me and my daughter to be able to get a place of our own. It costs so much to pay for first and last months rent and I have this old 1994 car that has been giving me so much trouble and I am barely scraping along , just trying to make it. I would appreciate any help I am given. If anyone can find it in their heart to help me and my daughter move out and get our own place or simply help us with the day to day necessities, it would be greatly appreciated.

My daughter and I are in need of finding a place of our own. These past couple months have been extremely hard because of the death of my mother. We were all living together and my mom was splitting the rent with me and I was working to take care of her. She was sick with Cancer and she had the operation and we all thought she was going to be okay. She did not recover like we expected and she ended up going in a Rehabilitation Center and we visited her often until she came home. I am the youngest of her children. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister and we are called the Berry 5. We were allways known as the Berry Family from the time we were little. My mom started to do better and we were so happy to have her home. It came time for her to Start Chemotherapy and Radiation. She was scared but I and my sister talked her into it because we knew the doctors had told us that she needed it because the cancer had spread to her lymp nodes and when they did the surgery they were not able to get everything. My mom had done one week of Radiation and she went in for one session of Chemo. The same day she had Chemo she seemed fine and then 2 days later she was having fevers, throwing up and so extremely weak. I thought it was because of the Chemo because that is what was explained to us. My concern was she couldn't keep anything down. I needed to give her medication for her Diabetes and High Blood Pressure but everytime I gave her anything, it all came up and so I was so scared because her blood sugar was high and I didn't want it to get any higher. She began to complain of stomach pain and I thought it was another side effect of the Chemo. For a couple days of her vomiting and having diarrhea, I was able to get some fluids down her and it seemed to stay. Little by little we both thought she was doing better. Her strength was not there though, it was difficult for her to even get up to go to the bathroom. The following day she continued to vomit and I was scared so I told her she needed to go to the hospital, because I felt that they could help her more. They could give her medications through an IV and they could find out why she was so weak and everything. She was scared and did not want to go but I convinced her. The ambulance came and took her to the hospital. I tried to follow her but I had to pick up my 11 year old daughter from school. I did go and they would not let me go back right away. I told them my mom had been brought in and they told me she wasn't checked in yet. About 20 minutes passed and I went back up to the window and they told me they would see if the doctor would let me back there and they were saying my daughter couldn't come back there because she wasn't 14, I told them she is only 11 years old and I'm not leaving her in the waiting room with strangers and that she was coming back there with me. They finally let us in and we went back to see my mom. I couldn't believe they had her hooked up to so many machines and she was on morphine and so out of it. I walked up to her and I said Ma, I'm here and she turned and looked at me. She was happy to see me, but then she told me that they told her, they found blood in her stools. I told her it was probably just do to her Hemorrhoids. but she said they told her it was positive for something. I asked her for what and she didn't know. I began looking for the doctor so I could ask questions but he wasn't around and everyone I talked to told me the doctor would be in soon to go over my mom's condition. I stayed with my mom, just holding her hand, telling her I loved her and that she was going to be okay. They came in to take her to have an ultrasound and my daughter and I waited. The doctor finally came in and told me that my mom had an abcess in her stomach that had burst. I said what are you talking about? He said that she had a condition called peridonitis and that the abcess burst and was releasing all this poison inside her stomach and her blood pressure was dropping dramatically. He then told me it was too dangerous for them to operate at that time because her INR level to to high. My mom had been taking Cumadin for a blood clot that she previously had and the cumadin made her INR level extremely high and her blood was not clotting so they said if they did surgery, she would bleed out. They said they needed to correct it by giving her lots of blood products and they gave her all kinds of strong antibiotics and blood and plasma. They were pumping so much stuff into her, I didn't know what to do. Her blood pressure was like 85/60 and then like 76/40 and it was getting lower and lower. They had her hooked up to so many IVs and then they told me that she was the sickest person they had in the ER. So many doctors and interns and students and nurses overcrowded my mom's room. I called my sister and told her what was going on and she came down to be with me and my daughter. They told us they would do all they could for my mom but that it didn't look good. I began to pray, my mom had always taught me to pray and give things over to god. As the night went on, they decided to put an IV in my moms neck, they said it was more direct and if and when she went to surgery it would be better to have that in place. They made us leave the room and they had like 10 people in there with there machines and cameras and equipment to help guide them where to put the IV at. I had never gone through this before and I was so scared but I was keeping my faith. One doctor wanted to talk to me and my sister alone and I didn't want to hear him telling me anything negative. He asked us a lot of questions concerning my mom's health and history. He then told us that she was in acute renal failure and that her colon was damaged where the abcess bursts and fecal was being released into her abdomen. This is the last thing I wanted to hear. I asked him if they could fix it, he said they would do all they could but that their main focus was trying to bring her INR levels down because they were dangerously high. She was also anemic and that is why she was so weak, her blood level was extremely low. They were continuously giving her blood products, antibiotics and plasma. My sister decided to take my daughter home with her. I told her I would call her when I knew when they were going to do surgery. The surgeon had spoken to us and said that it was a good chance, and that operating was her only chance and once her blood level was corrected that they would go in and repair the damage. I felt some what relieved but as the night went on she was in a fight for her life. The main doctor working on my mom's case came and told me that her breathing was not getting any better and that he needed to put her to sleep so he could intubate her and put a breathing tube down her throat. He said it would be good to have anyways so that she would be ready when they went to surgery. There was nothing I could do except walk out of the room and wait. I continued to pray and wait and pray and wait. Hours went by and I would walk and peek inside the room and see my mom's blood pressure increasing some, this gave me hope but then the doctor would come and tell me it wasn't looking like she was improving and that we needed to prepare that she might not make it through the night. i couldn't believe what he was telling me. I called my sister and my brother and told them , they were praying as well. I didn't know who to listen to, one doctor is telling me it's hopeless and the surgeon is telling me it's a good chance she would be okay once taken to surgery. I sat in the hall because they wouldn't let me back in and they stayed with her at all times, monitoring her and giving her medicine and all the blood and stuff back to back. Then they came out in the hall and told me they were ready to take her to surgery. They said she might not hear you but you can still talk to her. I walked up to her lying there, so still and I told her how much I loved her and i told her to fight and that we would do it togther and that I would be here when she woke up and that I was not leaving her. The surgeon put me in the OR waiting room. I was all alone in there by myself. I waited and waited and only 20 mins went by and a security guard told me there was a cafe there and if I wanted to go grab a cup of coffee that I could. I went downstairs and got the coffee, as soon as I reached the OR floor I saw the surgeon standing there, he walked over to me and he said, I'm sorry but your mom's heart stopped during surgery and we revived her but then it stopped again and he said I don't we can get it back. My whole world just crumbled, I began screaming and crying and I fell to the floor. I was just askig God why. Why is this happening? This security lady came over to comfort me and began telling me how sorry she was and asked me if I had any family I could call. I called my sister and told her and she said she was on her way down. She lived in another city about 45 mins away. I was still on the ground just broken and this lady began to tell me that God would help me and give me the strength to go on. She asked me if I had any children, I told her I had a daughter, and she told me I needed to be strong for her. I wasn't trying to hear all that. My whole world was ripped right from under me. A couple of doctors and this lady helped me off the floor and the surgeon that came out , came out again and told me they would take me back to see her. They brought out a wheelchair and wheeled me back there and when they opened the door, my god I just saw them on top of her doing chest compressions and I was just screaming and then the surgeon is telling me I need to make a decision because everytime they do that, they are hurting her and he said, you don't want her to suffer anymore. I was just waiting on my sister4. I didn't want to make that call but I didn't want them pounding her chest