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My parents passed away.. need help to sustain my life

Posted by skinandbones on 2012-05-22 22:58:33

I am a teenager, and my parents passed away due to cance. I'm don't have any relatives to count on..tried to work part time jobs and stuffs, but school fees, bills, medical bills from hospital for parents etc have been too much.. last resort to try begging..am crying as i'm typing..have hands and legs...but yet need to beg..

Please kindly help me out if you can. I'm just looking to get my life back..

I don't have Paypal..If you would like to help, kindly email me direct at yippayip@aol.com. Thank you.

CANNOT COUNT ON FAMILY

Posted by jasond on 2012-05-22 15:58:53

My name is Jason. I am a hardworking 28 year old married man with three wonderful children 7, 4, and 1 month old, and the best wife anyone could ever ask for. When I and my wife married we were “given” my parents’ home in NY along with the mortgage as a wedding present. My wife and I have spent the last three years renovating this home, dumping every single cent we had into its improvement. We both come from broken homes and both wanted something more than what we came from, and have managed to build a loving stress free environment for our family, and in a matter of a month my “family” (brother, mother and father) have managed to crush our dream out of selfishness and this, “the world owes me something” mentality they all seem to have.
I work full time and also do side jobs on weekends to make ends meet, my wife has been out of work on disability (she will return full time in the next 3 weeks) due to the birth of our son, which should be the happiest time of our life, and yet I get to go home and see my children upset wondering why there uncle is acting the way he is, I get to see my wife cry over the fact that we have been basically reminded that even though we pay the bill and we fix this home and have made it what it never was for me growing up an actual home, that it is not ours and we should have no say over what happens.
My brother who at one time made hundreds of thousands of dollars a year an selfish heartless drug addict, who even though has never treated me or my family with any respect I have always dropped what I am doing regardless of time or place to go “save him”, and by save usually picking his drug addict ass up and making sure he gets home, or dropping what I’m doing to take him to the hospital cause he is so sick from whatever he has taken this time. Now that brother has decided to move in with us, not ask, not offer to help, but blatantly tell me and my wife, “it’s not your house , I am not asking permission to stay here”, and my parents who told me this home was a “Wedding gift” seem to agree. They feel it’s okay for a drug addict to be living among children, that it’s okay that slowly one by one pieces of my wife’s jewelry are disappearing, or that since he came has literally taken over my infant sons nursery with his disgusting belongings that I found my wife sitting on the floor of the living room trying to feed the baby because he’s asleep on the sofa passed out cold and his belonging are strewn all over the house.
My only options are to buy this home that I and my wife have built a great life in so I can say who stays and goes, or to uproot my children and move as far from these selfish disgusting people as possible.
In order to purchase this home I would need a deposit upwards of 12000 which due to me draining my accounts my sons accounts and my wife’s to “save” my brother from jail, drug dealers, etc., we have nothing left. Which has led me here, led me to the point where I feel more dependent on asking strangers for help than my own family because they can’t even help themselves? I am the little brother (youngest of four) who has always had to be the big brother, I am the one one whose entire family drops there problems in my lap as if to say deal with it. I have been the pillar supporting every single family member I have for the last 28 years, the pillar has finally cracked and can’t hold up the weight of the world anymore. I am begging on my hands and knees for help from completer strangers so I can continue to give my children the life I never had, and offer them some stability instead of having to tear them from the home they have come to love, that my wife has come to love, that I love. I want to give my children the world but my family continues to assure that won’t happen under there watch. Please I beg of you with everything I am I need help. Please don’t make us just another statistic, I found my calling and made a life for my wife and children, I have put aside pride, because they are all that matters to me. Thank You for taking the time to read this and thank you for any support or help you can provide.

trying to save home and need money for school

Posted by broke_brook on 2012-05-21 22:58:37

i finally got accepted into pharmacy school and i am broke. i cannot afford to pay bills and school fees at the same time. i got 2 kids and a mother who suffers from clinical depression since my dad left us. i decided to go to school to change my future outlook for my kids, whose father by the way gave up his responsibilty and paternal rights. i have been doing it ALL BY MYSELF! i have lost the weight to prove it. none of my family is here they are mostly in Congo. i am the oldest of 6 children and i am trying my best to assist and be the bread winner of my family. i only make 10.00 an hour and the school i got accepted into, i can not get any loans because i still owe money or i am deliquent on my house bills. i cry EVERYDAY for help!! sometimes i wanna kill my self other times i wallow in a depressive state.....PLEASE HELP ME!! i will take any dime or dollar...thank you

trying to keep my house

Posted by broke_brook on 2012-05-21 22:58:27

i finally got accepted into pharmacy school and i am broke. i cannot afford to pay bills and school fees at the same time. i got 2 kids and a mother who suffers from clinical depression since my dad left us. i decided to go to school to change my future outlook for my kids, whose father by the way gave up his responsibilty and paternal rights. i have been doing it ALL BY MYSELF! i have lost the weight to prove it. none of my family is here they are mostly in Congo. i am the oldest of 6 children and i am trying my best to assist and be the bread winner of my family. i only make 10.00 an hour and the school i got accepted into, i can not get any loans because i still owe money or i am deliquent on my house bills. i cry EVERYDAY for help!! sometimes i wanna kill my self other times i wallow in a depressive state.....PLEASE HELP ME!! i will take any dime or dollar...thank you

