Deeper Tags

Where to begin? Well Im currently pregnant, close to 7 months and working part time. Ive stepped in some muck lately but it just gets deeper, trying to get out though. I have a roof for which Im thankful but have nothing to cook on, I have an ok job but no transportation, Im being blessed with a second child at my age but no bassinette or car seat, I barely make the bills and have a disabled mom to support, but I get up every day and try. Im only asking for a little relief from worry as I near maternity leave (unpaid of course). If anyone can just donate spare change thats a few cents off my mind, and believe me worry weighs more than an elephant! Anything would be a blessing, pennies from heaven or a quarter from the ashtray in the car :) Thank You

do you have more land than you know what to do with? And if so would you be willing to give me an 80 by60 foot piece of it?.I want to build a 300 Sq foot tiny home for my wife and I. now that we are both on social security we are just getting deeper in debt.if we had a place of our own that was small we could catch up on our bills and still have a little money to spend on the things we need. Thank you for reading this beg and God Bless you even if you cant help. Or you could just add some small amount to my paypal aaccount that might help me get there even a dollar or two would help again thanks

behind on my bills cant catch up i am disabled and only recieve 855.00 a month
i just seemed to be getting deeper into debt my license is expired right now due to a seat belt ticket and i have to pay 590.00 in june to get license back but the bills i wont be able to pay i dont know what to do i need my license to go to and from doctor to and from for meds i am a good person not a scammer this is a real beg if their is someone out their to help me with their kindness

Hello! Here's my story...

A few years ago, right after I returned from Iraq and got out of the Army, my wife filed for divorce and took our daughter to another State. I was left with the house and steadily increasing credit card debt as I tried to pay my bills and keep up with child support and alimony. Finally I couldn't do it anymore, and had to declare Chapter 13 bankruptcy. The bank forclosed on my home and the court assigned me a monthly bankruptcy payment. I've been able to stop the massive slide into deeper debt thanks to the bankruptcy, but am still barely keeping my head above water. Every month is still a struggle to make ends meet. I basically get two chances to see my daughter per year, one month in the summer and once at Christmas. Last Christmas I couldn't even afford a plane ticket to see my little girl, which really hurt, and I have no idea how I'm going to come up with the money to see her this summer.

Any donations will be greatly appreciated, and someday I promise to pay it forward. God bless.

This is very new to me. Doubt anyone actually reads these, but I am desperate. I have 5 children and recently took in another. We cannot afford daycare for all of our children so I work while my spouse stays home to care for the kids. There are somedays where we are flipping couch cushions to find change for milk or diapers. We live paycheck to paycheck and rarely have any extra for even school activities. I spent a year racking up credit card debt just to get by. Now I am in deeper than ever. I no longer have credit cards and will never get one again. I want to pay off my car, student loans and other debt so I can provide fully for my family. I know I screwed up and have learned my lesson. Now I am begging for help! Please; anything will help.

This is very new to me. Doubt anyone actually reads these, but I am desperate. I have 5 children and recently took in another. We cannot afford daycare for all of our children so I work while my spouse stays home to care for the kids. There are somedays where we are flipping couch cushions to find change for milk or diapers. We live paycheck to paycheck and rarely have any extra for even school activities. I spent a year racking up credit card debt just to get by. Now I am in deeper than ever. I no longer have credit cards and will never get one again. I want to pay off my car, student loans and other debt so I can provide fully for my family. I know I screwed up and have learned my lesson. Now I am begging for help! Please; anything will help.