in so I told them to stop. It killed in me inside. They wheeled me over to her and I just cried. My mom was only 60 years old and she had her whole life ahead of her and I don't understand why any of this happened. She was such a beautiful person and she had been a christian for 33 years. SHe loved the lord and she raised me and my siblings up in the church. I couldn't believe that she was gone because I had prayed and prayed and I just knew that God would spare her life. I lost my real father at the age of 16 and even then I didn't know him. I always had my mom and she remarried when I was 11 years old. She had been married for 19 years and my step father passed away in July of 2008. He was a sickly person and she took care of him and nursed him for all those years. He had diabetes, high blood pressure, prostate cancer, he was on dialysis for kidney failure, he had a four by pass surgery and he was in and out of the hospitals for years. She suffered so much seeing him suffer and taking care of him, he took what little strength she had. But because he was her husband she did all she could to help him and she loved him so much. So now all remains is just me and my siblings. It's hard because my mom was my best friend. I can't remember a time when she wasn't around. We did everything together and we lived together for years and I took care of her. I wanted so bad for her to be okay and to make it through surgery, I had been taught for years about the love of Jesus and I couldn't understand what he chose to take her away from her children and grandchildren. We had a two bedroom apartment and she had her room and my daughter and I shared a room. After she died, I went home that morning with my sister and I stayed over there for the remainder of the day. The whole day was just hurting, crying and calling the rest of the family. I felt so bad because my youngest brother, say youngest because he is the youngest of my 3 brothers, even though they are all older than me. He came to the hospital to see my mom but he thought she was still alive and the doctors didn't tell him, they let him in the room and she was already covered up and he walked in and was like, it's over ?? he couldn't believe it , he just broke down. One of the nurses that was in the OR called my sister and he was crying, apologizing to us because he thought my brother already knew. He told us how sorry he was. Now my family is broken, my mom was the rock that held us all together. We didn't have money growing up, we didn't have a lot of the finer things in life but we had love. She loved us like no one could. She did it all for her children and most importantly she taught us about God. She lived her life for Jesus, she would pray on a regular basis, read her bible daily, go to church often as she could and when things looked hopeless she took them to god in prayer. She prayed not only for her children, grandchildren and siblings but for people all over the world, she would pray for all the countries and for the sick and homeless and anyone she could pray for. She gave over the years endlessly to Trinity Broadcasting Network, Feed the children, CBN, David Terrell Ministries, Boys Town, Children International, Food For All and to so many others. Month after month, year after year she was giving. She taught us how to give and there were times when we would just make food and take it to the park to give to the homeless, bottled water, sandwiches, noodles, chicken or whatever we could. She would never turn down a person needing help or asking for spare change, she would give freely. She would tell me all the time, it's better to give than to receive and that god would bless me. So I began giving as well, I would call and donate and try to help whenever I could. My mom was also a big giver to the goodwill. Over the years we gave so much, and everytime they would ask if we wanted a donation paper for a tax write off she would say no. she didn't want that, she was giving freely and she didn't want anything in return. That's who she was, she was the person who would mentor you and talk to you about Jesus and how over the years he brought her and our family through so many trials and tribulations. SHe praised god for everything, for the good times and the bad. She used to always tell me to be thankful and to praise god. Now there were times when i was suffering so much and I didn't want to praise god, I wanted god to help me and at the time it seemed like he wasn't. My mom was always there to tell me baby, hold on.. give your burdens over to the lord and he will help you and supply all your needs. I realized that he did just that. I remember when she had surgery for the cancer and she was wondering why god allowed her to come down with that. It was hard for her because her faith was shaken then. She couldn't believe after she was faithful to him for so many years that he would allow her to suffer so horribly and there my sister and I were telling her that she would be okay, that God loved her still and he had not forsaken her and that he would bring her through this. She was so discouraged at the time but we would not let up. She couldn't believe this was her children mentoring and encouragiing her as she had done for us over the years. She told me, she was happy and she felt relieved that her living and everything she had taught us was not in vain. She was thankful to God that we were listening to her and by example we followed her footsteps. She began to get better and we thought she would be okay. My mom was a pure Christian, she didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, didn't curse. She would make you turn the tv channel if you were watching something that cursed. She loved her cowboys though. Her favorites were Bonanza, The rifle man, High Chapparal, Wagon Train, The Virginian and so many others. She also loved the old shows, the clean shows, the original dennis the menace, columbo, family affair, petticoat junction, I married joan, hawai five o, the streets of san francisco, i spy, murder she wrote, in the heat of the night, matlock, the big vally, dr quinn, little house on the prairie, family ties, good times, 227, what's happening, the jeffersons, the brady bunch and so many others. Her favorite game shows were The price is right, deal or no deal, let's make a deal, the newlywed game, match game and who wants to be a millionaire. I loved spending time with my mom, she was someone I could always talk to and she would never judge me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. She taught me how to carry myself as a lady and she taught me how to stand up for myself and I owe her so much. I felt like I let her down that night she was in the hospital and I told her she would be okay and that I would be waiting for her when she woke up but she never woke up. I felt that made me a liar. I had been taking care of my mom for months and I was preparing her meals, giving her medications on schedule and was taking her to her appointments and running errands for her. My mom had been weak for so long because before she found out she had cancer she was bleeding perfusely having vaginal bleeding and they made her very anemic. Before surgery she had 4 transfusions and then after surgery she had 2 more. She never got all her strength back and after she had the first surgery, she was too weak that they sent her to Ballard Rehabilitation and they were working on getting her strength back and getting her up and walking. She did so much better when she was in there and when she came home, they sent out a home health nurse, a physcialy therapist and an occupational therapist. They began doing exercises with her and the physical therapist thought it would benefit my mom to have some help with getting around. So she ordered her an walker , the kind that had a seat on it, she ordered her a wheel chair, a raised toilet seat with the rails and a shower chair and shower bench. So when my mom started walking more better she was using her walker all the time, it was helping her because she had the support to keep her from falling and when she got tired , she could just sit down. I did all I could to take care of her, on a daily basis. She was not strong enough to shower herself, so I bought the shower hose and I began to shower her daily, dress her and do everything for her but I loved her so much and I didn't care what I had to do, she was my mom. There were days when she thought she was a burden to me and she would tell me, that I work to hard and that she was sorry she was not able to do things for herself and i would immediately tell her to stop talking like that. I would tell her, she was my mom, I loved her and wanted to look after her and that she wasn't a burden on me. That she took care of me when I was little and over the years and now it was my turn to take care of her. She told me a couple weeks before she passed away , you said, you really stood by your mom, when all the others went on their way. you stood by your mom. She said, I don't know what I would have done with out you. She said I don't know how I would have made it and she said god is really going to bless you and he will remember everything you did for your mother. She told me how special I was and now that she is gone , I remember everything she ever told me. It has been so hard, going through all her things and seeing all the cards and letters she gave me over the years. Everybody keeps telling me it will get better but I don't see that happening. I can't go one day without crying for missing her so much. I am grateful because she is not in any more pain but I am hurting so badly without her. I have a big sister but we have never been that close, she seems to want to spend more time with me now but nobody could ever feel that empty space inside my heart for my mother. I recently moved in with my brother and I want so desperately for me and my daughter to be able to get a place of our own. It costs so much to pay for first and last months rent and I have this old 1994 car that has been giving me so much trouble and I am barely scraping along , just trying to make it. I would appreciate any help I am given. If anyone can find it in their heart to help me and my daughter move out and get our own place or simply help us with the day to day necessities, it would be greatly appreciated.

