Encountered Tags

I am the custodial parent of 3 children, a daughter that's 17, and 2 boys, 14 and 9. I have been divorced for 3yrs. now, tending to the everyday needs, for my children and their school activities. My ex-wife had turned diabetic, from giving birth to the children and had fallen into a severe case of post-pardon depression, due to the diabetic condition that had worsened as the children were born, which turned her to alcohol. As most of us know, alcohol and diabetes do not mix, at first I was unaware, of how severe this can be, but as time progressed, we could see the roller-coaster personality shine through. After hearing from others about the way some things were being handled by her, such as pinning them down on the ground, to brush their teeth, or ripping a brush through my daughters hair in the morning before school, I needed to do something about it. This was hard to see at first, since I was at work everyday on a 45-50hr. work week. One particular event, that has been a soar spot with my daughter, was a few days before Christmas, when she was helping decorate the tree and had started to put the tinsel on before the ornaments. Her mom, was into about her 2nd drink, which had brought her sugar-level up, started screaming at her about putting the ornaments on first, and just about ripped her arms off, tearing the tinsel out of her hands!!! Last year, was the first year, after spending many hours with her, that she was brave enough to help decorate the tree.

My oldest son, now 14, has had some very bad experiences, that had put so much stress on him that he started pulling his hair out, until he was completely bald on top of his head !!! The stress was caused by being constantly screamed at for things, that he was even doing. The last thing that really broke the camels back was, when he was trying to restrain his mother during a delirious diabetic overload of sugar, which had skyrocketed, to over 600. She began kicking him, until she kicked him right down the steps and he had to come back up and body slam her down on the floor, we all saw the UGLIER side of diabetes that night !!!!! The E.R. was called in and they strapped her down on a stretcher, deemed her delusional, then rushed her off to the hospital. Their mother decided after that happened, that it would be a good idea to leave the family and doesn't have much contact with her children. I've spent a lot of time with them, working through some of the traumatic episodes, that they encountered and have lost a lot of time for employment. Now that I have been unemployed for quite sometime and being a man in this position, getting assistance or help is almost impossible. I get the feeling that men with children are discriminated, there are no programs in place by the government for men with children. I am now up against all odds, the roof on our house needs to be shingled, every time it rains we see piles of gravel on the ground and my vehicle is on it's last leg. The utilities are always in shut off status and I'm now falling into foreclosure, due to being behind on the house payments for heavens sake, let alone the kids being sick from time to time, because of the old and deteriorating carpet in our house, so I'm being told by the doctors.

PLEASE HELP ME SOMEBODY, I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR WHERE TO GET THE
MONEY TO MAKE THE LIVES OF MY CHILDREN ANY BETTER !!!

