Five Tags

i am a fifty year old woman. i was married to a very abusvive man for 23 years because i did not realize i had options. i have three children and five grandchildren and because of the damage my abuser did to my credit, i have not owned a home since i ran for my life. i want to have a place for my grandchildren to come and visit. i now work for a not for profit organization helping battered women. The pay is just not enough for me to ever get ahead. i want my children to see me as successful. I will take any small donation. I am very depressed by my situation, and am looking for a place be where i can once again feel 'at home.

I am a single mom of three kids, I lost my job that I had for five yrs. I was without a job for 1 month and finally got a new one. But I am about to get evicted if I don't have $500 by Friday. I just a little help. I don't want my kids to end up homeless. I already loss my car. So can someone please help. Thanks so much.

I have a family of five in need of financial assistance to make ends meet this month. Our rent is due plus late fees which equals $1500. I recently decided to make a better future for my self and my family and decided to go to nursing school which by the way at the time sounded like a wonderful idea. I now have only 12 months left and we are sinking fast. My husband works his butt off to provide for myself and our three kids but recently work had dropped so we are now about to be evicted. I now have to choose between finishing school or quitting to get a job and help out. I am not a begger by choice and would gladly pay someone back over a monthly payment. PLEASE HELP IF YOU ARE ABLE!!!!!!!!!

for you five, for me life

Just $10-$20 from YOU, could help us make a dream come true, and possibly others on Begslist.com as well!!
As the housing bubble collapsed, my family and I could see the coming recession and its fall out coming. While my wife has a steady and secure job, and I ran a successful public relation business, we could not chance getting caught in the down pour of bad lending and foreclosure we saw coming. That was our last smart move.
As the recession, I might argue depression spread across the country and our town equally, like so many others, we found ourselves affected in ways we didn't see coming. My business began to fail, losing client after client to hard economic times, until those few clients who were left were asking for reduced costs, some even asking to keep services coming though they can not pay at this point. I have tried to oblige. I continue to serve many clients in trying to promote their products and services "pro-bono" so they can eek out a living in these times.
My wife has been great through all this. She works a steady "day job" to barely meet our monthly rent and bills.
We have tapped every credit card, and can't pay their monthly bills and fees. We have ruined our credit, believing if we could hold back the storm, and continue to help those we serve, we would be alright on the other end.
NOW, as home prices are finally in reach, we find that we can no longer qualify for the loan that would get us, and our five sons into a new home. With home costs once nearing and surpassing $200K, we can now buy the perfect home for $50K. That's what we're asking for now: $50K!! Banks, once far too anxious to give loans for over-priced homes to people who could not afford them, now turn us away for a much more reasonable loan that would actually lower our monthly expenses by almost 1/2. We now watch as wealthy investors snatch up the homes once financed by real families and foreclosed on. But in the time it takes to rebuild the credit we need to get financed, these moguls will have all of the properties and be renting them out to all of us who could not hope to own under these terms.
So we turn to YOU! A generous stranger, who can help make our dream come true. YOU can donate a small portion of this expense, and help us to make this dream come true. We are setting a goal of $50K, and hoping to beat the tide of greedy investors from owning what could be our new home. As we get closer to our goal we will use some of the thoughtful contributions we receive to repair the credit we have forfieted, so we might get the funding we need on our own through a bank. IF this happens, and we exceed donations needed, then we will donate the remaining funds to others on Begslist.com, including to the Begslist.com creator to continue to help neighbors help neighbors ... because we all need help sometimes!

Just $10-$20 from YOU, could help us make a dream come true, and possibly others on Begslist.com as well!!
As the housing bubble collapsed, my family and I could see the coming recession and its fall out coming. While my wife has a steady and secure job, and I ran a successful public relation business, we could not chance getting caught in the down pour of bad lending and foreclosure we saw coming. That was our last smart move.
As the recession, I might argue depression spread across the country and our town equally, like so many others, we found ourselves affected in ways we didn't see coming. My business began to fail, losing client after client to hard economic times, until those few clients who were left were asking for reduced costs, some even asking to keep services coming though they can not pay at this point. I have tried to oblige. I continue to serve many clients in trying to promote their products and services "pro-bono" so they can eek out a living in these times.
My wife has been great through all this. She works a steady "day job" to barely meet our monthly rent and bills.
We have tapped every credit card, and can't pay their monthly bills and fees. We have ruined our credit, believing if we could hold back the storm, and continue to help those we serve, we would be alright on the other end.
NOW, as home prices are finally in reach, we find that we can no longer qualify for the loan that would get us, and our five sons into a new home. With home costs once nearing and surpassing $200K, we can now buy the perfect home for $50K. That's what we're asking for now: $50K!! Banks, once far too anxious to give loans for over-priced homes to people who could not afford them, now turn us away for a much more reasonable loan that would actually lower our monthly expenses by almost 1/2. We now watch as wealthy investors snatch up the homes once financed by real families and foreclosed on. But in the time it takes to rebuild the credit we need to get financed, these moguls will have all of the properties and be renting them out to all of us who could not hope to own under these terms.
So we turn to YOU! A generous stranger, who can help make our dream come true. YOU can donate a small portion of this expense, and help us to make this dream come true. We are setting a goal of $50K, and hoping to beat the tide of greedy investors from owning what could be our new home. As we get closer to our goal we will use some of the thoughtful contributions we receive to repair the credit we have forfieted, so we might get the funding we need on our own through a bank. IF this happens, and we exceed donations needed, then we will donate the remaining funds to others on Begslist.com, including to the Begslist.com creator to continue to help neighbors help neighbors ... because we all need help sometimes!

Just $10-$20 from YOU, could help us make a dream come true, and possibly others on Begslist.com as well!!
As the housing bubble collapsed, my family and I could see the coming recession and its fall out coming. While my wife has a steady and secure job, and I ran a successful public relation business, we could not chance getting caught in the down pour of bad lending and foreclosure we saw coming. That was our last smart move.
As the recession, I might argue depression spread across the country and our town equally, like so many others, we found ourselves affected in ways we didn't see coming. My business began to fail, losing client after client to hard economic times, until those few clients who were left were asking for reduced costs, some even asking to keep services coming though they can not pay at this point. I have tried to oblige. I continue to serve many clients in trying to promote their products and services "pro-bono" so they can eek out a living in these times.
My wife has been great through all this. She works a steady "day job" to barely meet our monthly rent and bills.
We have tapped every credit card, and can't pay their monthly bills and fees. We have ruined our credit, believing if we could hold back the storm, and continue to help those we serve, we would be alright on the other end.
NOW, as home prices are finally in reach, we find that we can no longer qualify for the loan that would get us, and our five sons into a new home. With home costs once nearing and surpassing $200K, we can now buy the perfect home for $50K. That's what we're asking for now: $50K!! Banks, once far too anxious to give loans for over-priced homes to people who could not afford them, now turn us away for a much more reasonable loan that would actually lower our monthly expenses by almost 1/2. We now watch as wealthy investors snatch up the homes once financed by real families and foreclosed on. But in the time it takes to rebuild the credit we need to get financed, these moguls will have all of the properties and be renting them out to all of us who could not hope to own under these terms.
So we turn to YOU! A generous stranger, who can help make our dream come true. YOU can donate a small portion of this expense, and help us to make this dream come true. We are setting a goal of $50K, and hoping to beat the tide of greedy investors from owning what could be our new home. As we get closer to our goal we will use some of the thoughtful contributions we receive to repair the credit we have forfieted, so we might get the funding we need on our own through a bank. IF this happens, and we exceed donations needed, then we will donate the remaining funds to others on Begslist.com, including to the Begslist.com creator to continue to help neighbors help neighbors ... because we all need help sometimes!

