Abuse Tags

Basically I need help with my rent. My daughters father use to abuse me and finally I did something about it. The reason I ddnt do anything about it is because I knew I would be in this situation. I did not depend on him until I couldnt work for maternity reasons as well as wanting to care for my daughter in her first moments of life. Now I am back working, I dont have enough money or time for my baby. However this leaves me short for rent and basically everything else but I cant lose our roof. I have nowhere else to go. I also figure it'll cost me more by getting evicted, losing my security deposit and starting over(for new apt).I can handle going without everything else, I could also handle going without this apartment if it was just me but its not. This brings me to the "begging" part...so I basically I would well my daughter and I would really appriciate anything at this point, even if its just advice on where else to go(trust ive been everywhere except stripping)as far where I could get immediate help.
If it matters I am 24 with no family except my 14month daughter all I want to do is live a good happy life at this point. I just got my mid life crisis early. I never thought in a million years I would be a domestic violence victim with a child(my daughter at that)involved, then in a situation like this...basically could be homeless in a matter of days, but working my behind off and still not making enough, never.....never would I or knew how to prepare for this, its jus all crazy.So again we would both appriciate anything.

Basically I need help with my rent. My daughters father use to abuse me and finally I did something about it. The reason I ddnt do anything about it is because I knew I would be in this situation. I did not depend on him until I couldnt work for maternity reasons as well as wanting to care for my daughter in her first moments of life. Now I am back working, I dont have enough money or time for my baby. However this leaves me short for rent and basically everything else but I cant lose our roof. I have nowhere else to go. I also figure it'll cost me more by getting evicted, losing my security deposit and starting over(for new apt).I can handle going without everything else, I could also handle going without this apartment if it was just me but its not. This brings me to the "begging" part...so I basically I would well my daughter and I would really appriciate anything at this point, even if its just advice on where else to go(trust ive been everywhere except stripping)as far where I could get immediate help.
****If it matters I am 24 with no family except my 14month daughter all I want to do is live a good happy life at this point. I just got my mid life crisis early. I never thought in a million years I would be a domestic violence victim with a child(my daughter at that)involved, then in a situation like this...basically could be homeless in a matter of days, but working my behind off and still not making enough, never.....never would I or knew how to prepare for this, its jus all crazy.So again we would both appriciate anything.

Basically I need help with my rent. My daughters father use to abuse me and finally I did something about it. The reason I ddnt do anything about it is because I knew I would be in this situation. I did not depend on him until I couldnt work for maternity reasons as well as wanting to care for my daughter in her first moments of life. Now I am back working, I dont have enough money or time for my baby. However this leaves me short for rent and basically everything else but I cant lose our roof. I have nowhere else to go. I also figure it'll cost me more by getting evicted, losing my security deposit and starting over(for new apt).I can handle going without everything else, I could also handle going without this apartment if it was just me but its not. This brings me to the "begging" part...so I basically I would well my daughter and I would really appriciate anything at this point, even if its just advice on where else to go(trust ive been everywhere except stripping)as far where I could get immediate help.
If it matters I am 24 with no family except my 14month daughter all I want to do is live a good happy life at this point. I just got my mid life crisis early. I never thought in a million years I would be a domestic violence victim with a child(my daughter at that)involved, then in a situation like this...basically could be homeless in a matter of days, but working my behind off and still not making enough, never.....never would I or knew how to prepare for this, its jus all crazy.So again we would both appriciate anything.

Basically I need help with my rent. My daughters father use to abuse me and finally I did something about it. The reason I ddnt do anything about it is because I knew I would be in this situation. I did not depend on him until I couldnt work for maternity reasons as well as wanting to care for my daughter in her first moments of life. Now I am back working, I dont have enough money or time for my baby. However this leaves me short for rent and basically everything else but I cant lose our roof. I have nowhere else to go. I also figure it'll cost me more by getting evicted, losing my security deposit and starting over(for new apt).I can handle going without everything else, I could also handle going without this apartment if it was just me but its not. This brings me to the "begging" part...so I basically I would well my daughter and I would really appriciate anything at this point, even if its just advice on where else to go(trust ive been everywhere except stripping)as far where I could get immediate help.
If it matters I am 24 with no family except my 14month daughter all I want to do is live a good happy life at this point. I just got my mid life crisis early. I never thought in a million years I would be a domestic violence victim with a child(my daughter at that)involved, then in a situation like this...basically could be homeless in a matter of days, but working my behind off and still not making enough, never.....never would I or knew how to prepare for this, its jus all crazy.So again we would both appriciate anything.

