Despair Tags

I am a single mother, my husband recently left me and I am 8 months pregnant. I am a full time nursing student and have a 6 year old daughter. I am struggling just to make ends meet and I cry myself to sleep everynight just worring about how I am going to put gas in the car to get my daughter to school, let alone get myself to classes. I have applied for jobs but no one will hire a pregnant woman and I am in so much despair. Anything even 1$ will help. Thank you

Because I believe in the power of prayer & the kindness of my fellow man, I've decided to swallow my pride & ask for help. This is not an action I am at all familiar with but am grasping at every straw to attempt to keep a roof over my family's head. We live in a modest house that we've called home for the past 20+ years.

I am a single mother who's been truly blessed with 4, beautiful, healthy children; 3 biological & a foster son that joined our family when he was 12…..he is now 23. My kids are the reason I continue to battle through what has been the most challenging, darkest phase of my 50 years on this Earth.

In the summer of 2011, life, as my family knew it, was forever changed. My son got off the school bus & proceeded to enter a crime scene upon opening the front door of the house we call home. It was immediately clear that we were victims of a daytime home invasion and robbery. A trail of splinters led straight to my bedroom door, which had been demolished in the process of gaining entrance & access to my personal belongings. Robbers took my box of trash bags & proceeded to fill them with anything that could be sold or traded. I came home to find that they had stolen everything of value that I had worked for in my 50 years of existence & everything of value that my kids cherished as well.

It didn't happen often, but on the occasion that I had a few extra dollars to spend on myself, I found pleasure in buying nice jewelry. Through the years, I had managed to accumulate a nice collection. Also, as a child, my father & I shared an interest in coin collecting. I had managed to hold on to several interesting coins my dad & I found. Weekly, he also, gave me & my brothers our allowance of a fifty cent piece each. I had somehow managed to hold on to many of these as well. I stored my coin collection in the bottom portion of my large armoire. This area is what my family referred to as "the safe." Anything of value, particularly sentimental, was given to me to be protected in the safe. A couple good examples are my, then, 10 year old son's game ball for hitting the Championship game winning grand slam home run & my daughter's horse riding medals, show jewelry & accessories, as well as a silver handled knife & sheath…….the only personal possession my foster son owned from his childhood. I carry a tremendous amount of guilt for not doing a better job of safe guarding my family's precious & dear possessions.

In addition to the lingering guilt, the robbery also resulted in life altering psychological effects to me & my family. I continue to wonder if & when I will ever fully recover & be the secure, self confident person I was before the robbery. Immediately following the break-in, I was consumed by finding out who was responsible & ways of obtaining this information…..I could think of nothing else. After several weeks of frantic guessing & running wild goose chases, I started to realize that regaining possession of my property was less likely as each day went by. I could feel myself falling into a dark, lonely place with deep despair…..& unfortunately, I was content to be there. For the next several months, I could not work, did not eat or sleep & rarely came out of my bedroom. There was a film in my head that ran & reran the events leading up to & immediately following the robbery…..filled with the "I should've"s, "I could've"s and "what ifs." I am plagued with distrust & no longer find interest in much of anything. I was robbed of far more than just pieces of property…..they stole my trust in mankind, my desire to thrive, my faith in the world & my sanity.

I have worked as a medical school curriculum manager for 21 years. As a result of my mental decline, I was unable to work for over three months which, consequentially, made it difficult to pay all of the bills. I managed to rob Peter to pay Paul for several months & kept up with everything except for my house payment. It is now in arrears nearly $5,000.00 & I am out of resources. For the first time in my life, I am facing foreclosure. It is embarrassing & humiliating & I don't know how to tell my kids that they are likely to have no place to call home in the very near future. I feel like such a failure! Even though I've been an exemplary employee for many years, as a consequence of the self doubting & tremendous stress, I am now faced with the strong potential of losing my job due to my inability to focus & my lack of desire to face each day, As if this wasn't enough for one person to handle, I am also witnessing the daily decline of my father & my hero due to end stage Parkinson's & Alzheimer's.

I'm not sure how this begging website works but if there is someone out there that is willing to make me a loan & work out a payment arrangement, I promise not to let you down.....you will be repaid! I am working hard to battle the persisting PTSD symptoms that continue to plague me. I just worry that facing homelessness may be more than I can handle. Lord, I hand it over to You coz I come to You a broken, wounded angel. I thank you for any consideration and appreciate all prayers. May God bless you many times & in many ways for your generosity & kindness!