my name is juan i am 14 years old and i am trying to go spend the summer with my dad. my dad moved away 4 years ago to guatemala and i miss him like crazy. i went to live with him there when he first moved away but i missed my mom to much i came home. my mom is poor and we wait for disability checks every month. my mom cant save the money to send me and i hate going to my friends house and seeing them with there fathers. i dont get to speak to him much only 1 time every 4 months and it would mean alot to me if i can tell him i am coming to see him. i miss him so much and i just want to be able to spend the summer with him. just one birthday i havent spent one with him in 4 years this would mean so much to me thank you. any donations will help please i hooked up my sisters pay pal account.

my name is juan i am 14 years old and i am trying to go spend the summer with my dad. my dad moved away 4 years ago to guatemala and i miss him like crazy. i went to live with him there when he first moved away but i missed my mom to much i came home. my mom is poor and we wait for disability checks every month. my mom cant save the money to send me and i hate going to my friends house and seeing them with there fathers. i dont get to speak to him much only 1 time every 4 months and it would mean alot to me if i can tell him i am coming to see him. i miss him so much and i just want to be able to spend the summer with him. just one birthday i havent spent one with him in 4 years this would mean so much to me thank you. any donations will help please i hooked up my sisters pay pal account.

my name is juan i am 14 years old and i am trying to go spend the summer with my dad. my dad moved away 4 years ago to guatemala and i miss him like crazy. i went to live with him there when he first moved away but i missed my mom to much i came home. my mom is poor and we wait for disability checks every month. my mom cant save the money to send me and i hate going to my friends house and seeing them with there fathers. i dont get to speak to him much only 1 time every 4 months and it would mean alot to me if i can tell him i am coming to see him. i miss him so much and i just want to be able to spend the summer with him. just one birthday i havent spent one with him in 4 years this would mean so much to me thank you. any donations will help please i hooked up my sisters pay pal account.

my name is juan i am 14 years old and i am trying to go spend the summer with my dad. my dad moved away 4 years ago to guatemala and i miss him like crazy. i went to live with him there when he first moved away but i missed my mom to much i came home. my mom is poor and we wait for disability checks every month. my mom cant save the money to send me and i hate going to my friends house and seeing them with there fathers. i dont get to speak to him much only 1 time every 4 months and it would mean alot to me if i can tell him i am coming to see him. i miss him so much and i just want to be able to spend the summer with him. just one birthday i havent spent one with him in 4 years this would mean so much to me thank you. any donations will help please i hooked up my sisters pay pal account.

