Doubt Tags

I need prayer and help.
All was well just a year ago. I had a good paying job, a beginning side business, and a blessed life. I left my job to move 2000 miles so my wife and I could care for her mother. I used my savings to rent a home for us and paid months in advance to cover us while I looked for work.
I have been unable to find work, my mother-in-law passed, my wife was diagnosed with cancer and we no longer had good health coverage, and my savings ran out. My small side business can only provide enough to cover the basics and since there is nothing left over, it cannot grow. We are 3-4 months behind our bills and all are getting impatient. The medical care my wife needs is about to end if I can’t make a payment in the next few days.
I am a disabled veteran of Desert Storm and am limited with some of the work I can find. It has been a struggle to try to stay positive and hopeful this past year. The same banks offering loans when times were good are denying any assistance now that times are bad. I pray daily for a change.
As I started in this letter, I need prayer and help.
I know God hears me and has a plan for me and even in our circumstances, I never doubt His love for me. I just need more voices to reach out and let Him know I need Him more than ever at this moment.
Thank you.

I have lost several jobs in the last 3 years, most of which were layoffs. Each time I lost ab job, I got a little bit further behind in my bills, and I owe a lot of money. I am at the point right now where I can either pay rent or get my car fixed. I currently live in Pittsburgh but have been trying to move back to California where my son and friends are. I don't care if I get all of my debt paid -- all I want is enough money to move back to california to be with my son. I have no doubt that I will find a job quickly, if I can just get the money to move and settle in. I would like to ask for $5000. Once I can get there, I will work on paying my own bills off. The stress of this has been extremeley hard on me. So if anyone could help me out, I would be forever grateful.

I really doubt this will mean anything to someone looking to donate but I don't really know where else to turn. My daughter and I live with my mom to help her with bills since my father passed. We are trying to come up with the money to pay the electic bill that is 2 months behind but with all the other bills we can't keep up. I work full time but it is a bit of a struggle right now getting bills paid down. Any little bit helps and will be put toward the bill. So very thankful.

What do you say when you are entreating an entire world of strangers to come to your aid? How do you sound deserving of their help? How do you express, without writing a novel, why you are in need, how you came to be there, how you came to choose this way of seeking help, and how very afraid you feel.
First, the reason I chose this method. I was feeling frustrated one night after being asked to work another fund raiser. While there is no doubt that the family is very much in need their financial security was markedly better than my own. I was wondering why it seemed that it was always people who already had some means at their disposal who got that kind of sympathy and help. Obviously I was feeling self centered but still the thought remained, what kind of resources were there out there for people like me, people barely above poverty level and struggling to keep from going under. So...I started searching the internet and came across references to "begging" online. I was shocked, I was appalled...I was hopeful. The anonymity of it was a big plus.
Feeling so hopeless, and out of control is very frightening for me. I work with the public. The street people call me Smiley because I try to always stay upbeat while at work and they know that if I can I will always help them with a dollar or two when they need it. There are many people ( even those who are only a few years younger than my 55) who call me Mom and have come to me for assistance both emotionally and financially. I have two adult children of my own and many more that have come through my household and are a part of my family even though they are not related biologically. I send my own Mother money a couple times a month. She lives on a fixed income that doesn't even cover here cost of living. I can no longer afford these things but I don't know how to cut off the aid to others even though I, myself, am in need of aid.
My husband and I come from poor families and were determined to make a better life for our own children. Since we both only had high school educations neither one of us are in well paying jobs but we have always managed to survive and our children never had to worry about whether Mom and Dad were going to be able to feed and clothe them. But things have gotten progressively worse this year.
I tried to start a small business in order to provide my oldest grandchildren and one of my children with a secure job and something meaningful to do. Trying to keep them out of the "system" and teach them to have self respect, and trying to provide a means for them to have financial security. But the business never picked up and we were funneling money into it...my daughter lost her husband and we were also supporting her household. The financial strain has put us in debt that we cannot pay. Our cars have broken down, there are three running vehicles for six drivers to use getting to work and looking for work but no money to repair or replace them. My daughter and her children are living in my home, having lost theirs, and my husband and I are staying with my youngest and her family. Her husband was recently laid off and she is expecting her second child. My husband had to have surgery and that put him off work for six weeks, and now in order to keep his job we have to somehow pay for hearing aids ($3000 for the least expensive ones). Although it is hard we have stuck together and are helping each other as best we can.
The problem is that I see no end in sight. Just the electric bill is $6oo a month thru the winter months. Fuel is outrageous. Food for this many people (5 adults, 3 late teens, and 3 small children) is very expensive in this state. Mortgage payments, gas for cars, and phones...these are things everyone has to pay. I know there are many who are far worse off than I, at least we still have roofs over our heads. But the output is so much higher than the income and each month, each WEEK, sees me feeling a little more desperate. How will I, will we, end up? Will we all be living on the street next year? The interior of Alaska is no climate for the homeless. I don't know what it will take to make this better, to make my family secure but I hope there is help out there for us.

I doubt anybody really ready these. But if there is anyone who does, please help. I have no money. I just started a new job a week ago. I wont get paid for another two weeks and dont have any money for gas, or food, or anything. ANYthing would help. God Bless.

Hi - I know this is probably going to sound ridiculous, but I really have nowhere else to go at this point. I am 22 years old, and I just moved out of my mom's house. Well, "escaped" would probably be a better term for it - my mom is very emotionally, psychologically, and verbally abusive, and she used a lot of things of that nature against me to keep me from leaving her. For the longest time, I thought my life was normal, but when I became 20, I realized that things in my life were far from that. I have been planning this jump for years, and I finally managed to do it. I literally had to wait until she was at work before I could get my things and move in with my friend. As of now, I am seeking employment of my own (I worked with my mother before, which is obviously out of the question now), and I am struggling with a lot of different financial situations. My vehicle is very old and the license plates are expired, and I have no money to update or repair them. I have two traffic tickets due for them by the end of April, and I am very worried about it. I am also wishing to go to school, but I seriously doubt that is going to happen at any point soon because of my situation. Things just seem to be getting worse and worse the more that I think about them, but anything is better than being under my mom. So please, if you have a heart and can understand my situation, I would ask that you donate whatever you wish to help a young woman out on her own. Thank you very much for your consideration, and may you be blessed.

Hi - I know this is probably going to sound ridiculous, but I really have nowhere else to go at this point. I am 22 years old, and I just moved out of my mom's house. Well, "escaped" would probably be a better term for it - my mom is very emotionally, psychologically, and verbally abusive, and she used a lot of things of that nature against me to keep me from leaving her. For the longest time, I thought my life was normal, but when I became 20, I realized that things in my life were far from that. I have been planning this jump for years, and I finally managed to do it. I literally had to wait until she was at work before I could get my things and move in with my friend. As of now, I am seeking employment of my own (I worked with my mother before, which is obviously out of the question now), and I am struggling with a lot of different financial situations. My vehicle is very old and the license plates are expired, and I have no money to update or repair them. I have two traffic tickets due for them by the end of April, and I am very worried about it. I am also wishing to go to school, but I seriously doubt that is going to happen at any point soon because of my situation. Things just seem to be getting worse and worse the more that I think about them, but anything is better than being under my mom. So please, if you have a heart and can understand my situation, I would ask that you donate whatever you wish to help a young woman out on her own. Thank you very much for your consideration, and may you be blessed.

