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Our problems began in 2010. My husband was injured on the job that he was doing although he has severe health issues. After getting injured he was later fired. At this time he is pursuing disability and we have workers comp suit in place. In the mean time we are currently living day by day. I work part time and have been trying so hard to get a full time position. My daughter in a freshman in college and my son a freshman in high school. My daughter made an adult decision and got pregnant. She is an awesome girl and abortion isn't an option for her. We are doing everything we can to add room to our home. We had an unfinished bonus room that we would like to complete for the baby since her room is only a 10 by 10. We are very simple people with a real need. We just want to get caught up or ahead somewhat on our bills. What makes this different is we would like to pay it back to anyone who is willing to give us a break. The disability takes time as does the workers comp suit. We are hard working people who only want what is best for our family. We are looking at around 3 to $5,000. As I said If the lender is someone local I can work for it also. I can clean or cook. We will take anything that is offered. We just need a little help. Thanks so much for reading.

What do you say when you are entreating an entire world of strangers to come to your aid? How do you sound deserving of their help? How do you express, without writing a novel, why you are in need, how you came to be there, how you came to choose this way of seeking help, and how very afraid you feel.
First, the reason I chose this method. I was feeling frustrated one night after being asked to work another fund raiser. While there is no doubt that the family is very much in need their financial security was markedly better than my own. I was wondering why it seemed that it was always people who already had some means at their disposal who got that kind of sympathy and help. Obviously I was feeling self centered but still the thought remained, what kind of resources were there out there for people like me, people barely above poverty level and struggling to keep from going under. So...I started searching the internet and came across references to "begging" online. I was shocked, I was appalled...I was hopeful. The anonymity of it was a big plus.
Feeling so hopeless, and out of control is very frightening for me. I work with the public. The street people call me Smiley because I try to always stay upbeat while at work and they know that if I can I will always help them with a dollar or two when they need it. There are many people ( even those who are only a few years younger than my 55) who call me Mom and have come to me for assistance both emotionally and financially. I have two adult children of my own and many more that have come through my household and are a part of my family even though they are not related biologically. I send my own Mother money a couple times a month. She lives on a fixed income that doesn't even cover here cost of living. I can no longer afford these things but I don't know how to cut off the aid to others even though I, myself, am in need of aid.
My husband and I come from poor families and were determined to make a better life for our own children. Since we both only had high school educations neither one of us are in well paying jobs but we have always managed to survive and our children never had to worry about whether Mom and Dad were going to be able to feed and clothe them. But things have gotten progressively worse this year.
I tried to start a small business in order to provide my oldest grandchildren and one of my children with a secure job and something meaningful to do. Trying to keep them out of the "system" and teach them to have self respect, and trying to provide a means for them to have financial security. But the business never picked up and we were funneling money into it...my daughter lost her husband and we were also supporting her household. The financial strain has put us in debt that we cannot pay. Our cars have broken down, there are three running vehicles for six drivers to use getting to work and looking for work but no money to repair or replace them. My daughter and her children are living in my home, having lost theirs, and my husband and I are staying with my youngest and her family. Her husband was recently laid off and she is expecting her second child. My husband had to have surgery and that put him off work for six weeks, and now in order to keep his job we have to somehow pay for hearing aids ($3000 for the least expensive ones). Although it is hard we have stuck together and are helping each other as best we can.
The problem is that I see no end in sight. Just the electric bill is $6oo a month thru the winter months. Fuel is outrageous. Food for this many people (5 adults, 3 late teens, and 3 small children) is very expensive in this state. Mortgage payments, gas for cars, and phones...these are things everyone has to pay. I know there are many who are far worse off than I, at least we still have roofs over our heads. But the output is so much higher than the income and each month, each WEEK, sees me feeling a little more desperate. How will I, will we, end up? Will we all be living on the street next year? The interior of Alaska is no climate for the homeless. I don't know what it will take to make this better, to make my family secure but I hope there is help out there for us.

