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Devastating Accident almost done us in anything would help

Posted by Livingonfaith on 2012-01-24 04:58:45

In July 2007 my husband was a passenger in a co-workers car; the co-worker turned left in front of a pickup and the car was T-boned directly on his side. The co-workers car was an older model with no airbags; the doctor said that if he hadn’t put his arm & hand up to shield his face than it would have been fatal. The subsequent and enduring “care” he has received via workers compensation (WC), for the grave injuries he sustained, has been appalling at best. This is just my personal opinion, based solely on our experiences since the accident, but I have concluded that workers compensation (that was put in place to protect the workers), is nothing less than an unethical, disingenuous corrupt system. They end up sending you to a doctor of there choosing and these doctors (who have "gone over to the dark side")cater to the insurance companies by writing lengthy reports downplaying any injuries (goal of saving insurance company money with zero regard for the patients well being) in exchange for more patients sent to them and guaranteed, probably higher than usual, reimbursements. All too often it seems like WC caters to those who abuse the system and discriminate against those who really are in need. The “timely” medical care my husband has actually been able to procure through this government supported system is a travesty leaving him with irreparable spinal damage and a life of pain to look forward to. The malevolent truth is, had this system acted in a timely fashion, equivalent to the expedient care that ANYONE else not on WC would receive, then something could have been done to improve his quality of life. Unfortunately, as it stands, due to the guileful delay tactics used by WC, it is too late to do much of anything to repair the injuries causing him pain. Clearly supported medically necessary needs have either gone unapproved or purposely neglected for months all the while he continues to suffer with intractable pain. It is just beyond my comprehension as to how these people can feel no remorse for leaving another human being in such agony. Due to WC neglecting to approve certain items we have had to outlay a significant amount of our funds for medically necessary items\services to help him do tasks that he could previously do unassisted.
Today he suffers unrelenting pain as a result of permanent whiplash, 8 herniated discs, and unacknowledged(despite films clearly showing injuries) unaddressed broken tailbone, ribs and pelvis. Nerve damage from the spinal injury has resulted in numbness in his extremities, frequent weakening of his legs and embarrassing incontinence among numerous other concerns - had these been addressed in a timely manner (much like they would have been if not WC injury) his suffering could have been decreased significantly thereby improving his quality of life. The most serious injury he suffered was the hip break (acetabuler break) the worse break possible - it was broken in four places. As alluded to previously, an injury this severe should have been stabilized by surgery - allowing it to heal properly and not leave him suffering in chronic pain. WC puts such demands on providers to cut corners in order to save money that, in my husbands case, his doctor decided to do absolutely nothing but send him home instructing him to stay in a wheelchair 100 % of the time for several months. This doctor did not follow up with an exam or x-rays to make sure everything had healed properly. When my husband tried to explain to him the degree of pain he was still in the Dr said hmmm that shouldn’t be and then said “I can’t do anything else for you…”. This Dr. was so engrossed with saving WC some money that he disregarded his patients plea for help- how dispassionate and cold. The way this physician treated my husband goes against almost every part of the hippocratic oath which he swore to uphold upon graduation.
After being in pain for years, with no help from WC when it came to pinpointing its primary source, we paid out of pocket for a film that revealed his pelvis had been broken in the accident. This was never discovered previously by the orthopedist, again, due to cutting corners to save WC money they didn't take the necessary films to do a thorough job. We have a hearing with WC before a judge in March to request approval of a doctor who can address his broken tailbone - regardless of the fact that he can hardly sit without being in excruciating pain WC has denied him access to a doctor to treat it.
Immediately after the accident WC paid for home care for my husband and I was his caretaker when they were not here. Once they stopped providing this in home care I had to take over caring for him in addition to taking care of our then one year old daughter. I soon realized that I could not work and take care of both of them so I had to leave my job to stay home. As a result of my loss of income we have used up every penny of savings and 401 K, that we worked so hard to earn. We had to purchase anything medically necessary for Randall that WC was denying or losing track of. In addition to all this bad news, he has had to go out on disability (10/10) due to the deterioration of his condition and as a result our income has been cut substantially. This leaves us struggling to survive with no savings and significant decrease in income. I am the primary caregiver of both my husband and 5 year old daughter and all I able to contribute financially is what I can find the time to sell on eBay and needless to say we are coming up short.
All of our credit cards have been turned over to collections and our house note is in default and I am terrified. My heart breaks for my only child my daughter who is just 5 years old - I want her to remember more than this devastating situation about her dad and what undeserved hard times we are facing. You can ask anyone who knows my husband and they will all say the same that he is one of the kindest, caring, and conscientious people they know. I know that he doesn’t deserve the heartache he is having to endure. He has worked hard his entire life, since the age of 15, up until he could no longer because of his injuries; and I know that prior to this accident he had saved and saved and was looking so forward to retiring and having fun times as a family. He hasn’t lost sight of those dreams but the money he had saved to fund them is all gone. Despite everything somehow he still maintains a positive outlook on life which makes him a much stronger person than I.
We all have faith that God will see us through this one way or the other but some days it is just so hard to maintain a positive outlook. We would be truly grateful for any help - do only as your heart leads you to do!
God Bless