Hi i am a mother of five and i need help paying my car payment i had loss my job because i got into a car accdient and not been able to work this car is the only way i can get my kids to and from school so if any body can help thank you

in a couple of weeks i will be homeless. after becoming unemployed two years ago i was living off money which i had from cashing in my retirement account. after taking a couple of months for leisure ( i hadn't had an actual vacation, aside from a long weekend here or there, for the past 12 years) i was in the beginning phase of starting a small business. then i had a heart attack. i had surgery to place a stent in one of my arteries. it seems that i was born with a twisted artery and had been living with it all my life suffering no ill effects. according to my doctor artery walls are fairly thin and pliable when one is young, but as a person ages the walls thicken and become less pliant. when you combine these two factors with the twist of the artery, the result is a cutoff of the flow of blood to the heart. my doctor said that had i waited another day to come into the hospital, i would have died. while the surgery left me weak, it was the anti-rejection medication that i was on which was the problem. it left me so tired and weak, that after a walk to and from the local bodega just two blocks from my apartment , after i walked in the door i had to lay the bags down and sit and rest for a half hour or more, before i could put groceries away or even thinking about standing up and preparing food. quite a change from when i was biking 5 miles a day/ five days a week and lifting weights several times a week. my bank account was swiftly drained due to the cost of the hospital stay/surgery, and to the cost of medications ($130/month).
once i was off the anti-rejection meds and feeling well enough to work, i began searching for a job seeing as my hope of starting a business drained away with the money in my bank account. but unfortunately, with the economy the way it is, i have been unsuccessful in my search. i am now virtually penniless and am being evicted from my apartment. i am have sold off what few possessions i have in order to have some cash to buy the things i need for living on the streets, but the accumulated amount came to less than $100.

monetary donations via paypal are more than welcome,
i have also created a wish list at amazon.com for certain things that will be very helpful for me to have while i am homeless, but which i can not in anyway afford.

http://amzn.com/w/298Q89SP8GLCZ

i have left comments next to each item to explain why i feel the need for it. e-giftcards from amazon would also be helpful.

I am a single mother of five and I am in desperate need of someone to help me pay my rent of $700 that was due, May 5th 2012.

I'm currently unemployed because my youngest son is 5 months old but was born 2 1/2 months premature. Right now I cant put him in daycare because his immune system isn't fully developed and he cant fight off infections or illness.

I have tried to raise the money on my own but have very little options and spend all my time indoors with my baby.

Please! I don't want to be on the street with my children and this is really my last hope for a miracle.
Thank You

My trustee Dan I. is stealing money from my dad's trust. My son has CP and I have a bad back and am incontinent due to back surgery. I need another surgery. My trust has millions but the trustee says "no" like Scrooge. He told me to wear diapers! I need a lawyer but I need a retainer. Help me! By the way my trustee Dan is gay and molested me when I was five, he made me perform fellatio and held my mouth closed until I swallowed. He needs to be put in his place.

Hello...I desperately need your help. My fiance and I have been together for the last five years. Three years ago he was working as a volunteer coach for a soccer team and the school he used to teach at. One day in soccer practice he jumped for a ball, lost his footing, and fell on his neck. He fractured a vertebrae which left him in excruciating pain. To make matters worse, as the bone healed it left a bone spur at the base of his head that pushes on the nerve bundle next to his brain stem. Gradually, as the spur grew bigger it made him paralyzed from the neck down. We have obviously put our wedding on hold to deal with this unfortunate fate. I work three jobs just to make the minimum payments on his medical bills and I take care of him whenever I am not working.
Because of the proximity of the bone spur to his brain stem, no doctor in the U.S. will touch it to operate on it. However, we have consulted with a doctor in Germany that practices surgery like this every day. He says with the surgery my fiance would be able to regain the use of most of his body with a lot of intensive physical therapy. But...the surgery costs right around $25,000 which might as well be 25 million. I spend every penny I make just barely scraping by. I know this surgery would give him back his freedom and his ability to live the way he always dreamed. Please help us...every little bit counts. I appreciate anything you can do.

I am in need of donations on medical bills that i have total $10,000.00. I need help i had surgery on my left knee could could not go to work for five months i need help.

The main reason I joined the police department is to help others. Unfortunately, due to the economic downfall, I have not had a raise in five years and opportunities for overtime are slim. I am making under basic officer pay, which is not that much. In addition, cost of leaving, healthcare, lawyer fees and pension contributions have skyrocketed. Many of my brother’s in blue have lost their homes and even had their vehicles repossessed (yes at the police station). I have been lucky to keep my job and am very thankful for that. My wife and kid both had inpatient surgery costing me thousands out of pocket. Due to my wife having complications with childbirth, an unknown blood disorder, and debilitating lower back/hip pain, I will continue looking for a cure for her no matter what the cost. I love my family and will do anything for them. With that said, I have $32,000 in student loans that I am unable to pay at this time and I am at risk of defaulting which will devastate my chances of applying for a much needed car loan. I am asking for any financial assistance to help me pay off my student loan and medical expenses. It is my greatest joy to help those that are in need and yes even die trying. I am in desperate need of your assistance. Thank you.

The main reason I joined the police department is to help others. Unfortunately, due to the economic downfall, I have not had a raise in five years and opportunities for overtime are slim. I am making under basic officer pay, which is not that much. In addition, cost of leaving, healthcare, lawyer fees and pension contributions have skyrocketed. Many of my brother’s in blue have lost their homes and even had their vehicles repossessed (yes at the police station). I have been lucky to keep my job and am very thankful for that. My wife and kid both had inpatient surgery costing me thousands out of pocket. Due to my wife having complications with childbirth, an unknown blood disorder, and debilitating lower back/hip pain, I will continue looking for a cure for her no matter what the cost. I love my family and will do anything for them. With that said, I have $32,000 in student loans that I am unable to pay at this time and I am at risk of defaulting which will devastate my chances of applying for a much needed car loan. I am asking for any financial assistance to help me pay off my student loan and medical expenses. It is my greatest joy to help those that are in need and yes even die trying. I am in desperate need of your assistance. Thank you.