This is very new to me. Doubt anyone actually reads these, but I am desperate. I have 5 children and recently took in another. We cannot afford daycare for all of our children so I work while my spouse stays home to care for the kids. There are somedays where we are flipping couch cushions to find change for milk or diapers. We live paycheck to paycheck and rarely have any extra for even school activities. I spent a year racking up credit card debt just to get by. Now I am in deeper than ever. I no longer have credit cards and will never get one again. I want to pay off my car, student loans and other debt so I can provide fully for my family. I know I screwed up and have learned my lesson. Now I am begging for help! Please; anything will help.

This is very new to me. Doubt anyone actually reads these, but I am desperate. I have 5 children and recently took in another. We cannot afford daycare for all of our children so I work while my spouse stays home to care for the kids. There are somedays where we are flipping couch cushions to find change for milk or diapers. We live paycheck to paycheck and rarely have any extra for even school activities. I spent a year racking up credit card debt just to get by. Now I am in deeper than ever. I no longer have credit cards and will never get one again. I want to pay off my car, student loans and other debt so I can provide fully for my family. I know I screwed up and have learned my lesson. Now I am begging for help! Please; anything will help.

Hello there fellow earthlivers,

Before I will begin my letter I will first introduce myself. My name is Mike, I am 16 years old and from the Netherlands, if you are a millionaire or just someone that can afford it to give away money I encourage you to continue reading. I know it already sounds it will be like a ''begging letter''. And yes it kinda will be like that. There are people that will need money more than I am, but I am bold enough to ask for it. The U.S. census bureau estimates the world population passed 7 billion on March 12, 2012. There is no doubt possible that there are some very kind persons that awards this to other people. I would like to have a starting capital, so I don't have to work that hard anymore to achieve things. Life is just about working hard so after some time if you have saved some money you can do or buy that one thing you would like to have. You just live life once, and I think you should just live it up as you wanted to. But unfortunately you can't because there are to many rules in the way and don't forget about the money you will need to do this. Fortunately I am doing a good study, so I hope this will lead me to a good job in the future. I already said I would like to have a starting capital. I am working as a postman now, but that will just edify this starting capital a little bit. My parents are both working, but they haven't the ''best'' job either. My dad has his own construction business, but he is just working on his own he has no staff. All the money that he earns goes straight to a house that he must rebuild. He wanted to do buy houses and rent them immediately. This went well just a couple of times. But 10 years ago he did put his money in a wrong house what's even nice to say. And it still isn't finished yet. The walls and roof are there but on the inside is a lot to do. If there would be some money that will be donated, I will certainly give something to my father. I would like to start this buy and rent a house progress too, if everything goes well you can earn some nice extra money with it. My mother schedule dates at a rating agency, she is working 3 days a week, to sustain us and do the payments for the house. Now you know a little bit of the things where it was mostly about, I hope you understand it well and I will wait for answers. If you have any questions (maybe something like this: I don't believe the house story, can you send me pictures of it?) feel free to ask me. Contact me: mikeprinsen@rocketmail.com God bless you all and have a nice day! Mike

Hello there fellow earthlivers,

Before I will begin my letter I will first introduce myself. My name is Mike, I am 16 years old and from the Netherlands, if you are a millionaire or just someone that can afford it to give away money I encourage you to continue reading. I know it already sounds it will be like a ''begging letter''. And yes it kinda will be like that. There are people that will need money more than I am, but I am bold enough to ask for it. The U.S. census bureau estimates the world population passed 7 billion on March 12, 2012. There is no doubt possible that there are some very kind persons that awards this to other people. I would like to have a starting capital, so I don't have to work that hard anymore to achieve things. Life is just about working hard so after some time if you have saved some money you can do or buy that one thing you would like to have. You just live life once, and I think you should just live it up as you wanted to. But unfortunately you can't because there are to many rules in the way and don't forget about the money you will need to do this. Fortunately I am doing a good study, so I hope this will lead me to a good job in the future. I already said I would like to have a starting capital. I am working as a postman now, but that will just edify this starting capital a little bit. My parents are both working, but they haven't the ''best'' job either. My dad has his own construction business, but he is just working on his own he has no staff. All the money that he earns goes straight to a house that he must rebuild. He wanted to do buy houses and rent them immediately. This went well just a couple of times. But 10 years ago he did put his money in a wrong house what's even nice to say. And it still isn't finished yet. The walls and roof are there but on the inside is a lot to do. If there would be some money that will be donated, I will certainly give something to my father. I would like to start this buy and rent a house progress too, if everything goes well you can earn some nice extra money with it. My mother schedule dates at a rating agency, she is working 3 days a week, to sustain us and do the payments for the house. Now you know a little bit of the things where it was mostly about, I hope you understand it well and I will wait for answers. If you have any questions (maybe something like this: I don't believe the house story, can you send me pictures of it?) feel free to ask me. Contact me: mikeprinsen@rocketmail.com God bless you all and have a nice day! Mike

Hello there fellow earthlivers,

Before I will begin my letter I will first introduce myself. My name is Mike, I am 16 years old and from the Netherlands, if you are a millionaire or just someone that can afford it to give away money I encourage you to continue reading. I know it already sounds it will be like a ''begging letter''. And yes it kinda will be like that. There are people that will need money more than I am, but I am bold enough to ask for it. The U.S. census bureau estimates the world population passed 7 billion on March 12, 2012. There is no doubt possible that there are some very kind persons that awards this to other people. I would like to have a starting capital, so I don't have to work that hard anymore to achieve things. Life is just about working hard so after some time if you have saved some money you can do or buy that one thing you would like to have. You just live life once, and I think you should just live it up as you wanted to. But unfortunately you can't because there are to many rules in the way and don't forget about the money you will need to do this. Fortunately I am doing a good study, so I hope this will lead me to a good job in the future. I already said I would like to have a starting capital. I am working as a postman now, but that will just edify this starting capital a little bit. My parents are both working, but they haven't the ''best'' job either. My dad has his own construction business, but he is just working on his own he has no staff. All the money that he earns goes straight to a house that he must rebuild. He wanted to do buy houses and rent them immediately. This went well just a couple of times. But 10 years ago he did put his money in a wrong house what's even nice to say. And it still isn't finished yet. The walls and roof are there but on the inside is a lot to do. If there would be some money that will be donated, I will certainly give something to my father. I would like to start this buy and rent a house progress too, if everything goes well you can earn some nice extra money with it. My mother schedule dates at a rating agency, she is working 3 days a week, to sustain us and do the payments for the house. Now you know a little bit of the things where it was mostly about, I hope you understand it well and I will wait for answers. If you have any questions (maybe something like this: I don't believe the house story, can you send me pictures of it?) feel free to ask me. Contact me: mikeprinsen@rocketmail.com God bless you all and have a nice day! Mike