hello since i last visited someone halped me with my si tuat ion where i needed help paying for my meds and doctor's bills ove the holdiays much appreciated i am h owever st ill unemployed and planning to move soon i once lived ina ahelter here but my time was up in about 3 months i continue toseek a job iam a middleged woman 55 who needs help with a buscard for a week here i have asked to have various papers fi lled out but when i ge t better the health cneter stops working for me i am no member of gang teh lazy old micial social worker would not help me wi th my reduced fare permit i cna't walk far i have heart problem under control with medications i can work however i am not from here when the peoples health center got my medicla records from cook county they stopped helping i need a lit tle change or i have a paypal account until things improve i am an adult learner who is trying to SURVIVE i read online that many older workers are getting jobs i used tostay in an sro but state financing ran out in illinois i have a new eyeglass pr escrip tion that needs filling i only run in to difficulties here lately when i ask for minor help 15-25 dollars can anyone help me i used to suffer for CHF!I am in need of shoes also i have type 2 diabetes wk hich ialso treat with medicine once t hey at the health center on delmar blvd.)helped me use Xubex for important medicines once however i only tke basics i can use a little help and help with bus fare i go to churches to eat many .many meals their clohing is limited so i have very little if not sought by people who claim to be lceaning up an area that is already environmentally clean and hidden on a tree branch not in anyone's way i can get doanted items if i can get there i am hungry at times and am given t hing s formtime to time, ilove to work god bless youif you can help , my name is yslvia mccullough i get coorespondence at 1610 olive st., st.louis,mo 63103 i also have paypal, thanks for letting me ask, good nite

I have lost my Mother ,our home, my vehicles,our storage, and two full time jobs Ive held since 1998. Ive always worked hard and helped everyone that knows me. Now when I ask for help it seems as everyone goes the other way. Even my grown adult childre. I have a Medical need and it has gone unattended for two years. I have a medical"wrongful suit going. My mother went for blood work and was given 2sedatives and two Tranquilers and died. I have no one to ask for help. Im not a beggar Im in need of a blessing.Please help me today. Thank you

Hello BegsList. My name is Chris. I'm 19 years of age, and I live in Philadelphia. At the age of 18, I escaped an abusive household to enter the adult world. I am afflicted with autism and severe ADHD. I don't let those setbacks get to me though- I'm enterprising and constantly looking for employment. I finally had a good place- I found a well-paying position at Walgreens, and they transferred me into the Philadelphia market. Not three months after arriving, I was unexpectedly laid off. Due to some funky requirements in the rules, I was not able to draw unemployment. I have been diligently hunting for jobs ever since that fateful day, but unfortunately my efforts have proven fruitless. I have volunteered most of my time to a small non-profit when I'm not job searching. We're a small interfaith group that hits the streets with a message of love and peace for all, along with participating in several community service projects and education programs. We are currently experiencing a whole host of financial hardships as a whole. My beg is two pronged: On one hand, I am three months behind on my rent and on the verge of eviction. On the other hand, I am devoted to making my community better and making people a little happier through the non-profit. This is a last resort for me, as I've exhausted all other channels. Please help me out. Someone's gotta be out there. I thank you for taking the time to read this.

-Chris

My Sister has moved in with her 2 boys 8 and 11, from a 11 year abusive relationship. I already live with my disabled mother and my sister has social phobia so have to do the school run with her. I have just lost my job because of arthritis and we need to move house as we have 3 adult and two children in a small 3 bedroom house, But cannot afford a deposit. We are desperate, Please find it in your heart to help us with what ever you can afford!
We greatly appreciate it, Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!!!!

My mother has had a stroke. Mom and I live together and share expences. Her and I are very close and I come close to losing her. We have no other family to help us, it's just us against the world. My dad has passed away many years ago and our family are not close. She was in a nursing home rehab center and they have released her back home. I quit my job to take care of her because the hours I had were at night. I need a daytime job so I can put her in adult daycare while I am at work. I am in the process of looking for a job and applying for an elderly waiver. She needs 24 hour care. We rent and share expences and now all the expences have fallen on me. I could really use some extra money for rent. There are so many things I need right now. I don't have a refrigerator just a small motel type of frig. My car needs repaired and I need my car so I can look for work and take mom to the doctor and errands. I would appreciate your help at this difficult time.