I have been a single mom for all of my adult daughter's life, she has mental challenges, and we have tried for Social Security for years. She has a daughter who is 9, and they live with me, if they didn't they would be homeless. We worked hard to get vocational rehab to get her trained for a job, after 7 years and going from supervisor to supervisor, we got her a job as a daycare worker. The program she's in pays her salary for six weeks, and she needs to be hooked up with a daycare center to get certification. Well the first week, they didn't pay her, because they had to see if she was a fit. She got 30 hours for 3 weeks, and downhill after that. The daycare got reimbursed for her paycheck, and now she isn't getting more than 4 hours a week. I live on Social Security, and I have had to take care of everyone for going on 7 years with no help. I needed new tires, and because I thought my kid was working, I borrowed money to get those tires. Now I can't pay the loan, and we could lose our place to live. It's hard enough to live close to the bone, but the promise of a good job, and have it yanked out from under you, is tragic. I don't know what to do, so I thought I would try this. I pray so hard for help, but God helps those who help themselves. My kids deserve better, we live in a travel trailer in a campground, and the rent is cheap, but no money no place to live. HELP

I am a Viet-Nam ers vet, disabled since 1995. I am recieving a veterans pension of $985 per month. This is my total income, with this money I pay my bills and mortgage. I do not own a vehicle as it would be too costly, so I depend on my daughter for transportation. Last year her husband was involved in a wreck that killed two people in the other car and mangled him real bad about 15% above FUBAR his recovery is progressing real slow. She is in need of a water well and some home repairs. There is no running water in the house and she is in danger of running afoul of Child Protective Services unless she can get a water well dug and hooked up to the house. She does what she can by working at any job that comes along, but that falls short of the money for a water well. Thank You for taking your time to read this and I pray that there is a good samaritan out there that will help. GOD BLESS and THANK YOU

paypal orangeflame6@yahoo.com

My sweet grandma Valentina ended up in the hospital with a very serious foot infection. In Russia my grandmother helped thousands of kids - she was an orthopedic surgeon , right hand to the inventor of the device that is used now - Ilizarov Appraratus. Unfortunately, during communist times doctors were practically working for free. So here is my grandmother, who helped so many people...she does not have legal status in US yet and she is 78 years old. Hospital requested $4,000 for her HOME care - she has to be hooked up to the machine to take care of her wound and antibiotics. With a bill over 100K we exhausted all our family resources. I am afraid they are going to let her just loose her leg. Please help !!! My name is Yulia and I am her granddaughter

hi my name is ron im a 51 yr old man who is raising 4 children 1 is mine he is the youngest at 8 the other 3 are not mine they are 16 14 and 11 all have different dads and only the 14 yr old gets support of 320 a month the 16 yr olds dad is wanted on a warrant for non payment of 26000 and the eleven yr old who knows where he is i lost my job and lost my home to foreclosure i now rent and am behind and just found work after 10 days of working i got sick and stopped breathing and now am in the hospital with a treac in my throat and no way to work i cant pay my rent and im 5000 behind my landlord wasok because i started working i have state insurance so my medical bills are covered but he cant hold off no more all of my kids are honor students one graduates 8th grade this yr and there is no rental assistance at all to help my alternative is a pads program which is a differant church ever nite i now have to have a machine hooked up and need home heailth care i also need a home for me and my kids their mom is trying hard to find ajob but hard i pray there is someone who could help on atemp basis just to pull me out of this hole so i can get better and go back to work i have my job secured im beggin for some help

I'm a 24 year old female currently living in a friend's dorm room. His lease ends in May, and that will be the day I become homeless. I've put in job applications everywhere and nobody's gotten back to me, and I still have a single bill that I've yet to pay off... the time is ticking, and I couldn't think of anything else to do.

I'm pretty sure nobody reads these things, but this is my last shot at doing something for myself and getting out of the rut that will inevitably leave me homeless in one month. Here's a story that shows just how terrible gaming addictions can become and how much harder it is to dig yourself out of a hole that only deepens by the day with no hope of escape.

In 2007, I began playing World of Warcraft on my crappy laptop (which at the time had been a great piece of machinery). It started out innocently enough. I had real life friends who played the game and I'd wanted to know what it was all about so I bought and installed it. I was instantly hooked in the world, and made some friends that I talk with even to this day. I went through several guilds before I finally found the one I thought I would enjoy. I began spending endless amounts of time in the game, engrossing myself in it. I quit all of my outside activities and all of my hobbies revolved around getting in the game and playing it until the wee hours of the morning. I would come to work sleepy and dislike everyone around me. After the first two years I fell into an odd depression that could only be quelled by, what I thought, was WoW. By the time 2010 rolled around I had been living in four different places IRL, bumming from one place to the other in order to have more game time. I hadn't had a job, I hadn't even looked for one.

Eventually, in September of 2010, I'd had enough. While I want to blame the game for everything wrong I've done in my life, I can only blame myself for letting it get so bad. I could have shut it off at any time, but I didn't. I could have listened to everyone who told me what I was turning into, but I hadn't. My parents had driven from Illinois to Cleveland, Ohio to bring me back home. It was the opening for a new beginning that I thought would get me back on the path of redemption... but it was only the start of a larger nightmare. Between an internet addiction and an unquenchable withdraw from a lack of a game I could no longer play for fear of losing the roof over my head, I managed to find a job at a local gas station.. but that wasn't enough for my parents. They held my misgivings over my head constantly and for every one thing I did right, twenty things were wrong. After I forgot to do the dishes for the fourth time that month, my internet connection had been taken away.

Instead of taking this as a queue to get away and start my life anew, I fell deeper into depression. Withdraw took over and I used the library computers for an hour or two a day before I went to work to keep in touch with the friends I'd been cut off from. Eventually I'd put enough money together to get my own internet connection and had told my father that the Comcast guys were going to come over to install it. He'd been fine with it though knew my mother would throw a fit. A week later, the internet guys installed my box and left. The internet worked for an hour then shot out. When I told my father that the guys had to come back to re-install whatever they had forgotten to do, he'd thrown a fit about people "drilling holes in his wall, and walking into HIS home", and refused to acknowledge that I'd ever had the conversation with him in the first place. This sent me into a panic attack that ended in a night of hospitalization.

