Amazed Tags

I'm a single mother aged 35. I've lived in California for almost 14 years ( it will be 15 this year on memorial day weekend.)
I’m going to be a little blunt, because I'm tired and I want to give up so bad, but I can't. I'm better than that and my kids are my motivator. I wake up everyday and remind myself of 2 things :1) Faith is what you have when you all your beliefs are blown to hell. 2) What doesn't kill you makes you stronger -Nietzsche

I am a 35 year old educated, ambitious, head strong woman. I have owned my own business with my soon to be ex. I know what hard work and determination are. I went to private school and I am educated. I value my community and have always given back and will continue to do so. I also know that I have the drive and determination to get myself back on track. I'm not ASKING for a handout, I'm asking for help up! I also know what loss is. I don't have the business, a house or EVEN the car anymore. We lost everything. He bounced back , I didn’t. All I have is HOPE, that someone or some program can help me carve a path back to self sufficiency.
It's gone continually downhill.I am amazed at the allotment of programs for both housing and employment for all different walks of life. However, what about those that are just struggling. No hang ups, no record, just struggling and are LOW INCOME. I'm not writing this to make you feel sorry, I'm writing this because I have exhausted possibilities that I have researched both on my own or been given the information to do the work with.
There are people who struggle everyday through no fault of their own. They don't want a hand out, but help up would be a relief. Society doesn't need band-aids they need solutions.
Not every county, city or state program fits everyone's needs.
First of all Section 8 has been closed since BEFORE I left my marriage so that idea could never work. The list has been closed for years. Because I have limited time with my children, I do not qualify for CALWORKS. I have tried getting assistance in every way possible. I had very little unemployment left since I have been struggling to find work. I was delayed for about 3 months because they needed verification and I had to appeal and request a hearing. I have won my appeal but will only receive $91/week and for a short period of time.
I took a project management class through WIA in 2011, and I was able to get CTB benefits. I NEED HELP. I have hit the absolute worst point in my life and still refuse to give up. I have been looking for work and am now HOMELESS.I am in week 3 of staying in an extended stay hotel (paid for by my mother back east, who makes maybe $26,000/yr in PA) I recently sold my car because I needed to pay bills and rent. I have maybe $75 to my name.
The fact that they say there are services for low income/ homeless is frustrating. I say this because there is no category for me. I'm not a drug addict or in recovery. I don't have a mental illness. I wasn't in prison, I don’t' even have a RECORD. I can proudly say I've never been arrested or even in the back of a cop car. I'm not a victim of domestic violence and I do not beat my kids. Why aren't there programs in place for single parents struggling to make it? Everyday people that are responsible and respectable. I understand the need to assist those that may not have the capacity to take care of themselves. However, I have a huge problem with the fact that Santa Clara County & all programs (private, govt or state funded) will rehabilitate and reintroduced felons into the community, but if you're poor, homeless, no record, are looking for work, have high intelligence; sorry, you can't get help. This sounds extremely cynical and jaded, but I am a little after going through all I have.
I have been told constantly “I wish I could do something but we don't have any programs to help you.” My favorite reply is: "Yeah and you have done everything. I'm surprised you even knew about all the programs you did"
I have talked to employment counselors, program coordinators, program advocates and case managers, volunteers, just about anyone. The bankruptcy is hindering my chances of securing housing, even if I had employment.

The icing on the cake has to be with food stamps and General Assistance. I qualified for Cal-Fresh. However, at the time I had a car worth $2200. So I wasn't able to get General Assistance. Fast Forward a year later, I HAD to sell my car to pay bills. Now this month when I went for General Assistance, I qualify.