Basically I need help with my rent. My daughters father use to abuse me and finally I did something about it. The reason I ddnt do anything about it is because I knew I would be in this situation. I did not depend on him until I couldnt work for maternity reasons as well as wanting to care for my daughter in her first moments of life. Now I am back working, I dont have enough money or time for my baby. However this leaves me short for rent and basically everything else but I cant lose our roof. I have nowhere else to go. I also figure it'll cost me more by getting evicted, losing my security deposit and starting over(for new apt).I can handle going without everything else, I could also handle going without this apartment if it was just me but its not. This brings me to the "begging" part...so I basically I would well my daughter and I would really appriciate anything at this point, even if its just advice on where else to go(trust ive been everywhere except stripping)as far where I could get immediate help.
***If it matters I am 24 with no family except my 14month daughter all I want to do is live a good happy life at this point. I just got my mid life crisis early. I never thought in a million years I would be a domestic violence victim with a child(my daughter at that)involved, then in a situation like this...basically could be homeless in a matter of days, but working my behind off and still not making enough, never.....never would I or knew how to prepare for this, its jus all crazy.So again we would both appriciate anything.

Basically I need help with my rent. My daughters father use to abuse me and finally I did something about it. The reason I ddnt do anything about it is because I knew I would be in this situation. I did not depend on him until I couldnt work for maternity reasons as well as wanting to care for my daughter in her first moments of life. Now I am back working, I dont have enough money or time for my baby. However this leaves me short for rent and basically everything else but I cant lose our roof. I have nowhere else to go. I also figure it'll cost me more by getting evicted, losing my security deposit and starting over(for new apt).I can handle going without everything else, I could also handle going without this apartment if it was just me but its not. This brings me to the "begging" part...so I basically I would well my daughter and I would really appriciate anything at this point, even if its just advice on where else to go(trust ive been everywhere except stripping)as far where I could get immediate help.
If it matters I am 24 with no family except my 14month daughter all I want to do is live a good happy life at this point. I just got my mid life crisis early. I never thought in a million years I would be a domestic violence victim with a child(my daughter at that)involved, then in a situation like this...basically could be homeless in a matter of days, but working my behind off and still not making enough, never.....never would I or knew how to prepare for this, its jus all crazy.So again we would both appriciate anything.

Please help this couple falsely accused of child abuse. They have a website running for their defense, it is chadandmelindachrittonlegalfund.com

Please read the information concerning the false allegations against these poor people and the hopelessness of their situation.

Not long ago, I lost my home to a psychotic woman who made a phony accusation of "domestic abuse" during one of her more than 100 psychiatric hospitalizations (that's just during my acquaintance with her). I have since learned that she has done the same thing to at least two other men and made other false accusations against at least four of her doctors.

Evidence exists in the form of her medical history, affidavits by those who have observed her behavior, and written statements by the woman herself admitting that she is "delusional". This material could be presented in court and should prevent her from ever harming another man. But that will take money for legal fees, and since I am disabled and on a fixed income....it's money I don't have.

If anyone can help at all I will be deeply grateful. I'd like my house back--after all, I paid for it over 15 years. And I'd like to see this woman stopped from harming anyone else. Her next victim could be you.