Because I believe in the power of prayer & the kindness of my fellow man, I've decided to swallow my pride & ask for help. This is not an action I am at all familiar with but am grasping at every straw to attempt to keep a roof over my family's head. We live in a modest house that we've called home for the past 25 years.

I am a single mother who's been truly blessed with 4, beautiful, healthy children; 3 biological & a foster son that joined our family when he was 12…..he is now 23. My kids are the reason I continue to battle through what has been the most challenging, darkest phase of my 50 years on this Earth.

In the summer of 2011, life, as my family knew it, was forever changed. My son got off the school bus & proceeded to enter a crime scene upon opening the front door of the house we call home. It was immediately clear that we were victims of a daytime home invasion and robbery. A trail of splinters led straight to my bedroom door, which had been demolished in the process of gaining entrance & access to my personal belongings. Robbers took my box of trash bags & proceeded to fill them with anything that could be sold or traded. I came home to find that they had stolen everything of value that I had worked for in my 50 years of existence & everything of value that my kids cherished as well.

It didn't happen often, but on the occasion that I had a few extra dollars to spend on myself, I found pleasure in buying nice jewelry. Through the years, I had managed to accumulate a nice collection. Also, as a child, my father & I shared an interest in coin collecting. I had managed to hold on to several interesting coins my dad & I found. Weekly, he also, gave me & my brothers our allowance of a fifty cent piece each. I had somehow managed to hold on to many of these as well. I stored my coin collection in the bottom portion of my large armoire. This area is what my family referred to as "the safe." Anything of value, particularly sentimental, was given to me to be protected in the safe. A couple good examples are my, then, 10 year old son's game ball for hitting the Championship game winning grand slam home run & my daughter's horse riding medals, show jewelry & accessories, as well as a silver handled knife & sheath…….the only personal possession my foster son owned from his childhood. I carry a tremendous amount of guilt for not doing a better job of safe guarding my family's precious & dear possessions.

In addition to the lingering guilt, the robbery also resulted in other life altering psychological effects to me & my family. I continue to wonder if & when I will ever fully recover & be the secure, self confident person I was before the robbery. Immediately following the break-in, I was consumed by finding out who was responsible & ways of obtaining this information…..I could think of nothing else. After several weeks of frantic guessing & running wild goose chases, I started to realize that regaining possession of my property was less likely as each day went by. I could feel myself falling into a dark, lonely place accompanied by deep despair…..& unfortunately, I was content to be there. For the next several months, I could not work, did not eat or sleep & rarely came out of my bedroom. There was a film in my head that ran & reran the events leading up to & immediately following the robbery…..filled with the "I should've"s, "I could've"s and "what ifs." I am plagued with distrust & no longer find interest in much of anything. I was robbed of far more than just pieces of property…..they stole my trust in mankind, my desire to thrive, my faith in the world & my sanity.

I have worked as a medical school curriculum manager for 21 years. As a result of my mental decline, I was unable to work for over three months which, consequentially, made it difficult to pay all of the bills. I managed to rob Peter to pay Paul for several months & kept up with everything except for my house payment. It is now in arrears nearly $5,000.00 & I am out of resources. For the first time in my life, I am facing foreclosure. It is embarrassing & humiliating & I don't know how to tell my kids that they are likely to have no place to call home in the very near future. I feel like such a failure! Even though I've been an exemplary employee for many years, as a consequence of the self doubting & tremendous stress, I am now faced with the strong potential of losing my job due to my inability to focus & my lack of desire to face each day. As if this wasn't enough for one person to handle, I am also witnessing the daily decline of my father & my hero due to end stage Parkinson's & Alzheimer's.

I'm not sure how this begging website works but if there is someone out there that is willing to believe in me & offer me a loan & payment arrangements, I promise not to let you down.....you will be repaid! I am working hard to battle the persisting PTSD that continues to plague me. I just worry that facing homelessness may be more than I can handle. Lord, I hand it over to You coz I come to You a broken, wounded angel. I thank you for any consideration and appreciate all prayers. May God bless you many times & in many ways for your generosity & kindness!