It's a never ending cycle, a constant push down. I can take public transportation to work, but to get around and see my boys and being able to transport them would be extremely difficult, not to mention financially stressing. I have scoured employment books, read articles, searched the library, spent hours online trying to find a job, program, a company, anybody who could be a resource whether for low income assistance or employment.
I can probably tell you about a plethora of services this county (Santa Clara) offers for both income assistance and job services.I am registered with CALJOBS; I know all the career sites and have my resume there. I get interviews, however I am starting to think the bankruptcy from loss of business is holding me back when employers do background check.
I also could teach the business writing class or the resume writing classes they offer at Work2Future, I practically did when I took them. I could do the same at Sacred Heart. I've been to InnVision and EHC. I’ve talked to Sunnyvale Community Services. Boy he was a treat he sounded older then my 80 yr old grandma. When I said I need housing and employment help, he gruffly told me to check the newspaper and hung up. I've called St Josephs in Gilroy. I've talked to a program coordinator at West Valley Community Services. I called the Sobrato Organization hoping they had ties to something and one the employees just by grace of god happened to pick up and take my call. I was able to talk to someone at HIF (they couldn't help)
.
I am responsible, respectable and just want to work, have a place to live, and be able to have my children 50/50. I have no police record. I am not in recovery, nor have I ever had to be in a program
I want to work and am attaching a compilation of ALL my work skills. I would not send this out otherwise, I would tailor it specifically to the job I am applying for.

I used to volunteer as much as I could I like being active in my community and helping others. I'm still about that I believe in PAY IT FORWARD. I believe the good you do comes back to you tenfold and that no matter what is going wrong in your life, someone else is struggling just as much if not more; so be thankful for what you have.
I attend church and was a hospitality volunteer for that as well.
I just need help getting on my feet. I have no family, other than my children here in CA.
I do not want to move back east and be far away from them. I want to work, I want to live again. I want to smile and mean it.

I hate what my life has become and know that I am SO MUCH BETTER THEN THIS.
Please help me : money is fine, but it's only a temporary fix, please help me find a program that can assist me in getting on my feet, direct me to employment, and most of all afford me the opportunity to have my children much more consistently so I can be a mom again.
Thank you
Courtney DiMiceli

I am a 26 year old female trying to make my way in the world. I am currently working as hard as I can to fund my starting my own small business. I have sold lots of my belongings but I am still quite a way from my target.

Things are really dire lately and I would love to be able to support myself where my own hard work = the business hopefully does well. My short term goal is to open a small jewellery stand. I have researched suppliers and am close to choosing a suitable one or two. My total start up costs are around the figure of £3200 and I currently have £900. I would be amazed if anyone kindly donated any some of money to me it would show there are some amazing people left in the world. I would be genuinely grateful for any amount from 1p its your hard earned money so thank you! I am absolutely not trying to fund the whole project from this and will continue to work as hard as I can to save however at the rate I'm going with all my rent and bills its going to take a looooong time.

My future goals are to work very hard to build the business so hopefully one day it will not only be able to support me fully but I would love to become a small employer. With so few jobs around, I realise its a drop in the ocean but every little helps as they say. I can truly promise that if I am lucky enough to do well in my new business and have more money than bills I will absolutely help others, both in time and money.

To anyone who has or will contribute to anyone at all on this site or other charity sites you are truly an amazing person and you give me faith in the good people left in the world.

Amish solid cherry custom dining table with 6 matching chairs and matching reproduction ice box! This was a purchase I made from a local amish furniture store brand new, I am the only owner. I have no children and the table and icebox has been used maybe 10 times total. Both are in mint condition. Solid well made by an amish craftsman it is stunning and my pride and joy. The only thing that I honestly cry about selling, but I am terminal and in debt so there ya go. I paid 7560.00 for the table with self storing leaves (seats 16 total) with 6 chairs and matching ice box custom made pads for every inch of wood 4 years ago. I am asking 3700.00 for all of it. Please call me at 360.474.1337 or by email SSHARRINGTON@frontier.com
You will be amazed by the beauty created by hand a complete joy eating with friends and family! Definatly an antique to pass down to other generations.

This is why I'm posting here:

I am 25 and for my entire life, I have been fat. I don't mean this as in, a little on the chubby side; but obese. I can remember being in 5th grade, when our class had to get weighed and measured at the nurses office. The sinking feeling in my gut that came up when I weighed almost 200 lbs at the age of 10 is something that I don't think I will entirely forget.

