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It all started 5 years ago on June 17, 2006. . .a day I will remember for the rest of my life. It was the day before Fathers Day and we were driving with our 14 month old son to his grandmothers house when and SUV ran a stop sign slamming into us causing our vehicle to roll landing upside down. They say my fiance (my sons father) was partially ejected and killed instantly.

He didn't have life insurance, and since we were only engaged, there were no survivors benefits and so it was just me, my 14 month old, two dogs, and an old house built in 1927 and a laundry list of repairs that needed to be done.

After my fiance died, I think a part of me just shut down. There was so much to deal with. . .working full time, being a single parent with no support. All my family lives 6 hours away, and my fiances family never wanted anything to do with us and after the accident all communication stopped and I was alone.

So, I shut the doors to the upstairs of our two bedroom Cape Cod, and made my bed on the Living Room couch so that I could rock my son in his bouncy chair everytime he woke at night. . .on average 4 times a night.

I did the best I could over the years. During all this my Dad was a huge emotional support for me. We talked every day, he encouraged me to stay strong and I did the same for him (he was diagnosed with milodisplastic syndrome in 2005)his blood transfusions really took a toll on him and his physical weakness really depressed him. I know he worried about me alot because I would always call him for advise on how to fix things or ask him questions about car stuff. He was my rock and he died October 4, 2008 from complications with pneumonia. He was buried on his birthday October 8 when he would have been 56.

His death is still hard to handle. My rock my best friend and advisor was gone and now I realized I was truly alone. Not only did I not have anyone to help me with my son, or with the house or the car, but now I didn't have anyone I could really talk to that could just listen and be my guide.

All this happened so suddenly. My now 3 year old son and I stayed up North for a week after my Fathers death. There was a lot of planning and funeral arrangements to be made that during the midst of all this, 6 hours away in my little Cape Cod were the two dogs. . .Joe, a shepard and chow mix, and Rex, a shepard and Rotti mix left to their own devices. All I could do was pray that the damage wouldn't be too terrible.

I tried calling a neighbor to check on the dogs, but in our unexplained absence the dogs became extremely protective of the house and wouldn't let anyone it.

When we finally came home, there was definately a mess. I had to rip up all the carpet by myself the stench was horrible and the dust and dirt under the padding from 10 year old carpet caused more than one sinus infection. After a month I had all the carpet ripped up and have not been able to replace it.

After working and saving and with help from my Mom, in 2009 I was able to hire a Contractor that had been highly recommended to me by a friend of mine. He raved about how great they were and what a good job they did for him. We had a contract for about $19,000. This was to replace all the windows, replace the kitchen cabinets, new countertop, appliances, paint, everything the house needed after being neglected for over 10 years. So they came and painted and left. Six months later they came back with 5 of the 13 windows, installed the windows, but left the casements on the inside open and torn leaving exposed the Lead Paint and the original wood framing. Then in August 2009, they had the kitchen cabinets delivered to my house and they were stored outside on the porch. I called and called to find out when they would be put in, and no response. They stayed outside through the Fall and through the winter when we got three feet of snow and I called and begged and sent text messages and one day their phone number was disconnected. Then in June 2010 they called me!! They would come install the cabinets. So they came and tore out the stove and the kitchen sink and installed the cabinets and put a slab on granite down so I could have a work area and said they would be back with the stove and dishwasher and sink. They never came back. So I had kitchen cabinets and no stove, no sink, no dishwasher. Then in July, Rex, the Rotti Shepard mix got really sick. The vet said he was starting kidney failure. They kept him and did IV treatment and got his kidneys functioning and they said he need a bland diet of boiled chicken and rice. I had no stove. I tried calling the contractors I yelled, I begged, I sent text messages and finally out of desparation I went and bought the cheapest stove I could just to be able to boil water for my dog.

The dog survived, but his survival was short lived. In October 2010 on the anniversary of my Fathers death, I had to put the dog to sleep. He was suffering from the samething my father had. He couldn't produce red blood cells anymore and would have to live off of blood transfusions. One of the hardest choices I've ever made.

Now here we are in 2011. Memorial Day I almost lost my now 6 year old son in a near drowning incident at a friends pool. Thank God the husband knew CPR and was able to revive him. He stayed overnight in ICU for monitoring but he is now a happy healthy 1st grader.

