Heal Tags

I have a job, but after our families health insurance is taken out I only bring home $78 every two weeks. I know your thinking cancel it. You can only cancel once a year or of course you lose it if you leave this job. I don't want to leave this job.
Why is it so special, I work with special needs students. It's a very intense job,ages range from 14 -22 years of age. It takes a lot of patience and tolerance for the unexpected to happen. I have what it takes to do this job. Except money. I'm a teachers assistant. I trying to go to school to get a degree. I can't handle over two classes a semester. I have medical issues too, I'm to afraid to cancel my insurance due to the fact I have to go to the doctor and have regular check ups. We do not qualify for aid.

My marriage is not in the best of health either. I need help to save my home, maybe my marriage and my job. This is not easy for me. I'm just very scared, maybe someone will understand what I'm saying, I want to keep what I have, it's not much, I want to continue working in the job I have, I know it isn't going to pay my bills, but if I can get caught up I can still be there for those special kids. Finally, if the strain of being on the verge of losing our house is gone maybe I can heal my marriage. I don't want to throw away 30 years of my life.

We found out yesterday that our heat pump has gone out and needs to be replaced. I know air conditioning is a luxury but here in Florida it is almost a necessity. Especially if you have health problems.

And if you can't do anything for me, just pray for us, God bless, hopefully

I have posted here before, but I didn't confirm my email address so if anyone has tried to donate they couldn't.

My story is, I'm in my forties, married for 30 years. I have been happy and unhappy.Right now I'm unhappy.

We owe very little money on our house. However we are going to lose it to foreclosure unless we come up with seven thousand dollars. We have sold everything of value that we could sell.

We have always been hard working people, helped others when they needed it. Now we need help and have no one to turn to.

I have a job, but after our families health insurance is taken out I only bring home $78 every two weeks. I know your thinking cancel it. You can only cancel once a year or of course you lose it if you leave this job. I don't want to leave this job.
Why is it so special, I work with special needs students. It's a very intense job,ages range from 14 -22 years of age. It takes a lot of patience and tolerance for the unexpected to happen. I have what it takes to do this job. Except money. I'm a teachers assistant. I trying to go to school to get a degree. I can't handle over two classes a semester. I have medical issues too, I'm to afraid to cancel my insurance due to the fact I have to go to the doctor and have regular check ups. We do not qualify for aid.

My marriage is not in the best of health either. I need help to save my home, maybe my marriage and my job. This is not easy for me. I'm just very scared, maybe someone will understand what I'm saying, I want to keep what I have, it's not much, I want to continue working in the job I have, I know it isn't going to pay my bills, but if I can get caught up I can still be there for those special kids. Finally, if the strain of being on the verge of losing our house is gone maybe I can heal my marriage. I don't want to throw away 30 years of my life.

And if you can't do anything for me, just pray for us, God bless, hopefully

Thank You so very much for your help. Heres my story. I am in my early 30s. I am a mother of two loving kids ages 4 and 9. My husband moved out a year ago after a bout of depression, stating "I love you thats why I cant stand to stay here n watch you die like this!" And it is true anyone who has watched a loved one waste away before thier eyes can tell you it eats your soul. In a way I cant blame him. I have hopes we will someday get our family back together. Untill then I am in this alone, and now find my self here asking you for help.
I have several cronic illnesses. Including scoliosis:Scoliosis is a sideways curvature of the spine that occurs most often during the growth spurt just before puberty. While scoliosis can be caused by conditions such as cerebral palsy and muscular dystrophy, the cause of most scoliosis is unknown. My scoliosis curve got worse, the spine rotated and twisted, in addition to curving side to side. This caused the ribs on one side of the body to stick out farther than on the other side. Severe scoliosis can caused back pain and difficulty breathing. In my case In severe scoliosis, the rib cage may press against the lungs and heart, making it more difficult to breathe and harder for the heart to pump.I also experience harsh neurological affects of Muscle weakness, Numbness and Abnormal reflexes. To save my life I had to have surgery.
Surgery involves correcting the curve (although not all the way) and fusing the bones in the curve together. The surgeon lays bone grafts across the exposed surface of each vertebra. These grafts will regenerate, grow into the bone, and fuse the vertebrae together. The bones are held in place with one or two metal rods held down with hooks and screws, helping to support the fusion of the vertebrae.I went through all this at age 13. But now with the onset of sevral more cronic illness complication from the surgery that once saved my life now slowly kill me.
Years later I began getting sicker and sicker by the time I was 20 my spine was degenerating causing horrible pain, I had to have my appendix removed, then gallblader went bad. We never dreamed these all had a common factor. Doctors just shook their head proclaiming :you are just so young for your body to be failing like this". Eventually it was discovered I have Lupus and severe arthritus. Lupus is an autoimmune disease, meaning that the body' s immune system mistakenly attacks healthy organs and tissue. Lupus can affect any part of the body, causing inflammation and damage in joints, skin, kidneys, heart, lungs, blood vessels, or the brain. More than 90% of people with lupus have skin rashes, often triggered by exposure to the sun, and about half have kidney and lung problems. Because lupus affects the joints, it is considered a rheumatic (arthritis) disease.
Upon this discovery things began to make sense. So doctors now knowing why began a body wide check up to see what all has been affected. One test was A bone mineral density (BMD) test measures how much calcium and other types of minerals are present in a section of your bone. Your health care provider uses this test, along with other risk factors, to predict your risk of bone fractures in the future and detect osteoporosis. Bone fracture risk is highest in people with osteoporosis. They found I indeed had osteoporosis at the age of 22. SO now My bones are weaking causing damage areas all over my body, but the most serious being in my spine. Now comes the arthritis/lupus, they see these damaged areas and my own imune system attacks. Eating at the damaged areas creating even more damage, which increases the area the lupus attacks. It is a vicious circle. I have now been treated with medication over 10 yrs. But they can only slow the illness there is no cure, and dure to my scoliosis and the metal rods in my back surgical treatment options are very limited.
The damage is so severe I was decared legally disabled by the age of 23. My only income is SSI. I have to support my children and I on 658.00 a month. Thank God the court issued my ex to pay my rent in lue of child support. I am asking for help to cover upcoming medical bills. In the last 14 months I have had 5 seperate kidney surgery. My right kidney is damaged and I will soon be having a 6th surgery. This one to remove damaged section of the tube that leads from the kidney to bladder. then they will reattach at a higher section of bladder. I will aslo be having several Jaw surgeries. Due to exposure to radiation, osteoperosis a excessive vomiting of stomache acid my teeth are breaking and falling out. The doctor needs to repair what they can and put in inplants for what they cant. This will slow the degineration of my jaw. Without this treatment my jaw is going to cave in. Currently I am only able to eat mushy foods. I have drastically lost weight and my body is stuggling to heal due to the stress, pain and infection. So I hunbly beg of you to help me 1.00 or 50.00 anything would help. These procedures will not only improve my quality of life but aslo help extend my time here on earth just a little ehile longer. I just want to be with my kids as long as I can.Whith each dollar you donate its like adding an hour to my life.....What would you give for a few more hours with the ones you love?