PLEASE HELP ME IM BEGGING ANY AND EVERYONE I HAVE RECENTLY 2YRS AGO FOUND MY CHILDREN AFTER A LONG NASTY DRAWN OUT DIVORCE, WHEN MY EX HUSBAND DECIDED TO RELOCATE 513 MILES AWAY AND HIDE MY 10 AND 11YR OLD SONS FROM ME. AN ASSISTANT PRINCIPAL IN CORPUS CHRISTI TX,GOD BLESS HER!!! MADE A CALL TO A BUDDY WHO WORKED FOR WORLD WIDE CHILDREN MISSING SEARCH, AND LOCATED MY BABIES. WHEN I FOUND THEM, THEY BOTH CRIED THEIR SOULS OUT, BECAUSE THEIR FATHER TOLD THEM I WAS DEAD. MY CHILDREN NOT ONLY WENT THROUGH THINKING I WAS DEAD, BUT NOW GOING THROUGH HAVING TO HEAR THERE FATHER,MAKE THEM GET ON THE PHONE AND MAKE ME SEND WHAT EVER LITTLE MONEY I SAVE, MAKING THEM TELL ME DAD SAYS HE NEEDS IT, MAKING THEM SAY "MOM PLEASE SEND IT OR DAD IS GOING TO TAKE US AGAIN MOMMY" PLEASE, IF YOUR OUT THERE PLEASE HELP ME GET THE MONEY I NEED TO GET MY CHILDREN LEGALLY, IM BEGGING YOU, I RECENTLY MADE THE MISTAKE OF HAVING CPS GO AND SPEAK TO MY BOYS AT SCHOOL ANONYMOUSLY , MY BOYS WERE TERRIFIED THERE FATHER WOULD FIND OUT IF THEY REPEAT THE MENTAL ABUSE THEY GO THROUGH.EVER SINCE CPS HAS COME IN, MY CHILDREN ARE FORBIDDED TO SPEAK WITH ME. I CANT DO THIS AGAIN I CANT TAKE HEARING THEM BEG AND CRY ANYMORE, OR CALLING ME FROM STRANGERS AND FRIENDS PHONES TELLING ME "MOMMY I LOVE YOU, PLEASE HURRY AND GET US, IF DAD HIDES US AGAIN WE WILL CALL YOU ,IF YOU DONT KNOW THE NUMBER ITS US MOM".I CANT FAIL THEM AS A MOTHER, I BEG YOU PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME!! MY MY OLDEST SON RAN FROM HIS FATHER LONG ENOUGH TO GET A COMPLETE STRANGER IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE TO USE HIS PHONE, TO CALL AND MAKE ME PROMISE HIM LAST NIGHT THAT I WOULD TAKE THEM AWAY FROM THERE. IF THERES SO MUCH AS A DOLLAR YOU COULD SPARE, I BEG YOU FOR THE HELP, IF I HAVE TO GIVE YOU A WRITTEN PROMISARY NOTE PROMISING TO GIVE YOU EVERY DIME BACK IN FULL,I GIVE YOU MY WORD I WILL, PLEASE JUST HELP ME GET MY BOYS WHERE THEY BELONG I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO. IF YOU CAN HELP IN THE SLIGHTEST WAY, PLEASE CONTACT ME EMAIL letticiagarcia109@yahoo.com, every little bit counts!!! CONCERNED MOM

hi please help me since i left school age 16 iv been employed as a road worker im now 24 and have had in all that time 4 days off work total. I work 6 days a week 7.00 til 5.00 and i work to the best of my ability never causing trouble to make sure i can afford the important things like food rent heating and have never asked for a handout but just before xmas i started experiencing trouble with my breathing and get a bad cough. I couldnt afford to take time off work as i dont get sick pay and any medical visits our also none payable so i jsut fort through the trouble and it started to get better until last weekendf when my breathing trouble got a lot worse to the point that as my fiancce drove me to the hospital i was unable to talk and was close to passing out due to lack of oxygen on arrival i was russhed into a and e and into the medical assement unit where i remained for the next 4 hours i was then moved onto a ward and told that i had pnemonia and that i would be required to stay in hospital for 3 days and then would have to rest at home for a further 2 weeks meaning i would miss 15 days of work and 15 days of pay. Unfortunatly i work in a company where alot of workers would abuse the sick pay benefit so it got written out of our contracts years ago. i was never one to do this but if i wanted to keep my job i was forced to sign this contracrt now im worrying if i dnt go back to work now i wnt be able to afford rent food heating but also if i do go back i may make myself worse and end up back in hospital its catch 22 please if you can give anything i would be grateful. thanks you in advance

So this is what I'm resorting to..I'm really trying to get back up on my feet..I have two beautiful daughters and I am a single mom..the last year of my life has been the worst year..but I know life does get easier and better..I was just in the wrong path of my life..I left the father of my kids because of abuse..he left me and my children homeless..but I'm not gonna give my sappy story because, well quite frankly I don't want people to think that I'm just saying something to aquire money..so instead I'm gonna tell you the positive things that I am I am a smart person who has so much potential..I am the type of person who is spiritual and I love life..I have faith in a higher power..I meditate..and I have high hopes for my little girls..but due to my circumstances..its been really hard..all I want is for my kids to have a comfortable home to live in..and from there I can provide them with the best of the best and the number one best is love..the issue I'm having is coming up with first and last months rent..I just can't seem to get it..as a single mom..and two small children I haven't been able to work..trust me..I want to work..but I have no one to watch my kids..I am currently staying at my moms but this is just bringing me so down..its making me depressed..I need help..please anyone..any kind of help is appreciated and god bless you..