My mother has had a stroke. Mom and I live together and share expences. Her and I are very close and I come close to losing her. We have no other family to help us, it's just us against the world. My dad has passed away many years ago and our family are not close. She was in a nursing home rehab center and they have released her back home. I quit my job to take care of her because the hours I had were at night. I need a daytime job so I can put her in adult daycare while I am at work. I am in the process of looking for a job and applying for an elderly waiver. She needs 24 hour care. We rent and share expences and now all the expences have fallen on me. I could really use some extra money for rent. There are so many things I need right now. I don't have a refrigerator just a small motel type of frig. My car needs repaired and I need my car so I can look for work and take mom to the doctor and errands. I would appreciate your help at this difficult time.

My mother has had a stroke. Mom and I live together and share expences. Her and I are very close and I come close to losing her. We have no other family to help us, it's just us against the world. My dad has passed away many years ago and our family are not close. She was in a nursing home rehab center and they have released her back home. I quit my job to take care of her because the hours I had were at night. I need a daytime job so I can put her in adult daycare while I am at work. I am in the process of looking for a job and applying for an elderly waiver. She needs 24 hour care. We rent and share expences and now all the expences have fallen on me. I could really use some extra money for rent. There are so many things I need right now. I don't have a refrigerator just a small motel type of frig. My car needs repaired and I need my car so I can look for work and take mom to the doctor and errands. I would appreciate your help at this difficult time.

My mother has had a stroke. Mom and I live together and share expences. Her and I are very close and I come close to losing her. We have no other family to help us, it's just us against the world. My dad has passed away many years ago and our family are not close. She was in a nursing home rehab center and they have released her back home. I quit my job to take care of her because the hours I had were at night. I need a daytime job so I can put her in adult daycare while I am at work. I am in the process of looking for a job and applying for an elderly waiver. She needs 24 hour care. We rent and share expences and now all the expences have fallen on me. I could really use some extra money for rent. There are so many things I need right now. I don't have a refrigerator just a small motel type of frig. My car needs repaired and I need my car so I can look for work and take mom to the doctor and errands. I would appreciate your help at this difficult time.

This is highly embarassing for me to "cyber beg." Begging seems like such an awful word, but here I am asking for donations of anything! I don't care if it's 0.25 cents or $1. Anything helps.

I'm a struggling graphic designer in need of a new desktop Machintosh. I'm aiming to raise $1300 to buy a new iMac computer so that I can start designing to complete my portfolio and start applying for work. My last computer failed on me during finals in school. Thanks to my school's computer lab, I was able to finish my work and graduate. That was back in NYC. I couldn't afford living there on my own and had to come to a smaller town to live with parents. I worked minimum wage retail to gain some money, but the physical stress forced me to stop working due to muscle weakness problem I have. A medical affliction caused by a tumor that has been affecting my energy and skeletal/muscle strength for about 7 years. It was hard getting through school with my condition. It was twice as hard having to work on my feet for hours in a retail environment.

Double my misfortune, I live in a place where jobs are hard to come by. A small town which has a lot of developing to do and jobs are far between. I need a car to travel to the nearest grocery store and can't depend on parents to transport me everywhere. This is why a job is so imperative. I'd like to feel fulfilled knowing I'm doing something for my future and earning money to buy my needs. I wish I had the equipment to start looking for work.

I want an iMac more than anything in the world. If I had my iMac, I could update my portfolio, do some online freelance work and help my parents with some bills. I could start applying for jobs from home and not have to rely on my neighbor's iPad to browse the internet. Whenever my family goes to the mall in the weekends, I pass by our local Apple store and I see people walking out of the store with large boxes containing their brand new iMac's, Macbook Pro's or expensive iPad's...and I get angry.

Yes, I know it sounds terrible and I know not everyone buying a computer is a rich business mogul or an overpampered kid whose parents can buy them whatever they want, and they never have to worry about whether they could afford it or not. But it hurts me to know I'm in such a position, that although I am an adult who should be paying her parent's bills, I can't even help myself because I'm unemployed. No thanks to my stupid weak body that can't take a lot of physical strain, no thanks to ending up in a town where I can't get anywhere without having to walk at least two miles, no thanks to not having my computer...

My name is not Amelia. That is just a screen name because I am too embarassed to reveal my real name. I'd be so grateful to anyone that can help me reach my $1300 goal. I know Mac's are expensive, but they are the industry standard in what I do. I would like a desktop because they are durable and longer lasting. They can also take a lot processing power for the heavy graphic work I do. If you can find it in your time to spare any change .25 cents, $1, $5, I'll be grateful 'till eternity.