Thank You so very much for your help. Heres my story. I am in my early 30s. I am a mother of two loving kids ages 4 and 9. My husband moved out a year ago after a bout of depression, stating "I love you thats why I cant stand to stay here n watch you die like this!" And it is true anyone who has watched a loved one waste away before thier eyes can tell you it eats your soul. In a way I cant blame him. I have hopes we will someday get our family back together. Untill then I am in this alone, and now find my self here asking you for help.
I have several cronic illnesses. Including scoliosis:Scoliosis is a sideways curvature of the spine that occurs most often during the growth spurt just before puberty. While scoliosis can be caused by conditions such as cerebral palsy and muscular dystrophy, the cause of most scoliosis is unknown. My scoliosis curve got worse, the spine rotated and twisted, in addition to curving side to side. This caused the ribs on one side of the body to stick out farther than on the other side. Severe scoliosis can caused back pain and difficulty breathing. In my case In severe scoliosis, the rib cage may press against the lungs and heart, making it more difficult to breathe and harder for the heart to pump.I also experience harsh neurological affects of Muscle weakness, Numbness and Abnormal reflexes. To save my life I had to have surgery.
Surgery involves correcting the curve (although not all the way) and fusing the bones in the curve together. The surgeon lays bone grafts across the exposed surface of each vertebra. These grafts will regenerate, grow into the bone, and fuse the vertebrae together. The bones are held in place with one or two metal rods held down with hooks and screws, helping to support the fusion of the vertebrae.I went through all this at age 13. But now with the onset of sevral more cronic illness complication from the surgery that once saved my life now slowly kill me.
Years later I began getting sicker and sicker by the time I was 20 my spine was degenerating causing horrible pain, I had to have my appendix removed, then gallblader went bad. We never dreamed these all had a common factor. Doctors just shook their head proclaiming :you are just so young for your body to be failing like this". Eventually it was discovered I have Lupus and severe arthritus. Lupus is an autoimmune disease, meaning that the body' s immune system mistakenly attacks healthy organs and tissue. Lupus can affect any part of the body, causing inflammation and damage in joints, skin, kidneys, heart, lungs, blood vessels, or the brain. More than 90% of people with lupus have skin rashes, often triggered by exposure to the sun, and about half have kidney and lung problems. Because lupus affects the joints, it is considered a rheumatic (arthritis) disease.
Upon this discovery things began to make sense. So doctors now knowing why began a body wide check up to see what all has been affected. One test was A bone mineral density (BMD) test measures how much calcium and other types of minerals are present in a section of your bone. Your health care provider uses this test, along with other risk factors, to predict your risk of bone fractures in the future and detect osteoporosis. Bone fracture risk is highest in people with osteoporosis. They found I indeed had osteoporosis at the age of 22. SO now My bones are weaking causing damage areas all over my body, but the most serious being in my spine. Now comes the arthritis/lupus, they see these damaged areas and my own imune system attacks. Eating at the damaged areas creating even more damage, which increases the area the lupus attacks. It is a vicious circle. I have now been treated with medication over 10 yrs. But they can only slow the illness there is no cure, and dure to my scoliosis and the metal rods in my back surgical treatment options are very limited.
The damage is so severe I was decared legally disabled by the age of 23. My only income is SSI. I have to support my children and I on 658.00 a month. Thank God the court issued my ex to pay my rent in lue of child support. I am asking for help to cover upcoming medical bills. In the last 14 months I have had 5 seperate kidney surgery. My right kidney is damaged and I will soon be having a 6th surgery. This one to remove damaged section of the tube that leads from the kidney to bladder. then they will reattach at a higher section of bladder. I will aslo be having several Jaw surgeries. Due to exposure to radiation, osteoperosis a excessive vomiting of stomache acid my teeth are breaking and falling out. The doctor needs to repair what they can and put in inplants for what they cant. This will slow the degineration of my jaw. Without this treatment my jaw is going to cave in. Currently I am only able to eat mushy foods. I have drastically lost weight and my body is stuggling to heal due to the stress, pain and infection. So I hunbly beg of you to help me 1.00 or 50.00 anything would help. These procedures will not only improve my quality of life but aslo help extend my time here on earth just a little ehile longer. I just want to be with my kids as long as I can.Whith each dollar you donate its like adding an hour to my life.....What would you give for a few more hours with the ones you love?

I'm searching for an angel on earth to help me get well!!! I am very ill and wasting away. I can not take pharmacuticals, as I am way too sensitive. I must heal with natural products that I am unable to afford. I can heal with these!!! The way to health is there I just need the financial assistance to get the right things. I am in need of $3,000 to do the program, that is not much to be totally well and healthy.I lost everything 3 years ago and my health has gotten worse since then. I am unable to work and living with friends since I lost my home. Any donation will be of help to me.I have been through so much for 3 years and I have no family or friends who can help me now. I'm praying that there are good and gracious people out there who understand.

Ava is our adorable pup that we adopted through the
Penny Foundation. Ava is a rescue dog from Mexico. She has filled our
lives with joy and happiness. Ava turned one year old in February. She
is a very active, playful pup who is full of life. A month ago, the exuberant Ava was playing in our backyard. She slipped, and ripped a
tendon in her right hind leg. Upon initial vet exam, she was deemed
fine. However, the condition persisted and she refused to play or go
for walks (VERY unusual for Ava). We took her to a different vet a week
later, and the diagnosis came in – Ava would require surgery. There was
no other option. The injury would not heal on its own. The vet told us
that Ava’s breed is prone to this type of injury. We were very sad to
hear this, as Ava is so young and the surgery would require two months
of recovery time. The surgery is also expensive – $3000 minimum. My
husband and I are not rich people, and are therefore trying to raise
some money to go towards Ava’s surgery. Any amount will help. We want
Ava to make a full recovery, and get back to her normal, fun, playful
puppy lifestyle. The vet told us the prognosis after surgery is very
good, and that Ava should return to full function. Please help Ava.
Thank you!

I need a Game ready recovery system. Its a devise that helps to heal my wounds from surgery quicker so I can get back to work and support my family Its 5000. I know its a lot and I need your help to get it. It helps keep the swelling down in my legs. I will need it for a year or two. Then I will donate it to my local therapist who can use it to help others.
Thank you and GOD BLESS. I need to get back to work and heal quickly to save my family.

Good Day, i hope by the Grace of God someone out there will take pity on me and free me of this financial bondage I need at least R200,000.00 to pay my supplier and bills,borrowing from Peter to pay Paul only makes matters worse.I need a vehicle to work to earm money,met with a accident four weeks ago,vehicle will only be ready in three weeks time,no vehicle no sales no earning,and bill are pilling.Supplie wants money,i have not been working for the past month due to injuries,I need devine intervention,i cannot heal my injuries as i cannot rest as i am so worried about these bill.God Bless whoever helps me abundantly.
ay a supplier

We lost our 8 1/2 month old baby girl 2 weeks ago by SIDS. My heart is absolutely shattered, I miss her smell, her touch and caring for her.
I have 4 sons and our baby girl was the icing on the cake for the family! I am dearly wanting to fly to the US to have Gender Selection as I would love to have another baby Girl. I'm not wanting to replace our daughter but to fill that hole in my heart and to feel love again. I got a taste for what it was like to have a daughter, and it was absolutely wonderful.