Hello there fellow earthlivers,

Before I will begin my letter I will first introduce myself. My name is Mike, I am 16 years old and from the Netherlands, if you are a millionaire or just someone that can afford it to give away money I encourage you to continue reading. I know it already sounds it will be like a ''begging letter''. And yes it kinda will be like that. There are people that will need money more than I am, but I am bold enough to ask for it. The U.S. census bureau estimates the world population passed 7 billion on March 12, 2012. There is no doubt possible that there are some very kind persons that awards this to other people. I would like to have a starting capital, so I don't have to work that hard anymore to achieve things. Life is just about working hard so after some time if you have saved some money you can do or buy that one thing you would like to have. You just live life once, and I think you should just live it up as you wanted to. But unfortunately you can't because there are to many rules in the way and don't forget about the money you will need to do this. Fortunately I am doing a good study, so I hope this will lead me to a good job in the future. I already said I would like to have a starting capital. I am working as a postman now, but that will just edify this starting capital a little bit. My parents are both working, but they haven't the ''best'' job either. My dad has his own construction business, but he is just working on his own he has no staff. All the money that he earns goes straight to a house that he must rebuild. He wanted to do buy houses and rent them immediately. This went well just a couple of times. But 10 years ago he did put his money in a wrong house what's even nice to say. And it still isn't finished yet. The walls and roof are there but on the inside is a lot to do. If there would be some money that will be donated, I will certainly give something to my father. I would like to start this buy and rent a house progress too, if everything goes well you can earn some nice extra money with it. My mother schedule dates at a rating agency, she is working 3 days a week, to sustain us and do the payments for the house. Now you know a little bit of the things where it was mostly about, I hope you understand it well and I will wait for answers. If you have any questions (maybe something like this: I don't believe the house story, can you send me pictures of it?) feel free to ask me. Contact me: mikeprinsen@rocketmail.com God bless you all and have a nice day! Mike

I moved in with my girlfriend 2 months ago. I left Boston to come be with her in NYC. My work had run dry until April. She had just been evicted from her apartment by a slumlord landlord who stole her belongings. We were living from paycheck to paycheck. Supporting each other as best we could. We didn't have enough money to get an apartment of our own, so we got a one month sublet, which ended up being a nightmare-living in a closet with our 2 cats, and dealing with the scum of the earth roommates who made us feel uncomfortable, unwelcome, and awful. During that first Monty, we spent our savings just living. We both work in the creative fields, myself a musician, an she an actress. Work was spotty at best. We borrowed money from friends and family, feeling terrible about ourselves every time. Mid-month, I decided to file for unemployment. (something i had never thought I'd ever do)
The money we were expecting from that would have paid her union dues, giving her a pay bump by about 400%. This would have enabled us to not only survive, but get on our feet and pay back our friends/family. About a week and a half after filing, my boss calls me and tells me I can't file, or he'll go out of business due to the fact he's never paid insurance on his employees. He convinced me he'd cover my unemployment pay (totaling $4,343) if I agreed to recind my claim, thus saving him tens of thousands of dollars in back-taxes. I agreed. As soon as I'd done that- he tells me his lawyer advised him not to do that, and that he never agreed to that in the first place.
I have now been playing phone tag with my unemployment agent for weeks trying to restart the claim, and have the state go after him for the money he owes them.
Meanwhile, at the end of January, we had to move again. We couldn't find a place in time, and ended up staying in a motel in Stamford for a night while we made appointments to see a few places. We awoke to the front desk and housekeeping ladies banging on our door, telling us we have to leave or they'll call the cops. We are still fighting Hotwire.com for charging us for that.
Luckily, we found a place that night. The expenses of having to move though, totaled over $500. (rental car, motel, storage)
The apartment we are in now is shared with 4 other people. It's a two bedroom. There are 3 people sleeping in the living room. There are cockroaches. We once again have to move out, by March 7th. We have applied for foodstamps. (they have yet to be approved)
This time around, we have no money to move with. Our resources have been tapped. We are out of options. Work is still spotty, and we have borrowed from everyone we know.
We have a week to come up with rent, cell phone bills, and moving expenses. Nevermind money for food to ear everyday. (as I type this, we are preparing to go out and sell some things for food money)
I have never been this scared in my life. I doubt that writing this is going to make a difference, but I have to try everything.

If anyone reading this wants a specific number that would get us out of this- its $5,000. Here's the breakdown:
$1,000 rent. (not counting a deposit)
$1760 my girlfriends union dues (which means she makes enough to get us on our feet)
$175 storage fee
$250 cell phone bills (it's a month late, an we're on the same plan)
$130 car rental to get our stuff out of the apartment
$40 rental car gas (they charge $9 a gallon if you don't fill the tank when you return the vehicle)
$1,000 for food for the two of us and cats' supplies. (food,litter)
And the rest would be to pay back some of the people who've already been there for us helping us along the way.

Please. Please help. We are a young couple in love. Scared. Trapped. Out of options.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you will find it in your heart to consider helping us.

I'm a 33 year old mother of three boys. I grew up in an abusive home and proceeded on to an abusive marriage that lasted 13 years. From that marriage I have 2 sons, ages 13 and 11. My 13 year old was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome at age 9; my 11 year old has conduct disorder and has a tentative diagnosis of bipolar disorder. About 4 years ago, I finally had the courage to walk out of my abusive marriage and try to build a safe and normal life for my sons. Fast forward a year, and I found the love of my life and soulmate and remarried.I moved 5 hours away from my ex husband, thinking we would be safer. My ex husband remarried as well. Unfortunately, he married an attorney. Over the course of the last 3 years, we have been kept in court with custody battles and such, while my ex used his new wife's knowledge of the law to find every possible way to avoid paying child support. WE had to pay for an attorney, while his wife represented him for free. Not to mention, the court where we had to go for these cases was less than a mile from his home, while we had to travel 5 hours each way. My current husband and I have a son together now who is almost 2 years old. For 6 months of the last year my ex had finally been paying child support. My husband works to provide for us, while also having to support his son from a previous marriage. That's supporting 6 people on one income! So, having the child support really helped. (I am currently unemployed as we have no means of transportation and live in a rural area with no public transportation, and also have 2 children who are too old for daycare, yet cannot be left unattended due to their disorders.) We werent wealthy by any means, but we managed to make it from week to week and keep our bills paid. However, in October, my husband's employer went out of business with no notice. In the same week, my ex ceased making child support payments and the transmission went out in our vehicle. My husband, out of desperation, found a friend two towns away who would allow him to stay with him so my husband would be in an area with public transportation so he could look for work ( the friend has a one bedroom home that would not house us all, so the kids and I stayed here). All he has managed to find so far is a part time fast food job that barely covers his child support payments. This morning I was delivered the court eviction papers that will render my children and I homeless. If this happens, I have no doubt that my abusive ex will do everything he can to take my children away from me. At this point, I do not even have a way to get to the grocery store, let alone to another state to fight for custody of my children, and I certainly cannot afford legal representation. Our current situation is this: my husband and I must live in two different towns because of lack of transportation and income; I am stranded in the middle of nowhere with two special needs children and a toddler; we are on the verge of eviction with no place to go (neither my husband nor I have any family who can help); all of our utilities will be turned off within a week (no water or heat, we already do not have a phone); and my vindictive, abusive ex husband who does not even bother to financially support his children could potentially regain custody if we find ourselves homeless. I am living in a nightmare right now, and am at the end of my rope! I have no other place to turn and I am really praying that this option can help me find a light at the end of this long, dark tunnel. My h usband and I are both abuse survivors who have children with special needs. We are currently full time college students, studying psychology and social work (3.88 GPA's for both of us) because we have been through just about everything imaginable and want to use our past negative experiences to help others who are suffering or surviving and trying to cope. Our only goals in life are to give our children a decent life and help others who need it when we are able. All we need is a little help getting to the point where we are able.

I've been struggling to keep my family's needs met. Work is incredibly hard to find. We have had to get help for rent and cut back on food even.

I doubt anyone really cares about our situation but if you do, a donation of anything would be extremely helpful. I can't imagine anyone going out of their way to visit this website with the intention of helping some random person. But might as well try anyway... Thanks for reading my post.

Hi everyone who reads this!