Hello :)
I am a girl from 21, that is born and lives in Belgium. Yeah, that small country between Holland, France and Germany that didn't had a government for 541 days.. (I still do not get it..)

Because my parents are really poor, I am a student, I can't get enough money from work, and have to pay back €5000 I can not manage to make my dream come true without someones help. Normally I'll never do this but i am desperate. :)
My dream is to make a work and travel(volunteering) traveltrip at the end of this year to Asia (Thailand, India, Indonesia, cambodja,..) and help chilldren with mental problems because they are victums of child abuse.(I know we have our priest here that made a lot of young victums but in Asia they don't get the same/enough help and compassion.) Also i want to go to Australia and help on organic farms, in National parks and on animal farms. (kangoroo, pinguins, ..) I want to get a lot of experience and finally think clear. I want to see how everything goes on the other side of the world and help out where i can.. Do something really good in my life, something that feels right, helping other people and giving animals hope. :)

I am very sorry that I bother you with this. But if I don't try, I don't know, right? :) please make my dream come true! It would be amazing if you can help me out with this. Thank you so much!!!

Sorry if i made some faults in my writing, or if I was rude in some phrases. My English isn't that well. :)

Thank You For Your Time, I Am Pleased!

Hi! I am currently a single mother of 2 preschool children. I left their father after 5 years of abuse. He was an alcoholic and had become addicted to meth. He signed our children away to his mother. My children were returned to me and I left state to be with my family. My family was unable to help me and sent me to a 3rd state shelter. That shelter was unable to help me due to such extreme needs. My 2 year old has special needs such as celiac disease, hearing impairment, developmental delays, and possible down syndrome. This adds to my stress greatly. I am currently attending school for my Bachelors in Science in Information Technology with a concentration Network Management. I am trying to get on my feet and keep getting knocked down. I need a car, home, and job. If you know of any city or town that would be able to help me get on my feet, please post here.

I have no where else to go. I no longer know what to do. I am a 30 yr old dialysis patient trying to get enough funds together to go get stem cell treatment in South Korea. To try and fix myself some so that I can live a free and happy life. Due to certain circumstances I am having to put up with abuse. I want to be able to get out of this situation, get myself fixed, get a real job, and help my mother out of this nightmare. I am begging for help.

I am writing this with a heavy heart and hope that out there someone will be able to help make mine but more importantly my sons life easier. I am a struggling single mum of 42 with a 6 year old son who is my life unfortunately my husband didn't feel the same way about his family and after supporting him through his maritime career, he had an affair and walked out when my son was 4 after putting us both through mental and sometimes physical abuse, he emptied the house, bank account, took the car and left us alone. I work full time and have grafted the last 2 years in 2 jobs trying to keep a home over our heads but everyday is a struggle to survive. Please can someone help us with just a small donation to make our life easier. I have run up thousands in debt to maintain our house, paying bills, etc so anything will help. All or any donation will be personally thanked. Both myself and son thank you for taking the time to read our post. x

I am shocked that I have come to this. Yet I never judged or declined to help those in need, it is simply odd that I have landed in the spot I'm in.

I am a Nurse (Hospice) receiving Disability, and waiting to get back to work. I deal with severe spinal problems, I have had multiple back surgeries, multiple spine procedures, and now live a life in pain daily. No crying here, I am an advocate for others that live in Chronic Pain.

In Jan.'12, I blew out my knee that has already had 2 surgeries. I am waiting for MRI, and results that will tell so much more--a 3rd knee surgery, or back to work?

It is this interim point that I am asking for help to get through.

The last home I was living in, turned out to be a home with several types of Abuse going on. It was there I hurt my knee, and was treated like an animal. I left at the end of Jan., for my own safety, and am staying with family this month,who really can't afford me.

***I was blessed to find a reasonable place to rent for March, it is getting in there that is the issue monetarily. My family can not help me now, (or I wouldn't be here asking). They have been there for me, gave me a couch to sleep on, and ears to cry to.

If anyone who reads this remembers the care they received from a caring and educated nurse, and wants to help out, just know that I am striving to get back to nursing, to make money again, etc. In pain or not! I don't let that keep me down. I am not a lazy person, and actually I hate not being able to work right now!!