An American reject

Posted by NoWayOut on 2011-12-16 09:58:36

An American reject
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing because I have found an injustice that it seems no one else has noticed. I know that I am only one person, but they say one voice CAN make a difference.

I know many people who have made their share of mistakes  we all have sinned no one is perfect. Some just get caught up, can't afford a lawyer and   And want to confess, hoping there would be some type of leniency.  Considering they were young and didn't realize this would affect them the rest of their life. and i have tried to correct each mistake i  have made. The question I pose is how long is a person supposed to pay for those mistakes? Everyday I see people who are doing there best to clean up there life and get a job; but because they are felons/ or have a heinous misdemeanor as society feels that is a liability.  they are turned away from having a better life. That not only affects them and their families but it also affects society. If a man or woman is trying to lead an honest life and jobs are turning those individuals away what’s left? Go back to “the block”? If they get back in the streets they take the risk of losing there *freedom* but if they keep being turned away from jobs because of their past they risk losing there homes and families too. So what is a person to do after all we make mistakes.  Some are just smarter, or maybe they just know how to hold a lie like Casey anthony. But how is it fair for an employer to turn me away for being honest about my past. After all it was 13 years ago and did I ever really know how hard of a punishment and debt that I would half to pay to society as well to my unthought of family at the time.  My decision as a child is affecting my now 10 year old.  I made a mistake i feel like I would of been better off stoned to death I'n the center of the city.  Than to go on continue getting turned down left and right I don't know how long I can go on like this.  Where is the justice for me? Do I no longer have rights.  Am I considered a worthless piece of trash now that I have a conviction a black cloud holding over my head? From 13 years ago I was 18!!  How fair is that for my family NOW! Something needs to be done.  Justice for all!!! These employers shouldn't have the right to go as far back and discriminate. There should be a 7 year law.  After all there is a clean sleight after bankruptcy.  There able to wipe their debt clean as if they owed nothing.  Why can't we. Why is there some type of stigma.  For people that have been convicted and have never gotten convicted again.  That's showing you were trying to live as productive as we can I'n society.  But trying is the key word here because I feel I can't even get a chance!  

Despite what people may think, individuals who have records also have families they have to care for. Once a person has paid there debt to society for there crime and is making noticeable effort to clean up and live right they should have the opportunity to do just that, not be sentenced to a life of crime because there is no other way to survive. I’m sorry but McDonalds and Burger King just isn’t going to cut it with a 30 year old man or woman with 3 kids. This is supposed to be America, the land of opportunity and justice for all, but where is the justice for these people?

I feel very strongly about this and I would love to see justice made true. I plan to write every address and person I can find. I plan to be that one voice that is letting as many people know that this is wrong and unfair according to plain ethics and the so called American Dream.