In July 2007 my husband was a passenger in a co-workers car; the co-worker turned left in front of a pickup and the car was T-boned directly on his side. The co-workers car was an older model with no airbags; the doctor said that if he hadn’t put his arm & hand up to shield his face than it would have been fatal. The subsequent and enduring “care” he has received via workers compensation (WC), for the grave injuries he sustained, has been appalling at best. This is just my personal opinion, based solely on our experiences since the accident, but I have concluded that workers compensation (that was put in place to protect the workers), is nothing less than an unethical, disingenuous corrupt system. They end up sending you to a doctor of there choosing and these doctors (who have "gone over to the dark side")cater to the insurance companies by writing lengthy reports downplaying any injuries (goal of saving insurance company money with zero regard for the patients well being) in exchange for more patients sent to them and guaranteed, probably higher than usual, reimbursements. All too often it seems like WC caters to those who abuse the system and discriminate against those who really are in need. The “timely” medical care my husband has actually been able to procure through this government supported system is a travesty leaving him with irreparable spinal damage and a life of pain to look forward to. The malevolent truth is, had this system acted in a timely fashion, equivalent to the expedient care that ANYONE else not on WC would receive, then something could have been done to improve his quality of life. Unfortunately, as it stands, due to the guileful delay tactics used by WC, it is too late to do much of anything to repair the injuries causing him pain. Clearly supported medically necessary needs have either gone unapproved or purposely neglected for months all the while he continues to suffer with intractable pain. It is just beyond my comprehension as to how these people can feel no remorse for leaving another human being in such agony. Due to WC neglecting to approve certain items we have had to outlay a significant amount of our funds for medically necessary items\services to help him do tasks that he could previously do unassisted.
Today he suffers unrelenting pain as a result of permanent whiplash, 8 herniated discs, and unacknowledged(despite films clearly showing injuries) unaddressed broken tailbone, ribs and pelvis. Nerve damage from the spinal injury has resulted in numbness in his extremities, frequent weakening of his legs and embarrassing incontinence among numerous other concerns - had these been addressed in a timely manner (much like they would have been if not WC injury) his suffering could have been decreased significantly thereby improving his quality of life. The most serious injury he suffered was the hip break (acetabuler break) the worse break possible - it was broken in four places. As alluded to previously, an injury this severe should have been stabilized by surgery - allowing it to heal properly and not leave him suffering in chronic pain. WC puts such demands on providers to cut corners in order to save money that, in my husbands case, his doctor decided to do absolutely nothing but send him home instructing him to stay in a wheelchair 100 % of the time for several months. This doctor did not follow up with an exam or x-rays to make sure everything had healed properly. When my husband tried to explain to him the degree of pain he was still in the Dr said hmmm that shouldn’t be and then said “I can’t do anything else for you…”. This Dr. was so engrossed with saving WC some money that he disregarded his patients plea for help- how dispassionate and cold. The way this physician treated my husband goes against almost every part of the hippocratic oath which he swore to uphold upon graduation.
After being in pain for years, with no help from WC when it came to pinpointing its primary source, we paid out of pocket for a film that revealed his pelvis had been broken in the accident. This was never discovered previously by the orthopedist, again, due to cutting corners to save WC money they didn't take the necessary films to do a thorough job. We have a hearing with WC before a judge in March to request approval of a doctor who can address his broken tailbone - regardless of the fact that he can hardly sit without being in excruciating pain WC has denied him access to a doctor to treat it.
Immediately after the accident WC paid for home care for my husband and I was his caretaker when they were not here. Once they stopped providing this in home care I had to take over caring for him in addition to taking care of our then one year old daughter. I soon realized that I could not work and take care of both of them so I had to leave my job to stay home. As a result of my loss of income we have used up every penny of savings and 401 K, that we worked so hard to earn. We had to purchase anything medically necessary for Randall that WC was denying or losing track of. In addition to all this bad news, he has had to go out on disability (10/10) due to the deterioration of his condition and as a result our income has been cut substantially. This leaves us struggling to survive with no savings and significant decrease in income. I am the primary caregiver of both my husband and 5 year old daughter and all I able to contribute financially is what I can find the time to sell on eBay and needless to say we are coming up short.
All of our credit cards have been turned over to collections and our house note is in default and I am terrified. My heart breaks for my only child my daughter who is just 5 years old - I want her to remember more than this devastating situation about her dad and what undeserved hard times we are facing. You can ask anyone who knows my husband and they will all say the same that he is one of the kindest, caring, and conscientious people they know. I know that he doesn’t deserve the heartache he is having to endure. He has worked hard his entire life, since the age of 15, up until he could no longer because of his injuries; and I know that prior to this accident he had saved and saved and was looking so forward to retiring and having fun times as a family. He hasn’t lost sight of those dreams but the money he had saved to fund them is all gone. Despite everything somehow he still maintains a positive outlook on life which makes him a much stronger person than I.
We all have faith that God will see us through this one way or the other but some days it is just so hard to maintain a positive outlook. We would be truly grateful for any help - do only as your heart leads you to do!
God Bless

September 2011: Had a nearly fatal motorcycle accident on Lucent Blvd. in Denver. The events leading up to the accident I am unclear of, all I remember is waking up underneith a car and couldnt move. I remember the ambulance showing up to extricate me. Apparently I had a shattered pelvis and a broken humorus. I also sustained another concussion. I never was a big fan of the helmet, in fact very rarely did I wear one. I just happened by chance to decide to wear one that day, if I hadnt I'd be dead. It used to be that I struggled to survive, now I struggle to exist. This account is by my wife:

On September 28th, 2011
My husband Trevan had an accident on is his way to an Interview and he was going on Lucent to get on to the highway on C470 and was not able to see with the dew on the street and sun glare. He didn’t see the car at the stoplights, going on to C470. Didn’t know or see that it was stopped at the light. The sun was so bad that he slammed right into the person in front of him and went over the handlebars of the motorcycle and over the person’s car and was found underneath the car. The Paramedics found him under the person’s car and had to pull him out from under it.

I got a call about 8:15 am from the fire department letting me know that my husband was in an accident. I was so scared I was trying to get my son ready for school and get my daughter ready to so I could take him. I was told that he was taken to Littleton Hospital and that I can call over there and get info on how he is doing. Instead of me calling the ER the ER nurse called me and gave me some info about what they are doing and what ER room they are taking him to. They took some x-rays and he couldn’t be moved because they were not sure about his back. So they did the x-rays in the ER. That is what the nurse told me that they were doing and that he was stable. The nurse also said if I could get to the hospital as soon as I could, it would be a good idea to come since the police and fire department was still there. I told her I would try. I called my mother in law to let her that her son was in an accident and I called my mom. There were other people that I called too. When I got there and I had to park so far in the back of the hospital that I had to ask for directions to get to the ER from the outpatient so I could be there with my husband. When I got there it was very hard to see what he looked like. He had a neck brace on and his left arm was all wrapped up like a present. He had a big gash on the inside of his right leg that was pretty wide and you could see the fat and it kept on bleeding. They would not take off the brace from his neck because they didn’t know what else was going on with him. I met the ER doctors and they told me that he is in quite bit of pain, and that he was starting to not know what happened off and on. I tried to see if he could tell me himself but could not remember. One of the ER doctors was very concerned about the blood in his urine so they took him to another place in the hospital to do some more tests on him. My mom in the mean time called me and told me that she was on her way to be at the hospital with me for support, I told her that I really need some comfort and to keep it together. When she got here Trevan was not yet taken to get tested yet so my mom said hi to him and ask him questions. Then with the ER nurses came in to take him for the tests my mom ask the nurse what kind of test that they were going to do on him and they said it is to check for internal bleeding. When Trevan was taken back we went to sit in the waiting room in the ER. My mom kept asking me questions but I could not answer any of them, because I have not been told about any thing besides what the nurse told me on the phone before I got there. I ask the nurses that were still around they’re about where his belonging were because I needed to know if his wallet and other things like ring and glasses was there. They handed me the beg that had his wallet and other things that they took off of him. I took the beg with me so I could go through it and see if every thing was still with him. His wedding band was in there his wallet was in there and socks and helmet was there too so I took it with me out to the waiting room. There was also a ticket that the police left in it too. My mom took a look at it to find out what all happened. It just said it was his fault but we didn’t think it was his fault, but later on we did fine out it was his fault but we took care of it for him while he was in the hospital. While we were waiting Trevan’s mom came with my daughter to see him but he was still not back in the Trauma room. After a while they finally moved him to a room so we all went there. They took him to the ICU and we had to keep our hands clean at all times coming and going. Trevan was put on many powerful pain medicines for the pain. He was put on dilaudid and he was on that for a while but then he was inching so bad that they took him off of that and put him on morphine he was a little better but still was itching like crazy.