Where to begin?
life was ok, not amazing but just ok, then we decided to get in over our heads, we lived in a flat with no garden and had 2 kids, so we bought our own home, money became tighter than tight.
Worst thing is when my man lost his job through redundancy!, arrears soon mounted up on everything not just the mortgage!, all other bills grew too!
Sadly it took its toll on us, by this time we had 2 new kids so we totalled a family of 6 at this point and we got very little help.
During this tough time things have fell apart, we have been through some stuff I wont even bring up and almost lost our house over 3 times.
Its almost impossible to get help financially.
My partner managed to find another job, but it was only a temporary position and the debts cant get paid off, feels like it would take an eternity.
Every time the kids ask for something, its the same answer "sorry, cant afford it".
I have suffered from problems with depression for years and my partner finds that as he gets older, manual work takes its toll, he suffered complete paralasis down his left side as a child, nobody here cares, we dont try and claim benefits, we just take what they give us each week and its not a lot, it wont be long before we get threats of eviction proceedings no doubt.
I want to point out that my partner has always worked and I have always been a stay at home mum, we never claimed benefits until he lost his job, we are no scroungers, we want to earn our own money and it was really a downgrading experience for my man to get treated like "just another waste of space" at the local job center!
This whole cyber begging thing, I stumbled upon it quite literally, at first I laughed, thought its seemed silly and funny but then I thought that perhaps it wasn't so dumb, what if someone out there cared enough to help total strangers?

well I dont know what to say other than any offer is welcome?

thanks :)

and thanks for reading this,that in itself is appreciated, I am not really sure how this works but a friend told me about this after reading about it in a magazine article.
Well let me start at the begining, for the last 20 years I have worked for the same company and never had a days sickness, yes not one single day, in October 2011 I went to work one day and just quit felling I had just had enough, I did not tell them I was feeling depressed & suicidal and sick, I just said I no longer want to work here and I left that day.
As I was depressed and on the verge of killing myself, something I had actually felt for many years, I spent the next three days at home not washing,cleaning or speaking to anyone, I looked on the internet and searched "The best way to commit suicide" I was that low, I had no money and in fact had huge debts, to my friends and family I was always the strong one always the one person they could rely on,but reality was I was a broken man my spirit my soul was empty I wanted to die.
After those three days of no sleep and thoughts of how I would die I took a shower, whilst in the shower I just completely broke down I just lay on the floor in uncontrolable crying I just lay there for about an hour, and suddenly it came to me that I needed to speak to some one and quick.
Enter my Sister, since childhood my Sister has been like a mother to me(My own mother left when I was 3) she is truly a beautiful person a wonderful role model and just the most fantastic spirited person I know. Why I had not just told her how I felt at the start I just dont know, because we talk about everything, maybe its the depression and anxiety of it all, I dont know.
I called her in tears and told her I need her to come over, she was here within half an hour, we spent the day crying she more than me, I was kinda cried out, she had never seen me cry since I was probably ten years old, that is probably a sadness in itself.
She did everything for me in those early days, took me to my Doctors a Doctors I had not been to in 10 years, it had been that long that when we booked the appointment I was informed my Doctor died 4 years ago. Anyway I was put under a mental health program and prescribed Anti-depressants and also some sleeping tablets(these killed me my spirit and thoughts were numbed). my sister has been my Angel my saviour, there is no doubt in my mind I would be dead now if it was not for my sister, thinks are still bad, very bad at times, but I see my sister every day she comes around cooks,talks does coffee and is constantly on the phone(sometimes this does my head in) but I understand that she is scared that I may harm myself,she has come to the doctors and psychiatrist with my giving me huge support and a hand to hold that I needed, I cant tell you in words how special she is to me, I am not actually suicidal at the moment although I still think if I got a terminal illness this would be ideal, mad I know but I am being honest, I have huge debts and on sick benefit but this is not enough to live on or enough to pay debts. I actually owe £50,000 and I know this will never be paid so I will lose my home and everything else that goes with bankruptcy, but I will always have my sister their supporting me, she has helped me financially for three months but I dont want this to continue its wrong.
Well now to my BEG, well I dont want money for my debts I understand they are way too much to ever believe I can pay them back, no the reason I want help is because later this year my sister is 50 yes the big Five O and for the last three years she has been kinda planning what she will do and where she will go, she has decided that she wants to rent a Villa in Spain and have all her friends & family come for one week, when we discussed this last year obviuosly I was always included in this week, but I do not want her paying for me its Her birthday after all, I will not be able to pay my own way and I will not be working in the next few months as I am soon to under go councilling, the truth is I dont really want to go as I am actually feeling stressed about it all, hoping it goes away, but at the same time I understand how much it means to her to have me there, I know she wont take no for an answer and will want to pay for me.
All I ask is that if anyone on here could donate so I can at least pay some part in some way to my own way.She is not going until August or September and I think it will cost around £300 as a guess maybe slightly more.
If just a little from a lot of people then I can make some head way, or if you just want to mail me if you have similar problems as I have learned that talking problems through does help.
I know its a long beg but I want you to know the background.
Thanks for reading and hopefully you can help in some small way.

and thanks for reading this,that in itself is appreciated, I am not really sure how this works but a friend told me about this after reading about it in a magazine article.
Well let me start at the begining, for the last 20 years I have worked for the same company and never had a days sickness, yes not one single day, in October 2011 I went to work one day and just quit felling I had just had enough, I did not tell them I was feeling depressed & suicidal and sick, I just said I no longer want to work here and I left that day.
As I was depressed and on the verge of killing myself, something I had actually felt for many years, I spent the next three days at home not washing,cleaning or speaking to anyone, I looked on the internet and searched "The best way to commit suicide" I was that low, I had no money and in fact had huge debts, to my friends and family I was always the strong one always the one person they could rely on,but reality was I was a broken man my spirit my soul was empty I wanted to die.
After those three days of no sleep and thoughts of how I would die I took a shower, whilst in the shower I just completely broke down I just lay on the floor in uncontrolable crying I just lay there for about an hour, and suddenly it came to me that I needed to speak to some one and quick.
Enter my Sister, since childhood my Sister has been like a mother to me(My own mother left when I was 3) she is truly a beautiful person a wonderful role model and just the most fantastic spirited person I know. Why I had not just told her how I felt at the start I just dont know, because we talk about everything, maybe its the depression and anxiety of it all, I dont know.
I called her in tears and told her I need her to come over, she was here within half an hour, we spent the day crying she more than me, I was kinda cried out, she had never seen me cry since I was probably ten years old, that is probably a sadness in itself.
She did everything for me in those early days, took me to my Doctors a Doctors I had not been to in 10 years, it had been that long that when we booked the appointment I was informed my Doctor died 4 years ago. Anyway I was put under a mental health program and prescribed Anti-depressants and also some sleeping tablets(these killed me my spirit and thoughts were numbed). my sister has been my Angel my saviour, there is no doubt in my mind I would be dead now if it was not for my sister, thinks are still bad, very bad at times, but I see my sister every day she comes around cooks,talks does coffee and is constantly on the phone(sometimes this does my head in) but I understand that she is scared that I may harm myself,she has come to the doctors and psychiatrist with my giving me huge support and a hand to hold that I needed, I cant tell you in words how special she is to me, I am not actually suicidal at the moment although I still think if I got a terminal illness this would be ideal, mad I know but I am being honest, I have huge debts and on sick benefit but this is not enough to live on or enough to pay debts. I actually owe £50,000 and I know this will never be paid so I will lose my home and everything else that goes with bankruptcy, but I will always have my sister their supporting me, she has helped me financially for three months but I dont want this to continue its wrong.
Well now to my BEG, well I dont want money for my debts I understand they are way too much to ever believe I can pay them back, no the reason I want help is because later this year my sister is 50 yes the big Five O and for the last three years she has been kinda planning what she will do and where she will go, she has decided that she wants to rent a Villa in Spain and have all her friends & family come for one week, when we discussed this last year obviuosly I was always included in this week, but I do not want her paying for me its Her birthday after all, I will not be able to pay my own way and I will not be working in the next few months as I am soon to under go councilling, the truth is I dont really want to go as I am actually feeling stressed about it all, hoping it goes away, but at the same time I understand how much it means to her to have me there, I know she wont take no for an answer and will want to pay for me.
All I ask is that if anyone on here could donate so I can at least pay some part in some way to my own way.She is not going until August or September and I think it will cost around £300 as a guess maybe slightly more.
If just a little from a lot of people then I can make some head way, or if you just want to mail me if you have similar problems as I have learned that talking problems through does help.
I know its a long beg but I want you to know the background.
Thanks for reading and hopefully you can help in some small way.