The main reason I joined the police department is to help others. Unfortunately, due to the economic downfall, I have not had a raise in five years and opportunities for overtime are slim. I am making under basic officer pay, which is not that much. In addition, cost of leaving, healthcare, lawyer fees and pension contributions have skyrocketed. Many of my brother’s in blue have lost their homes and even had their vehicles repossessed (yes at the police station). I have been lucky to keep my job and am very thankful for that. My wife and kid both had inpatient surgery costing me thousands out of pocket. Due to my wife having complications with childbirth, an unknown blood disorder, and debilitating lower back/hip pain, I will continue looking for a cure for her no matter what the cost. I love my family and will do anything for them. With that said, I have $32,000 in student loans that I am unable to pay at this time and I am at risk of defaulting which will devastate my chances of applying for a much needed car loan. I am asking for any financial assistance to help me pay off my student loan and medical expenses. It is my greatest joy to help those that are in need and yes even die trying. I am in desperate need of your assistance. Thank you.

hi i need help i lost my job i have no money to even pay my bills there are five people me my dad and mom and two kids im the only one that can work right now my dads on ssi my mom has lupus we are running out of time we are about to be kicked out on the streets we have tried every thing to help ourselves but nothing is working if any one can help i would greatly love it

I have anxiety disorder, sometimes raging agoraphobia and also fell in 2007, causing two vertebrae to bulge and also did some nerve damage to my left arm. I suffer from severe back pain, hip and leg pain everyday and I drop things with my left had constantly! I tried and tried to push on, through the pain and depression I had but finally cracked and I was laid off in 2010 from my job for not being able to handle the pain or the pressure and stress and shortly thereafter met a guy who I will call Jake. Jake has panic disorder, agoraphobia and dependent personality disorder. His family had abandoned him, his friends had become fatigued with his panic attacks. He was in a bad situation being abused by someone who was taking advantage of his disabilities. My mother had over 20 years of suffering this type of illness and was in an abusive marriage, and I had had my own issues with anxiety and depression so I felt I had to help. I invited him to come live in my home. I told him I would do all I could to help. I arranged some free therapy. Introduced him to my friends and family. Gave him all the kindness and love I had in me.

I had hoped it would help. It has not. He is still depressed, still agoraphobic and the worst part for me, still has dependent personality disorder. Now for those who don’t know what this is, well it means I can’t leave the house without him and naturally he can’t leave the house without me. We have not been more than 50 feet from each other in the year he has been here. He can’t go and do anything like movies, bowling, shopping or anything like that so I can’t either, when I myself feel able to do any of those things that is. Don’t feel sorry for me though. I have fallen in love and this is a small sacrifice to make sure he is okay.

We both applied for disability five months ago but it is still working through the process. My unemployment ran out six weeks ago so we have no more income and to make matters worse my father who has early onset dementia with psychotic features had no where else to go so he is living with us now. This has all put serious strain on me. How to pay bills with no money? How do I help this man I love get better? How do I get my sick dad, who has no one else to help him get to appointments with doctors and therapist when I can’t leave the house myself? How do I get better?

I am in serious need of help. I need to be able to at least keep the house and keep the lights on. I don’ t know what to do. I am lost. There is no help for someone who tries to help others. I called the department of family and children services and asked if there was any government program or even charity they knew of that I could apply for help with and they acted like I was a crazy person. She was like, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to do for you.”

I am out of savings and my bills are due. I have appealed to family and friends but they are all strapped themselves. I have sold my van, a computer and anything else I had around my house to survive but I am tapped out. Now I am here, depressed and hurting all the time, my friend is here, depressed and we both are having a lot of anxiety. My dad is here and has no where else to go and I am so scared. I have never been in a situation where I had not only my life but the lives of others in my hands and I can’t do anything.

I feel helpless, hopeless and sometimes think it’s not worth going on. I just need some help making my bills for now until disability comes through. Then some of my stress will be reduced. Some that is. But that is most pressing right now. Like I said, keeping the lights on and a phone and car going in case of emergencies.

On top of everything I feel so alone. I have to try and smile because I don’t want my friend or dad to worry. I won’t them to know I am gonna be here for them and not let them down. But I don’t know where to turn to get the help so that does not happen. I am afraid. I am scared. I am depressed and stressed. I need help.

Looking for some help with repairs, groceries and bills to keep things running. I am currently struggling to pay bills and things keep breaking or going wrong. We are a family of five and everything keeps going up while pay goes down. Also now we are going thru bankruptcy the bank now will no longer take a mortgage payment via internet & will only take via phone which requires a $20 fee every month! Doesn't make sense that the banks want to see you struggle more. Wish there was a way to fight back but they have all the power. Looking for any help even if small. I appreciate anything at this time

beging praying hoping from help from a stranger is not something id ever imagine having to do.maybe helping others.i, got, a five day evictionnotice now a ten day notice for my four kids and i to vacate if i dont pay $2800. i lost my job a month ago my sons been ill was in and out of the hosp and they let me go one weekend while he was in hosp. i was denied unemployment their reason for denial my mom called in while i was with my son they said i shoukd of not her so called it a no call no show. im going through a divorce used all my savings on lawyers.ive no money no income and will be honeless in a matter of days with my four babys.i get no child support have no family noone to help or stay with.i dont even know how or where im going to move all of our stuff.cannot get a loan my xhusband ruined my credit he quit paying for his credit cards and vehicle when we split up so it was repo and my name was on it.he wont help my two babys he said when im homeless hell take them i cannot loose my babys :(or have my four kids split up.i went to houseing there is a six mo waiting list longer if youve no incone..i dont know what to do im scared to, death if someone could please help be our miracle i promise i will pay every penny back with interest. i am praying for a miracle for my four children age eight and younger.i do have a paypal account you could send to my email dumkejulie@gmail.com :)

Im a soldier In the US Army and I am facing jail time up to five years because of my anger issues and being in the wrong place at the wrong time.. I am only 24 and my life is about to be ruined if I don't come up with $5000 in less than a month.. I was at a bar and tried to break up a fight and I got grabbed by a police officer and did not look before I hit him.. I now face felony charges and I need to pay a lawyer who says he can keep me out of prison sentence if I can pay him $5000 by may 4th.. I am young and do not want this to ruin my marriage and and my life my wife is not working and I support us both on the little money I make in the army.. Being a soldier I can't get loans or a second job to help.. Any donations would be greatly appreciated I am a infantry frontline soldier thank you for your time whoever reads this.. God bless.. If you can send money or checks to Jedediah paquette 3689 Rebecca lane apt e Colorado springs CO 80917 again thank you and god bless