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho men was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I am a fighter. My story is a long one with many trials and tribulations; perhaps not much different or worse than others, I am not sure. My name is Elizabeth Newton and I live in Loveland, Colorado; the Sweetheart City and Gateway to the Rockies. I was raised by both parents in a middle class environment. I am the oldest of four, in which, three are brothers. I was a creative child who staged puppet shows and created clubs in our neighborhood. I am not sure if you remember the fuzzy sticky feet, but I made my own with left over pieces of carpet and sold them to my friends.
Moving on, I really struggled in school and got into a lot trouble. I was reckless, promiscuous, used drugs and alcohol and was dangerous. To keep it short, I dropped out in my junior year. When I reflect on those years, I remember some of what I did but mostly I forgot. I guess I felt as though I was being pulled by the strings of a puppet master whose name I now know is Bipolar.
When I turned 18 I shared an apartment with a friend. We both worked for the same nursing home and later for the Bureau of Reclamation. In was at the former job, I received my GED. I was still behaving recklessly resulting in a lot of missed work. But I was having fun being independent, partying all night but slowly losing control of my life.
I became pregnant by my boyfriend and we married several months later. My daughter is a grown woman. I then had another child four years later. Money was also a struggle. My husband wanted me to work but it did not make sense financially. I paid more for daycare then I was paid. When I found a position over the weekends, my husband refused to watch the children. That being said, I was still reckless – the mood would not go away – still a slave of the puppet master. Eventually the relationship became abusive and my husband left leaving $200 on the kitchen table. I did not have a car so I borrowed my father’s truck. I drove my father’s truck with my two small children in back to a safe house. However, it was not so safe. My husband who insulated homes, worked on the safe house. He found the truck and wrote things, I cannot mention here, on the outside of the truck. He coerced my grandmother to call me; and she did! Having to deal with these distractions kept me from focusing on me.
Good news! I was able to move into low income housing. It was a struggle to get my possessions; I took what I could. My father out of the blue wanted his truck back. My mother headed him off at the pass. I think I remember that my life settled down a bit. I enrolled in college. I loved college. In spite of this, I quit school to work from my mother at her computer store. Did I mention my parents were divorced? I am not sure it matters at this point. About six months later, the puppet master caught me and off I was again.
I had a boyfriend – I was 32 years old – and pregnant again…..This relationship was worse that the first. It included drinking, drugs, sexual and physical abuse – oh my, sigh. In the course of it all, I secured a position for one of the largest companies in Loveland. I was thrilled. I had actually come a long way. I divorced my second husband and found my own apartment.
Wow – raising three children on my own was not easy. We got by – I was able to provide what we needed. I forgot to mention I shared custody of my third child and had to pay child support. I never complained; I met my responsibility. I was performing very well at work and procured a position of a trainer. WeeHee – my new position allowed me to travel the globe. Can you imagine, me, the girl from Loveland, Colorado? During this time, I encountered a lot of problems with my ex-husband. Once, he called me at work and said he had a brain tumor. It was a joke; I did not find it funny.
I was promoted again returned to school and bought a house!!! I cannot think of the words to describe these accomplishments. I transformed from the woman driving my father’s truck to a home owner; kind of like the Home Sweet Home book. I was still partying, drinking, but not like before. The puppet master must have been on holiday. I met the man of my dreams and we married in 1998 (I think). We are still together.
The puppet master had those strings a rolling. I could and did accomplish anything. I could see what others could not. I finished school with ease and received my BA in Organization Development in 2005. What year did my story start? We bought a new home in a nice neighborhood. It is a modest home but fits us very well. I was still partying but it was not disrupting my work and home responsibilities.
CRASH! He let go – how could he let go? A woman pulled in front of us and totaled our car. I realize this does not sound traumatic, does it? I really do not know anymore. What I do know is this rocked my world. More than any other event did – and there were many. I could not recover. My performance fell down the well. I could not sleep. I drank a lot. I would even get up at night to drink because I could not sleep. The unthinkable happened. My strings let me down. I swallowed a bottle of pills. I was so afraid. I spent three days in the psychiatric hospital and two months in intensive outpatient therapy. During this time I was on short term disability. I am a fighter; I have never let my circumstances stop me. I returned to work for about two months. Nevertheless, the strings dropped again, were they ever pulled, I am not sure; I spent eight days in hospital. I was out of work again. This time when I returned to work there was no position waiting for me. I was laid off the summer of 2009. I lost it all in one short year.
Remember I am a fighter. I returned to school in July 2009 to obtain a masters degree and I graduated in early 2011. The problem? I obtained a degree and I could not use without further education. I still do not say this out loud. During this time, I landed a part time job as an instructor for students seeking their AAS Human Resources degree. I make a third of the salary I previously did. I have performed this job since April 2010. It is hard. I forget – my memory is not that good. What you have reading are the highlights of my life.
Adult children and BABIES!! Not one baby; two and a one year old. My daughter was in a bad situation in Arizona. She was pregnant with twins, had a one year old daughter, had no car and was being evicted. The dad? Let’s say there is a lot to be desired. She packed as much as she could and moved in with us. Would anyone turn a loved one away in this situation? I could not. I was still drinking. As I write this, I now realize drinking was the one constant in my life. Sad. Her pregnancy had it challenges, but I think this is common. The first snowstorm of the year, December 30th, if you can believe that for Colorado, the babies had enough; my daughter was in labor. We called 911 since the roads were bad. Several hours later we welcomed two healthy baby girls! They will be one year old soon.
New Chapter. How many do we get? My daughter and 18 year old son live with us in our modest home. We clash, how we could not. I have been telling my doctor that I am depressed, damn strings. I can’t sleep and my body hurts so badly; especially when I lay down. Oh, I forgot to mention, no drinking! I quit over a year ago. Regrettably the depression and pain are driving my every moment. I think the puppet master is on vacation. There is no hope. I have been out of work too long. We are waiting for the repo man to get our car. We are barely holding on to the house. How can everything crash so fast and so hard? I am a fighter remember. My mind is full of hopelessness. I have a note that says “Please just let me go”. I am a fighter remember. I call the crisis line. They tell me to call 911. I don’t. I go to bed. Maybe it will be better tomorrow. Not a chance. The same message is repeating over and over in my head; “please let me go”. I tell my family I am driving to the hospital. I do not want anyone to come with me. I go alone.
Hospital