I truly hope this reaches out to you and I hear back from you soon. I don’t know if a 32 year old female who is living a life like the one I explained above is going to make a difference but I can say at least I am trying make a difference.

It's verry hard for me. I can't find work. I have no health insurance. And recently I need work done on my mouth that I can't afford to pay for. I don't know where to turn. I can't afford a Christmas for my daughter. And if unemployment dint get passed for 2012 were screwed. There's been days of me going without to bed hungry so my daugter can eat. Sometimes I think of ending my life cuz I'm some useless pice of crap that can't make it I'n this word. But my daughter gives me strength and with god I know all this are possible. I won't give up, I'll keep fighting. It's just so hard. Abd it doesn't get any Easyer I'n this small town. If you know of anything that can help me and my child please feel free to call. 484-560-0090. Something's gotta give there's gotta be a way out... -Ceecee

Please remember Gods loves everyone and gave his life for EVERYONE to live even convicted misdemeanors.

Yours truly an American reject

Help the Emaciated STRAY ANIMALS be fed and off the Streets!

Posted by Missy on 2011-09-20 11:58:01

We run a a small but effective, private not-for-profit animal rescue run by a team of volunteers dedicated to saving stray animals abandoned on the streets and finding them a new forever loving home- which they so greatly deserve.

Our mission is to rescue, rehabilitate and re-home the abandoned, abused and unwanted animals who unfortunately, through no fault of their own, live on the streets. We also help by promoting responsible pet ownership; the importance of spay & neuter, a good diet and plenty of exercise.

We do not discriminate against size, breed, age, gender, species or health condition- as we believe every animal deserves a second chance.

Unfortunately, 86% of the strays we've helped save are emaciated- they require vet care (which is very costly), special high quality diet, vitamins and supplements to boost their immune system, and so much more!

All volunteers are unpaid and contribute their own money to our rescue's operation. Since we fund all of our expenses ourselves we often require donations from the public to help us out. As always, 100% of the donations go towards the benefit of the animals in our care.

We gladly accept all new, gently used, canine, and feline supplies, as well as monetary donations- which can be sent by PayPal.

Help the Emaciated STRAY ANIMALS be fed and off the Streets!

Posted by Missy on 2011-09-20 11:58:01

We run a a small but effective, private not-for-profit animal rescue run by a team of volunteers dedicated to saving stray animals abandoned on the streets and finding them a new forever loving home- which they so greatly deserve.

Our mission is to rescue, rehabilitate and re-home the abandoned, abused and unwanted animals who unfortunately, through no fault of their own, live on the streets. We also help by promoting responsible pet ownership; the importance of spay & neuter, a good diet and plenty of exercise.

We do not discriminate against size, breed, age, gender, species or health condition- as we believe every animal deserves a second chance.

Unfortunately, 86% of the strays we've helped save are emaciated- they require vet care (which is very costly), special high quality diet, vitamins and supplements to boost their immune system, and so much more!

All volunteers are unpaid and contribute their own money to our rescue's operation. Since we fund all of our expenses ourselves we often require donations from the public to help us out. As always, 100% of the donations go towards the benefit of the animals in our care.

We gladly accept all new, gently used, canine, and feline supplies, as well as monetary donations- which can be sent by PayPal.

Help the Emaciated STRAY ANIMALS be fed and off the Streets!

Posted by Missy on 2011-09-20 10:58:56

We run a a small but effective, private not-for-profit animal rescue run by a team of volunteers dedicated to saving stray animals abandoned on the streets of Uruguay, South American and finding them a new forever loving home- which they so greatly deserve.

Our mission is to rescue, rehabilitate and re-home the abandoned, abused and unwanted animals who unfortunately, through no fault of their own, live on the streets. We also help by promoting responsible pet ownership; the importance of spay & neuter, a good diet and plenty of exercise.

Misfits Abroad does not discriminate against size, breed, age, gender, species or health condition- as we believe every animal deserves a second chance.