Thanks for reading...AND THIS WILL BE PAID FORWARD!!

I need help to make the co-payments so I can get my teeth fixed. Please help me pay for much needed dental work which is severely affecting my health. Thank you for taking the time to read my request. This is very awkward but necessary since I'm out of options. I write this in faith that GOD will fill your heart with compassion. I have been entrusted to care for my 4 beautiful grandchildren. The only way I can fulfill this blessed opportunity is by regaining my self-esteem again.
Unfortunately I'm a victim of negligence and greed. After years of faulty dental work I’m left with no molars it’s very hard eat. I’m not looking for pity just a little bit of help. I just want to get my life back and be happy again.
I've lost all confidence and my joy. I suffer from depression because I cannot smile anymore. I wear a frown on my face something I thought I would never do. I was a happy person with a lust for life. But now I wear a frown on my face something I thought I would never do.
I’m paying the price for years of abuse. I’ve begged my husband (of 29 years) for help me but he refuse. I’ve become a recluse locked away in my bedroom. I need to (want to) go back to work. I want to live again. I just can’t do it on my own, so here I am.
I’m in need of financial assistance to pay for my dental work. I have insurance but I'm unable to make the co-payments. I’ve been looking for work in customer service since it’s hard to smile I’m left with rejection. My health is deteriorating. My teeth are rotting away. I’m left depressed and unhappy.
I pray GOD will hear me and answer my prayers today. I just want to laugh and smile again and be able to share my joy with family and friends. Your generous donation (small or large) will be greatly appreciated. May GOD's face shine on you. May you be blessed in JESUS now and forever, Amen. Aloha from PA

Hi there...
The whole idea of asking for money makes me sick to my stomach. I have never been a beggar or a person who wanted charity. But I honestly have no other choice anymore.
My story starts in 2009 with my ex girlfriend, whom would turn out to be the worst thing that ever happened to me. I'm not going to play the blame game, because I have forgiven her since. However I am left with the lasting damage of that relationship.
We had dated when we were young, she had cheated with a friend and I had left her, but i always loved her most of all and was eventually able to forgive her later. I was a fool for love. This is where the trouble starts, we had begun to talk again in early 2009, and soon a relationship developed between us once again. By this time she had a daughter who was 7 years old. I moved to another state to be with her and her daughter, after awhile I loved her daughter as my own child. I took her fishing with me every chance I had. I did not realize it before I had went down there, but her family was a real problem. They took to controlling every aspect of her life, even going as far as taking her mail out of her mail box and reading it. From the very start I has hated, I could not be controlled or told what to do, though they tried. Later in the year I was working and I thought things had improved, they grudgingly accepted me.

I am not a cruel or an evil person, I am always firm but loving when it comes to discipline. There had started to be problems at school and home, with tantrums, and destructive behavior. My ex and I talked about it and we tried everything, nothing seemed to work save simple old fashioned spanking. When she threw a tantrum one day and wrote that she hated us and left it on a note where we would surely find it, and broke her own window in her room. I knew something had to be done, this was totally unacceptable. So I spanked her, not hard or vicious like i got when i was a boy. But just my hand. I left a red mark, not welts or bruises a red mark. Of course being a little girl, she tended to talk and tell everyone EVERYTHING. She told her grandmother about it, and that was it for me, suddenly i was this horrible terrible person. My ex and I quarreled about it a great deal and I left for awhile just to get my head around things and see if it was worth saving.

I decided to leave, and I went home back to indiana where i was from, I left with a broken heart, but i knew the situation couldn't be fixed.
There were other things going on at the time I did not become aware of until later, one was that my ex was pregnant. She later admitted to me that she had been smoking while pregnant, drinking, taking more and more prescriptions, and when she finally told me about it she told me she was glad she had miscarried.
I have never forgotten that statment.
Now here is where the real trouble begins and why I am in such desperate need.
The child told her teacher, and child services became involved, as they always do and will for any reason.
Eventually it got turned over to the sheriff's office to see what they wanted to do with it. Now enters the grandparents into the equation.
The pushed it hard even against my ex's wishes, and managed to get them to file charges for child abuse and issue a warrant. A warrant I didnt even know i had until christmas time 2010. I was picked up and detained for extradition over it. The following monday I was released, I was informed that they didnt want to come get me. I called my ex, and she told me that she had told them to drop it, we talked and talked, she begged me to forgive her for all that happened, and eventually i did, for some reason I still felt like i couldnt live without her. So we continued to talk up until july of 2010. When something happened, grandmother got curious wondering what these numbers were on the cell phone bill. She confronted my ex and she told her that she had talked to me. Ever since that point I have this "open case" listed publically on my record. After about 10 interviews I discovered that was the reason I couldn't have a job. Who would want to hire a "child abuser" anyway? Here it is febuary its been about 8 months without work. I lost my place, and nearly everything i own, I even lost the will to live. I live with my parents now, and I know im a burden to them. I'm thinking about it everyday. It is tax refund time now, and I have half of what I need for my lawyer to try and fix this horrible mess. He is of the almost certain opinion this will be completely dropped, and I can have a job again, and recover somewhat of a life. If you can help please help, I am a desperate man, and I want my life back, I need it back, I cant take not being able to work, and being a burden to my parents who are dirt poor!