Doug and Jan drove out here on Wednesday night they didn’t stop except for brakes and gas but they drove all the way through so could see Trevan. They arrived at the hospital at 3:30 am. Trevan didn’t remember that his dad and step mom came to see him the first night. I told him twice that they were here and he just didn’t remember it. Every one came to see Trevan everyday Doug and J, Karen and John Hager, Kehli, his mom Beverly. Doug and Jan were here for four days and they were here also for the surgery. We had a lot of people in the waiting room Beverly and our kids, me, and Doug and Jan. I was happy that I had that many people there with me because I was very upset.

October 1st 2011
Trevan had his surgery on both the pelvis and the humerus bone. The doctor started with his pelvis first he said it was the quick one and that Trevan didn’t loose much blood with that one. Then the doctor moved Trevan to another table to do the other part of the surgery. He lost a little bit of blood when they did his surgery on the arm they had to give him two pints of blood. The doctor did come out to tell us the update as he did them and how everything was going. He showed us before and after x-rays. The doctor did a great job of fixing Trevan up. Then after the surgery was done he was in recovery room for about an hour and a half. They moved Trevan to his room afterwards and he still was not doing hot. He kept saying that the room was moving and it made him sick. He tried to keep his eyes closed but it made him even feel worse. He also kept asking for ice chips which I feed to him as much as I could. He was better by the evening, he didn’t feel dizzy any more. Family kept coming to see him and tell him that they love him and pray that he will heal quickly. I stayed with him every night after the surgery to keep an eye on how he was doing. He didn’t remember a lot of things, which in some ways it is good but in some ways it is bad. I think a lot of it had to do with the pain medicine that the doctors was giving him. A nurse told me that it could happen with the medicine could make you forgetful depending on what kind of pain medicine.

October 4th 2011
While Trevan was at the hospital he did fall. He hit his head agents the closet that was in his room. The nurses found him on the floor. They did say that when he fell he landed on his right side and that they don’t think he hurt him self, but he did hit his head when he went down. I asked them if they were going to see if he did any damage, and they said that he didn’t and couldn’t do that much damage because the way he fell. I asked them if he hurt any thing else and the nurse they checked him over and asked him questions and didn’t see any evidence that he had any more damage to what he already had. I asked to if they did any test to see. They said they didn’t do any other tests on him because they didn’t want him to be exposed to any more radiation from the x-ray machine. He was getting out of bed by his self with out any help, which he was not supposed to do that. That is why when he fell they put a bed alarm on his bed so they would know at all times that he gets up, for his safety.

October 5th 2011
During that time while he was a Littleton hospital they were trying to find a rehab place for him so he can start getting back on his feet. They did find one and they had him transferred from Littleton to Porter hospital. Before he left I told him that I would see him later that evening and so will his mom and kids. He said ok and they he was gone. That evening Beverly and the rest of us call daddy from his mom’s phone to let him know that we are coming to see him but we were going to stop and get something to eat on the way up to the hospital. Then while we were eating at Wendy’s he calls me on my cell phone and asks if we were still coming I told him yes. I asked him did you even remember that we called you before and told you that we were coming he said no he didn’t remember. While he was on the phone with me still we asked him if he wanted us to bring something for him. He said yes. We brought him a hamburger and a frosty. When we got to the Porter hospital and got to his room we noticed it was very small and odd shaped. He had a window but in the wrong place or the room was just in the worst place. It looked like a bad shaped L and had no flow to it. I asked Trevan on how he was doing and he said tired and in pain. I said you just been through a lot and it will take a while to heal. Then we gave him is food and let him eat while we also talked to the nurses that were taking care of him there. We also ask that if there was a way for a cot to be put in there so I could stay with him some of the times. They said yes that they will get one in the room the next time I come up to see him. I said thanks. They also had a bed alarm on his bed and his wheel chair that he was using. I am happy that they had that on there but the moment that he got up to use the urinal that the alarm went off. And he didn’t feel comfortable with them always coming in and him not able to potty when he wanted too. When he is in the bed but keep it on when he is in the wheel chair because he could not remember to lock his brakes before he transferred form the wheel >chair to bed or just getting up to stand.

October 6th 2011
Trevan calls him mom to get my number to be able to call me. He talked to her for a while and he also asked if we were coming to see him, and also asked if we knew where he was. His mom said yes she knew and asked him if he remembered that we were the other night. He said no and also said that we weren’t there to see him. Which we were there but he just didn’t remember that we were all there his son and daughter me and his mom. He forgot the entire evening and event that we even were there to see him the night before. His mom said to him that we were all coming to see you again tonight so we will see you later. The same day I went to take our van to get the oil changed in it and found out that there was a clucking sound and they told me that it was not safe for me to keep driving it. They said about a week or two would be all I should drive it. I called my dad and asked if he knew any one that I could take my van to get an idea on how much it would cast to get it fixed. This was all the same day that I was going to see Trevan at the hospital. They didn’t want me to drive it anymore until it was fixed. So Beverly had to take me back and forth to and from the hospital for a while. After Beverly got off work we all got in to the car and drove up to the hospital. We asked the nurses if there was any way for Trevan to watch movies other than watching TV all the time. They said yes and told us there is a TV, VCR that is on a cart that can go into their room to watch movies and only VHS tapes only no DVD’S. So mom went into the lunchroom and looked at all the movies and wrote down all the ones that Trevan would be interested in watching. After she was done she brought the list to Trevan to see and to know that he had choices. Then we went home and told Trevan that we will see him later the next day. Then said our good-byes.

October 7th 2011
There was a lot of thing going on this day that I don’t want to go through again. I had to take my van to a place that my sister in law told me about. I made my appointment with them the day before and they wanted me to bring it back today and get it fixed. They even said that it was not safe at all. I left it with them to fix it in the morning. Then I came back home and had more things to do. I had to run around back and forth using my mother in laws car which was ok she was taking care of my daughter and my niece so I got thing done and I was able to relax a little bit. We all went to see Trevan that evening. We had to go and pick up my van after we picked up dinner. Then we left to see Trevan. When we got there into Trevan’s room he looked really tired and in a bit of pain. We got an extra hamburger so we gave it to him so he could eat it. Of course he at it all up. I changed the channel and found shreck the movie and we all watched that with Trevan. The nurse cam in to see how he was doing. He said that he needed more pain medicine, also needed to have his depends changed. The kids and grandma left outside the room while he was getting changed. After he got settled again the kids came back in and they were getting rowdy so I ask Beverly to take the kids home. They gave their daddy a kiss and left. That night I stayed with him and he kept on asking if the nurse had given him his pain medicine. I told him yes that they did give you your medicine. I asked him if even remembered it and he said no. He asked me 4 other times to while I was there. When it was time for him to have another dose of medicine I said to use the call button that is what it is there for instead of me always running in and out of his room to let the nurses know that he needed more medicine. I stayed with him all night it was very hard for me to hear. When Trevan would fall to sleep he would start dreaming and breathing heavy then wake up crying and then fell back to sleep. It would go on about 5 times at night. I think it was nightmares and when he wakes up he would not remember any of it.

October 8th 2011
The nurses were coming into see how Trevan was doing. He had his breakfast and pain medicine. After breakfast the therapist came in to take him to do some therapy stuff. He worked on the ramp with wheel chair going up and down with keeping control with his feet. The first round was 35 minutes. Then comes back and rests for a half-hour and goes again for 30 minutes. Then he came back and rested and had lunch. Then he went with another therapist and goes and has a shower, but after a while he came back. The nurses told me when they came back with Trevan that the cut on the inside of the right leg came open while they were helping him with his shower. He lost a little bit of blood but it hurt him quite a bit. So two nurses came back. One was pushing him and the other on putting pressure on the wound. When he was back in the room he looked like a ghost, and looked very tired. Then his nurse came in to put a different kind of bandage on his leg. By the end of the day he had color back in his face and was doing better. That day and evening he didn’t know that I was staying with him. I was with him at the hospital since Friday night, to Sunday evening. I will be going home on Sunday night.