and thanks for reading this,that in itself is appreciated, I am not really sure how this works but a friend told me about this after reading about it in a magazine article.
Well let me start at the begining, for the last 20 years I have worked for the same company and never had a days sickness, yes not one single day, in October 2011 I went to work one day and just quit felling I had just had enough, I did not tell them I was feeling depressed & suicidal and sick, I just said I no longer want to work here and I left that day.
As I was depressed and on the verge of killing myself, something I had actually felt for many years, I spent the next three days at home not washing,cleaning or speaking to anyone, I looked on the internet and searched "The best way to commit suicide" I was that low, I had no money and in fact had huge debts, to my friends and family I was always the strong one always the one person they could rely on,but reality was I was a broken man my spirit my soul was empty I wanted to die.
After those three days of no sleep and thoughts of how I would die I took a shower, whilst in the shower I just completely broke down I just lay on the floor in uncontrolable crying I just lay there for about an hour, and suddenly it came to me that I needed to speak to some one and quick.
Enter my Sister, since childhood my Sister has been like a mother to me(My own mother left when I was 3) she is truly a beautiful person a wonderful role model and just the most fantastic spirited person I know. Why I had not just told her how I felt at the start I just dont know, because we talk about everything, maybe its the depression and anxiety of it all, I dont know.
I called her in tears and told her I need her to come over, she was here within half an hour, we spent the day crying she more than me, I was kinda cried out, she had never seen me cry since I was probably ten years old, that is probably a sadness in itself.
She did everything for me in those early days, took me to my Doctors a Doctors I had not been to in 10 years, it had been that long that when we booked the appointment I was informed my Doctor died 4 years ago. Anyway I was put under a mental health program and prescribed Anti-depressants and also some sleeping tablets(these killed me my spirit and thoughts were numbed). my sister has been my Angel my saviour, there is no doubt in my mind I would be dead now if it was not for my sister, thinks are still bad, very bad at times, but I see my sister every day she comes around cooks,talks does coffee and is constantly on the phone(sometimes this does my head in) but I understand that she is scared that I may harm myself,she has come to the doctors and psychiatrist with my giving me huge support and a hand to hold that I needed, I cant tell you in words how special she is to me, I am not actually suicidal at the moment although I still think if I got a terminal illness this would be ideal, mad I know but I am being honest, I have huge debts and on sick benefit but this is not enough to live on or enough to pay debts. I actually owe £50,000 and I know this will never be paid so I will lose my home and everything else that goes with bankruptcy, but I will always have my sister their supporting me, she has helped me financially for three months but I dont want this to continue its wrong.
Well now to my BEG, well I dont want money for my debts I understand they are way too much to ever believe I can pay them back, no the reason I want help is because later this year my sister is 50 yes the big Five O and for the last three years she has been kinda planning what she will do and where she will go, she has decided that she wants to rent a Villa in Spain and have all her friends & family come for one week, when we discussed this last year obviuosly I was always included in this week, but I do not want her paying for me its Her birthday after all, I will not be able to pay my own way and I will not be working in the next few months as I am soon to under go councilling, the truth is I dont really want to go as I am actually feeling stressed about it all, hoping it goes away, but at the same time I understand how much it means to her to have me there, I know she wont take no for an answer and will want to pay for me.
All I ask is that if anyone on here could donate so I can at least pay some part in some way to my own way.She is not going until August or September and I think it will cost around £300 as a guess maybe slightly more.
If just a little from a lot of people then I can make some head way, or if you just want to mail me if you have similar problems as I have learned that talking problems through does help.
I know its a long beg but I want you to know the background.
Thanks for reading and hopefully you can help in some small way.
My paypal account is added, maybe you can spare a few pence to help

Hi and thanks for reading this,that in itself is appreciated, I am not really sure how this works but a friend told me about this after reading about it in a magazine article.
Well let me start at the begining, for the last 20 years I have worked for the same company and never had a days sickness, yes not one single day, in October 2011 I went to work one day and just quit felling I had just had enough, I did not tell them I was feeling depressed & suicidal and sick, I just said I no longer want to work here and I left that day.
As I was depressed and on the verge of killing myself, something I had actually felt for many years, I spent the next three days at home not washing,cleaning or speaking to anyone, I looked on the internet and searched "The best way to commit suicide" I was that low, I had no money and in fact had huge debts, to my friends and family I was always the strong one always the one person they could rely on,but reality was I was a broken man my spirit my soul was empty I wanted to die.
After those three days of no sleep and thoughts of how I would die I took a shower, whilst in the shower I just completely broke down I just lay on the floor in uncontrolable crying I just lay there for about an hour, and suddenly it came to me that I needed to speak to some one and quick.
Enter my Sister, since childhood my Sister has been like a mother to me(My own mother left when I was 3) she is truly a beautiful person a wonderful role model and just the most fantastic spirited person I know. Why I had not just told her how I felt at the start I just dont know, because we talk about everything, maybe its the depression and anxiety of it all, I dont know.
I called her in tears and told her I need her to come over, she was here within half an hour, we spent the day crying she more than me, I was kinda cried out, she had never seen me cry since I was probably ten years old, that is probably a sadness in itself.
She did everything for me in those early days, took me to my Doctors a Doctors I had not been to in 10 years, it had been that long that when we booked the appointment I was informed my Doctor died 4 years ago. Anyway I was put under a mental health program and prescribed Anti-depressants and also some sleeping tablets(these killed me my spirit and thoughts were numbed). my sister has been my Angel my saviour, there is no doubt in my mind I would be dead now if it was not for my sister, thinks are still bad, very bad at times, but I see my sister every day she comes around cooks,talks does coffee and is constantly on the phone(sometimes this does my head in) but I understand that she is scared that I may harm myself,she has come to the doctors and psychiatrist with my giving me huge support and a hand to hold that I needed, I cant tell you in words how special she is to me, I am not actually suicidal at the moment although I still think if I got a terminal illness this would be ideal, mad I know but I am being honest, I have huge debts and on sick benefit but this is not enough to live on or enough to pay debts. I actually owe £50,000 and I know this will never be paid so I will lose my home and everything else that goes with bankruptcy, but I will always have my sister their supporting me, she has helped me financially for three months but I dont want this to continue its wrong.
Well now to my BEG, well I dont want money for my debts I understand they are way too much to ever believe I can pay them back, no the reason I want help is because later this year my sister is 50 yes the big Five O and for the last three years she has been kinda planning what she will do and where she will go, she has decided that she wants to rent a Villa in Spain and have all her friends & family come for one week, when we discussed this last year obviuosly I was always included in this week, but I do not want her paying for me its Her birthday after all, I will not be able to pay my own way and I will not be working in the next few months as I am soon to under go councilling, the truth is I dont really want to go as I am actually feeling stressed about it all, hoping it goes away, but at the same time I understand how much it means to her to have me there, I know she wont take no for an answer and will want to pay for me.
All I ask is that if anyone on here could donate so I can at least pay some part in some way to my own way.She is not going until August or September and I think it will cost around £300 as a guess maybe slightly more.
If just a little from a lot of people then I can make some head way, or if you just want to mail me if you have similar problems as I have learned that talking problems through does help.
I know its a long beg but I want you to know the background.
Thanks for reading and hopefully you can help in some small way.

