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Steven: An Aspiring Disabled, Student, Veteran, and Divorcee

Posted by youngidealist on 2012-03-05 01:58:00

Hi.

Thanks for taking the time to read my request. I'm 30 years old, still in college and living with my parents. I've made a lot of great accomplishments in my life with far less support than most people who make it this far. Of course, with that said I've also made plenty of mistakes.

I grew up with a single parent, and another parent who visited annually just to stir up emotions and make my life miserable. When I was 18, I decided to work really hard to lose weight so that I could join the US Air Force. I had a strict plan that I was going to follow to succeed in life.

Unfortunately my superiors in the USAF would not accommodate that plan to independence as they forced me to find my own way from the barracks to work (a 40 mi drive), so I had to immediately struggle to get my drivers licence and I had to buy a car on an Airman's paygrade.

My income wasn't enough to afford the car and gas and other living needs that I was expected to pay, so eventually I had to leave the Air Force before my term was up (under honorable conditions). I tried to work as a civilian. The transfer was tough and I was vastly uninformed about what to do and what my options were. I'm the first first generation college student of my extended family.

After some petty jobs that would each take more than 10 years to be able to earn enough to live independently, I finally found a nice nighttime custodian job that was at least simple enough for that kind of pay. I was the night time custodian, but I was also a guy to have on call at this retirement home where I worked. If people's toilets flooded or a nearly deaf resident left their tv on past quiet hours (once I could hear one through 3 floors!) I was the guy to send up to fix it.

Having my first satisfying job as a civilian, I was able to investigate community college during the day, so eventually I enrolled and tried taking a few classes while working full-time. College was my saving grace. I never felt like I belonged anywhere until I first started to take college courses in math, science, and philosophy. I found the tutoring lounge on campus, made a lot of friends there, and I spent many hours cramming and helping those in need.

This soon led to me finding financial aid, making arrangements with my parents (my mom and my stepfather) to let me go to school full-time while I lived with them, and putting in my 2 weeks notice at work to focus exclusively on school.

My counselors advised that I pick where I want to transfer to and then figure out the details of how to get there after I got accepted. I think this was bad advice. While I ended up choosing to transfer to a university that had my desired major, Biophysics, it was 60 miles away from where my parents lived. My car that I had bought when I was in the Air Force also eventually broke down from not being able to afford maintenance while I worked, and was towed away for being in the public street for too long.

Finally, I got accepted to UC San Diego to work towards a degree in Physics with a specialty in Biophysics. When it came time to transfer, I got as involved as I could on how and when I was supposed to receive the financial aid so that I could go get an apartment and everything, and my school kept telling me, "you should get it tomorrow" until about 2 weeks into my first quarter when I finally got the support.

Despite this rocky start, I managed to get into a good shape for myself, making my way slowly but surely through school. Learning a great deal. Eventually when I felt the struggle was too difficult, I changed my major to Neuroscience before I began my upper division coursework.

So, as I settled into my schooling and struggled with maintaining financial independence on financial aid, I managed to get myself into maintaining a great aquarium hobby, owned two great little kittens from a street cat program, led as president of a student organization for one year, and eventually I got married. I also carefully learned about the stock market and managed to make some great gains with money that I had invested from financial aid savings.

In 2010, my gains were over 100%. That amounted to $2000 doubling itself, but still, that says a lot about me as a trader. However, 6 months into my marriage, she said she wanted out, grabbed the car that we both paid into (most of the money was mine from stocks; $5500 worth), and refused to pay her share of 2 months rent. That happened in December of the year of 2010.

2011 was a difficult year for me. I fought hard to maintain things, especially my head, but it was tough. I lost 45 lbs from exercising regularly, made lots of new friends, and I got some volunteer work experience in a Neuroscience lab. But I just couldn't focus well enough to maintain my finances and my grades, so I had to drop out and live back with my parents.

Despite how tough it's been, not finding work, struggling with the ins and outs of the VA, and just needing a professional therapist to talk to and help me keep my head straight but never being able to get one, I've managed to recuperate well enough and learn a lot more about this bottom floor of society that I've been so desperately trying to escape my whole life.

I've gone looking for opportunity in every direction. I've tried changing my career goals, collecting recyclables, writing online, trying any online scheme that didn't include me forking out money to get it, imagining what I could write as a novel, tried to make money through playing video games, making goal after goal after goal for myself, but still just not being able to get just the right amount of money to put me back on my feet.