October 9th 2011
The nurses and doctors decided not to have therapy because Trevan gave them a scare. So they just let him rest and let the wound heal some more before he did any more. I watched him sleep and he has the bad dreams again all day, and all night. I woke up every time he had the dreams. I counted how many times he would wake up and go to sleep again. It was hard to hear too. When he did wake up I would ask if he remembered any of it. He would say No. I did let the nurses know what was going on with Trevan and also asked him to keep an eye out and check on him. I also asked them to keep a record of it too. I left the evening so I could take care of my kids the next day. My mother in law had to work and had to keep Sarah with me. I said my good-byes. I asked the nurses to keep me in formed on how he did through the night.

October 10th 2011
Trevan told me that he had therapy and that he was in some pain. He was up in the wheel chair and bed. He was learning how to put socks and underwear, shorts and shirt on by him self with out help and doing it all by with one hand. He did OK is what he said. It is hard for him to remember which arm to do in first. The nurses said try to remember left first than over the head than right arm. Then put your glasses on so you can see. He said he would try to remember. Then I went home. He also saw the doctor and asked for Ibuprofen.

October 11th 2011
I got to the hospital to see Trevan about 7ish. He looked tire but also happy to see me. He said to me when I can in “I was wondering when you were going to be here” I said I had to take care of the kids first. In the morning he did therapy then he has lunch and after he had lunch he did some more activities he had u ride outside and played scrabble to get his mind working on thinking. That is what he did during the day when I was not there to see him during the day Trevan had therapy and looked somewhat tired when I got there, he was also in his wheel chair. He ate all the tacos that his mom got for him. After we got done eating he was in a lot of pain. He asked for more pain medicine and he could not get any more ibuprofen. So they gave him percocet for the pain. All we did while I was there with him we talked and watched TV together. Was late when I left to go home and care for my kids.

October 12th 2011
I went to see Trevan about 7ish again. He did a lot of thing in the morning it was all written down so I knew what he did. Which he was to do every day for his memory issues that he has. He had breakfast then he had PT. He did exercises with his legs. ST. tested him it scored 20 out of 25 on the cognitive tests. Then he did some transferring using one leg, 2-½ lbs. on the other leg (right leg all weight and partial weight on the left.) After lunch he did the walker, wheel chair, shower, teeth and hair. All of this info that I keep getting is what he writes down for his memory reminder. I took a look at him and asked him how he is doing, He said he is in a bit of pain. A lot of pain was mainly in the arm. He asked for some pain medicine and he started to fall to sleep. So I told him that I would head home and take care of the kids. He said to tell them that he loves them. I said ok.

October 13th 2011
Just reading his report that he wrote. He did getting in to his wheel chair to go to the toilet, Independence Square and weight. That was his activities during the day and he also had another stitch pop and his leg started bleeding again. That is what he told me. It is covered with gaze. I was happy that they did put that on there to protect it better. He has been sleeping better. They aren’t using the walker with the plate form because of his bad left arm. He is balancing so much better on his right leg which I am very proud of him. I noticed while I was there he didn’t remember that he had his pain medicine which they did give it to him. But they could not give him any more until 9:15 PM. And it was about 8:20 PM when he asked for more pain medicine.

October 14th 2011
Trevan woke up around 5:45 am having pain in his arm and needed to be changed. Found out that Dr. Bess has not released him from putting more weight on his left leg. It will be 30% weight for a while. At a little bit after 9 this morning went for a wheel chair walk. He sat in the wheel chair and used his right foot to move him forward and his right hand also help him to move forward in the direction that he needs to go. He went around the hallway twice. Then after he did that he came back to his room, so after that another person came in and took him down to the shower. Both of us were in the shower room with the nurse getting him ready and helping him stand only on one leg. He could not put much weight on the left leg. After every thing was off the therapist helped him sit on the shower/ tub chair. We both helped him get cleaned up, but we made sure he did most of the cleaning up. He did well at listening to me and stayed seated until we needed him to stand to pull up his pants. He only used his right leg to stand on and his right arm to pull up. I told him if he comes home he is going to have to listen and wait until I can come and help him. I didn’t want him to fall again and end up in the hospital again. After the shower we went back to his room to rest for a few minutes. Then he went to do more moving therapy. He did hopping on the right leg and using the parallel bars with the right arm to and from the wheel chair. Then he did some bumping up and down on the stairs. They would not do any more of them for a while because it tired him out so much. We did not know when he would be able to come home yet. We were going to have someone come by to take a look at the house and see if he can come home. Right now it is set for wed. But it is not set in stone. I am planning to stay the night again and leave about 8:15 am to watch my daughter. Then I will be back to stay with him again that evening.

October 15th 2011
This is what Trevan did for the day, leg/ hip exercises, control wheelchair up and down ramp. ST- did memory strategies, put a picture with info, and writing down notes. OT- watched him do his brushing his teeth, getting dressed, independence square (cashier, shop, and sandwich) memory. That is what he did and also found out he has a urine infection. He slept a little bit, was up having to go to the potty all night, had to remind him mot to put any weight on his left leg. He said that he was not but I doubt it. I was watching him. After he was done he was always putting weight on the left leg every time he pushed his butt back in the bed. I am very worried about that. I did tell the nurses to keep an eye on him that he was having issues with him having to pee all the time. Since he had the infection. They said that they would keep watch and see how he does through the night.

October 16th 2011
Trevan had a bad day at remembering this day. I just don’t remember what he forgot because I was also very tired this day also.

October 17th 2011
We brought Trevan home to do the home inspection so we could find out what we all needed to do and what to get for the house, so Trevan can come home. We didn’t want him to get injured any more than what he is now. When we got to the house the two nurses had to lift him and the wheel chair up the stairs since we didn’t have the ramp up quite yet. We did tell them it would be up once we know what day we could get help. While Trevan was still sitting in the wheel chair he had to use the restroom. He did try to get in the restroom which he did do just fine, but when he was ready to get back out and into the wheel chair he almost fell in to the wheel. So they deiced not to have him use the small bathroom.

Today we found out that it is going to cost us $8500 to get a new roof. Unfortunately, we have not been so fortunate in the financial department over the past year and a half.

Last year and just under a year before that, our dog decided it would be fun to break her leg. First the left, then the right. Due to the fact that her legs are too small for casts we had to opt for surgery both times. Well come to find out her right leg decided not to heal right and she had to have 2 additional surgeries. I'm not sure if anyone has ever had a dog in the ER...IT'S EXPENSIVE.

Well, after that, our fence decided to fall over...so we had to get a new fence. Due to the condition of the fence all the way around, we had to replace the whole thing. The neighbors didn't want to help, so we did what we had to.

Now.....we have to replace the roof!

I don't know what to do besides come on here and ask for help. We are both low income individuals, and I have just finished school and now have a HUGE student loan.

I am hoping someone has it in their heart to donate anything to help us out. I promise to always pay if forward.....to the next person.

We are just regular people, trying to make it through life. Thinking we would do right by purchasing our first home.....had only caused us financial woes.

Thanks for reading...

I've decided to try and get help through donations http://www.giveforward.com/unbreakmyheart and funding http://unbreakmyheart2011.blogspot.com/from outside sources since every doctor I've seen in 2 years agree that I need the leads to my ICD (defibrillator) replaced; but shuffle me back to the original doctor and wash their hands of me.

I'm raising funds for ICD replacement surgery, to go see a HOCM specialist (Dr. Craig Asher) at Cleveland Clinic in S. Florida and to have advanced testing through Vanderbilt Autonomic Center in Tennessee.

I don't want to admit I need help; I've always been a strong, independent person who took care of everything and everyone. In August 2009, my whole world changed. After my procedure, I applied for disability and was turned down twice and had to hire an attorney. I went from being "super" mom, wife & friend and care taker of an Autistic son to being the one who had to be taken care of.