September 2011: Had a nearly fatal motorcycle accident on Lucent Blvd. in Denver. The events leading up to the accident I am unclear of, all I remember is waking up underneith a car and couldnt move. I remember the ambulance showing up to extricate me. Apparently I had a shattered pelvis and a broken humorus. I also sustained another concussion. I never was a big fan of the helmet, in fact very rarely did I wear one. I just happened by chance to decide to wear one that day, if I hadnt I'd be dead. It used to be that I struggled to survive, now I struggle to exist. This account is by my wife:

On September 28th, 2011
My husband Trevan had an accident on is his way to an Interview and he was going on Lucent to get on to the highway on C470 and was not able to see with the dew on the street and sun glare. He didn’t see the car at the stoplights, going on to C470. Didn’t know or see that it was stopped at the light. The sun was so bad that he slammed right into the person in front of him and went over the handlebars of the motorcycle and over the person’s car and was found underneath the car. The Paramedics found him under the person’s car and had to pull him out from under it.

I got a call about 8:15 am from the fire department letting me know that my husband was in an accident. I was so scared I was trying to get my son ready for school and get my daughter ready to so I could take him. I was told that he was taken to Littleton Hospital and that I can call over there and get info on how he is doing. Instead of me calling the ER the ER nurse called me and gave me some info about what they are doing and what ER room they are taking him to. They took some x-rays and he couldn’t be moved because they were not sure about his back. So they did the x-rays in the ER. That is what the nurse told me that they were doing and that he was stable. The nurse also said if I could get to the hospital as soon as I could, it would be a good idea to come since the police and fire department was still there. I told her I would try. I called my mother in law to let her that her son was in an accident and I called my mom. There were other people that I called too. When I got there and I had to park so far in the back of the hospital that I had to ask for directions to get to the ER from the outpatient so I could be there with my husband. When I got there it was very hard to see what he looked like. He had a neck brace on and his left arm was all wrapped up like a present. He had a big gash on the inside of his right leg that was pretty wide and you could see the fat and it kept on bleeding. They would not take off the brace from his neck because they didn’t know what else was going on with him. I met the ER doctors and they told me that he is in quite bit of pain, and that he was starting to not know what happened off and on. I tried to see if he could tell me himself but could not remember. One of the ER doctors was very concerned about the blood in his urine so they took him to another place in the hospital to do some more tests on him. My mom in the mean time called me and told me that she was on her way to be at the hospital with me for support, I told her that I really need some comfort and to keep it together. When she got here Trevan was not yet taken to get tested yet so my mom said hi to him and ask him questions. Then with the ER nurses came in to take him for the tests my mom ask the nurse what kind of test that they were going to do on him and they said it is to check for internal bleeding. When Trevan was taken back we went to sit in the waiting room in the ER. My mom kept asking me questions but I could not answer any of them, because I have not been told about any thing besides what the nurse told me on the phone before I got there. I ask the nurses that were still around they’re about where his belonging were because I needed to know if his wallet and other things like ring and glasses was there. They handed me the beg that had his wallet and other things that they took off of him. I took the beg with me so I could go through it and see if every thing was still with him. His wedding band was in there his wallet was in there and socks and helmet was there too so I took it with me out to the waiting room. There was also a ticket that the police left in it too. My mom took a look at it to find out what all happened. It just said it was his fault but we didn’t think it was his fault, but later on we did fine out it was his fault but we took care of it for him while he was in the hospital. While we were waiting Trevan’s mom came with my daughter to see him but he was still not back in the Trauma room. After a while they finally moved him to a room so we all went there. They took him to the ICU and we had to keep our hands clean at all times coming and going. Trevan was put on many powerful pain medicines for the pain. He was put on dilaudid and he was on that for a while but then he was inching so bad that they took him off of that and put him on morphine he was a little better but still was itching like crazy.

Doug and Jan drove out here on Wednesday night they didn’t stop except for brakes and gas but they drove all the way through so could see Trevan. They arrived at the hospital at 3:30 am. Trevan didn’t remember that his dad and step mom came to see him the first night. I told him twice that they were here and he just didn’t remember it. Every one came to see Trevan everyday Doug and J, Karen and John Hager, Kehli, his mom Beverly. Doug and Jan were here for four days and they were here also for the surgery. We had a lot of people in the waiting room Beverly and our kids, me, and Doug and Jan. I was happy that I had that many people there with me because I was very upset.

October 1st 2011
Trevan had his surgery on both the pelvis and the humerus bone. The doctor started with his pelvis first he said it was the quick one and that Trevan didn’t loose much blood with that one. Then the doctor moved Trevan to another table to do the other part of the surgery. He lost a little bit of blood when they did his surgery on the arm they had to give him two pints of blood. The doctor did come out to tell us the update as he did them and how everything was going. He showed us before and after x-rays. The doctor did a great job of fixing Trevan up. Then after the surgery was done he was in recovery room for about an hour and a half. They moved Trevan to his room afterwards and he still was not doing hot. He kept saying that the room was moving and it made him sick. He tried to keep his eyes closed but it made him even feel worse. He also kept asking for ice chips which I feed to him as much as I could. He was better by the evening, he didn’t feel dizzy any more. Family kept coming to see him and tell him that they love him and pray that he will heal quickly. I stayed with him every night after the surgery to keep an eye on how he was doing. He didn’t remember a lot of things, which in some ways it is good but in some ways it is bad. I think a lot of it had to do with the pain medicine that the doctors was giving him. A nurse told me that it could happen with the medicine could make you forgetful depending on what kind of pain medicine.

October 4th 2011
While Trevan was at the hospital he did fall. He hit his head agents the closet that was in his room. The nurses found him on the floor. They did say that when he fell he landed on his right side and that they don’t think he hurt him self, but he did hit his head when he went down. I asked them if they were going to see if he did any damage, and they said that he didn’t and couldn’t do that much damage because the way he fell. I asked them if he hurt any thing else and the nurse they checked him over and asked him questions and didn’t see any evidence that he had any more damage to what he already had. I asked to if they did any test to see. They said they didn’t do any other tests on him because they didn’t want him to be exposed to any more radiation from the x-ray machine. He was getting out of bed by his self with out any help, which he was not supposed to do that. That is why when he fell they put a bed alarm on his bed so they would know at all times that he gets up, for his safety.