Cant count on family

Posted by jasond on 2012-05-21 11:58:13

My name is Jason. I am a hardworking 28 year old married man with three wonderful children 7, 4, and 1 month old, and the best wife anyone could ever ask for. When I and my wife married we were “given” my parents’ home in NY along with the mortgage as a wedding present. My wife and I have spent the last three years renovating this home, dumping every single cent we had into its improvement. We both come from broken homes and both wanted something more than what we came from, and have managed to build a loving stress free environment for our family, and in a matter of a month my “family” (brother, mother and father) have managed to crush our dream out of selfishness and this, “the world owes me something” mentality they all seem to have.
I work full time and also do side jobs on weekends to make ends meet, my wife has been out of work on disability (she will return full time in the next 3 weeks) due to the birth of our son, which should be the happiest time of our life, and yet I get to go home and see my children upset wondering why there uncle is acting the way he is, I get to see my wife cry over the fact that we have been basically reminded that even though we pay the bill and we fix this home and have made it what it never was for me growing up an actual home, that it is not ours and we should have no say over what happens.
My brother who at one time made hundreds of thousands of dollars a year an selfish heartless drug addict, who even though has never treated me or my family with any respect I have always dropped what I am doing regardless of time or place to go “save him”, and by save usually picking his drug addict ass up and making sure he gets home, or dropping what I’m doing to take him to the hospital cause he is so sick from whatever he has taken this time. Now that brother has decided to move in with us, not ask, not offer to help, but blatantly tell me and my wife, “it’s not your house , I am not asking permission to stay here”, and my parents who told me this home was a “Wedding gift” seem to agree. They feel it’s okay for a drug addict to be living among children, that it’s okay that slowly one by one pieces of my wife’s jewelry are disappearing, or that since he came has literally taken over my infant sons nursery with his disgusting belongings that I found my wife sitting on the floor of the living room trying to feed the baby because he’s asleep on the sofa passed out cold and his belonging are strewn all over the house.
My only options are to buy this home that I and my wife have built a great life in so I can say who stays and goes, or to uproot my children and move as far from these selfish disgusting people as possible.
In order to purchase this home I would need a deposit upwards of 12000 which due to me draining my accounts my sons accounts and my wife’s to “save” my brother from jail, drug dealers, etc., we have nothing left. Which has led me here, led me to the point where I feel more dependent on asking strangers for help than my own family because they can’t even help themselves? I am the little brother (youngest of four) who has always had to be the big brother, I am the one one whose entire family drops there problems in my lap as if to say deal with it. I have been the pillar supporting every single family member I have for the last 28 years, the pillar has finally cracked and can’t hold up the weight of the world anymore. I am begging on my hands and knees for help from completer strangers so I can continue to give my children the life I never had, and offer them some stability instead of having to tear them from the home they have come to love, that my wife has come to love, that I love. I want to give my children the world but my family continues to assure that won’t happen under there watch. Please I beg of you with everything I am I need help. Please don’t make us just another statistic, I found my calling and made a life for my wife and children, I have put aside pride, because they are all that matters to me. Thank You for taking the time to read this and thank you for any support or help you can provide.

Please Bless this home we pray...

Posted by bless_me_please on 2012-05-21 09:58:24

I have no other way to help my 6 yr old son and I. I lost my job and my car was repossessed over a month ago. I have less than 10 days to move due to eviction and no means to do it. I have no family left that can help us. I never thought i would be in this situation.
This time has been trying but I am faithful and hope that I will be Blessed. I do cry at night while my son sleeps so that he does not see my tears. In 9 days I have no idea how I will explain how we have no home or that he can only take with him that which we can hold in our hands.
If you are able to Bless me I thank you and please know that your kindness will be paid forward when I am back on my feet. Even if all you can offer is prayer for my son and myself, I thank you.

Bipolar waiting on SSI need med help

Posted by computergurl on 2012-05-17 19:58:02

Hello. I am bipolar and in the process of applying for disability. Due to my bipolar I cannot keep work and am trying to get myself and my survival together while in the disability process. I applied mid April for disability but it will be several months until anything is done.
Right now I am in need of help for medication and my counseling fees. My medication is 347.00 a month and my counseling fees have to be paid upfront and those are 25.00 a week. I haven't had my medicine in 2 days and if I go much longer I will be in bed crying for days. I don't like to skip my counselor but I will to get my meds.
I just need help until SSI comes through...please..

Everytime I stand tall my so called friends watch me fall

Posted by Danielle1984 on 2012-05-16 19:58:14

I hate that I'm here begging for help! I need some financial assistance badly. My mother is very ill and my husband is disabled to the point that I have to take care of him as well. I have 6 children in my care. Im struggling badly. Everyday I wake up crying. I don't know how to do this anymore. I will never quit loving and trying to provide for my loved ones, but honesty I have absolutely nothing left. I'm only 27 and I'm doing what any mother/daughter would do, but now I'm out of means to do so. Please help me. I don't know who else to ask ... I swear if someone helps me so help me God I will pay it forward. I love my family and I fear everyday that my spirit will break

Trapped abroad with no money or family

Posted by mollieking123 on 2012-05-15 18:58:03

Hello, my name is mollie. I came abroad to run away from my problems and start a new life for myself. I have no real family back at home and nowhere to go. I tried to make the best of my situation by working hard, but I have been conned and have ended up with no money and nowhere to live. I have tried to get back on my feet so many times but with no money, no one wants you. I don't even have enough money to wash my clothes, and no one will hire me because of it (which I hardly blame them for) I have resorted to begging online as a cry for help because I see myself going nowhere in my life. If this carries on much longer I don't even know how long I'll be around. I am not a begger, I WANT to work for my money like a decent person, but sometimes life just stops you and you run out of options other than to hope and pray for the decency of other people. please help me, I would be so thankful and would try to repay you the kindness you would have given me one day and share the success of whatever I can achieve with you. I just need someone to believe in me. Thank you for reading.

Facing eviction

Posted by KatRob on 2012-05-15 08:58:44

I never thought that I would be in this position but I am begging and crying for help.

I am a retired military service member, my daughter is a 9 year honorable discharged veteran. We share a home with her 2 daughters.

Due a tax lien I was unable to pay my rent for April and now May.

Neither my daughter nor myself seems to qualify for all the vet assistance programs because we did not deploy to areas such as Iraq or Afganistan. We stayed home and took care of the family members of the personnel that did.

It hurts not to be able to take care of my family as I should.

Is there anyone out there that can please help.

Thank you for listening

HELP US PLEASE - HOME IN DANGER OF REPOSSESSION

Posted by FallenFromGrace on 2012-05-15 05:58:23

Dear Sir or Madam,

We are an average family who have fallen upon very hard times. My wife was let go from her work about 18 months ago with no severance pay and has been unable to find any payable employment since... she has been volunteering at the local school as a classroom assistant but really could do with finding some new work soon.

As you can imagine with my wifes income lost to us things have been tight for a while now so it was an awful second blow when my employers went into administration and the factory was finally closed with all employees laid off, again with no severance pay just over 6 months ago now by the Administrators... we had been hopeful of a buyout but it didn't happen and the whole lot of us were placed onto the scrapheap. As it was we had no payrise for the previous four years...

Things are now hitting crisis point for me and my family, I have only been able to find 4 weeks of paying work in the last six months... we have sold the family car to try and keep my daughter in college and have the house up for sale in the hope we can pay off the capital and start renting but if we don't make this next mortgage payment the bank are going to start foreclosure on us... as for my slightly younger son and his college future that is currently looking very unlikely...

The family pets (2 Cats and 1 Staffie Dog) are as much a part of this family as any of us yet we are now with great reluctance and heartfelt pain considering having to give them up to a the local rescue centre... I think I will cry a thousand tears if I have to let them go but I need to be pratical and focus on my wife and children and putting them first... For I will cry a million tears if I let them down any further than I already have...

Any HELP you can give us will be most gratefully received and a prayer of thanks will be said for every penny.

God Bless you and God Bless America.