All volunteers are unpaid and contribute their own money to our rescue's operation. Since we fund all of our expenses ourselves we often require donations from the public to help us out. As always, 100% of the donations go towards the benefit of the animals in our care.

We gladly accept all new, gently used, canine, and feline supplies, as well as monetary donations- which can be sent by PayPal.

Help the Emaciated STRAY ANIMALS be fed and off the Streets!

Posted by Missy on 2011-09-20 10:58:06

We're a small but effective, private not-for-profit organization run by a team of volunteers dedicated to saving stray animals abandoned on the streets on and finding them a new forever loving home- which they so greatly deserve.

Our mission is to rescue, rehabilitate and re-home the abandoned, abused and unwanted animals who unfortunately, through no fault of their own, live on the streets. Our volunteers are also dedicated to promoting responsible pet ownership; the importance of spay & neuter, a good diet and plenty of exercise.

We do not discriminate against size, breed, age, gender, species or health condition- as we believe every animal deserves a second chance.

As always, 100% of the donations go towards the benefit of the animals in our care. All volunteers are unpaid and contribute their own money to our rescue's operation. Since we fund all of our expenses ourselves we often require donations from the public to help us out.

Remember, every penny collected will be put to good use!

Thanks

"Within the heart of every stray… lies the singular desire to be loved." ♥

Help the Emaciated STRAY ANIMALS fed and off the Streets!

Posted by Missy on 2011-09-20 10:58:03

We're a small but effective, private not-for-profit organization run by a team of volunteers dedicated to saving stray animals abandoned on the streets on and finding them a new forever loving home- which they so greatly deserve.

Our mission is to rescue, rehabilitate and re-home the abandoned, abused and unwanted animals who unfortunately, through no fault of their own, live on the streets. Our volunteers are also dedicated to promoting responsible pet ownership; the importance of spay & neuter, a good diet and plenty of exercise.

We do not discriminate against size, breed, age, gender, species or health condition- as we believe every animal deserves a second chance.

As always, 100% of the donations go towards the benefit of the animals in our care. All volunteers are unpaid and contribute their own money to our rescue's operation. Since we fund all of our expenses ourselves we often require donations from the public to help us out.

Remember, every penny collected will be put to good use!

Thanks

"Within the heart of every stray… lies the singular desire to be loved." ♥

Help the Emaciated STRAY ANIMALS off the Streets!

Posted by Missy on 2011-09-20 10:58:02

We're a small but effective, private not-for-profit organization run by a team of volunteers dedicated to saving stray animals abandoned on the streets on and finding them a new forever loving home- which they so greatly deserve.

Our mission is to rescue, rehabilitate and re-home the abandoned, abused and unwanted animals who unfortunately, through no fault of their own, live on the streets. Our volunteers are also dedicated to promoting responsible pet ownership; the importance of spay & neuter, a good diet and plenty of exercise.

We do not discriminate against size, breed, age, gender, species or health condition- as we believe every animal deserves a second chance.

As always, 100% of the donations go towards the benefit of the animals in our care. All volunteers are unpaid and contribute their own money to our rescue's operation. Since we fund all of our expenses ourselves we often require donations from the public to help us out.

Remember, every penny collected will be put to good use!

Thanks

"Within the heart of every stray… lies the singular desire to be loved." ♥

Help the Emaciated STRAY ANIMALS fed and off the Streets!

Posted by Missy on 2011-09-20 10:58:02

We're a small but effective, private not-for-profit organization run by a team of volunteers dedicated to saving stray animals abandoned on the streets on and finding them a new forever loving home- which they so greatly deserve.

Our mission is to rescue, rehabilitate and re-home the abandoned, abused and unwanted animals who unfortunately, through no fault of their own, live on the streets. Our volunteers are also dedicated to promoting responsible pet ownership; the importance of spay & neuter, a good diet and plenty of exercise.