Anyone who donates, be kind to leave an email so that I can send you something in return for your favor.

Thank you and God bless,
ameliab2005@gmail.com

My husband recently lost his job, and due to the job market being so poor in our area, neither of us have been able to find work. We have four small children, one of whom has severe developmental disabilities and may require life long care. After these last few months of struggling to make ends meet, we have burnt through all of our savings and are running out of options. We both want desperately to change our situation, for our children's sake, and are determined to go back to school and further our education so that we can give our children the life they deserve. We have set up meetings with an advisor and our working towards enrolling in our local community college, and are both acitively seeking work. We don't have much family close by that is willing to help, and we are coming dangerously close to having our electric shut off if we do not come up with the money soon. We are down to our last dollar and have nowhere else to turn. We have applied for a local assistance program but it can take up to three months before we are approved, so there is no way to get the help we need before it is too late. Please know that we are not just bums. It kills us to even have to ask for help, but we just don't know what else to do. My husband is a partially disabled USMC war veteran and I have been a Stay at home mom for most of my adult life. We are good, honest, hardworking people who are just down on their luck, with four small, beautiful children depending on them. all we need is a little bit of help. We have so many goals for our future, but if we can not pay this electric bill, we will be evicted from our home and wont even have a residence to use to apply for the financial aid we need for college. We really appreciate any and all help, and want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts!!!

I have over $50,000 in student loan debt, mostly from Grad school (Masters degree is required in my profession.) I have faithfully made payments on my loans ever since the in-college deferment wore off. But paying $500 a month on my loans is killing me. I am a single professional adult who is just trying to be a positive member of society. I have not and will not file for bankruptcy (my mother would disown me), I do not use any government subsidies, and I am drug free (my mom would kill me then disown me at the funeral/prison).

I recently went through a natural disaster and lost everything I own. I have gotten my house back to livable, but can't afford to save money for more improvements because of these horrendous payments!

I'm drowning in debt and unless someone helps me, I'll be drowning for 18 more years!

Hello My name is Aristotle and I run a free Self Defense Program on the east coast in new jersey. We teach free self defense for adult teen and also children. The building I currently use is in 3 months of backed up bills the landlord has been nice to help by letting me go this far but he wants his money and since I teach free classes there is no income and Lost my job i had to support my school in December. I would very appreciate every bit of help I am able to get

I'll try to keep this short and sweet.
I'm 20 years old, working as an operator at a machine shop just a few miles from my current apartment.
About a month ago, the president of our company announced that they were going to be moving the shop in a few months. He did not, however, mention that this would cause a lot of us to lose hours due to a lack of received work orders for our CURRENT location.
I already had a couple of outstanding loans from before things went south at work. Just a couple of hundred dollars for electricity or rent that I figured I could pay back quickly taking the shops pay rate into account. However, now that I've been going without more than 10 hours of work a week for almost three weeks paying my loans back is becoming more of a game of trying to scrape together my minimum payment amount while also somehow managing rent, bills, and food money. I've gotten to the point where I'm eating about a meal a day and spending as little time in my apartment as possible to cut back on water and electricity expenses.
The real kicker of this whole situation is that my lease will be expiring 3/19/2012, and I need to manage to get a new apartment before then. With the two outstanding loans, moving expenses, leasing deposits and application fees...well, it's starting to look like I might be living under a bridge next month...
Most people my age would turn to there parents for help, but I don't really have any such luck. Both of my parents just kind of jumped ship as soon as I graduated High School. Last I heard from mom she was using meth, and Dad isn't faring much better...
Please, help me avoid homelessness and give what you can so I can manage a standard, stable adult life.

I've never done anything like this so I'm not sure what to expect, but am hopeful that somebody out there can help. I'm attending a prestigious four year college in the fall, and am extremely proud of the effort I've put in to get this far. I graduated high school one year early (despite some major roadblocks in my home life) and spent the next six months working 40-45 hours per week.

I am eager to leave home once and for all, and put all my energy into my future. I've saved what I could, paid what I can and will continue to work diligently towards establishing myself as a productive adult.

However, despite my best efforts, I am still a couple thousand dollars short of my expenses for school. I've asked family members and friends, sold everything I can on Craigslist, and have spent many nights stressing about whether or not I'll be able to actually attend the school I've worked so hard to get into.