I'm a 33 year old mother of three boys. I grew up in an abusive home and proceeded on to an abusive marriage that lasted 13 years. From that marriage I have 2 sons, ages 13 and 11. My 13 year old was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome at age 9; my 11 year old has conduct disorder and has a tentative diagnosis of bipolar disorder. About 4 years ago, I finally had the courage to walk out of my abusive marriage and try to build a safe and normal life for my sons. Fast forward a year, and I found the love of my life and soulmate and remarried.I moved 5 hours away from my ex husband, thinking we would be safer. My ex husband remarried as well. Unfortunately, he married an attorney. Over the course of the last 3 years, we have been kept in court with custody battles and such, while my ex used his new wife's knowledge of the law to find every possible way to avoid paying child support. WE had to pay for an attorney, while his wife represented him for free. Not to mention, the court where we had to go for these cases was less than a mile from his home, while we had to travel 5 hours each way. My current husband and I have a son together now who is almost 2 years old. For 6 months of the last year my ex had finally been paying child support. My husband works to provide for us, while also having to support his son from a previous marriage. That's supporting 6 people on one income! So, having the child support really helped. (I am currently unemployed as we have no means of transportation and live in a rural area with no public transportation, and also have 2 children who are too old for daycare, yet cannot be left unattended due to their disorders.) We werent wealthy by any means, but we managed to make it from week to week and keep our bills paid. However, in October, my husband's employer went out of business with no notice. In the same week, my ex ceased making child support payments and the transmission went out in our vehicle. My husband, out of desperation, found a friend two towns away who would allow him to stay with him so my husband would be in an area with public transportation so he could look for work ( the friend has a one bedroom home that would not house us all, so the kids and I stayed here). All he has managed to find so far is a part time fast food job that barely covers his child support payments. This morning I was delivered the court eviction papers that will render my children and I homeless. If this happens, I have no doubt that my abusive ex will do everything he can to take my children away from me. At this point, I do not even have a way to get to the grocery store, let alone to another state to fight for custody of my children, and I certainly cannot afford legal representation. Our current situation is this: my husband and I must live in two different towns because of lack of transportation and income; I am stranded in the middle of nowhere with two special needs children and a toddler; we are on the verge of eviction with no place to go (neither my husband nor I have any family who can help); all of our utilities will be turned off within a week (no water or heat, we already do not have a phone); and my vindictive, abusive ex husband who does not even bother to financially support his children could potentially regain custody if we find ourselves homeless. I am living in a nightmare right now, and am at the end of my rope! I have no other place to turn and I am really praying that this option can help me find a light at the end of this long, dark tunnel. My h usband and I are both abuse survivors who have children with special needs. We are currently full time college students, studying psychology and social work (3.88 GPA's for both of us) because we have been through just about everything imaginable and want to use our past negative experiences to help others who are suffering or surviving and trying to cope. Our only goals in life are to give our children a decent life and help others who need it when we are able. All we need is a little help getting to the point where we are able.