October 5th 2011
During that time while he was a Littleton hospital they were trying to find a rehab place for him so he can start getting back on his feet. They did find one and they had him transferred from Littleton to Porter hospital. Before he left I told him that I would see him later that evening and so will his mom and kids. He said ok and they he was gone. That evening Beverly and the rest of us call daddy from his mom’s phone to let him know that we are coming to see him but we were going to stop and get something to eat on the way up to the hospital. Then while we were eating at Wendy’s he calls me on my cell phone and asks if we were still coming I told him yes. I asked him did you even remember that we called you before and told you that we were coming he said no he didn’t remember. While he was on the phone with me still we asked him if he wanted us to bring something for him. He said yes. We brought him a hamburger and a frosty. When we got to the Porter hospital and got to his room we noticed it was very small and odd shaped. He had a window but in the wrong place or the room was just in the worst place. It looked like a bad shaped L and had no flow to it. I asked Trevan on how he was doing and he said tired and in pain. I said you just been through a lot and it will take a while to heal. Then we gave him is food and let him eat while we also talked to the nurses that were taking care of him there. We also ask that if there was a way for a cot to be put in there so I could stay with him some of the times. They said yes that they will get one in the room the next time I come up to see him. I said thanks. They also had a bed alarm on his bed and his wheel chair that he was using. I am happy that they had that on there but the moment that he got up to use the urinal that the alarm went off. And he didn’t feel comfortable with them always coming in and him not able to potty when he wanted too. When he is in the bed but keep it on when he is in the wheel chair because he could not remember to lock his brakes before he transferred form the wheel >chair to bed or just getting up to stand.

October 6th 2011
Trevan calls him mom to get my number to be able to call me. He talked to her for a while and he also asked if we were coming to see him, and also asked if we knew where he was. His mom said yes she knew and asked him if he remembered that we were the other night. He said no and also said that we weren’t there to see him. Which we were there but he just didn’t remember that we were all there his son and daughter me and his mom. He forgot the entire evening and event that we even were there to see him the night before. His mom said to him that we were all coming to see you again tonight so we will see you later. The same day I went to take our van to get the oil changed in it and found out that there was a clucking sound and they told me that it was not safe for me to keep driving it. They said about a week or two would be all I should drive it. I called my dad and asked if he knew any one that I could take my van to get an idea on how much it would cast to get it fixed. This was all the same day that I was going to see Trevan at the hospital. They didn’t want me to drive it anymore until it was fixed. So Beverly had to take me back and forth to and from the hospital for a while. After Beverly got off work we all got in to the car and drove up to the hospital. We asked the nurses if there was any way for Trevan to watch movies other than watching TV all the time. They said yes and told us there is a TV, VCR that is on a cart that can go into their room to watch movies and only VHS tapes only no DVD’S. So mom went into the lunchroom and looked at all the movies and wrote down all the ones that Trevan would be interested in watching. After she was done she brought the list to Trevan to see and to know that he had choices. Then we went home and told Trevan that we will see him later the next day. Then said our good-byes.

October 7th 2011
There was a lot of thing going on this day that I don’t want to go through again. I had to take my van to a place that my sister in law told me about. I made my appointment with them the day before and they wanted me to bring it back today and get it fixed. They even said that it was not safe at all. I left it with them to fix it in the morning. Then I came back home and had more things to do. I had to run around back and forth using my mother in laws car which was ok she was taking care of my daughter and my niece so I got thing done and I was able to relax a little bit. We all went to see Trevan that evening. We had to go and pick up my van after we picked up dinner. Then we left to see Trevan. When we got there into Trevan’s room he looked really tired and in a bit of pain. We got an extra hamburger so we gave it to him so he could eat it. Of course he at it all up. I changed the channel and found shreck the movie and we all watched that with Trevan. The nurse cam in to see how he was doing. He said that he needed more pain medicine, also needed to have his depends changed. The kids and grandma left outside the room while he was getting changed. After he got settled again the kids came back in and they were getting rowdy so I ask Beverly to take the kids home. They gave their daddy a kiss and left. That night I stayed with him and he kept on asking if the nurse had given him his pain medicine. I told him yes that they did give you your medicine. I asked him if even remembered it and he said no. He asked me 4 other times to while I was there. When it was time for him to have another dose of medicine I said to use the call button that is what it is there for instead of me always running in and out of his room to let the nurses know that he needed more medicine. I stayed with him all night it was very hard for me to hear. When Trevan would fall to sleep he would start dreaming and breathing heavy then wake up crying and then fell back to sleep. It would go on about 5 times at night. I think it was nightmares and when he wakes up he would not remember any of it.

October 8th 2011
The nurses were coming into see how Trevan was doing. He had his breakfast and pain medicine. After breakfast the therapist came in to take him to do some therapy stuff. He worked on the ramp with wheel chair going up and down with keeping control with his feet. The first round was 35 minutes. Then comes back and rests for a half-hour and goes again for 30 minutes. Then he came back and rested and had lunch. Then he went with another therapist and goes and has a shower, but after a while he came back. The nurses told me when they came back with Trevan that the cut on the inside of the right leg came open while they were helping him with his shower. He lost a little bit of blood but it hurt him quite a bit. So two nurses came back. One was pushing him and the other on putting pressure on the wound. When he was back in the room he looked like a ghost, and looked very tired. Then his nurse came in to put a different kind of bandage on his leg. By the end of the day he had color back in his face and was doing better. That day and evening he didn’t know that I was staying with him. I was with him at the hospital since Friday night, to Sunday evening. I will be going home on Sunday night.

October 9th 2011
The nurses and doctors decided not to have therapy because Trevan gave them a scare. So they just let him rest and let the wound heal some more before he did any more. I watched him sleep and he has the bad dreams again all day, and all night. I woke up every time he had the dreams. I counted how many times he would wake up and go to sleep again. It was hard to hear too. When he did wake up I would ask if he remembered any of it. He would say No. I did let the nurses know what was going on with Trevan and also asked him to keep an eye out and check on him. I also asked them to keep a record of it too. I left the evening so I could take care of my kids the next day. My mother in law had to work and had to keep Sarah with me. I said my good-byes. I asked the nurses to keep me in formed on how he did through the night.

October 10th 2011
Trevan told me that he had therapy and that he was in some pain. He was up in the wheel chair and bed. He was learning how to put socks and underwear, shorts and shirt on by him self with out help and doing it all by with one hand. He did OK is what he said. It is hard for him to remember which arm to do in first. The nurses said try to remember left first than over the head than right arm. Then put your glasses on so you can see. He said he would try to remember. Then I went home. He also saw the doctor and asked for Ibuprofen.

October 11th 2011
I got to the hospital to see Trevan about 7ish. He looked tire but also happy to see me. He said to me when I can in “I was wondering when you were going to be here” I said I had to take care of the kids first. In the morning he did therapy then he has lunch and after he had lunch he did some more activities he had u ride outside and played scrabble to get his mind working on thinking. That is what he did during the day when I was not there to see him during the day Trevan had therapy and looked somewhat tired when I got there, he was also in his wheel chair. He ate all the tacos that his mom got for him. After we got done eating he was in a lot of pain. He asked for more pain medicine and he could not get any more ibuprofen. So they gave him percocet for the pain. All we did while I was there with him we talked and watched TV together. Was late when I left to go home and care for my kids.