Many thanks for reading this.

Charlie x

Husband left me 8 months pregnant with six year old and full time student

Posted by Studentpregomommy27 on 2012-05-06 21:58:05

I am a single mother, my husband recently left me and I am 8 months pregnant. I am a full time nursing student and have a 6 year old daughter. I am struggling just to make ends meet and I cry myself to sleep everynight just worring about how I am going to put gas in the car to get my daughter to school, let alone get myself to classes. I have applied for jobs but no one will hire a pregnant woman and I am in so much despair. Anything even 1$ will help. Thank you

Help Am about to lose everything We own!!

Posted by Dimplez on 2012-05-05 21:58:49

Hi my name is Linda I am a disable mom with three kids I had to put everything we own in storage and now I am close to losing it all. It has been hard being sick things are not going my way.I see doctors every week and my kids are going with out. My son Alex asks me everyday if he still has his bed and his toys and if we have our couches and I cry at night not knowing what is going to happen to our stuff. I just want to make sure my son is happy knowing he still owns his stuff at the end of the day.I want to try to raise money for my storage which is $115 dollars. Please help me everything I own is there. I am hoping to have a better life soon. I am praying for help please. Help me with my wish.

Need some help with bills

Posted by dadneedshelp on 2012-05-03 13:58:56

Hi, I'm a stay at home dad with an 8 month old son who is currently unemployed. I have been looking for a job but I haven't had any success. My wife does work but she is not making enough for us to make ends meet. We have made some drastic cutbacks, even limiting myself to 2 meals a day, just so we make sure that our son is well taken care of. And he is. But we are having trouble paying some of our bills and they won't stop calling us. They have gotten very nasty with us, they've even made my wife cry, and they are treatening to sue us. Can anyone please help? God bless you all.

Trying to clear my debts, before I have a mental breakdown

Posted by sadgirl on 2012-05-03 11:58:37

I am selling everything I have, I moved to a different part of the country to find a job. But the wages haven't covered the bills and rent. I walk to work everyday, I try hard in my job, I am a nurse, and work with the elderly which is very rewarding. I cry myself to sleep every night hoping for a miracle. I need to cover $8,000. Please help me, I would get a second job but I am so tired and running on empty :(

Victim of Rick Perry

Posted by wittynamehere99 on 2012-04-26 18:58:34

I was one of the few employees laid off in a state that somehow survived the recession largely intact, but my position didn't thanks to a governor who rejected parts of the stimulus package. After a struggle for searching for work at home, I set out, with the meager earnings I was able to produce through freelance writing, at a whopping two cents a word, camping along the way, to apply to every open position I could find across this country. 23 months later, I'm still searching. I'm not bilingual, and I don't have a degree. What I do have is experience, an amazing way to deal with people face to face and a ridiculous work ethic, but apparently those aren't the traits looked for in this job market, merely the person who was committed enough to spend four years on a campus.

The math, well, that and the awesome algorithms behind gmail tell me I've applied to 3,150 jobs in over a dozen states. Maybe a hundred interviews from the whole lot. And according to the IRS paperwork I sent in recently, my income last year was a far cry from the most recent classification of the poverty line.

Anything helps, and would be forever appreciated.

One of these days an application will lead to an interview which will lead to an offer, but until then, what? All I can do is keep plugging away. Sleeping in my car when I can't afford a cheap motel room. Waking up to an aggravated foot and hip thanks to my injuries in a life I feel so far removed from it doesn't even feel like it was real anymore.

And I guess, come across this site from the random google search of a desperate person, trying to find some help in a world that seems to have rejected her.

The more I write, the more I keep hearing that little voice on my head saying "Quit your bitching, there are those who have it far worse.", so I'll stop now. Again, any type of help is beyond appreciated. Thank you for reading this far.

In dire straights

Posted by malania on 2012-04-21 17:58:44

i have recently lost my sister,3 days after her funeral i was put in the hospital with a bone infection and diabetic ulcers on my foot. i have no insurance or prescription coverage. i am not allowed to work ,which for me is terrible i love my job as a home health worker. i have not worked in 2 months i have no money comming in i have no money for my utilities or rent,i have an eviction notice and i am afraid i don 't know how long it will be before i can go back to work i had part of my right big toe amputated and now the toe next to it is getting an infection i have never in my life had to ask for help i am always the one to give the help. i hate to wake up each day because i am sinking like the titanic and dont know what to do i would be so appreciative of any help that anyone could give, i am running out of my insulin it is 200 a bottle and i take 2 different types i also have very bad diabetic neuropathies and take medicine to stop that pain but the medication is very expensive . i do not know where to turn all i can do is cry and hope and pray that someone will help i do have evidence to back all that i say ,i would not try to scam anyone out of money, someone please help me till i can get back on my feet thank you i can be reached at lishamills@aim.com thank you and god bless

NEED HELP BAD

Posted by jlvHELP on 2012-04-20 08:58:36

Life is so bad. Lost my job and I'm 58 noone will hire or even reply to my resumes. My husband is handicap and 73, just had open heart surgery so he can't work. We live only on his Social Security and this state says we make too much for assistance. Hum, let them try to live on it. This month we are living on $20 for 3 weeks. Always late on rent. Waiting for phone, TV to be disconnected which happens regularly. Groceries, well go to food pantry to help. Worked all my life and can't believe this is happening. I just sit in my chair most of the time if I'm not crying or having panic attacks. Can't afford insurance or meds, so go to free clinic when I can get in. I'm diabetic, heart issues, lung issues, etc and playing russian roulette, but what can I do. Hope nothing major happens because I have no insurance and can't afford hospital bills, guess I see my parents earlier in heaven.
Anyone if you can help, please please please help us. Anything will help. I've written Ellen so many times but she must think we are worth the help, old folks that we are.

just a little would help A LOT!

Posted by jholiday91 on 2012-04-17 12:58:40

$$ 2000 -I am starting nursing school THIS may. I have credit cards charged because I needed to buy books, supplies, a laptop, and other items for school! It is STRESSING me out because I want to focus on school and not worry about paying bills!!! I've been crying about it like everyday. I just wanna be BROKE. ALL I NEED IS $$$$ 2000. THATS IT. please help. being stressful is painful and hurts! Im sick of crying and I don't think 2000 is too much to ask for!!! MUCH LOVE <3333 THANKSSSS!

HELP WITH FUNERAL

Posted by waitingforgod on 2012-04-16 20:58:07

HI I AM ASKING FOR HELP WITH MR. MAURICE WOLFE FUNERAL EXPENSES AND WE ARE SHORT BY 3700.00, IF ANYONE FEEL IN THEIR HEARTS TO DONATE- PLEASE CONTACT FORD FUNERAL HOME IN MEMPHIS,TN ON SOUTH PARKWAY=OR YOU CAN CONTACT MAURICES SISTER @ 9016858874,9016914517.