I'm not asking for alot, I know that anything will help. This is me asking for perfect strangers to look into the kindness of their heart and donate what they can, or are comfortable with.
I thank you ALL in advance, for even taking the time to read my post, and assure you I will pay forward all kindness.

Here's Hoping!!!

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho men was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

Hi people

I wont make this ultra long or at least I will try not to ok :)

My name is Christine,I am Scottish, mother of 4 really lovely kids ranging from 2 years to 14 years.

I have been with their father since I was young (16), I have suffered from depression for a long time and never sought help till about 3 years ago.

My partner worked while I stayed at home and looked after the kids, I tried :)

2 years ago my partner was made redundant, since then he's had some work but its been poorly paid and only short term, we have had to rely on the government for help and let me tell you its been no where near enough!
we own our own home (mortgage) and they wont pay it all while he's jobless and we dont get enough money to cover the rest, we have accrued debt from the mortgage and from most of our other bills.
We have been close to eviction on more than 2 occasions, we borrowed the money from his mum, really great of her, she decided she didn't want re-paid which was awesome, but we only just covered that one event, we are still behind and struggling like crazy.
We are all stuck together in this now cramped house as when we initially bought it, we only had 2 kids!
we dont get out, we dont take vacations or holidays, we dont drink nor smoke and though we'd like one, we dont have a car (we cant even drive).

I am stressed, he's stressed, itsnot a nice atmosphere at home like every single day, the kids argue (older kids), mostly over space and we all argue and shout and get upset.

My oartner has been for many job interviews and so far no success, we are not scroungers, he's worked all his adult life and he hates not working and being stuck with me 24/7.

There are some things that have happened, things that I dont want to mention, personal stuff, breaks my heart.........we just need a break, I have been on the verge of a meltdown, surely it cant just continue?

I anyone is in a position to help not just me but my whole family, then please.....it would be the best thing ever!!!

this is probably the most sincere thing I ever wrote right there.

Kind and warm regards Christine

I’ve never asked for any kind of help before, and certainly not from people that I have never met! But my situation has become so desperate that I really do need help.
I have, for the last 15 years, struggled to make ends meet, following periods of ill-health, bad luck and catastrophic decision making. My circumstances are now very desperate indeed, and have even considered suicide.
In 1997 I suffered from a period of depression, that became so severe that I was forced to give up my job, and borrowed money to cover my mortgage and keep my house. Unfortunately the repayments on this ever increasing debt snowballed, and I found myself unable to meet my mortgage and household bills. I had ploughed my life savings into the home, and lost it all.
In 2006 I was approached by a friend, who was concerned for my financial circumstances, and suggested that we buy an old property, renovate it and sell it for a profit. I was desperate to make some money, and trusted my friend. I would refer you to full details of this in my Beg, as the project ended in complete failure having been ripped off by an unscrupulous builder. Work that should have taken 3 months took in excess of 9, and I ended up carrying out all the work myself. I regularly worked at the house from the early hours until well past midnight. The long hours left me exhausted, and in October 2008 I had a breakdown. I simply couldn’t carry on, and collapsed at work. My employer at the time was an unforgiving and vindictive man, and he said that I would be suspended if my work didn’t improve. I was afraid that I would lose my job, and under considerable psychological pressure from my employer I was forced to resign.
Following the failed business venture, which had plunged me into further debt, my breakdown and subsequent loss of my job, I simply couldn’t cope and pushed me into a long period of depression that became so severe that I planned to take my life. At the time I was so ill that I was unable to hold down a job, and this simply added to my woes - whilst out of work and undergoing intensive counselling I borrowed further. By the end of 2009 I was £15,000 ($23,250) in debt. I desperately want to rebuild my life now, but it is difficult to do so when I am saddled with a debt that is crippling me. Between 2009 and December 2010 my debt increased - there is no answer to it, and I will never ever me able to clear the £18,000 ($27,900) that I now owe. It is a debt that cripples me and prevents me from having a normal, happy life. I am 50 in February 2012, but have no future. I am tired of being worried, stressed, unable to sleep, and being depressed. Please, please help me start my life all over again. Please read my full story, and contact me if you have any questions. Thank you.