Because of my horrible diet as a child (McDonalds, soda, you name it), I have spent my entire young life coping with being overweight and all of the horrible things that go with it: wondering if I'll fit in a seatbelt, wondering if I would break a friends bed or chair if I sat on it, or never being able to find a cute outfit to wear like all the other girls. When I was about 14, I was diagnosed with PCOS, which is cysts on my ovaries (contributing to my obesity, or as a result of, but they worked in tandem to make my life miserable). Without health insurance, I was never able to get this issue resolved, and with my poor diet, my weight increased. PCOS symptoms also include abnormal facial and body hair, which was (and to a degree still is) the bane of mine and any woman's existence. A woman should never have to feel so ashamed of her own body, and yet that is exactly how I've felt for as long as I've realized that I was different, and that looks mattered.

My highest weight as of 4 months ago topped out at 324 (thought I had reached 340 a year earlier but had lost some weight over a long period of time). Recently I began taking HCG (a hormone that helps regulate fertility and also helps with weight loss), and am amazed to report that for the first time in my adult life, I am 270 lbs. While this still is a lot, for me it is an incredible number to be at. Never in my life have I felt the fear of dying at 30 begin to be lifted, though I still have a long way to go.

So the point of my request: there are a lot of dreams I have that I feel like I am within reach of grasping. Some of them have already been fulfilled: I have been able to travel with my family, and this past year my parents helped me to finance a jeep. This is a huge one...I live on the west coast and have always wanted to live a surfer/beach lifestyle.

But how could a fat girl ever be a surfer? It's been my dream for the past 10 summers to learn to surf, with beaches only 15 minutes away. But every year, the fear stopped me, my weight stopped me, my inability stopped me.

I want this year to be the last year fear gets in the way.

With my weight going down, I've been trying to exercise. I've been attempting a modified version of P90X, and have been eating healthy and avoiding all the foods that got me where I am today. The problem is that financially, while I do work full time, I barely make enough to cover my bills (gas, car insurance, car payment, cell phone), and am not even able to help my hard working parents pay rent. So money for extras this summer is not really possible, but I CAN'T let another year go by without accomplishing this task.

I want to attend a surf camp this summer in San Diego, called Surf Divas. The problem? Surf lessons are expensive. I think to get me on the right path, I'd need at least 10 hours of lessons. At $82 an hour, thats $820.

The reason I want to fulfill this dream is to prove to myself and others that no matter where you've been, or how far your body is from being in shape, that the human body is remarkably capable of change. I would want to encourage anyone who doesn't think they are the right "type" to surf or do a sport that they can push their bodies to do things they never thought possible. And I sincerely believe that learning to surf will help me pursue my health and fitness goals long term, as well as truly set free the earth-and-sea-loving hippie that I keep snug and close to my soul. I live for summer and the ocean...and being able to ride a way would be life changing for me.

If anyone is able to donate or help support me in taking charge of my health and fitness...there would be no adequate way to thank you. I will send you a picture of me riding my very first wave as a token of gratitude, with a friendship bracelet made by me with a few shells from the beach strung on it. My way to say thank you for helping me to live a healthy life.

I'm a giver who rarely gets, but if you could change that, I would be most grateful.

<3

I posted this "beg" shortly after New Years, and have posted under rent yesterday as well as I have found out I will lose our home if I don't pay asap. I am new to this and believe me, far from lazy, just very ill. I would happily repay anyone once I get my ssdi awarded or work off anything on my "good days" when I can move around. I was amazed when I got an email that a woman donated to me, and for that, I am forever grateful. I am just praying more people see this and find it in their hearts to help if they are able to. I just copied the original one and its as follows:

Some background:

I am a mother of three wonderful children. I was married to their father for ten years, unfortunately. as with too many these days, it did not work out. I do not regret our marriage, for it gave me three wonderful children who are all almost grown now. 21, 19, 16. When we were married, we both decided it best for me to stay home with the children and raise them within our family, although this is pretty rare these days. Once we divoced though, I could only find manual type (cashier, inventory, stock, etc) work as I was married straight out of high school and did not try to go back to work until they were all in school. I did not mind working sometimes three different jobs in order to have full time hours yet work around the kids school schedule, son's physical therapy and the usual "Mom" stuff. People kept saying go back to school, but I could not figure out how to work three jobs, be the full time mom and dad and add school. Unfortunately five years ago I started feeling ill, like the flu that never went away. I kept working through it, with my kids being older as much as I knew I needed to be there, I knew I needed to pay the rent/bills too, so I started working split shifts at the grocery store. I'd go in at 6 am until 2pm, come home, be here for after school and dinner, then rush back at six and work until 11 pm. All the while I was getting sicker. I was hospitalized three times during this period. Unfortunately no one seems to want to agree with whats wrong with me, I have heard several diagnosis over the years, but RA is the one and only proven ailment, although they feel I have an overlapping autoimmune disease. I have no insurance right now, and hoping to get the state insurance soon, but I have a feeling treatment is a long ways away.

I did not want to go the ssdi route until I had no other choice. Too bad that's not how the system works. I, for the last three years have been dealing with such pain and illness, a "real job" became out of the question, so I'd work here and there, whenever I could get work and be able to do it, as some days are a little better than others. Believe me, nothing is below me, I'm happy to scrub toilets, clean dog poo, I will do anything legal to make it, most days now though I feel so bad I can't do much .Well, I have finally reached that "I can't do stage", just yesterday my daughter had to get me out of bed as I could not move. Problem is, SSDI takes up to two years to get, which I didn't realize, so now due to my inane pride, I am absolutely stuck. I just know if I can get on top of the important bills, I will be able to continue as I have (fingers crossed) until the SSDI is accepted, which I did finally file for.

More important than anything else, I need to get some food in the house for my son. I truly don't care if I eat, as long as its enough to survive, which believe it or not is very little. However, I want my growing son to be able to eat when he's hungry and have good healthy choices along with the occasional treat. My 19 year old is very self sufficient and has moved into her own apartment and after taking college courses all through high school is on the right track. My 21 year old moved out when she graduated high school and she too finished college and is self sufficient. (she has now moved back in with her daughter) That's why I only mentioned my son. I have plenty of clothes I can donate as he grew so fast, many very nice, and also more than willing to repay any amount, just can't promise when.

Please, any help at all, anything, is greatly appreciated. Food is first and there is a very cheap store nearby where I can grocery shop. Bills are secondary right now, so believe me, every bit helps. Thanks for reading my story and giving your time and any help you may be able to handle.

I had posted first time ever a few weeks ago about my situation, my being ill and unable to work. A wonderful woman actually responded and donated 5$, which I was amazed, as I've never seen anything like this before. My main concern was feeding my son. Unfortunately, I got a letter from landlord saying if I can't pay rent on time (11 days past due now) he will have to sell the house. I thought food money was asking for a lot. My rent is $1050, 1180 with late fees. My son, daughter and grandaughter all live here with myself, so all relying on me.

I have finally filed for food stamps, and medical and SSDI and awaiting approval, to get back on feet, in the meantime, if we lose our home, there is no place to go. No family, definitely no money for first last and security to move.

Please, please, I beg of you, of anyone out there. Any and every bit helps and adds up. Even if I give him something, its better than nothing and he is a kind patient man who has worked with me through my illness.

I know now that I got the ball rolling with benefits, I will be able to sustain the family, just can't lose the home. I have been searching high and low for work to sustain us while awaiting approval. I always used to work 60-70 hours a week and hate not working. I have the pain under enough control to work here and there and willing to do anything at all legal. I'd scrub a toilet with a smile on my face just because I'd know I'd be working and sustaining us until everything is approved.

Please, please, any help at all is greatly appreciated, please help us save our home.