After my owner's husband died three years ago, she's had to make a go of it alone and take a series of manual labor jobs to try and support herself and me, her 6-yr-old pet dog. She does not receive any widow's pension as her husband was self-employed and so she has accumulated credit card debt because her own self-employment salary does not cover all of her utility and insurance bills, and some of my vet bills (I had an abcessed tooth, I'm ashamed to say, and that turned into a $400 procedure), and so she's been charging big bills such as auto insurance and machine repairs to her credit card. She says her truck is 15 years old and has over 130,000 miles on it, so she mostly commutes to our nearest town for yard work whenever it's available. She enjoys hard work, but right now, there's not enough of it around to cover our monthly expenses and so she's had to take out loans and we are getting deeper into debt each month. Please help this furry e-panhandler and her mom if you can.

hi I am a single mother, currently working 2 jobs with a mortgage. I feel like I am in quicksand and no matter how much I try to move forward I am not getting any where and in fact sinking deeper and deeper. Please help

My small family includes my wife and my 19 month old son. I know that Im lucky in many ways because I still have them, but it seems as though everything has been falling apart over the past 6 months. I have always said there's work out there if you want it. I have been a roofer since I was 20 years old. I love roofing (believe it or not) 6 months ago I injured my back and found out I have a bulging disc. Since then, I have not been able to continue roofing, despite many attempts to work slower, take it easy, or work as a helper. I have tried to get jobs at Lowes, Home Depot, etc. Applied at numerous other places. I cant find any job that will even give me a shot because of my back. My credit is now shot, I am just digging myself deeper and deeper in debt, and I have never been this embarrassed in my life. I feel like a failure, but I know that there is something better for me in life than this. Lately my life has been a series of let-downs and disappointments, but I know it will get better eventually. I'm just hoping that there is someone out there that has been through this and got passed it and understands. I'm about $11,000 total in debt, and its only getting worse. Please, any help would be greatly appreciated by my family and I. God bless those who took the time to read this and good luck to those who are in the same boat as me.

Well, where to begin. First let me say that I lost my job abut a year ago and I don't qualify for benefits because the company I worked for never paid my Social security or disability or unemployment insurance to the government. Now I am screwed ... I am in such a deep depression and I find myself falling deeper into a hole as the days go by. I got myself into some legal problems about 12 years ago when my daughter was born and now even that is haunting me right now. I can't get a job because it seems that every place I apply is doing a background check ... I don't want a top government clearance, I just want a damn job. Anyway, I don't want to tell every single thing that's going wrong right now, that's what I need therapy for ..lol. My health is declining, I'm losing weight, even my teeth are starting to decay to the point where very expensive surgery is needed. PLEASE, and I GOD FEARINGLY mean PLEASE, Can someone please help me with a few dollars to help me out of this financial hole I am in. I am not even able to help my children and that is gonna be the death of me. I have a total of three daughter that I need to help. I live in Westchester county in NY and I don't have a car to get around. Everything is dependent on buses and trains and I can't pay for either right now. I tried to get out of this mess with credit but now I owe the credit card companies ... I'm sinking deeper and deeper every day. Please help ... I don't want to die. I just want to be happy and proud of myself. It is so demeaning to ask strangers for help. I could never beg in the streets so I've turned to the cowards way out ... Just Please ... If you can ... Help me.

Hello,

I have a real good family in real need.Still staying positive but have hit rock bottom. I dont drink or do drugs.

I have lost alot in the past few years. Laid off from my sales job, I then lost my truck then my home. We found other houses and barely paid rent for a few years. I worked with my dad remodeling houses. Then we lost my brother in 2009.
Motorcycle accident, he was 24.

In August of 2010 I witnessed my father have a fatal heart attack. This hit me hard and caused complications with everyday simple tasks. I continued doing our remodeling jobs for a while. My mom had nervous break down and got deeper into drugs.

I have my wife and kids that I am very thankful for.
Recently we could not pay rent and have moved in with my wifes parents and it is awful.
I know I can and will rise out of this.
Just not sure when. Any hell will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for reading.

I will keep this short, because I don't have too much faith in this to be honest, but don't know where else to turn.
My husband and I have a one year old little girl. He works full time, and I work and attend school part time.
It seems that no matter what we do...we fall deeper and deeper. We just can't seem to keep up! It's depressing, and makes me sad.
I wouldn't get so down about it if it were just he and I, but I want so much more for our daughter. The pressing issue right now is getting oil for our home (heat & hot water).
The last 100 gallons we had delivered, my church paid for (praise God), but I can't ask again! I have applied for help through the state, but last year I didn't get oil delivered until APRIL! Obviously, I didn't need it by that time, and we were cold all winter. In fact, we had to use electric heaters for heat, and our power got shut off because of our outrageous electric bill that we couldn't pay. We were forced out because of no running water. I just feel like we should be farther ahead by this point....
Anyway, I feel guilty even writing to ask for help, but I guess if it is within someone elses' means to help...then that is the point, right!?
I would do the same I believe if I was able.
Thank you to whomever may read this and care to be merciful. I appreciate your taking the time out to come visit a site like this.