THANKS FOR READING OUR CRY.

Please find it in your heart...

Posted by HonestHurt on 2012-04-15 17:58:27

This is not a beg, this is a cry for help. I am 23 years old, with no kids and no vehicle. I have a good paying job where I make over $30,000 dollars a year working with special needs adolescent. I am in a massive amount of debt that I honestly placed myself in trying to clean up a debt that I already had but was manageable. I took out about 6 pay day loans, not all at once to pay of a bill I was short on and it continued to collect interest and build up and pull money out of my account to a point where I was over drafting my account at the same time and collecting a ridiculous amount of overdraft fees. It took me a month to pay it off and literally the next day the payday loan company's continued to pull out and set me back into overdraft so I'm at an enormous amount of negative now and left my apartment to someone else because I cannot manage. I left my apartment with nowhere to go and not even a car to sleep in and I just want to get rid of these payday loan people but it's quite impossible when they pull out my money every two weeks and it's not there because my bank has eaten it in overdraft fees. I'm stranded I'm desperate I have been thinking I the impossible just to get my hand on $4,700 to clear my situation so I can go back to life. I have been gambling as a result of this because at this point I feel I have nothing to lose. All I am holding on to is my good job. Im miserable and facing all types of depression and stress. I have been biting my lip out of anxiety til it bleeds and I have no one to go to. My enormous pride has let up tremendously through this experience which might have been Gods lesson and I try to be more grateful for what I do have however it's not many more sleepovers I can disguise as I have no where to go.
Please find it in your heart to help me please! I will do any good for this help I am in desperate need of it. I can't promise you I can pay you back right away but I am willing to do anything to get me out of this finacial nightmare.