While I was in the hospital I had told the doctor while in tears that I didn't wish to see my parents while I was being treated because they were the reason I was in the situation I was in. While they had not physically harmed me, I was in no mental state to deal with their accusations anymore (which my father had yelled and argued with me the entire way to the hospital already). When they'd finally discharged me, I had found out that I had been abandoned at the hospital with no way home; I'd called a good friend to take me home.

The next day, I was told via text that I was no longer welcome in my parents' home.

While trying with everything I could not to lose my mind for a second time, I made as many phone calls as I could. Nobody could help me. Finally, my sister had offered me a place to stay in her friends' dorm room for a day or two just to make sure that I wasn't left on the street. As if by an act of God, an old friend from high school came into my life and offered me a place at his dorm room until I was able to get back on my feet. I now live two hours away from where "home" used to be, and am typing from my computer here. I had to leave the only stable job I'd had in 2 years to come here and getting back on my feet is proving harder than I could've ever imagined. I've had job interviews with no luck and I don't have enough money to put a down payment on an apartment in the area. If I don't find a solution by May 1st, I -will- be homeless.

I wish I could blame everything I've done on my gaming, and the internet, but as said before, it was my own stupidity that has landed me in this situation. Mental addictions are harder to break than physical ones and even now, 6 months after quitting World of Warcraft, every part of me still wants to go back to it, to get back the comfort of living in another world that it used to give me. The only thing that seems to break the feeling and keep it down is a cigarette; cheapest pack available, mind you. The point I'm trying to make is that gaming addictions can be dangerous, all consuming, and deadly. Someday I may write a paper on all the effects of letting yourself succumb to the beautiful world of anonymity and pixels... but here isn't the place to do that.

This is my last ditch effort to get out of the hole I've dug myself into. Today I offer you my heart and soul, and everything I have left that (Thank God) hasn't disintegrated along with everything else I used to be good at.

Thanks for reading. Hope you guys have a fantastic rest of your week.

http://www.giveforward.com/comingtogetherforcody

Please visit our page listed above to help Cody!

Our little Cody has not been well. Since he was just a month or so old he has had a problem choking when he eats. Around the time that he was eight months old we noticed he was having these choking episodes with much more frequency and they were becoming more severe. It got to the point where we were afraid to even give him a bottle without having the phone ready to call 911!

We took him to his doctor, who suggested we see a feeding specialist. And so began our journey.....

Right away Rosie (the specialist) noticed that Cody had trouble moving his tongue and chewing food. He tended to rush when he ate and that caused even more choking, but he was choking on everything- even just water. After a horrifying episode during one of his sessions, in which Cody choked on a piece of bread and turned blue, Rosie and Dr. Pepper (Cody's doctor) decided it was time for a Swallow Study.

During the study our little Cody enjoyed every last bit of barium as we watched him mash up food and try to swallow it. The speech therapist who was monitoring the test noticed that Cody's esophagus didn't seem to be moving quite right, he rarely chewed and had a lot of acid reflux going on. Aside from those observations, Cody had Oral Dysphagia as well. Those findings led us to an Upper GI Study that ruled out some really bad stuff, but Cody started having new symptoms. He was having difficulty breathing and had to be on nebulizer treatments, was increasingly grumpy, was gassy and had a very full looking belly that hurt so badly sometimes that he couldn't give us hugs. It wasn't long until he slowed down on his eating and Dr. Pepper decided it was time for a trip to Denver Children's Hospital.

In Denver Cody met a Pediatric Gastroenterologist and Pulmonary doctor who read his records and checked him in for several more tests. An Endoscopy and a Broncoscopy turned up a very nice looking esophagus (even the biopsies looked good!) but some pretty bad asthma. They placed a tube in his nose for another test called a PH Impedence Study to measure what was coming back up form the stomach and during which times it was happening. This was all very hard on our tiny little man. He had a horrible reaction to the anethesia which forced him to have to be hooked up to monitors. Anyone who knows our Cody knows what a busy little guy he is!

The results were confusing, though, because Cody had been on a medication that was supposed to help with motility and we knew it did SOMETHING for him- but with his great looking esophagus we weren't sure what it was helping with. If his esophagus was moving fine, why did a drug that was supposed to help it move make him feel a little better? The doctors decided to do a Gastric Emptying Study as well. Cody was NOT happy because he couldn't eat for yet another day. If you know our Cody- you know he loves to eat!

The next day we did the study and it didn't take long to get the results. In the time it takes the average stomach to empty, Cody's stomach had only emptied 7% of it's contents. The medication had been helping his little belly move. Unfortunately, it has some nasty side effects and he can't go back on it. They are currently trying him on a low dose of Erythromycin, which is the last medication available to treat Gastroparesis (Delayed Gastric Emptying), according to our medical team.

We soon got the results of the tube they placed in his nose, as well. Cody has a pretty big reflux problem, too. Since his belly is so slow to empty, his acid has no place to go but up. No wonder he is so grumpy. The constant flow of acid is also a huge trigger for the breathing problems he is having. They are now trying him on both Zantac and Prevacid- both drugs that have not worked well alone, but we are praying they will work better together.

We are trying hard to give Cody small meals throughout the day and to incorporate all the nutrients he needs, but its hard. With the delayed emptying we are supposed to avoid high fat and high fiber foods. We already have to avoid eggs, dairy, soy, berries and nuts due to allergies, so you can imagine what a challenge we have on our hands!

Cody's GI doctors have recomended 2-3 surgeries, including a feeding tube. Gastroparesis is a Dysmotility Disorder. There is a small chance he could outgrow this and there is also a small chance it is actually caused by something treatable- although in 60% of the cases there is no known cause.

In order to fully understand Cody's condition, why he has it and what all the options are, as well as how to care for him properly- we need to take him to Columbus, Ohio to see one of the very few Dysmotility Specialists in the country. We have no idea how long we'll have to be there or how much of this trip will come out of our pockets. Cody's insurance does not cover any travel expenses and will likely not cover any repeat testing he may need. He is currently on a modified diet and they don't cover the costs of any of that, either.