I honestly don't know if this will ever find anyone who may help but I'm being optimistic despite the odds. I honestly don't know how to truly explain my situation but to say that I've just been "stuck in a rut" for, let's be honest, over a decade. I don't regret my life, for I know that I've lived it the best way I knew how & with the limited resources that I had available. I also don't regret it because my experiences have made me the person that I am today. I have done everything possible to make sure that my family is safe & healthy. Ultimately, they come first! However all I can say is that I've just been wrapped up in so many unfortunate circumstances that have had many factors that were out of my control, that basically one can conclude that I'm just NOT a lucky person!

Here's some history: Basically when I started college my family lost our home due to my mother's gambling problem. This lead to my father's infidelity which ultimately lead to their divorce (which both my parents made me decide if they were to separate or not). Several months later I found myself pregnant & kicked out of both my parents apartments. During that time I still tried to keep things together by working as many shifts as I could & by going to school during the day. It was hard because I was like a nomad, moving from one friend's house to another. At times I even slept in my car. But then there came a point where my pregnancy became too complicated and I ended up living in the hospital for 2 months before my child was born at 7.5 months. Due to his pre-maturity and the many complications that ensued I decided devoted my life to taking care of him. It worked to some point, where I was able to drop my 3 jobs and obtained a stable one. I was also able to obtain a certificate from university. However, when my father died. I felt the obligation to take on the responsibility of honoring his last wishes. In a sense it aided me to find a type of closure yet in another way it had opened Pandora's box. It was not easy grieving and dealing with my father's side of the family, my mother's side & to add more, my father's girlfriend's side. The funeral, the back taxes owed by my father, my husband loosing his job & my son constantly getting sick... All expenses were on me. To add more "injury" within the span of 9 months I was in a total car wreck, I gave birth to my second child & then I was in a horseback riding accident, that almost paralyzed me. Honestly, what are the chances of going horseback riding for the first time, loosing control & getting thrown off?!

I've really tried my best to deal with things one day at a time & also do it with a smile. But now I find myself dealing with arthritis, kidney problems, crazy medical fees, no job (since the company closed), and bills now reaching almost $60,000. Even as I look at that number now, I honestly feel a sense of nausea...

The only thing I do know is that, I still have a lot in me to give and I've tried, despite it all, to give it back by going back to school to become a licensed nursing practitioner. It may sound crazy & it comes at a very inopportune time (considering that I'm drowning in debt!) but by doing this course, it helps me in so many ways. It calms me... It gives me a sense of purpose, knowing that I may alleviate a person's pain, even in the slightest, which in turn somewhat alleviates mine as well. It also gives me confidence knowing that all the teachers that I have encountered during this course say that they believe in me, in my determination & in my will power to survive & conquer.

So ultimately, I'm asking you this... For your help, to help me help others. Even if you could spare $1.00. One small step, is still a step forward for me. And like I said in the title, despite all the things that I've gone through, I'm still optimistic & I still have a little fight left in me. So please help me fight!