Help Us Start Over

Posted by openyourheart4me on 2012-04-14 13:58:58

My daughter and I are in need of finding a place of our own. These past couple months have been extremely hard because of the death of my mother. We were all living together and my mom was splitting the rent with me and I was working to take care of her. She was sick with Cancer and she had the operation and we all thought she was going to be okay. She did not recover like we expected and she ended up going in a Rehabilitation Center and we visited her often until she came home. I am the youngest of her children. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister and we are called the Berry 5. We were allways known as the Berry Family from the time we were little. My mom started to do better and we were so happy to have her home. It came time for her to Start Chemotherapy and Radiation. She was scared but I and my sister talked her into it because we knew the doctors had told us that she needed it because the cancer had spread to her lymp nodes and when they did the surgery they were not able to get everything. My mom had done one week of Radiation and she went in for one session of Chemo. The same day she had Chemo she seemed fine and then 2 days later she was having fevers, throwing up and so extremely weak. I thought it was because of the Chemo because that is what was explained to us. My concern was she couldn't keep anything down. I needed to give her medication for her Diabetes and High Blood Pressure but everytime I gave her anything, it all came up and so I was so scared because her blood sugar was high and I didn't want it to get any higher. She began to complain of stomach pain and I thought it was another side effect of the Chemo. For a couple days of her vomiting and having diarrhea, I was able to get some fluids down her and it seemed to stay. Little by little we both thought she was doing better. Her strength was not there though, it was difficult for her to even get up to go to the bathroom. The following day she continued to vomit and I was scared so I told her she needed to go to the hospital, because I felt that they could help her more. They could give her medications through an IV and they could find out why she was so weak and everything. She was scared and did not want to go but I convinced her. The ambulance came and took her to the hospital. I tried to follow her but I had to pick up my 11 year old daughter from school. I did go and they would not let me go back right away. I told them my mom had been brought in and they told me she wasn't checked in yet. About 20 minutes passed and I went back up to the window and they told me they would see if the doctor would let me back there and they were saying my daughter couldn't come back there because she wasn't 14, I told them she is only 11 years old and I'm not leaving her in the waiting room with strangers and that she was coming back there with me. They finally let us in and we went back to see my mom. I couldn't believe they had her hooked up to so many machines and she was on morphine and so out of it. I walked up to her and I said Ma, I'm here and she turned and looked at me. She was happy to see me, but then she told me that they told her, they found blood in her stools. I told her it was probably just do to her Hemorrhoids. but she said they told her it was positive for something. I asked her for what and she didn't know. I began looking for the doctor so I could ask questions but he wasn't around and everyone I talked to told me the doctor would be in soon to go over my mom's condition. I stayed with my mom, just holding her hand, telling her I loved her and that she was going to be okay. They came in to take her to have an ultrasound and my daughter and I waited. The doctor finally came in and told me that my mom had an abcess in her stomach that had burst. I said what are you talking about? He said that she had a condition called peridonitis and that the abcess burst and was releasing all this poison inside her stomach and her blood pressure was dropping dramatically. He then told me it was too dangerous for them to operate at that time because her INR level to to high. My mom had been taking Cumadin for a blood clot that she previously had and the cumadin made her INR level extremely high and her blood was not clotting so they said if they did surgery, she would bleed out. They said they needed to correct it by giving her lots of blood products and they gave her all kinds of strong antibiotics and blood and plasma. They were pumping so much stuff into her, I didn't know what to do. Her blood pressure was like 85/60 and then like 76/40 and it was getting lower and lower. They had her hooked up to so many IVs and then they told me that she was the sickest person they had in the ER. So many doctors and interns and students and nurses overcrowded my mom's room. I called my sister and told her what was going on and she came down to be with me and my daughter. They told us they would do all they could for my mom but that it didn't look good. I began to pray, my mom had always taught me to pray and give things over to god. As the night went on, they decided to put an IV in my moms neck, they said it was more direct and if and when she went to surgery it would be better to have that in place. They made us leave the room and they had like 10 people in there with there machines and cameras and equipment to help guide them where to put the IV at. I had never gone through this before and I was so scared but I was keeping my faith. One doctor wanted to talk to me and my sister alone and I didn't want to hear him telling me anything negative. He asked us a lot of questions concerning my mom's health and history. He then told us that she was in acute renal failure and that her colon was damaged where the abcess bursts and fecal was being released into her abdomen. This is the last thing I wanted to hear. I asked him if they could fix it, he said they would do all they could but that their main focus was trying to bring her INR levels down because they were dangerously high. She was also anemic and that is why she was so weak, her blood level was extremely low. They were continuously giving her blood products, antibiotics and plasma. My sister decided to take my daughter home with her. I told her I would call her when I knew when they were going to do surgery. The surgeon had spoken to us and said that it was a good chance, and that operating was her only chance and once her blood level was corrected that they would go in and repair the damage. I felt some what relieved but as the night went on she was in a fight for her life. The main doctor working on my mom's case came and told me that her breathing was not getting any better and that he needed to put her to sleep so he could intubate her and put a breathing tube down her throat. He said it would be good to have anyways so that she would be ready when they went to surgery. There was nothing I could do except walk out of the room and wait. I continued to pray and wait and pray and wait. Hours went by and I would walk and peek inside the room and see my mom's blood pressure increasing some, this gave me hope but then the doctor would come and tell me it wasn't looking like she was improving and that we needed to prepare that she might not make it through the night. i couldn't believe what he was telling me. I called my sister and my brother and told them , they were praying as well. I didn't know who to listen to, one doctor is telling me it's hopeless and the surgeon is telling me it's a good chance she would be okay once taken to surgery. I sat in the hall because they wouldn't let me back in and they stayed with her at all times, monitoring her and giving her medicine and all the blood and stuff back to back. Then they came out in the hall and told me they were ready to take her to surgery. They said she might not hear you but you can still talk to her. I walked up to her lying there, so still and I told her how much I loved her and i told her to fight and that we would do it togther and that I would be here when she woke up and that I was not leaving her. The surgeon put me in the OR waiting room. I was all alone in there by myself. I waited and waited and only 20 mins went by and a security guard told me there was a cafe there and if I wanted to go grab a cup of coffee that I could. I went downstairs and got the coffee, as soon as I reached the OR floor I saw the surgeon standing there, he walked over to me and he said, I'm sorry but your mom's heart stopped during surgery and we revived her but then it stopped again and he said I don't we can get it back. My whole world just crumbled, I began screaming and crying and I fell to the floor. I was just askig God why. Why is this happening? This security lady came over to comfort me and began telling me how sorry she was and asked me if I had any family I could call. I called my sister and told her and she said she was on her way down. She lived in another city about 45 mins away. I was still on the ground just broken and this lady began to tell me that God would help me and give me the strength to go on. She asked me if I had any children, I told her I had a daughter, and she told me I needed to be strong for her. I wasn't trying to hear all that. My whole world was ripped right from under me. A couple of doctors and this lady helped me off the floor and the surgeon that came out , came out again and told me they would take me back to see her. They brought out a wheelchair and wheeled me back there and when they opened the door, my god I just saw them on top of her doing chest compressions and I was just screaming and then the surgeon is telling me I need to make a decision because everytime they do that, they are hurting her and he said, you don't want her to suffer anymore. I was just waiting on my sister4. I didn't want to make that call but I didn't want them pounding her chest in so I told them to stop. It killed in me inside. They wheeled me over to her and I just cried. My mom was only 60 years old and she had her whole life ahead of her and I don't understand why any of this happened. She was such a beautiful person and she had been a christian for 33 years. SHe loved the lord and she raised me and my siblings up in the church. I couldn't believe that she was gone because I had prayed and prayed and I just knew that God would spare her life. I lost my real father at the age of 16 and even then I didn't know him. I always had my mom and she remarried when I was 11 years old. She had been married for 19 years and my step father passed away in July of 2008. He was a sickly person and she took care of him and nursed him for all those years. He had diabetes, high blood pressure, prostate cancer, he was on dialysis for kidney failure, he had a four by pass surgery and he was in and out of the hospitals for years. She suffered so much seeing him suffer and taking care of him, he took what little strength she had. But because he was her husband she did all she could to help him and she loved him so much. So now all remains is just me and my siblings. It's hard because my mom was my best friend. I can't remember a time when she wasn't around. We did everything together and we lived together for years and I took care of her. I wanted so bad for her to be okay and to make it through surgery, I had been taught for years about the love of Jesus and I couldn't understand what he chose to take her away from her children and grandchildren. We had a two bedroom apartment and she had her room and my daughter and I shared a room. After she died, I went home that morning with my sister and I stayed over there for the remainder of the day. The whole day was just hurting, crying and calling the rest of the family. I felt so bad because my youngest brother, say youngest because he is the youngest of my 3 brothers, even though they are all older than me. He came to the hospital to see my mom but he thought she was still alive and the doctors didn't tell him, they let him in the room and she was already covered up and he walked in and was like, it's over ?? he couldn't believe it , he just broke down. One of the nurses that was in the OR called my sister and he was crying, apologizing to us because he thought my brother already knew. He told us how sorry he was. Now my family is broken, my mom was the rock that held us all together. We didn't have money growing up, we didn't have a lot of the finer things in life but we had love. She loved us like no one could. She did it all for her children and most importantly she taught us about God. She lived her life for Jesus, she would pray on a regular basis, read her bible daily, go to church often as she could and when things looked hopeless she took them to god in prayer. She prayed not only for her children, grandchildren and siblings but for people all over the world, she would pray for all the countries and for the sick and homeless and anyone she could pray for. She gave over the years endlessly to Trinity Broadcasting Network, Feed the children, CBN, David Terrell Ministries, Boys Town, Children International, Food For All and to so many others. Month after month, year after year she was giving. She taught us how to give and there were times when we would just make food and take it to the park to give to the homeless, bottled water, sandwiches, noodles, chicken or whatever we could. She would never turn down a person needing help or asking for spare change, she would give freely. She would tell me all the time, it's better to give than to receive and that god would bless me. So I began giving as well, I would call and donate and try to help whenever I could. My mom was also a big giver to the goodwill. Over the years we gave so much, and everytime they would ask if we wanted a donation paper for a tax write off she would say no. she didn't want that, she was giving freely and she didn't want anything in return. That's who she was, she was the person who would mentor you and talk to you about Jesus and how over the years he brought her and our family through so many trials and tribulations. SHe praised god for everything, for the good times and the bad. She used to always tell me to be thankful and to praise god. Now there were times when i was suffering so much and I didn't want to praise god, I wanted god to help me and at the time it seemed like he wasn't. My mom was always there to tell me baby, hold on.. give your burdens over to the lord and he will help you and supply all your needs. I realized that he did just that. I remember when she had surgery for the cancer and she was wondering why god allowed her to come down with that. It was hard for her because her faith was shaken then. She couldn't believe after she was faithful to him for so many years that he would allow her to suffer so horribly and there my sister and I were telling her that she would be okay, that God loved her still and he had not forsaken her and that he would bring her through this. She was so discouraged at the time but we would not let up. She couldn't believe this was her children mentoring and encouragiing her as she had done for us over the years. She told me, she was happy and she felt relieved that her living and everything she had taught us was not in vain. She was thankful to God that we were listening to her and by example we followed her footsteps. She began to get better and we thought she would be okay. My mom was a pure Christian, she didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, didn't curse. She would make you turn the tv channel if you were watching something that cursed. She loved her cowboys though. Her favorites were Bonanza, The rifle man, High Chapparal, Wagon Train, The Virginian and so many others. She also loved the old shows, the clean shows, the original dennis the menace, columbo, family affair, petticoat junction, I married joan, hawai five o, the streets of san francisco, i spy, murder she wrote, in the heat of the night, matlock, the big vally, dr quinn, little house on the prairie, family ties, good times, 227, what's happening, the jeffersons, the brady bunch and so many others. Her favorite game shows were The price is right, deal or no deal, let's make a deal, the newlywed game, match game and who wants to be a millionaire. I loved spending time with my mom, she was someone I could always talk to and she would never judge me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. She taught me how to carry myself as a lady and she taught me how to stand up for myself and I owe her so much. I felt like I let her down that night she was in the hospital and I told her she would be okay and that I would be waiting for her when she woke up but she never woke up. I felt that made me a liar. I had been taking care of my mom for months and I was preparing her meals, giving her medications on schedule and was taking her to her appointments and running errands for her. My mom had been weak for so long because before she found out she had cancer she was bleeding perfusely having vaginal bleeding and they made her very anemic. Before surgery she had 4 transfusions and then after surgery she had 2 more. She never got all her strength back and after she had the first surgery, she was too weak that they sent her to Ballard Rehabilitation and they were working on getting her strength back and getting her up and walking. She did so much better when she was in there and when she came home, they sent out a home health nurse, a physcialy therapist and an occupational therapist. They began doing exercises with her and the physical therapist thought it would benefit my mom to have some help with getting around. So she ordered her an walker , the kind that had a seat on it, she ordered her a wheel chair, a raised toilet seat with the rails and a shower chair and shower bench. So when my mom started walking more better she was using her walker all the time, it was helping her because she had the support to keep her from falling and when she got tired , she could just sit down. I did all I could to take care of her, on a daily basis. She was not strong enough to shower herself, so I bought the shower hose and I began to shower her daily, dress her and do everything for her but I loved her so much and I didn't care what I had to do, she was my mom. There were days when she thought she was a burden to me and she would tell me, that I work to hard and that she was sorry she was not able to do things for herself and i would immediately tell her to stop talking like that. I would tell her, she was my mom, I loved her and wanted to look after her and that she wasn't a burden on me. That she took care of me when I was little and over the years and now it was my turn to take care of her. She told me a couple weeks before she passed away , you said, you really stood by your mom, when all the others went on their way. you stood by your mom. She said, I don't know what I would have done with out you. She said I don't know how I would have made it and she said god is really going to bless you and he will remember everything you did for your mother. She told me how special I was and now that she is gone , I remember everything she ever told me. It has been so hard, going through all her things and seeing all the cards and letters she gave me over the years. Everybody keeps telling me it will get better but I don't see that happening. I can't go one day without crying for missing her so much. I am grateful because she is not in any more pain but I am hurting so badly without her. I have a big sister but we have never been that close, she seems to want to spend more time with me now but nobody could ever feel that empty space inside my heart for my mother. I recently moved in with my brother and I want so desperately for me and my daughter to be able to get a place of our own. It costs so much to pay for first and last months rent and I have this old 1994 car that has been giving me so much trouble and I am barely scraping along , just trying to make it. I would appreciate any help I am given. If anyone can find it in their heart to help me and my daughter move out and get our own place or simply help us with the day to day necessities, it would be greatly appreciated.