Sincerely,
Rachel C.

where to start. i'm a 25 year old male who has lost all hope in life i honestly dont know why i'm sticking around. I'm so depressed I've gone and got myself in to a lot of debt a few years ago and now i just cant seem to get ahead. I really want to change my life and do something with it, i have a good job that i enjoy and i seem to have a reasonable pay but it just doesn't cover the bills. I barely cover my interest at the moment after rent bills and food. I just want a start on life and after being dumped by my fiance today (on christmas of all days) I feel like i always give my all in a relationship and i end up getting hurt, this time i dont know if i'll ever be ready for a relationship again, it hurts so much i just want to die. I feel like i am stuck in a dead end town and i have no friends. I'm not a bad person and give myself and my time generously without ever asking for anything in return and yet i always seem to get the rough end of the stick. I have about 24000 dollars in debt a 1000 dollar phone bill and my car registration for about 600 dollars is due in less than 15 days. I just cant see any way out of this by myself. Any help would be so very much appreciated. If i dont start seeing this debt going somewhere soon i can see myself slipping deeper into depression. I dont want to feel this way

Hello. I am a commercial driver in need of financial help. My situation is 100% verifiable. On 9/20/11 I was driving a tractor trailer in Lamar, Pa, delivering a load to New Jersey when my truck caught on fire. To escape certain death I had to jump out of the burning truck, sustaining injuries in the process. A few minutes later the truck exploded and was incinerated. There was no driver error. Everybody who hears my story tells me that I'm lucky to be alive. However, Ive been out of work ever since. I do have legal representation in a workers comp case pending in Pa. My lawyer informed me that it may take up to a year before I start receiving workers comp benefits because my employer failed to have workers comp coverage while operating his business in Pa. I have absolutely no income. I lost my home and is now staying with a relative, sleeping on his couch. My car was towed due to expired tags. My bill to get my car out of the tow yard is now $2500 and rising daily. If I dont get my car out I will lose it in less than two weeks. I'm in serious pain daily from my injuries but cant get medical treatment because I dont have medical insurance and is forced to wait until I begin receiving workers comp benefits before I can get medical treatment. I applied for and was denied public assistance because I have only joint, and not full, custody of my 6 year old daughter. Even though NC Dept Of Social Services sympathized with what happened to me they told me that nc dss policy dont allow a parent with only joint custody of his child to get public assistance despite the fact that the nature of my occupation (over the road commercial transportation)prohibits me from having full custody of my child. I cant work until I receive treatment for my injuries. I dont know what else to do for money while waiting for my workers comp case to go through.I currently cant even provide food for myself and my daughter. Everyday I'm sinking deeper and deeper into destitution, anxiety and depression.I am sincerely hoping that somebody will read my story on Begslist and decide to help me. I am a hard working American citizen that, through no fault of my own, was involved in an on the job incident that left me injured, homeless, carless and destitute. I need help.Again, my situation is 100% verifiable. If you have any questions please call 980-345-7601 and ask for Wayne. Any and all help you can provide me will be truly appreciated.