Bi I am Patrick Phelps,I am sending out a very urgent plea, I really need to pay the school for the semester. I owe the school $3000 right now. I have had many different financial nightmares strike me this year and with only a part time job, I can barely afford to pay my bills. I am afraid I will have to drop out and not finish my degree if I do not get this taken care of. I do not know what I am going to do, this has left me at a point of despair to the point of loosing sleep and slight depression. If you can help that would be awesome, Either contact me, click on the donate button or send money to the school directly (with a note saying that this goes to the account of Patrick Phelps) The school address is:
Concordia University
Student Financial Office
800 N Columbia Ave
Seward, NE 68434
It does not have to be the full $3000, I will take whatever you can give. My email address is patrick.phelps@cune.org if you would like to contact me. Thank you and may God Bless you for your generosity!

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho men was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

My name is Meya Acuna and I am writing you in hopes that you can (or lead me to someone who can help) help bring a Christmas miracle to pass! I am really putting my faith out here because this is something that I've never done before, but am in desperate need. I am a 30 yr old stay-at-home mother to a 4 yr old and 22 month old and am 5 months pregnant. Having turned 30 I have had a revelation that I am in need of continuing my education to not only help my family financially but to be an inspiration to my children who will one day wonder why I did not live my dreams and get a degree in education.

Over 10 yrs ago I began on the right track attending TCU for a semester but with no funds saved up for college it was soon apparent that I would not be able to finish. Much to my despair, I left Ft. Worth and began living out of my hurt by getting into drugs, lascivious living and just keeping bad company. It wasn't until I met my husband, a PK (or preacher's kid), that I realized what I was missing and that I did have hope and didn't have to carry around the shame and anger at not being able to finish school. I stayed home and worked while he got to go out and travel the world in a Christian band, living his dream while I helped to support us and when he got off the road we decided to begin a family. Well no one told us how hard that would be especially financially and I soon left work to take care of my children because the cost of daycare was too much for us (almost 1200 for the two of them!). My husband lost his job earlier this year due to a bad truck accident that left him needing two surgeries and us on public assistance. But we moved to Seguin and he was able to start work at TPS thank God. It doesnt pay all our bills but we are so thankful! We also moved back here to begin work on a ministry with a focus on our youth. We are big volunteers at our church, always making ourselves available to what needs to be done for not only our families but our community. Most recently we've assisted with our youth at the Daddy/Daughter Dance sponsered by the SPD and the Blue Santa wrapping days. It has been hard on just one income and in the past 2 years we have moved 5 times with our children finally settling in Seguin. I am from Austin and had never lived in a real community of people before. I love it here! Everyone speaks to everyone and it is not so rushed. I'm in awe of how a community is supposed to be! Parades, Holiday Strolls, wow!

This past two weeks we have done things we have never had to do before like seek help from Community Council and Salvation Army for utility assistance and visit the EATS food pantry. I'm thankful they were there but I just never thought in a million years I'd be needing those types of services. This is also what pushed me to go back to school. I need to do something bigger than me to feel that I've accomplished a legacy for my children. I won't let them suffer worry and fear the way we have recently. But I need help.

I'm pleading with you to please help me pay $982.07 to Texas Christian University before January 1st for a Loan that I owe. If I pay this loan off by then I will be free to attend a university with Federal funds to attend classes and began pursuing my Associates Degree in Early Childhood and ultimately a Bachelors in Education. I plan on getting a teaching certification and giving back to the community that helped me by working in a low-income school here and sharing my story through hard work that people helping people can make a difference in someone's life. Again, I'm not asking you for money for me or my family or Christmas presents or any "thing". I am looking to pay directly to TCU in Ft. Worth. None of the funds would go to me. I trust that what we need as a family my God will supply, because He has kept us this long and it's only going to get better. Please be a part of this transition out of a dry place into abundance. I'm humbling myself today by doing this and I trust that if you can or know someone who can, you will help me. Thank you for your time and consideration and I look forward to sharing a good report!

JELLO, MY NAME IS LISA.. I AM A VERY QUALIFIED PERSON, I TYPE 75 WPM, HAVE OVER 10 YEARS AS EXECUTIVE SECRETARY, OVER 10 YEARS WORKING FOR CHAMBER OF COMMERCE IN MEMBERSHIP, LICENSED PSYCH TECH, PROFESSIONAL HOUSECLEANING, 8 YEARS APARTMENT MANAGER EXPERIENCE. BARTENDER, WAITRESS, HANDY WOMAN, COOK, CLEAN, COMPUTER SILLS, COLLECTIONS, REPOS, AND ORE AND MORE, CASH REGISTER, BANKTELLER, INVENTORY, SALES AND MORE... BUT NO MATTER HOW QUALIFIED I AM, I CANT GET A JOB, WITH A HORRIBLE DIVORCE AND IT RUINING MY CREDIT, MY LIFE, MY STANDING IN COMMUNITY, IT HAS BECOME IMPOSSIBLE TO GET WORKL...