Help Us Start Over

Posted by openyourheart4me on 2012-04-14 13:58:55

My daughter and I are in need of finding a place of our own. These past couple months have been extremely hard because of the death of my mother. We were all living together and my mom was splitting the rent with me and I was working to take care of her. She was sick with Cancer and she had the operation and we all thought she was going to be okay. She did not recover like we expected and she ended up going in a Rehabilitation Center and we visited her often until she came home. I am the youngest of her children. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister and we are called the Berry 5. We were allways known as the Berry Family from the time we were little. My mom started to do better and we were so happy to have her home. It came time for her to Start Chemotherapy and Radiation. She was scared but I and my sister talked her into it because we knew the doctors had told us that she needed it because the cancer had spread to her lymp nodes and when they did the surgery they were not able to get everything. My mom had done one week of Radiation and she went in for one session of Chemo. The same day she had Chemo she seemed fine and then 2 days later she was having fevers, throwing up and so extremely weak. I thought it was because of the Chemo because that is what was explained to us. My concern was she couldn't keep anything down. I needed to give her medication for her Diabetes and High Blood Pressure but everytime I gave her anything, it all came up and so I was so scared because her blood sugar was high and I didn't want it to get any higher. She began to complain of stomach pain and I thought it was another side effect of the Chemo. For a couple days of her vomiting and having diarrhea, I was able to get some fluids down her and it seemed to stay. Little by little we both thought she was doing better. Her strength was not there though, it was difficult for her to even get up to go to the bathroom. The following day she continued to vomit and I was scared so I told her she needed to go to the hospital, because I felt that they could help her more. They could give her medications through an IV and they could find out why she was so weak and everything. She was scared and did not want to go but I convinced her. The ambulance came and took her to the hospital. I tried to follow her but I had to pick up my 11 year old daughter from school. I did go and they would not let me go back right away. I told them my mom had been brought in and they told me she wasn't checked in yet. About 20 minutes passed and I went back up to the window and they told me they would see if the doctor would let me back there and they were saying my daughter couldn't come back there because she wasn't 14, I told them she is only 11 years old and I'm not leaving her in the waiting room with strangers and that she was coming back there with me. They finally let us in and we went back to see my mom. I couldn't believe they had her hooked up to so many machines and she was on morphine and so out of it. I walked up to her and I said Ma, I'm here and she turned and looked at me. She was happy to see me, but then she told me that they told her, they found blood in her stools. I told her it was probably just do to her Hemorrhoids. but she said they told her it was positive for something. I asked her for what and she didn't know. I began looking for the doctor so I could ask questions but he wasn't around and everyone I talked to told me the doctor would be in soon to go over my mom's condition. I stayed with my mom, just holding her hand, telling her I loved her and that she was going to be okay. They came in to take her to have an ultrasound and my daughter and I waited. The doctor finally came in and told me that my mom had an abcess in her stomach that had burst. I said what are you talking about? He said that she had a condition called peridonitis and that the abcess burst and was releasing all this poison inside her stomach and her blood pressure was dropping dramatically. He then told me it was too dangerous for them to operate at that time because her INR level to to high. My mom had been taking Cumadin for a blood clot that she previously had and the cumadin made her INR level extremely high and her blood was not clotting so they said if they did surgery, she would bleed out. They said they needed to correct it by giving her lots of blood products and they gave her all kinds of strong antibiotics and blood and plasma. They were pumping so much stuff into her, I didn't know what to do. Her blood pressure was like 85/60 and then like 76/40 and it was getting lower and lower. They had her hooked up to so many IVs and then they told me that she was the sickest person they had in the ER. So many doctors and interns and students and nurses overcrowded my mom's room. I called my sister and told her what was going on and she came down to be with me and my daughter. They told us they would do all they could for my mom but that it didn't look good. I began to pray, my mom had always taught me to pray and give things over to god. As the night went on, they decided to put an IV in my moms neck, they said it was more direct and if and when she went to surgery it would be better to have that in place. They made us leave the room and they had like 10 people in there with there machines and cameras and equipment to help guide them where to put the IV at. I had never gone through this before and I was so scared but I was keeping my faith. One doctor wanted to talk to me and my sister alone and I didn't want to hear him telling me anything negative. He asked us a lot of questions concerning my mom's health and history. He then told us that she was in acute renal failure and that her colon was damaged where the abcess bursts and fecal was being released into her abdomen. This is the last thing I wanted to hear. I asked him if they could fix it, he said they would do all they could but that their main focus was trying to bring her INR levels down because they were dangerously high. She was also anemic and that is why she was so weak, her blood level was extremely low. They were continuously giving her blood products, antibiotics and plasma. My sister decided to take my daughter home with her. I told her I would call her when I knew when they were going to do surgery. The surgeon had spoken to us and said that it was a good chance, and that operating was her only chance and once her blood level was corrected that they would go in and repair the damage. I felt some what relieved but as the night went on she was in a fight for her life. The main doctor working on my mom's case came and told me that her breathing was not getting any better and that he needed to put her to sleep so he could intubate her and put a breathing tube down her throat. He said it would be good to have anyways so that she would be ready when they went to surgery. There was nothing I could do except walk out of the room and wait. I continued to pray and wait and pray and wait. Hours went by and I would walk and peek inside the room and see my mom's blood pressure increasing some, this gave me hope but then the doctor would come and tell me it wasn't looking like she was improving and that we needed to prepare that she might not make it through the night. i couldn't believe what he was telling me. I called my sister and my brother and told them , they were praying as well. I didn't know who to listen to, one doctor is telling me it's hopeless and the surgeon is telling me it's a good chance she would be okay once taken to surgery. I sat in the hall because they wouldn't let me back in and they stayed with her at all times, monitoring her and giving her medicine and all the blood and stuff back to back. Then they came out in the hall and told me they were ready to take her to surgery. They said she might not hear you but you can still talk to her. I walked up to her lying there, so still and I told her how much I loved her and i told her to fight and that we would do it togther and that I would be here when she woke up and that I was not leaving her. The surgeon put me in the OR waiting room. I was all alone in there by myself. I waited and waited and only 20 mins went by and a security guard told me there was a cafe there and if I wanted to go grab a cup of coffee that I could. I went downstairs and got the coffee, as soon as I reached the OR floor I saw the surgeon standing there, he walked over to me and he said, I'm sorry but your mom's heart stopped during surgery and we revived her but then it stopped again and he said I don't we can get it back. My whole world just crumbled, I began screaming and crying and I fell to the floor. I was just askig God why. Why is this happening? This security lady came over to comfort me and began telling me how sorry she was and asked me if I had any family I could call. I called my sister and told her and she said she was on her way down. She lived in another city about 45 mins away. I was still on the ground just broken and this lady began to tell me that God would help me and give me the strength to go on. She asked me if I had any children, I told her I had a daughter, and she told me I needed to be strong for her. I wasn't trying to hear all that. My whole world was ripped right from under me. A couple of doctors and this lady helped me off the floor and the surgeon that came out , came out again and told me they would take me back to see her. They brought out a wheelchair and wheeled me back there and when they opened the door, my god I just saw them on top of her doing chest compressions and I was just screaming and then the surgeon is telling me I need to make a decision because everytime they do that, they are hurting her and he said, you don't want her to suffer anymore. I was just waiting on my sister4. I didn't want to make that call but I didn't want them pounding her chest in so I told them to stop. It killed in me inside. They wheeled me over to her and I just cried. My mom was only 60 years old and she had her whole life ahead of her and I don't understand why any of this