Dear Sir/Madam
Greetings, Me and my family are farmers located in one of the most remote and rugged regions of Himalayas in India where there are no access to roads or transportations. Our home and fields are situated over the mountain approx. 3500 feet above sea level where the weather is unpredictable which makes farming very hard and life unbearable. All the farm work is done manually by hand by the members of my family. We normally grow garlic in small quantities which we sell to sustain the family for a whole year. As there are no access to roads we have to carry the loads on our backs at times 50 to 80 KG to access the nearest road which is couple of hours down the mountain and is a back breaking process. Even to get small food items we have to be going through this exercise everyday for our survival. Our everyday diet consist of five or six rotis (wheat flour and water mixed and roasted like a pancake) with mostly dal (gravy made out of pulse) with occasional rice two times a day. At times we collect wild vegetables from nearby forest to supplement our diet. Because of lack of nutrition our health conditions also suffer many times in a year. Here even today babies are born in the house. Birth is supervised by one of the older village woman as there are no doctors or any qualified medical people. In cases of emergency we have to carry the patient on our back to the road and any medical attention can be gotten 15 kms further down the road. This has resulted in many deaths in past years with young and old.
Since last two years due to changing weather conditions and untimely rainfall our fields could not yield crops properly. We are poor farmers just scrapping through life trying to stay alive. Added to these problems last year three of my family members one of whom is a six month old baby had deteriorating health conditions which needed hospitalisation and medicines which cost us major portion of the money we could earn by selling our crop. Normally we earn about 50,000 INR in a year by selling garlic and we grow small quantities of wheat and corn enough to keep the family through the year. Due to these sufferings and extra expenditure am now in great distress to be even able to buy seeds to grow crop in our field to sustain ourselves. To have one morsel of food has become a nightmare for all of us and we are nine members in the family with two small babies of 8 months and two years. The future of our survival looks very bleak given the conditions and lack of health and finance to tend the field.
I would be highly grateful if your goodselves would consider me and my family a worthy cause to extend your help to us with 5000 USD which I can use to buy necessary seeds for the crops, few essential medications, a mule for transportation, fix the leaking roof of our home, do little maintenance to our field for yielding more crop and get me, my family andour field back on track as our field is the only source of our survival. My family consist of myself, my sick wife, two sons and two daughters, 2 small babies and a daughter in law. I can provide you with my family snap, address and bank account details upon your heart permitting to help me as whatever I have stated above is genuine and true. Me and my family are seeking this help not because we are lazy but because of protracted and extreme conditions beyond our control which we have been facing since two years continuously under the circumstances outlined above. We need a helping hand to get back on our feet again as your generosity would go a long way in alleviating the sufferings of my family and bring life back into our lives.
Awaiting your kindness and response.
Warm Regards

Negi
ps : If this message is not meant for you plse pass it onto the concerned person. Respond to : pally_jones@yahoo.com