Hello. I am a commercial big rig driver by occupation. My story is 100% verifiable. I'm in dire straits as a result of an on the job injury that occurred on 9/20/11. On that day I was operating a tractor trailer in Lamar, Pa delivering a load from Ohio to New Jersey when the truck I was driving caught fire and exploded. I had to jump out of the truck while it was burning, minutes before it exploded, injuring me in the process. The truck was incinerated. There was no driver error. Everybody tells me that I'm lucky to be alive. I've been out of work ever since. I have legal representation in a workers comp case pending in Pa. My lawyer informed me that it may take up to a year before I start receiving workers comp benefits, because my employer failed to have workers comp insurance while operating in Pa. In the meantime I have absolutely no income. I already lost my home since the incident and is now staying with a relative in his living room. My car was towed for expired registration.My bill to get my car out of the tow yard is now $2500 and rising daily. If I dont have the money to pay the bill I will lose my car in less than two weeks. I'm in daily pain from and in serious need of post er medical treatment for my injuries but, without medical insurance, I'm forced to wait for medical treatment until I begin receiving workers comp benefits.Each and every day that passes I'm sinking deeper and deeper into destitution,anxiety and depression.I have a 6 year old daughter and cant provide even food for her, much less clothes and school supplies. I applied for welfare but the nc dept of social services told me that I dont qualify for public assistance because I have only joint custody of my daughter. Despite my explanation to DSS, that due to the nature of my occupation(over the road commercial transportation)I cant have full custody of my child, I was still denied public assistance. I cant return to work until my injuries are treated. I dont know what else to do but reach out to people for financial help via Beglist.com. My situation is 100% verifiable. If you have any questions please call 980-345-7601 and ask for Wayne. Any and all help that you can provide me will be truly appreciated

I am asking for help so I can pay off my bills and loans. I have taken out loans upon loans in trying to get caught up in my debts, but it seems I am falling deeper and deeper into a hole. I just had my car engine blow up on me and I need money to fix this. Last week the loan car I was using the transmission went bad. And atop of this I owe money to family members. Is just one thing after other. This is my last resort and I am just asking all of you that view my site to just donate $1 or anything that you can afford. I am not a greedy person and I know every little bit helps. I have two children ages 13 & 5 and I have no college education funds set up for them and this is one of my goals to do in the future. My first goal would be getting out of debt and regaining control of my financial situation.
I want to thank you all for looking at my site. I want to thank you all for the donations. I really appreciate all the help and generosity.

I'm another victim of the housing bust. I purchased my house in 2006 for 600K. Its now valued at around 250K and I'm soon facing an adjusting mortgage rate.

What is worse, the house quickly started revealing a ton of hidden problems soon after the purchase was complete. (yes we did an inspection). On top of that, the guy who sold me this house, immediately squeezed in another house on what was the empty lot next to mine. The new house is less than 3 feet away from mine and I can literally reach out the window and touch it if I lean. This guy really took advantage of me and then used my money to build another house! This also cut off all my views and light.

I was naive and listened to a lot of bad advice when making this purchase, but at the time that price for the house I got in California was a great deal. A steal! And then the housing bust. Now I'm left deeply underwater and with a house that needs a lot of repairs.

I can't qualify for a loan modification because I'm current on my payments. I can't refinance because of the loan to value ratio being so bad. I don't want to walk away from my home and cause another foreclosure to damage the values of even more homes in my neighborhood. Its a tough situation, and all I want to do is gain enough extra money to pay down some of my principal so that I start digging myself out of this horrible hole.

I realize that a lot of people have a lot of deeper problems, but I figure it can't hurt to ask. Once I am back on my financial feet I WILL pay it forward and find others to help. I actually already try to help people learn how to make money online and I also give to disaster relief whenever I can.

Please contribute to my cause. I'm just another American citizen trying to do the right thing for myself and my community. I have cut back on life's ammenities, I don't go on vacation, I work as much and as hard as I can to make extra money, but I just need a little more help.
Thank you!

Most people say don't have them if you can't afford them, but they don't take into consideration that I didn't have them all by myself. When they were born, I could. Now Daddy skipped out and the stupid state has done nothing as far as child support goes and I'm just falling deeper and deeper while daddy's living the high life. Now the state wants to take them from me! Why? Because I'm poor and don't live in a mansion with maids and
nannys. I love my kids and would die for them. Please help me. I don't need wealth. I don't want to be rich. And I'm not a welfare case. I'm just a struggling loving Mommy. I will die without them. I recently had a kidney removed so I'm limited but not ill anymore. Please find it in your heart to help me. Thank you very much and God bless!!