I'll be going back to school in April at the risk of having to do it as a homeless person if the VA doesn't pull through for me. They recently approved my 10% service connected disability status and now I need to jump over a few more hurdles to get my more significant service connected disabilities recognized. I'm also seeing what the vocational rehab people can do for me despite the bureaucratic issues that are stopping them from helping me all the way.

BTW, this whole time that I've gone through life with common lower class difficulties, I've been disabled with a number of small conditions that all add up to a hard time. I have lower back issues that the military has yet to own up to. Community college found also that I have a learning disability which makes some intellectual tasks show up as lower than average ability for me while the rest of my intellect is high enough to expect that I could easily get a Masters Degree or a PhD. My biggest difficulty in school is that they don't give me enough time to show them what I know or what I'm capable of.

From working with special needs students as a tutor, I have proven to myself that there is a major problem in the education system. Most teachers never simplify the material into a clear picture of what they want to teach. If you want someone to learn something, the last thing you should be fuzzy on is what it is exactly that you want them to learn. We can't all work like intuitive Jedi or sophisticated parrots.

If you help me out, here is a list of the priorities of what your money will go towards, in order of their priority If you would like to request that I spend your donation on a specific cause, please let me know:

1. A working cheap economic vehicle.
I need something that I can sleep in and that will take me wherever I need to go. Preferably something that can stow quite a few recyclables as well to pay for gas, but not an SUV or truck or van (Unless that's all that is cheap of course. Not likely but you never know.).
I'll aim for great gas mileage, but I'm thinking that I should attend some police car auctions to see what the cheapest deal I can find is. This car would make a great shelter for me while I return to my far away school.

2. Investing on the stock market.
Trust me, I know how to fish. If you want to send me a request for proof I'd be glad to compose some evidence of my finest moments as well as my worst to show you that I can do well for myself on the stock market, even during the recession. What I could really use right now, is a little bait. Trading is good money for me, but to make enough to make gains worth more than the commission cost (about $10), you need about $300-1000 per investment. $300 is more for the high risk lottery plays on the market. I even made a blog about it if you would like to see:
http://www.squidoo.com/TheYoungidealistEconomyBlog
If you are willing, we can arrange something personal so that you wont need to worry about me putting the money you offer at high risk and blow it all. Might even be able to arrange something where I could make money for you to prove myself before accepting your donation. Whatever the case, I know we'd have to make it a personal arrangement to satisfy the current laws.

3. Working towards paying my debts to my friends.
My friends have been really supportive through these hard times, though they are starving students themselves. To keep up my morale they've bought me food, given me a place to crash when they could, and even paid to have me join them at fun local events. I have some money that I've promised them back, and I plan on making due on those promises as soon as possible.

4. Paying off my debts with companies.
I've had times where I couldn't afford to pay for rent and had to leave, like when my wife left me to live with her parents. These issues follow me on my credit score and I would like to work towards removing them so that I can turn my life around.

5. Getting a good start towards paying off my student loans.
I know I won't be able to pay them off before I find a good career with my degree. I would just like to have something to start making some automatic payments with and put that part of my bad credit score behind me as well.

6. Buying a home.
My mom never owned a home. No offense meant to land lords out there, but I really think the rental system is way out of line. My mom was always a hard worker. Way better than me, yet she could never own a home because she didn't have the money. Meanwhile, people with money could live in great big houses for less than she even had to pay.
I want a house to own. Probably start with a condo and seek ways to improve it and flip a profit out of it. Then I want to keep building up money from housing until I can manage to build an apartment building.
If I could, I'd like to make an apartment building near a university that offers cheap housing using the Japanese capsule model or something even more economic and more comfortable.

7. Making an online tutoring site meant to offer free tutoring and tutoring for tips. Imagine a site (I have yet to know of one) where people can collect their resources on a class, much like they collect info on ratemyprofessor.com, but also seek help from others who are taking the class or who have taken the class. Donors like you can offer money to tutors who post their notes and stories on the site, alongside ratings from other students that they helped.
Some tutors can offer their rates for help, sell their notes online for cheap, or just offer their help whenever they can and ask to be tipped through paypal if someone likes their work. My hope is that such a site could help to put an end to sophistry in the college system once and for all, making education easy and affordable for everyone.