My daughter and I are in need of finding a place of our own. These past couple months have been extremely hard because of the death of my mother. We were all living together and my mom was splitting the rent with me and I was working to take care of her. She was sick with Cancer and she had the operation and we all thought she was going to be okay. She did not recover like we expected and she ended up going in a Rehabilitation Center and we visited her often until she came home. I am the youngest of her children. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister and we are called the Berry 5. We were allways known as the Berry Family from the time we were little. My mom started to do better and we were so happy to have her home. It came time for her to Start Chemotherapy and Radiation. She was scared but I and my sister talked her into it because we knew the doctors had told us that she needed it because the cancer had spread to her lymp nodes and when they did the surgery they were not able to get everything. My mom had done one week of Radiation and she went in for one session of Chemo. The same day she had Chemo she seemed fine and then 2 days later she was having fevers, throwing up and so extremely weak. I thought it was because of the Chemo because that is what was explained to us. My concern was she couldn't keep anything down. I needed to give her medication for her Diabetes and High Blood Pressure but everytime I gave her anything, it all came up and so I was so scared because her blood sugar was high and I didn't want it to get any higher. She began to complain of stomach pain and I thought it was another side effect of the Chemo. For a couple days of her vomiting and having diarrhea, I was able to get some fluids down her and it seemed to stay. Little by little we both thought she was doing better. Her strength was not there though, it was difficult for her to even get up to go to the bathroom. The following day she continued to vomit and I was scared so I told her she needed to go to the hospital, because I felt that they could help her more. They could give her medications through an IV and they could find out why she was so weak and everything. She was scared and did not want to go but I convinced her. The ambulance came and took her to the hospital. I tried to follow her but I had to pick up my 11 year old daughter from school. I did go and they would not let me go back right away. I told them my mom had been brought in and they told me she wasn't checked in yet. About 20 minutes passed and I went back up to the window and they told me they would see if the doctor would let me back there and they were saying my daughter couldn't come back there because she wasn't 14, I told them she is only 11 years old and I'm not leaving her in the waiting room with strangers and that she was coming back there with me. They finally let us in and we went back to see my mom. I couldn't believe they had her hooked up to so many machines and she was on morphine and so out of it. I walked up to her and I said Ma, I'm here and she turned and looked at me. She was happy to see me, but then she told me that they told her, they found blood in her stools. I told her it was probably just do to her Hemorrhoids. but she said they told her it was positive for something. I asked her for what and she didn't know. I began looking for the doctor so I could ask questions but he wasn't around and everyone I talked to told me the doctor would be in soon to go over my mom's condition. I stayed with my mom, just holding her hand, telling her I loved her and that she was going to be okay. They came in to take her to have an ultrasound and my daughter and I waited. The doctor finally came in and told me that my mom had an abcess in her stomach that had burst. I said what are you talking about? He said that she had a condition called peridonitis and that the abcess burst and was releasing all this poison inside her stomach and her blood pressure was dropping dramatically. He then told me it was too dangerous for them to operate at that time because her INR level to to high. My mom had been taking Cumadin for a blood clot that she previously had and the cumadin made her INR level extremely high and her blood was not clotting so they said if they did surgery, she would bleed out. They said they needed to correct it by giving her lots of blood products and they gave her all kinds of strong antibiotics and blood and plasma. They were pumping so much stuff into her, I didn't know what to do. Her blood pressure was like 85/60 and then like 76/40 and it was getting lower and lower. They had her hooked up to so many IVs and then they told me that she was the sickest person they had in the ER. So many doctors and interns and students and nurses overcrowded my mom's room. I called my sister and told her what was going on and she came down to be with me and my daughter. They told us they would do all they could for my mom but that it didn't look good. I began to pray, my mom had always taught me to pray and give things over to god. As the night went on, they decided to put an IV in my moms neck, they said it was more direct and if and when she went to surgery it would be better to have that in place. They made us leave the room and they had like 10 people in there with there machines and cameras and equipment to help guide them where to put the IV at. I had never gone through this before and I was so scared but I was keeping my faith. One doctor wanted to talk to me and my sister alone and I didn't want to hear him telling me anything negative. He asked us a lot of questions concerning my mom's health and history. He then told us that she was in acute renal failure and that her colon was damaged where the abcess bursts and fecal was being released into her abdomen. This is the last thing I wanted to hear. I asked him if they could fix it, he said they would do all they could but that their main focus was trying to bring her INR levels down because they were dangerously high. She was also anemic and that is why she was so weak, her blood level was extremely low. They were continuously giving her blood products, antibiotics and plasma. My sister decided to take my daughter home with her. I told her I would call her when I knew when they were going to do surgery. The surgeon had spoken to us and said that it was a good chance, and that operating was her only chance and once her blood level was corrected that they would go in and repair the damage. I felt some what relieved but as the night went on she was in a fight for her life. The main doctor working on my mom's case came and told me that her breathing was not getting any better and that he needed to put her to sleep so he could intubate her and put a breathing tube down her throat. He said it would be good to have anyways so that she would be ready when they went to surgery. There was nothing I could do except walk out of the room and wait. I continued to pray and wait and pray and wait. Hours went by and I would walk and peek inside the room and see my mom's blood pressure increasing some, this gave me hope but then the doctor would come and tell me it wasn't looking like she was improving and that we needed to prepare that she might not make it through the night. i couldn't believe what he was telling me. I called my sister and my brother and told them , they were praying as well. I didn't know who to listen to, one doctor is telling me it's hopeless and the surgeon is telling me it's a good chance she would be okay once taken to surgery. I sat in the hall because they wouldn't let me back in and they stayed with her at all times, monitoring her and giving her medicine and all the blood and stuff back to back. Then they came out in the hall and told me they were ready to take her to surgery. They said she might not hear you but you can still talk to her. I walked up to her lying there, so still and I told her how much I loved her and i told her to fight and that we would do it togther and that I would be here when she woke up and that I was not leaving her. The surgeon put me in the OR waiting room. I was all alone in there by myself. I waited and waited and only 20 mins went by and a security guard told me there was a cafe there and if I wanted to go grab a cup of coffee that I could. I went downstairs and got the coffee, as soon as I reached the OR floor I saw the surgeon standing there, he walked over to me and he said, I'm sorry but your mom's heart stopped during surgery and we revived her but then it stopped again and he said I don't we can get it back. My whole world just crumbled, I began screaming and crying and I fell to the floor. I was just askig God why. Why is this happening? This security lady came over to comfort me and began telling me how sorry she was and asked me if I had any family I could call. I called my sister and told her and she said she was on her way down. She lived in another city about 45 mins away. I was still on the ground just broken and this lady began to tell me that God would help me and give me the strength to go on. She asked me if I had any children, I told her I had a daughter, and she told me I needed to be strong for her. I wasn't trying to hear all that. My whole world was ripped right from under me. A couple of doctors and this lady helped me off the floor and the surgeon that came out , came out again and told me they would take me back to see her. They brought out a wheelchair and wheeled me back there and when they opened the door, my god I just saw them on top of her doing chest compressions and I was just screaming and then the surgeon is telling me I need to make a decision because everytime they do that, they are hurting her and he said, you don't want her to suffer anymore. I was just waiting on my sister4. I didn't want to make that call but I didn't want them pounding her chest in so I told them to stop. It killed in me inside. They wheeled me over to her and I just cried. My mom was only 60 years old and she had her whole life ahead of her and I don't understand why any of this happened. She was such a beautiful person and she had been a christian for 33 years. SHe loved the lord and she raised me and my siblings up in the church. I couldn't believe that she was gone because I had prayed and prayed and I just knew that God would spare her life. I lost my real father at the age of 16 and even then I didn't know him. I always had my mom and she remarried when I was 11 years old. She had been married for 19 years and my step father passed away in July of 2008. He was a sickly person and she took care of him and nursed him for all those years. He had diabetes, high blood pressure, prostate cancer, he was on dialysis for kidney failure, he had a four by pass surgery and he was in and out of the hospitals for years. She suffered so much seeing him suffer and taking care of him, he took what little strength she had. But because he was her husband she did all she could to help him and she loved him so much. So now all remains is just me and my siblings. It's hard because my mom was my best friend. I can't remember a time when she wasn't around. We did everything together and we lived together for years and I took care of her. I wanted so bad for her to be okay and to make it through surgery, I had been taught for years about the love of Jesus and I couldn't understand what he chose to take her away from her children and grandchildren. We had a two bedroom apartment and she had her room and my daughter and I shared a room. After she died, I went home that morning with my sister and I stayed over there for the remainder of the day. The whole day was just hurting, crying and calling the rest of the family. I felt so bad because my youngest brother, say youngest because he is the youngest of my 3 brothers, even though they are all older than me. He came to the hospital to see my mom but he thought she was still alive and the doctors didn't tell him, they let him in the room and she was already covered up and he walked in and was like, it's over ?? he couldn't believe it , he just broke down. One of the nurses that was in the OR called my sister and he was crying, apologizing to us because he thought my brother already knew. He told us how sorry he was. Now my family is broken, my mom was the rock that held us all together. We didn't have money growing up, we didn't have a lot of the finer things in life but we had love. She loved us like no one could. She did it all for her children and most importantly she taught us about God. She lived her life for Jesus, she would pray on a regular basis, read her bible daily, go to church often as she could and when things looked hopeless she took them to god in prayer. She prayed not only for her children, grandchildren and siblings but for people all over the world, she would pray for all the countries and for the sick and homeless and anyone she could pray for. She gave over the years endlessly to Trinity Broadcasting Network, Feed the children, CBN, David Terrell Ministries, Boys Town, Children International, Food For All and to so many others. Month after month, year after year she was giving. She taught us how to give and there were times when we would just make food and take it to the park to give to the homeless, bottled water, sandwiches, noodles, chicken or whatever we could. She would never turn down a person needing help or asking for spare change, she would give freely. She would tell me all the time, it's better to give than to receive and that god would bless me. So I began giving as well, I would call and donate and try to help whenever I could. My mom was also a big giver to the goodwill. Over the years we gave so much, and everytime they would ask if we wanted a donation paper for a tax write off she would say no. she didn't want that, she was giving freely and she didn't want anything in return. That's who she was, she was the person who would mentor you and talk to you about Jesus and how over the years he brought her and our family through so many trials and tribulations. SHe praised god for everything, for the good times and the bad. She used to always tell me to be thankful and to praise god. Now there were times when i was suffering so much and I didn't want to praise god, I wanted god to help me and at the time it seemed like he wasn't. My mom was always there to tell me baby, hold on.. give your burdens over to the lord and he will help you and supply all your needs. I realized that he did just that. I remember when she had surgery for the cancer and she was wondering why god allowed her to come down with that. It was hard for her because her faith was shaken then. She couldn't believe after she was faithful to him for so many years that he would allow her to suffer so horribly and there my sister and I were telling her that she would be okay, that God loved her still and he had not forsaken her and that he would bring her through this. She was so discouraged at the time but we would not let up. She couldn't believe this was her children mentoring and encouragiing her as she had done for us over the years. She told me, she was happy and she felt relieved that her living and everything she had taught us was not in vain. She was thankful to God that we were listening to her and by example we followed her footsteps. She began to get better and we thought she would be okay. My mom was a pure Christian, she didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, didn't curse. She would make you turn the tv channel if you were watching something that cursed. She loved her cowboys though. Her favorites were Bonanza, The rifle man, High Chapparal, Wagon Train, The Virginian and so many others. She also loved the old shows, the clean shows, the original dennis the menace, columbo, family affair, petticoat junction, I married joan, hawai five o, the streets of san francisco, i spy, murder she wrote, in the heat of the night, matlock, the big vally, dr quinn, little house on the prairie, family ties, good times, 227, what's happening, the jeffersons, the brady bunch and so many others. Her favorite game shows were The price is right, deal or no deal, let's make a deal, the newlywed game, match game and who wants to be a millionaire. I loved spending time with my mom, she was someone I could always talk to and she would never judge me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. She taught me how to carry myself as a lady and she taught me how to stand up for myself and I owe her so much. I felt like I let her down that night she was in the hospital and I told her she would be okay and that I would be waiting for her when she woke up but she never woke up. I felt that made me a liar. I had been taking care of my mom for months and I was preparing her meals, giving her medications on schedule and was taking her to her appointments and running errands for her. My mom had been weak for so long because before she found out she had cancer she was bleeding perfusely having vaginal bleeding and they made her very anemic. Before surgery she had 4 transfusions and then after surgery she had 2 more. She never got all her strength back and after she had the first surgery, she was too weak that they sent her to Ballard Rehabilitation and they were working on getting her strength back and getting her up and walking. She did so much better when she was in there and when she came home, they sent out a home health nurse, a physcialy therapist and an occupational therapist. They began doing exercises with her and the physical therapist thought it would benefit my mom to have some help with getting around. So she ordered her an walker , the kind that had a seat on it, she ordered her a wheel chair, a raised toilet seat with the rails and a shower chair and shower bench. So when my mom started walking more better she was using her walker all the time, it was helping her because she had the support to keep her from falling and when she got tired , she could just sit down. I did all I could to take care of her, on a daily basis. She was not strong enough to shower herself, so I bought the shower hose and I began to shower her daily, dress her and do everything for her but I loved her so much and I didn't care what I had to do, she was my mom. There were days when she thought she was a burden to me and she would tell me, that I work to hard and that she was sorry she was not able to do things for herself and i would immediately tell her to stop talking like that. I would tell her, she was my mom, I loved her and wanted to look after her and that she wasn't a burden on me. That she took care of me when I was little and over the years and now it was my turn to take care of her. She told me a couple weeks before she passed away , you said, you really stood by your mom, when all the others went on their way. you stood by your mom. She said, I don't know what I would have done with out you. She said I don't know how I would have made it and she said god is really going to bless you and he will remember everything you did for your mother. She told me how special I was and now that she is gone , I remember everything she ever told me. It has been so hard, going through all her things and seeing all the cards and letters she gave me over the years. Everybody keeps telling me it will get better but I don't see that happening. I can't go one day without crying for missing her so much. I am grateful because she is not in any more pain but I am hurting so badly without her. I have a big sister but we have never been that close, she seems to want to spend more time with me now but nobody could ever feel that empty space inside my heart for my mother. I recently moved in with my brother and I want so desperately for me and my daughter to be able to get a place of our own. It costs so much to pay for first and last months rent and I have this old 1994 car that has been giving me so much trouble and I am barely scraping along , just trying to make it. I would appreciate any help I am given. If anyone can find it in their heart to help me and my daughter move out and get our own place or simply help us with the day to day necessities, it would be greatly appreciated.