Can maybe get Social Security in 5 months but need help living till then.
Dire Straits. noun. a bad or difficult situation or state of affairs, (not just the name of a band).
Up front, I take full responsibility for my current condition/situation, no other person place or thing is responsible for bad decisions I have made. And I have made quite a few.
That being stated, here are the facts;
Currently living in a car(read that homeless).
Unemployed, not unemployable but a very poor job history.
Stuck in a place where the weather is nice, but I really do not want to be here.
So if you have guessed that this is a plee for help, you are correct.
How did I get here? Years of practice.
I recently spoke with a professional, not in his professional settings, but of subjet matter that is discussed in his professional settings.
After some communications between us his opinion is that quite probably I am suffering from PTSD (Post Tramatic Stress Disorder). Something I aquired at the age of 17. 45 years ago I was involved in an automobile accident that resulted in both deaths, yes plural, and permanent disability to persons other than myself. Although due to circumstances beyond my control I was never charged with any crime, and there are no wants or warrants now, I believe the accident was my fault. I am willing to discuss the details in private as posting them on the internet could possibly bring painful memories to any living family members involved.
So for 45 years I have practiced the symptoms of PTSD so well that I have slipped through undetected. Probably in part due to the fact that although I am of the typical age of a Vietnam Vet, I never served in that arena, as I ran away from home just after the accident, because I was afraid of going to jail, that any draft papers never caught up with me. I was not afraid of going to jail because of being locked behind bars, I was afraid of suffering more sexual abuse at the hands of older inmates like I had already received from my sick alcoholic father.
So not being a vet and not discussing the accident no one ever considered PTSD, and they now know that severe trama of any sort can cause it, not just the theatre of the battlefield. Couple that to me not staying in one spot long enough for anyone to really know me. I have been successfully hiding in my head. As long as I don't get too close too intimate it won't hurt when I run away and lose you.
Severe trama it is now believed to stunt emotional growth. If the trama is severe enough emotional growth can in fact be locked in to the time of the tramatic event. So imagine being a teenager in a 61 year old body, thats me. Married 4 times afraid to have children. I heard on a radio talk show when I was very young that "The sins of the fathers where passed to their offsprings" and made a decision to never have children because no way was I going to do what was done to me to some helpless trusting child. This is one of the few things that I have been successful at.
The professional says I must discuss these matters, that is part of the healing process. So I am jumping in off the deep end, going online with my story in hopes that it will benefit myself and any other poor sod that happens to be in a similar situation.
Yes I am asking for help, financial help. Here with the help of the professional is what I am thinking, If I can find a few thousand lucky individuals that are housed and employed to give one dollar then I can purchase a used motorhome, put it in an inexpensive rv park so that I can have a base of operations from which to take showers on a daily basis, eat hot food and have an address to put on job applications. I could find some form of professional assistance either city/state/federal to deal with the PTSD for the long term.
There is help available.
And just to ease the voices in your head, I have not had a drink of alcohol or any hard drugs since 1982. I have used marijuana on a irregular basis off and on my whole life, I'll see what the PTSD treatment brings regarding that issue.
Honesty, what a concept.
Well if you have read this far, please, if you can afford it, click the paypal button and just one dollar is all I ask.
Thank You,
Joe

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.