We do not discriminate against size, breed, age, gender, species or health condition- as we believe every animal deserves a second chance.

As always, 100% of the donations go towards the benefit of the animals in our care. All volunteers are unpaid and contribute their own money to our rescue's operation. Since we fund all of our expenses ourselves we often require donations from the public to help us out.

Remember, every penny collected will be put to good use!

Thanks

"Within the heart of every stray… lies the singular desire to be loved." ♥

Help the Emaciated STRAY ANIMALS off the Streets!

Posted by Missy on 2011-09-20 10:58:00

We're a small but effective, private not-for-profit organization run by a team of volunteers dedicated to saving stray animals abandoned on the streets on and finding them a new forever loving home- which they so greatly deserve.

Our mission is to rescue, rehabilitate and re-home the abandoned, abused and unwanted animals who unfortunately, through no fault of their own, live on the streets. Our volunteers are also dedicated to promoting responsible pet ownership; the importance of spay & neuter, a good diet and plenty of exercise.

We do not discriminate against size, breed, age, gender, species or health condition- as we believe every animal deserves a second chance.

As always, 100% of the donations go towards the benefit of the animals in our care. All volunteers are unpaid and contribute their own money to our rescue's operation. Since we fund all of our expenses ourselves we often require donations from the public to help us out.

Remember, every penny collected will be put to good use!

Thanks

"Within the heart of every stray… lies the singular desire to be loved." ♥

Help the Emaciated STRAY ANIMALS off the Streets!

Posted by Missy on 2011-09-20 10:58:00

We're a small but effective, private not-for-profit organization run by a team of volunteers dedicated to saving stray animals abandoned on the streets on and finding them a new forever loving home- which they so greatly deserve.

Our mission is to rescue, rehabilitate and re-home the abandoned, abused and unwanted animals who unfortunately, through no fault of their own, live on the streets. Our volunteers are also dedicated to promoting responsible pet ownership; the importance of spay & neuter, a good diet and plenty of exercise.

We do not discriminate against size, breed, age, gender, species or health condition- as we believe every animal deserves a second chance.

As always, 100% of the donations go towards the benefit of the animals in our care. All volunteers are unpaid and contribute their own money to our rescue's operation. Since we fund all of our expenses ourselves we often require donations from the public to help us out.

Remember, every penny collected will be put to good use!

Thanks

"Within the heart of every stray… lies the singular desire to be loved." ♥

Please Help Me!

Posted by lindabaker on 2011-04-04 17:58:35

NW-COLUMBUS, OH

I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.

I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.

When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.

It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.

But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.

It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.

So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.

However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.

I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.

So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.

Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.

Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.

If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.

Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.

Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!

Sincerely,
Linda

Desperate to Escape Abusive Husband!

Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:19

NW-COLUMBUS, OH

I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.

I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.

When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.

It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.

But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.

It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.

So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.

However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.

I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.

So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.

Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.

Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.

If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.

Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.

Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!

Sincerely,
Jamie

Desperate to Escape Abusive Husband!

Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:17

NW-COLUMBUS, OH

I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.

I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.

When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.

It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.

But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.

It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.

So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.

However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.

I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.

So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.

Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.

Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.

If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.

Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.

Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!

Sincerely,
Jamie

Desperate to Escape Abusive Husband

Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:16

NW-COLUMBUS, OH

I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.

I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.

When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.

It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.

But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.

It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.

So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.

However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.

I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.

So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.

Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.

Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.

If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.

Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.

Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!

Sincerely,
Jamie

Desperate to get Away from Abusive Husband!

Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:13

NW-COLUMBUS, OH

I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.

I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.

When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.

It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.

But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.

It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.

So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.

However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.

I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.

So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.

Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.

Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.

If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.

Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.

Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!

Sincerely,
Jamie

Desperate to Get Away from my Abusive Husband

Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:10

NW-COLUMBUS, OH

I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.

I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.

When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.

It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.

But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.

It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.

So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.

However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.

I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.

So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.

Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.

Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.

If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.

Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.

Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!

Sincerely,
Jamie