My daughter and I are in need of finding a place of our own. These past couple months have been extremely hard because of the death of my mother. We were all living together and my mom was splitting the rent with me and I was working to take care of her. She was sick with Cancer and she had the operation and we all thought she was going to be okay. She did not recover like we expected and she ended up going in a Rehabilitation Center and we visited her often until she came home. I am the youngest of her children. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister and we are called the Berry 5. We were allways known as the Berry Family from the time we were little. My mom started to do better and we were so happy to have her home. It came time for her to Start Chemotherapy and Radiation. She was scared but I and my sister talked her into it because we knew the doctors had told us that she needed it because the cancer had spread to her lymp nodes and when they did the surgery they were not able to get everything. My mom had done one week of Radiation and she went in for one session of Chemo. The same day she had Chemo she seemed fine and then 2 days later she was having fevers, throwing up and so extremely weak. I thought it was because of the Chemo because that is what was explained to us. My concern was she couldn't keep anything down. I needed to give her medication for her Diabetes and High Blood Pressure but everytime I gave her anything, it all came up and so I was so scared because her blood sugar was high and I didn't want it to get any higher. She began to complain of stomach pain and I thought it was another side effect of the Chemo. For a couple days of her vomiting and having diarrhea, I was able to get some fluids down her and it seemed to stay. Little by little we both thought she was doing better. Her strength was not there though, it was difficult for her to even get up to go to the bathroom. The following day she continued to vomit and I was scared so I told her she needed to go to the hospital, because I felt that they could help her more. They could give her medications through an IV and they could find out why she was so weak and everything. She was scared and did not want to go but I convinced her. The ambulance came and took her to the hospital. I tried to follow her but I had to pick up my 11 year old daughter from school. I did go and they would not let me go back right away. I told them my mom had been brought in and they told me she wasn't checked in yet. About 20 minutes passed and I went back up to the window and they told me they would see if the doctor would let me back there and they were saying my daughter couldn't come back there because she wasn't 14, I told them she is only 11 years old and I'm not leaving her in the waiting room with strangers and that she was coming back there with me. They finally let us in and we went back to see my mom. I couldn't believe they had her hooked up to so many machines and she was on morphine and so out of it. I walked up to her and I said Ma, I'm here and she turned and looked at me. She was happy to see me, but then she told me that they told her, they found blood in her stools. I told her it was probably just do to her Hemorrhoids. but she said they told her it was positive for something. I asked her for what and she didn't know. I began looking for the doctor so I could ask questions but he wasn't around and everyone I talked to told me the doctor would be in soon to go over my mom's condition. I stayed with my mom, just holding her hand, telling her I loved her and that she was going to be okay. They came in to take her to have an ultrasound and my daughter and I waited. The doctor finally came in and told me that my mom had an abcess in her stomach that had burst. I said what are you talking about? He said that she had a condition called peridonitis and that the abcess burst and was releasing all this poison inside her stomach and her blood pressure was dropping dramatically. He then told me it was too dangerous for them to operate at that time because her INR level to to high. My mom had been taking Cumadin for a blood clot that she previously had and the cumadin made her INR level extremely high and her blood was not clotting so they said if they did surgery, she would bleed out. They said they needed to correct it by giving her lots of blood products and they gave her all kinds of strong antibiotics and blood and plasma. They were pumping so much stuff into her, I didn't know what to do. Her blood pressure was like 85/60 and then like 76/40 and it was getting lower and lower. They had her hooked up to so many IVs and then they told me that she was the sickest person they had in the ER. So many doctors and interns and students and nurses overcrowded my mom's room. I called my sister and told her what was going on and she came down to be with me and my daughter. They told us they would do all they could for my mom but that it didn't look good. I began to pray, my mom had always taught me to pray and give things over to god. As the night went on, they decided to put an IV in my moms neck, they said it was more direct and if and when she went to surgery it would be better to have that in place. They made us leave the room and they had like 10 people in there with there machines and cameras and equipment to help guide them where to put the IV at. I had never gone through this before and I was so scared but I was keeping my faith. One doctor wanted to talk to me and my sister alone and I didn't want to hear him telling me anything negative. He asked us a lot of questions concerning my mom's health and history. He then told us that she was in acute renal failure and that her colon was damaged where the abcess bursts and fecal was being released into her abdomen. This is the last thing I wanted to hear. I asked him if they could fix it, he said they would do all they could but that their main focus was trying to bring her INR levels down because they were dangerously high. She was also anemic and that is why she was so weak, her blood level was extremely low. They were continuously giving her blood products, antibiotics and plasma. My sister decided to take my daughter home with her. I told her I would call her when I knew when they were going to do surgery. The surgeon had spoken to us and said that it was a good chance, and that operating was her only chance and once her blood level was corrected that they would go in and repair the damage. I felt some what relieved but as the night went on she was in a fight for her life. The main doctor working on my mom's case came and told me that her breathing was not getting any better and that he needed to put her to sleep so he could intubate her and put a breathing tube down her throat. He said it would be good to have anyways so that she would be ready when they went to surgery. There was nothing I could do except walk out of the room and wait. I continued to pray and wait and pray and wait. Hours went by and I would walk and peek inside the room and see my mom's blood pressure increasing some, this gave me hope but then the doctor would come and tell me it wasn't looking like she was improving and that we needed to prepare that she might not make it through the night. i couldn't believe what he was telling me. I called my sister and my brother and told them , they were praying as well. I didn't know who to listen to, one doctor is telling me it's hopeless and the surgeon is telling me it's a good chance she would be okay once taken to surgery. I sat in the hall because they wouldn't let me back in and they stayed with her at all times, monitoring her and giving her medicine and all the blood and stuff back to back. Then they came out in the hall and told me they were ready to take her to surgery. They said she might not hear you but you can still talk to her. I walked up to her lying there, so still and I told her how much I loved her and i told her to fight and that we would do it togther and that I would be here when she woke up and that I was not leaving her. The surgeon put me in the OR waiting room. I was all alone in there by myself. I waited and waited and only 20 mins went by and a security guard told me there was a cafe there and if I wanted to go grab a cup of coffee that I could. I went downstairs and got the coffee, as soon as I reached the OR floor I saw the surgeon standing there, he walked over to me and he said, I'm sorry but your mom's heart stopped during surgery and we revived her but then it stopped again and he said I don't we can get it back. My whole world just crumbled, I began screaming and crying and I fell to the floor. I was just askig God why. Why is this happening? This security lady came over to comfort me and began telling me how sorry she was and asked me if I had any family I could call. I called my sister and told her and she said she was on her way down. She lived in another city about 45 mins away. I was still on the ground just broken and this lady began to tell me that God would help me and give me the strength to go on. She asked me if I had any children, I told her I had a daughter, and she told me I needed to be strong for her. I wasn't trying to hear all that. My whole world was ripped right from under me. A couple of doctors and this lady helped me off the floor and the surgeon that came out , came out again and told me they would take me back to see her. They brought out a wheelchair and wheeled me back there and when they opened the door, my god I just saw them on top of her doing chest compressions and I was just screaming and then the surgeon is telling me I need to make a decision because everytime they do that, they are hurting her and he said, you don't want her to suffer anymore. I was just waiting on my sister4. I didn't want to make that call but I didn't want them pounding her chest in so I told them to stop. It killed in me inside. They wheeled me over to her and I just cried. My mom was only 60 years old and she had her whole life ahead of her and I don't understand why any of this happened. She was such a