I have been on disability for several years now, primarily for bipolar disorder, but also from back and neck injuries sustained from being hit by a drunk driver on new year's eve several years ago. I barely make enough to cover my bills and to buy food to eat, and there is never anything left over, and often there isn't enough, leaving me having to beg for money from friends or family members, who often don't have it and can't give anything. I have been stuck at home for years because I cannot even afford gas to go out in town unless I have to go to the doctor, grocery store, drug store, etc. I do not even want to think about trying to meet a person for a relationship because I feel like I have nothing to offer someone when I can barely take care of myself. Sometimes the despair makes me just want to lie in bed and never get up or swallow a bottle of pills so it will all be over. Living a lonely solitary life is killing me. I have a college degree in psychology and have worked my entire adult life trying to help adults, teenagers, and children to have better lives for themselves, and now I am stuck in the boat where many of them have been, where I feel like there's no hope. I had a lot of problems working also because I live in the southern US where not only racism is rampant (though I'm white), but they also treat people like me the same as they do blacks, and by that I mean people who are bisexual, or open-minded, or who people assume to be gay. I have been fired from jobs, harassed, threatened, passed over for jobs, etc., to the point that years ago I got sick of even trying to work in such a hostile environment when all I ever did was accept everyone and try to help anyone in need. I could never fathom why everybody hated me so much just from general assumptions that I "might" be gay, having never told anyone anything, though I have had relationships with men and women. People here are so anti-gay that it is downright dangerous to make yourself known. They will create vicious lies and rumors to try to destroy your life, will not hire you for jobs, will fire you, threaten and harass you. Further, ever since I was a young boy, I have also been physically abused because of this. White trash rednecks love to do this, and it has been done to me many times-they will kidnap you, drag you off into the woods, tie you to a tree or down in the back of a truck or string you up between two trees, or even act like they're going to hang you, and then they gang rape you, and then they threaten to kill you and your family if you ever tell on them. And you can't go to the police because they're usually there raping you too. I've had to call in the FBI on them several times, and the National Guard has even had to show its presence in our town before because these vigilante KKK rednecks are so threatening towards anybody who isn't a redneck. They think there's only 2 kinds of people, rednecks and queers. Or whites and blacks. I'm white but they label me a queer, and to them, that's just as bad as being black. So therefore, they beat me and rape me. My mother taught me at a young age to play dead, and I had to do it several times growing up. I also had to play like Brer Rabbit and tell them to please not leave me in the woods or I might die, but it's what I wanted because I was a boy scout and I knew I could survive if they'd just leave me alone and let me live. They even had a hand in killing my mother many years ago, and they also kill anyone who gets close to trying to expose them. You learn to stay away from them and to keep your mouth shut and maybe they'll let you live and find somebody else to rape and abuse. By the way, I'm in southern Alabama, in Washington County, and in surrounding counties it's the same. Besides wanting to be able to have a decent life, I want to get out of this area and be free for the first time in my life. Even while in college and working as an adult, I've encountered more redneck KKK vigilantes, both male and female, always hellbent on killing queers, as they say it. I want to be able to afford to move somewhere else, preferably to Florida or to California, to a place where nobody knows me and maybe I can hide out and start over, and also where people are more accepting of people who choose to not be a redneck. I am tired of being hated for being a perfectly normal human being. I know from college that we are all bisexual creatures and that there is nothing wrong with me. Hell, these rednecks are raping young boys, so they're the queers and child molesters, so why the hell would they be threatening me? The answer is because they want to be free to rape and molest whoever they want and they always get away with it, because this area is full of corrupt police and sheriffs and politicians and wealthy townfolk who can get away with murder repeatedly. I just want out, so please help me to be able to move to a safer environment so that I might live a decent and normal life one day, and so I might also can bring myself out of depression and learn to walk in the sun again and hopefully also find love like I want and not be afraid to feel and express my emotions. I cannot believe that in 2012 they have such control over everyone in the redneck south to the point that people are afraid to live normal lives. And yes, every single word of this is true, so please help. At the rate I'm going, I'll never be able to afford to move elsewhere and to get away from this hellhole called southern Alabama. Even in the last several years, I was near our local river at the boat landing parking lot talking to a friend when the police showed up and started to harass us and called us queers for being two men talking in a parking lot. He then made us stay there and called two friends of his to come there, and while the policeman held a gun on us, they raped me and made me give the two redneck men blow jobs and kept slamming the truck door on my head and punching and kicking me. I did successfully get that policeman moved to another town after I went to the hospital after I was raped, but he wasn't fired. The other two men were never tried for their crimes, but someone did end up murdering one of them. This place is awful, you just have no idea. Another incident I'll tell you about before I end this is one weekend I was working a new part time job on top of my full time job at a maximum security mental hospital. My boss at work, a nurse, had a brother who owned a lake, and he needed someone to take care of general maintenance and help out guests and such. Well to try to me out, they had me stay there one weekend, in my own cabin, with just one guest on the lake, and he was in a cabin down the hill. Well, I found out during the course of this weekend that the nurse and her brother were in the KKK and this man staying at the lake had paid them to be able to hunt him a real life queer at the lake. So he kept harassing me and threatening me and coming to my cabin at night with his guns and even one time chased me down the pier and I had to jump into the lake fully clothed, wallet, shoes, jeans, and all, swimming as deep as I could and moving side to side and spinning underwater because this psycho man was shooting bullets at me! I felt like I was in a movie, and I thankfully didn't get hit but several bullets whizzed by me underwater, and I held my breath and swam clear across the lake underwater and only came up when I had to because I had no breath left, and I had to spend the entire night hiding among the lilypads with my head barely sticking out of the water, for fear that he might see me, even though I was across the lake and there wasn't enough moonlight for him to see me from that far away. I was freezing and sick by the next morning, not to mention having a nervous breakdown after being hunted. My brother and his fiance' got me a lawyer and we were advised by him not to pursue it or they would murder us all. The nurse even admitted to the setup at work the next week, and was surprised that I had shown back up, because she figured I'd have been bagged by the hunter.