HELLO. I AM WRITING FOR SOME DESPERATE HELP. I AM A GOOD PERSON AND VERY HONEST. IM A CARING PERSON THAT USED TO BE ABLE TO HELP OTHERS WHEN THEY NEEDED IT NOW I AM IN NEED OF SOME FINANCIAL HELP. THE LOSS OF MY JOB HAS BROUGHT ME WAY BEHIND IN RENT AND A FEW OTHER BILLS. I ALSO HAVE 6 KIDS TO TAKE CARE OF AND SEEING AS I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO FIND A JOB AS OF YET THE HOLE IS GETTING DEEPER. I DONT WANT TO HAVE TO MOVE CAUSE OF NOT AFFORDING RENT AND THEN UPROOTING MY KIDS TO A DIFFERENT PLACE TO START OVER AND THEN BE IN A BIGGER MESS CAUSE I CANT AFFORD ANOTHER PLACE. I AM IN SUCH A MESS. I ONLY HAVE A FEW MORE MONTHS TO COME UP WITH ALL THE MONEY I OWE. THE LANDLORD SAYED IF I CAN COME UP WITH THE MONEY IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS FOR THE RENT PART AND GET CAUGHT UP THEN ME AND MY KIDS CAN STAY. I AM HOPING THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE ON HERE THAT CAN TRULY HELP ME GET OUT OF THIS SITUATION AND HELP MY KIDS. THERE GOOD KIDS AND I DONT WANT TO HURT THEM BY HAVING TO MOVE AND THEM LOSE THERE FRIENDS AND LIFE HERE.. PLEASE IF YOU CAN HELP ME I ASK JESUS TO GUIDE ME TO THE RIGHT ONES THAT CAN TRULY HELP ME BEFORE ITS TOO LATE AND MY LIFE GETS IN CHAOS MORE THAN IT IS .. I AM A GOOD CHRISTIAN WOMAN AND PROMISE THAT THE MONEY WILL TRULY BE USED FOR WHAT I SAY AND NOTHING MORE. I DONT HAVE A CHECKING RIGHT NOW, AND ITS HARD TO CASH CHECKS SO CASH WOULD BE THE BEST WAY OR A PAYMENT TO PAYPAL MABEY.. I NEED ABOUT 2500 TO BE CAUGHT UP.. HOPE SOMEONE HAS A HEART TO HELP.. I REALLY NEED THIS HELP AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AS THE LANDLORD IS PRETTY IRATE AND ONLY GOING TO PUT UP WITH THIS TIL ABOUT OCT, SO THE SOONER THE BETTER :( GOD BLESS

Thank you in advance for taking the time to read my plea.

My name is Faith and I am a Christian mother of two school aged children.

I am filled with gratitude and thanks to God for all the blessings he has given me. The greatest gifts that I have been given are my two children.

I have never reached out to anyone for help, but today I feel compelled to reach out. I have been unable to sleep or eat for months, my hair is falling out from stress and my body is covered in hives.

I know that my hands are tied, I cannot solve my financial problems on my own. I have tried, I work full time, I have been doing additional work, cleaning homes, doing paid research studies, etc. I know that God has the power to put the right people and the right circumstances in our lives to solve any problems, even if they seem impossible.

I am literally drowning in debt. It feels like I am in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and I keep going down deeper and deeper.

My son was born with Congenital Heart Disease and required Open Heart Surgery. Due to complications and financial shortcomings as a result of my son's surgery, my children and I were forced to leave our home. I found another home for us to live in. Less than a year after moving into our new home, both of my kids became very ill. My son was once again hospitalized. This time he was bleeding internally. We found out that the home we were living in was full of Stracybotrus Mold, the home was deemed uninhabitable. I was told by multiple doctors and by environmental companies that we must leave our home. I was told that I must throw away anything that I had that could not be dipped in bleach to get rid of the mold spores. I rented a large dumpster, the kind that has the stairs on the side to climb up. I literally threw away almost everything that my kids and I have ever owned. I was forced to throw away all of our mattresses, couches, pillows, stuffed animals, stuffed animals, dolls,toys, toaster, curtains, etc. Just imagine everything that you have in your home, if I can't be dipped in bleach, it had to be thrown away.