happened. She was such a beautiful person and she had been a christian for 33 years. SHe loved the lord and she raised me and my siblings up in the church. I couldn't believe that she was gone because I had prayed and prayed and I just knew that God would spare her life. I lost my real father at the age of 16 and even then I didn't know him. I always had my mom and she remarried when I was 11 years old. She had been married for 19 years and my step father passed away in July of 2008. He was a sickly person and she took care of him and nursed him for all those years. He had diabetes, high blood pressure, prostate cancer, he was on dialysis for kidney failure, he had a four by pass surgery and he was in and out of the hospitals for years. She suffered so much seeing him suffer and taking care of him, he took what little strength she had. But because he was her husband she did all she could to help him and she loved him so much. So now all remains is just me and my siblings. It's hard because my mom was my best friend. I can't remember a time when she wasn't around. We did everything together and we lived together for years and I took care of her. I wanted so bad for her to be okay and to make it through surgery, I had been taught for years about the love of Jesus and I couldn't understand what he chose to take her away from her children and grandchildren. We had a two bedroom apartment and she had her room and my daughter and I shared a room. After she died, I went home that morning with my sister and I stayed over there for the remainder of the day. The whole day was just hurting, crying and calling the rest of the family. I felt so bad because my youngest brother, say youngest because he is the youngest of my 3 brothers, even though they are all older than me. He came to the hospital to see my mom but he thought she was still alive and the doctors didn't tell him, they let him in the room and she was already covered up and he walked in and was like, it's over ?? he couldn't believe it , he just broke down. One of the nurses that was in the OR called my sister and he was crying, apologizing to us because he thought my brother already knew. He told us how sorry he was. Now my family is broken, my mom was the rock that held us all together. We didn't have money growing up, we didn't have a lot of the finer things in life but we had love. She loved us like no one could. She did it all for her children and most importantly she taught us about God. She lived her life for Jesus, she would pray on a regular basis, read her bible daily, go to church often as she could and when things looked hopeless she took them to god in prayer. She prayed not only for her children, grandchildren and siblings but for people all over the world, she would pray for all the countries and for the sick and homeless and anyone she could pray for. She gave over the years endlessly to Trinity Broadcasting Network, Feed the children, CBN, David Terrell Ministries, Boys Town, Children International, Food For All and to so many others. Month after month, year after year she was giving. She taught us how to give and there were times when we would just make food and take it to the park to give to the homeless, bottled water, sandwiches, noodles, chicken or whatever we could. She would never turn down a person needing help or asking for spare change, she would give freely. She would tell me all the time, it's better to give than to receive and that god would bless me. So I began giving as well, I would call and donate and try to help whenever I could. My mom was also a big giver to the goodwill. Over the years we gave so much, and everytime they would ask if we wanted a donation paper for a tax write off she would say no. she didn't want that, she was giving freely and she didn't want anything in return. That's who she was, she was the person who would mentor you and talk to you about Jesus and how over the years he brought her and our family through so many trials and tribulations. SHe praised god for everything, for the good times and the bad. She used to always tell me to be thankful and to praise god. Now there were times when i was suffering so much and I didn't want to praise god, I wanted god to help me and at the time it seemed like he wasn't. My mom was always there to tell me baby, hold on.. give your burdens over to the lord and he will help you and supply all your needs. I realized that he did just that. I remember when she had surgery for the cancer and she was wondering why god allowed her to come down with that. It was hard for her because her faith was shaken then. She couldn't believe after she was faithful to him for so many years that he would allow her to suffer so horribly and there my sister and I were telling her that she would be okay, that God loved her still and he had not forsaken her and that he would bring her through this. She was so discouraged at the time but we would not let up. She couldn't believe this was her children mentoring and encouragiing her as she had done for us over the years. She told me, she was happy and she felt relieved that her living and everything she had taught us was not in vain. She was thankful to God that we were listening to her and by example we followed her footsteps. She began to get better and we thought she would be okay. My mom was a pure Christian, she didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, didn't curse. She would make you turn the tv channel if you were watching something that cursed. She loved her cowboys though. Her favorites were Bonanza, The rifle man, High Chapparal, Wagon Train, The Virginian and so many others. She also loved the old shows, the clean shows, the original dennis the menace, columbo, family affair, petticoat junction, I married joan, hawai five o, the streets of san francisco, i spy, murder she wrote, in the heat of the night, matlock, the big vally, dr quinn, little house on the prairie, family ties, good times, 227, what's happening, the jeffersons, the brady bunch and so many others. Her favorite game shows were The price is right, deal or no deal, let's make a deal, the newlywed game, match game and who wants to be a millionaire. I loved spending time with my mom, she was someone I could always talk to and she would never judge me, she would tell me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. She taught me how to carry myself as a lady and she taught me how to stand up for myself and I owe her so much. I felt like I let her down that night she was in the hospital and I told her she would be okay and that I would be waiting for her when she woke up but she never woke up. I felt that made me a liar. I had been taking care of my mom for months and I was preparing her meals, giving her medications on schedule and was taking her to her appointments and running errands for her. My mom had been weak for so long because before she found out she had cancer she was bleeding perfusely having vaginal bleeding and they made her very anemic. Before surgery she had 4 transfusions and then after surgery she had 2 more. She never got all her strength back and after she had the first surgery, she was too weak that they sent her to Ballard Rehabilitation and they were working on getting her strength back and getting her up and walking. She did so much better when she was in there and when she came home, they sent out a home health nurse, a physcialy therapist and an occupational therapist. They began doing exercises with her and the physical therapist thought it would benefit my mom to have some help with getting around. So she ordered her an walker , the kind that had a seat on it, she ordered her a wheel chair, a raised toilet seat with the rails and a shower chair and shower bench. So when my mom started walking more better she was using her walker all the time, it was helping her because she had the support to keep her from falling and when she got tired , she could just sit down. I did all I could to take care of her, on a daily basis. She was not strong enough to shower herself, so I bought the shower hose and I began to shower her daily, dress her and do everything for her but I loved her so much and I didn't care what I had to do, she was my mom. There were days when she thought she was a burden to me and she would tell me, that I work to hard and that she was sorry she was not able to do things for herself and i would immediately tell her to stop talking like that. I would tell her, she was my mom, I loved her and wanted to look after her and that she wasn't a burden on me. That she took care of me when I was little and over the years and now it was my turn to take care of her. She told me a couple weeks before she passed away , you said, you really stood by your mom, when all the others went on their way. you stood by your mom. She said, I don't know what I would have done with out you. She said I don't know how I would have made it and she said god is really going to bless you and he will remember everything you did for your mother. She told me how special I was and now that she is gone , I remember everything she ever told me. It has been so hard, going through all her things and seeing all the cards and letters she gave me over the years. Everybody keeps telling me it will get better but I don't see that happening. I can't go one day without crying for missing her so much. I am grateful because she is not in any more pain but I am hurting so badly without her. I have a big sister but we have never been that close, she seems to want to spend more time with me now but nobody could ever feel that empty space inside my heart for my mother. I recently moved in with my brother and I want so desperately for me and my daughter to be able to get a place of our own. It costs so much to pay for first and last months rent and I have this old 1994 car that has been giving me so much trouble and I am barely scraping along , just trying to make it. I would appreciate any help I am given. If anyone can find it in their heart to help me and my daughter move out and get our own place or simply help us with the day to day necessities, it would be greatly appreciated.