Recently my mother has been in and out of the hospital making it physically and mentally impossible for her to work. She used to be a lawyer for the department of child services, and what she encountered in that job caused her to have flashbacks of her terrible childhood that she suppressed until now. Her youngest son has had four brain surgeries all before he turned 18 and her only daughter has had three knee surgeries keeping her from chasing her dream of being a professional soccer player. All these put together has put a-lot of stress on my family and it is getting hard to pay the bills and support her youngest and her daughter from going to school to get their educations to help the family out as much as possible. My dad has been working three jobs just to get by and just lost his job that has been making it possible to pay for the car insurance. God has blessed us enough to keep going but its getting harder and harder every day. I hope that you find it in your heart to help my family in surviving this terrible time. God bless.

Recently my mother has been in and out of the hospital making it physically and mentally impossible for her to work. She used to be a lawyer for the department of child services, and what she encountered in that job caused her to have flashbacks of her terrible childhood that she suppressed until now. Her youngest son has had four brain surgeries all before he turned 18 and her only daughter has had three knee surgeries keeping her from chasing her dream of being a professional soccer player. All these put together has put a-lot of stress on my family and it is getting hard to pay the bills and support her youngest and her daughter from going to school to get their educations to help the family out as much as possible. My dad has been working three jobs just to get by and just lost his job that has been making it possible to pay for the car insurance. God has blessed us enough to keep going but its getting harder and harder every day. I hope that you find it in your heart to help my family in surviving this terrible time. God bless.

Recently my mother has been in and out of the hospital making it physically and mentally impossible for her to work. She used to be a lawyer for the department of child services, and what she encountered in that job caused her to have flashbacks of her terrible childhood that she suppressed until now. Her youngest son has had four brain surgeries all before he turned 18 and her only daughter has had three knee surgeries keeping her from chasing her dream of being a professional soccer player. All these put together has put a-lot of stress on my family and it is getting hard to pay the bills and support her youngest and her daughter from going to school to get their educations to help the family out as much as possible. My dad has been working three jobs just to get by and just lost his job that has been making it possible to pay for the car insurance. God has blessed us enough to keep going but its getting harder and harder every day. I hope that you find it in your heart to help my family in surviving this terrible time. God bless.

Recently my mother has been in and out of the hospital making it physically and mentally impossible for her to work. She used to be a lawyer for the department of child services, and what she encountered in that job caused her to have flashbacks of her terrible childhood that she suppressed until now. Her youngest son has had four brain surgeries all before he turned 18 and her only daughter has had three knee surgeries keeping her from chasing her dream of being a professional soccer player. All these put together has put a-lot of stress on my family and it is getting hard to pay the bills and support her youngest and her daughter from going to school to get their educations to help the family out as much as possible. My dad has been working three jobs just to get by and just lost his job that has been making it possible to pay for the car insurance. God has blessed us enough to keep going but its getting harder and harder every day. I hope that you find it in your heart to help my family in surviving this terrible time. God bless.

My name is Kimberly, I am a single mom that works and I am attending school full-time. Unfortunately, I have encountered some hard times. I have had numerous health issues the past several months, which caused me to miss a lot of work. I therefore got behind in my rent, utilities, insurance payments...it is a struggle to keep gas in my vehicle, food in the fridge...I am not able to purchase all of my prescribed medication. I don't like asking for assistance but I need the opportunity to obtain a few cash gifts from understanding angels, so that I can catch up on my rent and expenses. The stress of worrying about keeping a place to stay,not having my medication,and providing food and clothes for my son and other needs is killing me. In addition, I would like to help other single parents in some way. I would like to care for infants in the evenings and on weekends. I would charge reasonable prices for evening care and on weekends when the parent needs a break, go shopping or for appointments. In order to get started I need 2 cribs, 2 high chairs, play pen, baby monitor. I also need to take 4 childcare provider classes. Any assistance would be appreciated. My email/pay pal account is lovefaithhopepeacekd@gmail.com. Thank you very much.