We are asking that our friends, family and anyone who is able come together to help us- both financially and spiritually. We need the finances to get us there and keep us going even when we can't work due to surgery or whatever may come; and we need your prayers and support to keep us strong as we try to manage this difficult and unfamiliar situation. We want so badly for our baby to feel better- he has brought us so much joy and is truely our little sunshine!

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read our story and for doing what you can!

PLEASE HELP I HAVE TWO KIDS AND I AM UNABLE TO WORK RIGHT NOW DUE TO MY BAD ANXIETY AND NOW PANIC ATTACKS THAT I HAVE DEVELOPED OVER THE YEAR. MY BILLS ARE GETTING WAY BEHIND AND MY WIFE ONLY MAKES 8 DOLLARS AN HOUR AT WALMART. WE ARE ON FOOD STAMPS WHICH DOES HELP WITH FOOD BUT THE BILLS ARE GETTING BEHIND BAD. MY TRUCKS TRANSMISSION MESSED UP LAST WEEK ALSO AND IT NEEDS TO BE TAKEN TO THE SHOP THEY SAY IT COULD COST 2,000 DOLLARS TO REBUILD IT :(. IF SOMEONE COULD PLEASE HELP ME I WOULD BE SO APPRECIATIVE. THANK YOU. GOD BLESS. I HAVE MY PAYPAL ACCOUNT HOOKED TO MY BANK ACCOUNT IF ANYONE IS WILLING TO HELP.

PLEASE HELP I HAVE TWO KIDS AND I AM UNABLE TO WORK RIGHT NOW DUE TO MY BAD ANXIETY AND NOW PANIC ATTACKS THAT I HAVE DEVELOPED OVER THE YEAR. MY BILLS ARE GETTING WAY BEHIND AND MY WIFE ONLY MAKES 8 DOLLARS AN HOUR AT WALMART. WE ARE ON FOOD STAMPS WHICH DOES HELP WITH FOOD BUT THE BILLS ARE GETTING BEHIND BAD. MY TRUCKS TRANSMISSION MESSED UP LAST WEEK ALSO AND IT NEEDS TO BE TAKEN TO THE SHOP THEY SAY IT COULD COST 2,000 DOLLARS TO REBUILD IT :(. IF SOMEONE COULD PLEASE HELP ME I WOULD BE SO APPRECIATIVE. THANK YOU. GOD BLESS. I HAVE MY PAYPAL ACCOUNT HOOKED TO MY BANK ACCOUNT IF ANYONE IS WILLING TO HELP.

I owned my own home for almost 15yrs when I lost it. It was in the winter and I thought my pipes had frozen and found out that it wasn't actually my pipes but the house next door to me. I found out that my water line went through the basement of the house next door and that house had been abandoned. When I contacted the city to get them to turn my water back on they told me they couldn't and that I would have to pay to get hooked up to city water. It was expensive and I didn't have the money. I ended up losing my home and both myself and my young daughter had to move into a basement to keep from being homeless. We have been living in the basement for about two years and even though I work every day, I can't get ahead enough to get out of it and get into another home. I feel very bad that my daughter has to live like this. I worked all of my life and it makes me feel very bad that I can't give my daughter a decent life anymore. Please help.

I want $600 to buy a 64 GB iPod Touch+ some music. Thank you! I'm hooked on fun music.I'm without a good rebate in NJ. the fun is missing somewhat.I wish to get one before summer!

I have NEVER EVER done this before but I ran across this site and figured I have nothing to loose trying. "Where there is a will there is a way!" Where to start? Sighhh...
I am the sweetest, sensitive, charitable, loving, giving, God Fearing, non judgemental, lover, encourager lady.. Many of my closest friends and family call me an "Angel on earth"... But even Angels need help once in a while.. I'm usually the helper so asking for help is new and a bit hard for me to chew..

First let's start with: My name is Crystal H.. I am a 32 year old caucasion lady that lives in Colorado.. Native to Colorado. Growing up I excelled in school thus earning 4.0 average and constant Honor Roll. I did have College opportunities ect. but at that time I met a young man in college, football player and fell in love. I had a good paying job as an office manager and thought all was good.. It was for several years anyway..We married and At 23yrs. I gave birth to my miriacle baby whom was premature and weighed 2 lbs. 11oz. I was very ill at the end of pregnancy due to acute Eclampsia so she was born early emergency c-cection, flight for lifed to Childrens Hospital in Denver and I stayed in ICU for the first week.. Keep in mind due to circumstances I never was able to see or touch my daughter before they airlifted her to Denver.. Finally one week later my doctor gave me a two hour pass to beable to go to Denver and meet my new daughter for the very first time.. Words can't tell what I felt and the emotions I was feeling.. I still tear up recounting the events.. But yes after many tears, fear of touching or holding her due to her size and all that was hooked up to her I did finally get courageous enough to hold my new born daughter after a week for the first time.. Love at first sight! Chills are still going through my body as I write this.. Anyway's over time she improved and became much stronger. She was small but mighty. I was finally released from the hospital myself and spent all my time with her at Childrens Hospital until release day.. Brought her home at 3 lbs. 12 oz and had the ultimate baby learning/motherly instincts. With 4 yrs. of twice weekly physical therapy she grew out of her challenges, and has grown into an way above average intellence, beautiful nine yr. old.. Thank you God!!!

My next challenges were none to fun at all! My marriage became rocky.. He became abusive physically, emotionally and mentally.. After about the last 3 yrs. becoming so bad and scary I could not deal with his abuse or allow my daughter seeing such activity. So with that said I asked him to leave our home. He would not leave without a police escort, but finally was gone nonetheless.. I am NOT pro divorce at all so after the initial anger callmed down I did go to him asking him to please do counceling with me and let's really try to work this all out. He REFUSED! So after being with my ex husband twelve years we finally did divorce.. =(

Right after the divorce at the age of 30, I was rushed to the ER and diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure. I was in ICU for over one week and spent several months at home on oxygen. But now since the divorce I was dropped from his insurance so I am unable to have the cardiovascular care needed and a heart valve repaired.. But I have faith one day I will beable to have this delt with.. Gotta believe!