Me. . .I'm barely keeping it together. I can't afford to take care of my home. The carpet was never replaced and there is a horrible draft in the Winter and the Lead Paint is still exposed. The upstairs windows are leaking and there are water spots on the ceiling. There is a 4" crack in the basement foundation wall that goes all the way down the wall and across the basement floor to the other side of the house. I was told that the footing is slipping and that it was only a matter of time before the house caved. The gutters are falling off the house from age and the deck rails are falling off. I fear for our safety, but mostly, I'm afraid for my son. I want to give him a safe and healthy environment, but I need help.

Please, if there is anyone out there that can help us, I would be eternally grateful. In the meantime, I will keep praying and belive that everything happens for a reason.

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After leaving catering college at the age of just 20, I embarked on my career, but it was taken away along with my life just a few months later, ( im now 55 ) during college my dad died of cancer, it had been my turn to watch over him that night, I was just 15 years old, and I awoke to find that he had died during the night, his hand had locked on to mine whelst I had been a sleep, and I had to have it removed by my big sister, I cannot forget this it broke my heart,my dad was just 47 when he died, it affected me for the rest of my life.

It also profundley changed my mothers demeaner, it changed her, and I was last to leave the family home, and it was so hard.

To make matters worse only a few years ago my mother passed on, and I was away dealing with my own medical problem at the time and missed her passing on, I wanted to say goodbye, it haunts me to this day, that my parents left this world in such a manner.

I am in my late 50s now, back in the early 70s, I was a passenger in a friends car, he pulled out into the path of another car, onto a fast piece of road, and our car was hit at over 90 miles an hour. My seat belt broke with the impact, and I was thrown through the cars windscreen. I, landed on the tarmac and next the car I had been in was bulldozed over my body.

It bulldozed the other car on to my neck and chest, trapping me under it. My arms were pinned to my chest by the cars sill, and my neck was bent up against a cold granite wall, my right leg was wrapped around the back axle. I was ready to die, but held on to life with every passing breath, god must have been watching over me that night.

It took the fire crew an hour to cut me out, then it was off to the hospital, on arrival all my clothes were cut from my body, on examination it was found that my right leg was near on severed from the knee, and was hanging on by a thread of my skin.

In addition I had 4 broken ribs, severe cuts and bruises everywhere and a small spilt in my skull, this skull spilt was not significant at the time, but would go on to ruin my entire life. My mouth was full of broken windscreen glass and I was vomiting blood because of it. Back in the 70s there was no MRI scanner so I was just given an X ray of my head.

Because my leg was the main problem the little split in my skull was just left then as being nothing, but it would play a big part in my life. After being cleaned up and admitted to the ward, I settled back to a 12 week stay, and Around the 3 week mark of being in hospital, the surgeon said there was now no chance of me being able to walk again on my right leg.

I broke down in tears, cried a river and could not understand why me. During my stay in hospital my boss came in and told me he could no longer keep my position open for me. This was devastating for me, I had worked so hard at college to be a chef, and had climbed my way up the ranks to be a chef in charge.

And was now at the age of just 20 cooking in a world famous Hotel, and it was my life, I had left school only 5 years beofre the accident, and had studied at college to be a chef, now because of this crash my career was finished in one hit, my employer had spoken to the drs, who had said working in a kitchen enviroment would be to dangerous for me, so my career was over right there right then.

I now lay in the bed stunned and deeply hurt that because of this accident, I had now lost everything at the age of just twenty!. Then one day I noticed some feeling in my right legs big toe, I screamed for the nurse, and she brought along a Dr.
Over the coming weeks I fully regained the use of my right leg. Of course I thought everything was going to be alright, but from the day I left hospital some 35 years ago now to this day, I have suffered so much.

You see the knock on the head I had during the car crash, damaged the cerebellum part of my brain, a part called the cerebellum tonsil. The severe knock to my head caused the tonsil, to drop out of the cerebellum part of my brain a few mm. And for the last 35 years this part of my brain as been dropping slowley a few mm each year towards my brain stem.

The affect it as is to disturb the cerebral spinal fluid that goes around my brain. The tonsil dangles into a space where it should not be, disrupting the flow of csf, which in turns gives me a wide range of medical disorders.

I suffer with ringing sounds in both my ears every day, 7 days a week, I have headaches daily, coupled with dizziness sickness, and pain in spine and neck, some days i cant feel my legs or walk on them, some days my arms dont work, my balance is hopeless, I cant sleep for severe pain, I cry all the time in private because of the situation I have been in these last 35 years.