The health of my children was more important to me that any material possession, so I was OK with throwing it all away.

We are now in another home and I am struggling to replace everything that I had to throw away. I have started with beds for the kids and toys to replace what we had to throw away.

We lost everthing. We lost the money that we put down on the mold house, we lost all the money I put into the mold house trying to make it a home, we lost all of our possessions. But, we have not lost our faith or our gratitude.

I am currently about $20,000 in debt, past due on mortgage, utilities, and credit card bills.

If you can find it in your heart to donate any amount, my family would be so grateful. I really do not care about myself, I buy all my clothes at second hand stores or garage sales, I cut my own hair and eat only things that are really inexpensive like Top Ramen. What I do care about though is my kids. They have suffered enough in their short lives and I want them to feel safe, warm and secure. I have protected them from the financial storm as much as possible, but I know that they see my crying and worrying about the bills, so this is why I am asking for help.

Thank you again for reading my plea.

My husband and I have been desperately trying to keep up on our mortgage after loosing our jobs and having to take on lower paying jobs to avoid being out of work entirely. We are trying to hard and now it has come down to we have to catch up on our mortgage by the end of the month to the tune of $2200 or the bank will start foreclosure. We have a six year old daughter together and he has two kids from a previous marriage and I have two. It is the only house in our school district that we could find to accommodate all five children. We are both working seven days a week trying to get over this hill, but it seems like we are getting deeper and deeper. I suffered a stroke in November and this has further hindered my work as I type for a living and I have severe weakness on my right side.

I would greatly appreciate any help.

Hi,

I am horrified to have to do this, but truly have no where else to turn. I lost my job after close to 20 years, then had a bad injury shortly there after. I have fallen deeper and deeper in to a hole that I can't see any way out of, and am at my wit's end.

I need to raise $8,000 as quickly as possible as I have fallen behind now on rent and all bills. If there is anyone out there who can help in any way, you have no idea what a huge blessing you would be in my life.

Thank you in advance for your kindness, and wishing you all the best life has to offer.

I appreciate you listening.

Hi,

I am horrified to have to do this, but truly have no where else to turn. I lost my job after close to 20 years, then had a bad injury shortly there after. I have fallen deeper and deeper in to a hole that I can't see any way out of, and am at my wit's end.

I need to raise $8,000 as quickly as possible as I have fallen behind now on rent and all bills. If there is anyone out there who can help in any way, you have no idea what a huge blessing you would be in my life.

Thank you in advance for your kindness, and wishing you all the best life has to offer.

I appreciate you listening.

Hi,

I am horrified to have to do this, but truly have no where else to turn. I lost my job after close to 20 years, then had a bad injury shortly there after. I have fallen deeper and deeper in to a hole that I can't see any way out of, and am at my wit's end.

I need to raise $8,000 as quickly as possible as I have fallen behind now on rent and all bills. If there is anyone out there who can help in any way, you have no idea what a huge blessing you would be in my life.

Thank you in advance for your kindness, and wishing you all the best life has to offer.

I appreciate you listening.

I'm a 24 year old female currently living in a friend's dorm room. His lease ends in May, and that will be the day I become homeless. I've put in job applications everywhere and nobody's gotten back to me, and I still have a single bill that I've yet to pay off... the time is ticking, and I couldn't think of anything else to do.

I'm pretty sure nobody reads these things, but this is my last shot at doing something for myself and getting out of the rut that will inevitably leave me homeless in one month. Here's a story that shows just how terrible gaming addictions can become and how much harder it is to dig yourself out of a hole that only deepens by the day with no hope of escape.