Next was really NOT PLANNED or wanted but happened. I finally met a young man whom I started spending much time with. Due to my heart and lack of insurance I was not on birth control but did use condoms with him. Unfortunately a condom did break and yes I did become pregnant.. Three day's before Christmas last year I misscarried the baby and spent two day's in hospital due to D&C and my heart. I was released at Christmas and had a hard time dealing with the hormones, lack of support from the young man, failure in my parents eyes ect.. Just plain and simple was a hard time for me emotionally but I NEVER once let my daughter know of this and still have not to this day. She does not need to be scared any further than what she has already in life.

Now we come to current events.. Swear I have let my life become a soap opera and should right a what not to do and how to survive book for women.. sighhhhh.... Anyways. After being single for nearly a year and of course wishing I could meet a nice (preferably) Christian boy to date and enter into a relationship with a man whom I have known for several years who was a family friend while I was married came back into my life. This time he showed strong romantic gestures and over time did finally earn some trust n love with me. We entered into a relationship and it felt safe and comfortable since I'd known him so long, family new him and my daughter new him well already too..
I finally started becoming happier and was slowly gaining a little self confidence, and believing that things will end up working out finally afterall.. (Keep in mind due to lack of insurance and Heart Failure I was still not allowed on birth control pills like I wanted) we of course used protection always. But two times the condom came off in me.. I hoped all would be fine and I would not become pregnant, not at all wanting to repeat my first ordeal I had with my daughter plus now with my Congestive Heart Failure on top of it all pregnancy would NOT be good! I went to a local clinic and talked to a female doctor there and begged her if there would be anyway I could qualify for any free birth control that would not hinder my CHF.. Finally I had good news.. =) She said she would see if I could qualify for the low hormone Miranna and if I did she would implant it in my uterous for free.. This was to last for five years.. Yes one positive answered prayer. I went to my doctors oppt. as sheduled, they had me do an UA to make sure I was not pregnant before insertion and preped me for the procedure. Right before the Doctor was to do procedure the nurse came into the room and notified both of us that indeed I was pregnant.. My head swirled with confusion, fear, stress ect.. After talking to my doctor briefly about it, my history ect. I left the office and proceeded to go to my boyfriend to update him of the current events.. At the very beginning he sounded happy and positive, even eased my mind a little but about two day's later he up and left me. I have had my first ultrasound and as of yet the baby is alive and well. Strong heart beat. I am nearly two months pregnant, doctor took me off all my heart meds. due to baby. Still no insurance, applied for Medicade which really saddened me that I was at a point I had to do this.. Very humbling to say the least, and am alone, confused, many urging me to abort the baby but remember I am Christian and this is a hard concept for me to accept.. Currently unemployed, single mother, pregnant, no father support, lonely, desperate and really beginning to feel hopeless.. There is a high probability that the acute Eclampsia could repeat itself again as it did with my daughter and now I'm older than before. Not 23 anymore now I'm 32 with Congestive Heart Failure and Hypertension. Trying to support my nine year old the best I can and now so worried and fearful of what is to come.. Christmas just happened and it so did not feel like Christmas to me. Not much I could do for my daughter or my loved ones. I'm so scared of what the near future holds and how I will beable to deal with it, and be healthy enough to continue taking care of my nine yr. old. Need a good job but kinda feel it would be hard since I am so high risk I have MANY constant dr. visits. Neonatal parnatologist, my OB, and supposed to find a cadiologist as well to monitor me.. Medicade pending but no answer if they would accept me yet, bills piling up, and feeling out of control totally of my life right now.. Sad and confused that bf left me too.. I'm praying sooooo hard daily, nightly, looking on internet for at home jobs I could do but most end up seeming like scams, keep going to church in order to help try to keep me grounded and keep the faith that somehow it will all work out.. I sure hope I have not bored you to death, some may be pretty disgusted by my mistakes and situation, but I do hope nonetheless that maybe even just one person actually found this post, read it through, and maybe just maybe is in a posistion of life that they could and would be willing to help me out a little.. The whole "Pay it forward" campaign.. I fully believe in that and fully believe what goeas around comes around.. Regardless of the outcome I wan't to take a moment to wish everyone that took the time to read my post all the best to you and yours, full love and ENDLESS BLESSINGS to all!

With love and true sencerity,
Crystal H...¢¾


P.S. I don't have a paypal acct. sorry.. If you would like to contact me you may please do so via email at:
chedenskog@yahoo.com Please let me know you are from this site in the subject line so I do not assume you are spam.. Thank you and God Bless...¢¾

I am a 53-year-old divorced mom of two teenagers who is struggling to find work, keep my home, and pay my bills. 2010 has been the most difficult year of my life, as I have had to deal with three major sources of stress all at the same time. The first one (financial) actually began in April 2009 when I injured my right hand in a table saw accident which required hand surgery (almost $5000, which I am still paying off) and prevented me from being able to work for a couple of months. (I am self-employed and do minor home remodeling, as well as decluttering and organizing.) I got behind on all of my bills (two mortgages, medical bills and credit cards) and have been within days of my home being foreclosed upon on three different occasions since then. I have worked really hard to market myself and find enough work to get caught back up, working 10-12 hours a day six days a week when I had enough work to do so. This past May I finally managed to get completely caught up on all my bills, which was a tremendous relief.