To look at me I look like any normal kinda guy but life as been so tough these last 35 years.
The brain surgeons that I have seen have told me that to operate as a 75% chance of death for me, so they prefer me to live with the disabilities until such a time when I become in risk of death, and then they will operate on me seeing theres no other option, this means I live with countless medical conditions all of which I have had to live with for 35 years.

These medical conditions have made my life a living hell, for 35 years ive been dizzy off balance, severe headaces, and forced to go to bed every night knowing that I could die at any given time.
I lay in bed with symptoms of my brain damage rushing all over my body, trying to think positive for 35 years, im now 55, and wish so very very much that I could have given my wife and children a proper home to live in, one we owned, in a nice area, and not to have had to rely on handouts from the goverment merely to excist.

I cry, ive cried oceans of tears in despair in private, while Ive tried to work a way out of this hell for my family and me,but of course my disabilies dont allow me to get a break, so just had to live it for 35 years, ive never stopped trying, but ive made my illness well worse, and just cant do it anymore.

I was a young man of just 20 years old, and my whole life and anyone who would be with me, had changed in the blink of an eye. We got no compensation back when I was 20, and I was a passenger!!! I got shafted by the insurance company, with no dad, and mum still grieving his death, I got ripped off by the othersides insurers. If I was able to just change one thing in my past, it would be to not except that lift in my friends car.

The worst thing about all of what happened to me is, that for the first 12 years after my accident none of the medical people we went to see knew what could be making me so very very ill, so it was hard to get any help at all, after 12 years of seeing hundreds of doctors, one of them finally!!! decided to allow me to have a full brain and spine MRI, but this same doctor had been writing in my medical records that I was a waste of time and that nothing would be found wrong with my brain.

He, had written in my medical notes that there would be no scan because it would be a waste of time, He then reluctently gave me a brain scan, and reported it has normal to my family doctor.
My wife then ordered up copies of my medical records from that doctors hospital, and we found that he had lied about my brain scan, the brain scan records stated that I had a very rare brain damage that would be caused by a trauma such as a car crash.

We can only think like our family doctor does, that the dr who had written my brain scan results to be normal, was trying to cover him self after years of writing in my medical record rubbish about me, and now seeing that I had a rare brain damage had tried to cover it up"!!!!.
I was so angry after the last 12 years of hell, and to now see that this showed that my brain had been damaged severely all those years before, and that I had been made to live in terror all those years that had just passed.

My family said we should get a solicitor to champion our case, and we did, but the one we chose was a bad one, who during our legal case was struck off for mishandling another bigger case, it was in all the newspapers, and when that solicitor was barred from practising, our case was left in such a state that no other solicitor would touch it.
We took my case to 3 other solicitors, all of which said that the 1st soliictor had ruined of chance of winning, and we were left to suffer.

All of these things have mede me so very very tired, plus heavy debt, all my medical symptoms to cope with, and tring to live on pennies, the goverment gives very small amounts to live on, it just about covers food rent and some of the other costs of life. My life, and others with me as been so hard since 20 years old, thes last 35 years feel like 200 years to my body and soul.

So many horrable things have happend to me, my whole life as been blighted from such a young age, ive tried, ive tried so hard, im tired now so very very tired,
As I write this, I find it hard to think, motavation is so hard, each day is full with pain, grief, despair, money truly is the only way we can feel a little better, but we cant get any, so its bills bills bills, we live, but we dont do any more than that.

Now its just me and my wife, who means everything to me, I want holidays and nice things in our home, but we live on pennies and are feeling the affects of what happened to myself 35 years ago. I want my wife to enjoy life the way we were ment too.

My wife helped me through every year and we have 3 wonderful children, these days its been tough trying to make a living owing to my disablement, in the early days of my children growing up, I tried with every part of my determination to make a good home for them, but we could only ever live in social housing, and it was so so hard growing up in some of the areas we had to live in.
As my health as gotten worse we took on debt to keep above water so to speak, benefits were no where enough to live on. my wife and I now owe £50,000 in loans and credit cards, all of which over the last 35 years as built up just to roof and feed our family, and pay ever increasingley high water electric and gas bills.

I have had my dignity taken at the age of just 20, 35 years ago, and have lived a hellish life of pain, and tearful memories of what I use to be. none of what happened to me was my doing, just a passenger in a car.
Any help that anyone out their can afford will help us to live a little bit better. Thanks in anticapation of anything you can afford to give, it will be used to make a better life for me and my wife thanks and good bless.

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