So how did I get to the point I have to ask others for help? Shortly before Father's Day 2009, I fell and broke my foot. When it didn't heal, I went to my primary with a broken foot and came out with a broken heart. After the shock wore off from the doctor telling me that I was going to die if I didn't have valve surgery; I started asking questions.

I didn't quite believe him and thought he was over reacting when he told me I was going to die because I walked and ran 3-5 times weekly and even did strenuous yard work. I felt fine and have 4 children aged 9-26 and kept up with them and stayed very active in things they did; but I was a ticking time bomb just waiting for the right time for my heart to stop.

He sent me to several specialists who said I had nothing really wrong, just some mild valve problems associated with aging; which was a huge relief. Everything seemed normal except my EKG's; they showed I had a huge amount of PVC's (premature ventricular contractions) roughly 50,000 “extra” heartbeats daily.

My heart didn't really beat fully; it only quivered like a bowl of jello day in day out. The problem with it beating like this is, the heart becomes very ineffective at pumping and your cardiac output drops and heart muscle damage can occur.

The cardiologist and electrophysiologist I saw did extensive testing and recommended more testing in the hospital. I went in for a sleep study, Tilt table test and EP Study with Ablation. The sleep study revealed I had moderately severe sleep apnea and my oxygen goes from 99% down to 73% at night making it very dangerous for me when I sleep.

The tilt table test was the first inkling that something dangerous was going on inside. I fainted and had no palpable pulse; which is a very rare thing to happen. I was diagnosed with Dysautonomia - Neurocardiogenic Syncope and Orthostatic Intolerance.
I then had an ablation to burn the extra pathways in my heart and get rid of the pvc's I was living with daily. I was told this would be a relatively easy process and given a 95% success rate to get rid of the extra beats completely but it never crossed my mind that anything would happen.

What preliminary tests failed to show, is the pattern and origin of my arrhythmias were in a very dangerous spot to ablate - the RV Apex – in the bottom thin underside of the heart.

During the EP Study, I went into cardiac arrest and my heart stopped completely with no rhythm they could shock (Asystole), some how it started again for a few minutes but then stopped again. They were able to shock me back to normal sinus rhythm and luckily, the third time it stopped; it restarted on it's own so I didn't have to be shocked again.

I was diagnosed with Polymorphic Ventricular Tachycardia; a very dangerous, life threatening arrhythmia. I stayed in the hospital for 4 days trying to find a cause and to be prepped for an ICD (implantable cardiac defibrillator).

It took a cardiac catherization to finally find the problem and to show I had HOCM (obstructive Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy) and internal high pressures in my valves.

My regular EP had to go out of town after the first procedure, so his partner had to do the implant; he wasn't as skilled as my regular dr and botched the lead implants.

When they checked the leads the next day before releasing me, they found a problem with the lead placement but the dr said it was "ok" and sent me home. Since then, I've had nothing but problems with the unit and been told by several other EP's I need to have the leads replaced and the ICD could be causing part of my problems.

Doctors think my other problems are related to HOCM (obstructive hypertrophic cardiomyopathy) and Autonomic nervous system failure and when I faint, my heart stops briefly causing damage each time this happens.

After the procedure, my body started failing from the damage it sustained the 4 times my heart stopped. My original cardiologist told me I would be in a wheel chair and totally dependent on others for everything by the time I'm 50; which is daunting because in March I'll be 45 and I can't deny the facts - my body is failing.

I was put on 10,000g sodium daily, water/fluid loading, Midodrine (insurance won't cover it $312 - 30 day supply), Propanolol, Pantoprazole, pain meds, suppression hose and binders as well as having to stay supine the majority of the day - which caused my heart failure to worsen and my EF (ejection fraction) to go down.

Nothing the doctor's have tried has helped, I still faint and my heart stops on a daily basis and I never know from one day to the next if something is going to trigger fluid build up and I have an acute attack.

In June 2011 I fainted falling into the side of my tiled tub, lacerating the side of my head in the process, severely sprained my neck and suffered a concussion. After that episode, I became a bit more cautious with every move I make because the dr found declining neurological functioning and mild brain damage; he said any more falls could lead to permanent major brain damage.

With so many previous medical bills and co-pays, I can't afford the 20% co-insurance to have my ICD replaced and Mayo Clinic wants a $5,000 deposit up front even with insurance. My ICD alone is $125,000, leads another $30,000 and then there's the doctor and hospital fees; which I won't know the cost until the procedure is done.

Each heart rhythm specialist and cardiologist I see tell me there is nothing more they can do after going over my history and treatments; I have a long hard fight to go and I have to just be thankful each day I'm alive. Some days I'm really glad I made it through, other days when the problems and pain take over; I wish the dr's had let me die.

I developed PTSD after the procedure, panic disorder and extreme agoraphobia. I went into such a deep depression over my health issues, I was afraid I would never see the lighter side of things again. I finally went to see a psychologist who prescribed Lamictal and diagnosed me with Bi-Polar disorder which has helped greatly but I still struggle on a daily basis.

One day we were just the “normal” every day family and the toughest thing we had to deal with is a child with Autism. Then; our whole lives changed in an instant we were dealing with mounting medical bills, expensive prescriptions, tests, appointments, loss of income and dealing with the possibility of death on a daily basis.

You just never know what the day may bring, so keep those you love close to you and never take one second for granted.
From the bottom of my heart thank you - even if it's support to say hey; I'm here if you need to talk or I know how you're feeling.

I've decided to try and get help through donations http://www.giveforward.com/unbreakmyheart and funding http://unbreakmyheart2011.blogspot.com/from outside sources since every doctor I've seen in 2 years agree that I need the leads to my ICD (defibrillator) replaced; but shuffle me back to the original doctor and wash their hands of me.

I'm raising funds for ICD replacement surgery, to go see a HOCM specialist (Dr. Craig Asher) at Cleveland Clinic in S. Florida and to have advanced testing through Vanderbilt Autonomic Center in Tennessee.

I don't want to admit I need help; I've always been a strong, independent person who took care of everything and everyone. In August 2009, my whole world changed. After my procedure, I applied for disability and was turned down twice and had to hire an attorney. I went from being "super" mom, wife & friend and care taker of an Autistic son to being the one who had to be taken care of.

So how did I get to the point I have to ask others for help? Shortly before Father's Day 2009, I fell and broke my foot. When it didn't heal, I went to my primary with a broken foot and came out with a broken heart. After the shock wore off from the doctor telling me that I was going to die if I didn't have valve surgery; I started asking questions.

I didn't quite believe him and thought he was over reacting when he told me I was going to die because I walked and ran 3-5 times weekly and even did strenuous yard work. I felt fine and have 4 children aged 9-26 and kept up with them and stayed very active in things they did; but I was a ticking time bomb just waiting for the right time for my heart to stop.

He sent me to several specialists who said I had nothing really wrong, just some mild valve problems associated with aging; which was a huge relief. Everything seemed normal except my EKG's; they showed I had a huge amount of PVC's (premature ventricular contractions) roughly 50,000 “extra” heartbeats daily.

My heart didn't really beat fully; it only quivered like a bowl of jello day in day out. The problem with it beating like this is, the heart becomes very ineffective at pumping and your cardiac output drops and heart muscle damage can occur.

The cardiologist and electrophysiologist I saw did extensive testing and recommended more testing in the hospital. I went in for a sleep study, Tilt table test and EP Study with Ablation. The sleep study revealed I had moderately severe sleep apnea and my oxygen goes from 99% down to 73% at night making it very dangerous for me when I sleep.

The tilt table test was the first inkling that something dangerous was going on inside. I fainted and had no palpable pulse; which is a very rare thing to happen. I was diagnosed with Dysautonomia - Neurocardiogenic Syncope and Orthostatic Intolerance.
I then had an ablation to burn the extra pathways in my heart and get rid of the pvc's I was living with daily. I was told this would be a relatively easy process and given a 95% success rate to get rid of the extra beats completely but it never crossed my mind that anything would happen.