My wife and I are struggling to open our home to at risk kids. We wanted to buy a small, working farm to help children with Developmental disabilities transition to helping themselves by hands on therapy and life skills.... Unfortuantely, our government, The United States, doesn't see a purpose or need for such a place and keeps denying grants and help... My wife is an occcupational therapist and I am a certified chef. We opened our home to an at risk young woman last year and have been rewarded with the leaps and bouds she has made developmentally... We want to help others with thier special needs, but cannot do it on our own. If you have it in your hearts, please donate what you can... You'd be amazed what an extra $5.00 could do..

Thank You so very much for reading this post, and God bless you and your family!

My wife and I are looking to start a Child care and learning center in our community, We are looking to build a facility using a Green building method called Earthbags we are needing some help getting started. We have a little over an acre of land we are going to start construction on soon that will include lots and lots of hands on learning and out door adventure as well as teach children and families to take care of animals, Cows,Chickens,kittens,puppies,horses,etc. also we would like to offer cooking and general maintenance classes for everyday people.

Part of our funding will be from donations from the community to keep fee's low, we are looking to have a small thrift store on site that people can donate clothes and other items to be sold and 100% of the profit will go back into the facility to keep prices low. and a small grocery store stocked by a team Extreme coupon moms. My wife and I have about $5000.00 saved up plus the land and we need at least another $15,000-$20,000 to build a 5000 sqf building to house the child care facility.

Part of our plan is to get the community involved in the build of our facility and in return help those who are interested in building a home for them once we get the learning center completed.

For those of you not familiar with Earthbag building do some google searches on the subject and you will be amazed at how easy and affordable a nice energy efficient home can be. Anyone who donates will be honored with their name on a dedication plaque inside the facility once it is complete.

Our goal is to keep fee's down below $50.00 per child regardless of age and in some cases free and to offer these children HANDS ON ADVENTURE, and learning.

I am a single mom. I have always worked hard to support myself and my children. Unfortunately, there comes a time in life when no matter how hard you try to make ends meet, you need a little help. I have always helped others in need, even if it meant giving my last dollar. I would do it without even thinking twice.

I have been out of work for a while now. I have done without food to make sure my children have food.
You would be amazed at the things you can do with Ramen Noodles if you just try.
I truly am in need of a kind soul to help with paying my bills.

I just need a little help getting back on my feet....If you can find it in your heart to donate I would be more then grateful.
Thank you for reading.

If you cannot donate for my family, find it in your heart to help or give to someone else. You never know when you will be the one in need.

Updates: September 11, 2011 - I have been able to get a part-time job which is good news, but the rest is just about the same. Thank you for your help Malum Designs
and Pete B.
Since my previous posts have yielded only four donations over the last five months I thought I would try this approach. My financial problems are quite real. If you find my fable entertaining please send a small donation.
- Fortuna vitrea est, tum cum splendet frangitur -

The Grasshopper and the Ant
A Classic retold by Joseph the Beggar King
Part One

Once upon a time, not so very long ago, there were two friends, the Grasshopper and the Ant. Why these two became friends is a bit of a mystery. The Grasshopper was a dreamer and a drifter. The Ant was a believer and an achiever.

In school the Grasshopper would look out the window without thought and only learned the subjects he found interesting. Sometimes he would fall asleep in Math class, other times when a angry teacher would jump him with a pop question he would give the correct answer in way that would confound them.

The Ant was a teachers dream, he soaked up every subject the system taught him, gave the correct answers in the correct way and got straight A s. He would delight his Math teacher by doing compound interest in his head. The Ant believed that what they taught him would help him succeed and was very completive. After graduating High School the Ant got an Academic Scholarship and the Grasshopper got a Pell Grant.

Within four years the Ant got two BS degrees in Business Management and Engineering. The Grasshopper dropped out after the first year. He went to live with the Rainbow Tribe for a few years. On the way to the bus station he found an old fiddle in a trash pile along the road and when he got station he was able to panhandle his bus fare. That was the Grasshoppers first beg.