8. After I have everything I'm hoping for above, the sky is the limit. But I would prefer to put the extra money that I don't need to good uses. I would spread a little philanthropy around, give to others in need on this site and through other resources.
I'd also look to teach others how to fish. I think a great way for the economy to be fixed would be if philanthropists made some really good employee owned companies. Make the place pay for itself, skim a little off the top, and walk away knowing that you really were a job creator.
I think that everyone who is capable of work and who chooses to work deserves to have their own independent living situation. I know that we are a long way from that, but I tend to be an optimist. I would like to try and make the world a better place, if nothing else.

Aside form financial help, I'm interested in anything else that I could get that's useful. Advice, Neuroscience Career connections, work, hobby or volunteer work that can easily become lucrative, I'm really all ears. Thanks again for taking the time to read my request. I hope you find it in you to help me out, even get to know me if you'd like. Bet you $5000 I can make you laugh. Did I win? >;) it was worth a try anyway.

Please help me!

Posted by jmcleod on 2012-01-22 14:58:11

I am a single parent of two wonderful boys ages 8 and 1. My oldest son father was murdered so he never got a chance to know his father at all. I spend my time being a mother and father to my children and I would to try to provide for them. I have both of them in daycare and I received the bill for their care as I am billed annually and it is $2,885 of which I cant afford. I dont want to have to quit my job as it is the only source of income for me... I so desperately need for someone to be understanding of my situation and be willing to lend a helping hand. I know someone is out there. Thanks in advance and God Bless.

Help with Childcare

Posted by jmcleod on 2012-01-20 18:58:11

I am a single parent to two boys one 8 and a 1 year old. I work full time and I go to school in pursuit of my associate degree in human services. I just received my daycare bill from my provider who allows for me to pay for daycare annually and it is $2,885 of which I cant afford. Daycare wasn't as much when I only had one child going. My oldest son father is deceased and my youngest son father has no involvement. I am in jeopardy of losing my job if I dont receive help. My youngest son is sickly with asthma and has undergone plastic surgery for a growth on his face. I am at my wits end I dont want to give up in life I have dreams I just need a helping hand.

cc

Posted by serena on 2011-12-08 06:58:01

Hello, I am the owner of a small company that makes handcrafted body products: Body butter, Lotion, Lip balm, Soaps for various skin types, bath salts/scrubs, etc. My company consists of two other people and myself. To meet our customers demands, $10,000 is needed for all aspects of the business.
Raw Materials: $2,000
Packaging: $2,000
Software (Adobe Suite): $350
Web Hosting: $600 annually
Labels/Marketing: $2,000
Laptop w/Windows 7: $1,000
Vehicle for drop off and P/U: $2,000
Making homemade body products is a passion of mine and I want to expand so that everyone can enjoy healthier skin. Any and all donations are greatly appreciated and I will forever remember how I was able to continue my small business. Free samples are available if requested. Thank You very much!

Handcrafted Body Products Company

Posted by Ajunki33 on 2011-12-03 21:58:28

Hello, I am the owner of a small company that makes handcrafted body products: Body butter, Lotion, Lip balm, Soaps for various skin types, bath salts/scrubs, etc. My company consists of two other people and myself. To meet our customers demands, $10,000 is needed for all aspects of the business.
Raw Materials: $2,000
Packaging: $2,000
Software (Adobe Suite): $350
Web Hosting: $600 annually
Labels/Marketing: $2,000
Laptop w/Windows 7: $1,000
Vehicle for drop off and P/U: $2,000
Making homemade body products is a passion of mine and I want to expand so that everyone can enjoy healthier skin. Any and all donations are greatly appreciated and I will forever remember how I was able to continue my small business. Free samples are available if requested. Thank You very much!

mortgage

Posted by msprint on 2011-04-28 18:58:40

I am Cindi and I live in Alabama. I have one child. I have a job. The insurance on my home went up over $3,000. annually, due to the past storms, which made my mortgage unaffordable now. I have my house on the market with prudential, because I need to get rid of it. I don't want to foreclose on it. I would just rather get rid of it. I need $1,600.00 to help me for 3 months and hopefully my house will be sold by then, because I am not upside down in my mortgage and I am only asking for pay off and real estate person's cut. Please, help me avoid foreclosure. My address is 3876 Hawthorne Drive, Mobile, AL 36693

Please Help Me!

Posted by lindabaker on 2011-04-04 17:58:35

NW-COLUMBUS, OH

I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.

I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.

When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.

It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.

But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.

It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.