My name is Carmen and I will start off by adding as many details to this picture.
In 2005 my family won the visa lottery. The U.S Government approves a limited number of visas every year to foreign nationals. My son has a medical condition for about 9 years now, alopecia areata. The capillary hair left his head in chunks, now being completely bold. I refer to him as he due to a full array of bulling issues encountered in the past and perhaps still possible in the future. He is not growing hair on the head anymore. As a child he dealt with it, however the culture shock and the new school environment were adding extra pressure on his already tormented psychic.

He is fine now due to prednisone infiltration by Dr. S., a great practitioner with one of the best Dermatology Clinics in Nevada. It was not easy and I had to start working 2 jobs during the day and the night shift on weekends as a cashier in Century 21 Theaters.

From 2006 to 2007, I applied with over 200 companies, made phone calls day and night trying to get employment. As 2007 started things got better and I was happy with even extremely low paid jobs I held. My son was getting the right treatment and that was everything I cared at the time. I never applied or accepted any help from any governmental sources, used only the temporary work I got.

The financial situation I was in had a deep impact on our morals and still, we kept high hopes about everything that surrounds us. It was a time not too long ago that made me realize that I do need help and can’t push this anymore. My mother passed away overseas and I could not even travel to see her or say my last good bye. My father is alone, old and I really would like to see him if I could. We still carry around 20K in debt, a dragging debt that became unbearable. We both have limited jobs that keep us alive but never allow the dream we chased here. We make all ends meet paycheck to paycheck with less than a hundred left as extra per month.

I am open an honest, I feel exhausted by this ride and hope that if this debt would be paid back everything will be much better for us. I had over 80K to pay back and did with great sacrifices and tears. I refused bankruptcy or debt settlement as I knew that karma will return. I am grateful for the good that happen in my life and I just want to be able to pay back the remainder and move on. Thank you for reading, understanding and all the help send our way. I will make sure to pay it forward in due time. Thank you.

My name is Carmen and I will start off by adding as many details to this picture.
In 2005 my family won the visa lottery. The U.S Government approves a limited number of visas every year to foreign nationals. My son has a medical condition for about 9 years now, alopecia areata. The capillary hair left his head in chunks, now being completely bold. I refer to him as he due to a full array of bulling issues encountered in the past and perhaps still possible in the future. He is not growing hair on the head anymore. As a child he dealt with it, however the culture shock and the new school environment were adding extra pressure on his already tormented psychic.

He is fine now due to prednisone infiltration by Dr. S., a great practitioner with one of the best Dermatology Clinics in Nevada. It was not easy and I had to start working 2 jobs during the day and the night shift on weekends as a cashier in Century 21 Theaters.

From 2006 to 2007, I applied with over 200 companies, made phone calls day and night trying to get employment. As 2007 started things got better and I was happy with even extremely low paid jobs I held. My son was getting the right treatment and that was everything I cared at the time. I never applied or accepted any help from any governmental sources, used only the temporary work I got.

The financial situation I was in had a deep impact on our morals and still, we kept high hopes about everything that surrounds us. It was a time not too long ago that made me realize that I do need help and can’t push this anymore. My mother passed away overseas and I could not even travel to see her or say my last good bye. My father is alone, old and I really would like to see him if I could. We still carry around 20K in debt, a dragging debt that became unbearable. We both have limited jobs that keep us alive but never allow the dream we chased here. We make all ends meet paycheck to paycheck with less than a hundred left as extra per month.

I am open an honest, I feel exhausted by this ride and hope that if this debt would be paid back everything will be much better for us. I had over 80K to pay back and did with great sacrifices and tears. I refused bankruptcy or debt settlement as I knew that karma will return. I am grateful for the good that happen in my life and I just want to be able to pay back the remainder and move on. Thank you for reading, understanding and all the help send our way. I will make sure to pay it forward in due time. Thank you.

My name is Carmen and I will start off by adding as many details to this picture.
In 2005 my family won the visa lottery. The U.S Government approves a limited number of visas every year to foreign nationals. My son has a medical condition for about 9 years now, alopecia areata. The capillary hair left his head in chunks, now being completely bold. I refer to him as he due to a full array of bulling issues encountered in the past and perhaps still possible in the future. He is not growing hair on the head anymore. As a child he dealt with it, however the culture shock and the new school environment were adding extra pressure on his already tormented psychic.