IM DESPERATE... WE ARE BEING THROWN OUT OF HOUSE THAT MY ESTRANGED DIDN'T PAY ON FOR OVER 9 MONTHS AND I HAD NO IDEA...BILLS ARE OVER MY HEAD, CANT AFFORD GAS EVEN.

ANY JOB, DOING ANYTHING, SMALL BIG, INSIDE OUTSIDE, LONG TERM SHORT TERM ANY WAY THAT ANY ONE CAN HELP... PLEASE I WILL BE THE BEST EMPLOYEE YOU COULD HIRE... HARDWORKING, GRATEFUL, MOTIVATED, APPRECIATIVE. AND EATER.... ANY HELP WOULD HELP....
PLEASE...IM SCARED TO DEATH OF THE THOUGHT THAT WERE GOING TO BE SLEEPING IN A BATHROOM SOMEWHERE OR UNDER BRIDGE...
IF YOUR LOOKING FOR A CHANCE TO HELP SOMEONE WHO IS IN TOTAL DESPAIR, AND NEEDS AND WANTS YOUR HELP...WELL YOU FOUND US...

THIS IS VERY HARD, TO BE BEGGING FROM, PEOPLE YOU DONT EVEN KNOW, BUT I KNOW THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO UNDERSTAND, WHO WONT JUDGE, AND WHO WANT TO HELP... I PRAY THAT I FIND YOU... THANKS SO MUCH.

The rent is Overdue, I don't have a dime in my purse, 2 kids clinging to me for every ounce of want and need. No child support checks, no family to help, or who would care to help. Old credit card , medical bills, and other misc. charges that I've incurred over the past 10 years remain unpaid. Sought government assistance and they only give you enough to do one or the other, so it's either pay my bills or pay the rent. I no longer have a cell phone, besides the free govt phone they give you with 70 minutes a month on it. I have a car, but it needs work, hundreds of dollars of work. 35 years and I'm still striving for a destination spot. a place of rest, stability, and contentedness. Wondering when and how my load will lighten. Thinking about running away, then I look at my babies and know that they would find a way to keep me here with them, their smiles, playing, hugs, and the like. I often wonder how I ended up in this place of not knowing, confusion, heartache, toil, lack, despair, and think why me, then again, why not me? Is God trying to show/tell me something? What, I'm all ears, and eyes, you've got my attention, and have had it held there for about 5 years. Everything changed when my mom left us, everything changed when she passed. You must understand my mother was a paragon, well I guess every decent kid would say that about their mom, but mine really was. If I were to tell you about her, you would feel what I felt and others felt about her even in a moment, a fragment of a second, you would get a sense of her spirit, humor, nuture, kindness, humility, charity, etc. I could go on and on about her. but you don't want to hear about that you want to know why I am writing this, and like so many other countless stories, what makes my struggle any more worthy than the next man or womans. I am in no position to tell you that my trial is far worse, or more deserving than anothers, I am not asking for a certain amount, or for one particular thing. Anything you send would be beneficial to any and all areas of my life and that of my children. I can only say that for someone who has dreams and aspirations of someday coming out of this fog, permanately, your donations would put me in a position of independence.

My car was impounded for registration 4 days ago. It's all I have to get my family back on our feet. I am recently homeless and trying to save my daughter and i. I am trying to work and need to start in a few days . Please help my 4 yr old and I . We don't have any other sources to help us. She starts kindergarten in the fall. God bless u and I am in such despair and pray for our survival .