So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.

However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.

I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.

So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.

Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.

Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.

If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.

Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.

Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!

Sincerely,
Linda

Desperate to Escape Abusive Husband!

Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:19

NW-COLUMBUS, OH

I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.

I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.

When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.

It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.

But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.

It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.

So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.

However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.

I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.

So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.

Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.

Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.

If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.

Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.

Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!

Sincerely,
Jamie

Desperate to Escape Abusive Husband!

Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:17

NW-COLUMBUS, OH

I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.

I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.

When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.

It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.

But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.

It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.

So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.

However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.

I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.

So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.

Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.

Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.

If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.

Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.

Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!

Sincerely,
Jamie

Desperate to Escape Abusive Husband

Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:16

NW-COLUMBUS, OH

I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.

I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.

When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.

It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.

But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.

It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.

So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.

However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.

I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.

So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.

Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.

Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.

If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.

Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.

Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!

Sincerely,
Jamie

Desperate to get Away from Abusive Husband!

Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:13

NW-COLUMBUS, OH

I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.

I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.

When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.

It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.

But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.

It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.

So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.

However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.

I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.

So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.

Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.

Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.

If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.

Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.

Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!

Sincerely,
Jamie

Desperate to Get Away from my Abusive Husband

Posted by jamie-needshelp on 2011-03-19 22:58:10

NW-COLUMBUS, OH

I am a 27 year old woman who has been hopelessly stuck in an unbearably abusive relationship for 6 years now.

I was only 21 when I met my husband. I was a college student struggling to make ends meet on my own. Ive never had much in the way of familial support, my mother is an abusive alcoholic and my father left when I was 8. Therefore I held a full time job the entire time I was in school. It was a big accomplishment for me, but it was rough.

When my husband came along he seemed like the perfect guy. He was wonderful, funny, sweet, generous, smart, kind, he was easy to fall in love with. After only a few months we moved in together and he proposed on our one year anniversary. I put school on hold and quit my job to help him get his business off the ground, thinking, at the time since his earning potential was so much higher than mine, that it just made sense for us as a couple and a team.

It didn't take long though for him to change. He quickly became distant, depressed, violent and moody for no apparent reason. He began drinking in excess and popping pills frequently, lashing out at me over nothing, lying, hiding things and cheating. My happily ever after was now a living hell! Every time Id get fed up enough to leave he'd cry, apologize very sincerely and beg me to stay, promising he would change and admitting how wrong it was for him to treat me that way. When that stopped working he started trying to bully and control me, threatening me, emotionally manipulating me and being physically aggressive & abusive with me. My husband is 7 years my elder so at first I suppose I was naive and easy to manipulate...Because I believed him and loved him I stayed.

But by year three I had, had it with the abuse and no longer believed him when he promised to change, I now knew better. Unfortunately I didnt have a parent or family member I could go to for help. Therefore my options were to either be homeless or to stay with him until I was financially able to be on my own. So I decided to make a plan to leave him. I had worked on and off in the Real Estate industry since my college years and so I went out and got an entry level job in that field and opened up my own bank account so that I could put money aside to pay off my large amount of debts (over $45,000 in student loans, car, credit card, etc) and move out on my own.

It was hard putting money aside without him noticing, I could only use commission and bonus checks that he didnt know about to put in savings. After a year I had only managed to save just over $6000, which barely made a dent in my student loan debts, much less allowing me to pay off the others.

So I began searching for a better job. After about a dozen interviews I finally landed an assistant manager position in a leasing office at a property owned by the city that paid better and was more in line with my capabilities. The position required me to work in a very dangerous part of town. I was dealing with drug dealers, murders, and other various felons on a daily basis, having my life threatened and irate residents screaming in my face wasnt an abnormal occurrence! But I was so determined to get away from my husband that I stuck it out. In just under a year I was promoted to Property Manager after the previous one had quit. I was elated! Finally I would be making enough to get my own place. I worked from 9am to 9pm most days since we were understaffed. I never went home until everything was taken care of. I gave 200%, going above and beyond to make my property the best it could be. I often received compliments from my superiors and the owner of the company on my job performance as well.