What preliminary tests failed to show, is the pattern and origin of my arrhythmias were in a very dangerous spot to ablate - the RV Apex – in the bottom thin underside of the heart.

During the EP Study, I went into cardiac arrest and my heart stopped completely with no rhythm they could shock (Asystole), some how it started again for a few minutes but then stopped again. They were able to shock me back to normal sinus rhythm and luckily, the third time it stopped; it restarted on it's own so I didn't have to be shocked again.

I was diagnosed with Polymorphic Ventricular Tachycardia; a very dangerous, life threatening arrhythmia. I stayed in the hospital for 4 days trying to find a cause and to be prepped for an ICD (implantable cardiac defibrillator).

It took a cardiac catherization to finally find the problem and to show I had HOCM (obstructive Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy) and internal high pressures in my valves.

My regular EP had to go out of town after the first procedure, so his partner had to do the implant; he wasn't as skilled as my regular dr and botched the lead implants.

When they checked the leads the next day before releasing me, they found a problem with the lead placement but the dr said it was "ok" and sent me home. Since then, I've had nothing but problems with the unit and been told by several other EP's I need to have the leads replaced and the ICD could be causing part of my problems.

Doctors think my other problems are related to HOCM (obstructive hypertrophic cardiomyopathy) and Autonomic nervous system failure and when I faint, my heart stops briefly causing damage each time this happens.

After the procedure, my body started failing from the damage it sustained the 4 times my heart stopped. My original cardiologist told me I would be in a wheel chair and totally dependent on others for everything by the time I'm 50; which is daunting because in March I'll be 45 and I can't deny the facts - my body is failing.

I was put on 10,000g sodium daily, water/fluid loading, Midodrine (insurance won't cover it $312 - 30 day supply), Propanolol, Pantoprazole, pain meds, suppression hose and binders as well as having to stay supine the majority of the day - which caused my heart failure to worsen and my EF (ejection fraction) to go down.

Nothing the doctor's have tried has helped, I still faint and my heart stops on a daily basis and I never know from one day to the next if something is going to trigger fluid build up and I have an acute attack.

In June 2011 I fainted falling into the side of my tiled tub, lacerating the side of my head in the process, severely sprained my neck and suffered a concussion. After that episode, I became a bit more cautious with every move I make because the dr found declining neurological functioning and mild brain damage; he said any more falls could lead to permanent major brain damage.

With so many previous medical bills and co-pays, I can't afford the 20% co-insurance to have my ICD replaced and Mayo Clinic wants a $5,000 deposit up front even with insurance. My ICD alone is $125,000, leads another $30,000 and then there's the doctor and hospital fees; which I won't know the cost until the procedure is done.

Each heart rhythm specialist and cardiologist I see tell me there is nothing more they can do after going over my history and treatments; I have a long hard fight to go and I have to just be thankful each day I'm alive. Some days I'm really glad I made it through, other days when the problems and pain take over; I wish the dr's had let me die.

I developed PTSD after the procedure, panic disorder and extreme agoraphobia. I went into such a deep depression over my health issues, I was afraid I would never see the lighter side of things again. I finally went to see a psychologist who prescribed Lamictal and diagnosed me with Bi-Polar disorder which has helped greatly but I still struggle on a daily basis.

One day we were just the “normal” every day family and the toughest thing we had to deal with is a child with Autism. Then; our whole lives changed in an instant we were dealing with mounting medical bills, expensive prescriptions, tests, appointments, loss of income and dealing with the possibility of death on a daily basis.

You just never know what the day may bring, so keep those you love close to you and never take one second for granted.

From the bottom of my heart thank you - even if it's support to say hey; I'm here if you need to talk or I know how you're feeling.

I was married for 4 years to a person who had lied to me about his past and identity. He told me his wife before me was pregnant and killed by a drunk driver, he went to Texas A&M, and that he had earned medals serving as a marine. NONE of it was true. He deserted his first wife as he did me. He never went to college and he ordered medals off the internet. He used my SSN to open an AMEX card online and ran it up into thousands and thousands. I didn't know it existed. My father had to pay it to keep me out of serious trouble. He became physically and verbally violent. Pushed me out of a car on the interstate, held a gun to my head..scared me. I kept everything hidden from the world around me. Tried to keep up my appearance smiling. I tried to get him mental help but he only vanished on me. The divorce was exhausting. I am a first grade teacher, well respected in the community, and it took all I had to get up every morning for my children. I need some money to help me get back into life. Get on my feet. Afford some professional help to heal and move forward, forgive, forget, stop crying and fearing life and people, pay off debt...and to just lift all this burden and be happy again. I just want to be happy and stop crying every morning and night. I can't stand it anymore. I must move forward.

I just want to get these things paid off and get on with my life. Find ameaningless job that pays the bills and attempt to live my life out in a dark corner somewhere where nobodoy bothers me any more. i am at my wit's end. 90 calls per month from sallie mae. I can set my sleep and eating schedule by the way they call, once at 8:30 AM, once at 1:30 pm, and once at 7pm. Sometimes more depending on how they are set up, and from how many callcenters they are operating. I am depressed, hopeless, and unemployed. I have been looking through 2 HEARTBREAKING YEARS of unemployment, and my degree is useless and obsolete now. If things continue as they are I'm scheduled to retire about fifteen years after my 115th birthday. I am angry, suicidally depressed, anxious, hopeless, all of that rolled into one big human ball of failed promises, traumatic experiences, abusive relationships and broken dreams. I want to be able to heal. To get back on my feet and limp my way toward recovery, and that's how people can help me. I need to get out of debt. i can't take this anymore. i have a paypal account so please click on it. I would appreciate some help, and any amount will do. I have to get 75,000 of my back and this has proven an impossible task.

I'm using BegsList to ask for donations to support my transition from a low-paying sales job to a meaningful career in the healing arts. I was blessed to be accepted into a highly selective program & upon graduation, I will have developed my inherent talents for holistic healing & wellness and begin serving others by offering various natural & organic-based therapies for skin issues & other ailments. While I will receive very limited loans via financial aid, they will not cover over $5000 of my tuition, not to mention living expenses. I am willing to work while in school, but would prefer to focus on my studies and offer my full energy to my clients when I begin my clinicals. I am a deeply spiritual & meditative young man who has earned a golden opportunity. I just need some help from compassionate, like-minded, & generous donors to allow my dream to manifest into reality. I am also a generous spirit who has offered many of my talents... writing, music, cooking, and others... free of charge to many people via blogging & other forums. I vow to use my education to help heal individuals, educate on holistic healing arts, & change the world in the most positive ways I possibly can. I will pay it forward. Of this, you can rest assured. If you have read thus far, thank you! You are likely a very intuitive & health-conscious individual. Please feel the energy of these words & allow my honesty, dedication to my life's purpose, & mostly your own heart- guide you in deciding whether or not to help me in the pursuit of my deepest desire: to truly be of service to others by gaining the expertise required to help them heal themselves. Thank you so much and all the Best for a Prosperous & Peaceful 2012!

9 months ago my father in law died. very suddenly. It was a very sad time for all of us. My mother in law doesnt have alot of money. the reason why she wants to go down south to the caribbean is to spread a pendant that she had made with his ashes in it on the beach. she has had a rough year but she is starting to heal. i just think if she had this trip. it would make all the difference in the world to her. to put a little bit of him where they loved to be most. anyone that could help i would really appreciate it. it would be the best gift we could give her. with your help thankyou

I need this house to heal from the damage that my husbands alcoholism has caused. I suffer from depression for the first time in my life, and my son has depression and a.d.d. He is having cataract surgery at the age of 22. We need this house to heal and force my husband to make a choice. It will cut my drive time in half to work too. I live in a house of pain and depression, this house I wish to buy is a house of peace. I need about $ 20,000 to buy it at auction. Won't someone please help? Thank You for reading this.