Where do I begin? Perhaps I'll begin by saying how awkward I feel writing this - it isn't everyday that I sit down in front of a computer and decide to plead for money online, but with things not going very well I decided to do it for my family. We've been in a downward spiral since the unexpected loss of my full-time job in the end of December 2010 (Happy New Year!!!!). I've been doing what I can to keep the family's head above water, but the rent / utilities are falling behind. I have been frantically searching for an employment solution to no avail - time (and what little we had in savings) has run out. I never in my life imagined being in a situation like this. Well, in the midst of this crisis, my wife and I continue to stand as pillars of strength for one another and for our 9-year-old son, but we're immersed in depths of uncertainty and anxiety. Thankfully, we still find ways to smile to escape the despair. We do hope for a positive result. Perhaps with your generosity, we can find one. I think of the many people who are in similar situations and are asking for help. I cross my fingers hoping that I am one whose request luckily finds you. Please imagine someone placing an hourglass in front of you - they say to you: by the time the sand runs out...that's it...it's over for you. Imagine how overwhelming the fear and anxiety becomes as the sand marks the passing of time - time you no longer have. This is exactly the way I have been feeling lately...ever since I lost my job in the end of December. I have been immersed in anxiety ever since. I search diligently every single day for work to get the family back on the right track - in this economy it seems it really is to no avail. My stress increases as I watch what little we have in savings is whittled down to almost nothing - we are now counting mere pennies. I got so angry and frustrated on my son's last day of school when my car (a 1996 Buick Century) decided it had nothing left to give. I break down crying with envy at times when I hear of someone who has been lucky enough to land a job...get a new car...or receive needed help from a Good Samaritan. With all of the personal stories this website gets on a daily basis, I doubt that mine will reach the right people or impact anyone. But...if by some miracle it does...I want to thank you in advance...from the deepest part of my heart!

At this point, I don't have much to offer. But, I can promise you this. I will pay your generosity forward. I believe very much in the power of giving. I once purchased a handful of groceries for a homeless man who stood on a street corner. I will always remember the look on his face when I approached and handed him a week's worth of food and asked for nothing in return.

Sincerely,
Charlie

WANTED: $30,000! Please help save Melissa from financial despair! I am currently in some financial straits, so I decided to start this blog (http://savemelissa.blogspot.com/) to ask for money to help me through. I am currently on a medical leave of absence without pay and have bills that I need to pay! I have credit card debt, a car loan, two student loans, rent, etc., and I don't have any money coming in. To top it off, I'm getting married June 2012 and have not been able to save up much of any money for it at all. My fiancé has helped me out as much as he can but he can only do so much. So I'm opening it up to the generous people in cyberspace and asking please, please, donate whatever you can! Karma will pay you back tenfold! You can send money via PayPal, by clicking on the ads on my page, by ordering items from Amazon.com, or by cash/cheque through the mail. Please feel free to contact me! savemelissaplease@gmail.com

WANTED: $30,000! Please help save Melissa from financial despair! I am currently in some financial straits, so I decided to start this blog (http://savemelissa.blogspot.com/) to ask for money to help me through. I am currently on a medical leave of absence without pay and have bills that I need to pay! I have credit card debt, a car loan, two student loans, rent, etc., and I don't have any money coming in. To top it off, I'm getting married June 2012 and have not been able to save up much of any money for it at all. My fiancé has helped me out as much as he can but he can only do so much. So I'm opening it up to the generous people in cyberspace and asking please, please, donate whatever you can! Karma will pay you back tenfold! You can send money via PayPal, by clicking on the ads on my page, by ordering items from Amazon.com, or by cash/cheque through the mail. Please feel free to contact me! savemelissaplease@gmail.com

WANTED: $30,000! Please help save Melissa from financial despair! I am currently in some financial straits, so I decided to start this blog (http://savemelissa.blogspot.com/) to ask for money to help me through. I am currently on a medical leave of absence without pay and have bills that I need to pay! I have credit card debt, a car loan, two student loans, rent, etc., and I don't have any money coming in. To top it off, I'm getting married June 2012 and have not been able to save up much of any money for it at all. My fiancé has helped me out as much as he can but he can only do so much. So I'm opening it up to the generous people in cyberspace and asking please, please, donate whatever you can! Karma will pay you back tenfold! You can send money via PayPal, by clicking on the ads on my page, by ordering items from Amazon.com, or by cash/cheque through the mail. Please feel free to contact me! savemelissaplease@gmail.com