beautiful person and she had been a christian for 33 years. SHe loved the lord and she raised me and my siblings up in the church. I couldn't believe that she was gone because I had prayed and prayed and I just knew that God would spare her life. I lost my real father at the age of 16 and even then I didn't know him. I always had my mom and she remarried when I was 11 years old. She had been married for 19 years and my step father passed away in July of 2008. He was a sickly person and she took care of him and nursed him for all those years. He had diabetes, high blood pressure, prostate cancer, he was on dialysis for kidney failure, he had a four by pass surgery and he was in and out of the hospitals for years. She suffered so much seeing him suffer and taking care of him, he took what little strength she had. But because he was her husband she did all she could to help him and she loved him so much. So now all remains is just me and my siblings. It's hard because my mom was my best friend. I can't remember a time when she wasn't around. We did everything together and we lived together for years and I took care of her. I wanted so bad for her to be okay and to make it through surgery, I had been taught for years about the love of Jesus and I couldn't understand what he chose to take her away from her children and grandchildren. We had a two bedroom apartment and she had her room and my daughter and I shared a room. After she died, I went home that morning with my sister and I stayed over there for the remainder of the day. The whole day was just hurting, crying and calling the rest of the family. I felt so bad because my youngest brother, say youngest because he is the youngest of my 3 brothers, even though they are all older than me. He came to the hospital to see my mom but he thought she was still alive and the doctors didn't tell him, they let him in the room and she was already covered up and he walked in and was like, it's over ?? he couldn't believe it , he just broke down. One of the nurses that was in the OR called my sister and he was crying, apologizing to us because he thought my brother already knew. He told us how sorry he was. Now my family is broken, my mom was the rock that held us all together. We didn't have money growing up, we didn't have a lot of the finer things in life but we had love. She loved us like no one could. She did it all for her children and most importantly she taught us about God. She lived her life for Jesus, she would pray on a regular basis, read her bible daily, go to church often as she could and when things looked hopeless she took them to god in prayer. She prayed not only for her children, grandchildren and siblings but for people all over the world, she would pray for all the countries and for the sick and homeless and anyone she could pray for. She gave over the years endlessly to Trinity Broadcasting Network, Feed the children, CBN, David Terrell Ministries, Boys Town, Children International, Food For All and to so many others. Month after month, year after year she was giving. She taught us how to give and there were times when we would just make food and take it to the park to give to the homeless, bottled water, sandwiches, noodles, chicken or whatever we could. She would never turn down a person needing help or asking for spare change, she would give freely. She would tell me all the time, it's better to give than to receive and that god would bless me. So I began giving as well, I would call and donate and try to help whenever I could. My mom was also a big giver to the goodwill. Over the years we gave so much, and everytime they would ask if we wanted a donation paper for a tax write off she would say no. she didn't want that, she was giving freely and she didn't want anything in return. That's who she was, she was the person who would mentor you and talk to you about Jesus and how over the years he brought her and our family through so many trials and tribulations. SHe praised god for everything, for the good times and the bad. She used to always tell me to be thankful and to praise god. Now there were times when i was suffering so much and I didn't want to praise god, I wanted god to help me and at the time it seemed like he wasn't. My mom was always there to tell me baby, hold on.. give your burdens over to the lord and he will help you and supply all your needs. I realized that he did just that. I remember when she had surgery for the cancer and she was wondering why god allowed her to come down with that. It was hard for her because her faith was shaken then. She couldn't believe after she was faithful to him for so many years that he would allow her to suffer so horribly and there my sister and I were telling her that she would be okay, that God loved her still and he had not forsaken her and that he would bring her through this. She was so discouraged at the time but we would not let up. She couldn't believe this was her children mentoring and encouragiing her as she had done for us over the years. She told me, she was happy and she felt relieved that her living and everything she had taught us was not in vain. She was thankful to God that we were listening to her and by example we followed her footsteps. She began to get better and we thought she would be okay. My mom was a pure Christian, she didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, didn't curse. She would make you turn the tv channel if you were watching something that cursed. She loved her cowboys though. Her favorites were Bonanza, The rifle man, High Chapparal, Wagon Train, The Virginian and so many others. She also loved the old shows, the clean shows, the original dennis the menace, columbo, family affair, petticoat junction, I married joan, hawai five o, the streets of san francisco, i spy, murder she wrote, in the heat of the night, matlock, the big vally, dr quinn, little house on the prairie, family ties, good times, 227, what's happening, the jeffersons, the brady bunch and so many others. Her favorite game shows were The price is right, deal or no deal, let's make a deal, the newlywed game, match game and who wants to be a millionaire. I loved spending time with my mom, she was someone I could always talk to and she would never judge me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. She taught me how to carry myself as a lady and she taught me how to stand up for myself and I owe her so much. I felt like I let her down that night she was in the hospital and I told her she would be okay and that I would be waiting for her when she woke up but she never woke up. I felt that made me a liar. I had been taking care of my mom for months and I was preparing her meals, giving her medications on schedule and was taking her to her appointments and running errands for her. My mom had been weak for so long because before she found out she had cancer she was bleeding perfusely having vaginal bleeding and they made her very anemic. Before surgery she had 4 transfusions and then after surgery she had 2 more. She never got all her strength back and after she had the first surgery, she was too weak that they sent her to Ballard Rehabilitation and they were working on getting her strength back and getting her up and walking. She did so much better when she was in there and when she came home, they sent out a home health nurse, a physcialy therapist and an occupational therapist. They began doing exercises with her and the physical therapist thought it would benefit my mom to have some help with getting around. So she ordered her an walker , the kind that had a seat on it, she ordered her a wheel chair, a raised toilet seat with the rails and a shower chair and shower bench. So when my mom started walking more better she was using her walker all the time, it was helping her because she had the support to keep her from falling and when she got tired , she could just sit down. I did all I could to take care of her, on a daily basis. She was not strong enough to shower herself, so I bought the shower hose and I began to shower her daily, dress her and do everything for her but I loved her so much and I didn't care what I had to do, she was my mom. There were days when she thought she was a burden to me and she would tell me, that I work to hard and that she was sorry she was not able to do things for herself and i would immediately tell her to stop talking like that. I would tell her, she was my mom, I loved her and wanted to look after her and that she wasn't a burden on me. That she took care of me when I was little and over the years and now it was my turn to take care of her. She told me a couple weeks before she passed away , you said, you really stood by your mom, when all the others went on their way. you stood by your mom. She said, I don't know what I would have done with out you. She said I don't know how I would have made it and she said god is really going to bless you and he will remember everything you did for your mother. She told me how special I was and now that she is gone , I remember everything she ever told me. It has been so hard, going through all her things and seeing all the cards and letters she gave me over the years. Everybody keeps telling me it will get better but I don't see that happening. I can't go one day without crying for missing her so much. I am grateful because she is not in any more pain but I am hurting so badly without her. I have a big sister but we have never been that close, she seems to want to spend more time with me now but nobody could ever feel that empty space inside my heart for my mother. I recently moved in with my brother and I want so desperately for me and my daughter to be able to get a place of our own. It costs so much to pay for first and last months rent and I have this old 1994 car that has been giving me so much trouble and I am barely scraping along , just trying to make it. I would appreciate any help I am given. If anyone can find it in their heart to help me and my daughter move out and get our own place or simply help us with the day to day necessities, it would be greatly appreciated.