I’m out of work for two years partly due to a layoff and breaking my collarbone that took a year to heal. I have ran out of my employment benefits. So, I’m in desperate need to pay my bills but I have no income. I went to all services I can find but there was no assistance available. So, I beg of someone who is compassionate to my situation to help me so that I won't lose my apartment, car or get my utilities turn off. I working so hard to find work but I just need any money to get me by to makes end meet. Because I know that God will help through this, so I hoping you can allow him to use you to help me. I would be grateful and bless if you do. Thank you
Shakia
If you want to contact me for further info you can email me shakia20024ever@aol.com

i have medical bills reaching into the thousands because i lost medical insurance at the age of 18 due to not being able to afford college, ever sense i was a child i have ear problems ranging from over 4 sets of tubes, chronic ear and infections that lead to pollups, an ear sergury that made me go def in my left ear, the infections get so bad that they cannot heal themselves and must be treated, the economy is terrible where i am at and i now am recieving courtdates to attend, i recieved my first supena a few days ago. i dont want to ruin my future over something i cant help

hello...my name is misti...i am 35 yrs old and am the single mom of 2 beautiful girls who are my whole life and they are the reason i am here asking for help. a year ago i ended up getting really sick. for 8 months they didnt know what was wrong with me. after 8 months of hospital stays and every kind of test you can think of they finally figured out that i had a fungal infection in my throat that ended up getting into my bloodstream. i had to have surgery and had to have some of my throat cut out. it took about 3 months to heal and im finally better. this sickness caused me to lose my job of 12 years. i ended up losing everything. i had to move in with my grandparents. i have been trying to get a job with not much luck. im trying to live on what little child support that i do get but with trying to help my grandparent with bills and food and keeping my kids with the things they need, there just isnt enough. if i was just me i would be ok but i have my children and they are suffering and they need things i can give them because i dont have enough money right now. if there is anyone out there with a big enough heart to help a mother get by until i can get a job please know that i would greatly appreciate it. it hurts that i cant provide for my children right now and i would do anything for my children even if it means coming here and begging for help. please find it in your heart to not only help me but help my children.

Hi,

My name is Jeff. I am 41 and currently living in Nashville, TN. I made this page in extreme desperation asking for financial help with my right leg. There is a picture of the ulcer on my right ankle, which is also painfully swollen, as well as pictures of the varicose veins on my blog. I never ask for anyone’s help, ever, but I am now humbled to ask for your help, it’s probably my last bit of hope.

I have varicose veins very badly in my right leg, and its been a 25 year-old problem which has been getting slowly worse over time. I also got a venous stasis ulcer on my right ankle last year from the vein problems. This was a nightmare for me as it took almost a year to heal over leaving a very bad scar.

I need to have Endovenous Laser Treatment (ELT) surgery on my leg very soon or I will probably lose my leg I’m told. I also need to have cosmetic surgery for the horrible scar on my ankle.

I need $7,500 for ELT surgery very soon and I do not have medical insurance. The cost of cosmetic surgery varies but it is estimated to be $5,000 to $10,000. The grand total I am trying to raise is $20,000 to be certain I have enough money to recover from all this and as I may miss some time from work.

I do work FT right now but I simply cannot afford health coverage, I am living by the skin of my teeth currently just barely making rent. Also the state of TN will not let me have TennCare, I’ve tried many times and got told even some people with cancer cannot get TennCare – just crazy.

So I am asking you today if you could find it in your heart to donate even a few dollars (or a significant amount) to my cause I would be so very grateful to you!

If you can help me please donate with PayPal at my blog: http://helpjeffsleg.wordpress.com

I will be updating my blog regularly about my progress towards my goal.

Thank you for visiting and may God bless you!

Jeff Gillispie

Hello, I have just recently medically retired from the Marine Corps after 13 years of faithful service. I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister and a friend. However lately, with all the changes I have had to endure, I have felt invisible. I injured my back during martial arts training and didnt seek the medical attention I needed until it was too late. I had even gotten to half way of my Marine Corps Marathon training but had to stop due to numbness and tingling in the feet. Once I finally did try to get the medical attention I needed, I was told I had a somatoform disorder, which means the pain is all in my head and not in my body at all. After seeing a Navy shrink I was told I had a personality disorder and he submitted a Administrative discharge request to my Commanding Officer, I was devastated. I loved the Marine Corps and everything that came with it. I had no intentions of leaving it and only wanted to get better and seek proper care. Instead of getting the help I needed medically, I had to fight to keep my career and lively hood. After further tests, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, a pinched nerve, carpal tunnel in both wrists and buldging discs. I had to be seperated medically. Depression is not even close to the word to describe what I fell into. My goal-dream was to be a Drill Instuctor, fight a good fight over seas and put in 20 years. In the blink of an eye it was all gone. Now I had to let go of my aspirations of what could have been and now try to figure out what I was good for now. A little bit about my self:I was raised in Austin, Texas by my maternal grandparents, left by my biological mother at 15 days old on Christmas Day 1975. I endured a strict upbringing and borderline abuse, much due to my grandmother’s fear of becoming my "mothers, daughter". I have never known who my father is and doubt he knows I even exist. I had been the witness and the victim of neglect and child abuse by my mother who was and is still heavily into alcohol and drugs. She had two more daughters in which I helped raise up until they were left in another state with relatives. It was then that I left to the Marine Corps at the age of 19, mostly to find myself and forget myself. During one tour in California, I was made aware that one of my sisters, 7 years my junior, was in need of my help due to abuse from the relative she was left with. An uncle who had abused her from the age of 6 until she was 12. I took emergency leave and went to get her, I already married with a newborn, and I knew I had to lend a hand and help. The abuse and trauma was too severe and the state of California took custody of her after a failed suicide attempt in her high school. I continued my military service until I received yet another call, this time for my youngest sister, 12 years my junior, was in states custody and if I could provide a stable home for her. I was now a single mother of a 4 year old and still an active duty Marine, but again, could not turn my back on the need she had. I put in the time and the effort, attending family counseling 5hours away and meeting with doctors and lawyers to get the process started to get her into a stable situation. Finally at the age of 14 she was placed with me and I was granted custody. I enrolled her in to high school and away we went onward and upward in our life. It was not close to "traditional" but we had each other and that was more than what most have. I received orders to Japan for 3 years accompanied and although I had reservations about the huge change I took it in stride. I had pleaded my case to the Marines about staying until my sister graduated in 2years but at the need of the Corps I was sent anyway. In Japan, after only being there for about 6months, my sister started to self mutilate again. With that the military sent me back to my previous base and committed her to a hospital immediately. After a 30 day stay and with support and guidance she eventually got to a place where she could receive the help she needed to heal. She graduated from high school and is now in the medical field working full time and engaged. After that chapter closed the new one with my medical mishaps in the Corps started full force. I am not one to really get or ask for help, and have been in the business of giving but I am hoping now in the oddest of places, maybe I can, with my story inspire someone to pay it forward and lend a hand. I thank any donation and appreciate any amounts. I am trying to start my own resale shop online and hope with some assistance I can get to a better place in my life as sometimes the future seems real dim. Thank you in advance and God bless.

After dealing with severe pain since January I was able to get my surgery on October 12th but I got an infection so I am still recovering from that. Its going to take me much longer to heal and I have to go back to the doctor next month. I unable to work and therefore, I need help financially for bills and medical supplies. Anything that you can give is greatly appreciate and a blessing! For

More information and to Donate visit:

http://crystalm.chipin.com/crystals-recovery-fund

Thank you and God Bless You!

Crystal