In 2007, I began playing World of Warcraft on my crappy laptop (which at the time had been a great piece of machinery). It started out innocently enough. I had real life friends who played the game and I'd wanted to know what it was all about so I bought and installed it. I was instantly hooked in the world, and made some friends that I talk with even to this day. I went through several guilds before I finally found the one I thought I would enjoy. I began spending endless amounts of time in the game, engrossing myself in it. I quit all of my outside activities and all of my hobbies revolved around getting in the game and playing it until the wee hours of the morning. I would come to work sleepy and dislike everyone around me. After the first two years I fell into an odd depression that could only be quelled by, what I thought, was WoW. By the time 2010 rolled around I had been living in four different places IRL, bumming from one place to the other in order to have more game time. I hadn't had a job, I hadn't even looked for one.

Eventually, in September of 2010, I'd had enough. While I want to blame the game for everything wrong I've done in my life, I can only blame myself for letting it get so bad. I could have shut it off at any time, but I didn't. I could have listened to everyone who told me what I was turning into, but I hadn't. My parents had driven from Illinois to Cleveland, Ohio to bring me back home. It was the opening for a new beginning that I thought would get me back on the path of redemption... but it was only the start of a larger nightmare. Between an internet addiction and an unquenchable withdraw from a lack of a game I could no longer play for fear of losing the roof over my head, I managed to find a job at a local gas station.. but that wasn't enough for my parents. They held my misgivings over my head constantly and for every one thing I did right, twenty things were wrong. After I forgot to do the dishes for the fourth time that month, my internet connection had been taken away.

Instead of taking this as a queue to get away and start my life anew, I fell deeper into depression. Withdraw took over and I used the library computers for an hour or two a day before I went to work to keep in touch with the friends I'd been cut off from. Eventually I'd put enough money together to get my own internet connection and had told my father that the Comcast guys were going to come over to install it. He'd been fine with it though knew my mother would throw a fit. A week later, the internet guys installed my box and left. The internet worked for an hour then shot out. When I told my father that the guys had to come back to re-install whatever they had forgotten to do, he'd thrown a fit about people "drilling holes in his wall, and walking into HIS home", and refused to acknowledge that I'd ever had the conversation with him in the first place. This sent me into a panic attack that ended in a night of hospitalization.

While I was in the hospital I had told the doctor while in tears that I didn't wish to see my parents while I was being treated because they were the reason I was in the situation I was in. While they had not physically harmed me, I was in no mental state to deal with their accusations anymore (which my father had yelled and argued with me the entire way to the hospital already). When they'd finally discharged me, I had found out that I had been abandoned at the hospital with no way home; I'd called a good friend to take me home.

The next day, I was told via text that I was no longer welcome in my parents' home.

While trying with everything I could not to lose my mind for a second time, I made as many phone calls as I could. Nobody could help me. Finally, my sister had offered me a place to stay in her friends' dorm room for a day or two just to make sure that I wasn't left on the street. As if by an act of God, an old friend from high school came into my life and offered me a place at his dorm room until I was able to get back on my feet. I now live two hours away from where "home" used to be, and am typing from my computer here. I had to leave the only stable job I'd had in 2 years to come here and getting back on my feet is proving harder than I could've ever imagined. I've had job interviews with no luck and I don't have enough money to put a down payment on an apartment in the area. If I don't find a solution by May 1st, I -will- be homeless.

I wish I could blame everything I've done on my gaming, and the internet, but as said before, it was my own stupidity that has landed me in this situation. Mental addictions are harder to break than physical ones and even now, 6 months after quitting World of Warcraft, every part of me still wants to go back to it, to get back the comfort of living in another world that it used to give me. The only thing that seems to break the feeling and keep it down is a cigarette; cheapest pack available, mind you. The point I'm trying to make is that gaming addictions can be dangerous, all consuming, and deadly. Someday I may write a paper on all the effects of letting yourself succumb to the beautiful world of anonymity and pixels... but here isn't the place to do that.

This is my last ditch effort to get out of the hole I've dug myself into. Today I offer you my heart and soul, and everything I have left that (Thank God) hasn't disintegrated along with everything else I used to be good at.

Thanks for reading. Hope you guys have a fantastic rest of your week.