WANTED: $30,000! Please help save Melissa from financial despair! I am currently in some financial straits, so I decided to start this blog (http://savemelissa.blogspot.com/) to ask for money to help me through. I am currently on a medical leave of absence without pay and have bills that I need to pay! I have credit card debt, a car loan, two student loans, rent, etc., and I don't have any money coming in. To top it off, I'm getting married June 2012 and have not been able to save up much of any money for it at all. My fiancé has helped me out as much as he can but he can only do so much. So I'm opening it up to the generous people in cyberspace and asking please, please, donate whatever you can! Karma will pay you back tenfold! You can send money via PayPal, by clicking on the ads on my page, by ordering items from Amazon.com, or by cash/cheque through the mail. Please feel free to contact me! savemelissaplease@gmail.com

WANTED: $30,000! Please help save Melissa from financial despair! I am currently in some financial straits, so I decided to start this blog (http://savemelissa.blogspot.com/) to ask for money to help me through. I am currently on a medical leave of absence without pay and have bills that I need to pay! I have credit card debt, a car loan, two student loans, rent, etc., and I don't have any money coming in. To top it off, I'm getting married June 2012 and have not been able to save up much of any money for it at all. My fiancé has helped me out as much as he can but he can only do so much. So I'm opening it up to the generous people in cyberspace and asking please, please, donate whatever you can! Karma will pay you back tenfold! You can send money via PayPal, by clicking on the ads on my page, by ordering items from Amazon.com, or by cash/cheque through the mail. Please feel free to contact me! savemelissaplease@gmail.com

WANTED: $30,000! Please help save Melissa from financial despair! I am currently in some financial straits, so I decided to start this blog (http://savemelissa.blogspot.com/) to ask for money to help me through. I am currently on a medical leave of absence without pay and have bills that I need to pay! I have credit card debt, a car loan, two student loans, rent, etc., and I don't have any money coming in. To top it off, I'm getting married June 2012 and have not been able to save up much of any money for it at all. My fiancé has helped me out as much as he can but he can only do so much. So I'm opening it up to the generous people in cyberspace and asking please, please, donate whatever you can! Karma will pay you back tenfold! You can send money via PayPal, by clicking on the ads on my page, by ordering items from Amazon.com, or by cash/cheque through the mail. Please feel free to contact me! savemelissaplease@gmail.com

WANTED: $30,000! Please help save Melissa from financial despair! I am currently in some financial straits, so I decided to start this blog (http://savemelissa.blogspot.com/) to ask for money to help me through. I am currently on a medical leave of absence without pay and have bills that I need to pay! I have credit card debt, a car loan, two student loans, rent, etc., and I don't have any money coming in. To top it off, I'm getting married June 2012 and have not been able to save up much of any money for it at all. My fiancé has helped me out as much as he can but he can only do so much. So I'm opening it up to the generous people in cyberspace and asking please, please, donate whatever you can! Karma will pay you back tenfold! You can send money via PayPal, by clicking on the ads on my page, by ordering items from Amazon.com, or by cash/cheque through the mail. Please feel free to contact me! savemelissaplease@gmail.com

WANTED: $30,000! Please help save Melissa from financial despair! I am currently in some financial straits, so I decided to start this blog (http://savemelissa.blogspot.com/) to ask for money to help me through. I am currently on a medical leave of absence without pay and have bills that I need to pay! I have credit card debt, a car loan, two student loans, rent, etc., and I don't have any money coming in. To top it off, I'm getting married June 2012 and have not been able to save up much of any money for it at all. My fiancé has helped me out as much as he can but he can only do so much. So I'm opening it up to the generous people in cyberspace and asking please, please, donate whatever you can! Karma will pay you back tenfold! You can send money via PayPal, by clicking on the ads on my page, by ordering items from Amazon.com, or by cash/cheque through the mail. Please feel free to contact me! savemelissaplease@gmail.com

I am a widowed mother of a 17 year old son. Since my husband of 23 years died over six years ago, I have experienced one tragic loss after another. I am desperately trying not to totally despair, but I need a break soon. My son developed severe emotional problems after his dad died. My medical bills have run into the thousands of dollars. A couple of years ago I lost two full-time jobs due to having to assist my son with his mental issues (i.e. suicidal tendancies, depression). I, myself had to be treated for a chronic health condition, and have managed to hold down a full-time job since. In addition, I work cleaning homes in my spare time. The problems here is that too much has come at me too fast, and I am having a hard time recovering from all the losses. I can barely afford my weekly grocery bill.
Please, could someone give me a helping hand so that I can start re-building my life? I have worked very hard to hold things together, but I feel it's all slipping away. I cannot take on more debt at this point. Thank you for your consideration.