alzheimers shock

Posted by POSITIVITY on 2012-03-31 10:58:52

I live in a third world country and I have done well for myself. I was working on a project that came to an end in November 2012. I have not been employed since. I am a single mother and live with my mother and three children. Because my past job required a lot of travel I opened a joint account with my mother so that when I am away she has access to moneys for the kids. I noticed a few years ago after my father’s death that my mother started forgetting a lot and repeats herself but I just thought to myself it was old age and our doctor stated it was a bit of depression.
But it escalated. I was shocked that while away working one of my kids called to say they have no money. I asked my mom what was going on as I left over EC $20,000 in the account. Upon trying to get clarification I realized my mom was sounding crazy. She began crying and abusing me on the phone saying that I am accusing her of thieving my money after all she does for me. All I was trying to do was understand what had happened to the money so I did sound a bit stern and upset with her. Subsequently my mom’s behavior worsened and she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, which she has not and does not accept. She hates me for it and blames me for the doctor’s diagnosis.
Since the contract ended we have been surviving on some of my personal savings from another account. I have been job hunting in my country and tried looking for work from home opportunities online. I started writing a novel also to see if I can sell it online. Because of my qualifications and education I never thought I would find myself in such a situation and tried all I could before deciding to try this. I don’t know how I am going to pay the bills or provide food anymore as my money finishes at the end of this month and although I am a Christian and I should have faith. I find myself being very very scared. I try not to let my children know what’s going on. They know our lifestyle has changed but they don’t know the seriousness. They are bright and intelligent and I will not want them to be affected. I thank you in advance for the help you will give me.

Rock Bottom

Posted by POSITIVITY on 2012-03-31 09:58:09

Dealing with the Shock loss of finances due to my moms alzeihmers condition