However before I was able to move out, things took a terrible turn. About four months into my new position, the company had hired a new person to be my superior. Unfortunately for me this person, now being in a new position of power, decided that they wanted to give all their friends from their previous company jobs. Since there were no openings available they decided to terminate current employees in order to make positions for their friends. I was one of those people! I remember the day so vividly in my head, being told they were letting me go. I just kept asking why? Id never once done anything wrong, I got complimented on my work performance frequently and even the residents who used to hate me, now loved me! My new boss and the companys owner agreed, Id done nothing wrong and offered me severance pay. But I didnt need severance pay, I needed a job! I was devastated. I had come SO close I could taste it, just to have it all ripped away like a cruel joke of fate. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. The thought of having to start over again with a new company from square one, the thought of staying with my husband another day was unbearable. I couldnt understand why this was happening to me, Id worked SO hard and after more than 2 years, gotten no closer to getting away from him.

I tried to find a replacement job with equal pay right away with no luck. By now the economy was very bad and good job offers were few and far between. Employers could afford to be picky, and people with three times my experience were applying for the same jobs. I decided to meet with an employment lawyer to see what options I had about my situation with my previous employer. He agreed my termination was wrongful and thought I had a solid case, to at the very least, get a larger severance. But he also informed me that while I had been wrongfully terminated, in the state of Ohio, employment is at will and therefore employers are allowed to fire you for no reason, as long as they dont discriminate against you! He preceeded with legal action confident that they would agree to work something more reasonalbe out, but things did not go as hoped.

So here I am. Six years into an abusive relationship that Ive been trying to escape for three! Ive now been unemployed for 8 months. Aside from the bad economy, the fact that I have taken legal against an employer and no reference from that employer due to filing a complaint against them, has made me practically un-hirable in my field. Ive tried interviewing for other jobs, but I either dont have the experience or they dont pay even half of what Id need to take care of myself. Ive thought about going back to school, but, again money becomes an issue. Ive done the math and I simply cant afford it. Ive spoken with divorce lawyers and since I have no children and have worked during my marriage, a divorce wont render anything in the way of financial support.

Ive exhausted every option I can think of and need help desperately!!! At this point my life is like walking a tight rope, trying not to do anything or say anything to set him off. Even so, his volitle moods and angry outburst are a daily occurrence. Im terrified and feel very hopeless. Ive had to spend almost everything I was able to save while employed, since being unemployed and am now down to almost nothing. I cant get welfare or go to an abused womens shelter because I have no children. I have nowhere to go and no one who can help me. I dont want to be homeless, but I am afraid if I stay Im going to end up dead.

Ive never in my life asked anyone for a handout. Ive always had to be very independent and self reliant. Im a good person, and am the first to help others when they need it. I am smart, loyal, talented, trustworthy, compassionate and moral. And I dont deserve to be in this situation. Ive never been one to complain about my problems. I always thought, where theres a will, theres a way, and that if I worked hard enough I would get where I wanted to be. But Ive fought tooth and nail trying to get out of this hell Ive been trapped in for years now to no avail.

If anyone out there is in a position to help me, I would be eternally grateful. Unlike most other people, going home to live with mom & dad until I get back on feet just isnt an option for me. I NEED MONEY and I need it NOW. I either need a steady, stable job paying at least $60000 annually or enough money to support myself while I finish my college degree. My current debts (student loans, car, credit card & medical bills) total just under $40000!!! I pay $1800 cumulatively toward these debts alone per month. Add in a VERY modest budget of $2500 for the cost of living (rent, utilities, phone, food, gas, toiletries and other necessities like car maintenance, insurance, dog care expenses, etc) and I absolutely cannot live on less than $60000 annually, and even that will be very tight, considering how much taxes get taken out.

Ideally I would love to work with animals, and given the time and money I would love to go into Veterinary Medicine one day. Im also very interested in holistic health, both for animals and people, specifically, holistic nutrition, herbal medicine and holistic treatment of illness, afflictions and diseases. I dont have any job experience in these fields, but I am very knowledgeable in them through my own experiences and research. And I have a love of animals that would be hard to surpass. Im a very eager and fast learner. I have tons of experience doing just about everything office related; Im good with computers and different types of software and have experience managing a small staff. I have great leadership skills, am very organized and give much attention to details. I am a night person by nature, so early morning jobs can be difficult for me if there is a hard start time. I work best in less rigid environments, with more flexible hours. Please dont get the wrong impression however! I am a very diligent and reliable worker, and will always do my job efficiently. I have so much to offer and could be doing so much more with my life if given the chance.

Any job opportunities or cash donations would be greatly appreciated! Please help me to finally break free of this misery Ive been living in. I could never thank you enough!

Sincerely,
Jamie