Throughout this time, both of my teenagers were living with me and since January I had been doing everything I could to help my 19-year-old son get into the Marines, as I felt it was the only thing that could get him back on the right track in life. I knew he had been drinking, smoking pot and doing some drugs throughout his high school years, but had no idea at the time how bad it was, so I ended up wasting six months taking him to work out with the Marines at the recruiting office five days a week in addition to many other Marine-related things. The last week of June, about a week after he failed his drug test at his Marine physical, I discovered that he had stolen several hundred dollars from my bank account. The next five weeks were utter hell. I managed to get him to admit to me that he was addicted to heroin. We have a tremendous problem where we live with teenagers getting hooked on OxyContin and then switching to heroin (both opiates) because it is about 1/10th the cost of OxyContin. Thank God, my son is scared to death of needles and never injected it (he was smoking five balloons of black-tar heroin a day). If you have lived with a drug addict, you know how it affects every single aspect of your life. Drug addicts are liars, thieves and master manipulators. They can’t help it because their brains have been hijacked by the drug and it is as though they are possessed. The only thing they can think about is how to get more drugs. My sweet, sensitive, smart, funny, loving boy was gone. You cannot reason with an addict and you cannot trust anything they say or do. It is the most unbelievably stress-inducing experience you can imagine. Until his father and I managed to get him into an inpatient rehab facility at the end of July, I spent most of my time dealing with him and trying to keep him from stealing everything in my house so he could either pawn it to get money for drugs or give the items to his drug dealer in exchange for drugs. Among many other things (I could type pages about just those five weeks of all the hell we went through), I had to buy my iPod back from his drug dealer after I discovered it was missing. During those five weeks, my son overdosed once and ended up in the hospital (this happened about a week after I kicked him out of my house). He had no place to go and I was scared to death he would die living on the streets, so I let him sleep on the hammock in my back yard (after I went looking for him and found him stumbling down a sidewalk in a heroin stupor) until he went to rehab (which he had been adamantly fighting against for the prior month) four days later. Because I was only able to work a few days during this period of time and had to spend almost $800 on repairs to my 16-year-old car, I got behind on all my bills again. I have been able to find an average of about 20 hours of work a week since then, so have fallen even further behind. I have been looking for a “real job” for months, without success so far.

Finally – the third source of major stress in my life this year. The love of my life, whom I had been with for 6+ years, ended our relationship in January. We grew up in the same town, went to jr. high and high school together, and I was head-over-heels over him then. We dated after high school, but he was too shy at the time to ask me to marry him, which I later found out he had wanted to do. After 25 years of not having any contact with each other, we reconnected almost seven years ago and it was as though we had never been apart. We were unable to marry at that time because we live in neighboring states and my two children were 11 and 12 then and my ex would not agree to me moving to Colorado and he was unable to move to my state because of his business. I have virtually put my life on hold career-wise for the past seven years, knowing that when my youngest turned 18, I would be moving to Colorado, and so I could have the flexibility in my schedule to make trips to see him every one to two months. Four months before her 18th birthday, he ended our relationship (which was a complete shock; I thought everything was great between us). Needless to say, on top of everything else, this has been very devastating and I am just now beginning to come to terms with the fact that my future with him that I had been working towards and looking forward to all this time is gone, besides dealing with the immense pain of a broken heart. I have felt utterly lost and alone, and very very sad. My wonderful 18-year-old daughter moved out of the house almost three months ago, so it has been kind of hard being in an empty house since then and not having my best friend to talk to every day on the phone like I had done for six years.

I have recently been working for a married mom of four boys, decluttering and organizing her house. Two days ago she called to tell me she had broken her foot and has to keep it elevated for two weeks, so she wants me to wait until after that before coming back to work. I currently have no other job prospects, am desperately looking for work, and worrying about the fact that I have to make two mortgage payments before the end of this month in order to keep from being over 60 days past due, in addition to being at least that far behind on my other bills. I have about $40 in cash, a quarter-tank of gas in my car, and my bank account is upside down.

I have always been a strong person and a survivor (having grown up with an angry alcoholic father). I have never sought any type of government assistance and never will. I have taken care of myself since age 17 and am a hard worker, so it is very difficult for me to ask for help and I apologize for doing so. I assure you that any money you choose to donate to me will only be used to pay bills, put gas in my car, buy groceries, or other similarly legitimate expenses. Thank you so much for helping me out (if you choose to do so). I am humbly grateful.

Hello I am back again..I'm sorry to to posting so many times but I am in desperate need of someone's help..please help my children and i..this is an honest Plea from a struggling sinlge mother..I am a single mother that has just gotten out of an abusive situation..it took every ounce of strenghth and money i had to relocate to a safe place for my 2 children and I..I was able to find a landlord that was willing to let me pay for just one months rent for me to move in right away and the remainder of the money i used for the deposit to have my utilities hooked up..I have a part time job in Sales and Advertising and am also awaiting my assistance but won't be starting until May..I have been very Ill due to a recent diagnosis of cancer..so i have been unable to go to work due to me being soo ill lately..now my landlord wants his last months rent andmy utility bill is past due..I am beside myself with worry and stress..i dontknow what I'm going to do..i am a hard working honest sincer person..a mother just trying to provide a safe happy home for her children..we have already lost everything..due to our bad situation we have recently come out of..my utilities are due to be shut off today and if the last months rent isnt paid by today my children and i will be evicted..we have no where to go..no money..no supports..i am in need of $1,800.00 today or my children and i will be homeless..please please find it in your hearts to listen to this honest plea for help..and help me..i just dont know what else to do..please help us!by the grace of god please help us..if you can help me please email me at CCAM37@GMAIL.COM..thank you for your time..and may god bless you.

Sincerly
CCam

Hello I am a single mother of 2 wonderful boys..I am in desperate need of some assistance...I have just got out of an abusive situation and trying to make a happy safe home and life for my children and i a new beginng..I was in the women and childrens shelter and was able to obtain an apparetment with the only monies i had to my name wich was first months rent and deposit for my electricity to be hooked up..now my landlord is wanting the last months rent and my first utility bill just came in..i am in need of $1500.00by Monday march 30th 2010..for the last month and utility bill..I will pay you back asap every penny..starting in april..i am an honestsincere person..just struggling..and need this one time help asap..if i don't get this help my children and i will be homeless..we have no where to go and no supports..Please if you can find it in you hearts to help a sincere honest struggling single mother just trying to get on her feet and provide a safe happy new beginng for my children and i..we have lost everything due to the situation that brought us to the shelter..please help us keep our home..I will pay you back every penny i promise..comencing in April of 2010..please email me at ccam37@gmail.com if you can be of some assistance..I will be eternally greatful to you..Thank you for your time...God Bless,

CCm