October 12th 2011
I went to see Trevan about 7ish again. He did a lot of thing in the morning it was all written down so I knew what he did. Which he was to do every day for his memory issues that he has. He had breakfast then he had PT. He did exercises with his legs. ST. tested him it scored 20 out of 25 on the cognitive tests. Then he did some transferring using one leg, 2-½ lbs. on the other leg (right leg all weight and partial weight on the left.) After lunch he did the walker, wheel chair, shower, teeth and hair. All of this info that I keep getting is what he writes down for his memory reminder. I took a look at him and asked him how he is doing, He said he is in a bit of pain. A lot of pain was mainly in the arm. He asked for some pain medicine and he started to fall to sleep. So I told him that I would head home and take care of the kids. He said to tell them that he loves them. I said ok.

October 13th 2011
Just reading his report that he wrote. He did getting in to his wheel chair to go to the toilet, Independence Square and weight. That was his activities during the day and he also had another stitch pop and his leg started bleeding again. That is what he told me. It is covered with gaze. I was happy that they did put that on there to protect it better. He has been sleeping better. They aren’t using the walker with the plate form because of his bad left arm. He is balancing so much better on his right leg which I am very proud of him. I noticed while I was there he didn’t remember that he had his pain medicine which they did give it to him. But they could not give him any more until 9:15 PM. And it was about 8:20 PM when he asked for more pain medicine.

October 14th 2011
Trevan woke up around 5:45 am having pain in his arm and needed to be changed. Found out that Dr. Bess has not released him from putting more weight on his left leg. It will be 30% weight for a while. At a little bit after 9 this morning went for a wheel chair walk. He sat in the wheel chair and used his right foot to move him forward and his right hand also help him to move forward in the direction that he needs to go. He went around the hallway twice. Then after he did that he came back to his room, so after that another person came in and took him down to the shower. Both of us were in the shower room with the nurse getting him ready and helping him stand only on one leg. He could not put much weight on the left leg. After every thing was off the therapist helped him sit on the shower/ tub chair. We both helped him get cleaned up, but we made sure he did most of the cleaning up. He did well at listening to me and stayed seated until we needed him to stand to pull up his pants. He only used his right leg to stand on and his right arm to pull up. I told him if he comes home he is going to have to listen and wait until I can come and help him. I didn’t want him to fall again and end up in the hospital again. After the shower we went back to his room to rest for a few minutes. Then he went to do more moving therapy. He did hopping on the right leg and using the parallel bars with the right arm to and from the wheel chair. Then he did some bumping up and down on the stairs. They would not do any more of them for a while because it tired him out so much. We did not know when he would be able to come home yet. We were going to have someone come by to take a look at the house and see if he can come home. Right now it is set for wed. But it is not set in stone. I am planning to stay the night again and leave about 8:15 am to watch my daughter. Then I will be back to stay with him again that evening.

October 15th 2011
This is what Trevan did for the day, leg/ hip exercises, control wheelchair up and down ramp. ST- did memory strategies, put a picture with info, and writing down notes. OT- watched him do his brushing his teeth, getting dressed, independence square (cashier, shop, and sandwich) memory. That is what he did and also found out he has a urine infection. He slept a little bit, was up having to go to the potty all night, had to remind him mot to put any weight on his left leg. He said that he was not but I doubt it. I was watching him. After he was done he was always putting weight on the left leg every time he pushed his butt back in the bed. I am very worried about that. I did tell the nurses to keep an eye on him that he was having issues with him having to pee all the time. Since he had the infection. They said that they would keep watch and see how he does through the night.

October 16th 2011
Trevan had a bad day at remembering this day. I just don’t remember what he forgot because I was also very tired this day also.

October 17th 2011
We brought Trevan home to do the home inspection so we could find out what we all needed to do and what to get for the house, so Trevan can come home. We didn’t want him to get injured any more than what he is now. When we got to the house the two nurses had to lift him and the wheel chair up the stairs since we didn’t have the ramp up quite yet. We did tell them it would be up once we know what day we could get help. While Trevan was still sitting in the wheel chair he had to use the restroom. He did try to get in the restroom which he did do just fine, but when he was ready to get back out and into the wheel chair he almost fell in to the wheel. So they deiced not to have him use the small bathroom.

Ive had AIDS for 6 years and HIV for 16. I had HIV for 16 years, did some stupid stuff in the 90s and caught it through hetero sex. It was my fault but I did do alot of good, I worked as an electrician for 13 years and a US Marine for 6. I am also a dad who hasnt flown the coop. I worked for 28 years and had to stop because I caught menegitis and almost died. This was from having AIDS. Ive done the best I could but its overwhelming. I my lost my home, my career and my self esteem due to this. I doubt anyone will donate because times are hard and the only people who see this site are probly people in need but I guess I might as well. I do paintings to help my cognitive skills and all I really want is someone to look at my paintings or donate a dollar or two. Thanx for looking Dave My paintings are at http://www.etsy.com/shop/DavesRecoveryArtwork

I am a 49 year old college student who is in desperate need help. I raised two wonderful children who are now grown,sucessful, and on their own. My life changed 8 years ago when my daughter now 20 got sick from toxic mold that was in our apartment. I gave up my job to take care of her and now that she is on her own, not far short of a miracle,I have hit the bottom of the barrel. I am an honor student at KCKCC and will recieve my AA in May of 2012. I have been served with eviction papers and my 92 Honda Accord is on its last mile,315,000,miles later I doubt it will make it through the winter. I work at school part time,all that is allowed, and my dad helps me when he can. He is 79 years old and lives on a fixed income in California. When my daughter left home in May I no longer could afford the rent and bills on our place to live and am now 5 months behind and Wednesday is my court date for the eviction. My gas and electric are in danger of getting cut off and it really doesnt matter since I have no where to live. I have promised my dad that I will finish school no matter what and quite honestly I dont know if that will happen. I had to take a payday loan and title loan on my car so that I could pay my rent in July that all back fired and I now am overdrawn in my bank account as well and hiding my car from the repo guy. I have borrowed money from 4 different people and now they are all over me for repayment. When I quit my job 8 years ago to take care of my daughter because that is what a mother does my credit was ruined. The pieces just keep falling and at times I cant see the end of the tunnel. Just one chance to get out of this mess financially and have a decent place to live and a decent car that runs would make life a whole lot easier. My dad could enjoy his retirement and I could fulfill my promise to him. My daughter has 400.00 worth of medicine she has to have monthly and I help her before I pay my own bills because I feel that's what I should do. I have no medical or dental insurance and have several things wrong with several teeth. I havent had my blood pressure medicine in one year and it would be nice to be able to make sure I am physically well. Please help please help please help.

PLEASE HELP ME, I KNOW I AM BEING POISONED. I have a very strong reason to believe I am being poisoned by the tenants or staff I the government owned apartment building I'm living in, based on the behavior of the building staff and tenants as well as the severe fatigue and decline I feel during and after every shower I take, cup of the tap I drink, or food I eat from preparation in my kitchen using the water. I need $750 to have the samples I have already collected on video, confirmed by a lab giving me an substance identification, I then can begin taking the appropriate legal action being that I can already prove beyond a reasonable doubt with videos I already have posted on youtube. Any amount you can spare, even if it's just a penny will eventually make a world of difference. The only thing that has delayed me getting justice on this matter for this long is my lack of funding. My paypal.com account email is: ernestbolds@netscape.net if you do not see the paypal donate button below. PLEASE Help me teach these cowards a lesson that will inspire others to seek justice for themselves.

HERE IS ONE OF THE THIRTY VIDEOS I MADE OF ME RECORDING THE BELIEVE TOXIC FLOWING FROM BY FAUCET AND COLLECTING IT IN A VIAL MADE ON JANUARY 22, 2011: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Scekt7p1ZRo