He is fine now due to prednisone infiltration by Dr. S., a great practitioner with one of the best Dermatology Clinics in Nevada. It was not easy and I had to start working 2 jobs during the day and the night shift on weekends as a cashier in Century 21 Theaters.

From 2006 to 2007, I applied with over 200 companies, made phone calls day and night trying to get employment. As 2007 started things got better and I was happy with even extremely low paid jobs I held. My son was getting the right treatment and that was everything I cared at the time. I never applied or accepted any help from any governmental sources, used only the temporary work I got.

The financial situation I was in had a deep impact on our morals and still, we kept high hopes about everything that surrounds us. It was a time not too long ago that made me realize that I do need help and can’t push this anymore. My mother passed away overseas and I could not even travel to see her or say my last good bye. My father is alone, old and I really would like to see him if I could. We still carry around 20K in debt, a dragging debt that became unbearable. We both have limited jobs that keep us alive but never allow the dream we chased here. We make all ends meet paycheck to paycheck with less than a hundred left as extra per month.

I am open an honest, I feel exhausted by this ride and hope that if this debt would be paid back everything will be much better for us. I had over 80K to pay back and did with great sacrifices and tears. I refused bankruptcy or debt settlement as I knew that karma will return. I am grateful for the good that happen in my life and I just want to be able to pay back the remainder and move on. Thank you for reading, understanding and all the help send our way. I will make sure to pay it forward in due time. Thank you.

My name is Carmen and I will start off by adding as many details to this picture.
In 2005 my family won the visa lottery. The U.S Government approves a limited number of visas every year to foreign nationals. My son has a medical condition for about 9 years now, alopecia areata. The capillary hair left his head in chunks, now being completely bold. I refer to him as he due to a full array of bulling issues encountered in the past and perhaps still possible in the future. He is not growing hair on the head anymore. As a child he dealt with it, however the culture shock and the new school environment were adding extra pressure on his already tormented psychic.
He is fine now due to prednisone infiltration by Dr. S., a great practitioner with one of the best Dermatology Clinics in Nevada. It was not easy and I had to start working 2 jobs during the day and the night shift on weekends as a cashier in Century 21 Theaters.

From 2006 to 2007, I applied with over 200 companies, made phone calls day and night trying to get employment. As 2007 started things got better and I was happy with even extremely low paid jobs I held. My son was getting the right treatment and that was everything I cared at the time. I never applied or accepted any help from any governmental sources, used only the temporary work I got.
The financial situation I was in had a deep impact on our morals and still, we kept high hopes about everything that surrounds us. It was a time not too long ago that made me realize that I do need help and can’t push this anymore. My mother passed away overseas and I could not even travel to see her or say my last good bye. My father is alone, old and I really would like to see him if I could. We still carry around 20K in debt, a dragging debt that became unbearable. We both have limited jobs that keep us alive but never allow the dream we chased here. We make all ends meet paycheck to paycheck with less than a hundred left as extra per month.

I am open an honest, I feel exhausted by this ride and hope that if this debt would be paid back everything will be much better for us. I had over 80K to pay back and did with great sacrifices and tears. I refused bankruptcy or debt settlement as I knew that karma will return. I am grateful for the good that happen in my life and I just want to be able to pay back the remainder and move on. Thank you for reading, understanding and all the help send our way. I will make sure to pay it forward in due time. Thank you.

HELLO! Yes Hi and thank you, I seem to have encountered a terrible fate... I seem to have gone to a rave last week... and I believe to have met the girl of my life... we really connected... and I felt inspired by her... me being a virgin and all, you know waiting for the right girl, it's really hard these days to find a genuine girl that's not a whore and has some character developmental standards... anyways... I did not get her number only her name and the thing is, that I promised this girl which could very likely be the girl i fall in love with and marry... i simply told her I would see her at the same place and the following week... so please if anyone believes in love at first site please help me in squiring 25$ for the admission fee.... thank you I sincerely owe everything to you!