The Ant took the College like a fish to water. During open Rush some Greeks invite him to be a brother in their Fraternity. He earned his dues by being the Frat Houses Accountant and made beer money by writing term papers. One day while visiting the Tri Deltas he watches the girls play volleyball and is amazed that even though they are playing a vigorous game not one of them breaks a sweat. It is there he meets the girl of his dreams, Polly Fishbane.

While the Grasshopper was living with the Rainbow Tribe he never meets the girl of his dreams, but it does not really matter too much because they believe in Free Love. So free, in fact, that after what you might call the Honeymoon he found himself getting a little bored with it. From the Rainbow Tribe he learns to live off the fat of country and from his new friend, Buffalo with Runs, he learns to live off the land. Buffalo with Runs was an very old Indian that was adopted by the tribe. He taught the Grasshopper what wild plants were safe to eat or use for medicines. He showed him how to set traps and hunt small game. Then, during one winter Gathering four people froze to dead because they were too stoned to come in out of the cold. The Grasshopper became very sad and hopped away.

The Ant is recruited by a Aerospace firm even before he graduated college and goes to work on the Apollo Program. He and his new wife Polly loved the Florida sunshine and settle down to start the American Dream. They decide to have two and half children. Even though the third kid looked a bit odd the Ant loved him as only a father can. With easy money down and mortgage tax deductions compliments of Uncle Sam, they get a house with a two car garage. Next they get two cars and the Rat Race is on. The Ant loves it! Working on the Apollo Program is more than a job, it is being part of history. Polly loves it! Raising their kids and Keeping up of with the Jones. She starts selling Avon products on the side. The Ant buys the best bass boat in the neighborhood, but only uses it once a year because he too busy working. He sets up his retirement funds and a small stock portfolio. Life is Good!

After leaving the Rainbow Tribe the Grasshopper panhandles his way across the country. He sets up in parks and subways where he pretends to play his fiddle while selling jewelry made of deer anthers and beads. The noise he makes with his fiddle sounds like a cat being killed and people give him money just to make him stop. Before the Cops run him off, the Grasshopper usually made enough in one day of begging to cover his needs for the week. When he is hungry he goes to a Soup Kitchen and when he needs clothing there are the Sharing Centers. Every now and then he lets some good hearted woman try to save him. Life is Good and he hops away.

The Apollo Program ends and the new Shuttle program does not start for a couple of years. The Aerospace company were the Ant works at does not win any of the new bids. They offer him a job in California at 20% less of his salary. Polly and the kids are in a rage. Nobody wants to move and leave their friends. The Ant sells his house at a loss because the real estate market in flooded by the laid offs. The one car and the boat are reprocessed. He sells off his stock portfolio for the down payment on the new house in California and even though money is tight the Ant decides to take the family on a short vacation to Key West to uplift their spirits. He finds the Grasshopper selling deer antler jewelry at the Front Street Market. While Polly and the kids go shopping, he and Grasshopper catch up and have a couple of beers. The Ant tells his friend about the laid offs and the move. The Grasshopper asks him - Are you Happy - ? The Ant says - Yes -. His friend says, - Good - . They watch the sunset and see a green flash on the horizon.
To be continue.

I never thought I'd end up on a site such as this begging for the help of others. But as a single mom that is as of right now physically unable to work, you'd be amazed at what I would do. Right now I am about to loose all that I have if these bills do not get paid. I am a very responsible person,but with minimal money coming in, things got a head of me and now I am in this situation. I don't want a TON of money, just enough to take care of what needs to be taken care of - and to be able to spend time with my wonderful son without constantly stressing about when the next late or shut off notice is going to come in the mail. I would never expect anything from anybody without giving back, and in two weeks I will have the money- but it's money I need NOW . This is not a scam, I am a true and honest person, willing to show all reciepts necessary. Please help. The total amount I would need is 400.00 and I basically have a week if not less to come up with the money.