Sitting here trying to think of how to start this "beg" my mind does a fast playback of the last 5 years which seems to find me sitting here trying to think of how to start this "beg".

To type it all out would be exhausting, depressing and most importantly, a total disregard of your time. I will try to keep this as short and to the point as possible.

Five years ago my stepfather and mother were forced out of the home they had rented for 15 years after the real estate market came to a halt. My stepfather had always been very successful in commercial real estate but unfortunately did not save or invest for the proverbial "Rainy Day".

Totally in the dark, my mom continued spending money on daily needs and wants unaware that the essentials such as utilities and rent were not being paid. After realizing that my stepfather had no monies coming in and facing eviction she called me asking if I could help out by loaning them enough money to pay back rent and past due utility bills. Yes, I realize what most of you are thinking and I wholeheartedly agree but I was assured that one of John's deals would be closing within the next couple of months at which time the money borrowed would be repaid.

Needless to say the deal fell through and my money has not been repaid and what started out as a $5,000 loan from credit cards has more than doubled when factoring in all of the payments I have made and continue to make plus the mounting interest charges. They are now in their seventies with health issues and living month to month on social security.

The reality is that I will never see my money and will probably be paying for a very long time. Some people I suppose would file a lawsuit which for me is simply out of the question for 2 reasons. (1.) I love my mom dearly and I try to look at it as payment for the years she spent raising, doctoring, feeding, clothing and housing me. The second reason is obvious. Blood cannot be extracted from a turnip.

I know that there are a lot of people in much worse shape than I am in right now and I am employed, however I am now 5 months behind on what is called an upside down mortgage which I am trying to hold onto at least until home values come back. I would be more than happy to sell it for what I owe but there are major repairs (the roof being top priority) which have to be made before I can even hope to sell.
My goal is to pay off the credit card debt and if Bank of America doesn't foreclose on my house I hope to make the need repairs so I can at least sell for what I owe and then rent a small affordable apartment or house. Please... Any help that you can give will be greatly appreciated. Thank You & God Bess!